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very sad (or sick!) to see shitlib women furiously masturbate to Handmaid's Tale

ohhhhh i can't believe how timely this is what a warning to ...
Peach arousing windowlicker orchestra pit
  04/30/18
lmfao
beady-eyed narrow-minded old irish cottage
  04/30/18
Its like some William Faulkner level stream of conciousness
Contagious Brindle Indian Lodge Preventive Strike
  04/30/18
...
Marvelous Cream Home
  06/09/19
...
supple magical roommate rehab
  10/13/20
...
gold hospital
  10/28/21
...
Bateful wild hell
  04/30/18
...
Sepia metal stead striped hyena
  04/30/18
WOKE AS FUK
Titillating Potus
  04/30/18
...
seedy lilac dysfunction
  06/24/18
this is scholarship of the highest order. you are now Sir Ri...
puce big shrine
  06/24/18
...
180 carnelian mother church building
  06/24/18
...
aromatic clear karate
  06/24/18
...
stimulating gunner patrolman
  10/28/21
180 Joyce
diverse principal's office fanboi
  06/24/18
unadulterated 180
heady cuckoldry
  06/24/18
...
at-the-ready theatre
  06/24/18
...
Bull Headed Trump Supporter
  06/24/18
"Binders full of women" in latest episode not flam...
Peach arousing windowlicker orchestra pit
  06/09/19
YUP. It’s like they got bored of Trump references (...
Marvelous Cream Home
  06/09/19
...
Mischievous Multi-billionaire
  06/09/19
this OP is seriously a masterpiece
beady-eyed narrow-minded old irish cottage
  06/09/19
...
supple magical roommate rehab
  06/09/19
...
supple magical roommate rehab
  12/01/21
...
DrakeMallardxo
  08/24/25
i'm guessing OP's name IRL is jonah
sable base
  06/09/19
this has aged exceedingly well
heady cuckoldry
  06/09/19
...
Marvelous Cream Home
  06/09/19
...
supple magical roommate rehab
  06/10/19
...
soul-stirring talking den mood
  06/10/19
you're playing to your audience, fine, but this is clearly w...
Violet Jew Library
  06/10/19
cr. "cock," "pound." but sometimes u ju...
Concupiscible Confused Trust Fund Sanctuary
  06/10/19
pure praise would mean his talent has nowhere else to go her...
Violet Jew Library
  06/10/19
...
supple magical roommate rehab
  06/10/19
18000
Vengeful Exhilarant Nursing Home
  06/10/19
megan mcardle i think had a good column on how ridiculous th...
transparent regret doctorate
  06/10/19
John Dolan wrote the GOAT POTUS review... twenty years ago. ...
Adulterous appetizing kitty cat menage
  06/10/19
Holy shit, this is great "Handmaid’s Tale is mea...
laughsome self-absorbed chapel place of business
  06/10/19
also lol @ VCR.
Adulterous appetizing kitty cat menage
  06/10/19
This was written in 2000, but it fits in seamlessly with xo ...
laughsome self-absorbed chapel place of business
  06/10/19
This guy is an XO Ted level visionary
soul-stirring talking den mood
  06/10/19
...
Vigorous new version
  06/10/19
...
soul-stirring talking den mood
  06/10/19
lol, whoa
Vigorous new version
  06/10/19
holy shit "And in the meantime, what has Atwood&rsqu...
Vigorous new version
  06/10/19
...
supple magical roommate rehab
  06/10/19
...
soul-stirring talking den mood
  06/10/19
whoa cr
stubborn mint fortuitous meteor garrison
  06/10/19
...
learning disabled cerebral hall
  06/10/19
this is an amazing article
Concupiscible Confused Trust Fund Sanctuary
  01/23/20
!!!
stimulating gunner patrolman
  10/28/21
"wretched office-worker who goes home to a cat" ...
snowy legend
  06/10/19
...
learning disabled cerebral hall
  06/10/19
“No one wants to force middle-class American women to ...
soul-stirring talking den mood
  06/10/19
The eXile was an early dose of REDPILL for me even though th...
Adulterous appetizing kitty cat menage
  06/10/19
...
Vigorous new version
  06/10/19
whoah
Concupiscible Confused Trust Fund Sanctuary
  06/10/19
...
dead station wrinkle
  06/10/19
holy shit
stubborn mint fortuitous meteor garrison
  06/10/19
holy fuck
beady-eyed narrow-minded old irish cottage
  06/10/19
Cot damn
supple magical roommate rehab
  06/10/19
...
milky mexican school cafeteria
  05/09/21
!!!
stimulating gunner patrolman
  10/28/21
this is scholarship
Floppy embarrassed to the bone affirmative action corner
  10/24/24
fatality
Ocher market
  06/10/19
...
Mischievous Multi-billionaire
  06/10/19
Does this guy have any thoughts on MAGA?
Marvelous Cream Home
  06/15/19
...
Idiotic juggernaut parlour
  10/28/21
...
stimulating gunner patrolman
  10/28/21
this is so damn good I'm copy pasting the whole thing: THE ...
Idiotic juggernaut parlour
  10/28/21
Lmao is this really the story of the show?
Sick chad
  06/10/19
...
diverse principal's office fanboi
  06/10/19
...
crusty set
  06/10/19
...
spectacular crackhouse immigrant
  06/10/19
...
supple magical roommate rehab
  01/23/20
...
Mischievous Multi-billionaire
  01/23/20
...
ultramarine drunken field
  01/23/20
...
supple magical roommate rehab
  12/01/21
...
stubborn mint fortuitous meteor garrison
  12/01/21
...
Orchid codepig spot
  12/01/21
This and the "inside a lady's head" one are like b...
Exciting Piazza Voyeur
  07/01/22
...
Exciting Piazza Voyeur
  10/01/23
...
Exciting Piazza Voyeur
  02/20/24
...
Exciting Piazza Voyeur
  10/24/24


Poast new message in this thread



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2018 11:23 AM
Author: Peach arousing windowlicker orchestra pit

ohhhhh i can't believe how timely this is what a warning to women trying to survive in trump's america so many parallels to modern america i'd never let something like that happen jonah and i already have plans to run away to canada i'd get right in those soldiers faces and tell them they can't oppress my body of course they would try to force me to be a handmaid a very powerful commander would claim me and his wife would not be as hot as me but i'd struggle i'd struggle oh yes even though they would overpower me and he'd ravage me with his big commander cock he'd pound me and pound me and there'd be nothing i could do oh no oh no but i'd scratch and claw except his wife would hold me down that bitch she'd resent me for making him cum in my womb and give him beautiful children he'd sneak me goodies and treats and show me off at jezebels that sick patriarchal bastard but jonah wouldn't be able to find me i'd have to move on and be strong and live for me and my children and eventually i'd seduce the commander so good that he helps me become his real wife and we'd have the power then so i could help people fuck trump for trying to put this in practice pretty much an owners manual for him and pence those fuckers they'll never get to fuck me

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2Reputation#35949672)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2018 11:28 AM
Author: beady-eyed narrow-minded old irish cottage

lmfao

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2Reputation#35949690)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2018 11:30 AM
Author: Contagious Brindle Indian Lodge Preventive Strike

Its like some William Faulkner level stream of conciousness

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2Reputation#35949706)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 9th, 2019 11:28 PM
Author: Marvelous Cream Home



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2Reputation#38365108)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 13th, 2020 12:49 PM
Author: supple magical roommate rehab



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2Reputation#41103220)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 28th, 2021 5:28 AM
Author: gold hospital



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2Reputation#43342786)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2018 11:31 AM
Author: Bateful wild hell



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2Reputation#35949712)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2018 11:33 AM
Author: Sepia metal stead striped hyena



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2Reputation#35949736)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2018 11:35 AM
Author: Titillating Potus

WOKE AS FUK

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2Reputation#35949749)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 24th, 2018 7:47 PM
Author: seedy lilac dysfunction



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2Reputation#36303022)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 24th, 2018 7:48 PM
Author: puce big shrine

this is scholarship of the highest order. you are now Sir Risten.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2Reputation#36303030)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 24th, 2018 7:50 PM
Author: 180 carnelian mother church building



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2Reputation#36303036)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 24th, 2018 7:56 PM
Author: aromatic clear karate



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2Reputation#36303065)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 28th, 2021 12:18 AM
Author: stimulating gunner patrolman



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2Reputation#43342024)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 24th, 2018 7:53 PM
Author: diverse principal's office fanboi

180 Joyce

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2Reputation#36303053)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 24th, 2018 7:57 PM
Author: heady cuckoldry

unadulterated 180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2Reputation#36303071)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 24th, 2018 7:58 PM
Author: at-the-ready theatre



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2Reputation#36303081)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 24th, 2018 8:05 PM
Author: Bull Headed Trump Supporter



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2Reputation#36303131)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 9th, 2019 10:31 PM
Author: Peach arousing windowlicker orchestra pit

"Binders full of women" in latest episode not flame

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2Reputation#38364783)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 9th, 2019 11:29 PM
Author: Marvelous Cream Home

YUP.

It’s like they got bored of Trump references (did you also catch the lesbian refugee demanding not to be separated from the unrelated infant she was carrying?) and so decided to throw in a Romney dig for old time’s sake.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2Reputation#38365120)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 9th, 2019 10:32 PM
Author: Mischievous Multi-billionaire



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2Reputation#38364791)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 9th, 2019 10:36 PM
Author: beady-eyed narrow-minded old irish cottage

this OP is seriously a masterpiece

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2Reputation#38364811)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 9th, 2019 10:40 PM
Author: supple magical roommate rehab



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2Reputation#38364852)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 1st, 2021 2:31 PM
Author: supple magical roommate rehab



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2Reputation#43540325)



Reply Favorite

Date: August 24th, 2025 11:59 AM
Author: DrakeMallardxo (🦆)



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2Reputation#49208954)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 9th, 2019 10:39 PM
Author: sable base

i'm guessing OP's name IRL is jonah

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2Reputation#38364835)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 9th, 2019 10:52 PM
Author: heady cuckoldry

this has aged exceedingly well

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2Reputation#38364924)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 9th, 2019 11:30 PM
Author: Marvelous Cream Home



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2Reputation#38365122)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 10th, 2019 12:01 PM
Author: supple magical roommate rehab



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2Reputation#38366924)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 10th, 2019 3:40 PM
Author: soul-stirring talking den mood



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2Reputation#38368355)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 10th, 2019 12:05 PM
Author: Violet Jew Library

you're playing to your audience, fine, but this is clearly written by a man

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2Reputation#38366957)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 10th, 2019 3:33 PM
Author: Concupiscible Confused Trust Fund Sanctuary

cr. "cock," "pound." but sometimes u just let it slide you know?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2Reputation#38368292)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 10th, 2019 4:34 PM
Author: Violet Jew Library

pure praise would mean his talent has nowhere else to go here

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2Reputation#38368687)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 10th, 2019 3:16 PM
Author: supple magical roommate rehab



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2Reputation#38368206)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 10th, 2019 3:28 PM
Author: Vengeful Exhilarant Nursing Home

18000

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2Reputation#38368272)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 10th, 2019 3:29 PM
Author: transparent regret doctorate

megan mcardle i think had a good column on how ridiculous the handmaid's tale is happening! meme is

https://www.bloomberg.com/opinion/articles/2017-04-25/no-the-handmaid-s-tale-is-not-unexpectedly-timely

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2Reputation#38368275)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 10th, 2019 3:33 PM
Author: Adulterous appetizing kitty cat menage

John Dolan wrote the GOAT POTUS review... twenty years ago.

http://exiledonline.com/old-exile/vault/books/review103.html

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2Reputation#38368294)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 10th, 2019 3:37 PM
Author: laughsome self-absorbed chapel place of business

Holy shit, this is great

"Handmaid’s Tale is meant to reassure every wretched office-worker who goes home to a cat, a VCR, and Pizza-for-one that her life is noble and progressive."

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2Reputation#38368320)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 10th, 2019 3:38 PM
Author: Adulterous appetizing kitty cat menage

also lol @ VCR.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2Reputation#38368327)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 10th, 2019 3:42 PM
Author: laughsome self-absorbed chapel place of business

This was written in 2000, but it fits in seamlessly with xo themes on GC and shrewdom. A true visionary.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2Reputation#38368374)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 10th, 2019 3:47 PM
Author: soul-stirring talking den mood

This guy is an XO Ted level visionary

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2Reputation#38368393)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 10th, 2019 3:48 PM
Author: Vigorous new version



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2Reputation#38368400)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 10th, 2019 3:41 PM
Author: soul-stirring talking den mood



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2Reputation#38368361)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 10th, 2019 3:42 PM
Author: Vigorous new version

lol, whoa

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2Reputation#38368367)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 10th, 2019 3:44 PM
Author: Vigorous new version

holy shit

"And in the meantime, what has Atwood’s Utopia done, in real political terms? It has managed to distract a whole generation of Americanized women from the real fear and awful loneliness of their office lives. In this way, Atwood’s Canada of the Spirit is, like its real-world counterpart, the good-cop tool, the quaking valet of its Vampire master, America. Atwood’s Canada offers no answer to the Americanized women whose only family is Allie MacBeal and her friends. After all, they’re not rednecks, they’re not Fundamentalists. In fact, the horrible lives of every woman who tries to live out Allie MacBeal is rendered noble by reading Handmaid’s Tale. "

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2Reputation#38368382)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 10th, 2019 3:45 PM
Author: supple magical roommate rehab



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2Reputation#38368388)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 10th, 2019 3:46 PM
Author: soul-stirring talking den mood



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2Reputation#38368391)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 10th, 2019 4:11 PM
Author: stubborn mint fortuitous meteor garrison

whoa cr

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2Reputation#38368548)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 10th, 2019 5:01 PM
Author: learning disabled cerebral hall



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2Reputation#38368821)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 23rd, 2020 10:16 AM
Author: Concupiscible Confused Trust Fund Sanctuary

this is an amazing article

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2Reputation#39475589)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 28th, 2021 12:14 AM
Author: stimulating gunner patrolman

!!!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2Reputation#43341991)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 10th, 2019 3:47 PM
Author: snowy legend

"wretched office-worker who goes home to a cat"

imo this guy should get credit for identifying the modern shrew

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2Reputation#38368399)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 10th, 2019 4:59 PM
Author: learning disabled cerebral hall



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2Reputation#38368816)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 10th, 2019 3:45 PM
Author: soul-stirring talking den mood

“No one wants to force middle-class American women to have babies. In fact, it’s almost impossible for them to contemplate having kids, because they’re terrified that it might set them back in their careers, and their rivals in the adjacent cubicles would grab their parking spaces and health plans. Nobody wants to use their bodies. That’s precisely the horror with which they live: no one wants to mate with them because in their world, every single striver must fear every other, and the sort of joint action involved in mating and rearing one’s young is impossible—laughable, a thing which only those who have abandoned the hope of A Career can contemplate. So in their minds, mating and rearing children moves down in class, becoming a thing for rednecks and (though they’ll never say this part out loud) immigrants-of-col”

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2Reputation#38368389)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 10th, 2019 3:47 PM
Author: Adulterous appetizing kitty cat menage

The eXile was an early dose of REDPILL for me even though the writes are all lefty degenerates.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2Reputation#38368394)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 10th, 2019 3:47 PM
Author: Vigorous new version



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2Reputation#38368397)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 10th, 2019 3:58 PM
Author: Concupiscible Confused Trust Fund Sanctuary

whoah

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2Reputation#38368476)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 10th, 2019 4:09 PM
Author: dead station wrinkle



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2Reputation#38368537)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 10th, 2019 4:12 PM
Author: stubborn mint fortuitous meteor garrison

holy shit

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2Reputation#38368558)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 10th, 2019 4:46 PM
Author: beady-eyed narrow-minded old irish cottage

holy fuck

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2Reputation#38368731)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 10th, 2019 5:28 PM
Author: supple magical roommate rehab

Cot damn

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2Reputation#38368965)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 9th, 2021 3:27 PM
Author: milky mexican school cafeteria



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2Reputation#42430424)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 28th, 2021 12:15 AM
Author: stimulating gunner patrolman

!!!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2Reputation#43341997)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 24th, 2024 11:17 PM
Author: Floppy embarrassed to the bone affirmative action corner

this is scholarship

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2Reputation#48237594)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 10th, 2019 4:05 PM
Author: Ocher market

fatality

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2Reputation#38368513)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 10th, 2019 5:56 PM
Author: Mischievous Multi-billionaire



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2Reputation#38369105)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 15th, 2019 2:37 PM
Author: Marvelous Cream Home

Does this guy have any thoughts on MAGA?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2Reputation#38393148)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 28th, 2021 12:05 AM
Author: Idiotic juggernaut parlour



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2Reputation#43341948)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 28th, 2021 12:15 AM
Author: stimulating gunner patrolman



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2Reputation#43342001)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 28th, 2021 3:46 AM
Author: Idiotic juggernaut parlour

this is so damn good I'm copy pasting the whole thing:

THE WINNER OF THE MARK DAVID CHAPMAN LITERARY PRIZE:

#1: Canadian Women ou Les Hoes Canucqois

By John Dolan

Just as I was finishing this column naming Margaret Atwood the Queen of Dunces, I heard she’d won this year’s Booker Prize. Once again, the mainstream press tries to scoop the eXile! There must be a leak somewhere in our ranks. Luckily, we have a roof which specializes in closing leaks, no matter how many fingernails or bamboo slivers it takes. Besides, what a transparent ploy, giving the Booker to Atwood! Atwood IS the Booker; she incarnates it; how can you award it to her? It’s like giving the Nobel to Nobel. Atwood is the prototype of the vaguely leftist, mainstream-feminist Commonwealth novelist for whom the Booker is reserved. Her name is legion: Barbara Kingsolver, Keri Hulme, Nadine Gordimer—these are her handmaids. Kingsolver, nominally American; Hulme, Kiwi; and Gordimer, South African white; all these are drawn like honking geese toward Atwood’s Kanada, spiritual home of all moderate-progressive white folk.

Kanada is the destination of Offred, the heroine of The Handmaid’s Tale, when she flees the Fundamentalist-ruled US. The notion that the Canadian border constitutes sanctuary might seem somewhat risible, since Ontario had considerable trouble repelling an 1867 invasion by forty-odd drunken Fenians armed with broken bottles and sticks. But Atwood refers here, not to a mere traffic jam full of Torontans smuggling home cheap VCRs, but a border between spiritual realms. Hers is a higher Canada, which exists among virtuous, slightly dim middlebrows everywhere in the world. This Greater Canada stretches from the two-square-meter bedrooms of ESL teachers in Kyoto to the jacuzzis of billionaire “progressives” in Malibu.

The scare-stories with which Atwood frigs her readers are distinguished by their foolish irrelevance. Take this alleged masterpiece, The Handmaid’s Tale. A foolish book, it depicts Hell as imagined by an anglo-Canadian mandarin: America ruled by savage uncultured Christians who not only repress all intellectual freedoms but would probably cut funding for genteel novelists. Worst of all, women in this Republic of Gilead are valued solely for their ability to bear children, restricted to the house and excluded from economic activity.

No one who knows anything about the way America works would ever really think that its rulers would want to let silly gender prejudices keep them from creating new consumers, much less let religion get in the way of productivity. The Baptist loonies are suckers to be wooed in election years, no more. They are useful as janitors in peacetime, cannon-fodder in war. Making them into the rulers of a nightmare vision of America is, by a charitable estimation, very naive. If we were to consider it less charitably, it might seem downright suspect. Atwood, who shares about 99.9% of her DNA with America’s real rulers, cannot see them at all, and so fails to notice their hegemony. As she confessed in boasting about her achievement in Handmaid’s Tale, she borrowed horror-stories about the treatment of women in loser countries like Iraq and applied them to the US. Apparently she could not see the horror which really does suffuse American life—a horror which has absolutely nothing to do with that losers’ club, Islam.

Handmaid’s Tale is meant to reassure every wretched office-worker who goes home to a cat, a VCR, and Pizza-for-one that her life is noble and progressive. Handmaid’s Tale is fun horror-fiction for women who work in the American-style cubicle-world precisely because it’s so utterly unrelated to the miseries and terrors of their own lives. No one wants to force middle-class American women to have babies. In fact, it’s almost impossible for them to contemplate having kids, because they’re terrified that it might set them back in their careers, and their rivals in the adjacent cubicles would grab their parking spaces and health plans. Nobody wants to use their bodies. That’s precisely the horror with which they live: no one wants to mate with them because in their world, every single striver must fear every other, and the sort of joint action involved in mating and rearing one’s young is impossible—laughable, a thing which only those who have abandoned the hope of A Career can contemplate. So in their minds, mating and rearing children moves down in class, becoming a thing for rednecks and (though they’ll never say this part out loud) immigrants-of-color. The desire to have children gets bounced outside oneself, onto these lesser beings, and returns, courtesy of Atwood, in demonized form, as the tyranny of procreation, family values and the Patriarchy. It’s the horror they love to fear.

And in the meantime, what has Atwood’s Utopia done, in real political terms? It has managed to distract a whole generation of Americanized women from the real fear and awful loneliness of their office lives. In this way, Atwood’s Canada of the Spirit is, like its real-world counterpart, the good-cop tool, the quaking valet of its Vampire master, America. Atwood’s Canada offers no answer to the Americanized women whose only family is Allie MacBeal and her friends. After all, they’re not rednecks, they’re not Fundamentalists. In fact, the horrible lives of every woman who tries to live out Allie MacBeal is rendered noble by reading Handmaid’s Tale.

So the owners of the cubicles rejoice in the intra-cranial vacations their slaves take in Atwood’s astral Canada. Let them crusade against the Republic of Gilead. Let them invest their wretched slaves’ lives with nobility. The real Republic of Gilead is a matter of dividends, not religion. It would never let the religious obsessions of its cannon-fodder voters interrupt the real business of America—the business carried out in the cubicles. If Allie and Margaret can scatter a cheap glitter over the walls of the cubicles, all the better.

It seems horribly apt that Atwood should win the Booker on the day Bush assumes the presidency. Atwood’s pious, dimwitted, credulous female Canada is the perfect handmaid for Bush’s under-the-table America. Their union is blessed with new offspring every day, every hour. As the coral reefs crumble, the cubicles invade. And everywhere they breed, from Kuala Lumpur to Samara, volumes of Atwood appear like Gideon Bibles at the desks of the corporate handmaids, telling them their lives are blessed.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2Reputation#43342614)



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Date: June 10th, 2019 3:32 PM
Author: Sick chad

Lmao is this really the story of the show?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2Reputation#38368289)



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Date: June 10th, 2019 4:15 PM
Author: diverse principal's office fanboi



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2Reputation#38368575)



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Date: June 10th, 2019 4:35 PM
Author: crusty set



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2Reputation#38368690)



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Date: June 10th, 2019 4:59 PM
Author: spectacular crackhouse immigrant



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2Reputation#38368814)



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Date: January 23rd, 2020 10:13 AM
Author: supple magical roommate rehab



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2Reputation#39475560)



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Date: January 23rd, 2020 10:13 AM
Author: Mischievous Multi-billionaire



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2Reputation#39475562)



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Date: January 23rd, 2020 10:13 AM
Author: ultramarine drunken field



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2Reputation#39475565)



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Date: December 1st, 2021 2:11 PM
Author: supple magical roommate rehab



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2Reputation#43540168)



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Date: December 1st, 2021 2:12 PM
Author: stubborn mint fortuitous meteor garrison



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2Reputation#43540180)



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Date: December 1st, 2021 2:35 PM
Author: Orchid codepig spot



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2Reputation#43540344)



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Date: July 1st, 2022 10:43 AM
Author: Exciting Piazza Voyeur

This and the "inside a lady's head" one are like bookends.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2Reputation#44778169)



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Date: October 1st, 2023 8:48 PM
Author: Exciting Piazza Voyeur



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2Reputation#46870785)



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Date: February 20th, 2024 2:45 PM
Author: Exciting Piazza Voyeur



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2Reputation#47420608)



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Date: October 24th, 2024 11:06 PM
Author: Exciting Piazza Voyeur



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2Reputation#48237576)