GF addmited cheating on me a year ago (What should I do?)
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Poast new message in this thread
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Date: December 8th, 2013 7:53 PM Author: mint half-breed stage
The biggest problem with staying with a gf that has cheated on you is the effect it wall have on YOU.
You will constantly be walking on eggshells and basically be bitchmade, worried about how if you spend too much time at the office she is gonna go fuck some other dude.
Dump now. I forgave a girl for just MAKING OUT with some other guy while I was on a business trip. It fucked up the entire relationship dynamic and I ended up having to cut her loose after wasting another 6 months with her and getting more emotionally invested.
Get more girls.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2414452&forum_id=2#24597846) |
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Date: November 15th, 2013 1:51 AM Author: hot out-of-control nowag patrolman
Do it. Dump her.
Cheating in an LTR is an unforgivable offense and a harbinger of future infidelity. It's over. I'm sorry brother.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2414452&forum_id=2#24442502) |
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Date: November 15th, 2013 2:01 AM Author: hot out-of-control nowag patrolman
That sounds catty. Attacking her character briefly and earnestly, and ending with "I feel sorry for you" or something will hurt her a lot more because she'll blame herself. It will crush her and she will hate herself.
It's easier to forgive yourself when the other person is being an asshole.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2414452&forum_id=2#24442551) |
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Date: November 15th, 2013 2:14 AM Author: hot out-of-control nowag patrolman
ty
yeah i'm by no means saying go easy on her....quite the opposite. if you really want to hurt her, stab her soul.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2414452&forum_id=2#24442628) |
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Date: November 15th, 2013 2:36 AM Author: razzle-dazzle library
nah, tell her it's okay and that you understand; that it was your fault.
propose a few weeks later.
give her a fake diamond.
let her parents pay for the wedding.
dump at the altar.
fuck a bridesmaid.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2414452&forum_id=2#24442719) |
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Date: November 15th, 2013 1:52 AM Author: hot out-of-control nowag patrolman
Read what I said above. I know it's hard to throw away a relationship that has come this far but you can't trust her. How do you know she won't do it again sometime in the future when you're on a "business trip" or have been "working late" a lot and she's "lonely"? She broke down and is weak. It's over, I'm sorry. And honestly, it will hurt, but it's better than driving yourself insane contemplating it 24/7. Just do it.
At the very best, it's something that will always always always bother you, even if she never does it again. Trust me. You'll think about it when you're married and it will grate on you.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2414452&forum_id=2#24442512) |
Date: November 15th, 2013 1:50 AM Author: titillating heaven gaping
If this is not flame. DUMP YOU DUMB FUCK
YOU WILL BE GETTING CUCKED EVERYNIGHT BY DARNELL WHILE YOU CHANGE THE DIAPERS OF THE CHILDREN YOU THINK ARE YOURS
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2414452&forum_id=2#24442498) |
Date: November 15th, 2013 1:55 AM Author: Black spot
dump her and don't think twice.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2414452&forum_id=2#24442526)
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Date: November 15th, 2013 2:02 AM Author: salmon impressive boiling water
I would dump her. This woman isn't marriage material.
Or just keep dating her until you find a replacement.
At any rate, I wouldn't marry a chick with this kind of quality. Marriage and dating / fucking are two different animals and you should adopt a different standard when picking a wife vs girl friend.
At least that's how i think about things
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2414452&forum_id=2#24442554) |
Date: November 15th, 2013 5:03 AM Author: Light naked sanctuary
She isn't sexually satisfied by you, brother. You're actually lucky to have not been dumped yourself. Your saving grace is that she loves you. Who will always be there for her when things go wrong? Who will cook her dinners and send surprise gifts for her birthday? Darnell sure as fuck won't, and she reciprocates by using him as a sexual nigger slave to whom she feels no attachment, right? And when he lick her ass for a while, right, she gonna cum, right? You can't fuck for shit; you are shit! Might as well order your cock cage buddy because a cuck is a cuck. The thought of you lisping to your girlfriend about possibly maybe wanting to reconsider the marriage makes me fucking ill. Remember that your mom and dad would much rather their son suck cocks than be a fucking CUCK. Let that word sink in brother. Cuck. CUCKOLD. My son, a cuckold? I thought I raised him to be a man, but I see now that the rise of intellectualism has been a disaster for my bloodline. Truly, brother, consider the implications. This path leads you to raising other mens' children--conceived from the ecstasy your girl could never get from you. Please start eating your breakfast.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2414452&forum_id=2#24442925) |
Date: November 15th, 2013 9:30 AM Author: Galvanic striped hyena
Make her breakfast for the rest of the week, then when you're finally ready to dump
Don't serve breakfast
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2414452&forum_id=2#24443252) |
Date: November 15th, 2013 10:00 AM Author: Saffron pea-brained business firm
This is hard, but all rational posters agree: you must dump her.
You say you both wanted to get married, possibly have kids. Well enough. But ask yourself, "Do I want my children to be raised in a home where there is a good chance of infidelity?" What happens when you are locked in a marriage with this woman, and she cheats on you? You will be miserable, she will be miserable, and worst of all, your children will be miserable.
Nonetheless, I do not think you should hate this woman. We should pity, not hate, those who do not have honor or virtue. Men of wisdom know this is true.
Finally, you must consider her position, as well. The only way to dignify her choice to betray you is to honor its consequences: immediate termination of your relationship. If she wanted to be with you forever, she would not have cheated on you. Maybe she regrets that decision, but something deep inside her caused her to do what she did. That cause lies dormant like a viper under a rock - you must avoid it!
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2414452&forum_id=2#24443316) |
Date: November 15th, 2013 11:42 AM Author: hairraiser old irish cottage french chef
are you really going to leave a woman you intended to marry because she had the courage to confess to a mistake she made a long time ago and clearly regrets and has felt a lot of guilt over? a mistake that was partially your fault for abandoning her?
the vindictive chorus ITT is insane. i thought the misogyny on this board couldn't get any worse, but wow, just wow.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2414452&forum_id=2#24443716) |
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Date: November 15th, 2013 12:21 PM Author: Ivory Beady-eyed Yarmulke
I have to agree. She clearly at least exhibited guilt and remorse.
She even knew this could be the result and went ahead and told him.
If you love someone, forgiveness happens.
I'm afraid that the OP will have regrets down the line if he dumps her.
Yeah, what she did was shitty, but her confession makes her a 180 in my book.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2414452&forum_id=2#24443859) |
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Date: November 15th, 2013 12:31 PM Author: know-it-all 180 karate
I disagree with most of your poast. If this chick had slept with the dude just once, then perhaps she can approach with the "I am sorry. It was a mistake."
OP's gf was probably not thinking it was a mistake as her head hung over the edge of the bed as her classmate proceeded to throat fuck her and finger blast away a few times. She didn't think it was a mistake as her mascara began to run down her cheeks and started to experience respiratory failure as an eggplant size cock was blocking her windpipe.
Bro: From a man that has a history of cheating, dump her. Get a new one, and start fresh. She will more than likely do it again.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2414452&forum_id=2#24443939) |
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Date: November 15th, 2013 12:35 PM Author: Mind-boggling Dingle Berry Reading Party
This shitlib use of the word "mistake" is so annoying. A mistake in this context would be getting really drunk at a party and hooking up. One time thing. Compromised decision-making. Maybe...MAYBE excusable or something that can be overcome.
That's not what happened.
OP's GF admits to sleeping with someone "a few times". Translation: they were fucking like jackrabbits for weeks if not months. That's not a mistake. That's a whole bunch of mistakes, each of which is worse than the last because after each time she had the opportunity to sit down and reconsider her actions, yet decided to keep on cheating.
And that's the point here. Her reaction to routine relationship stress was to cheat. Guess what? There's going to be more relationship stress in the future. What then? Will she cheat again? Likely. But one doesn't even need to answer that question because the really critical point here is that OP *knows* that she will quite possibly cheat again, and that is going to haunt him in perpetuity. It's going to cause him stress and anxiety, and it's ultimately going to lead to him mistrusting her and treating her accordingly (which will lead to stress and anxiety for her).
He should move on.
EDIT: And please note I am not challenging your highly questionable premise that the OP was "partially at fault for abandoning her". That's the shit all women who cheat say, whether true or not.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2414452&forum_id=2#24443963) |
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Date: November 15th, 2013 12:50 PM Author: bright buck-toothed immigrant
Agree completely with this and prior post.
This is now toxic, and you have to cut and run. It absolutely sucks--OP was thinking about kids with this woman!--but she fucked it up. He has to run, and he has to let her know that she was the one who fucked this up, and that while he's hurting a lot now, that this is the right decision and that there is no chance of a future together. Clean break, bro, or you'll be pining for making breakfast together or whatever the happy memories are.
In my experience, cheaters cheat, and they think that everyone else cheats, too. You will NEVER be able to trust her again, and I guarantee that she already doesn't trust you because of her own shitty behavior.
(Also, multiply "a few times" by 5-10x. This was hot, illicit, 3x/hour sex. You cannot marry this woman.)
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2414452&forum_id=2#24444068) |
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Date: November 15th, 2013 12:52 PM Author: Flushed Community Account Plaza
To be fair,
A mistake? Like she was walking down the sidewalk on a particularly cold and blustery winter day and she slipped on a patch of black ice and fell on her ass but in between her ass and the sidewalk was the erect penis of a guy she had been flirting with for a few weeks and her vaginal lips spread out in midair and purely by coincidence she stuck the landing perfectly and then tried to get up but slipped and fell a few more hundred times? And there were a lot of black ice patches and fortuitous dicks that winter?
Quite the mistake.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2414452&forum_id=2#24444074) |
Date: November 15th, 2013 1:18 PM Author: amethyst filthy space
Skimming over the "dump her immediately" posts, I didn't see one that said "this happened to me, bro, I dumped her immediately and it was the best decision I ever made."
Cheating happens. It's up to you to decide if you can forgive her. If you can't, dump her and move on. You love her, but you're not so attached to her that this will lifefuck you, and you might still meet another girl you want to marry.
Here's the thing about forgiving her though- it's not just about forgiving her for fucking some other dude a few times a year ago, it's about forgiving her for being a cheater. You found out that she's not as good of a person as you thought she was. She betrayed you, and that's not just a one-time (or multiple times) mistake that will never happen again, it's a character flaw. It's obviously not something she's proud of, and she wishes she weren't that kind of person, but she is. If you can accept that, and she's willing to address it, maybe you can move past it.
I read somewhere once that success full forgiveness isn't as much about how you deal with cheating in the past, but how you would deal with potential cheating in the future. That sounds like intellectual cuckold flame, but I think it's about whether you accept a deep imperfection in her as a partner. Some women nag, some women are spendthrifts, some women are dullards, and their partners find ways to deal. Some women aren't loyal and suck another guy's cock when they're lonely.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2414452&forum_id=2#24444218) |
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Date: November 15th, 2013 1:36 PM Author: amethyst filthy space
Cheater, actually. I don't like the way "once a cheater, always a cheater" is used to justify ending a relationship that may be worth saving, but there's some truth to it. If you're caught, or confess, it's not like you've suddenly realized cheating is wrong and will never do it again. In my experience, people who cheat want something that can never be satisfied even in a perfect relationship, and it's a struggle to suppress that need for the sake of a relationship. You also have to accept that your partner knows that about you, and won't tolerate things that would be acceptable from a non-cheater.
As far as whether he should consider staying with her, man, it's hard to find a girl you'd want to marry.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2414452&forum_id=2#24444315) |
Date: November 15th, 2013 5:38 PM Author: know-it-all 180 karate
You and Scotty should get a beer:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nOCRBxVzjPE
(SFW)
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2414452&forum_id=2#24445601) |
Date: November 15th, 2013 10:11 PM Author: silver base
"Said he was feeling lonely because I got caught up in work and didn't visit her as often. "
lol so she cheated and you're to blame?
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2414452&forum_id=2#24446986) |
Date: November 15th, 2013 10:41 PM Author: Canary Idiotic Twinkling Uncleanness
she confessed, you need to deal
if its driving you crazy, do a time out and see what happens
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2414452&forum_id=2#24447163) |
Date: December 8th, 2013 7:44 PM Author: Maize internal respiration
I've been in this situation, but caught the girl a few weeks after it happened. I dumped her but then succumbed to weakness and got back together for a few months. That was a mistake.
If you dump her now, you'll suffer some terrible and acute suffering for about six months. If you stay with her, you'll enjoy, I think, a lesser but perpetual gnawing that will eat you away for the rest of your years.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2414452&forum_id=2#24597795) |
Date: December 8th, 2013 11:21 PM Author: offensive confused personal credit line
Drop her.
Drop her on her head.
If you can't trust her now how do you things will be when things really get tough in your marriage? And the fact that she even mentioned that your work and your visiting schedule had anything to do with it is proof that she doesn't take any responsibility for anything.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2414452&forum_id=2#24599431) |
Date: December 9th, 2013 2:42 PM Author: Seedy faggot firefighter
This is the bullshit excuse of either a weak person, or one who doesn't really want you so much as she wants stability. Either way, it's a problem, unless you have seen genuine personal growth on her part in the interim. If you can be sure of the latter, then I guess it might be salvageable, but this is a serious problem.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2414452&forum_id=2#24603211) |
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Date: August 15th, 2017 10:24 PM Author: pontificating elastic band
Oh come on.
The STANDARD advice on xo to a cheatmo who is thinking of confessing to his wife/gf is not to do it and take the secret to his grave.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2414452&forum_id=2#33998541)
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