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I present to you a true XO Golden Oldie: "The Grateful Shiteater"

A few years ago, while browsing around the library downtown,...
Claret casino
  12/09/15
i remember this :)
dark excitant associate
  12/09/15
...
Claret casino
  12/09/15
...
Claret casino
  12/10/15
this and "use pink!" are really at the height of x...
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  12/10/15
thing is the op is just a rewrite of confessions of a shit e...
Cowardly sick mad-dog skullcap voyeur
  12/10/15
the original was called "New York Scene Report" by...
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  12/10/15
holy fuck this makes it 10 times better
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  01/07/16
Link to pink thread?
Claret casino
  12/10/15
http://www.xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=1862360&mc=8...
Hyperventilating giraffe
  12/10/15
The fax machine is just a repost from some TLS thread.
Duck-like plum therapy people who are hurt
  01/07/16
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  12/10/15
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Claret casino
  12/23/15
This should be a Christmas xoxo tradition -- like a reading ...
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  12/23/15
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  01/07/16
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Garnet jet-lagged kitchen
  05/07/19
this is copypasta retard
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  05/07/19
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alcoholic mustard library
  04/09/24


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Date: December 9th, 2015 6:46 PM
Author: Claret casino

A few years ago, while browsing around the library downtown, I had to take a piss. As I entered the john a big beautiful all-american football hero type, about twenty-five, came out of one of the booths. I stood at the urinal looking at him out of the corner of my eye as he washed his hands. He didn't once look at me. He was "straight" and married -- and in any case I was sure I wouldn't have a chance with him.

As soon as he left I darted into the booth he'd vacated, hoping there might be a lingering smell of shit and even a seat still warm from his sturdy young ass. I found not only the smell but the shit itself. He'd forgotten to flush. And what a treasure he had left behind. Three or four beautiful specimens floated in the bowl. It apparently had been a fairly dry, constipated shit, for all were fat, stiff, and ruggedly textured.

The real prize was a great feast of turd -- a nine inch gastrointestinal triumph as thick as a man's wrist.

I knelt before the bowl, inhaling the rich brown fragrance and wondered if I should obey the impulse building up inside me. I'd always been a heavy rimmer and had lapped up more than one little clump of shit, but that had been just an inevitable part of eating ass and not an end in itself. Of course I'd had jerk-off fantasies of devouring great loads of it (what rimmer hasn't), but I had never done it. Now, here I was, confronted with the most beautiful five-pound turd I'd ever feasted my eyes on, a sausage fit to star in any fantasy and one I knew to have been hatched from the asshole of the world's handsomest young stud.

Why not? I plucked it from the bowl, holding it with both hands to keep it from breaking. I lifted it to my nose. It smelled like rich, ripe limburger (horrid, but thrilling), yet had the consistency of cheddar. What is cheese anyway but milk turning to shit without the benefit of a digestive tract? I gave it a lick and found that it tasted better then it smelled. I've found since then that shit nearly almost does.

I hesitated no longer. I shoved the fucking thing as far into my mouth as I could get it and sucked on it like a big brown cock, beating my meat like a madman. I wanted to completely engulf it and bit off a large chunk, flooding my mouth with the intense, bittersweet flavor. To my delight I found that while the water in the bowl had chilled the outside of the turd, it was still warm inside. As I chewed I discovered that it was filled with hard little bits of something I soon identified as peanuts. He hadn't chewed them carefully and they'd passed through his body virtually unchanged. I ate it greedily, sending lump after peanutty lump sliding scratchily down my throat. My only regret was the donor of this feast wasn't there to wash it down with his piss.

I soon reached a terrific climax. I caught my cum in the cupped palm of my hand and drank it down. Believe me, there is no more delightful combination of flavors than the hot sweetness of cum with the rich bitterness of shit.

Afterwards I was sorry that I hadn't made it last longer. But then I realized that I still had a lot of fun in store for me. There was still a clutch of virile turds left in the bowl. I tenderly fished them out, rolled them into my hankerchief, and stashed them in my briefcase. In the week to come I found all kinds of ways to eat the shit without bolting it right down. Once eaten it's gone forever unless you want to filch it third hand out of your own asshole. Not an unreasonable recourse in moments of desperation or simple boredom. I stored the turds in the refrigerator when I was not using them but within a week they were all gone. The last one I held in my mouth without chewing, letting it slowly dissolve. I had liquid shit trickling down my throat for nearly four hours. I must have had six orgasms in the process.

I often think of that lovely young guy dropping solid gold out of his sweet, pink asshole every day, never knowing what joy it could, and at least once did, bring to a grateful shiteater.

http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=565350&forum_id=2#7443071

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3066579&forum_id=2#29344942)



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Date: December 9th, 2015 7:03 PM
Author: dark excitant associate

i remember this :)

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3066579&forum_id=2#29345061)



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Date: December 9th, 2015 7:09 PM
Author: Claret casino



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3066579&forum_id=2#29345098)



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Date: December 10th, 2015 12:40 AM
Author: Claret casino



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3066579&forum_id=2#29347846)



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Date: December 10th, 2015 12:42 AM
Author: bisexual fragrant legal warrant pisswyrm

this and "use pink!" are really at the height of xo scholarship. also the one where people's resumes are flying out of the fax machine at the shitlaw office, but i can't find that one anymore.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3066579&forum_id=2#29347861)



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Date: December 10th, 2015 12:46 AM
Author: Cowardly sick mad-dog skullcap voyeur

thing is the op is just a rewrite of confessions of a shit eater from 90s Internet

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3066579&forum_id=2#29347880)



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Date: December 10th, 2015 1:44 AM
Author: Scarlet razzle selfie

the original was called "New York Scene Report" by a certain "Bob Blotnick," and it appeared in a 1989 edition of the underground music magazine "Forced Exposure."

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3066579&forum_id=2#29348187)



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Date: January 7th, 2016 2:08 PM
Author: rebellious cruise ship puppy

holy fuck this makes it 10 times better

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3066579&forum_id=2#29542040)



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Date: December 10th, 2015 7:45 PM
Author: Claret casino

Link to pink thread?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3066579&forum_id=2#29352962)



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Date: December 10th, 2015 7:50 PM
Author: Hyperventilating giraffe

http://www.xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=1862360&mc=89&forum_id=2

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3066579&forum_id=2#29353012)



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Date: January 7th, 2016 2:10 PM
Author: Duck-like plum therapy people who are hurt

The fax machine is just a repost from some TLS thread.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3066579&forum_id=2#29542056)



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Date: December 10th, 2015 1:29 AM
Author: 180 insane ticket booth corn cake



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3066579&forum_id=2#29348142)



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Date: December 23rd, 2015 4:49 PM
Author: Claret casino



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3066579&forum_id=2#29441687)



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Date: December 23rd, 2015 4:52 PM
Author: navy slippery institution really tough guy

This should be a Christmas xoxo tradition -- like a reading of Twas the Night Before Christmas.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3066579&forum_id=2#29441710)



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Date: January 7th, 2016 2:10 PM
Author: Primrose Aromatic Resort Striped Hyena



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3066579&forum_id=2#29542057)



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Date: May 7th, 2019 11:30 AM
Author: Garnet jet-lagged kitchen



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3066579&forum_id=2#38199170)



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Date: May 7th, 2019 12:15 PM
Author: fluffy gunner toilet seat

this is copypasta retard

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3066579&forum_id=2#38199352)



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Date: April 9th, 2024 11:34 PM
Author: alcoholic mustard library



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3066579&forum_id=2#47569789)