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PROTIP: use "Websters dictionary defines..." to start ur closing

It has a reputation now as this hackneyed expression, which ...
aphrodisiac space
  04/24/15
...
flesh abode factory reset button
  04/24/15
...
White nudist property
  04/24/15
...
Arousing meetinghouse sound barrier
  04/24/15
did this today
Bearded principal's office sweet tailpipe
  10/22/15
"A lot changed on 9/11..."
racy partner
  10/22/15
(guy who wrote a great college essay)
ivory irate ratface
  10/22/15
"Ladies and gentlemen of the jury..." *briefcase f...
multi-colored balding travel guidebook
  10/22/15
...
apoplectic son of senegal weed whacker
  10/22/15
...
bipolar jade kitty pervert
  10/08/25
(high school debate semifinalist)
razzle-dazzle ceo
  10/22/15
...
aphrodisiac space
  05/16/16
who the fuck was webster
Vigorous milky casino background story
  05/16/16
Noah Webster. Just some autistic bro who really liked words
aphrodisiac space
  05/16/16
whats his moniker
Vigorous milky casino background story
  05/16/16
CharlesXII
aphrodisiac space
  05/16/16
...
Laughsome boiling water
  12/28/16
180 advice it will hit the jury like some sort of heavy book...
At-the-ready flirting scourge upon the earth
  12/28/16
"Urban dictionary defines 'STAY WOKE' as . . . "
vivacious toaster
  12/28/16
...
Laughsome boiling water
  11/11/20
...
carmine hairy legs
  07/26/24
...
lascivious market sandwich
  10/08/25
...
MAHA Movement
  11/09/25


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Reply Favorite

Date: April 24th, 2015 2:57 PM
Author: aphrodisiac space

It has a reputation now as this hackneyed expression, which is why it WORKS. The jury always perks up because it's so unexpected. Also it frames the issue very clearly: this is the plain definition, here are the facts, the facts don't match the accusation, acquittal. I literally bring a well-worn old dictionary and thump it onto the jury railing.

Prosecutors get flustered as FUCK and end up reacting to me rather than making their own case, and it makes them look gay as hell. They smirk or scoff, which makes them look like douches. They usually take time in their own closings to say something about "the defense counsel's old tricks and theatrics" but that just reminds the jury even more.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2Reputation#27751704)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 24th, 2015 3:13 PM
Author: flesh abode factory reset button



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2Reputation#27751815)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 24th, 2015 3:17 PM
Author: White nudist property



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2Reputation#27751846)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 24th, 2015 3:26 PM
Author: Arousing meetinghouse sound barrier



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2Reputation#27751921)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 22nd, 2015 1:59 PM
Author: Bearded principal's office sweet tailpipe

did this today

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2Reputation#29022119)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 22nd, 2015 3:23 PM
Author: racy partner

"A lot changed on 9/11..."

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2Reputation#29022597)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 22nd, 2015 3:24 PM
Author: ivory irate ratface

(guy who wrote a great college essay)

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2Reputation#29022604)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 22nd, 2015 3:25 PM
Author: multi-colored balding travel guidebook

"Ladies and gentlemen of the jury..." *briefcase full of dictionaries falls open*

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2Reputation#29022609)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 22nd, 2015 3:31 PM
Author: apoplectic son of senegal weed whacker



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2Reputation#29022646)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 8th, 2025 8:52 PM
Author: bipolar jade kitty pervert



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2Reputation#49335488)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 22nd, 2015 3:33 PM
Author: razzle-dazzle ceo

(high school debate semifinalist)

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2Reputation#29022657)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 16th, 2016 7:19 PM
Author: aphrodisiac space



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2Reputation#30492581)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 16th, 2016 7:20 PM
Author: Vigorous milky casino background story

who the fuck was webster

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2Reputation#30492585)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 16th, 2016 7:25 PM
Author: aphrodisiac space

Noah Webster. Just some autistic bro who really liked words

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2Reputation#30492630)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 16th, 2016 7:27 PM
Author: Vigorous milky casino background story

whats his moniker

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2Reputation#30492644)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 16th, 2016 7:37 PM
Author: aphrodisiac space

CharlesXII

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2Reputation#30492706)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 28th, 2016 5:17 PM
Author: Laughsome boiling water



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2Reputation#32250208)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 28th, 2016 5:18 PM
Author: At-the-ready flirting scourge upon the earth

180 advice it will hit the jury like some sort of heavy book!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2Reputation#32250216)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 28th, 2016 5:20 PM
Author: vivacious toaster

"Urban dictionary defines 'STAY WOKE' as . . . "

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2Reputation#32250229)



Reply Favorite

Date: November 11th, 2020 11:38 PM
Author: Laughsome boiling water



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2Reputation#41347456)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 26th, 2024 1:08 PM
Author: carmine hairy legs



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2Reputation#47895234)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 8th, 2025 8:51 PM
Author: lascivious market sandwich



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2Reputation#49335487)



Reply Favorite

Date: November 9th, 2025 11:23 AM
Author: MAHA Movement



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2Reputation#49414142)