Date: November 9th, 2014 5:50 PM
Patrick Hamm fucksAsianStudent, gets FIRED
In theory, you gotta hand props to Harvard sociology teacher Patrick Hamm. The 28-year-old dude saw his chance to pwn some 20-year-old Asian cunnus and took it. Unfortunately for him, Patrick disobeyed the Prime Directive of Co-ed Cunnus Sexploitation... "If'n you're gonna be a perv, don't be a fucktard about it!"
As this clusterfuck makes clangingly obvious, Patrick Hamm Berlin violated three rules for surviving the Sexploitation of Co-Ed Cunnus:
Lena Chen: Did I tell you what my friends call me?
Patrick Hamm sociology: Whore whore slut?
Of course, the girl Patrick Hamm Berlin decided to fuck had to be none other than Lena Chen, a sex-craved blogger whose blog focuses entirely on sex and, in particular, her sexual experiences. Prior to the Patrick Hamm Scandal, Lena Chen was best known for having her nude pics leaked to the internets (See Gallery, below.) Needless to say, Patrick was promptly booted from his swanky teaching position at Harvard University and had his ass deported back to Germany.
1 The Rules
1.1 Rule One: Low-Hanging Fruit is Verboten
1.2 Rule Two: Make Sure She's Worth It
1.3 Rule Three: Tough It Out
1.4 Lena Chen Gets Assbooted by Harvard (2008-2009)
2 Patrick Hamm tries to hide his crimes
3 Lena Chen, whoring for publicity, reveals her "number" is 30
4 2011 Lena Chen's Bukkake Squad!!1
5 2012: Patrick Hamm (Harvard Sociology) gets pwned AGAIN
6 2013: Lena Chen dials Waaaambulance: "I'M LEAVING AMERICA!"
7 2014 Lena Chen: "lol, nm"
7.1 Timeline of Lena Chen's Attention Whoring since March 31, 2014
9 See Also
10 External Links
"Pepper your anus, Jason Burke! Here it cums!" --Faghag Lena Chen, shortly before ramming a vodka bottle up Jason D. Burke's anus (BC College of Law)...and, of course, posting the pic on fagbook.
Rule One: Low-Hanging Fruit is Verboten
If you're gonna nail a student, make sure she never was your student! In the old days, sexing a former student would be shrugged off. But in the age of such petting-zoos as Autoadmit, you're just asking for an online fisting.
Rule Two: Make Sure She's Worth It
If you're gonna plug some 20-year-old cunnus, make sure that cunnus doesn't belong to a fat drama queen: you're just asking to get pwned when the cunnus of your eye is a sex blogger. Before you know it, she'll be:
posting about the time you throttled her until she let you sex her (a.k.a. "rape/aggressive/surprise sex").
posting photos the time Patrick Hamm drunkenly dryhumped her and squeezed Lena Chen's tiny tit on Facebook
posting a pic of the results of your splooging on her face...and adding the endearing tidbit that you "kissed her with tongue afterwards." Ew.
posting about that time you were high together and how he scored a Fake ID for you (see scroll box below).
Use scrollbar to see the full image
How Patrick Hamm (Berlin) Patrick Hamm sociology Patrick Hamm (Harvard) got fired for buying his
AsianSexDoll a fake ID, drugs, etc
You really don't want publicity like that.
Rule Three: Tough It Out
If you break the first two rules, then rest assured some petting zoo like Auto Admit is gonna find out. When they do, don't whimper like a bitch about it, claiming "outrage!".
Think about it: you fucked a loudmouth, talky, drama queen sex-blogger. Did you actually think it would remain on the q.t.? If you did, kill self and leave Harvard, because you're obviously too much of a fucktard to flourish there. Then again, he is German...
Patrick's cum. Ignore the slut behind it.
"Patrick Hamm kissed me right after he jizzed on my face (yes, with tongue), and then wiped my mouth off for me. Lots of people might think that’s gross. I think it’s fair.
Lena Chen Gets Assbooted by Harvard (2008-2009)
Lena Chen helps a student prepare for college at MyCollegeOptions
Photo Credit: Patrick Hamm Berlin
After the Patrick Clusterfuck, teh lulz continued to tumble fast and thick--just like the cum dripping from Lena Chen's lips. Little Lena was unable to suck off her profs with sufficient finesse to avert Harvard's asskicking her from the university for shitty grades.
So Lena Chen needed a job to supplement the income she received for the "services" she "rendered" Patrick. Happily, she found a dumbfuck company which had never heard of Google, a shitstain conjob called MyCollegeOptions. In addition to Lena's office talents, Lena counseled college-bound students on the importance of sucking one's way to non-sucky grades, fake IDs, and hallucinogens. Of course, the company's pisspoor wages weren't enough to cover Lena Chen's jetsetting through Europe, or even the gourmet food she habitually shovels (between bites of cock) into her massive maw. For this, Lena continued to rely on her Daddy's Platinum Card.
After an aimless year gobbling jetset food and cock, Lena threw herself at the mercy of Harvard's review board and begged them to take her back. The Dean obliged, shortly after Lena treated the campus to the most fetid gangbang in Ivy League history.
Patrick Hamm tries to hide his crimes
By 2010, mommy and daddy told Patrick Hamm to stop sucking on the family tit and GET A JOB!! So Patrick Hamm started sending out his resume...Hilarity ensued
Problem: Most employers are kinda squeamish about hiring a guy who drugged his 10-years-younger student (as Patrick Hamm did), scored her a fake ID (as Patrick Hamm did), choked said student until she spread her legs (as Patrick Hamm did), then posted a picture of his conquest's face covered with his jizz (as Patrick Hamm did).
What to do? BURY TEH EVIDENCE!! So Patrick Hamm, who's even dumb for a Nazi, bought a bunch of internet addresses and tried to spam google by swamping teh internet with fake websites which neglected to mention Patrick Hamm's weakness for fucking azn girls in his classes...
Result?? EPIC FAIL Unfortunately for Patrick Hamm, google only seems to care about NEWS websites (like this one documenting Patrick's mad sexploitation skillz) and not the ream of SPAM sites he'd begged his rich mommy and daddy to buy, like these ones:
patrickhamm.multiply.com patrickhamm.org patrickhamm.businesscard2.com aboutpatrickhamm.org aboutpatrickhamm.com patrickhamm.wordpress.com
Tsk-tsk, Patrick...wouldn't it have been easier to pwn some NON-student azn cunnus??
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