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PROTIP: use "Websters dictionary defines..." to start ur closing

It has a reputation now as this hackneyed expression, which ...
domesticated toaster
  04/24/15
...
Nofapping pit
  04/24/15
...
abnormal shrine tattoo
  04/24/15
...
Brindle dashing market
  04/24/15
did this today
slate background story
  10/22/15
"A lot changed on 9/11..."
pale lay roommate
  10/22/15
(guy who wrote a great college essay)
Comical fluffy university
  10/22/15
"Ladies and gentlemen of the jury..." *briefcase f...
multi-colored ivory trailer park
  10/22/15
...
Turquoise sound barrier native
  10/22/15
...
Word combinations
  10/08/25
(high school debate semifinalist)
stirring mischievous abode fat ankles
  10/22/15
...
domesticated toaster
  05/16/16
who the fuck was webster
out-of-control cuck
  05/16/16
Noah Webster. Just some autistic bro who really liked words
domesticated toaster
  05/16/16
whats his moniker
out-of-control cuck
  05/16/16
CharlesXII
domesticated toaster
  05/16/16
...
adventurous macaca party of the first part
  12/28/16
180 advice it will hit the jury like some sort of heavy book...
hilarious soul-stirring pisswyrm
  12/28/16
"Urban dictionary defines 'STAY WOKE' as . . . "
floppy ungodly kitchen
  12/28/16
...
adventurous macaca party of the first part
  11/11/20
...
Razzmatazz theater knife
  07/26/24
...
Paralegal Adolf Hitler
  10/08/25


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Reply Favorite

Date: April 24th, 2015 2:57 PM
Author: domesticated toaster

It has a reputation now as this hackneyed expression, which is why it WORKS. The jury always perks up because it's so unexpected. Also it frames the issue very clearly: this is the plain definition, here are the facts, the facts don't match the accusation, acquittal. I literally bring a well-worn old dictionary and thump it onto the jury railing.

Prosecutors get flustered as FUCK and end up reacting to me rather than making their own case, and it makes them look gay as hell. They smirk or scoff, which makes them look like douches. They usually take time in their own closings to say something about "the defense counsel's old tricks and theatrics" but that just reminds the jury even more.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2...id.#27751704)



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Date: April 24th, 2015 3:13 PM
Author: Nofapping pit



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2...id.#27751815)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 24th, 2015 3:17 PM
Author: abnormal shrine tattoo



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2...id.#27751846)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 24th, 2015 3:26 PM
Author: Brindle dashing market



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2...id.#27751921)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 22nd, 2015 1:59 PM
Author: slate background story

did this today

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2...id.#29022119)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 22nd, 2015 3:23 PM
Author: pale lay roommate

"A lot changed on 9/11..."

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2...id.#29022597)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 22nd, 2015 3:24 PM
Author: Comical fluffy university

(guy who wrote a great college essay)

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2...id.#29022604)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 22nd, 2015 3:25 PM
Author: multi-colored ivory trailer park

"Ladies and gentlemen of the jury..." *briefcase full of dictionaries falls open*

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2...id.#29022609)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 22nd, 2015 3:31 PM
Author: Turquoise sound barrier native



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2...id.#29022646)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 8th, 2025 8:52 PM
Author: Word combinations (2 make yer heart skip)



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2...id.#49335488)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 22nd, 2015 3:33 PM
Author: stirring mischievous abode fat ankles

(high school debate semifinalist)

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2...id.#29022657)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 16th, 2016 7:19 PM
Author: domesticated toaster



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2...id.#30492581)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 16th, 2016 7:20 PM
Author: out-of-control cuck

who the fuck was webster

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2...id.#30492585)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 16th, 2016 7:25 PM
Author: domesticated toaster

Noah Webster. Just some autistic bro who really liked words

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2...id.#30492630)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 16th, 2016 7:27 PM
Author: out-of-control cuck

whats his moniker

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2...id.#30492644)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 16th, 2016 7:37 PM
Author: domesticated toaster

CharlesXII

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2...id.#30492706)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 28th, 2016 5:17 PM
Author: adventurous macaca party of the first part



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2...id.#32250208)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 28th, 2016 5:18 PM
Author: hilarious soul-stirring pisswyrm

180 advice it will hit the jury like some sort of heavy book!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2...id.#32250216)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 28th, 2016 5:20 PM
Author: floppy ungodly kitchen

"Urban dictionary defines 'STAY WOKE' as . . . "

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2...id.#32250229)



Reply Favorite

Date: November 11th, 2020 11:38 PM
Author: adventurous macaca party of the first part



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2...id.#41347456)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 26th, 2024 1:08 PM
Author: Razzmatazz theater knife



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2...id.#47895234)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 8th, 2025 8:51 PM
Author: Paralegal Adolf Hitler (✅🍑)



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2...id.#49335487)