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used aquatic ape hypothesis to pick up an objective 4 in DC

Monday night after doc review I joined a few buddies for dri...
mustard chest-beating wagecucks gas station
  03/26/13
sick brah, what are you gonna use the cash for?
Greedy Excitant Coldplay Fan Codepig
  03/26/13
spent it all on metro fare that very night
mustard chest-beating wagecucks gas station
  03/26/13
180
Irradiated black weed whacker
  03/26/13
shit man
mustard chest-beating wagecucks gas station
  03/26/13
"Thankfully, she did not know that gorillas had been ob...
contagious striped hyena wrinkle
  03/26/13
Oh, what a scholar!
Stimulating Toaster Resort
  03/26/13
ty
mustard chest-beating wagecucks gas station
  03/26/13
gay bar?
dark zippy plaza headpube
  03/26/13
I don't think so? It was this place http://www.yelp.com/b...
mustard chest-beating wagecucks gas station
  03/26/13
oh man when you said at dupont you were not bullshitting. a...
dark zippy plaza headpube
  03/26/13
Were you drinking water? A cocktail there costs 10+
multi-colored judgmental friendly grandma laser beams
  03/27/13
Have you considered the possibility that I could afford to p...
mustard chest-beating wagecucks gas station
  03/27/13
...
seedy elite garrison
  03/26/13
...
mustard chest-beating wagecucks gas station
  03/26/13
...
mustard chest-beating wagecucks gas station
  03/27/13
revisit w/ her to the lawn, regale us with tales of scholars...
Abusive Bright Dingle Berry Bbw
  03/27/13
what lawn
mustard chest-beating wagecucks gas station
  03/27/13
just take her to c-ville, gold cup race is comin up
Abusive Bright Dingle Berry Bbw
  03/27/13
I haven't even called her yet. Should I tomorrow? Should...
mustard chest-beating wagecucks gas station
  03/27/13
hey she sounds kewt in a bookish way, ofs!
Abusive Bright Dingle Berry Bbw
  03/27/13
what are the most prestigious library science grad programs ...
mustard chest-beating wagecucks gas station
  03/27/13
georgetown is pretty cool imo, go hoyas!
Abusive Bright Dingle Berry Bbw
  03/27/13
holy fuck 180
Histrionic chapel generalized bond
  03/27/13
...
mustard chest-beating wagecucks gas station
  03/27/13
...
Electric address
  03/27/13
...
mustard chest-beating wagecucks gas station
  03/27/13
these threads are always enjoyable
aphrodisiac free-loading native lettuce
  03/27/13
one hundred and eighty
olive razzle telephone base
  03/27/13
Macaques are so legit.
indecent shrine
  03/27/13
...
Stimulating Toaster Resort
  03/27/13
http://iloveprimates.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/12/Japanese...
indecent shrine
  03/27/13
this is what happens when the bro clique meets up
Stimulating Toaster Resort
  03/27/13
...
Turquoise Party Of The First Part
  11/22/17
Great job, op.
Frisky keepsake machete
  03/27/13
...
mustard chest-beating wagecucks gas station
  03/27/13
UPDATE: I called her a few days ago, left a message, and got...
mustard chest-beating wagecucks gas station
  03/29/13
this wasn't flame?
contagious striped hyena wrinkle
  03/29/13
pretty sure the Delaware thing is flame, sadly
mustard chest-beating wagecucks gas station
  03/29/13
:(
Brass cracking half-breed abode
  03/31/16
...
mustard chest-beating wagecucks gas station
  07/10/14
...
ruby learning disabled police squad
  05/29/15
...
pink startling theater stage
  07/08/15
...
ruby learning disabled police squad
  03/31/16
...
Umber organic girlfriend
  03/31/16
...
Exciting coiffed piazza degenerate
  11/22/17
...
Exciting coiffed piazza degenerate
  05/16/18


Poast new message in this thread



Reply Favorite

Date: March 26th, 2013 7:33 PM
Author: mustard chest-beating wagecucks gas station

Monday night after doc review I joined a few buddies for drinks in DuPont circle. The place they took me looked pretty fancy, and about a half hour into it I realized that I wasn't going to able to fit my tab into my weekly budget.

I had one option: I needed to win a bet.

I look over and see some girls at the bar. I tell my buddy, hey, I bet you $10 that I can talk to one of those girls for half an hour on the topic of your choice.

After the laughs died down, and he realized I was serious, he agreed, and even brought it down to twenty minutes. And he gave me a topic: evolutionary biology.

Now, I haven't taken a biology class since 10th grade. But I really need this ten bucks. So I go over to the bar, and I pick out the girl who sticks out at me the most. Literally.

From the condition of her face, this girl was about 28. Slightly wrinkled, but still capable of looking fresh in good lighting with good makeup. She was taller than me, and I am 5'11, with dark black hair that's slightly curly. She had long arms, long legs, and a long, bony abdomen, with barely a hint of body fat. She looked like every tall, lanky male nerd I had ever seen, if any of them wore wigs. The only things even remotely thick about her were her rectangular glasses and her eyebrows, which were a bit on the bushy side.

I make some introductory small-talk. The entire time, my buddy is standing behind me, pointing to his watch. The clock on my twenty minutes won't stop until I bring up evolutionary biology.

I learn about her life. She went to NC State, then entered a History PhD program at UVA. She dropped out of it after earning her masters, and now is in library school in DC. Her parents? Scientists.

Aha! That was my in!

"So what does your dad think of the aquatic ape theory?"

"Aquatic what?

"You know, the idea that humans went through an aquatic state early in their evolution?"

She was hooked. I led her through all of the major talking points of the hypothesis, while also making casual contact. Hairlessness, webbed feet, a descended larynx, suspiciously high encephalization. Our love of swimming, and the ease with which we learn it. The fact that there were large lakes near every single fossil site where early man was discovered.

I needed her to ask questions, to push back, and she did. She knew that macaques in Japan enjoyed taking baths in hot geothermic pools. I needed to hold my own, and I did, rebutting these with arguments I knew were shit. Thankfully, she did not know that gorillas had been observed wading for fun in the wild: if she did my night would have been over.

Twenty three minutes later, I had a phone number. Twenty four minutes later, as soon as the door closed behind her, I got ten bucks.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2214561&forum_id=2#22885477)



Reply Favorite

Date: March 26th, 2013 7:39 PM
Author: Greedy Excitant Coldplay Fan Codepig

sick brah, what are you gonna use the cash for?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2214561&forum_id=2#22885518)



Reply Favorite

Date: March 26th, 2013 7:41 PM
Author: mustard chest-beating wagecucks gas station

spent it all on metro fare that very night

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2214561&forum_id=2#22885533)



Reply Favorite

Date: March 26th, 2013 8:12 PM
Author: Irradiated black weed whacker

180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2214561&forum_id=2#22885663)



Reply Favorite

Date: March 26th, 2013 9:01 PM
Author: mustard chest-beating wagecucks gas station

shit man

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2214561&forum_id=2#22885915)



Reply Favorite

Date: March 26th, 2013 7:40 PM
Author: contagious striped hyena wrinkle

"Thankfully, she did not know that gorillas had been observed wading for fun in the wild: if she did my night would have been over." lol, 180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2214561&forum_id=2#22885529)



Reply Favorite

Date: March 26th, 2013 7:41 PM
Author: Stimulating Toaster Resort

Oh, what a scholar!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2214561&forum_id=2#22885535)



Reply Favorite

Date: March 26th, 2013 7:48 PM
Author: mustard chest-beating wagecucks gas station

ty

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2214561&forum_id=2#22885574)



Reply Favorite

Date: March 26th, 2013 7:50 PM
Author: dark zippy plaza headpube

gay bar?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2214561&forum_id=2#22885582)



Reply Favorite

Date: March 26th, 2013 7:51 PM
Author: mustard chest-beating wagecucks gas station

I don't think so? It was this place

http://www.yelp.com/biz/bar-dupont-washington-2

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2214561&forum_id=2#22885586)



Reply Favorite

Date: March 26th, 2013 7:52 PM
Author: dark zippy plaza headpube

oh man when you said at dupont you were not bullshitting. anyway i dont know i never been that place to know if gay or not.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2214561&forum_id=2#22885594)



Reply Favorite

Date: March 27th, 2013 12:59 AM
Author: multi-colored judgmental friendly grandma laser beams

Were you drinking water? A cocktail there costs 10+

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2214561&forum_id=2#22887894)



Reply Favorite

Date: March 27th, 2013 1:01 AM
Author: mustard chest-beating wagecucks gas station

Have you considered the possibility that I could afford to pay for part, but not all, of my tab?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2214561&forum_id=2#22887903)



Reply Favorite

Date: March 26th, 2013 7:51 PM
Author: seedy elite garrison



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2214561&forum_id=2#22885587)



Reply Favorite

Date: March 26th, 2013 8:07 PM
Author: mustard chest-beating wagecucks gas station



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2214561&forum_id=2#22885645)



Reply Favorite

Date: March 27th, 2013 12:56 AM
Author: mustard chest-beating wagecucks gas station



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2214561&forum_id=2#22887862)



Reply Favorite

Date: March 27th, 2013 12:58 AM
Author: Abusive Bright Dingle Berry Bbw

revisit w/ her to the lawn, regale us with tales of scholarship

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2214561&forum_id=2#22887872)



Reply Favorite

Date: March 27th, 2013 12:58 AM
Author: mustard chest-beating wagecucks gas station

what lawn

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2214561&forum_id=2#22887878)



Reply Favorite

Date: March 27th, 2013 1:01 AM
Author: Abusive Bright Dingle Berry Bbw

just take her to c-ville, gold cup race is comin up

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2214561&forum_id=2#22887905)



Reply Favorite

Date: March 27th, 2013 1:02 AM
Author: mustard chest-beating wagecucks gas station

I haven't even called her yet. Should I tomorrow?

Should I introduce myself as the aquatic ape guy?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2214561&forum_id=2#22887914)



Reply Favorite

Date: March 27th, 2013 1:03 AM
Author: Abusive Bright Dingle Berry Bbw

hey she sounds kewt in a bookish way, ofs!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2214561&forum_id=2#22887920)



Reply Favorite

Date: March 27th, 2013 1:04 AM
Author: mustard chest-beating wagecucks gas station

what are the most prestigious library science grad programs in DC?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2214561&forum_id=2#22887934)



Reply Favorite

Date: March 27th, 2013 1:05 AM
Author: Abusive Bright Dingle Berry Bbw

georgetown is pretty cool imo, go hoyas!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2214561&forum_id=2#22887945)



Reply Favorite

Date: March 27th, 2013 1:03 AM
Author: Histrionic chapel generalized bond

holy fuck 180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2214561&forum_id=2#22887926)



Reply Favorite

Date: March 27th, 2013 11:09 AM
Author: mustard chest-beating wagecucks gas station



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2214561&forum_id=2#22889158)



Reply Favorite

Date: March 27th, 2013 11:12 AM
Author: Electric address



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2214561&forum_id=2#22889176)



Reply Favorite

Date: March 27th, 2013 7:12 PM
Author: mustard chest-beating wagecucks gas station



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2214561&forum_id=2#22891903)



Reply Favorite

Date: March 27th, 2013 7:21 PM
Author: aphrodisiac free-loading native lettuce

these threads are always enjoyable

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2214561&forum_id=2#22891959)



Reply Favorite

Date: March 27th, 2013 7:24 PM
Author: olive razzle telephone base

one hundred and eighty

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2214561&forum_id=2#22891977)



Reply Favorite

Date: March 27th, 2013 7:24 PM
Author: indecent shrine

Macaques are so legit.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2214561&forum_id=2#22891978)



Reply Favorite

Date: March 27th, 2013 7:30 PM
Author: Stimulating Toaster Resort



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2214561&forum_id=2#22892024)



Reply Favorite

Date: March 27th, 2013 7:30 PM
Author: indecent shrine

http://iloveprimates.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/12/Japanese_macaque_2.jpg

http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-BGFV7wO_34c/TwehHn5vZ3I/AAAAAAAACg4/j57hVnqd6HE/s1600/SnowMonkeys-Japan.jpg

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2214561&forum_id=2#22892027)



Reply Favorite

Date: March 27th, 2013 7:32 PM
Author: Stimulating Toaster Resort

this is what happens when the bro clique meets up

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2214561&forum_id=2#22892038)



Reply Favorite

Date: November 22nd, 2017 11:42 PM
Author: Turquoise Party Of The First Part



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2214561&forum_id=2#34753729)



Reply Favorite

Date: March 27th, 2013 8:01 PM
Author: Frisky keepsake machete

Great job, op.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2214561&forum_id=2#22892197)



Reply Favorite

Date: March 27th, 2013 10:56 PM
Author: mustard chest-beating wagecucks gas station



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2214561&forum_id=2#22893258)



Reply Favorite

Date: March 29th, 2013 11:01 PM
Author: mustard chest-beating wagecucks gas station

UPDATE: I called her a few days ago, left a message, and got a text on Thursday night saying she would be out of town in DELAWARE this weekend

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2214561&forum_id=2#22904014)



Reply Favorite

Date: March 29th, 2013 11:05 PM
Author: contagious striped hyena wrinkle

this wasn't flame?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2214561&forum_id=2#22904035)



Reply Favorite

Date: March 29th, 2013 11:05 PM
Author: mustard chest-beating wagecucks gas station

pretty sure the Delaware thing is flame, sadly

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2214561&forum_id=2#22904041)



Reply Favorite

Date: March 31st, 2016 9:27 AM
Author: Brass cracking half-breed abode

:(

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2214561&forum_id=2#30174191)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 10th, 2014 12:15 AM
Author: mustard chest-beating wagecucks gas station



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2214561&forum_id=2#25901428)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 29th, 2015 10:11 PM
Author: ruby learning disabled police squad



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2214561&forum_id=2#27994221)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 8th, 2015 2:15 AM
Author: pink startling theater stage



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2214561&forum_id=2#28280956)



Reply Favorite

Date: March 31st, 2016 9:18 AM
Author: ruby learning disabled police squad



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2214561&forum_id=2#30174134)



Reply Favorite

Date: March 31st, 2016 9:21 AM
Author: Umber organic girlfriend



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2214561&forum_id=2#30174150)



Reply Favorite

Date: November 22nd, 2017 11:30 PM
Author: Exciting coiffed piazza degenerate



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2214561&forum_id=2#34753638)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 16th, 2018 9:37 PM
Author: Exciting coiffed piazza degenerate



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2214561&forum_id=2#36065639)