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a day in the life of a Snail: an original XO Choose Your Own Adventure Novel

You don't have any work today because you basically only wor...
180 mahogany keepsake machete
  12/29/15
b!
Adventurous unhinged codepig area
  12/29/15
C
Purple bipolar crotch indian lodge
  12/29/15
...
orchid voyeur
  12/29/15
c
insecure zombie-like station
  12/29/15
a
Gaped Juggernaut
  12/29/15
a
ivory sneaky criminal
  12/29/15
Next chapter please
Adventurous unhinged codepig area
  12/29/15
I can', A & B ar tied :(
180 mahogany keepsake machete
  12/29/15
...
orchid voyeur
  12/29/15
Fine I change my vote to A.
Adventurous unhinged codepig area
  12/29/15
a provides nutrition and wont let you starve
stirring school
  12/29/15
...
orchid voyeur
  12/29/15
?
stirring school
  12/29/15
...
orchid voyeur
  12/29/15
You lug the turkey chili home as you wonder what it would fe...
180 mahogany keepsake machete
  12/29/15
...
orchid voyeur
  12/29/15
c for sure
stirring school
  12/29/15
C
ivory sneaky criminal
  12/29/15
c
twinkling space
  12/29/15
Xo
Purple bipolar crotch indian lodge
  12/29/15
chaturbate
saffron organic girlfriend dysfunction
  12/30/15
C!
Adventurous unhinged codepig area
  12/29/15
NEXT CHAPTER
Adventurous unhinged codepig area
  12/29/15
everyone in this thread unzips.
Plum Marvelous Legend
  12/29/15
...
orchid voyeur
  12/29/15
...
Purple bipolar crotch indian lodge
  12/29/15
Did they turn off Snailmo's electricity?
twinkling space
  12/29/15
no, i think he found a job, and a girlfriend
Fiercely-loyal Maroon Wagecucks
  12/29/15
lol ouch
Razzmatazz Dull Theater
  12/30/15
he is busy doing tinychat
stirring school
  12/29/15
...
burgundy office
  12/30/15
...
orchid voyeur
  12/30/15
Topic has amazing potential.
lascivious locus
  12/30/15
You log into chaturbate in order to watch a session of some ...
180 mahogany keepsake machete
  12/30/15
2
Razzmatazz Dull Theater
  12/30/15
I choose 2, sounds like a great opportunity to bash BOOMER s...
lascivious locus
  12/30/15
police
saffron organic girlfriend dysfunction
  12/30/15
1
ivory sneaky criminal
  12/30/15
lol r u like a genderfuluid snail or sth
Purple bipolar crotch indian lodge
  12/30/15
...
Purple bipolar crotch indian lodge
  01/02/16
4 and 180
twinkling space
  12/30/15
Wake up and post please.
twinkling space
  12/30/15
...
Purple bipolar crotch indian lodge
  12/30/15
18000000000000000000000000000000000
iridescent gas station faggotry
  01/11/16
...
Diverse hateful nowag
  11/05/20
next chapter please!
Topaz whorehouse friendly grandma
  11/05/20
...
bungulator
  12/13/25
...
Narrow-minded carmine hall fortuitous meteor
  11/05/20


Poast new message in this thread



Reply Favorite

Date: December 29th, 2015 9:54 PM
Author: 180 mahogany keepsake machete

You don't have any work today because you basically only work two days out of seven at most. Instead, you are at the local grocery store, pondering how to use your EBT card.

Snow falls to the ground outside as you wish you could drink yourself silly, fall into a snow pile, and never wake up. The store has a pungent odor that one naturally associates with inner-city grocery stores.

Everything in the store reminds you that CAPITALISM is bullshit FRAUD AND LIES where proles fucking SCAVENGE to live when faggot parasite bankers and lawyers and eating out to celebrate RAPING this country and everyone in it. Kill all elites by tearing their limbs off with horses and their families too.

Anyways, you only have enough remaining on your EBT to purchase one of the three products on sale:

a) six cans of turkey chili

b) two liters of diet coke

c) a bunch of bananas

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3082672&forum_id=2...id.#29480960)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 29th, 2015 9:56 PM
Author: Adventurous unhinged codepig area

b!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3082672&forum_id=2...id.#29480979)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 29th, 2015 11:15 PM
Author: Purple bipolar crotch indian lodge

C

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3082672&forum_id=2...id.#29481594)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 29th, 2015 9:55 PM
Author: orchid voyeur



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3082672&forum_id=2...id.#29480970)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 29th, 2015 9:56 PM
Author: insecure zombie-like station

c

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3082672&forum_id=2...id.#29480973)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 29th, 2015 9:56 PM
Author: Gaped Juggernaut

a

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3082672&forum_id=2...id.#29480975)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 29th, 2015 9:57 PM
Author: ivory sneaky criminal

a

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3082672&forum_id=2...id.#29480989)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 29th, 2015 10:11 PM
Author: Adventurous unhinged codepig area

Next chapter please

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3082672&forum_id=2...id.#29481133)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 29th, 2015 10:15 PM
Author: 180 mahogany keepsake machete

I can', A & B ar tied :(

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3082672&forum_id=2...id.#29481164)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 29th, 2015 10:20 PM
Author: orchid voyeur



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3082672&forum_id=2...id.#29481212)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 29th, 2015 10:21 PM
Author: Adventurous unhinged codepig area

Fine I change my vote to A.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3082672&forum_id=2...id.#29481216)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 29th, 2015 10:22 PM
Author: stirring school

a

provides nutrition and wont let you starve

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3082672&forum_id=2...id.#29481222)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 29th, 2015 10:23 PM
Author: orchid voyeur



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3082672&forum_id=2...id.#29481225)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 29th, 2015 10:30 PM
Author: stirring school

?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3082672&forum_id=2...id.#29481285)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 29th, 2015 10:31 PM
Author: orchid voyeur



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3082672&forum_id=2...id.#29481289)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 29th, 2015 10:30 PM
Author: 180 mahogany keepsake machete

You lug the turkey chili home as you wonder what it would feel like if you shoved it all up your ass. Your death would be a slightly less humiliating than your actual "life".

Once you get home, you throw it all and start smacking it open with your broken can opener. It's broken because you got it from the Dollar Tree a year ago and you use it all the fucking time because you're too fucking depressed to cook FUCK OBAMA'S AMERICA.

After microwaving it, you douse it in tabasco sauce that you STOLE from Chipotle because LLJL fuck those shitlib faggots, it's so 180 to go at peak hour and just fucking steal sauce. You hope you get arrested one day because at least jail provides life structure.

While eating, you have four tabs open on the computer. None of them are XO. Which do you go on while eating your SHITchili

a) facebook

b) ashemaletv

c) chaturbate

d) drudgereport

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3082672&forum_id=2...id.#29481288)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 29th, 2015 10:31 PM
Author: orchid voyeur



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3082672&forum_id=2...id.#29481296)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 29th, 2015 10:32 PM
Author: stirring school

c for sure

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3082672&forum_id=2...id.#29481299)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 29th, 2015 10:33 PM
Author: ivory sneaky criminal

C

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3082672&forum_id=2...id.#29481311)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 29th, 2015 10:56 PM
Author: twinkling space

c

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3082672&forum_id=2...id.#29481436)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 29th, 2015 11:16 PM
Author: Purple bipolar crotch indian lodge

Xo

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3082672&forum_id=2...id.#29481600)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 30th, 2015 12:58 AM
Author: saffron organic girlfriend dysfunction

chaturbate

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3082672&forum_id=2...id.#29482189)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 29th, 2015 10:31 PM
Author: Adventurous unhinged codepig area

C!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3082672&forum_id=2...id.#29481291)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 29th, 2015 10:51 PM
Author: Adventurous unhinged codepig area

NEXT CHAPTER

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3082672&forum_id=2...id.#29481403)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 29th, 2015 11:00 PM
Author: Plum Marvelous Legend

everyone in this thread unzips.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3082672&forum_id=2...id.#29481469)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 29th, 2015 11:15 PM
Author: orchid voyeur



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3082672&forum_id=2...id.#29481596)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 29th, 2015 11:14 PM
Author: Purple bipolar crotch indian lodge



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3082672&forum_id=2...id.#29481589)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 29th, 2015 11:33 PM
Author: twinkling space

Did they turn off Snailmo's electricity?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3082672&forum_id=2...id.#29481713)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 29th, 2015 11:39 PM
Author: Fiercely-loyal Maroon Wagecucks

no, i think he found a job, and a girlfriend

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3082672&forum_id=2...id.#29481748)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 30th, 2015 12:41 AM
Author: Razzmatazz Dull Theater

lol ouch

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3082672&forum_id=2...id.#29482097)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 29th, 2015 11:47 PM
Author: stirring school

he is busy doing tinychat

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3082672&forum_id=2...id.#29481804)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 30th, 2015 12:38 AM
Author: burgundy office



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3082672&forum_id=2...id.#29482070)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 30th, 2015 12:39 AM
Author: orchid voyeur



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3082672&forum_id=2...id.#29482079)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 30th, 2015 12:40 AM
Author: lascivious locus

Topic has amazing potential.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3082672&forum_id=2...id.#29482091)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 30th, 2015 1:01 AM
Author: 180 mahogany keepsake machete

You log into chaturbate in order to watch a session of some dude that you've been following since you found his pictures on a /pol/ thread describing how DEGENERATE transexuals are. JFC shitlibs are really disgusting just trying to shove all of this trans shit down our throat. fuck Obama, we should drag out all media FAGGOTS from their home like that 180000 scene in the Dark Knight Arises where Bane39 takes over Gotham.

You shovel turkey chili in your mouth and you can't help stop thinking about Benzo's asshole and retching, so you put it away for a bit.

Instead, you decide to FURIOUSLY stroke your SPERMWYRM to the long-haired crossdresser on the stream as he seductively WIGGLES his puckered BUTTHOLE.

It is enjoyable and you can see the light at the end of the tunnel, until something horrifying pops out of his shirt. He has BREASTS now. Your wyrm reddens and shrinkens as you realize that he is now identifying as a "she" and has become taking hormones. In disgust, you throw off your Beats!(tm) headphones (they were a gift) and close the window. You zip up your pants angrily as yet another fine day RUINED by libs.

You decide to research more possible career paths that you will never accomplish while you finish your chili. What do you research?

1) Military

2) Police

3) Education

4) Computer Science

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3082672&forum_id=2...id.#29482203)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 30th, 2015 1:03 AM
Author: Razzmatazz Dull Theater

2

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3082672&forum_id=2...id.#29482210)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 30th, 2015 1:03 AM
Author: lascivious locus

I choose 2, sounds like a great opportunity to bash BOOMER scum.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3082672&forum_id=2...id.#29482211)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 30th, 2015 1:08 AM
Author: saffron organic girlfriend dysfunction

police

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3082672&forum_id=2...id.#29482227)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 30th, 2015 1:09 AM
Author: ivory sneaky criminal

1

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3082672&forum_id=2...id.#29482232)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 30th, 2015 1:49 AM
Author: Purple bipolar crotch indian lodge

lol r u like a genderfuluid snail or sth

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3082672&forum_id=2...id.#29482337)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 2nd, 2016 2:50 PM
Author: Purple bipolar crotch indian lodge



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3082672&forum_id=2...id.#29505583)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 30th, 2015 2:02 AM
Author: twinkling space

4 and 180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3082672&forum_id=2...id.#29482377)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 30th, 2015 11:26 AM
Author: twinkling space

Wake up and post please.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3082672&forum_id=2...id.#29483717)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 30th, 2015 11:10 PM
Author: Purple bipolar crotch indian lodge



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3082672&forum_id=2...id.#29488970)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 11th, 2016 10:55 AM
Author: iridescent gas station faggotry

18000000000000000000000000000000000

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3082672&forum_id=2...id.#29570485)



Reply Favorite

Date: November 5th, 2020 8:16 AM
Author: Diverse hateful nowag



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3082672&forum_id=2...id.#41284039)



Reply Favorite

Date: November 5th, 2020 8:22 AM
Author: Topaz whorehouse friendly grandma

next chapter please!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3082672&forum_id=2...id.#41284068)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 13th, 2025 2:14 AM
Author: bungulator



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3082672&forum_id=2...id.#49506318)



Reply Favorite

Date: November 5th, 2020 8:34 AM
Author: Narrow-minded carmine hall fortuitous meteor



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3082672&forum_id=2...id.#41284137)