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Twas the Night Before Christmas (Peterman version)

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the J ...
buck-toothed boyish theatre dysfunction
  12/03/18
...
buck-toothed boyish theatre dysfunction
  12/03/18
TLDR but clearly you spent a lot of time on this, plz enjoy ...
hideous hateful dilemma persian
  12/03/18
ty!
buck-toothed boyish theatre dysfunction
  12/03/18
jfc, this was 180. This is why I continue to visit this d...
Curious stead
  12/03/18
...
Alcoholic fighting location mood
  12/24/21
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lascivious locus water buffalo
  12/03/18
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flatulent sanctuary
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  12/03/18
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Curious stead
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buck-toothed boyish theatre dysfunction
  12/07/18
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razzle-dazzle mexican lay
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Topaz Business Firm Stain
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multi-colored purple state
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pink love of her life degenerate
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buck-toothed boyish theatre dysfunction
  12/14/18
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buck-toothed boyish theatre dysfunction
  12/24/18
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lascivious locus water buffalo
  12/24/18
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Sticky confused pit alpha
  12/24/18
To be fair, What—a Jew lampooning Christmas in a vu...
self-absorbed school selfie
  12/24/18
120
Poppy plaza
  12/24/18
...
buck-toothed boyish theatre dysfunction
  12/24/18
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Poppy plaza
  12/24/18
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Ruby Hilarious Bawdyhouse
  12/24/18
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buck-toothed boyish theatre dysfunction
  12/24/18
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maize cracking area
  12/24/18
Artistic gold tyvmft
Tan racy institution
  12/24/18
...
buck-toothed boyish theatre dysfunction
  12/16/21
...
Bonkers cyan heaven half-breed
  12/24/18
...
Khaki Resort Yarmulke
  12/24/18
this was pretty good, nice work
shimmering heady principal's office trump supporter
  12/24/18
~*Christmas in July bump*~
buck-toothed boyish theatre dysfunction
  07/01/19
...
lascivious locus water buffalo
  07/01/19
...
lascivious locus water buffalo
  07/01/19
Early December Bump
buck-toothed boyish theatre dysfunction
  12/10/19
getting close...
buck-toothed boyish theatre dysfunction
  12/20/19
ding ding ding
buck-toothed boyish theatre dysfunction
  12/24/19
...
thriller lemon site sneaky criminal
  12/24/19
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buck-toothed boyish theatre dysfunction
  12/24/19
...
Smoky beady-eyed brunch feces
  12/24/19
This deserves more bumps.
bistre pocket flask
  12/24/19
...
Soul-stirring Mad-dog Skullcap Point
  12/24/19
lost it at 8 tiny trans queers. still unmitigated 180
Tan racy institution
  12/24/19
lol
buck-toothed boyish theatre dysfunction
  12/24/19
This
Alcoholic fighting location mood
  12/24/21
Missed this the first time. Great work dude. 180
Sable arousing parlor
  12/24/19
ty, labor of love
buck-toothed boyish theatre dysfunction
  12/24/19
...
haunting bateful spot
  12/24/19
...
buck-toothed boyish theatre dysfunction
  12/24/19
lube up your chimneys!
buck-toothed boyish theatre dysfunction
  12/24/19
pure gold 180
Alcoholic fighting location mood
  12/24/19
...
buck-toothed boyish theatre dysfunction
  12/24/19
...
ultramarine out-of-control meetinghouse
  12/24/19
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buck-toothed boyish theatre dysfunction
  12/15/20
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buck-toothed boyish theatre dysfunction
  12/23/20
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obsidian trailer park
  12/24/20
It's time.
buck-toothed boyish theatre dysfunction
  12/24/20
...
Topaz Business Firm Stain
  12/24/20
...
buck-toothed boyish theatre dysfunction
  12/16/21
...
Ruby Hilarious Bawdyhouse
  12/16/21
...
obsidian trailer park
  12/16/21
Chri$tmas $pirit
buck-toothed boyish theatre dysfunction
  12/20/21
Lmao
Comical offensive orchestra pit round eye
  12/20/21
...
buck-toothed boyish theatre dysfunction
  12/22/21
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Comical offensive orchestra pit round eye
  12/22/21
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godawful contagious multi-billionaire
  12/24/21
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Alcoholic fighting location mood
  12/25/23
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grown men with poopy butt cracks
  12/25/25
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nude butt cheeks
  12/25/25
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constantscreen the great
  12/25/25


Poast new message in this thread



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 12:45 PM
Author: buck-toothed boyish theatre dysfunction

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the J

Lots of truckers were hungry, much like any old day;

The rig pigs were hung, taking dick pics with care,

In hopes that St. Peterman soon would be there;

The truckers were horny, dicks throbbing and red ,

While visions of Peter’s plums danced in their heads;

And Earl in his 'kerchief, and I in my cap,

Had just settled down longing for Peterman’s gap,

When out on the lot there arose such a clatter,

I sprang from the truck to see what was the matter.

Away to the lot I flew like a flash,

Tore open my zipper in hope of fresh gash.

The moon on the breast of the softly lit J

Made the lot lizards glow, all looking to play,

When, what to my wandering eyes should appear,

But a beady-eyed Peterman, and eight tiny trans-queers,

With a little old driver, so lively and quick,

I knew in a moment this night would be sick.

More rapid than eagles out their trousers they came,

And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;

"Now, FLASHER! now, DANCER! now, PRANCER and VIXEN!

On, ROCKET ! on CUPID! on, BONER and SHITZEN!

To the back of the truck! to the top of the wall!

Now suck away! suck away! fuck away all!"

As lubed holes that before the wild hurricane fly,

When they meet with a cock, were mounted to the sky,

So up to the truck-stops the trans-queers they flew,

With the sleigh full of boys, and St. Peterman too.

And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof

The prancing and pawing of each little poof.

As he jerked with his hand, and was turning around,

“Stuff my chimney!” said St. Peterman on the ground.

He was dressed all in latex, from his head to his foot,

His knees were all tarnished with ashes and soot;

A bundle of dildos he had flung on his back,

And he looked like a peddler just lifting his sac.

His eyes -- how they twinkled! his dimples how merry!

His cheeks were like roses, his boihole like a cherry!

His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,

And the beard of his chin had cum white as snow;

The stump of my pipe he held tight in his teeth,

And his lips did encircle its head like a wreath;

He had a broad face and a little round belly,

His broad backside shook like a bowlful of jelly.

He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,

And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself;

A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,

Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread;

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,

We filled all their “stockings” and had circle jerks,

And laying his finger aside of his nose,

A huge snort of cocaine billowed up and rose;

Then he sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,

And away they all pranced like the down of a thistle.

But I heard him exclaim, as he drove out of sight,

"HAPPY CHRISTMAS TO ALL, CASH AND CHECKS ARE ALL-RIGHT!"

Happy December, Merry Christmas & Happy New Year.

Upset Jew, 12-03-2018



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#37342568)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:00 PM
Author: buck-toothed boyish theatre dysfunction



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#37343357)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:04 PM
Author: hideous hateful dilemma persian

TLDR but clearly you spent a lot of time on this, plz enjoy this pity bump as my Chanukah present to you

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#37343380)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:10 PM
Author: buck-toothed boyish theatre dysfunction

ty!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#37343413)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:16 PM
Author: Curious stead

jfc, this was 180.

This is why I continue to visit this demented chatbort.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#37343471)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2021 4:53 PM
Author: Alcoholic fighting location mood



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#43670143)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:17 PM
Author: lascivious locus water buffalo



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#37343477)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:18 PM
Author: razzle unholy skinny woman temple



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#37343484)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:22 PM
Author: flatulent sanctuary



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#37343509)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:22 PM
Author: Bright spectacular laser beams



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#37343515)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:26 PM
Author: Curious stead



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#37343539)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:35 AM
Author: buck-toothed boyish theatre dysfunction



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#37367063)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:39 AM
Author: razzle-dazzle mexican lay



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#37367091)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:50 AM
Author: Topaz Business Firm Stain



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#37367151)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:52 AM
Author: multi-colored purple state



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#37367159)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:55 AM
Author: pink love of her life degenerate



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#37367178)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 14th, 2018 12:12 PM
Author: buck-toothed boyish theatre dysfunction



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#37407273)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 14th, 2018 12:15 PM
Author: stimulating church building sweet tailpipe



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#37407292)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:40 AM
Author: buck-toothed boyish theatre dysfunction



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#37462610)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:40 AM
Author: lascivious locus water buffalo



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#37462612)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:41 AM
Author: Sticky confused pit alpha



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#37462615)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:44 AM
Author: self-absorbed school selfie

To be fair,

What—a Jew lampooning Christmas in a vulgar and sexually explicit manner for “laughs”? Why I’ve never

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#37462619)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:52 AM
Author: Poppy plaza

120

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#37462646)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 7:44 PM
Author: buck-toothed boyish theatre dysfunction



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#37465688)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:47 AM
Author: Poppy plaza



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#37462629)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:54 AM
Author: Ruby Hilarious Bawdyhouse



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#37462649)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:46 AM
Author: buck-toothed boyish theatre dysfunction



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#37462815)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:02 PM
Author: maize cracking area



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#37465757)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:27 PM
Author: Tan racy institution

Artistic gold tyvmft

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#37466002)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 12:45 PM
Author: buck-toothed boyish theatre dysfunction



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#43619656)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:30 PM
Author: Bonkers cyan heaven half-breed



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#37466012)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:35 PM
Author: Khaki Resort Yarmulke



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#37466032)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:38 PM
Author: shimmering heady principal's office trump supporter

this was pretty good, nice work

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#37466049)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 1st, 2019 5:53 PM
Author: buck-toothed boyish theatre dysfunction

~*Christmas in July bump*~

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#38469719)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 1st, 2019 5:53 PM
Author: lascivious locus water buffalo



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#38469721)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 1st, 2019 5:53 PM
Author: lascivious locus water buffalo



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#38469720)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 10th, 2019 9:37 AM
Author: buck-toothed boyish theatre dysfunction

Early December Bump

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#39241607)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 20th, 2019 12:21 PM
Author: buck-toothed boyish theatre dysfunction

getting close...

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#39297740)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 12:18 AM
Author: buck-toothed boyish theatre dysfunction

ding ding ding

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#39316620)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 12:38 AM
Author: thriller lemon site sneaky criminal



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#39316668)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 8:42 AM
Author: buck-toothed boyish theatre dysfunction



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#39317383)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 8:49 AM
Author: Smoky beady-eyed brunch feces



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#39317409)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 8:52 AM
Author: bistre pocket flask

This deserves more bumps.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#39317415)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 9:07 AM
Author: Soul-stirring Mad-dog Skullcap Point



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#39317493)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 9:14 AM
Author: Tan racy institution

lost it at 8 tiny trans queers. still unmitigated 180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#39317523)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 10:57 AM
Author: buck-toothed boyish theatre dysfunction

lol

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#39318060)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2021 4:54 PM
Author: Alcoholic fighting location mood

This

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#43670148)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 9:30 AM
Author: Sable arousing parlor

Missed this the first time. Great work dude.

180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#39317610)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 10:58 AM
Author: buck-toothed boyish theatre dysfunction

ty, labor of love

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#39318062)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 11:02 AM
Author: haunting bateful spot



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#39318085)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 11:51 AM
Author: buck-toothed boyish theatre dysfunction



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#39318318)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 1:48 PM
Author: buck-toothed boyish theatre dysfunction

lube up your chimneys!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#39318901)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 4:19 PM
Author: Alcoholic fighting location mood

pure gold 180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#39319682)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 5:57 PM
Author: buck-toothed boyish theatre dysfunction



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#39320155)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 4:29 PM
Author: ultramarine out-of-control meetinghouse



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#39319749)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 15th, 2020 2:54 PM
Author: buck-toothed boyish theatre dysfunction



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#41553760)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 23rd, 2020 1:37 PM
Author: buck-toothed boyish theatre dysfunction



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#41603653)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2020 8:07 AM
Author: obsidian trailer park



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#41608882)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2020 1:14 PM
Author: buck-toothed boyish theatre dysfunction

It's time.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#41610330)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2020 1:19 PM
Author: Topaz Business Firm Stain



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#41610375)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 10:44 AM
Author: buck-toothed boyish theatre dysfunction



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#43618689)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 11:32 AM
Author: Ruby Hilarious Bawdyhouse



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#43619119)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 11:34 AM
Author: obsidian trailer park



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#43619130)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 20th, 2021 12:21 PM
Author: buck-toothed boyish theatre dysfunction

Chri$tmas $pirit

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#43643241)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 20th, 2021 12:27 PM
Author: Comical offensive orchestra pit round eye

Lmao

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#43643299)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 22nd, 2021 5:59 PM
Author: buck-toothed boyish theatre dysfunction



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#43658914)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 22nd, 2021 6:53 PM
Author: Comical offensive orchestra pit round eye



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#43659259)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2021 4:49 PM
Author: godawful contagious multi-billionaire



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#43670127)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 25th, 2023 11:04 AM
Author: Alcoholic fighting location mood



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#47211358)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 25th, 2025 2:14 AM
Author: grown men with poopy butt cracks



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#49538706)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 25th, 2025 8:10 AM
Author: nude butt cheeks (✅🍑)



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#49538932)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 25th, 2025 8:14 AM
Author: constantscreen the great



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#49538935)