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Hypo: $2k, $4k, $8k, $16k... each day you eat 1000 calories more than day before
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Date: September 24th, 2025 12:26 PM Author: boyish very tactful windowlicker For each day you consume 1000 calories more than you did the previous day, you will get $2k^X, where X is the number of consecutive days you've eaten 1000 calories more than you did the previous day.
Tomorrow is day zero to get a baseline. The day after tomorrow is day 1.
You only get one shot, so no stops and starts.
No weight gain powder or performance enhancing supplements.
If you throw up, you're counted as not successful for that day and the previous day. You still get your money for the earlier days.
A day is midnight to midnight local time.
You'll instinctively know how many calories you've had each day. No need to track or calculate it on your own.
How many days will you make it? |
Date: September 24th, 2025 12:31 PM Author: brass keepsake machete point if I make it 11 days, I get a little over 2 million obviously start at day 1 = 0 calories, so by day 11 = 10,000 calories, I think I can do that then spend a couple of months exercising hours every day |
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Date: September 24th, 2025 12:35 PM Author: boyish very tactful windowlicker What is your strategy for days 7+? 7,000 calories or more per day seems difficult, especially for consecutive days.
Would you keep going if you bade it to day 11? The daily money is getting really big at that point. |
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Date: September 24th, 2025 12:38 PM Author: brass keepsake machete point PB, jams, and honey for extra calories, washed down with a lot of full fat milk I think you would have to make a judgment each day about how close you were to losing it, I don't know if I have ever eaten that many calories in a day I would try to exercise as much as possible during this, maybe spend hours a day on a stationary bike and lifting |
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Date: September 24th, 2025 12:38 PM Author: Primrose center Post removed by moderator for violating The Law of The Land. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5779485&forum_id=2id.#49298252) |
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Date: September 24th, 2025 12:39 PM Author: brass keepsake machete point normal people are trying to have normal conversations, can you please go away (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5779485&forum_id=2id.#49298264) |
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Date: September 24th, 2025 12:38 PM Author: Primrose center Post removed by moderator for violating The Law of The Land. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5779485&forum_id=2id.#49298253) |
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Date: September 24th, 2025 12:38 PM Author: Primrose center Post removed by moderator for violating The Law of The Land. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5779485&forum_id=2id.#49298254) |
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Date: September 24th, 2025 12:49 PM Author: boyish very tactful windowlicker A gallon of whole milk is "only" 2400 calories.
An hour on a statiionary bike probably burns only a few hundred calories. You can't "outrun" a bad diet, as the saying goes. |
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Date: September 24th, 2025 12:53 PM Author: brass keepsake machete point no, but you can stay ahead of it for just one more day without throwing up and in this hypo double your money (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5779485&forum_id=2id.#49298390) |
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Date: September 24th, 2025 12:54 PM Author: Primrose center Post removed by moderator for violating The Law of The Land. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5779485&forum_id=2id.#49298403) |
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Date: September 24th, 2025 12:54 PM Author: Primrose center Post removed by moderator for violating The Law of The Land. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5779485&forum_id=2id.#49298404) |
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Date: September 24th, 2025 12:56 PM Author: boyish very tactful windowlicker Whether it helps you stay ahead of it for one more day is interesting. I'm not sure if you're more likely to keep down 12k calories if you're biking throughout the day vs. if you're just laying around and trying to not move much. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5779485&forum_id=2id.#49298416) |
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Date: September 24th, 2025 4:10 PM Author: Dark fluffy chad stead 7,000 calories is what a professional athlete eats, so assuming you do this with the assistance of a trainer and a nutritionist I think the average person could go pretty high. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5779485&forum_id=2id.#49299062) |
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Date: September 24th, 2025 5:15 PM Author: Puce Buck-toothed Native Fats and oils are about 9.4 calories per gram. So 745 grams (~26 oz.) of oil gets you to 7000 calories. That's not hard -- ~1.6 oz. (about a shot) per hour for 16 hours. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5779485&forum_id=2id.#49299192) |
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Date: September 24th, 2025 12:36 PM Author: hideous charismatic genital piercing I probably eat somewhere around 3.5k calories/day right now. 10k calories in a day sounds terrible but I bet I could make it there. The diet would have to be high in full fat dairy; trying to make it there on soda and baked goods would kill me. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5779485&forum_id=2id.#49298241) |
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Date: September 24th, 2025 12:39 PM Author: Coiffed Abode National Security Agency 9/25 - 0 calories consumed, $0 earned 9/26 - 1000 calories consumed, $2000 earned 9/27 - 2000 calories consumed, $4000 earned 9/28 - 3000 calories consumed, $8000 earned 9/29 - 4000 calories consumed, $16,000 earned 9/30 - 5000 calories consumed, $32,000 earned 10/1 - 6000 calories consumed, $64,000 earned 10/2 - 7000 calories consumed, $128,000 earned 10/3 - 8000 calories consumed, $256,000 earned 10/4 - 9000 calories consumed, $512,000 earned 10/5 - 10000 calories consumed, $1,024,000 earned 10/6 - 11000 calories consumed, $2,048,000 earned 10/7 - 12000 calories consumed, $4,096,000 earned 10/8 - 13000 calories consumed, $8,192,000 earned 10/9 - 14000 calories consumed, $16,384,000 earned I'd emerge after 14 days with about $32,766,000, which I think would be enough to set myself and my family up, pay off the mortgage, pay for kids school, take care of some deferred maintenance around the house, buy a pair of hiking shoes, and maybe go for a nature walk. |
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Date: September 24th, 2025 12:44 PM Author: brass keepsake machete point 14,000 calories is a LOT of calories in one day (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5779485&forum_id=2id.#49298303) |
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Date: September 24th, 2025 12:44 PM Author: Primrose center Post removed by moderator for violating The Law of The Land. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5779485&forum_id=2id.#49298310) |
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Date: September 24th, 2025 12:45 PM Author: Primrose center Post removed by moderator for violating The Law of The Land. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5779485&forum_id=2id.#49298311) |
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Date: September 24th, 2025 12:45 PM Author: Coiffed Abode National Security Agency Honestly, you can keep going even after this. I mean you could just drink olive oil or whatever to keep going. It would be gross, but you're talking about 10s of millions of dollars. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5779485&forum_id=2id.#49298318) |
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Date: September 24th, 2025 12:51 PM Author: boyish very tactful windowlicker 14k is a noble goal, but it's a ton, especially after days of 13k, 12k, etc. And you risk losing your most valuable previous day if you throw up. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5779485&forum_id=2id.#49298368) |
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Date: September 24th, 2025 1:07 PM Author: Poppy Casino I’ve thought about this and I think I could actually get pretty far. When I was serious into cycling, I was at 3-4000 calories per day in general. At a moderate endurance pace, I’d burn about 750/cal/hr and would always aim to take in roughly 400/cal/hour while on the bike. The issue is that you start to shit your brains out if you take in too many carbs while working out, but you can train your gut to handle a lot if you work at it. So if I had some time to work at it and get back in shape. I could do a bunch of long rides for a few days and knock out a ton of calories consumed, plus still be hungry before/after. Then just have one or two crazy days of eating at the end to put it over the top. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5779485&forum_id=2id.#49298507) |
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Date: September 24th, 2025 4:27 PM Author: amethyst arousing multi-billionaire box office youd prob lose some weight too, its a win win (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5779485&forum_id=2id.#49299108) |
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Date: September 24th, 2025 5:17 PM Author: Puce Buck-toothed Native You'd gain around 20 pounds for almost $33 million. Not a bad trade. You can lose it. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5779485&forum_id=2id.#49299198) |
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Date: September 24th, 2025 12:43 PM Author: Judgmental persian Got a sample 6k day from ChatGPT. This looks doable
Breakfast (~1,500) • 5 pancakes with butter & syrup → 900 • 4 strips bacon → 200 • 3 eggs scrambled with cheese → 400
Lunch (~2,000) • Five Guys double cheeseburger w/ bacon → 1,000 • Large fries → 950 • Soda → 250
Afternoon Snack (~800) • Slice of cheesecake → 450 • Large latte → 350
Dinner (~1,500) • Large pepperoni pizza (½ pie = ~1,400) • Beer (1 pint) → 200
Late Night (~500) • Ice cream pint (Ben & Jerry’s) → ~1,000 (but if you just do half, ~500)
Total: ~6,300
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Date: September 24th, 2025 12:44 PM Author: Coiffed Abode National Security Agency The first week is very doable. The second week quickly becomes Hell. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5779485&forum_id=2id.#49298306) |
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Date: September 24th, 2025 5:18 PM Author: Puce Buck-toothed Native Add butter and oil to everything. Not that hard. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5779485&forum_id=2id.#49299202) |
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Date: September 24th, 2025 12:51 PM Author: boyish very tactful windowlicker 6300 is a cake walk, but you don't start hitting big money for a few more days. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5779485&forum_id=2id.#49298376) |
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Date: September 24th, 2025 12:58 PM Author: Judgmental persian Yea I’m a pretty big guy but I’d prob tap out around 10k.
10k Day
Breakfast (~2,100) • 4 pancakes with butter & syrup → 800 • 4 scrambled eggs with cheese + 2 strips bacon → 600 • 2 donuts → 400 • 2 cups whole milk → 300
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🍗 Lunch (~2,300) • 12 buffalo wings with ranch → 1,200 • Loaded baked potato (butter, sour cream, cheese) → 600 • Soda (20 oz) → 250 • 1 slice pecan pie → 450
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🍦 Afternoon (~2,000) • 1 pint Ben & Jerry’s → 1,000 • Large chocolate milkshake → 600 • 2 candy bars → 400
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🍕 Dinner (~2,300) • Half a large pepperoni pizza (or ~4 slices) → 1,200 • 1 slice pecan pie → 450 • Mashed potatoes w/ gravy (~1 cup) → 250 • Soda (20 oz) → 250 • Ice cream scoop on pie → 150
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🍪 Late Night (~1,300) • 1 pint Häagen-Dazs → 1,000 • 2 cookies → 200 • Glass of chocolate milk → 100 |
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Date: September 24th, 2025 1:10 PM Author: brass keepsake machete point God that's a lot of food (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5779485&forum_id=2id.#49298514) |
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Date: September 25th, 2025 9:04 PM Author: lilac infuriating hell Honestly started laughing when I got to “2 donuts”, trying to imagine a situation where I had the pancakes, bacon and eggs (with cheese, no less!) and then decided not one but TWO donuts were in order to top off breakfast.
Similarly “Afternoon” had me in stitches. |
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Date: September 24th, 2025 12:45 PM Author: amethyst arousing multi-billionaire box office start with a fast day, i could make it to 12K in a day i think (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5779485&forum_id=2id.#49298315) |
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Date: September 24th, 2025 12:51 PM Author: Primrose center Post removed by moderator for violating The Law of The Land. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5779485&forum_id=2id.#49298371) |
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Date: September 24th, 2025 12:51 PM Author: Primrose center Post removed by moderator for violating The Law of The Land. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5779485&forum_id=2id.#49298372) |
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Date: September 24th, 2025 3:30 PM Author: contagious state Bodybuilders routinely fail to achieve 20k.
I think a 48hr fast prior to Day 1 would be very helpful, add in some intense weightlifting and high step count.
Your 1k, 2k, 3k days will still have you feeling hungry as fuck trying to deal with the fast and exercise.
Liquid calories will be your friend. Olive oil on everything. Flat 2Ls of soda like Sam Sulek. |
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Date: September 24th, 2025 3:40 PM Author: boyish very tactful windowlicker I don't know about a 48 hour fast beforehand. Your stomach would shrink, when you need all the capacity that you can get. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5779485&forum_id=2id.#49298973) |
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Date: September 24th, 2025 3:44 PM Author: awkward shitlib bust out the ipas and let do (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5779485&forum_id=2id.#49298980) |
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Date: September 24th, 2025 3:57 PM Author: Swollen excitant space I think the issue is that your all time max calories could be pretty high, I think 12-20k, but grinding out a 15k day after a 14k day is going to be very hard (without throwing up). I would probably stop at 10-12k. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5779485&forum_id=2id.#49299016) |
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Date: September 24th, 2025 4:07 PM Author: Dark fluffy chad stead I would target 20 days, 20,000 calories (210,000) total, entitling me to $2.1 billion.
The world record is around 50,000 calories in a single day and Joey Chestnut eats 23,000 in 10 minutes in a single contest, so assuming I’m not getting anywhere near those, I believe 20 days is possible.
I would eat primarily peanut butter bananas chocolate and drink Ensure in the later days.
Edit: LOL, I asked grok to describe the physical pain and the effects on my organs day by day and I would like to change my answer to 12 Days. It says sleep becomes impossible by day 17. I also learned the term “organ crowding”. |
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Date: September 24th, 2025 4:51 PM Author: Laughsome Shivering Mad-dog Skullcap Forum I believe most competitive eaters violently purge immediately after the contest. Joey Chestnut iirc claims he doesnt, but I dont believe him (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5779485&forum_id=2id.#49299139) |
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Date: September 24th, 2025 4:22 PM Author: Sapphire alpha dingle berry 4 days
Day 1 = 2000^0 = $1 Day 2 = 2000^1 = $2000 Day 3 = 2000^2 = $4,000,000 Day 4 = 2000^3 = $8,000,000,000
At least according to OP's formula of ($2k^X). |
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Date: September 24th, 2025 4:22 PM Author: Dark fluffy chad stead (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5779485&forum_id=2id.#49299092) |
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Date: September 24th, 2025 7:11 PM Author: Dark fluffy chad stead You wouldn’t try for 5000 calories and $16 trillion? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5779485&forum_id=2id.#49299511) |
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Date: September 24th, 2025 4:24 PM Author: Hateful Idea He Suggested Whorehouse But where is Disco Fries going to get $4,096,000? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5779485&forum_id=2id.#49299099) |
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Date: September 24th, 2025 4:27 PM Author: free-loading electric stain boistinker i could do it up to 10Kcal/day. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5779485&forum_id=2id.#49299107) |
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Date: September 24th, 2025 6:01 PM Author: Shaky irradiated french chef goyim Toward the end get all your calories through soda amd processed, sugary, oily garbage food that is specifically designed to go down like nothing. I think you could drink at least 5k in calories if you really tried. Add some twinkies amd shit like that into it and you should be good. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5779485&forum_id=2id.#49299334) |
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Date: September 24th, 2025 6:12 PM Author: Swollen excitant space A 12oz can of Mountain Dew is 170 calories. How many can you drink (probably better to go with something non-carbonated though). (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5779485&forum_id=2id.#49299368) |
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Date: September 24th, 2025 6:37 PM Author: Puce Buck-toothed Native It's extremely easy to get something more energy dense than Mountain Dew. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5779485&forum_id=2id.#49299441) |
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Date: September 24th, 2025 8:06 PM Author: Swollen excitant space Oil (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5779485&forum_id=2id.#49299642) |
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Date: September 24th, 2025 7:18 PM Author: Dashing Buff Psychic Elastic Band Gatormo and/or some other crypto centamillionaires should do this IRL with Disco Fries and film it as a YouTube series. It would get a shitload of views and they could figure out how to monetize and split that extra revenue. I think DF makes it to the 15000 calorie day, but you could set the max at 12000. Call it The Biggest Consumer. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5779485&forum_id=2id.#49299532) |
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Date: September 24th, 2025 7:26 PM Author: boyish very tactful windowlicker In the poker boom days, pokermos in Vegas would make all kinds of zany prop bets like this.
One example from slightly after that period: https://www.si.com/extra-mustard/2018/11/30/friday-hot-clicks-poker-player-richard-alati-dark-bathroom-bet |
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Date: September 24th, 2025 7:51 PM Author: know-it-all razzmatazz azn you mean 2^x * 1000.
anyway, i'm trying to get to day 20. |
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Date: September 24th, 2025 9:08 PM Author: Puce Buck-toothed Native That fourth day ($16 trillion) would destabilize the global economy. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5779485&forum_id=2id.#49299881) |
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Date: September 24th, 2025 8:08 PM Author: Marvelous Elite Shrine Does cum count towards my calorie alottment? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5779485&forum_id=2id.#49299650) |
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Date: September 24th, 2025 9:12 PM Author: Swollen excitant space Yes (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5779485&forum_id=2id.#49299891) |
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Date: September 24th, 2025 9:33 PM Author: Marvelous Elite Shrine 0 days (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5779485&forum_id=2id.#49299967) |
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Date: September 24th, 2025 8:18 PM Author: Magenta kink-friendly resort gunner If you did this for 2 weeks, you'd cause permanent metabolic damage. You'd gain 30 pounds - mostly water at first then probably 20 pounds of visceral fat which is insane for two weeks. By day 7 you'd have constant explosive diarrhea, possible GERD. You'd be retaining an insane amount of fluid - you'd be uncomfortably puffy, swollen ankles, bloated belly. By day 10-11, you'd be constipated from your colon slowing down dramatically from being overloaded. The smell from your shit will now be unbearable and you can smell it from far away. Some people, by day 14, will be in a straight up hypertensive crisis, with cardiac arrhythmias and non-alcoholic fatty liver disease onset.
Still, you probably wouldn't die and could recoup nicely (i.e. get back to where you were) in 8-10 weeks. |
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Date: September 25th, 2025 12:02 AM Author: autistic orchestra pit bbw There’s no requirement you need to be sedentary. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5779485&forum_id=2id.#49300562) |
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Date: September 24th, 2025 9:14 PM Author: Slate circlehead Can I just drink beer all day? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5779485&forum_id=2id.#49299897) |
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Date: September 25th, 2025 8:34 AM Author: Dark fluffy chad stead I actually think drinking alcohol would help because it would hijack your digestive system and more food would pass through undigested, but you would spend four hours a day on the toilet. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5779485&forum_id=2id.#49301779) |
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Date: September 24th, 2025 11:58 PM Author: autistic orchestra pit bbw I feel like people aren’t thinking this through enough.
There’s no requirement you need to be sedentary.
You could burn a lot of these calories each day through strenuous physical activity.
Make it your job to eat, workout, sleep, that’s it.
I don’t see how anyone wouldn’t make it to AT LEAST day 14 that way ($32m cumulative). And I frankly suspect plenty of us would make it deep into a 3rd week (at day 17 you’re now getting 9 figures in a day).
Remember, your ONLY job would be to eat, workout, sleep. If you’re disciplined, you can do that for 2-3 weeks and watch the money pile up.
Also fuck eating burgers and pizza and ice cream and shit. You’d want to do it through olive oil, salmon, avocados, nuts and nut butters, whole milk, rice etc. so you didn’t feel like shit.
This all seems easily doable.
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Date: September 25th, 2025 12:19 AM Author: Slate circlehead If you are working out you aren't eating. I would drink 60 light beers a day. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5779485&forum_id=2id.#49300590) |
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Date: September 25th, 2025 8:33 AM Author: Dark fluffy chad stead You’re crazy. You would want to remain active, but strenuous exercise would kill you. The hardest part of ultramarathons is often the digestive issues. Your body needs to focus on digesting all of those calories and after 10,000 calories you would be so far from matching the caloric intake it wouldn’t matter.
An hour of strenuous exercise is only 1,000 calories or so. So mild exercise all day is only going to burn about 5k per day. Also, by day 12 you would have trouble moving anyway. |
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Date: September 25th, 2025 8:57 AM Author: Poppy Casino As noted above, you can take in a lot of calories while you’re exercising and those calories are getting burned right away while you’re working out. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5779485&forum_id=2id.#49301805) |
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Date: September 25th, 2025 12:19 PM Author: Dark fluffy chad stead Haha, go for it bud (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5779485&forum_id=2id.#49302254) |
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Date: September 25th, 2025 12:23 PM Author: Poppy Casino You don’t know shit about shit (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5779485&forum_id=2id.#49302264) |
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Date: September 25th, 2025 9:11 PM Author: Abusive area (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5779485&forum_id=2id.#49303663) |
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Date: September 25th, 2025 9:11 PM Author: Abusive area TITCR (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5779485&forum_id=2id.#49303665) |
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Date: September 25th, 2025 2:55 AM Author: Low-t library First day eat celery all day; NEGATIVE 10000 calories. Then you could eat less celery the next day, etc. Then start eating normally after a few days. You could make billions (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5779485&forum_id=2id.#49301609) |
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Date: September 25th, 2025 11:43 AM Author: Puce Buck-toothed Native No, there are no negative calories for celery. The c thermal effect of food isn't nearly strong enough. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5779485&forum_id=2id.#49302137) |
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Date: September 25th, 2025 3:03 AM Author: Mustard school 24k cal of olive oil in 3 min
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ttC7KbE_uDo |
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Date: September 25th, 2025 8:35 AM Author: Dark fluffy chad stead “I think I have to go for the hospital for real this time.” (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5779485&forum_id=2id.#49301782) |
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Date: September 25th, 2025 12:30 PM Author: Mustard school just spread it out over a day (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5779485&forum_id=2id.#49302284) |
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Date: September 25th, 2025 7:37 AM Author: massive tanning salon (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5779485&forum_id=2id.#49301721) |
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Date: September 25th, 2025 8:59 AM Author: shimmering hospital preventive strike So I've thought about this a lot. There's definitely a way to get over 10K with some effort, if you are picking truly calorie packed meals (just go to the Cheesecake Factory), then basically doing hour long cardio sessions in between to not only burn an extra ~600 at a time but to work up the appetite. It would be very tough for me to hit 14K but I feel like I could ladder up to 10K. Great hypo. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5779485&forum_id=2id.#49301807) |
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Date: September 25th, 2025 9:51 AM Author: Slate circlehead 2 liters of Coca Cola has 800 calories. Drink 1 of those with each meal and you are already at 2400 calories without any effort. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5779485&forum_id=2id.#49301880) |
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Date: September 25th, 2025 9:48 PM Author: boyish very tactful windowlicker ty (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5779485&forum_id=2id.#49303752) |
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Date: September 25th, 2025 12:25 PM Author: Fragrant maroon fortuitous meteor queen of the night A loaded bloomin' onion is like 3,000 calories. If you can't get yourself up to 15K you're a fucking pussy.
And probably a foreigner. This is a truly American challenge. |