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I tried a slick new pickup tactic and it didn’t work
Poast new message in this thread
Date: May 19th, 2026 5:33 AM Author: greedy indecent whorehouse I’m at a mutual fund; not going to say which but you’ve seen commercials lol.
There’s this girl in another department on my floor who is gorgeous; she looks like Daphne from Scooby-Doo if you did a porn parody. Incredible stuff.
She and another guy (normal white; not great looking and he’s married already) are talking about dreams in the break room. He said he dreamt that he was helping his mom become a baseball player. I didn’t hear all of her dream but I heard the word “sauna” which is what got me to walk in there. I said “hey, talking about dreams?”
I know what you’re thinking which is that I said she was the girl of my dreams etc but I’m not stupid. I said “I had a dream the three of us were trying cocktails at [name of new bar that opened down the street]. Maybe we need to make that a thing!”
I figured the guy might not be able to come and if he does I’ll tell him what I’m doing and maybe he can wing. Instead they both looked at me and he said “interesting” and she didn’t say anything at all. After a moment he started showing pictures of his kid to her and then I left.
Where did I screw up, bros? |
Date: May 19th, 2026 5:39 AM Author: obsidian vibrant theatre roommate How well do you know these people? Have you hung out or had lunch or something before? If not, seems kinda weird. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5867411&forum_id=2...id.#49889517) |
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Date: May 19th, 2026 5:45 AM Author: greedy indecent whorehouse Shit I guess you’re right.
How do I salvage things with her? |
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Date: May 19th, 2026 8:25 AM Author: obsidian vibrant theatre roommate https://despair.com/products/persistence (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5867411&forum_id=2...id.#49889710) |
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Date: May 19th, 2026 5:46 AM Author: Ruby fortuitous meteor Should have gone in there and just started honking her buttons (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5867411&forum_id=2...id.#49889519) |
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Date: May 19th, 2026 5:52 AM Author: greedy indecent whorehouse maybe but the guy was there
he looked kinda like peter straub so wasn't gonna do anything to stop me but idk |
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Date: May 19th, 2026 6:34 AM Author: Ruby fortuitous meteor homeo would have locked the door and sat down in the corner to watch you all hook up (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5867411&forum_id=2...id.#49889557) |
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Date: May 19th, 2026 6:36 AM Author: greedy indecent whorehouse shit that would have made it happen
i'm kicking myself now
next time both of them are in the room together I'm going to go in and say, "Hey, I'm sorry about last time. I'm new to this kind of thing and I was trying to make it cool but I should just be honest" and then go and start honking her. Right when I do the first honk I'll turn to the guy and wink and then he'll go close the door. |
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Date: May 19th, 2026 6:44 AM Author: Ruby fortuitous meteor nah moment's passed
try it at your next employer where word hasn't got around you're a turbo Melvin |
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Date: May 19th, 2026 7:57 AM Author: Fishy bawdyhouse brethren I don't see any issues with this plan (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5867411&forum_id=2...id.#49889649) |
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Date: May 19th, 2026 8:10 AM Author: mauve unholy resort "now youse can't leave" *sits down* *unzips* *places a lone sour cream and onion pringle in mouth, chews while maintaining constant gaze* |
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Date: May 19th, 2026 9:08 AM Author: greedy indecent whorehouse (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5867411&forum_id=2...id.#49889833) |
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Date: May 19th, 2026 5:51 AM Author: aphrodisiac nursing home You did great (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5867411&forum_id=2...id.#49889520) |
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Date: May 19th, 2026 5:52 AM Author: greedy indecent whorehouse Thanks man that's great to hear
what should my next move be |
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Date: May 19th, 2026 7:50 AM Author: Cerebral brunch Spend the next three months jerking off and pining for her (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5867411&forum_id=2...id.#49889642) |
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Date: May 19th, 2026 8:30 AM Author: Diverse location *years (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5867411&forum_id=2...id.#49889724) |
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Date: May 19th, 2026 6:25 AM Author: bonkers ruddy water buffalo pervert (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5867411&forum_id=2...id.#49889552) |
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Date: May 19th, 2026 6:46 AM Author: Slap-happy gold range Is this entire thread AI? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5867411&forum_id=2...id.#49889564) |
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Date: May 19th, 2026 6:47 AM Author: greedy indecent whorehouse ? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5867411&forum_id=2...id.#49889566) |
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Date: May 19th, 2026 10:54 PM Author: bonkers ruddy water buffalo pervert tcq (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5867411&forum_id=2...id.#49891079) |
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Date: May 19th, 2026 9:13 AM Author: motley temple (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5867411&forum_id=2...id.#49889844) |
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Date: May 19th, 2026 11:19 PM Author: soul-stirring citrine indirect expression sanctuary Here’s the best move. It helps if you have anger issues, so if you don’t chug a few energy drinks beforehand. First. Make her your subordinate. Grind at work and get a promotion if necessary. She said she has kids, find out what’s up with her marriage and see if she’s unhappy. If not then start flexing your net worth, height, whatever her husband doesn’t have. Simultaneously, if you have a wife, knock her up and be a total asshole to her. I’m talking emotional abuse, both insulting her and controlling her finances. Now that you’ve laid the groundwork, you start working on some projects together. Text her about them. Discuss them over drinks. Then find out you two click, you both get divorce and voila, you’re laying the pipe with a coworker. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5867411&forum_id=2...id.#49891097) |
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Date: May 19th, 2026 11:32 PM Author: Dashing saffron foreskin does it matter if the first woman or your wife is asian? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5867411&forum_id=2...id.#49891104) |
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Date: May 19th, 2026 11:20 PM Author: Crimson misunderstood stage Link to Reddit post? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5867411&forum_id=2...id.#49891098) |
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Date: May 19th, 2026 11:33 PM Author: Cerebral brunch Send me her LinkedIn. I'll fuck her and you'll get disgusted by her lack of standards, getting over her and moving on with your life
Win/win |
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Date: May 20th, 2026 5:57 AM Author: greedy indecent whorehouse (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5867411&forum_id=2...id.#49891239) |
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Date: May 20th, 2026 8:15 AM Author: Cerebral brunch Found her. She's kind of slutty...not sure how you struck out so badly: https://ibb.co/xKQNPYKV
Remember, I'm doing this for you |