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We are going to need all hands on deck tonight. Thanks.
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Poast new message in this thread
Date: November 12th, 2014 9:12 PM Author: Carnelian Heaven Foreskin (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2726147&forum_id=2id.#26704778) |
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Date: May 12th, 2016 10:14 PM Author: Carnelian Heaven Foreskin (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2726147&forum_id=2id.#30465694) |
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Date: January 13th, 2022 4:33 PM Author: Carnelian Heaven Foreskin (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2726147&forum_id=2id.#43779131) |
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Date: November 6th, 2024 10:09 PM Author: Carnelian Heaven Foreskin (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2726147&forum_id=2id.#48303635) |
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Date: October 1st, 2024 7:58 PM Author: Carnelian Heaven Foreskin Dear Team,
I want to extend my sincere thanks to all of you for your continued efforts on this project for our high-profile client. Your hard work and dedication have been instrumental in keeping things on track.
I am taking note of those who have made particularly significant contributions, and I will ensure that the Managing Partner is informed.
Thank you again for your commitment and focus.
Best regards,
-Mainlining |
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Date: November 5th, 2024 11:02 AM Author: Carnelian Heaven Foreskin (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2726147&forum_id=2id.#48286024) |
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Date: December 19th, 2024 1:13 AM Author: Carnelian Heaven Foreskin (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2726147&forum_id=2id.#48464369) |
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Date: November 14th, 2024 10:40 PM Author: Carnelian Heaven Foreskin (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2726147&forum_id=2id.#48339563) |
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Date: November 19th, 2024 12:27 AM Author: Carnelian Heaven Foreskin (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2726147&forum_id=2id.#48354784) |
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Date: December 17th, 2024 1:16 AM Author: Carnelian Heaven Foreskin (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2726147&forum_id=2id.#48457128) |
Date: November 12th, 2014 9:15 PM Author: beady-eyed gay wizard just glad to be part of the team (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2726147&forum_id=2id.#26704800) |
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Date: November 12th, 2014 9:16 PM Author: Carnelian Heaven Foreskin Great. See you at 7:30 PM--my office.
We need to get through approx. 5K medical records by tomorrow 9 AM.
Take-out is on me. Do you like pepperoni?
Thanks. |
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Date: November 12th, 2014 9:19 PM Author: beady-eyed gay wizard sounds good (the pepperoni too) (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2726147&forum_id=2id.#26704825) |
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Date: November 12th, 2014 9:19 PM Author: Carnelian Heaven Foreskin Knew you'd be down with that.
Could you pick up some soda on the way? Diet Coke, please. |
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Date: November 12th, 2014 9:20 PM Author: sinister clear ape hell The store only has Pepsi products. Is Diet Pepsi okay?
Thanks |
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Date: November 12th, 2014 9:21 PM Author: motley insanely creepy legend (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2726147&forum_id=2id.#26704838) |
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Date: November 12th, 2014 9:22 PM Author: Carnelian Heaven Foreskin What store? I'm fine with you being a few minutes late if it means you can get the proper beverage for the team. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2726147&forum_id=2id.#26704841) |
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Date: November 12th, 2014 9:23 PM Author: sinister clear ape hell The client is here and would prefer Diet Coke. It matters a lot to us if you could make the extra effort here. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2726147&forum_id=2id.#26704846) |
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Date: November 12th, 2014 9:28 PM Author: beady-eyed gay wizard *brings diet coke but client has already left to go to restaurant instead and then will head back to hotel to be well rested for the next day* (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2726147&forum_id=2id.#26704874) |
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Date: November 12th, 2014 9:28 PM Author: sinister clear ape hell (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2726147&forum_id=2id.#26704878) |
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Date: June 11th, 2021 7:43 PM Author: Red concupiscible clown (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2726147&forum_id=2id.#42613102) |
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Date: November 12th, 2014 9:28 PM Author: Carnelian Heaven Foreskin Agreed. Waiting to hear back from The Master; frankly, I'm beginning to doubt his commitment to this matter.
Do we need to get in touch with Jason? I know his work-product is questionable but he is always willing to help.
Thoughts? |
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Date: November 12th, 2014 9:31 PM Author: beady-eyed gay wizard i think he's at dinner with his wife for their 5th anniversary but he should be able to free up after that (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2726147&forum_id=2id.#26704897) |
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Date: November 12th, 2014 9:33 PM Author: Carnelian Heaven Foreskin Disappointing.
Contact Jason. The Master clearly is out-of-pocket. |
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Date: November 12th, 2014 9:33 PM Author: sinister clear ape hell Twist: The associate is Jason Voorhees (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2726147&forum_id=2id.#26704908) |
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Date: November 12th, 2014 9:36 PM Author: beady-eyed gay wizard just touched base with jason. they're in the middle of the entrees but he said they can skip dessert. he'll head in as soon as he puts his wife in a cab home.
should he head directly to your office when he gets in or should i bring him up to speed first? |
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Date: November 12th, 2014 9:40 PM Author: Carnelian Heaven Foreskin Get him up to speed. Since Rudolph is only a few months in, I decided to cut him some slack. Can't scare away the new associate so soon!
I have no doubt you and Jason can handle the rest.
I'll be up early to review the flagged documents and submit results to Partner X.
Of course, I'll make sure credit is given where due.
Thanks again. |
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Date: November 12th, 2014 9:41 PM Author: beady-eyed gay wizard You got it. Have a good night. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2726147&forum_id=2id.#26704949) |
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Date: November 12th, 2014 9:41 PM Author: Carnelian Heaven Foreskin Love your willingness to take on a leadership role in this matter.
You've got a bright future.
Thanks.
|
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Date: November 12th, 2014 9:42 PM Author: beady-eyed gay wizard Thanks. Much appreciated. Thanks again. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2726147&forum_id=2id.#26704963) |
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Date: November 12th, 2014 9:44 PM Author: Carnelian Heaven Foreskin Apologies for another e-mail but Partner Y just reached out to me.
Client Z has gotten into some very serious trouble. Discrete criminal issue.
Are you able to take on another matter or will the document review take up your entire night? I think the research could wait until early tomorrow afternoon, if necessary. Should only take an hour or two. |
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Date: November 12th, 2014 9:47 PM Author: beady-eyed gay wizard unfortunately, i'm not sure i will have the bandwidth (need to get something out for Partner Q by early afternoon tomorrow) (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2726147&forum_id=2id.#26704992) |
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Date: November 12th, 2014 9:48 PM Author: Carnelian Heaven Foreskin Just spoke with Partner Q--his assignment can wait until Friday AM.
Attaching Partner Y's research question.
Thanks. |
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Date: November 12th, 2014 9:51 PM Author: sinister clear ape hell I'm copying Associate K in on this; he can explain some of the tax aspects of the matter to you. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2726147&forum_id=2id.#26705019) |
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Date: November 12th, 2014 9:51 PM Author: beady-eyed gay wizard Partner Q just reached out to me and told me that he would still like me to join the call with client Q at 9:30 am tomorrow (which could go until noon or so), which could pose a conflict (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2726147&forum_id=2id.#26705020) |
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Date: November 12th, 2014 9:54 PM Author: Carnelian Heaven Foreskin I don't see a conflict. The assignment is not due until early tomorrow afternoon and should only take an hour or so. Late afternoon might even be OK if you have some bumps in the research. CCing Partner Y so he know you've got a full plate.
I really appreciate this. |
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Date: November 12th, 2014 9:56 PM Author: beady-eyed gay wizard there's a chance that client Q may want some immediate follow-up done on some issues discussed on the call, but i will try my best to manage their expectations (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2726147&forum_id=2id.#26705050) |
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Date: November 12th, 2014 9:57 PM Author: Carnelian Heaven Foreskin Look forward to seeing the results.
But first thing first - how is the document review going? Is Jason in yet?
Just want to make sure the team is fully assembled. |
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Date: November 12th, 2014 9:59 PM Author: beady-eyed gay wizard it's progressing
jason just got in and i'm bringing him up to speed (i think he may have had a bit too much wine at dinner) |
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Date: November 12th, 2014 10:00 PM Author: Carnelian Heaven Foreskin He'll sober up soon enough.
Rudolph just provided an update--he's plowed through 300 records already. To be honest, I'm doubting if he is thoroughly reviewing the documents. May consider having you double-check his review if you have the time.
I'll be in touch. Finishing up something with the wife but will be checking e-mail periodically (have the alarm set for 2 and 4 AM to check on the team's status updates).
Thanks. |
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Date: November 12th, 2014 10:08 PM Author: beady-eyed gay wizard i can have jason check on rudolph's docs
if i don't respond immediately when you check in, i'm probably grabbing some coffee from the pantry |
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Date: November 12th, 2014 10:12 PM Author: Carnelian Heaven Foreskin We are paying you the big bucks for a reason. You're one of the good ones. Thanks so much.
|
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Date: November 13th, 2014 5:27 PM Author: supple abode dingle berry Do i know u lol (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2726147&forum_id=2id.#26710243) |
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Date: January 27th, 2015 7:31 AM Author: Blathering step-uncle's house dopamine (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2726147&forum_id=2id.#27195549) |
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Date: November 13th, 2014 9:07 PM Author: floppy lettuce 180 (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2726147&forum_id=2id.#26711727) |
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Date: November 12th, 2014 9:48 PM Author: galvanic site Sr. Associate:
I saw that Jr. Associate is overwhelmed by the work load. I can take up the slack. I have no plans for the remaining weekend. Please let me know. Love to help.
Thank you, |
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Date: November 12th, 2014 9:49 PM Author: Carnelian Heaven Foreskin Weekend is irrelevant. Work needs to be done ASAP. Jr. Associate has already "claimed" the assignment.
Will certainly keep you in mind, though. Thaks. |
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Date: November 12th, 2014 9:50 PM Author: galvanic site Thank you for the consideration.
Thank you, |
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Date: November 12th, 2014 9:52 PM Author: Carnelian Heaven Foreskin Just work on responsiveness. You do great work otherwise.
Thanks. |
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Date: November 12th, 2014 9:54 PM Author: sinister clear ape hell Will do, htansk (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2726147&forum_id=2id.#26705038) |
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Date: January 27th, 2015 8:01 AM Author: brindle keepsake machete stage "what store" is teh best part about this one. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2726147&forum_id=2id.#27195597) |
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Date: April 17th, 2017 12:12 AM Author: Yellow Principal's Office (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2726147&forum_id=2id.#33091410) |
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Date: April 10th, 2023 10:23 AM Author: contagious tanning salon people who are hurt (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2726147&forum_id=2id.#46167093) |
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Date: April 10th, 2023 5:15 PM Author: Carnelian Heaven Foreskin Lol that was me, im OP btw (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2726147&forum_id=2id.#46168743) |
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Date: November 12th, 2014 9:21 PM Author: beady-eyed gay wizard not a problem.
thanksz |
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Date: July 8th, 2021 10:06 PM Author: Laughsome Salmon Locale Voyeur (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2726147&forum_id=2id.#42752376) |
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Date: April 13th, 2022 10:44 AM Author: Carnelian Heaven Foreskin I was pepperoni threading back in 2014 boys (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2726147&forum_id=2id.#44330266) |
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Date: November 12th, 2014 9:16 PM Author: galvanic site Dear Sr. Associate:
Thank you for this opportunity. I am excited to be able to contribute.
Thank
|
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Date: November 12th, 2014 9:17 PM Author: Carnelian Heaven Foreskin Love your enthusiasm. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2726147&forum_id=2id.#26704814) |
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Date: November 12th, 2014 9:22 PM Author: galvanic site Sr. Associate;
I came to your office to hand in some preliminary research on the subject matter, but saw you were away. Please let me know when you return and I will come up to the 23rd floor.
FYI- the elevators are out so please give me a few extra minutes, I apologize in advance for the delay.
Thank you again!
|
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Date: November 12th, 2014 9:24 PM Author: sinister clear ape hell Actually just had PTSD from this one (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2726147&forum_id=2id.#26704850) |
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Date: November 12th, 2014 11:26 PM Author: Violet Kitchen Cuckoldry (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2726147&forum_id=2id.#26705660) |
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Date: November 12th, 2014 9:26 PM Author: Carnelian Heaven Foreskin No need to wait for me. I'm at a charity event the rest of the evening.
Please e-mail a concise summary of your findings. Also, attach a memorandum discussing the results in greater depth.
No need to cite everything precisely--I know this is short notice.
Appreciate it. |
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Date: November 12th, 2014 9:30 PM Author: Swashbuckling Painfully Honest Reading Party (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2726147&forum_id=2id.#26704886) |
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Date: November 12th, 2014 9:30 PM Author: sinister clear ape hell (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2726147&forum_id=2id.#26704889) |
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Date: November 12th, 2014 9:30 PM Author: galvanic site Dear Sr. Associate:
According to IT my computer was hacked and crashed. I have the memorandum in hardcopy. I can come to the charity event to drop it off. IT has advised me that my e-mail is sending out the virus.
Thank you, |
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Date: November 12th, 2014 9:31 PM Author: Carnelian Heaven Foreskin The system is functioning fine for me. Go to the office next door, if necessary.
I need this ASAP. |
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Date: November 12th, 2014 9:32 PM Author: sinister clear ape hell (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2726147&forum_id=2id.#26704900) |
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Date: November 12th, 2014 9:33 PM Author: galvanic site Dear Sr. Associate:
Attached please find the memorandum. My fob was not working so I was forced to break the window to enter the next door office. The police are demanding I go with them to the station. I may be away from my blackberry temporarily. I will be back within the hour.
Please let me know if you need anything further. Again, than you for this opportunity.
Thank you, |
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Date: November 12th, 2014 9:35 PM Author: sinister clear ape hell Meanwhile, another associate's BB blinks:
Jr Assoc.
Mainlining has been arrested by the police; we need you to go and post bail. You can charge it to this client and matter number.
Thanks, |
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Date: November 12th, 2014 9:45 PM Author: galvanic site Dear Sr. Associate:
Thank you for having Jr. Associate post bail. I am back in the office and IT has fixed my computer.
I also saw a chain regarding pizza? Is there any left, the food at the station was sub-par.
Please let me know what else I can do to assist.
Thank you for understanding,
Jr.Jr. Associate |
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Date: November 12th, 2014 9:47 PM Author: Carnelian Heaven Foreskin Inter-Gender,
The pizza has been consumed.
FYI--check the fridge on floor 41. I heard they have some leftover Panera from the client meeting.
Best, |
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Date: November 12th, 2014 9:48 PM Author: sinister clear ape hell Jr. Assoc,
Unfortunately, the pizza has been consumed. We're going to need you to stay here for now. We have other associate doing a 50-floor survey of the elevator banks; I'll have him pick you up something to eat from the vending machines.
Thanks, |
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Date: November 12th, 2014 9:50 PM Author: galvanic site Sr. Associate:
Thank you for your assistance. I have some granola left in my office and a veggie juice.
I am in my office and have my pager fully charged. Please let me know what else I can do.
Thank you, |
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Date: November 12th, 2014 10:01 PM Author: sinister clear ape hell We're going to need you to give Jason that granola and juice to sober him up. Thsank, (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2726147&forum_id=2id.#26705085) |
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Date: November 12th, 2014 10:02 PM Author: galvanic site Will do. I am heading up the stairs. Floor 50, correct? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2726147&forum_id=2id.#26705093) |
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Date: November 12th, 2014 10:05 PM Author: sinister clear ape hell I believe so. If you see viswanathan, tell him to dispatch Cheerful the Chipmunk to assist you all on this matter. The hallucinatory, friendly animals are a new addition on the team and this is a good chance to get them involved. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2726147&forum_id=2id.#26705113) |
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Date: November 15th, 2024 11:30 AM Author: Carnelian Heaven Foreskin (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2726147&forum_id=2id.#48341084) |
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Date: July 8th, 2021 10:12 PM Author: floppy lettuce (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2726147&forum_id=2id.#42752435) |
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Date: November 12th, 2014 9:42 PM Author: Blathering step-uncle's house dopamine Dear Sr. Associate:
Apologies if I misunderstood your request. As concisely as possible, the elevators are out (Elevator bank, 12th Fl 2014).
Please see attached for a discussion in greater depth.
Thank, Wormfood
-- elev_memo.txt --
On November 12th, 2014, an Adderall-addled junior associate with no semblance of a love life (hereafter "I") and very little to live for followed the creepy-crawlings of the shiny insects he saw out of the corners of his eyes to the elevator bank outside his office on least important floor of the second least-important regional office of one of the bottom 25 Vault 100 law firms in the nation. When I pressed the "Up" button, it did not light up. When I tried "Down" instead, it did not light up either. No change in circumstance obtained from waiting for seventeen minutes, during which I reflected on the banality of the research I had been doing, the chubbiness of the girl for whom I had planned to buy dinner instead of working, and my likelihood of premature death by heart attack. I proceeded to call the building maintenance number provided in the employee handbook. They said the elevators were out. |
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Date: November 12th, 2014 9:46 PM Author: sinister clear ape hell Thanks for your response. I'll explain to partner why you needed the extra turnaround time for this explanation.
In the meantime, could you do a fifty-floor survey of the elevator banks? Assuming the fire escapes are working, it shouldn't take you very long. Feel free to stop by the vending machines and get yourself something to eat; you can bill it to the matter.
Thanks, |
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Date: November 12th, 2014 9:47 PM Author: motley insanely creepy legend (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2726147&forum_id=2id.#26704995) |
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Date: November 12th, 2014 9:56 PM Author: Blathering step-uncle's house dopamine All fifty banks confirmed non-responsive. Please let partner know that I am available to continue working on this matter this weekend. If I appear to be out of pocket please contact at: curled up in enormous potted plant nibbling wood chips and hallucinating small friendly animals, 50th Fl, our building.
Thank. |
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Date: November 12th, 2014 9:58 PM Author: sinister clear ape hell Viswanathan,
The partner is busy wife-swapping right now, but he asked me to tell you how much he appreciates this. We understand you've got a lot on your plate; if you need to, feel free to loop in one of the small friendly animal hallucinations to assist you on the matter. I understand Cutsey the Bunny Rabbit has some bandwidth available.
Tshank, |
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Date: November 12th, 2014 10:00 PM Author: Blathering step-uncle's house dopamine (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2726147&forum_id=2id.#26705077) |
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Date: November 12th, 2014 10:26 PM Author: Red concupiscible clown lol (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2726147&forum_id=2id.#26705274) |
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Date: July 8th, 2021 9:14 PM Author: swollen translucent toilet seat market (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2726147&forum_id=2id.#42752158) |
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Date: November 12th, 2014 9:47 PM Author: motley insanely creepy legend (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2726147&forum_id=2id.#26704993) |
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Date: November 12th, 2014 9:29 PM Author: Swashbuckling Painfully Honest Reading Party (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2726147&forum_id=2id.#26704885) |
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Date: November 12th, 2014 9:22 PM Author: Blathering step-uncle's house dopamine Sounds good. I was planning on reading some medical records for fun anyway. Glad to get paid to do what I love. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2726147&forum_id=2id.#26704843) |
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Date: November 12th, 2014 9:25 PM Author: Carnelian Heaven Foreskin (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2726147&forum_id=2id.#26704854) |
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Date: November 12th, 2014 9:26 PM Author: Blathering step-uncle's house dopamine Thanks. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2726147&forum_id=2id.#26704862) |
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Date: November 12th, 2014 11:59 PM Author: Carnelian Heaven Foreskin (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2726147&forum_id=2id.#26705949) |
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Date: November 13th, 2014 5:10 PM Author: Carnelian Heaven Foreskin (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2726147&forum_id=2id.#26710173) |
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Date: April 14th, 2015 11:51 PM Author: Carnelian Heaven Foreskin (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2726147&forum_id=2id.#27693741) |
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Date: November 12th, 2014 9:31 PM Author: Swashbuckling Painfully Honest Reading Party Listen, my dad died an hour ago, so I'll stay tonight to finish up, but I'll need to take 15 minutes to identify the body. And yes, peperoni sounds good.
Thanks and make sure you check you email. |
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Date: November 12th, 2014 9:32 PM Author: sinister clear ape hell (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2726147&forum_id=2id.#26704899) |
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Date: November 12th, 2014 9:33 PM Author: Swashbuckling Painfully Honest Reading Party (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2726147&forum_id=2id.#26704910) |
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Date: November 12th, 2014 9:35 PM Author: sinister clear ape hell Sorry man, we cool? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2726147&forum_id=2id.#26704921) |
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Date: November 12th, 2014 9:38 PM Author: Swashbuckling Painfully Honest Reading Party OK. We down. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2726147&forum_id=2id.#26704934) |
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Date: November 12th, 2014 9:39 PM Author: sinister clear ape hell (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2726147&forum_id=2id.#26704939) |
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Date: November 12th, 2014 9:35 PM Author: Carnelian Heaven Foreskin Sounds good. I'm reserving a stack of 1K documents for your review.
Please report to Conference Room B. I will leave 3 slices next to the records (I think you can find the microwave!).
The Master was supposed to bring Diet Coke but apparently something came up. I'm going to let Partner X know about your willingness to assist first thing tomorrow AM. |
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Date: November 12th, 2014 9:37 PM Author: galvanic site My sincerest apologies. I though those were left over slices. I ate them. I am sure he can review 1k documents without eating. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2726147&forum_id=2id.#26704930) |
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Date: November 18th, 2014 11:16 PM Author: saffron orchestra pit laser beams (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2726147&forum_id=2id.#26747955) |
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Date: November 12th, 2014 9:38 PM Author: Sadistic cerebral really tough guy filthpig We're looking at a quick burn on this deal. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2726147&forum_id=2id.#26704935) |
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Date: November 12th, 2014 9:42 PM Author: Swashbuckling Painfully Honest Reading Party FROM BOOMER PARTNER BEFORE HE LEAVES AT 6:35 PM TO SENIOR ASSOCIATES:
All,
We don't have secretarial support after 11 PM; can we get some of the female junior associates to make copies and prepare the filings? Wasn't sure if that is kosher nowadays. If not, get some of the nancy boys to do it. |
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Date: November 12th, 2014 9:43 PM Author: sinister clear ape hell Shitlaw boomer partner suggesting the "nancies boy" perform clerical work. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2726147&forum_id=2id.#26704967) |
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Date: November 12th, 2014 9:56 PM Author: sinister clear ape hell Has anyone ever seen the film Masters of Madness? It's from the 60s or 70s, and is about some syncretic cult in West Africa which engaged in bizarre rites; however, the main focus of these rituals was the use of the tropes and appearances and totems of the former British colonial powers, in a sort of parody/appropriation of their masters' authority and strength.
This thread is the Biglaw version of that, and I love it. |
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Date: November 12th, 2014 10:02 PM Author: talented telephone internal respiration this thread is giving me hives (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2726147&forum_id=2id.#26705092) |
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Date: November 12th, 2014 10:22 PM Author: Swashbuckling Painfully Honest Reading Party (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2726147&forum_id=2id.#26705236) |
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Date: November 12th, 2014 10:04 PM Author: Soul-stirring Hilarious House 180billiom all around (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2726147&forum_id=2id.#26705112) |
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Date: November 12th, 2014 10:07 PM Author: Carnelian Heaven Foreskin Team: please provide status updates. It's early but I want to make sure we are all on track.
I know several of you have obligations and I'm doing my best to make sure the partners are properly appraised of your hard work on this important matter.
CCing Partner Y and Q. |
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Date: November 12th, 2014 10:09 PM Author: Blathering step-uncle's house dopamine gbljblmblrblkbbfbthanl (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2726147&forum_id=2id.#26705147) |
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Date: November 12th, 2014 10:12 PM Author: beady-eyed gay wizard i should have an initial rough draft of my preliminary findings for you in the next hour or so (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2726147&forum_id=2id.#26705169) |
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Date: November 12th, 2014 10:18 PM Author: Carnelian Heaven Foreskin Take another 30 minutes or so. No need for a rough draft if it means you can provide a more polished product.
|
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Date: November 12th, 2014 10:19 PM Author: beady-eyed gay wizard can you please give me a call when you have a few minutes. something came up and i think it would be best to discuss live
*plays phone tag for 45 minutes* |
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Date: November 12th, 2014 10:21 PM Author: Carnelian Heaven Foreskin I'm currently indisposed. Just provide me with a polished update and you're be fine.
|
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Date: November 12th, 2014 10:25 PM Author: beady-eyed gay wizard sorry we kept missing each other, was trying to coordinate with Jason and BCE
apparently there's going to be a call in half an hour or so that would make sense for you to join as well |
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Date: November 12th, 2014 10:27 PM Author: Carnelian Heaven Foreskin Rudolph is currently giving me some trouble. Might need you all to pick up his slack.
What call? Why was I not informed of this? CC all parties in the future as a matter of best practice.
Beginning to become concerned this is getting out of control. |
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Date: November 12th, 2014 10:28 PM Author: Swashbuckling Painfully Honest Reading Party Sorry. I'm on it. Dad identified. What do you need? I am fully available. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2726147&forum_id=2id.#26705289) |
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Date: November 12th, 2014 10:32 PM Author: Carnelian Heaven Foreskin Already told you in another correspondence. Go through your assigned documents again.
To be frank, there is no way you performed thorough due diligence. I'm leaving the Assigning Partner out of this at the moment because I care about your career but my patience is wearing thin.
I'm basically giving you free hours here--just want you to take this more seriously. |
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Date: November 12th, 2014 10:33 PM Author: Swashbuckling Painfully Honest Reading Party See my response below. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2726147&forum_id=2id.#26705329) |
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Date: November 12th, 2014 10:29 PM Author: beady-eyed gay wizard nothing major, just figured you'd want to be involved as yore closer to issue X than I am (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2726147&forum_id=2id.#26705294) |
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Date: November 12th, 2014 10:52 PM Author: motley insanely creepy legend oh fuck PTSD (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2726147&forum_id=2id.#26705444) |
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Date: November 12th, 2014 10:13 PM Author: sinister clear ape hell I am attempting to keep myself from eating the documents. Is there anyway we can get some donuts at some point? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2726147&forum_id=2id.#26705175) |
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Date: November 12th, 2014 10:16 PM Author: Carnelian Heaven Foreskin Team: is another pizza in order? My treat.
Any preferences? Also, please confirm floor and conference room for delivery purposes.
|
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Date: November 12th, 2014 10:22 PM Author: Carnelian Heaven Foreskin Team?
This offer is going to expire unless one of you speaks up.
|
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Date: November 12th, 2014 10:27 PM Author: sinister clear ape hell Yes please! (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2726147&forum_id=2id.#26705282) |
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Date: November 12th, 2014 10:29 PM Author: Carnelian Heaven Foreskin And do you have a preference? I'm ordering Domino's Pepperoni in 5 unless one of you offers specifics.
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Date: November 12th, 2014 10:30 PM Author: sinister clear ape hell Domino's Pepperoni is perfect, thanks
Thanks |
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Date: November 12th, 2014 10:33 PM Author: Carnelian Heaven Foreskin Done. Being delivered to Floor 50, Conference Room D.
Expect a call in 15.
bon appétit! |
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Date: November 12th, 2014 10:32 PM Author: beady-eyed gay wizard thanks but I'm good--found some leftover bagels and flat diet sprite in one of the conference rooms on the northside of the 50th floor (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2726147&forum_id=2id.#26705322) |
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Date: November 12th, 2014 10:34 PM Author: sinister clear ape hell hippo,
That was the kosher breakfast for the clients on the Tel Aviv deal. In the future, please run all after-hours dining requests by me before you do something this rash again. As it is, I think we may be able to pin this on Rudolph. |
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Date: November 12th, 2014 10:38 PM Author: beady-eyed gay wizard My apologies, I was not aware. Long day! Brain is turning a bit to mush at this point! (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2726147&forum_id=2id.#26705355) |
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Date: November 12th, 2014 10:35 PM Author: Carnelian Heaven Foreskin That's what I wanted to hear.
Unfortunately, The Master (being the mooch that he is) took me up on my offer. My credit card is currently in the other room but I stepped up and ordered another pepperoni for the team.
Please pay the delivery service. I will make sure you are reimbursed.
Thanks.
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Date: November 12th, 2014 10:41 PM Author: beady-eyed gay wizard sorry i missed your call, had to run down to the lobby to grab the pizza
do you still want to speak? if so, let me know when you free up |
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Date: November 12th, 2014 10:45 PM Author: Carnelian Heaven Foreskin This matter is getting out of hand. You're being very responsive but the rest of the team is borderline insubordinate.
Call me back ASAP.
Also, we need to get Calm on this. Assigning Partner just forwarded me an additional stack of 3K documents that needed to be printed and reviewed.
Please find them attached.
CCing Assigning Partner. |
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Date: November 12th, 2014 10:50 PM Author: beady-eyed gay wizard Will do.
I'll have duplicating get started on printing the additional docs, but they've been a bit slow all night because of some financing deal |
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Date: November 12th, 2014 10:14 PM Author: floppy lettuce *prints and revises status update email 5 times before sending* (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2726147&forum_id=2id.#26705184) |
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Date: November 12th, 2014 10:18 PM Author: Carnelian Heaven Foreskin (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2726147&forum_id=2id.#26705205) |
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Date: November 12th, 2014 10:22 PM Author: Soul-stirring Hilarious House (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2726147&forum_id=2id.#26705239) |
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Date: November 12th, 2014 10:40 PM Author: Red concupiscible clown god dammit (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2726147&forum_id=2id.#26705365) |
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Date: November 12th, 2014 10:41 PM Author: beady-eyed gay wizard (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2726147&forum_id=2id.#26705381) |
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Date: November 12th, 2014 10:23 PM Author: Swashbuckling Painfully Honest Reading Party Almost done. Dad still dead. Peperoni is ingested. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2726147&forum_id=2id.#26705241) |
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Date: November 12th, 2014 10:25 PM Author: Carnelian Heaven Foreskin How thoroughly did you review the records? I only ask because this is a very sensitive matter and we can't risk overlooking anything. Also, more seasoned attorneys have only gotten through 1/3 of the same documentation in a similar time. I'm concerned.
Would you be willing to go through your stack one more time? It would give the assigning partner peace of mind.
CCing Assigning Partner.
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Date: November 12th, 2014 10:30 PM Author: Swashbuckling Painfully Honest Reading Party Can do. But if I go through again and find something this pass it will make my first pass look subpar, so if I find something I will likely delete it. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2726147&forum_id=2id.#26705303) |
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Date: November 12th, 2014 10:34 PM Author: Carnelian Heaven Foreskin Just get it done.
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Date: November 12th, 2014 10:36 PM Author: Swashbuckling Painfully Honest Reading Party Are you telling me to destroy evidence? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2726147&forum_id=2id.#26705349) |
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Date: November 12th, 2014 10:37 PM Author: Carnelian Heaven Foreskin I'm telling you to do your job.
CCing Assigning Partner. |
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Date: November 12th, 2014 10:11 PM Author: Hairraiser Philosopher-king Library this thread is the reason why i joined autoadmit. also, it is making my blood pressure shoot way up. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2726147&forum_id=2id.#26705162) |
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Date: November 12th, 2014 10:14 PM Author: Hyperactive ruddy pisswyrm (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2726147&forum_id=2id.#26705182) |
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Date: November 12th, 2014 11:05 PM Author: sinister clear ape hell (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2726147&forum_id=2id.#26705521) |
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Date: November 12th, 2014 11:29 PM Author: Violet Kitchen Cuckoldry (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2726147&forum_id=2id.#26705682) |
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Date: November 12th, 2014 10:15 PM Author: Amber Stirring Shrine Just made it home. Didn't have a signal on the train. How can I help?
Thanks, BCE |
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Date: November 12th, 2014 10:19 PM Author: Carnelian Heaven Foreskin Thanks for getting in touch but I have already assembled a top-notch team.
That said, you available to assist? It sounds like some of them might be a little over their heads (though you best talk to them before heading back to the office, they might want the hours, and they have already claimed the work).
Let me know.
CCing The Master, Rudloph, hippo, and Jason.
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Date: November 12th, 2014 10:23 PM Author: beady-eyed gay wizard BCE, give me a call when you get a chance.
*extends phone tag to BCE as well* |
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Date: November 12th, 2014 10:40 PM Author: sinister clear ape hell hippo,
I've finally got my head in the game here. One quick question to you--I keep looking at these documents, and they keep reading "All Work and No Play Makes The Master a Dull Boy." Can you drop by to confirm this? I'll cut you in on the pizza. |
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Date: November 12th, 2014 10:43 PM Author: beady-eyed gay wizard looping in Jason
Jason-see below |
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Date: November 12th, 2014 10:46 PM Author: sinister clear ape hell Hi Jason,
Thanks for your help on this. I may be temporarily away from my office in order to scream at the mirror in the restroom, but I'll have my blackberry on me. |
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Date: November 12th, 2014 10:44 PM Author: sinister clear ape hell hippo,
The words are swimming before my eyes and reassembling themselves into shapes with non-Euclidean geometries. I'm wondering if you can confirm this, and if so, if what you think mainlining wants us to do about it. I'd ask him myself, but after the soda fiasco I'm walking on eggshells. |
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Date: November 12th, 2014 10:47 PM Author: beady-eyed gay wizard i think we should hold off until we can connect with mainlining, don't want to go too far down the road on this without his input (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2726147&forum_id=2id.#26705419) |
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Date: November 12th, 2014 10:48 PM Author: sinister clear ape hell Sure thing. Got it. Tanks, (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2726147&forum_id=2id.#26705423) |
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Date: November 12th, 2014 10:36 PM Author: sinister clear ape hell Mainlining,
Just realized I'm "The Master" and have been inappropriately breaking biglaw roleplay thread protocol. Sorry. Let me know what I can do to assist.
Thanks |
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Date: November 12th, 2014 10:23 PM Author: sinister clear ape hell BCE,
Good to hear from you. In the future, consider riding on the roof of the train that's to get a signal. I understand this is difficult sometimes, but this is the quality our clients pay for.
Please pick up a pizza and deliver it to the associates working on Project Babadook; I believe they're mostly on the 50th floor.
It's entirely possible that some of our rockstars on this matter may have had a psychotic break. Please stop by security on the way in to pick up a Taser, just in case.
Thanks, |
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Date: November 12th, 2014 10:18 PM Author: Red concupiscible clown Will do. Thanks, (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2726147&forum_id=2id.#26705206) |
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Date: November 12th, 2014 10:21 PM Author: Carnelian Heaven Foreskin No need. Enough people have stepped up. I'll let you know if we need the help later tonight, though. Thanks. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2726147&forum_id=2id.#26705225) |
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Date: November 12th, 2014 10:36 PM Author: Carnelian Heaven Foreskin Calm--what is your status? You awake? Might need some assistance. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2726147&forum_id=2id.#26705342) |
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Date: November 12th, 2014 10:43 PM Author: Carnelian Heaven Foreskin Calm, you there, buddy?
Things are getting a little hectic. |
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Date: November 12th, 2014 11:00 PM Author: Red concupiscible clown Sorry, I was under attack by a pack of wild dogs. My leg is partially mauled, but I can be in the office in the next 30-40 minutes, depending on traffic. Do I have time to cauterize, or should I take my chances? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2726147&forum_id=2id.#26705487) |
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Date: November 12th, 2014 11:08 PM Author: Carnelian Heaven Foreskin I'm 5 minutes away from the office.
Can you be there then?
Things are getting out of control. Some heads are going to roll as a result of tonight.
CCing Assigning Partner. |
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Date: November 12th, 2014 10:44 PM Author: Pearly mischievous piazza pozpig u r gonna say exactly the same damn thing in 8 yrs, when u r partner (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2726147&forum_id=2id.#26705401) |
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Date: February 7th, 2018 10:16 PM Author: comical party of the first part windowlicker (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2726147&forum_id=2id.#35351807) |
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Date: November 12th, 2014 10:52 PM Author: Carnelian Heaven Foreskin Team,
Just spoke with Hippo and he appraised me of the situation. Not sure how this spiraled out of control. I was very clear.
Heading to the office now to get this house in order. Save me two slices and have a cup of coffee ready.
Also, I want status updates ready by the time I arrive. See you in 15.
-Mainlining |
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Date: November 12th, 2014 10:56 PM Author: Pearly mischievous piazza pozpig *apprised (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2726147&forum_id=2id.#26705463) |
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Date: November 12th, 2014 10:56 PM Author: sinister clear ape hell Will do, kthans.
By the way, hippo just told me that there's been a mix-up with duplicating. Apparently the additional documents were sent with the capital markets team to the printers, and we have several thousand pages of their indentures.
Partner M tells me that Senior Associate G is on the way with the documents; I'll keep you posted.
Warmest retards, |
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Date: November 12th, 2014 10:57 PM Author: Carnelian Heaven Foreskin 10 minutes away. Status on that coffee?
Also, can someone reach out to Calm? He offered to help but I can't get in touch with him. Anyone have his cell? |
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Date: November 12th, 2014 10:59 PM Author: Carnelian Heaven Foreskin Ignore previous message. Calm apparently changed his name since we last spoke. He now goes by 11th yr biglaw associate.
Get him in the office. |
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Date: November 12th, 2014 11:00 PM Author: sinister clear ape hell The Keurig machines appear to have developed sentience and are attempting to foment revolt in the building's electronics. This may explain both the duplication services mix-up and the elevator outages, as well as the insouciant attitude from the shredder on Floor 35.
Should I get calm to bring some coffee? I'll call him asap.
tejoenks, |
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Date: November 13th, 2014 4:57 AM Author: Blathering step-uncle's house dopamine 180 (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2726147&forum_id=2id.#26707019) |
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Date: November 12th, 2014 11:00 PM Author: beady-eyed gay wizard Mainlining,
As you may have already heard from Partner Y, next Friday will be my last day with the firm. I'll be joining the bakery litigation department of stroock & fuck. It's been an absolute pleasure working with you. We can discuss my transition off of this project when you get in. We should definitely grab a drink at some point before I head out for good next week.
Bset, hippo |
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Date: November 12th, 2014 11:05 PM Author: Carnelian Heaven Foreskin What? You're my go-to associate on this project.
Is it a matter of compensation? I know for a fact you are due for a very substantial raise.
Also, I'll be straightforward with you (because you're a friend and trusted colleague)- I need you on this right now. I'll do whatever it takes to make sure you are happy.
At the very least, stay for another month. Help ensure a stable transition. This night is already a cluster-fuck; please don't do this to me. You're going to hang me out to dry if you leave now.
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Date: November 12th, 2014 11:09 PM Author: beady-eyed gay wizard appreciate the kind words, but I'm sure that you and the rest of the team have it under control. i'll try to help out as needed but will not have much capacity as I need to wrap up some other matters and file a lot of stuff to records. again, it's been great working with you and i've learned a ton!
beast retards, hippo |
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Date: November 12th, 2014 10:54 PM Author: Carnelian Heaven Foreskin http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jfTXghv8mi4&list=UUrl7TNjH6qf0ikzd78ooc_w (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2726147&forum_id=2id.#26705455) |
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Date: November 12th, 2014 10:59 PM Author: galvanic site Sr. Associate:
I apologize for my absence. I pulled my hamstring on the stairs and fell I may have dropped blood on some documents. I am so sorry. I am retreating back to my office. I gave my granola to Jason. Can someone bring me pizza I am getting shaky and lightheaded. I am on the 4th floor. Thank you.
Thank you very much |
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Date: November 12th, 2014 11:00 PM Author: Carnelian Heaven Foreskin Are the blood-stained documents originals?
Did you make copies before you began review?
Respond. |
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Date: November 12th, 2014 11:03 PM Author: galvanic site I did not. See below. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2726147&forum_id=2id.#26705506) |
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Date: November 12th, 2014 11:02 PM Author: galvanic site Sr. Associate:
I am sorry but I am losing it here. Are we supposed to be reviewing and summarizing or just reviewing? The directions were not clear. I have spent the last 4 hours in the police station and running up and down the stars. I do not want my reputation staked on this lackluster performance.
I am CC partner.
Thank you. |
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Date: November 12th, 2014 11:09 PM Author: galvanic site Please respond. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2726147&forum_id=2id.#26705541) |
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Date: November 12th, 2014 11:10 PM Author: Carnelian Heaven Foreskin You were each given a certain number of documents to review and summarize.
Please see previous correspondence. The instructions were very clear.
CCing Assigning Partner. |
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Date: November 12th, 2014 11:11 PM Author: galvanic site Is this because of my recent Workers Compensation claim from my pulled hamstring?
CC Managing Partner CC: Executive Committee |
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Date: November 12th, 2014 11:35 PM Author: Violet Kitchen Cuckoldry Jr. Associate,
While we are greatly concerned with the well being of our associates, emailing both myself and the Executive Committee over a few minor incidents is inappropriate and unacceptable behavior. I will request that Mentoring Partner discuss expectations with you tomorrow. We expect that you will refrain from similar conduct in the future.
Managing Partner
CC: Executive Committee CC: Jr. Associate's Mentoring Partner |
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Date: November 12th, 2014 11:02 PM Author: motley insanely creepy legend All, Larry in IP just sent out an APB letting us know you were potentially looking for associates from other groups to pitch in with project babadook? Someone will have to get me up to speed, but I have plenty of capacity the rest of this week, less so over the weekend and early next week. Let me know what I can do. Regards, bison |
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Date: November 12th, 2014 11:05 PM Author: sinister clear ape hell Bison,
Once I stop bleeding from my eyes I would be happy to get you up to speed. Come by my office.
Many Yanks, |
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Date: November 12th, 2014 11:06 PM Author: motley insanely creepy legend Sounds good. Where do you sit again?
bison |
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Date: November 12th, 2014 11:08 PM Author: sinister clear ape hell Floor 33, office 33-88, although the placard outside the door now reads "Carcosa" in an odd font I've never seen before. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2726147&forum_id=2id.#26705539) |
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Date: November 12th, 2014 11:09 PM Author: motley insanely creepy legend Will be up in a few.
bison |
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Date: November 12th, 2014 11:11 PM Author: motley insanely creepy legend Sorry, forgot about your eyes. How are they? Should I come up now or circle back later? Maybe someone else can get me up to speed while you try to stop the bleeding? Please advise.
bison |
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Date: November 12th, 2014 11:12 PM Author: Carnelian Heaven Foreskin Team,
I'm 3 minutes away. I appreciate the initiative but please make sure to CC all parties as a matter of course in future communications. Not sure Jason is in the loop.
-Mainlining
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Date: November 12th, 2014 11:15 PM Author: motley insanely creepy legend Mainlining, Sorry, I just learned about this matter a few minutes ago and wasn't sure yet who all was on the team. I'm looping Jason in now. Will be more careful in the future. In any event, is there somewhere for me to jump in? bison |
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Date: November 12th, 2014 11:17 PM Author: Carnelian Heaven Foreskin Bison,
Just arrived in the office. Hippo is no longer part of the team (for reasons I will explain later) and it looks like you're going to be picking up his slack. Should only be about 700 documents. Dropped them off in your office.
I'll be roaming the halls if you need anything.
Happy hunting!
|
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Date: November 12th, 2014 11:23 PM Author: sinister clear ape hell Subject: Update Mainlining,
I lost the chess game but I promised the Keurig machines that I would deliver hippo to them to do with what they wish tomorrow, and so they agreed to make you coffee.
On a related note, I may need to block off a little bit of time tomorrow to lure hippo into the supply room to hold up my end of the deal. This might be a good task for a summer associate to help out on. Any chance you can pass this along to the recruiting coordinator?
Many Shanks,
Master |
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Date: November 12th, 2014 11:18 PM Author: sinister clear ape hell Sorry about that.
I should have your coffee ready when you arrive; I've convinced the Keurig machines to a duel of wits in the form of a chess game to see whether man or machine will rule the office. I'm down a pawn, but I'll get it done.
Jason--are you available to bring bison up to speed? hippo isn't answering my emails.
Many Thank,
Master |
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Date: November 12th, 2014 11:31 PM Author: Carnelian Heaven Foreskin The Master,
Putting you in charge the rest of the night. I'm retiring in Conference Room C. I'll be up by 4 AM sharp to begin reviewing each summary. Please wake me at that time.
Look forward to seeing what you all come up with. I know it'll be great.
My phone is on silent. Please do not disturb me.
Thanks,
-Mainlining |
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Date: November 12th, 2014 11:13 PM Author: sinister clear ape hell I think I should be okay, but on the off-chance I pass away while catching you up, I've looped hippo in on this.
Hippo--help bison get on board with Project Babadook, please?
Manly Regards,
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Date: November 12th, 2014 11:20 PM Author: beady-eyed gay wizard *dgaf and went to sleep 20 minutes ago*
*won't respond again until 10:37 am the next day with emails along the lines of "i'd love to help to the extent i can but availability is severely limited given all of the things that need to be wrapped up" while dicking around online all day and taking long lunches*
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Date: November 12th, 2014 11:40 PM Author: Violet Kitchen Cuckoldry Jr. Associate,
This is Carrie from HR. We need to speak urgently about a hostile workplace environment claim arising from your usage of the term "manly regards." This was interpreted by a female employee to indicate male favoritism and inherent sexism. She was CC'ed on a recent email chain and is now claiming PTSD. Please respond immediately.
Carrie
CC: Mentoring Partner CC: Managing Partner CC: Executive Committee |
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Date: November 12th, 2014 11:43 PM Author: sinister clear ape hell Carrie,
I apologize sincerely for that mistake. I believe it may have been a residual result of the mechanical uprising which took place at the firm's offices here this evening. I have spoken with the Keurig machine involved and I expect no further problems.
Thnaks,
Master Purchase |
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Date: November 12th, 2014 11:45 PM Author: Violet Kitchen Cuckoldry I appreciate the note but we will still need to have a meeting. Are you available this Friday at 5pm?
Carrie |
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Date: November 12th, 2014 11:47 PM Author: sinister clear ape hell I have a discrete research assignment I'm finishing up then. How about 7:45 that evening? Please extend my sincerest condolences to my co-worker. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2726147&forum_id=2id.#26705812) |
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Date: November 12th, 2014 11:48 PM Author: Violet Kitchen Cuckoldry Both Mentoring Partner and Managing Partner have engagements that evening. It will have to be 5pm. Please wrap up your research assignment before that meeting.
Thanks, Carrie |
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Date: November 12th, 2014 11:51 PM Author: sinister clear ape hell Auto-reply:
*I am away from the thread this evening listening to Lazerhawk* |
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Date: November 13th, 2014 6:56 PM Author: sinister clear ape hell Carrie,
I understand what you're saying, but the research assignment has to do with our firm's compliance with the federal mandates of the PROBLEMATIC AND NOT OKAY ACT OF 2014, which I believe Partner Epsilon told me that you had requested. I believe that we need this done by tomorrow evening to avoid receiving an injunction from Eric Holder. Please advise.
Tshanks,
The Master Purchase Agreement |
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Date: November 12th, 2014 11:35 PM Author: sinister clear ape hell bison,
I'm not sure whether we're supposed to review or review and summarize, so we should probably do the latter. I've almost finished mine; why don't you pick up where hippo and Rudolph left off? I believe some of the documents may be spattered with blood. Ordinarily I'd suggest you get doc processing to chemically restore them, but mainlining told me the client is cost-sensitive on this. I think we should probably do those by hand. I'd help, but my hemorrhaging orifices might do more harm than good. There are some chemicals in one of the janitorial closets on 56, I think.
Let's circle back in 45.
hippo--can you send bison what you have so far on the matter?
transk, Master |
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Date: November 12th, 2014 11:36 PM Author: beady-eyed gay wizard *turns over in bed, farts loudly and goes back to sleep* (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2726147&forum_id=2id.#26705729) |
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Date: November 12th, 2014 11:46 PM Author: Violet Kitchen Cuckoldry tyft (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2726147&forum_id=2id.#26705806) |
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Date: November 13th, 2014 9:43 PM Author: French Pocket Flask Alpha http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9hmDZz5pDOQ (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2726147&forum_id=2id.#26711980) |
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Date: November 12th, 2014 11:42 PM Author: Carnelian Heaven Foreskin Team,
Outstanding work ITT. Exceeded my expectations. Will maek sure credit is given where due.
Have a great night.
-Mainlining out. |
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Date: November 12th, 2014 11:45 PM Author: sinister clear ape hell Glad to help. Really enjoyed working on this matter and learned a lot. Please keep me in mind for any future matters you may have.
Thank,
The Master |
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Date: November 12th, 2014 11:50 PM Author: beady-eyed gay wizard *zzzzzzz* (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2726147&forum_id=2id.#26705836) |
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Date: November 12th, 2014 11:47 PM Author: sinister clear ape hell 180s all around. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2726147&forum_id=2id.#26705816) |
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Date: November 12th, 2014 11:51 PM Author: Violet Kitchen Cuckoldry 180s all around except hippo, who gets a 181. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2726147&forum_id=2id.#26705857) |
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Date: November 12th, 2014 11:52 PM Author: sinister clear ape hell CR, hippo flipped the script (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2726147&forum_id=2id.#26705864) |
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Date: November 12th, 2014 11:53 PM Author: Sepia School thread makes me want to killself (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2726147&forum_id=2id.#26705877) |
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Date: November 12th, 2014 11:58 PM Author: Carnelian Heaven Foreskin (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2726147&forum_id=2id.#26705939) |
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Date: November 13th, 2014 12:26 AM Author: heady bawdyhouse idea he suggested Holy shit, poasting in classic thread. Approaching "hello, who just joined" levels right here. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2726147&forum_id=2id.#26706210) |
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Date: November 13th, 2014 1:11 AM Author: Umber odious headpube (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2726147&forum_id=2id.#26706444) |
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Date: November 13th, 2014 9:14 PM Author: sinister clear ape hell Don't forget "are you in the document?" thread, which is another crucial piece of Biglaw scholarship. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2726147&forum_id=2id.#26711763) |
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Date: November 18th, 2014 11:09 PM Author: saffron orchestra pit laser beams (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2726147&forum_id=2id.#26747848) |
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Date: November 13th, 2014 9:42 AM Author: galvanic site Dear Sr. Associate:
I apologize for my outburst yesterday and CC'ing both the Managing Partner and Executive Committee. I was a bit frazzled by the torn hamstring and having not been able to eat any of the pizza while having to give away my emergency stash of granola to Jason.
My mentoring partner has spoken with me and I assure you I will not have any more outbursts.
To that end, I have finished reviewing and summarizing the documents. In addition, at or around 4 a.m. I did a final perimeter check and have been assured that the elevators are back in working order. Please let me know the next step. Again I am sorry.
Thank you for graciously letting me work on this fantastic assignment.
Thank you,
P.S. I did find a slice of sausage pizza on the 37th floor emergency exit. I ate it-- did anyone order sausage last night??? I thought we only had pepperoni. |
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Date: November 13th, 2014 9:50 AM Author: galvanic site Dear Sr. Associate:
I am sorry but it appears my computer is broken again. I have contacted IT.
This computer goes down more than Monica Lewinsky.
Thank,
*accidentally BCC all attorneys ** |
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Date: January 21st, 2015 9:46 PM Author: floppy lettuce (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2726147&forum_id=2id.#27161264) |
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Date: November 13th, 2014 1:50 PM Author: Blathering step-uncle's house dopamine (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2726147&forum_id=2id.#26708801) |
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Date: November 13th, 2014 2:55 PM Author: beady-eyed gay wizard Mainlining,
Sorry I missed your calls last night and this morning. I've been busy wrapping up my other projects (and had to catch some shuteye). Anyway, I hope things worked out and you guys are in good shape.
I'm around if you need me, but I have a commitment uptown at 5:30 so I'll need to head out at around 5. If you don't catch me, I should be free to speak tomorrow from 2:45 pm until 3 pm.
Tjanks, hippo |
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Date: November 13th, 2014 4:20 PM Author: Carnelian Heaven Foreskin (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2726147&forum_id=2id.#26709865) |
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Date: November 13th, 2014 5:19 PM Author: supple abode dingle berry Do we have a server share setup? I received about 3k physical documents from the client earlier today. I need to have Betsy scan them in.
Did you have notes for the research I sent out last week? I have reattached for reference. |
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Date: November 13th, 2014 6:49 PM Author: Carnelian Heaven Foreskin Status on the scan? Please link if on the server. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2726147&forum_id=2id.#26710721) |
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Date: November 13th, 2014 6:52 PM Author: sinister clear ape hell Mainlining,
Attached please find the link to the documents.
Thanks,
The Master
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Date: November 13th, 2014 6:56 PM Author: Carnelian Heaven Foreskin Where is._._._._.._._._._.._._._._.._._._._.?
I know it is after-hours but he should be more responsive. If I didn't have someone like you on this team we would be in a world of hurt.
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Date: November 13th, 2014 7:04 PM Author: sinister clear ape hell Thanks for the kind words. I will attempt to reach him on this. Should I pull any other team members in on this matter? If you think it would help, I'd be happy to post an APB thread to get more people in here.
Tshank,
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Date: November 13th, 2014 7:05 PM Author: Carnelian Heaven Foreskin I think you should be fine; sounds like something you should be able to manage.
Let me know if you start to feel over your head and we can discuss.
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Date: November 13th, 2014 7:07 PM Author: sinister clear ape hell Sounds good, thanks for the kind words. It's an honor and privilege to work with you on this matter. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2726147&forum_id=2id.#26710823) |
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Date: November 13th, 2014 9:17 PM Author: supple abode dingle berry I just got pulled onto another deal that is closing tonight, and the partner was having me run diligence. I should be able to hit the rest of the documents tonight. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2726147&forum_id=2id.#26711779) |
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Date: November 13th, 2014 9:20 PM Author: Carnelian Heaven Foreskin No need. One of the early bird associates took care of it.
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Date: November 13th, 2014 9:38 PM Author: supple abode dingle berry Alright, let me know if you need more help. I find this deal structure VERY interesting especially with the erisa angle. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2726147&forum_id=2id.#26711933) |
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Date: November 13th, 2014 9:20 PM Author: sinister clear ape hell *CCs entire team*
I've got about 2/3 of the way through and am at home right now. Mainlining, should we set up a call to bring Pumo up to speed and loop him in on the 20,000 foot view of things?
Thanesk,
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Date: November 13th, 2014 6:52 PM Author: Carnelian Heaven Foreskin Team,
First of all, thank you again for all your hard work last night. I reviewed all the summaries this morning and they were outstanding. This is an important client and your efforts have gone a long way.
._._._._.._._._._.._._._._.._._._._. notified me that we received some additional records. Only about 3K documents. I'm not sure if he is available to review them tonight or not. In the event he is indisposed, is anyone able to step up?
Waiting to hear back if the documents are scanned in. If not, this may involve returning to the office.
Currently at dinner but will be checking email periodically.
Best, |
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Date: November 13th, 2014 6:53 PM Author: sinister clear ape hell Mainlining,
I have some bandwidth this evening, and I can perform a review. Just to clarify, is this a review & summary, or just a review.
Thanks,
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Date: November 13th, 2014 6:59 PM Author: Carnelian Heaven Foreskin Same drill as last night. Thanks. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2726147&forum_id=2id.#26710777) |
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Date: November 13th, 2014 7:03 PM Author: Carnelian Heaven Foreskin Also, no need to be in the office for this. I know it's late.
Just review and summarize at your leisure--treat yourself with a glass of wine or something.
You've been working hard and it is not going unnoticed.
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Date: November 13th, 2014 8:13 PM Author: sinister clear ape hell ifaoegmiovmroenagnveanfaiokvnfn vakfmawekmfkrgmekl (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2726147&forum_id=2id.#26711259) |
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Date: November 13th, 2014 8:16 PM Author: sinister clear ape hell Apologies. I briefly left my Blackberry on the patio outside while I went in for a moment, and when I came back, a raccoon had seized it. I have wrestled control back from the raccoon.
Review is coming along at an excellent clip. I'll have a full report for you shortly.
Warmest Redguards,
Master |
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Date: November 13th, 2014 8:57 PM Author: dashing national security agency (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2726147&forum_id=2id.#26711666) |
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Date: November 13th, 2014 8:47 PM Author: galvanic site Sr. Associate,
I have reviewed the relevant documents. Attached please find a summary of the aforementioned documents. I am available to review more. Again, the opportunity to work with this team has been a pleasure.
thanks,
p.s. I dictated a color coded chart of the documents my sectary will have to your desk within the hour. |
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Date: November 13th, 2014 9:53 PM Author: French Pocket Flask Alpha i have two responses to this thread: #1: just threw up a little in my mouth and, #2: ljl lawyers
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Date: November 15th, 2014 3:12 AM Author: Carnelian Heaven Foreskin (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2726147&forum_id=2id.#26720812) |
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Date: November 15th, 2014 10:22 AM Author: Carnelian Heaven Foreskin (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2726147&forum_id=2id.#26721693) |
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Date: November 15th, 2014 11:22 AM Author: Carnelian Heaven Foreskin Team,
Hope everyone is having a fantastic Saturday morning. We just received seven (7) boxes that need to be reviewed by Monday 8 AM, no excuses.
Who can make it in today/tomorrow? This is very important to both me and the client. Thanks. |
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Date: November 15th, 2014 11:25 AM Author: sinister clear ape hell I'm still completing paperwork related to my conversation with HR from yesterday; I may have some bandwidth today but I'll definitely be available tomorrow to get some of this done. If there's anything I can do, please let me know.
Thank, |
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Date: November 15th, 2014 2:29 PM Author: sinister clear ape hell Subject: RE: Doc Review Turns out the date I thought I was going to have cancelled on me, so I've decided to fill the void in my weekend by doing doc review to keep the drinking at bay.
As mentioned in the 2014 Albums thread, there is a slight issue with some of the key documents that suggests malfeasance is afott.
Please see an attached link to that thread for your convenience. http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2728316&mc=6&forum_id=2&PHPSESSID=04690db5924919342de866097f0d1065#26722818
I remain, yr hmbl svt, Mstr Pse Agmt |
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Date: November 17th, 2014 11:52 AM Author: galvanic site Dear Sr. Associate:
As you know the yearly billing cycle is coming to a close. I was directed by my team leader that I could reach out to you for some additional work. Please let me know if there are any opportunities to work on any project, big or small!
Thank you,
Thank You, Jr. |
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Date: November 18th, 2014 11:02 PM Author: Carnelian Heaven Foreskin A discrete research assignment has appeared on my radar.
Are you free tomorrow afternoon? Let's discuss.
Thanks. |
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Date: November 18th, 2014 11:16 PM Author: galvanic site Free sir! I will be by
Thank you for this opportunity again! |
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Date: November 18th, 2014 11:17 PM Author: Carnelian Heaven Foreskin Perfect. See you at 9:30 AM.
Please read both attached cases before our discussion. Thanks. |
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Date: November 20th, 2014 8:43 PM Author: Hairraiser Philosopher-king Library (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2726147&forum_id=2id.#26760777) |
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Date: December 2nd, 2014 7:30 PM Author: Carnelian Heaven Foreskin (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2726147&forum_id=2id.#26844374) |
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Date: January 4th, 2015 10:36 PM Author: Carnelian Heaven Foreskin (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2726147&forum_id=2id.#27056061) |
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Date: January 5th, 2015 3:35 PM Author: beady-eyed gay wizard *sees mainlining across the room at firm holiday party with alumn invites*
*winks and makes gun motion with hand* |
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Date: January 21st, 2015 9:35 PM Author: Carnelian Heaven Foreskin (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2726147&forum_id=2id.#27161200) |
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Date: January 21st, 2015 9:52 PM Author: sinister clear ape hell (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2726147&forum_id=2id.#27161302) |
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Date: October 16th, 2021 9:42 AM Author: Carnelian Heaven Foreskin (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2726147&forum_id=2id.#43280938) |
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Date: January 27th, 2015 7:56 AM Author: Exhilarant incel stain this is one of the best threads ive ever read (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2726147&forum_id=2id.#27195591) |
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Date: January 27th, 2015 9:56 PM Author: Carnelian Heaven Foreskin (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2726147&forum_id=2id.#27200284) |
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Date: January 28th, 2015 9:53 PM Author: Carnelian Heaven Foreskin (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2726147&forum_id=2id.#27206250) |
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Date: February 15th, 2015 9:27 PM Author: Hairraiser Philosopher-king Library (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2726147&forum_id=2id.#27322940) |
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Date: February 23rd, 2015 9:29 PM Author: Carnelian Heaven Foreskin Team,
What is your availability over the next week? Important matter, looming deadlines. This project is key to getting everything in smooth working order as we move forward.
Will fill you in tomorrow. I have a call at 10 AM but do not anticipate it will spill over into the afternoon.
Thanks.
|
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Date: March 10th, 2015 10:34 PM Author: Carnelian Heaven Foreskin (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2726147&forum_id=2id.#27467196) |
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Date: March 10th, 2015 11:40 PM Author: snowy abnormal range "Hello . . . h, hello, is anybody still here?"
*50-something Of Counsel Who is Slowly Being Pushed Out of the Firm emerges from his interior office, his appearance now shockingly gollum-like*
"Yes, yes, somebody is here? Hello? I would be happy to assist you on a matter."
*circles floor desperately, peering like a strange bird of prey into every conference room that his pizza-honed nose detects as recently used*
"Anybody? ANYBODY AT ALL??? I can advise you on the implications of (hyper-technical point of law he desperately has been submitting articles about to every obscure industry journal and speaking about at every rats-ass holiday inn CLE event). Would that be OK? PLEASE I BEG YOU. Thansk." |
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Date: April 14th, 2015 11:21 PM Author: Carnelian Heaven Foreskin (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2726147&forum_id=2id.#27693528) |
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Date: April 14th, 2015 11:48 PM Author: milky ceo JFC (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2726147&forum_id=2id.#27693717) |
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Date: May 13th, 2015 11:49 PM Author: Carnelian Heaven Foreskin (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2726147&forum_id=2id.#27887037) |
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Date: June 2nd, 2015 12:04 AM Author: Carnelian Heaven Foreskin (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2726147&forum_id=2id.#28017805) |
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Date: June 21st, 2015 11:03 PM Author: Carnelian Heaven Foreskin (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2726147&forum_id=2id.#28174451) |
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Date: June 25th, 2015 4:22 PM Author: floppy lettuce (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2726147&forum_id=2id.#28199319) |
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Date: July 15th, 2015 8:34 PM Author: Carnelian Heaven Foreskin (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2726147&forum_id=2id.#28338554) |
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Date: September 18th, 2015 5:38 PM Author: Carnelian Heaven Foreskin (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2726147&forum_id=2id.#28786941) |
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Date: November 11th, 2015 7:31 PM Author: Carnelian Heaven Foreskin (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2726147&forum_id=2id.#29161842) |
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Date: November 12th, 2015 8:02 PM Author: Flushed Self-absorbed Box Office Masturbator Omg. 180s all around. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2726147&forum_id=2id.#29169525) |
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Date: November 12th, 2015 9:02 PM Author: sinister clear ape hell (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2726147&forum_id=2id.#29169982) |
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Date: November 13th, 2015 11:29 AM Author: beady-eyed gay wizard where are we on closing sets for this? thx (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2726147&forum_id=2id.#29173249) |
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Date: April 12th, 2016 1:00 AM Author: Carnelian Heaven Foreskin (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2726147&forum_id=2id.#30253928) |
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Date: May 12th, 2016 10:19 PM Author: fiercely-loyal mint dilemma This thread needs to be preserved so that future historians can see exactly what it was like to be a biglawyer in the early 21st century. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2726147&forum_id=2id.#30465760) |
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Date: July 21st, 2016 8:41 PM Author: Carnelian Heaven Foreskin (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2726147&forum_id=2id.#30993468) |
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Date: July 21st, 2016 9:37 PM Author: sinister clear ape hell (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2726147&forum_id=2id.#30994236) |
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Date: December 20th, 2016 11:18 PM Author: brilliant up-to-no-good theatre (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2726147&forum_id=2id.#32193631) |
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Date: December 20th, 2016 11:39 PM Author: trip olive meetinghouse There's a draft on the network.
But it's locked because Andy is still in it. |
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Date: July 21st, 2016 9:31 PM Author: bearded crackhouse nominated for top 10 threads of all time (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2726147&forum_id=2id.#30994158) |
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Date: August 31st, 2016 8:59 PM Author: Carnelian Heaven Foreskin (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2726147&forum_id=2id.#31309650) |
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Date: December 5th, 2016 11:16 PM Author: Carnelian Heaven Foreskin (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2726147&forum_id=2id.#32065622) |
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Date: September 18th, 2016 10:01 PM Author: Carnelian Heaven Foreskin (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2726147&forum_id=2id.#31439710) |
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Date: December 20th, 2016 11:00 PM Author: Carnelian Heaven Foreskin (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2726147&forum_id=2id.#32193458) |
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Date: January 18th, 2017 12:09 AM Author: Carnelian Heaven Foreskin (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2726147&forum_id=2id.#32396865) |
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pls chk wth records. thx. |
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