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told female friend tonight how much i wanted to eat her out...

Date: August 22nd, 2007 2:55 AM Author: Bristol Palin's ret...
Obsidian pontificating site
  10/15/14
...
infuriating abnormal parlour patrolman
  10/15/14
Well must say, that rapist wit and aggression took me by sur...
cream trip station people who are hurt
  10/15/14
I forgot the origin of the "phone pee dialed for 911&qu...
soul-stirring mental disorder principal's office
  10/15/14
sooo good
Obsidian pontificating site
  10/15/14
dvp needs to chronicle his social interactions in long form ...
cobalt frisky whorehouse idiot
  10/15/14
Always great
Self-centered sickened locale messiness
  10/15/14
...
Obsidian pontificating site
  10/17/14
!!!
Frozen nighttime rigpig
  10/17/14
wtf
out-of-control carmine black woman affirmative action
  10/17/14
This is embarrassing
Maize Vivacious Chad
  10/17/14
fuck this is so good. would read again. was momentarily comp...
Razzle National
  10/17/14
I thought this was lost to the ages. A spectacularly unique ...
citrine fragrant property brethren
  10/17/14
yeah, I've wanted to read this for so long. OP does good wor...
Aphrodisiac Nowag
  10/17/14
thanks!! also been tryna spread this one if u haven't seen ...
Obsidian pontificating site
  10/17/14
can you find ari "the schnoz" goldberg and madelin...
grizzly prole state
  11/05/14
I kind of miss when "loserfucker" was part of bort...
marvelous factory reset button
  10/17/14
...
Aphrodisiac Nowag
  10/26/14
...
Dashing headpube ratface
  10/26/14
...
Obsidian pontificating site
  11/05/14
Holy shit, this is one of the first posts I remember reading...
titillating wrinkle
  11/05/14
Where's the follow up poast where he fucks her ragged the wh...
Cracking shitlib travel guidebook
  11/05/14
oh ho!
Transparent zippy market
  11/05/14
my favorite line
thriller insanely creepy lodge
  06/08/26
never caught this one until now. thnx.
diverse parlor personal credit line
  11/05/14
...
White house potus
  06/06/20
...
Obsidian pontificating site
  02/11/22
...
Copper locus roast beef
  03/05/22
tyft
curious home boltzmann
  03/05/22
...
Obsidian pontificating site
  06/08/26
Important bump
dull dragon half-breed
  06/08/26
...
Obsidian pontificating site
  06/08/26
Bristol Palin’s retarded incest baby was a 1800000 mon...
Mahogany Confused Candlestick Maker Hospital
  06/08/26
...
Obsidian pontificating site
  06/10/26
I wonder what he's up to now
soul-stirring mental disorder principal's office
  06/10/26
playing with his shoelaces and chewing on his tongue
180 nursing home
  06/10/26
Bristol's kid just turned 16, looks like he's ready for ince...
Glittery pale corner hominid
  06/10/26
I suspect that was gunnerattt tp
pearly hall toaster
  06/10/26
...
irradiated preventive strike
  06/10/26
...
Stirring macaca area
  06/10/26
I find something new in this magnum opus each time. Central ...
Glittery pale corner hominid
  06/10/26
the craziness of central african nations had me lollercausti...
yellow volcanic crater fat ankles
  06/10/26


Poast new message in this thread



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Date: October 15th, 2014 6:43 AM
Author: Obsidian pontificating site

Date: August 22nd, 2007 2:55 AM

Author: Bristol Palin's retarded incest baby (You keep calling me Babu. It's Singh, mother fucker.)

though i certainly intended to flirt with her, i had not seriously considered telling her that i fantasized about eating her out ( which i do) it just came up.

see she was talking to me about this loserfuck ( she actually did call him a loser) she is obsessed with for reasons she herself does not understand. he is some low level officer in the navy while she is off to the peace corps in february. she is obsessed with him but according to her he doesn't give a crap about her, just using her as a convenient booty call. she told me the guy was so vapid and beneath her and low class and emotionally cold and yada yada but that she couldn't stop thinking about him and obsessing over him etc.

she asks me what she should do and i just tell her not to get too emotional or romantic about him, since the peace corps will end all chance for a relationship and probably change the very things she finds attractive in a man.

Now at this point in time i am thinking my friend's attachment to this douche is physical. she is VERY sexual, the relationship she describes sounds like a fuck buddy relationship gone complicated, and in my head i am imagining a buff navy jock.

so i add....." if the fucking is good just use him as a living dildo ..." but the fucking ISN'T good" she exclaims . what to do you mean i ask " he doesn't care about me , even in bed he is a very selfish lover"

Now i am a virgin, but i am pretty aware of what this phrase means. not only that, but i am aware my friend loves to get eaten out, how do i know this? because she has a guide to eating out pussy on her fucking myspace. its literally the first thing you see, and its been there for at least a year.

"so he doesn''t go down on you " i tell her. she looks slightly shocked." well i know you like to get eaten out since you have a guide for it on your myspace"

she starts laughing, but after a bit she looks at me and she sya " i do love it" she says , and blushes. " he never doesit " she complains. well why would he, if he knows he can just fuck you ?

" yeah he doesn't even have to ask we just get alone and im on him,but it sucks every time!"

now this entire conversation i have had my left arm over her shoulders, this conversation has taken place in the form of conspiratorial whispers in each others ears. at this point in time i lean in. " you know that time we went dancing at passion and you had that black skirt on" " yeah" only then did i notice you have great legs ( she laughs) ever since then i have wanted to eat you out,( oh ho! she says) you don't have to do anything ( Noo she says and starts slowlly but firmly pushing me away with both hands) " you don't have to do anything just lie there and enjoy and of course tell me what yu want ( she keeps pushing me slowly away) " i won't even take off my clothes, ill put a cell phone in your hand so you can call the cops if i dosomething you don't want" ( at this point she says my name and says no firmly.)

I look at her for twenty or so seconds and then say " allright" I scoot away so there is a good 30 inches of space separating us. the next couple of minutes are somewhat awkward. but Ten minutes later we are talking like NOTHING happened.

we then continued a series of raucus and interesting conversations, even returning to the navy guy, but also discussing the peace corps the imminent start for law school for me , the craziness of central african nations. we talked for another THREE AND A HALF hours after my very explicit comeon and there was no akwardness or sign of damage to our friendhsip.

we are hanging out again on saturday.

oh and the setting was a small bar/restaurant with these little nooks and such.

and for those who are going to tell me that i came on as desperate and that i am FRIENDZONEPWNED be aware i am already aware of this . i am resigned to my fate. she was never long term girlfriend material and icertainly have no romantic feelings towards her.

she is just a funny supercool latina CGWBT. if all i can be with her is friends ill gladly take the friendship.

why can't more girls be like this? THIS is how you turn down a pass, you don't have to go ahead and make the guy asahmed that he has a cock betweeen his legs. my friend was very firm, but she did not make me feel bad or guilty or anything. learn from this girls.

( http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=675218&forum_id=2#8544713 )

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id.#26519775)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 15th, 2014 7:00 AM
Author: infuriating abnormal parlour patrolman



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id.#26519788)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 15th, 2014 8:11 AM
Author: cream trip station people who are hurt

Well must say, that rapist wit and aggression took me by surprise.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id.#26519900)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 15th, 2014 8:29 AM
Author: soul-stirring mental disorder principal's office

I forgot the origin of the "phone pee dialed for 911" meme, thanks for the reminder. I'll just circle back when I need a quick laugh

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id.#26519953)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 15th, 2014 3:08 PM
Author: Obsidian pontificating site

sooo good

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id.#26522226)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 15th, 2014 3:09 PM
Author: cobalt frisky whorehouse idiot

dvp needs to chronicle his social interactions in long form like this.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id.#26522233)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 15th, 2014 3:16 PM
Author: Self-centered sickened locale messiness

Always great

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id.#26522297)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 17th, 2014 9:30 PM
Author: Obsidian pontificating site



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id.#26538501)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 17th, 2014 9:32 PM
Author: Frozen nighttime rigpig

!!!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id.#26538515)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 17th, 2014 9:32 PM
Author: out-of-control carmine black woman affirmative action

wtf

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id.#26538516)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 17th, 2014 9:35 PM
Author: Maize Vivacious Chad

This is embarrassing

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id.#26538531)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 17th, 2014 9:37 PM
Author: Razzle National

fuck this is so good. would read again. was momentarily completely consumed by this story.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id.#26538541)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 17th, 2014 9:42 PM
Author: citrine fragrant property brethren

I thought this was lost to the ages. A spectacularly unique post.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id.#26538567)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 17th, 2014 9:45 PM
Author: Aphrodisiac Nowag

yeah, I've wanted to read this for so long. OP does good work around here.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id.#26538588)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 17th, 2014 9:48 PM
Author: Obsidian pontificating site

thanks!! also been tryna spread this one if u haven't seen http://www.xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700246&forum_id=2

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id.#26538619)



Reply Favorite

Date: November 5th, 2014 9:23 AM
Author: grizzly prole state

can you find ari "the schnoz" goldberg and madeline "numbah two" chen?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id.#26653055)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 17th, 2014 9:51 PM
Author: marvelous factory reset button

I kind of miss when "loserfucker" was part of bort lexicon.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id.#26538650)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 26th, 2014 12:26 AM
Author: Aphrodisiac Nowag



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id.#26587986)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 26th, 2014 12:26 AM
Author: Dashing headpube ratface



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id.#26587988)



Reply Favorite

Date: November 5th, 2014 5:45 AM
Author: Obsidian pontificating site



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id.#26652645)



Reply Favorite

Date: November 5th, 2014 10:29 AM
Author: titillating wrinkle

Holy shit, this is one of the first posts I remember reading on xo. Getting a little teary eyed here.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id.#26653282)



Reply Favorite

Date: November 5th, 2014 10:31 AM
Author: Cracking shitlib travel guidebook

Where's the follow up poast where he fucks her ragged the whole weekend?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id.#26653296)



Reply Favorite

Date: November 5th, 2014 11:18 AM
Author: Transparent zippy market

oh ho!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id.#26653485)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 8th, 2026 10:16 AM
Author: thriller insanely creepy lodge

my favorite line

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id.#49922129)



Reply Favorite

Date: November 5th, 2014 11:25 AM
Author: diverse parlor personal credit line

never caught this one until now. thnx.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id.#26653508)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 6th, 2020 7:53 PM
Author: White house potus



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id.#40365552)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 11th, 2022 10:19 PM
Author: Obsidian pontificating site



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id.#43954057)



Reply Favorite

Date: March 5th, 2022 10:05 AM
Author: Copper locus roast beef



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id.#44089135)



Reply Favorite

Date: March 5th, 2022 10:15 AM
Author: curious home boltzmann

tyft

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id.#44089181)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 8th, 2026 1:20 AM
Author: Obsidian pontificating site



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id.#49921834)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 8th, 2026 1:31 AM
Author: dull dragon half-breed

Important bump

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id.#49921844)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 8th, 2026 2:10 PM
Author: Obsidian pontificating site



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id.#49922845)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 8th, 2026 2:13 PM
Author: Mahogany Confused Candlestick Maker Hospital

Bristol Palin’s retarded incest baby was a 1800000 moniker

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id.#49922870)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 10th, 2026 1:35 PM
Author: Obsidian pontificating site



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id.#49927940)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 10th, 2026 1:41 PM
Author: soul-stirring mental disorder principal's office

I wonder what he's up to now

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id.#49927942)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 10th, 2026 1:46 PM
Author: 180 nursing home

playing with his shoelaces and chewing on his tongue

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id.#49927950)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 10th, 2026 1:53 PM
Author: Glittery pale corner hominid

Bristol's kid just turned 16, looks like he's ready for incest with mama.

https://www.instagram.com/p/DEdwvcZOaqH/?img_index=1

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id.#49927960)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 10th, 2026 1:57 PM
Author: pearly hall toaster

I suspect that was gunnerattt tp

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id.#49927967)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 10th, 2026 11:01 PM
Author: irradiated preventive strike



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id.#49929626)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 10th, 2026 1:44 PM
Author: Stirring macaca area



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id.#49927947)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 10th, 2026 1:47 PM
Author: Glittery pale corner hominid

I find something new in this magnum opus each time. Central African nations. Amazing.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id.#49927953)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 10th, 2026 3:03 PM
Author: yellow volcanic crater fat ankles

the craziness of central african nations had me lollercausting hard

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id.#49928176)