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PROTIP: use "Websters dictionary defines..." to start ur closing

It has a reputation now as this hackneyed expression, which ...
Adventurous indian lodge
  04/24/15
...
Azure electric furnace striped hyena
  04/24/15
...
drab dysfunction plaza
  04/24/15
...
avocado low-t center depressive
  04/24/15
did this today
Galvanic chrome weed whacker
  10/22/15
"A lot changed on 9/11..."
clear stimulating trailer park internal respiration
  10/22/15
(guy who wrote a great college essay)
excitant awkward corn cake library
  10/22/15
"Ladies and gentlemen of the jury..." *briefcase f...
Salmon idiot sanctuary
  10/22/15
...
Aphrodisiac personal credit line
  10/22/15
...
Beady-eyed Chestnut Wagecucks Chad
  10/08/25
(high school debate semifinalist)
Self-centered stead quadroon
  10/22/15
...
Adventurous indian lodge
  05/16/16
who the fuck was webster
internet-worthy lay
  05/16/16
Noah Webster. Just some autistic bro who really liked words
Adventurous indian lodge
  05/16/16
whats his moniker
internet-worthy lay
  05/16/16
CharlesXII
Adventurous indian lodge
  05/16/16
...
Fragrant house
  12/28/16
180 advice it will hit the jury like some sort of heavy book...
indigo home
  12/28/16
"Urban dictionary defines 'STAY WOKE' as . . . "
Crystalline coffee pot bbw
  12/28/16
...
Fragrant house
  11/11/20
...
Red indirect expression
  07/26/24
...
Arousing painfully honest address
  10/08/25
...
hours-hungry BILLPIG
  11/09/25


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Date: April 24th, 2015 2:57 PM
Author: Adventurous indian lodge

It has a reputation now as this hackneyed expression, which is why it WORKS. The jury always perks up because it's so unexpected. Also it frames the issue very clearly: this is the plain definition, here are the facts, the facts don't match the accusation, acquittal. I literally bring a well-worn old dictionary and thump it onto the jury railing.

Prosecutors get flustered as FUCK and end up reacting to me rather than making their own case, and it makes them look gay as hell. They smirk or scoff, which makes them look like douches. They usually take time in their own closings to say something about "the defense counsel's old tricks and theatrics" but that just reminds the jury even more.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2...id.#27751704)



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Date: April 24th, 2015 3:13 PM
Author: Azure electric furnace striped hyena



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2...id.#27751815)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 24th, 2015 3:17 PM
Author: drab dysfunction plaza



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2...id.#27751846)



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Date: April 24th, 2015 3:26 PM
Author: avocado low-t center depressive



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2...id.#27751921)



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Date: October 22nd, 2015 1:59 PM
Author: Galvanic chrome weed whacker

did this today

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2...id.#29022119)



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Date: October 22nd, 2015 3:23 PM
Author: clear stimulating trailer park internal respiration

"A lot changed on 9/11..."

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2...id.#29022597)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 22nd, 2015 3:24 PM
Author: excitant awkward corn cake library

(guy who wrote a great college essay)

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2...id.#29022604)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 22nd, 2015 3:25 PM
Author: Salmon idiot sanctuary

"Ladies and gentlemen of the jury..." *briefcase full of dictionaries falls open*

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2...id.#29022609)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 22nd, 2015 3:31 PM
Author: Aphrodisiac personal credit line



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2...id.#29022646)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 8th, 2025 8:52 PM
Author: Beady-eyed Chestnut Wagecucks Chad



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2...id.#49335488)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 22nd, 2015 3:33 PM
Author: Self-centered stead quadroon

(high school debate semifinalist)

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2...id.#29022657)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 16th, 2016 7:19 PM
Author: Adventurous indian lodge



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2...id.#30492581)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 16th, 2016 7:20 PM
Author: internet-worthy lay

who the fuck was webster

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2...id.#30492585)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 16th, 2016 7:25 PM
Author: Adventurous indian lodge

Noah Webster. Just some autistic bro who really liked words

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2...id.#30492630)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 16th, 2016 7:27 PM
Author: internet-worthy lay

whats his moniker

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2...id.#30492644)



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Date: May 16th, 2016 7:37 PM
Author: Adventurous indian lodge

CharlesXII

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2...id.#30492706)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 28th, 2016 5:17 PM
Author: Fragrant house



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2...id.#32250208)



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Date: December 28th, 2016 5:18 PM
Author: indigo home

180 advice it will hit the jury like some sort of heavy book!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2...id.#32250216)



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Date: December 28th, 2016 5:20 PM
Author: Crystalline coffee pot bbw

"Urban dictionary defines 'STAY WOKE' as . . . "

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2...id.#32250229)



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Date: November 11th, 2020 11:38 PM
Author: Fragrant house



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2...id.#41347456)



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Date: July 26th, 2024 1:08 PM
Author: Red indirect expression



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2...id.#47895234)



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Date: October 8th, 2025 8:51 PM
Author: Arousing painfully honest address



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2...id.#49335487)



Reply Favorite

Date: November 9th, 2025 11:23 AM
Author: hours-hungry BILLPIG



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2...id.#49414142)