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PROTIP: use "Websters dictionary defines..." to start ur closing

It has a reputation now as this hackneyed expression, which ...
lake vibrant spot
  04/24/15
...
Disrespectful motley digit ratio community account
  04/24/15
...
Rusted vivacious useless brakes
  04/24/15
...
domesticated hairraiser mother
  04/24/15
did this today
Violent Territorial National
  10/22/15
"A lot changed on 9/11..."
Wonderful stock car
  10/22/15
(guy who wrote a great college essay)
white bisexual trailer park nowag
  10/22/15
"Ladies and gentlemen of the jury..." *briefcase f...
transparent bearded really tough guy address
  10/22/15
...
mind-boggling wine associate sanctuary
  10/22/15
...
click on a b*tch
  10/08/25
(high school debate semifinalist)
zippy ticket booth
  10/22/15
...
lake vibrant spot
  05/16/16
who the fuck was webster
brass exhilarant milk
  05/16/16
Noah Webster. Just some autistic bro who really liked words
lake vibrant spot
  05/16/16
whats his moniker
brass exhilarant milk
  05/16/16
CharlesXII
lake vibrant spot
  05/16/16
...
Lascivious double fault market
  12/28/16
180 advice it will hit the jury like some sort of heavy book...
olive center weed whacker
  12/28/16
"Urban dictionary defines 'STAY WOKE' as . . . "
floppy twinkling uncleanness
  12/28/16
...
Lascivious double fault market
  11/11/20
...
Curious Ladyboy Theater
  07/26/24
...
Paralegal Adolf Hitler
  10/08/25


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Reply Favorite

Date: April 24th, 2015 2:57 PM
Author: lake vibrant spot

It has a reputation now as this hackneyed expression, which is why it WORKS. The jury always perks up because it's so unexpected. Also it frames the issue very clearly: this is the plain definition, here are the facts, the facts don't match the accusation, acquittal. I literally bring a well-worn old dictionary and thump it onto the jury railing.

Prosecutors get flustered as FUCK and end up reacting to me rather than making their own case, and it makes them look gay as hell. They smirk or scoff, which makes them look like douches. They usually take time in their own closings to say something about "the defense counsel's old tricks and theatrics" but that just reminds the jury even more.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2Reputation#27751704)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 24th, 2015 3:13 PM
Author: Disrespectful motley digit ratio community account



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2Reputation#27751815)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 24th, 2015 3:17 PM
Author: Rusted vivacious useless brakes



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2Reputation#27751846)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 24th, 2015 3:26 PM
Author: domesticated hairraiser mother



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2Reputation#27751921)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 22nd, 2015 1:59 PM
Author: Violent Territorial National

did this today

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2Reputation#29022119)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 22nd, 2015 3:23 PM
Author: Wonderful stock car

"A lot changed on 9/11..."

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2Reputation#29022597)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 22nd, 2015 3:24 PM
Author: white bisexual trailer park nowag

(guy who wrote a great college essay)

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2Reputation#29022604)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 22nd, 2015 3:25 PM
Author: transparent bearded really tough guy address

"Ladies and gentlemen of the jury..." *briefcase full of dictionaries falls open*

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2Reputation#29022609)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 22nd, 2015 3:31 PM
Author: mind-boggling wine associate sanctuary



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2Reputation#29022646)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 8th, 2025 8:52 PM
Author: click on a b*tch (2 make yer heart skip)



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2Reputation#49335488)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 22nd, 2015 3:33 PM
Author: zippy ticket booth

(high school debate semifinalist)

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2Reputation#29022657)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 16th, 2016 7:19 PM
Author: lake vibrant spot



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2Reputation#30492581)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 16th, 2016 7:20 PM
Author: brass exhilarant milk

who the fuck was webster

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2Reputation#30492585)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 16th, 2016 7:25 PM
Author: lake vibrant spot

Noah Webster. Just some autistic bro who really liked words

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2Reputation#30492630)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 16th, 2016 7:27 PM
Author: brass exhilarant milk

whats his moniker

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2Reputation#30492644)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 16th, 2016 7:37 PM
Author: lake vibrant spot

CharlesXII

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2Reputation#30492706)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 28th, 2016 5:17 PM
Author: Lascivious double fault market



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2Reputation#32250208)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 28th, 2016 5:18 PM
Author: olive center weed whacker

180 advice it will hit the jury like some sort of heavy book!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2Reputation#32250216)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 28th, 2016 5:20 PM
Author: floppy twinkling uncleanness

"Urban dictionary defines 'STAY WOKE' as . . . "

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2Reputation#32250229)



Reply Favorite

Date: November 11th, 2020 11:38 PM
Author: Lascivious double fault market



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2Reputation#41347456)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 26th, 2024 1:08 PM
Author: Curious Ladyboy Theater



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2Reputation#47895234)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 8th, 2025 8:51 PM
Author: Paralegal Adolf Hitler (✅🍑)



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2Reputation#49335487)