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Johnsmeyer calling Suze Orman w/ "Scream" voice distorter
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Poast new message in this thread
Date: June 11th, 2014 11:36 PM Author: exhilarant awkward cuck (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2...id.#25733527) |
Date: June 11th, 2014 11:38 PM Author: White federal forum You should've been a comedy writer (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2...id.#25733532) |
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Date: June 11th, 2014 11:38 PM Author: fuchsia stock car (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2...id.#25733535) |
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Date: June 11th, 2014 11:39 PM Author: marvelous outnumbered stage (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2...id.#25733537) |
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Date: June 11th, 2014 11:40 PM Author: White federal forum Suze: "sir, can I ask how tall you are."
*very long pause*
Robot/monster voice: " five nine" |
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Date: June 11th, 2014 11:40 PM Author: marvelous outnumbered stage LOL (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2...id.#25733551) |
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Date: June 11th, 2014 11:41 PM Author: exhilarant awkward cuck laughing & convlusing & foamign at mouth at work lmfao (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2...id.#25733555) |
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Date: April 4th, 2015 3:56 PM Author: Odious Tanning Salon Community Account (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2...id.#27619755) |
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Date: June 11th, 2014 11:59 PM Author: nudist area jewess (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2...id.#25733697) |
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Date: June 12th, 2014 12:11 AM Author: Twinkling 180 Idea He Suggested (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2...id.#25733775) |
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Date: June 12th, 2014 6:22 PM Author: White federal forum (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2...id.#25738401) |
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Date: June 12th, 2014 6:23 PM Author: stimulating bronze athletic conference school cafeteria (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2...id.#25738402) |
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Date: June 12th, 2014 6:23 PM Author: lake rigor (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2...id.#25738403) |
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Date: June 12th, 2014 6:36 PM Author: elite pearly university holy shit (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2...id.#25738512) |
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Date: June 12th, 2014 6:38 PM Author: Multi-colored Property Holy shit screaming/vomiting (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2...id.#25738527) |
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Date: June 12th, 2014 8:23 PM Author: White federal forum JFC (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2...id.#25739208) |
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Date: June 13th, 2014 3:10 PM Author: nudist area jewess i really dont know why but this cracks me the eff up (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2...id.#25743978) |
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Date: June 13th, 2014 3:22 PM Author: marvelous outnumbered stage Well to start, you have Suze Orman neighing a complete non-sequitur of a question that hits at the linchpin of Johnsmeyer's tragic character: his height. Who knows why that has come up? Maybe PAYE? Maybe estate planning re a farm with gold statues? Maybe what to do with his minor league performance bonus? So we get a brilliant start.
Then we get stuck in the long pause purgatory, but it's a good purgatory. We know what might happen next and on first read, 8 times out of 10 we'll guess correctly. But during the long pause your anticipation wells up. You can envision Johnsmeyer nervously fumbling with the Scream robot voice machine pressed against an old landline phone with a curly cord that's way, way too long in a dark Manhattan basement closet apartment, thinking of whether to answer truthfully and whether the Scream robot voice machine is actually working to cover his identity. It's not that he's weird, he's just shy, a little embarrassed and wants anonymity. It's really absurd, but you give the little guy the benefit of the doubt and hope he doesn't hang up out of fear while pissing his pants. Besides, chances are he already pissed his pants after the big Suze asked him about his relationship status, which prompted him to look up at an out of focus picture of some girl named Dutchess that's the only thing on his otherwise bare windowless walls.
You see all this in the long pause which is then pierced by the Scream robot voice as it responds "five nine" which is hilarious because it's earnestly delivered in such an bizarre manner. You can hear the voice clearly in your head while envisioning Johnsmeyer in his apartment and Suze and her producers in the studio wondering wtf kind of savant is on the other end of the line. But it's doubly hilarious because we all know Johnsy boy is really five seven, on a good day. |
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Date: June 13th, 2014 3:25 PM Author: White federal forum TY FOR YOUR SERVICE (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2...id.#25744029) |
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Date: June 13th, 2014 3:29 PM Author: White federal forum (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2...id.#25744049) |
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Date: June 13th, 2014 3:30 PM Author: Twinkling 180 Idea He Suggested Poast of the year (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2...id.#25744051) |
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Date: June 13th, 2014 3:31 PM Author: pontificating sex offender mood this is scholarship (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2...id.#25744053) |
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Date: June 13th, 2014 3:32 PM Author: nudist area jewess Loool 180 (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2...id.#25744063) |
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Date: June 13th, 2014 3:35 PM Author: iridescent pit suze orman keeping steady, unconcerned eye contact into the camera during the pause (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2...id.#25744079) |
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Date: June 13th, 2014 3:42 PM Author: Galvanic resort I read this with the Charlie Kelly voice (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2...id.#25744101) |
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Date: June 13th, 2014 3:53 PM Author: elite pearly university whoa (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2...id.#25744164) |
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Date: June 13th, 2014 3:59 PM Author: stimulating bronze athletic conference school cafeteria (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2...id.#25744191) |
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Date: June 13th, 2014 8:33 PM Author: abnormal business firm knife (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2...id.#25745855) |
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Date: June 13th, 2014 10:55 PM Author: exhilarant awkward cuck (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2...id.#25746687) |
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Date: February 14th, 2015 5:47 PM Author: abnormal business firm knife (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2...id.#27315083) |
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Date: April 4th, 2015 4:04 PM Author: Massive Dopamine Crotch 180 (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2...id.#27619800) |
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Date: August 5th, 2015 10:01 PM Author: Wild church halford (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2...id.#28487531) |
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Date: August 5th, 2015 11:57 PM Author: judgmental corn cake hissy fit (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2...id.#28488640) |
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Date: August 6th, 2015 9:24 AM Author: jade turdskin (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2...id.#28489891) |
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Date: August 6th, 2015 9:28 AM Author: aromatic honey-headed psychic lol you're like the judge who wrote the Pepsi Points opinion from 1L contracts (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2...id.#28489907) |
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Date: August 6th, 2015 9:39 AM Author: Chestnut Boltzmann Elastic Band How did I miss this? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2...id.#28489936) |
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Date: August 6th, 2015 1:33 PM Author: Talented Home (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2...id.#28491214) |
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Date: August 6th, 2015 1:34 PM Author: Dead lay (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2...id.#28491223) |
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Date: August 6th, 2015 11:56 PM Author: diverse queen of the night gas station there is some true comedic talent on this bort (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2...id.#28497490) |
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Date: August 6th, 2015 11:59 PM Author: umber stag film jew lol damn dude, nice work (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2...id.#28497522) |
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Date: October 8th, 2015 6:05 AM Author: Talented Home the real important part is that this only took 12 minutes to write (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2...id.#28924462) |
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Date: June 26th, 2020 5:32 PM Author: razzle-dazzle range keepsake machete (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2...id.#40501651) |
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Date: March 27th, 2021 12:19 AM Author: Self-absorbed bateful antidepressant drug patrolman (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2...id.#42172476) |
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Date: June 15th, 2021 9:43 PM Author: Narrow-minded Violent Market Filthpig (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2...id.#42634165) |
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Date: June 21st, 2024 6:27 PM Author: marvelous outnumbered stage (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2...id.#47767334) |
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Date: June 13th, 2014 3:12 PM Author: Orchid startling quadroon (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2...id.#25743993) |
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Date: June 13th, 2014 4:12 PM Author: Puce Azn Suze purses her lips, furrows her brow and nods her head sympathetically. She says 'Wellll...' in a manner indicating that she won't be able to provide any helpful advice.
*Audible click from phone, then dial tone*
Suze: "Well it looks like we lost 'Duke' from New York".
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