to their dog

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5730304&forum_id=2...id.#48965383)

https://anndemeulemeester.com/en-us/collections/boots/products/2102-w-c03-390-099-alec-ankle-boots?_pos=13&_fid=385075853&_ss=c%3Fvariant%3D39693438746784

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5730304&forum_id=2...id.#48964687)

https://www.tiktok.com/@suleymandolaev/video/7242738152064978218

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5730304&forum_id=2...id.#48966976)

He was a national honor society, marching band nerd in HS. Completely bald, 5’9” and very average sized dick. She feels like she hit the lottery with him.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5730304&forum_id=2...id.#48966120)

A Field Manual for the Battle-Damaged and Cunning

They are not angels. They are not women in the classical sense. They are not nice. They are the women who scream at waiters, wear puffer jackets in the club, call their mothers “bitch,” and never once in their lives have reflected. They are the Scumbag Clique. And you want one.

Good. You are a man of taste and war.

They have tattoos with meanings they can’t explain. They use phrases like “my truth” and “deadass” with the sincerity of a priest offering the host. They vape watermelon poison and think astrology is real. They mock The Iliad but cry over TikToks. They are Scumbaguettes. They are emotionally bankrupt, morally stunted, and sexually omnivorous. If you bring a flower, they will laugh. If you bring ketamine, they will follow.

To seduce them, you must amputate your dignity at the shoulder.

RULE ONE: NO LOSERY PHRASES

Do not say “the former” or “the latter.” Do not say “as it were,” “I posit,” or “to wit.” These are sounds that do not penetrate their ears. They interpret these noises as threats or attempts to shame them for their GEDs. They are immune to structure. They consider syntax fascist. If you use commas properly, they assume you're a virgin.

Speak in raw nouns. Grunt when possible. Talk like an unmedicated YouTuber:

“This slaps.”

“I’m off a bean.”

“Let’s spin the block.”

“He’s cooked.”

Say things that sound like violence or sex or money. No abstractions. They fear abstraction.

RULE TWO: NEVER BE “SAFE”

They want chaos. They want tension. They want the bartender to ask you to leave. If you ask what they “do for work,” you have already lost. They hate their jobs and see your question as small talk—which to them is violence. If you want to win, lean close and say something foul. Not cruel—foul. Something that could get you banned from HR. Something that makes her laugh because it breaks the furniture of her soul.

The average Scumbaguette has been chased out of five cities and two group chats. You are not going to impress her with good credit. You impress her by being a spectacle. Be dangerous, or be forgotten.

RULE THREE: BE THE DEVIL, NOT THE DAD

Do not correct her. Do not educate her. Do not show her the right way to do anything. You are not her father. Her father is either in prison or her phone contacts under “do not answer.” If you say, “Actually, it’s pronounced…” she will ghost you mid-date.

Instead, encourage her worst impulses. If she says she keyed her ex’s car, say, “Hell yeah.” If she says she hasn’t paid taxes in six years, say, “As you should.” You are the demon on her shoulder, not the angel.

RULE FOUR: DRESS LIKE YOU JUST CRAWLED OUT OF THE WOODS

They don’t want clean men. They want feral men. They want mullets, chipped nails, coats that smell like gasoline. You must look like you either just won a bar fight or are about to start one. She must not know whether you are on parole or on tour. If you own a Patagonia fleece, burn it now.

RULE FIVE: NEVER APOLOGIZE

She might bait you into it. She might accuse you of being “problematic” for liking Kubrick or saying “chick.” You must not flinch. If you show guilt, she will smell it like a dying animal. She will circle you, destroy you, screenshot you. But if you say, “Yeah, and?”—she will fold like a beach chair.

They are addicted to conflict but hate winning it. She wants to rage at a man who will not move. You are that man. Smile as she yells. Order another drink. Light a cigarette indoors.

RULE SIX: WALK AWAY FIRST

You must always leave. Do not linger. Do not ask what she’s doing later. Do not seek her approval. Once she is semi-laughing and calling you “insane,” you vanish. No goodbyes. Just say “bet” and leave like you have crimes to commit.

She will text. It might take hours. It might take days. She will say something chaotic and cold. Respond once. Something like:

“Newports?”

“U up?”

“Pull up.”

She’ll come. She always comes.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5730304&forum_id=2...id.#48972122)