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told female friend tonight how much i wanted to eat her out...

Date: August 22nd, 2007 2:55 AM Author: Bristol Palin's ret...
electric masturbator
  10/15/14
...
tantric abode weed whacker
  10/15/14
Well must say, that rapist wit and aggression took me by sur...
Navy sandwich
  10/15/14
I forgot the origin of the "phone pee dialed for 911&qu...
Disturbing kitty cat public bath
  10/15/14
sooo good
electric masturbator
  10/15/14
dvp needs to chronicle his social interactions in long form ...
outnumbered pozpig sneaky criminal
  10/15/14
Always great
twisted swashbuckling institution azn
  10/15/14
...
electric masturbator
  10/17/14
!!!
Comical genital piercing
  10/17/14
wtf
glittery clear state
  10/17/14
This is embarrassing
Rambunctious theater pocket flask
  10/17/14
fuck this is so good. would read again. was momentarily comp...
aphrodisiac jet range
  10/17/14
I thought this was lost to the ages. A spectacularly unique ...
Lilac school
  10/17/14
yeah, I've wanted to read this for so long. OP does good wor...
Coiffed Friendly Grandma
  10/17/14
thanks!! also been tryna spread this one if u haven't seen ...
electric masturbator
  10/17/14
can you find ari "the schnoz" goldberg and madelin...
razzmatazz irate giraffe
  11/05/14
I kind of miss when "loserfucker" was part of bort...
Internet-worthy trip ceo locale
  10/17/14
...
Coiffed Friendly Grandma
  10/26/14
...
ivory faggot firefighter jew
  10/26/14
...
electric masturbator
  11/05/14
Holy shit, this is one of the first posts I remember reading...
multi-colored pit
  11/05/14
Where's the follow up poast where he fucks her ragged the wh...
bateful background story
  11/05/14
oh ho!
swollen church building patrolman
  11/05/14
my favorite line
Galvanic alcoholic spot
  06/08/26
never caught this one until now. thnx.
transparent hell coffee pot
  11/05/14
...
exciting dark dilemma
  06/06/20
...
electric masturbator
  02/11/22
...
brindle floppy corner
  03/05/22
tyft
sooty thriller locus
  03/05/22
...
electric masturbator
  06/08/26
Important bump
Mind-boggling Amethyst Market Pistol
  06/08/26
...
electric masturbator
  06/08/26
Bristol Palin’s retarded incest baby was a 1800000 mon...
confused hairy legs rehab
  06/08/26
...
electric masturbator
  06/10/26
I wonder what he's up to now
Disturbing kitty cat public bath
  06/10/26
playing with his shoelaces and chewing on his tongue
Avocado Nursing Home Idea He Suggested
  06/10/26
Bristol's kid just turned 16, looks like he's ready for ince...
idiotic quadroon
  06/10/26
I suspect that was gunnerattt tp
Bipolar cuck
  06/10/26
...
Odious hissy fit
  06/10/26
...
boyish cruel-hearted parlor
  06/10/26
I find something new in this magnum opus each time. Central ...
idiotic quadroon
  06/10/26
the craziness of central african nations had me lollercausti...
blue party of the first part shrine
  06/10/26


Poast new message in this thread



Reply Favorite

Date: October 15th, 2014 6:43 AM
Author: electric masturbator

Date: August 22nd, 2007 2:55 AM

Author: Bristol Palin's retarded incest baby (You keep calling me Babu. It's Singh, mother fucker.)

though i certainly intended to flirt with her, i had not seriously considered telling her that i fantasized about eating her out ( which i do) it just came up.

see she was talking to me about this loserfuck ( she actually did call him a loser) she is obsessed with for reasons she herself does not understand. he is some low level officer in the navy while she is off to the peace corps in february. she is obsessed with him but according to her he doesn't give a crap about her, just using her as a convenient booty call. she told me the guy was so vapid and beneath her and low class and emotionally cold and yada yada but that she couldn't stop thinking about him and obsessing over him etc.

she asks me what she should do and i just tell her not to get too emotional or romantic about him, since the peace corps will end all chance for a relationship and probably change the very things she finds attractive in a man.

Now at this point in time i am thinking my friend's attachment to this douche is physical. she is VERY sexual, the relationship she describes sounds like a fuck buddy relationship gone complicated, and in my head i am imagining a buff navy jock.

so i add....." if the fucking is good just use him as a living dildo ..." but the fucking ISN'T good" she exclaims . what to do you mean i ask " he doesn't care about me , even in bed he is a very selfish lover"

Now i am a virgin, but i am pretty aware of what this phrase means. not only that, but i am aware my friend loves to get eaten out, how do i know this? because she has a guide to eating out pussy on her fucking myspace. its literally the first thing you see, and its been there for at least a year.

"so he doesn''t go down on you " i tell her. she looks slightly shocked." well i know you like to get eaten out since you have a guide for it on your myspace"

she starts laughing, but after a bit she looks at me and she sya " i do love it" she says , and blushes. " he never doesit " she complains. well why would he, if he knows he can just fuck you ?

" yeah he doesn't even have to ask we just get alone and im on him,but it sucks every time!"

now this entire conversation i have had my left arm over her shoulders, this conversation has taken place in the form of conspiratorial whispers in each others ears. at this point in time i lean in. " you know that time we went dancing at passion and you had that black skirt on" " yeah" only then did i notice you have great legs ( she laughs) ever since then i have wanted to eat you out,( oh ho! she says) you don't have to do anything ( Noo she says and starts slowlly but firmly pushing me away with both hands) " you don't have to do anything just lie there and enjoy and of course tell me what yu want ( she keeps pushing me slowly away) " i won't even take off my clothes, ill put a cell phone in your hand so you can call the cops if i dosomething you don't want" ( at this point she says my name and says no firmly.)

I look at her for twenty or so seconds and then say " allright" I scoot away so there is a good 30 inches of space separating us. the next couple of minutes are somewhat awkward. but Ten minutes later we are talking like NOTHING happened.

we then continued a series of raucus and interesting conversations, even returning to the navy guy, but also discussing the peace corps the imminent start for law school for me , the craziness of central african nations. we talked for another THREE AND A HALF hours after my very explicit comeon and there was no akwardness or sign of damage to our friendhsip.

we are hanging out again on saturday.

oh and the setting was a small bar/restaurant with these little nooks and such.

and for those who are going to tell me that i came on as desperate and that i am FRIENDZONEPWNED be aware i am already aware of this . i am resigned to my fate. she was never long term girlfriend material and icertainly have no romantic feelings towards her.

she is just a funny supercool latina CGWBT. if all i can be with her is friends ill gladly take the friendship.

why can't more girls be like this? THIS is how you turn down a pass, you don't have to go ahead and make the guy asahmed that he has a cock betweeen his legs. my friend was very firm, but she did not make me feel bad or guilty or anything. learn from this girls.

( http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=675218&forum_id=2#8544713 )

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id.#26519775)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 15th, 2014 7:00 AM
Author: tantric abode weed whacker



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id.#26519788)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 15th, 2014 8:11 AM
Author: Navy sandwich

Well must say, that rapist wit and aggression took me by surprise.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id.#26519900)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 15th, 2014 8:29 AM
Author: Disturbing kitty cat public bath

I forgot the origin of the "phone pee dialed for 911" meme, thanks for the reminder. I'll just circle back when I need a quick laugh

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id.#26519953)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 15th, 2014 3:08 PM
Author: electric masturbator

sooo good

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id.#26522226)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 15th, 2014 3:09 PM
Author: outnumbered pozpig sneaky criminal

dvp needs to chronicle his social interactions in long form like this.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id.#26522233)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 15th, 2014 3:16 PM
Author: twisted swashbuckling institution azn

Always great

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id.#26522297)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 17th, 2014 9:30 PM
Author: electric masturbator



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id.#26538501)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 17th, 2014 9:32 PM
Author: Comical genital piercing

!!!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id.#26538515)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 17th, 2014 9:32 PM
Author: glittery clear state

wtf

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id.#26538516)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 17th, 2014 9:35 PM
Author: Rambunctious theater pocket flask

This is embarrassing

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id.#26538531)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 17th, 2014 9:37 PM
Author: aphrodisiac jet range

fuck this is so good. would read again. was momentarily completely consumed by this story.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id.#26538541)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 17th, 2014 9:42 PM
Author: Lilac school

I thought this was lost to the ages. A spectacularly unique post.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id.#26538567)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 17th, 2014 9:45 PM
Author: Coiffed Friendly Grandma

yeah, I've wanted to read this for so long. OP does good work around here.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id.#26538588)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 17th, 2014 9:48 PM
Author: electric masturbator

thanks!! also been tryna spread this one if u haven't seen http://www.xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700246&forum_id=2

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id.#26538619)



Reply Favorite

Date: November 5th, 2014 9:23 AM
Author: razzmatazz irate giraffe

can you find ari "the schnoz" goldberg and madeline "numbah two" chen?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id.#26653055)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 17th, 2014 9:51 PM
Author: Internet-worthy trip ceo locale

I kind of miss when "loserfucker" was part of bort lexicon.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id.#26538650)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 26th, 2014 12:26 AM
Author: Coiffed Friendly Grandma



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id.#26587986)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 26th, 2014 12:26 AM
Author: ivory faggot firefighter jew



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id.#26587988)



Reply Favorite

Date: November 5th, 2014 5:45 AM
Author: electric masturbator



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id.#26652645)



Reply Favorite

Date: November 5th, 2014 10:29 AM
Author: multi-colored pit

Holy shit, this is one of the first posts I remember reading on xo. Getting a little teary eyed here.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id.#26653282)



Reply Favorite

Date: November 5th, 2014 10:31 AM
Author: bateful background story

Where's the follow up poast where he fucks her ragged the whole weekend?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id.#26653296)



Reply Favorite

Date: November 5th, 2014 11:18 AM
Author: swollen church building patrolman

oh ho!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id.#26653485)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 8th, 2026 10:16 AM
Author: Galvanic alcoholic spot

my favorite line

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id.#49922129)



Reply Favorite

Date: November 5th, 2014 11:25 AM
Author: transparent hell coffee pot

never caught this one until now. thnx.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id.#26653508)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 6th, 2020 7:53 PM
Author: exciting dark dilemma



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id.#40365552)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 11th, 2022 10:19 PM
Author: electric masturbator



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id.#43954057)



Reply Favorite

Date: March 5th, 2022 10:05 AM
Author: brindle floppy corner



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id.#44089135)



Reply Favorite

Date: March 5th, 2022 10:15 AM
Author: sooty thriller locus

tyft

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id.#44089181)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 8th, 2026 1:20 AM
Author: electric masturbator



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id.#49921834)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 8th, 2026 1:31 AM
Author: Mind-boggling Amethyst Market Pistol

Important bump

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id.#49921844)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 8th, 2026 2:10 PM
Author: electric masturbator



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id.#49922845)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 8th, 2026 2:13 PM
Author: confused hairy legs rehab

Bristol Palin’s retarded incest baby was a 1800000 moniker

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id.#49922870)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 10th, 2026 1:35 PM
Author: electric masturbator



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id.#49927940)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 10th, 2026 1:41 PM
Author: Disturbing kitty cat public bath

I wonder what he's up to now

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id.#49927942)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 10th, 2026 1:46 PM
Author: Avocado Nursing Home Idea He Suggested

playing with his shoelaces and chewing on his tongue

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id.#49927950)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 10th, 2026 1:53 PM
Author: idiotic quadroon

Bristol's kid just turned 16, looks like he's ready for incest with mama.

https://www.instagram.com/p/DEdwvcZOaqH/?img_index=1

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id.#49927960)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 10th, 2026 1:57 PM
Author: Bipolar cuck

I suspect that was gunnerattt tp

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id.#49927967)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 10th, 2026 11:01 PM
Author: Odious hissy fit



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id.#49929626)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 10th, 2026 1:44 PM
Author: boyish cruel-hearted parlor



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id.#49927947)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 10th, 2026 1:47 PM
Author: idiotic quadroon

I find something new in this magnum opus each time. Central African nations. Amazing.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id.#49927953)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 10th, 2026 3:03 PM
Author: blue party of the first part shrine

the craziness of central african nations had me lollercausting hard

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id.#49928176)