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Twas the Night Before Christmas (Peterman version)

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the J ...
slate zippy nursing home
  12/03/18
...
slate zippy nursing home
  12/03/18
TLDR but clearly you spent a lot of time on this, plz enjoy ...
laughsome heaven main people
  12/03/18
ty!
slate zippy nursing home
  12/03/18
jfc, this was 180. This is why I continue to visit this d...
apoplectic friendly grandma library
  12/03/18
...
Know-it-all Mind-boggling Halford Hall
  12/24/21
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Brindle medicated codepig field
  12/03/18
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  12/03/18
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apoplectic friendly grandma library
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  12/07/18
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Heady talking pozpig
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Ungodly blathering locale hairy legs
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Charismatic Anal Weed Whacker
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slate zippy nursing home
  12/14/18
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angry deer antler
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slate zippy nursing home
  12/24/18
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Brindle medicated codepig field
  12/24/18
...
wild olive legal warrant associate
  12/24/18
To be fair, What—a Jew lampooning Christmas in a vu...
buck-toothed mediation place of business
  12/24/18
120
galvanic antidepressant drug
  12/24/18
...
slate zippy nursing home
  12/24/18
...
galvanic antidepressant drug
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Fluffy razzle-dazzle dilemma
  12/24/18
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slate zippy nursing home
  12/24/18
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shaky senate chad
  12/24/18
Artistic gold tyvmft
Bistre Fantasy-prone Organic Girlfriend Degenerate
  12/24/18
...
slate zippy nursing home
  12/16/21
...
sable goal in life immigrant
  12/24/18
...
Infuriating Domesticated Site Double Fault
  12/24/18
this was pretty good, nice work
Sadistic Stock Car
  12/24/18
~*Christmas in July bump*~
slate zippy nursing home
  07/01/19
...
Brindle medicated codepig field
  07/01/19
...
Brindle medicated codepig field
  07/01/19
Early December Bump
slate zippy nursing home
  12/10/19
getting close...
slate zippy nursing home
  12/20/19
ding ding ding
slate zippy nursing home
  12/24/19
...
Aqua Trump Supporter
  12/24/19
...
slate zippy nursing home
  12/24/19
...
turquoise diverse base
  12/24/19
This deserves more bumps.
Supple shimmering mad-dog skullcap
  12/24/19
...
doobsian flesh dragon keepsake machete
  12/24/19
lost it at 8 tiny trans queers. still unmitigated 180
Bistre Fantasy-prone Organic Girlfriend Degenerate
  12/24/19
lol
slate zippy nursing home
  12/24/19
This
Know-it-all Mind-boggling Halford Hall
  12/24/21
Missed this the first time. Great work dude. 180
burgundy prole background story
  12/24/19
ty, labor of love
slate zippy nursing home
  12/24/19
...
electric spruce queen of the night
  12/24/19
...
slate zippy nursing home
  12/24/19
lube up your chimneys!
slate zippy nursing home
  12/24/19
pure gold 180
Know-it-all Mind-boggling Halford Hall
  12/24/19
...
slate zippy nursing home
  12/24/19
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razzle ruby international law enforcement agency
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slate zippy nursing home
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slate zippy nursing home
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thriller mahogany church building puppy
  12/24/20
It's time.
slate zippy nursing home
  12/24/20
...
Ungodly blathering locale hairy legs
  12/24/20
...
slate zippy nursing home
  12/16/21
...
Fluffy razzle-dazzle dilemma
  12/16/21
...
thriller mahogany church building puppy
  12/16/21
Chri$tmas $pirit
slate zippy nursing home
  12/20/21
Lmao
Adventurous Business Firm
  12/20/21
...
slate zippy nursing home
  12/22/21
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Adventurous Business Firm
  12/22/21
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judgmental vengeful rigor
  12/24/21
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Know-it-all Mind-boggling Halford Hall
  12/25/23
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grown men with poopy butt cracks
  12/25/25
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nude butt cheeks
  12/25/25
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constantscreen the great
  12/25/25


Poast new message in this thread



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 12:45 PM
Author: slate zippy nursing home

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the J

Lots of truckers were hungry, much like any old day;

The rig pigs were hung, taking dick pics with care,

In hopes that St. Peterman soon would be there;

The truckers were horny, dicks throbbing and red ,

While visions of Peter’s plums danced in their heads;

And Earl in his 'kerchief, and I in my cap,

Had just settled down longing for Peterman’s gap,

When out on the lot there arose such a clatter,

I sprang from the truck to see what was the matter.

Away to the lot I flew like a flash,

Tore open my zipper in hope of fresh gash.

The moon on the breast of the softly lit J

Made the lot lizards glow, all looking to play,

When, what to my wandering eyes should appear,

But a beady-eyed Peterman, and eight tiny trans-queers,

With a little old driver, so lively and quick,

I knew in a moment this night would be sick.

More rapid than eagles out their trousers they came,

And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;

"Now, FLASHER! now, DANCER! now, PRANCER and VIXEN!

On, ROCKET ! on CUPID! on, BONER and SHITZEN!

To the back of the truck! to the top of the wall!

Now suck away! suck away! fuck away all!"

As lubed holes that before the wild hurricane fly,

When they meet with a cock, were mounted to the sky,

So up to the truck-stops the trans-queers they flew,

With the sleigh full of boys, and St. Peterman too.

And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof

The prancing and pawing of each little poof.

As he jerked with his hand, and was turning around,

“Stuff my chimney!” said St. Peterman on the ground.

He was dressed all in latex, from his head to his foot,

His knees were all tarnished with ashes and soot;

A bundle of dildos he had flung on his back,

And he looked like a peddler just lifting his sac.

His eyes -- how they twinkled! his dimples how merry!

His cheeks were like roses, his boihole like a cherry!

His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,

And the beard of his chin had cum white as snow;

The stump of my pipe he held tight in his teeth,

And his lips did encircle its head like a wreath;

He had a broad face and a little round belly,

His broad backside shook like a bowlful of jelly.

He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,

And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself;

A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,

Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread;

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,

We filled all their “stockings” and had circle jerks,

And laying his finger aside of his nose,

A huge snort of cocaine billowed up and rose;

Then he sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,

And away they all pranced like the down of a thistle.

But I heard him exclaim, as he drove out of sight,

"HAPPY CHRISTMAS TO ALL, CASH AND CHECKS ARE ALL-RIGHT!"

Happy December, Merry Christmas & Happy New Year.

Upset Jew, 12-03-2018



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#37342568)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:00 PM
Author: slate zippy nursing home



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#37343357)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:04 PM
Author: laughsome heaven main people

TLDR but clearly you spent a lot of time on this, plz enjoy this pity bump as my Chanukah present to you

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#37343380)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:10 PM
Author: slate zippy nursing home

ty!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#37343413)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:16 PM
Author: apoplectic friendly grandma library

jfc, this was 180.

This is why I continue to visit this demented chatbort.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#37343471)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2021 4:53 PM
Author: Know-it-all Mind-boggling Halford Hall



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#43670143)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:17 PM
Author: Brindle medicated codepig field



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#37343477)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:18 PM
Author: tripping hissy fit sweet tailpipe



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#37343484)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:22 PM
Author: cream abode



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#37343509)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:22 PM
Author: lascivious rebellious shitlib



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#37343515)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:26 PM
Author: apoplectic friendly grandma library



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#37343539)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:35 AM
Author: slate zippy nursing home



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#37367063)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:39 AM
Author: Heady talking pozpig



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#37367091)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:50 AM
Author: Ungodly blathering locale hairy legs



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#37367151)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:52 AM
Author: Crusty indecent karate den



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#37367159)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:55 AM
Author: Charismatic Anal Weed Whacker



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#37367178)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 14th, 2018 12:12 PM
Author: slate zippy nursing home



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#37407273)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 14th, 2018 12:15 PM
Author: angry deer antler



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#37407292)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:40 AM
Author: slate zippy nursing home



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#37462610)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:40 AM
Author: Brindle medicated codepig field



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#37462612)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:41 AM
Author: wild olive legal warrant associate



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#37462615)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:44 AM
Author: buck-toothed mediation place of business

To be fair,

What—a Jew lampooning Christmas in a vulgar and sexually explicit manner for “laughs”? Why I’ve never

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#37462619)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:52 AM
Author: galvanic antidepressant drug

120

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#37462646)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 7:44 PM
Author: slate zippy nursing home



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#37465688)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:47 AM
Author: galvanic antidepressant drug



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#37462629)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:54 AM
Author: Fluffy razzle-dazzle dilemma



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#37462649)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:46 AM
Author: slate zippy nursing home



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#37462815)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:02 PM
Author: shaky senate chad



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#37465757)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:27 PM
Author: Bistre Fantasy-prone Organic Girlfriend Degenerate

Artistic gold tyvmft

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#37466002)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 12:45 PM
Author: slate zippy nursing home



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#43619656)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:30 PM
Author: sable goal in life immigrant



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#37466012)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:35 PM
Author: Infuriating Domesticated Site Double Fault



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#37466032)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:38 PM
Author: Sadistic Stock Car

this was pretty good, nice work

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#37466049)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 1st, 2019 5:53 PM
Author: slate zippy nursing home

~*Christmas in July bump*~

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#38469719)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 1st, 2019 5:53 PM
Author: Brindle medicated codepig field



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#38469721)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 1st, 2019 5:53 PM
Author: Brindle medicated codepig field



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#38469720)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 10th, 2019 9:37 AM
Author: slate zippy nursing home

Early December Bump

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#39241607)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 20th, 2019 12:21 PM
Author: slate zippy nursing home

getting close...

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#39297740)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 12:18 AM
Author: slate zippy nursing home

ding ding ding

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#39316620)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 12:38 AM
Author: Aqua Trump Supporter



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#39316668)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 8:42 AM
Author: slate zippy nursing home



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#39317383)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 8:49 AM
Author: turquoise diverse base



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#39317409)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 8:52 AM
Author: Supple shimmering mad-dog skullcap

This deserves more bumps.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#39317415)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 9:07 AM
Author: doobsian flesh dragon keepsake machete



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#39317493)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 9:14 AM
Author: Bistre Fantasy-prone Organic Girlfriend Degenerate

lost it at 8 tiny trans queers. still unmitigated 180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#39317523)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 10:57 AM
Author: slate zippy nursing home

lol

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#39318060)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2021 4:54 PM
Author: Know-it-all Mind-boggling Halford Hall

This

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#43670148)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 9:30 AM
Author: burgundy prole background story

Missed this the first time. Great work dude.

180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#39317610)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 10:58 AM
Author: slate zippy nursing home

ty, labor of love

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#39318062)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 11:02 AM
Author: electric spruce queen of the night



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#39318085)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 11:51 AM
Author: slate zippy nursing home



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#39318318)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 1:48 PM
Author: slate zippy nursing home

lube up your chimneys!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#39318901)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 4:19 PM
Author: Know-it-all Mind-boggling Halford Hall

pure gold 180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#39319682)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 5:57 PM
Author: slate zippy nursing home



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#39320155)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 4:29 PM
Author: razzle ruby international law enforcement agency



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#39319749)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 15th, 2020 2:54 PM
Author: slate zippy nursing home



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#41553760)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 23rd, 2020 1:37 PM
Author: slate zippy nursing home



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#41603653)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2020 8:07 AM
Author: thriller mahogany church building puppy



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#41608882)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2020 1:14 PM
Author: slate zippy nursing home

It's time.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#41610330)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2020 1:19 PM
Author: Ungodly blathering locale hairy legs



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#41610375)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 10:44 AM
Author: slate zippy nursing home



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#43618689)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 11:32 AM
Author: Fluffy razzle-dazzle dilemma



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#43619119)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 11:34 AM
Author: thriller mahogany church building puppy



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#43619130)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 20th, 2021 12:21 PM
Author: slate zippy nursing home

Chri$tmas $pirit

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#43643241)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 20th, 2021 12:27 PM
Author: Adventurous Business Firm

Lmao

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#43643299)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 22nd, 2021 5:59 PM
Author: slate zippy nursing home



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#43658914)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 22nd, 2021 6:53 PM
Author: Adventurous Business Firm



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#43659259)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2021 4:49 PM
Author: judgmental vengeful rigor



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#43670127)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 25th, 2023 11:04 AM
Author: Know-it-all Mind-boggling Halford Hall



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#47211358)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 25th, 2025 2:14 AM
Author: grown men with poopy butt cracks



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#49538706)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 25th, 2025 8:10 AM
Author: nude butt cheeks (✅🍑)



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#49538932)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 25th, 2025 8:14 AM
Author: constantscreen the great



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#49538935)