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homepage of pensive's only Carelton friend (with pic)
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Date: November 28th, 2005 9:09 PM Author: Talented tattoo I can't log in, so here is the google cache of the page. She's a hottie.
http://64.233.187.104/search?q=cache:mkPlNfA7aeMJ:carleton.campusnetwork.com/~lissie/friends+%22mike+church%22+carleton&hl=en |
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Date: November 28th, 2005 9:11 PM Author: Orange ticket booth half-breed If she doesn't wax her moustache, she probably doesn't wax anything else. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=307799&forum_id=2#4406466) |
Date: November 28th, 2005 9:11 PM Author: trip codepig Huh (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=307799&forum_id=2#4406465) |
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Date: November 28th, 2005 9:14 PM Author: Carnelian dopamine I don't recognize her at all. Anyway, Mike did actually have friends at Carleton. I mean, I would say my friends and I were basically friends with him. Also, I swear to God, I once saw him at Blue Mondays playing Ambition with girls who were, by Carleton standards, pretty attractive. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=307799&forum_id=2#4406497) |
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Date: November 28th, 2005 9:15 PM Author: Razzle khaki organic girlfriend Hi pensive!!
Sorry, I had to. |
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Date: November 28th, 2005 9:55 PM Author: Filthy infuriating double fault state I've realize that Carleton women only exist if I kill myself, and seeing as its 35 days before I graduate, I simply won't. I simply won't do it. Because at 5:27 AM (sunrise) June 12, Carelton women simply no longer exist, and they can't get me and they can't hurt me.
Carleton women are planning a final assualt on me, on myself and my persona, before then. I can feel it in the air because, at spring concert, I smelt the prevailing, pre-attack stenches. That is why I left. I want to be absent for Carleton womens' final assault on me, so I won't be there and they will all maul each other instead of me.
Carleton women can only exist if they prevent me from making history, or doing something useful, or whatever. To exist at all, Carleton women have to defeat me, else they will fade into the Stygian mist they came from. How do I prevent them from beating me? By, at all costs, staying alive till 5:27 AM on 6/12/2005.
Carleton women will only be sated if I do what I never will: commit suicide. By refusing to do that I negate all possibility of their existence. For all this time, I thought women held some kind of power. But the truth is, that if I am alive at sunrise, June 12, they never existed. I hold the fucking power!
Carleton women are in the worst place ever, because they know they have lost. They will lauch some pathetic last assault on me, a mockery of Amrgageddon, and it will fail. All I have to do to make them never exist at all is prevent them from killing me, or making me kill myself, for 35 days. I honestly believe I will be able to stay completely away from them till that point. And then what do they have? Nothing.
Once I leave Carleton, leaving this depressing shell of myself, that women made by being evil, behind, I will go on to make history. The only way Carleton women can prevent me from doing that is to prevent me from making history. They have 35 days to intercept me, destroy me, and I ironically wish them luck. Fuck them. They will fail.
That is the end. If [redacted] doesnt' delete this file by 12 June 2005, I will declare my victory here, and everywhere, at 5:27 am. (If the file is deleted, I will simply declare victory everywhere but here.) I will be free of the evils committed by Carleton women, and able to make the best of myself that I can without Mephistophelian interference by the Red Menace.
--User File 2.0 (drunk) |
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Date: November 28th, 2005 9:58 PM Author: spruce violent crotch What a horny bastard. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=307799&forum_id=2#4406881) |
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Date: November 29th, 2005 12:15 AM Author: Anal rigor mediation he needs to get laid more than anyone, and likely never will. a paradox. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=307799&forum_id=2#4408328) |
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Date: November 28th, 2005 9:59 PM Author: Orchid kitty cat what.the.fuck. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=307799&forum_id=2#4406900) |
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Date: November 28th, 2005 10:01 PM Author: Glittery hyperventilating resort dragon omigod, pensive is more of a loser than i thought. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=307799&forum_id=2#4406922) |
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Date: November 28th, 2005 10:02 PM Author: Smoky Pocket Flask Holy fucking shit! (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=307799&forum_id=2#4406930) |
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Date: November 28th, 2005 10:04 PM Author: Wonderful public bath nice username (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=307799&forum_id=2#4406964) |
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Date: November 28th, 2005 10:05 PM Author: odious useless brakes holy jesus, great username (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=307799&forum_id=2#4406970) |
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Date: November 28th, 2005 10:04 PM Author: Smoky Pocket Flask "Carleton women can only exist if they prevent me from making history, or doing something useful, or whatever. To exist at all, Carleton women have to defeat me, else they will fade into the Stygian mist they came from. How do I prevent them from beating me? By, at all costs, staying alive till 5:27 AM on 6/12/2005."
What a melodramatic loser-fucker. 'Oh, the Carleton women are going to destroy me, I must resist at all costs.' WTF!! |
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Date: November 28th, 2005 10:10 PM Author: Carnelian dopamine Yikes, that's more fucked up than I remember. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=307799&forum_id=2#4407023) |
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Date: November 28th, 2005 10:10 PM Author: Disturbing community account FYI, it's much easier to get laid in college than it ever is again (barring some sort of fame and/or immense fortune)--heard this myself, and have been experiencing it a bit over the past two years. Kill yourself. They won't win. You've already lost. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=307799&forum_id=2#4407024) |
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Date: November 29th, 2005 12:13 AM Author: Insane Deep Indian Lodge Whoa (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=307799&forum_id=2#4408310) |