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very sad (or sick!) to see shitlib women furiously masturbate to Handmaid's Tale

ohhhhh i can't believe how timely this is what a warning to ...
lascivious big-titted windowlicker
  04/30/18
lmfao
Contagious Useless Stain Stead
  04/30/18
Its like some William Faulkner level stream of conciousness
ivory autistic state affirmative action
  04/30/18
...
Cowardly Gunner
  06/09/19
...
Talented resort
  10/13/20
...
Puce range
  10/28/21
...
exciting brass theater stage
  04/30/18
...
Vigorous Brunch Filthpig
  04/30/18
WOKE AS FUK
Comical wagecucks
  04/30/18
...
Flatulent Pit Trump Supporter
  06/24/18
this is scholarship of the highest order. you are now Sir Ri...
grizzly orchestra pit
  06/24/18
...
Blue beady-eyed locus old irish cottage
  06/24/18
...
Opaque wonderful stag film
  06/24/18
...
bossy vermilion center people who are hurt
  10/28/21
180 Joyce
cerebral olive business firm
  06/24/18
unadulterated 180
bisexual church dopamine
  06/24/18
...
rusted histrionic forum
  06/24/18
...
Wine hilarious hall
  06/24/18
"Binders full of women" in latest episode not flam...
lascivious big-titted windowlicker
  06/09/19
YUP. It’s like they got bored of Trump references (...
Cowardly Gunner
  06/09/19
...
pea-brained spruce parlor halford
  06/09/19
this OP is seriously a masterpiece
Contagious Useless Stain Stead
  06/09/19
...
Talented resort
  06/09/19
...
Talented resort
  12/01/21
...
DrakeMallardxo
  08/24/25
i'm guessing OP's name IRL is jonah
Big burgundy heaven
  06/09/19
this has aged exceedingly well
bisexual church dopamine
  06/09/19
...
Cowardly Gunner
  06/09/19
...
Talented resort
  06/10/19
...
glittery silver meetinghouse dog poop
  06/10/19
you're playing to your audience, fine, but this is clearly w...
Charismatic Snowy Macaca
  06/10/19
cr. "cock," "pound." but sometimes u ju...
demanding patrolman psychic
  06/10/19
pure praise would mean his talent has nowhere else to go her...
Charismatic Snowy Macaca
  06/10/19
...
Talented resort
  06/10/19
18000
Sienna metal dragon
  06/10/19
megan mcardle i think had a good column on how ridiculous th...
talking prole athletic conference
  06/10/19
John Dolan wrote the GOAT POTUS review... twenty years ago. ...
Garnet french chef
  06/10/19
Holy shit, this is great "Handmaid’s Tale is mea...
Racy Theatre
  06/10/19
also lol @ VCR.
Garnet french chef
  06/10/19
This was written in 2000, but it fits in seamlessly with xo ...
Racy Theatre
  06/10/19
This guy is an XO Ted level visionary
glittery silver meetinghouse dog poop
  06/10/19
...
Free-loading bat shit crazy useless brakes love of her life
  06/10/19
...
glittery silver meetinghouse dog poop
  06/10/19
lol, whoa
Free-loading bat shit crazy useless brakes love of her life
  06/10/19
holy shit "And in the meantime, what has Atwood&rsqu...
Free-loading bat shit crazy useless brakes love of her life
  06/10/19
...
Talented resort
  06/10/19
...
glittery silver meetinghouse dog poop
  06/10/19
whoa cr
Chocolate Soggy Preventive Strike
  06/10/19
...
Avocado dead bawdyhouse
  06/10/19
this is an amazing article
demanding patrolman psychic
  01/23/20
!!!
bossy vermilion center people who are hurt
  10/28/21
"wretched office-worker who goes home to a cat" ...
hairraiser faggot firefighter
  06/10/19
...
Avocado dead bawdyhouse
  06/10/19
“No one wants to force middle-class American women to ...
glittery silver meetinghouse dog poop
  06/10/19
The eXile was an early dose of REDPILL for me even though th...
Garnet french chef
  06/10/19
...
Free-loading bat shit crazy useless brakes love of her life
  06/10/19
whoah
demanding patrolman psychic
  06/10/19
...
Motley ultramarine house
  06/10/19
holy shit
Chocolate Soggy Preventive Strike
  06/10/19
holy fuck
Contagious Useless Stain Stead
  06/10/19
Cot damn
Talented resort
  06/10/19
...
White bateful shrine goal in life
  05/09/21
!!!
bossy vermilion center people who are hurt
  10/28/21
this is scholarship
Salmon personal credit line stage
  10/24/24
fatality
Unholy Spot Travel Guidebook
  06/10/19
...
pea-brained spruce parlor halford
  06/10/19
Does this guy have any thoughts on MAGA?
Cowardly Gunner
  06/15/19
...
Marvelous Dark Partner Institution
  10/28/21
...
bossy vermilion center people who are hurt
  10/28/21
this is so damn good I'm copy pasting the whole thing: THE ...
Marvelous Dark Partner Institution
  10/28/21
Lmao is this really the story of the show?
Appetizing dingle berry mediation
  06/10/19
...
cerebral olive business firm
  06/10/19
...
Chartreuse cruise ship
  06/10/19
...
magenta mildly autistic plaza selfie
  06/10/19
...
Talented resort
  01/23/20
...
pea-brained spruce parlor halford
  01/23/20
...
khaki fanboi
  01/23/20
...
Talented resort
  12/01/21
...
Chocolate Soggy Preventive Strike
  12/01/21
...
bronze floppy idiot gas station
  12/01/21
This and the "inside a lady's head" one are like b...
Titillating mustard national blood rage
  07/01/22
...
Titillating mustard national blood rage
  10/01/23
...
Titillating mustard national blood rage
  02/20/24
...
Titillating mustard national blood rage
  10/24/24


Poast new message in this thread



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2018 11:23 AM
Author: lascivious big-titted windowlicker

ohhhhh i can't believe how timely this is what a warning to women trying to survive in trump's america so many parallels to modern america i'd never let something like that happen jonah and i already have plans to run away to canada i'd get right in those soldiers faces and tell them they can't oppress my body of course they would try to force me to be a handmaid a very powerful commander would claim me and his wife would not be as hot as me but i'd struggle i'd struggle oh yes even though they would overpower me and he'd ravage me with his big commander cock he'd pound me and pound me and there'd be nothing i could do oh no oh no but i'd scratch and claw except his wife would hold me down that bitch she'd resent me for making him cum in my womb and give him beautiful children he'd sneak me goodies and treats and show me off at jezebels that sick patriarchal bastard but jonah wouldn't be able to find me i'd have to move on and be strong and live for me and my children and eventually i'd seduce the commander so good that he helps me become his real wife and we'd have the power then so i could help people fuck trump for trying to put this in practice pretty much an owners manual for him and pence those fuckers they'll never get to fuck me

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2most#35949672)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2018 11:28 AM
Author: Contagious Useless Stain Stead

lmfao

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2most#35949690)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2018 11:30 AM
Author: ivory autistic state affirmative action

Its like some William Faulkner level stream of conciousness

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2most#35949706)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 9th, 2019 11:28 PM
Author: Cowardly Gunner



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2most#38365108)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 13th, 2020 12:49 PM
Author: Talented resort



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2most#41103220)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 28th, 2021 5:28 AM
Author: Puce range



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2most#43342786)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2018 11:31 AM
Author: exciting brass theater stage



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2most#35949712)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2018 11:33 AM
Author: Vigorous Brunch Filthpig



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2most#35949736)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2018 11:35 AM
Author: Comical wagecucks

WOKE AS FUK

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2most#35949749)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 24th, 2018 7:47 PM
Author: Flatulent Pit Trump Supporter



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2most#36303022)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 24th, 2018 7:48 PM
Author: grizzly orchestra pit

this is scholarship of the highest order. you are now Sir Risten.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2most#36303030)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 24th, 2018 7:50 PM
Author: Blue beady-eyed locus old irish cottage



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2most#36303036)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 24th, 2018 7:56 PM
Author: Opaque wonderful stag film



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2most#36303065)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 28th, 2021 12:18 AM
Author: bossy vermilion center people who are hurt



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2most#43342024)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 24th, 2018 7:53 PM
Author: cerebral olive business firm

180 Joyce

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2most#36303053)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 24th, 2018 7:57 PM
Author: bisexual church dopamine

unadulterated 180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2most#36303071)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 24th, 2018 7:58 PM
Author: rusted histrionic forum



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2most#36303081)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 24th, 2018 8:05 PM
Author: Wine hilarious hall



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2most#36303131)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 9th, 2019 10:31 PM
Author: lascivious big-titted windowlicker

"Binders full of women" in latest episode not flame

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2most#38364783)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 9th, 2019 11:29 PM
Author: Cowardly Gunner

YUP.

It’s like they got bored of Trump references (did you also catch the lesbian refugee demanding not to be separated from the unrelated infant she was carrying?) and so decided to throw in a Romney dig for old time’s sake.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2most#38365120)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 9th, 2019 10:32 PM
Author: pea-brained spruce parlor halford



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2most#38364791)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 9th, 2019 10:36 PM
Author: Contagious Useless Stain Stead

this OP is seriously a masterpiece

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2most#38364811)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 9th, 2019 10:40 PM
Author: Talented resort



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2most#38364852)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 1st, 2021 2:31 PM
Author: Talented resort



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2most#43540325)



Reply Favorite

Date: August 24th, 2025 11:59 AM
Author: DrakeMallardxo (🦆)



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2most#49208954)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 9th, 2019 10:39 PM
Author: Big burgundy heaven

i'm guessing OP's name IRL is jonah

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2most#38364835)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 9th, 2019 10:52 PM
Author: bisexual church dopamine

this has aged exceedingly well

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2most#38364924)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 9th, 2019 11:30 PM
Author: Cowardly Gunner



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2most#38365122)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 10th, 2019 12:01 PM
Author: Talented resort



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2most#38366924)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 10th, 2019 3:40 PM
Author: glittery silver meetinghouse dog poop



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2most#38368355)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 10th, 2019 12:05 PM
Author: Charismatic Snowy Macaca

you're playing to your audience, fine, but this is clearly written by a man

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2most#38366957)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 10th, 2019 3:33 PM
Author: demanding patrolman psychic

cr. "cock," "pound." but sometimes u just let it slide you know?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2most#38368292)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 10th, 2019 4:34 PM
Author: Charismatic Snowy Macaca

pure praise would mean his talent has nowhere else to go here

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2most#38368687)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 10th, 2019 3:16 PM
Author: Talented resort



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2most#38368206)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 10th, 2019 3:28 PM
Author: Sienna metal dragon

18000

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2most#38368272)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 10th, 2019 3:29 PM
Author: talking prole athletic conference

megan mcardle i think had a good column on how ridiculous the handmaid's tale is happening! meme is

https://www.bloomberg.com/opinion/articles/2017-04-25/no-the-handmaid-s-tale-is-not-unexpectedly-timely

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2most#38368275)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 10th, 2019 3:33 PM
Author: Garnet french chef

John Dolan wrote the GOAT POTUS review... twenty years ago.

http://exiledonline.com/old-exile/vault/books/review103.html

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2most#38368294)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 10th, 2019 3:37 PM
Author: Racy Theatre

Holy shit, this is great

"Handmaid’s Tale is meant to reassure every wretched office-worker who goes home to a cat, a VCR, and Pizza-for-one that her life is noble and progressive."

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2most#38368320)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 10th, 2019 3:38 PM
Author: Garnet french chef

also lol @ VCR.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2most#38368327)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 10th, 2019 3:42 PM
Author: Racy Theatre

This was written in 2000, but it fits in seamlessly with xo themes on GC and shrewdom. A true visionary.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2most#38368374)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 10th, 2019 3:47 PM
Author: glittery silver meetinghouse dog poop

This guy is an XO Ted level visionary

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2most#38368393)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 10th, 2019 3:48 PM
Author: Free-loading bat shit crazy useless brakes love of her life



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2most#38368400)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 10th, 2019 3:41 PM
Author: glittery silver meetinghouse dog poop



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2most#38368361)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 10th, 2019 3:42 PM
Author: Free-loading bat shit crazy useless brakes love of her life

lol, whoa

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2most#38368367)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 10th, 2019 3:44 PM
Author: Free-loading bat shit crazy useless brakes love of her life

holy shit

"And in the meantime, what has Atwood’s Utopia done, in real political terms? It has managed to distract a whole generation of Americanized women from the real fear and awful loneliness of their office lives. In this way, Atwood’s Canada of the Spirit is, like its real-world counterpart, the good-cop tool, the quaking valet of its Vampire master, America. Atwood’s Canada offers no answer to the Americanized women whose only family is Allie MacBeal and her friends. After all, they’re not rednecks, they’re not Fundamentalists. In fact, the horrible lives of every woman who tries to live out Allie MacBeal is rendered noble by reading Handmaid’s Tale. "

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2most#38368382)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 10th, 2019 3:45 PM
Author: Talented resort



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2most#38368388)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 10th, 2019 3:46 PM
Author: glittery silver meetinghouse dog poop



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2most#38368391)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 10th, 2019 4:11 PM
Author: Chocolate Soggy Preventive Strike

whoa cr

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2most#38368548)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 10th, 2019 5:01 PM
Author: Avocado dead bawdyhouse



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2most#38368821)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 23rd, 2020 10:16 AM
Author: demanding patrolman psychic

this is an amazing article

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2most#39475589)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 28th, 2021 12:14 AM
Author: bossy vermilion center people who are hurt

!!!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2most#43341991)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 10th, 2019 3:47 PM
Author: hairraiser faggot firefighter

"wretched office-worker who goes home to a cat"

imo this guy should get credit for identifying the modern shrew

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2most#38368399)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 10th, 2019 4:59 PM
Author: Avocado dead bawdyhouse



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2most#38368816)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 10th, 2019 3:45 PM
Author: glittery silver meetinghouse dog poop

“No one wants to force middle-class American women to have babies. In fact, it’s almost impossible for them to contemplate having kids, because they’re terrified that it might set them back in their careers, and their rivals in the adjacent cubicles would grab their parking spaces and health plans. Nobody wants to use their bodies. That’s precisely the horror with which they live: no one wants to mate with them because in their world, every single striver must fear every other, and the sort of joint action involved in mating and rearing one’s young is impossible—laughable, a thing which only those who have abandoned the hope of A Career can contemplate. So in their minds, mating and rearing children moves down in class, becoming a thing for rednecks and (though they’ll never say this part out loud) immigrants-of-col”

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2most#38368389)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 10th, 2019 3:47 PM
Author: Garnet french chef

The eXile was an early dose of REDPILL for me even though the writes are all lefty degenerates.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2most#38368394)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 10th, 2019 3:47 PM
Author: Free-loading bat shit crazy useless brakes love of her life



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2most#38368397)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 10th, 2019 3:58 PM
Author: demanding patrolman psychic

whoah

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2most#38368476)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 10th, 2019 4:09 PM
Author: Motley ultramarine house



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2most#38368537)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 10th, 2019 4:12 PM
Author: Chocolate Soggy Preventive Strike

holy shit

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2most#38368558)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 10th, 2019 4:46 PM
Author: Contagious Useless Stain Stead

holy fuck

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2most#38368731)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 10th, 2019 5:28 PM
Author: Talented resort

Cot damn

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2most#38368965)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 9th, 2021 3:27 PM
Author: White bateful shrine goal in life



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2most#42430424)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 28th, 2021 12:15 AM
Author: bossy vermilion center people who are hurt

!!!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2most#43341997)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 24th, 2024 11:17 PM
Author: Salmon personal credit line stage

this is scholarship

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2most#48237594)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 10th, 2019 4:05 PM
Author: Unholy Spot Travel Guidebook

fatality

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2most#38368513)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 10th, 2019 5:56 PM
Author: pea-brained spruce parlor halford



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2most#38369105)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 15th, 2019 2:37 PM
Author: Cowardly Gunner

Does this guy have any thoughts on MAGA?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2most#38393148)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 28th, 2021 12:05 AM
Author: Marvelous Dark Partner Institution



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2most#43341948)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 28th, 2021 12:15 AM
Author: bossy vermilion center people who are hurt



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2most#43342001)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 28th, 2021 3:46 AM
Author: Marvelous Dark Partner Institution

this is so damn good I'm copy pasting the whole thing:

THE WINNER OF THE MARK DAVID CHAPMAN LITERARY PRIZE:

#1: Canadian Women ou Les Hoes Canucqois

By John Dolan

Just as I was finishing this column naming Margaret Atwood the Queen of Dunces, I heard she’d won this year’s Booker Prize. Once again, the mainstream press tries to scoop the eXile! There must be a leak somewhere in our ranks. Luckily, we have a roof which specializes in closing leaks, no matter how many fingernails or bamboo slivers it takes. Besides, what a transparent ploy, giving the Booker to Atwood! Atwood IS the Booker; she incarnates it; how can you award it to her? It’s like giving the Nobel to Nobel. Atwood is the prototype of the vaguely leftist, mainstream-feminist Commonwealth novelist for whom the Booker is reserved. Her name is legion: Barbara Kingsolver, Keri Hulme, Nadine Gordimer—these are her handmaids. Kingsolver, nominally American; Hulme, Kiwi; and Gordimer, South African white; all these are drawn like honking geese toward Atwood’s Kanada, spiritual home of all moderate-progressive white folk.

Kanada is the destination of Offred, the heroine of The Handmaid’s Tale, when she flees the Fundamentalist-ruled US. The notion that the Canadian border constitutes sanctuary might seem somewhat risible, since Ontario had considerable trouble repelling an 1867 invasion by forty-odd drunken Fenians armed with broken bottles and sticks. But Atwood refers here, not to a mere traffic jam full of Torontans smuggling home cheap VCRs, but a border between spiritual realms. Hers is a higher Canada, which exists among virtuous, slightly dim middlebrows everywhere in the world. This Greater Canada stretches from the two-square-meter bedrooms of ESL teachers in Kyoto to the jacuzzis of billionaire “progressives” in Malibu.

The scare-stories with which Atwood frigs her readers are distinguished by their foolish irrelevance. Take this alleged masterpiece, The Handmaid’s Tale. A foolish book, it depicts Hell as imagined by an anglo-Canadian mandarin: America ruled by savage uncultured Christians who not only repress all intellectual freedoms but would probably cut funding for genteel novelists. Worst of all, women in this Republic of Gilead are valued solely for their ability to bear children, restricted to the house and excluded from economic activity.

No one who knows anything about the way America works would ever really think that its rulers would want to let silly gender prejudices keep them from creating new consumers, much less let religion get in the way of productivity. The Baptist loonies are suckers to be wooed in election years, no more. They are useful as janitors in peacetime, cannon-fodder in war. Making them into the rulers of a nightmare vision of America is, by a charitable estimation, very naive. If we were to consider it less charitably, it might seem downright suspect. Atwood, who shares about 99.9% of her DNA with America’s real rulers, cannot see them at all, and so fails to notice their hegemony. As she confessed in boasting about her achievement in Handmaid’s Tale, she borrowed horror-stories about the treatment of women in loser countries like Iraq and applied them to the US. Apparently she could not see the horror which really does suffuse American life—a horror which has absolutely nothing to do with that losers’ club, Islam.

Handmaid’s Tale is meant to reassure every wretched office-worker who goes home to a cat, a VCR, and Pizza-for-one that her life is noble and progressive. Handmaid’s Tale is fun horror-fiction for women who work in the American-style cubicle-world precisely because it’s so utterly unrelated to the miseries and terrors of their own lives. No one wants to force middle-class American women to have babies. In fact, it’s almost impossible for them to contemplate having kids, because they’re terrified that it might set them back in their careers, and their rivals in the adjacent cubicles would grab their parking spaces and health plans. Nobody wants to use their bodies. That’s precisely the horror with which they live: no one wants to mate with them because in their world, every single striver must fear every other, and the sort of joint action involved in mating and rearing one’s young is impossible—laughable, a thing which only those who have abandoned the hope of A Career can contemplate. So in their minds, mating and rearing children moves down in class, becoming a thing for rednecks and (though they’ll never say this part out loud) immigrants-of-color. The desire to have children gets bounced outside oneself, onto these lesser beings, and returns, courtesy of Atwood, in demonized form, as the tyranny of procreation, family values and the Patriarchy. It’s the horror they love to fear.

And in the meantime, what has Atwood’s Utopia done, in real political terms? It has managed to distract a whole generation of Americanized women from the real fear and awful loneliness of their office lives. In this way, Atwood’s Canada of the Spirit is, like its real-world counterpart, the good-cop tool, the quaking valet of its Vampire master, America. Atwood’s Canada offers no answer to the Americanized women whose only family is Allie MacBeal and her friends. After all, they’re not rednecks, they’re not Fundamentalists. In fact, the horrible lives of every woman who tries to live out Allie MacBeal is rendered noble by reading Handmaid’s Tale.

So the owners of the cubicles rejoice in the intra-cranial vacations their slaves take in Atwood’s astral Canada. Let them crusade against the Republic of Gilead. Let them invest their wretched slaves’ lives with nobility. The real Republic of Gilead is a matter of dividends, not religion. It would never let the religious obsessions of its cannon-fodder voters interrupt the real business of America—the business carried out in the cubicles. If Allie and Margaret can scatter a cheap glitter over the walls of the cubicles, all the better.

It seems horribly apt that Atwood should win the Booker on the day Bush assumes the presidency. Atwood’s pious, dimwitted, credulous female Canada is the perfect handmaid for Bush’s under-the-table America. Their union is blessed with new offspring every day, every hour. As the coral reefs crumble, the cubicles invade. And everywhere they breed, from Kuala Lumpur to Samara, volumes of Atwood appear like Gideon Bibles at the desks of the corporate handmaids, telling them their lives are blessed.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2most#43342614)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 10th, 2019 3:32 PM
Author: Appetizing dingle berry mediation

Lmao is this really the story of the show?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2most#38368289)



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Date: June 10th, 2019 4:15 PM
Author: cerebral olive business firm



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2most#38368575)



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Date: June 10th, 2019 4:35 PM
Author: Chartreuse cruise ship



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2most#38368690)



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Date: June 10th, 2019 4:59 PM
Author: magenta mildly autistic plaza selfie



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2most#38368814)



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Date: January 23rd, 2020 10:13 AM
Author: Talented resort



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2most#39475560)



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Date: January 23rd, 2020 10:13 AM
Author: pea-brained spruce parlor halford



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2most#39475562)



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Date: January 23rd, 2020 10:13 AM
Author: khaki fanboi



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2most#39475565)



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Date: December 1st, 2021 2:11 PM
Author: Talented resort



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2most#43540168)



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Date: December 1st, 2021 2:12 PM
Author: Chocolate Soggy Preventive Strike



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2most#43540180)



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Date: December 1st, 2021 2:35 PM
Author: bronze floppy idiot gas station



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2most#43540344)



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Date: July 1st, 2022 10:43 AM
Author: Titillating mustard national blood rage

This and the "inside a lady's head" one are like bookends.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2most#44778169)



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Date: October 1st, 2023 8:48 PM
Author: Titillating mustard national blood rage



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2most#46870785)



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Date: February 20th, 2024 2:45 PM
Author: Titillating mustard national blood rage



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2most#47420608)



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Date: October 24th, 2024 11:06 PM
Author: Titillating mustard national blood rage



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2most#48237576)