Sometimes I pull them out like old photos, reread them all. Try to relive what it felt like opening them at 18. The dreams of prestige, high paying jobs, sitting next to smart, hot girls who actually wanted to be there. The iconic buildings, the brilliant minds, the overachievers. All of it blown apart by seven nearly identical letters with the same recycled line: "It is painful to us that we must turn away so many superbly talented students." Fuck that shit.

Why did I save them? Why do I still pull them out every year? Why do I still feel that gut punch nearly three decades later? Why did I cry about it at 41?

Fuck universities. Fuck admissions. Fuck the obscene tuition and the fake promises.

I'm glad I didn't get in--except I'm not. I still ended up in a stupid-ass corporate job, wagecucking my way through my 20s, 30s, and now 40s. Would an Ivy League name have changed anything? Probably not. I'd have less money saved and would've dropped the bomb a few times just for the ego boost.

I met dumber girls, but hotter ones. Made some decent money. But that pride--the one Ivy grads carry for life, that part never came.

And yeah, it still fucking eats at me. I'll always be an ivy reject.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5770124&forum_id=2...id.#49238897)