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PROTIP: use "Websters dictionary defines..." to start ur closing

It has a reputation now as this hackneyed expression, which ...
Stirring blood rage property
  04/24/15
...
vivacious very tactful house stain
  04/24/15
...
Green police squad brethren
  04/24/15
...
wonderful mood
  04/24/15
did this today
amethyst crusty knife
  10/22/15
"A lot changed on 9/11..."
rose box office juggernaut
  10/22/15
(guy who wrote a great college essay)
nudist therapy lettuce
  10/22/15
"Ladies and gentlemen of the jury..." *briefcase f...
Vigorous locus pocket flask
  10/22/15
...
razzle orange pit
  10/22/15
...
insane church sneaky criminal
  10/08/25
(high school debate semifinalist)
internet-worthy coiffed alpha
  10/22/15
...
Stirring blood rage property
  05/16/16
who the fuck was webster
Walnut Hall
  05/16/16
Noah Webster. Just some autistic bro who really liked words
Stirring blood rage property
  05/16/16
whats his moniker
Walnut Hall
  05/16/16
CharlesXII
Stirring blood rage property
  05/16/16
...
Submissive Abusive Depressive
  12/28/16
180 advice it will hit the jury like some sort of heavy book...
amber chapel
  12/28/16
"Urban dictionary defines 'STAY WOKE' as . . . "
Chestnut marvelous background story
  12/28/16
...
Submissive Abusive Depressive
  11/11/20
...
sinister national degenerate
  07/26/24
...
Shimmering mischievous library ape
  10/08/25
...
hours-hungry BILLPIG
  11/09/25


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Reply Favorite

Date: April 24th, 2015 2:57 PM
Author: Stirring blood rage property

It has a reputation now as this hackneyed expression, which is why it WORKS. The jury always perks up because it's so unexpected. Also it frames the issue very clearly: this is the plain definition, here are the facts, the facts don't match the accusation, acquittal. I literally bring a well-worn old dictionary and thump it onto the jury railing.

Prosecutors get flustered as FUCK and end up reacting to me rather than making their own case, and it makes them look gay as hell. They smirk or scoff, which makes them look like douches. They usually take time in their own closings to say something about "the defense counsel's old tricks and theatrics" but that just reminds the jury even more.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2E#27751704)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 24th, 2015 3:13 PM
Author: vivacious very tactful house stain



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2E#27751815)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 24th, 2015 3:17 PM
Author: Green police squad brethren



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2E#27751846)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 24th, 2015 3:26 PM
Author: wonderful mood



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2E#27751921)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 22nd, 2015 1:59 PM
Author: amethyst crusty knife

did this today

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2E#29022119)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 22nd, 2015 3:23 PM
Author: rose box office juggernaut

"A lot changed on 9/11..."

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2E#29022597)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 22nd, 2015 3:24 PM
Author: nudist therapy lettuce

(guy who wrote a great college essay)

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2E#29022604)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 22nd, 2015 3:25 PM
Author: Vigorous locus pocket flask

"Ladies and gentlemen of the jury..." *briefcase full of dictionaries falls open*

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2E#29022609)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 22nd, 2015 3:31 PM
Author: razzle orange pit



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2E#29022646)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 8th, 2025 8:52 PM
Author: insane church sneaky criminal



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2E#49335488)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 22nd, 2015 3:33 PM
Author: internet-worthy coiffed alpha

(high school debate semifinalist)

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2E#29022657)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 16th, 2016 7:19 PM
Author: Stirring blood rage property



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2E#30492581)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 16th, 2016 7:20 PM
Author: Walnut Hall

who the fuck was webster

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2E#30492585)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 16th, 2016 7:25 PM
Author: Stirring blood rage property

Noah Webster. Just some autistic bro who really liked words

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2E#30492630)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 16th, 2016 7:27 PM
Author: Walnut Hall

whats his moniker

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2E#30492644)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 16th, 2016 7:37 PM
Author: Stirring blood rage property

CharlesXII

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2E#30492706)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 28th, 2016 5:17 PM
Author: Submissive Abusive Depressive



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2E#32250208)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 28th, 2016 5:18 PM
Author: amber chapel

180 advice it will hit the jury like some sort of heavy book!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2E#32250216)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 28th, 2016 5:20 PM
Author: Chestnut marvelous background story

"Urban dictionary defines 'STAY WOKE' as . . . "

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2E#32250229)



Reply Favorite

Date: November 11th, 2020 11:38 PM
Author: Submissive Abusive Depressive



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2E#41347456)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 26th, 2024 1:08 PM
Author: sinister national degenerate



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2E#47895234)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 8th, 2025 8:51 PM
Author: Shimmering mischievous library ape



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2E#49335487)



Reply Favorite

Date: November 9th, 2025 11:23 AM
Author: hours-hungry BILLPIG



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2E#49414142)