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Post the number of times you've shit your pants after turning 18
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Date: November 28th, 2005 11:25 PM Author: Exhilarant kitchen Me: 2
One was a fart gone totally wrong. The other I blame on overindulgence in fiber. |
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Date: November 28th, 2005 11:26 PM Author: godawful friendly grandma 0. My 18th birthday was two weeks ago, however. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=307916&forum_id=2#4407822) |
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Date: November 28th, 2005 11:27 PM Author: Supple opaque location depressive Are you serious? I thought you were older. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=307916&forum_id=2#4407827) |
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Date: November 28th, 2005 11:27 PM Author: godawful friendly grandma No, I'm 18. My birthday was a little while farther back than that, though. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=307916&forum_id=2#4407832) |
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Date: November 28th, 2005 11:27 PM Author: Supple opaque location depressive 0. I'm not 18 yet. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=307916&forum_id=2#4407831) |
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Date: November 28th, 2005 11:28 PM Author: Exhilarant kitchen then get the fuck over to the college board you dumb fuck. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=307916&forum_id=2#4407847) |
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Date: November 28th, 2005 11:29 PM Author: Supple opaque location depressive Nope. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=307916&forum_id=2#4407855) |
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Date: November 28th, 2005 11:29 PM Author: godawful friendly grandma Where are you applying? Assuming you're still in HS. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=307916&forum_id=2#4407857) |
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Date: November 28th, 2005 11:28 PM Author: Adventurous rough-skinned prole stag film I suspect you will have the high number for this thread (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=307916&forum_id=2#4407837) |
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Date: November 28th, 2005 11:29 PM Author: Exhilarant kitchen It's nice to be the best at something. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=307916&forum_id=2#4407851) |
Date: November 28th, 2005 11:27 PM Author: Poppy tanning salon Um, zero? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=307916&forum_id=2#4407830) |
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Date: November 28th, 2005 11:28 PM Author: Exhilarant kitchen You aren't living on the edge. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=307916&forum_id=2#4407835) |
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Date: November 28th, 2005 11:28 PM Author: Glittery scourge upon the earth orchestra pit does sharting count? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=307916&forum_id=2#4407836) |
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Date: November 28th, 2005 11:28 PM Author: Exhilarant kitchen yes. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=307916&forum_id=2#4407842) |
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Date: November 28th, 2005 11:30 PM Author: Glittery scourge upon the earth orchestra pit too many to count (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=307916&forum_id=2#4407861) |
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Date: November 28th, 2005 11:30 PM Author: Exhilarant kitchen nice. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=307916&forum_id=2#4407869) |
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Date: November 28th, 2005 11:29 PM Author: fear-inspiring multi-colored locus 1.
I was a leeeeeeeetle bit drunk. |
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Date: November 28th, 2005 11:29 PM Author: Razzmatazz rehab haha (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=307916&forum_id=2#4407856) |
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Date: November 28th, 2005 11:30 PM Author: fear-inspiring multi-colored locus At least I was alone.
Much less trouble than when I pissed on my GF at the time. |
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Date: November 28th, 2005 11:31 PM Author: Glittery scourge upon the earth orchestra pit describe. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=307916&forum_id=2#4407877) |
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Date: November 28th, 2005 11:33 PM Author: fear-inspiring multi-colored locus Um, I got really drunk. There might also have been pills.
She woke up in the middle of the night yelling at me. |
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Date: November 28th, 2005 11:30 PM Author: Soul-stirring Aquamarine Business Firm Jap I'm gonna go with none. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=307916&forum_id=2#4407862) |
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Date: November 28th, 2005 11:32 PM Author: light native You can never overindulge in fiber! (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=307916&forum_id=2#4407894) |
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Date: November 28th, 2005 11:33 PM Author: Exhilarant kitchen My underwear disagree. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=307916&forum_id=2#4407899) |
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Date: November 28th, 2005 11:33 PM Author: cracking indecent hissy fit center artie lange has shit his pants about a dozen times since his 30th birthday. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=307916&forum_id=2#4407901) |
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Date: November 28th, 2005 11:33 PM Author: Misunderstood Abusive Idiot Trailer Park 2. One was a fart that went wrong.
Second was an unfortunate chinese restraunt 15 blocks from my apartment. |
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Date: November 28th, 2005 11:33 PM Author: frisky cerebral brunch multi-billionaire ON NO DIARRHEA ALL OVER THE CARPET WHY DID I FART NAKED (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=307916&forum_id=2#4407906) |
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Date: November 28th, 2005 11:34 PM Author: Exhilarant kitchen this made me laugh so hard i almost experience 'episode' number 3 (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=307916&forum_id=2#4407913) |
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Date: November 28th, 2005 11:35 PM Author: Glittery scourge upon the earth orchestra pit Tonight, I'm the winner! (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=307916&forum_id=2#4407916) |
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Date: November 28th, 2005 11:40 PM Author: Poppy tanning salon THIS ALWAYS HAPPENS (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=307916&forum_id=2#4407969) |
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Date: November 28th, 2005 11:34 PM Author: maniacal red masturbator A girl willing to admit to this is outstanding in my book. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=307916&forum_id=2#4407910) |
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Date: November 28th, 2005 11:49 PM Author: Ebony aphrodisiac area i miss Dogshit too (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=307916&forum_id=2#4408078) |
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Date: November 28th, 2005 11:38 PM Author: Talking meetinghouse 2 sharts, one at school in ugrad. That was brisk walk out of the student union. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=307916&forum_id=2#4407949) |
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Date: November 28th, 2005 11:39 PM Author: Exhilarant kitchen Did you abandon or salvage your underwear? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=307916&forum_id=2#4407963) |
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Date: November 28th, 2005 11:43 PM Author: Talking meetinghouse I ran to the bathroom to attempt damage control, and they didn't make it out. Sucks to be janitor who had to empty that trash can. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=307916&forum_id=2#4408004) |
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Date: November 28th, 2005 11:42 PM Author: shivering pearly national puppy 0
I'm not sure what would cause this, but so far I've managed to avoid it. |
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Date: November 28th, 2005 11:42 PM Author: Azure wonderful lodge trust fund 0 The last time I pooped my pants was in 5th grade. I was a bit of a strange kid, and I absolutely refused to shit in school. Anyway, this one day, towards the end of the school day, I'm sitting in the classroom waiting for my round of busses to come, and I start having stomach pains. Before I knew it, I shit my pants. And I'm talking a full-on load in my pants. I completely emptied my bowels. So I get up and make it to the bus, but the problem is that I'm a safety on the bus, and I'm required to walk up and down the aisle telling younger kids to sit down. Well, I decide to play it safe and just sit down the whole time. On the way home this girl sitting behind me asked me if I farted. If only she knew. |
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Date: November 28th, 2005 11:43 PM Author: Exhilarant kitchen Craptastic. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=307916&forum_id=2#4408013) |
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Date: November 28th, 2005 11:43 PM Author: Poppy tanning salon All my life I've pondered what would happen if you caged a raccoon, threw him in a ring with a pit bull and had them fight to the death. No, I'm not going to start a thread about how my animal abusive uncle pulled off such a feat (because he would), but this morning at about 3 am I was fortunate enough to witness about 30 seconds worth of this dream match-up and it didn't disappoint!
I'm sound asleep early this morning when I'm suddenly awakened by the intensity of a fierce street fight between 3 cats...fuckin' battle royal WWF style, and everybody knows what a cat fight sounds like. The only reason this cat fight peeked my interest was because usually cat fights last about 15-20 seconds before one cat realizes he's about to get his ass whupped and runs away like a little bitch. Not this fight. This was fuckin' Ali/ Frazier and after about 45 seconds of ferocity I knew I had to get some ringside seats because these cats were absolutely getting after it! I run to my front room window which looks down on the street and and it was beautiful!! The street light in front of my neighbors house shined right down on the fight like I was at Ceasars Palace. The only thing missing was a giant bong rip and a few half naked ring card girls....and beer. And hookers.....anway....
So I must have been watching this free for all for about 45 seconds when out of nowhere this big fuckin' raccoon comes rollin' up 5 deep out of the alley between my house and my neighbors' to the right. I mean he's got his posse in full effect. I dont know, they might have been his bitches, all I know is I saw him out of the corner of my eye and at first I thought it was a dog, thats how big this coon was. I see raccoons all the time but this bastard was abnormally big, he was like Deebo from the movie Friday without the introduction music. The intense whine of the cat fight must have attracted his attention, he probably was in some dumpster getting his eat on when he heard the commotion, turned to his hoes and was like, "You wanna go see me whup some ass?" So he rolls up with his entourage and within seconds this cat fight comes to an abrupt end. Game over. Thanks for coming. In the blink of an eye 2 of the cats are fuckin' ghost! They know better. They're like, "No need to stick around, thats the biggest motherfuckin' racoon I've ever seen, I'M OUT!!" Now the other cat, he didn't move. He must have paged the coons or some shit because you could tell they were boys. The minute he saw the calvary coming he probably looked at the other cats and was like, "Yeah, whats up now bitches? This is my block. West side. Recognize!" Throwing up alley cat gang signs n' shit. So I'm watching this and my adrenaline is just pumping, I love confrontation especially between animals. I'm a little disappointed that this raccoon showed up because he broke up a really entertaining cat fight but just when I was about to climax all over myself things got really interesting...
My neighbors to the left own a pitbull named Davis and by no means is Davis one of those "trained to kill" style ghetto pitbulls, he's actually a sweetheart but he is a pitbull and he can get down. Davis is the kind of dog that is cool with humans but will not hesitate to obliterate any cat he can run down. Occasionally he gets under the fence which doesnt bother me at all but at times has the other neighbors terrofied. Sure enough Davis also heard the catfight and wanted to get a live glimpse himself, he just didn't know he was about to come face to face with a 105+ pound coon. So the minute I see Davis I let out with a "HOLY SHIT!!!" and once again my adrenaline is flaring like a pack of hemorroids because I knew this had the potential to be fuckin' awesome! With that my roommate comes bolting out of his room half asleep thinking somebody was breaking into his piece of shit car, it's black as pitch in our house and dude just runs head on into the hall way corridor. Fuckin' WHAM!!. He goes to turn on the lights in the living room and I'm like, "No, you're going to scare them away," he still has no idea whats going on and turns his attention to what I'm watching and just flips out!! He's more pumped up than I am! You have to understand, my roommate and I are HUGE boxing fanatics who grew up together and were the type of guys who would have heated debates over who would win in a fight, John Rambo or Luke Skywalker. You know the types. King Kong or Godzilla? Mountain lion Vs. Black bear? So this was right up our alley.
The minute the raccoons see Davis four of them decide it was in their best interest to find the nearest escape route and head right back towards the alley. Not the big fella. This raccoon had balls of steel and even Davis was kinda lookin' at him like, "Yo nigga, don't you know who I am? Is your ass crazy or something? I'm a fuckin' pit bull son." However the only thing on this coons' mind was tearing shit up. So Davis is sizing up the situation and this raccoon goes right into a defensive attack position. It was about to be on and I'm not sure how it happened but within' moments my roommate and I are engaged in a heated debate over the outcome and automatically a 20 dollar bet was on the table. So he starts going off about Davis having "lock jaw" and once Davis establishes that advantage the fight would be over, Davis would tear him apart. I start telling him that it's not going to matter what kind of jaw Davis has because the second he gets close, that raccoon is going to use his razor sharp paws and carve him up something fierce. So we are going round and round like fuckin' Jim Lampley and Larry Merchant from HBO Sports and as always when my adrenaline starts and I get excited...I gotta take an enormous shit. I mean I'm straight up turtle heading. I cant hold it any longer.
Alright give me some room here....does anyone else get that or is it just me? I dont know why, but ever since I could remember anytime I feel any type of anxiety I automatically have to take a giant dump. It's the craziest thing. If I go to Blockbuster to rent a movie, within about 2 minutes I have to take a shit. Same thing if I go pick up a video game, it's like fuckin' clock work. When I'm about to light up a giant bong rip, I always run to the bathroom first. And sometimes there's no bathroom around so I have to go with the "heal plunge" where I bend over to pretend like I'm tying my shoe but all I'm really doing is ramming my heal up my ass to stop me from shitting all over myself. Speaking of video games, when I was 13 my little brother would bring over his chinese friend to play Nintendo and this kid was such a savage that he wouldn't even bother to press pause when he had to take a shit, he'd just drop a growler right there in his pants!! I mean come on, I know chinese kids love video games but there's a pause button for a reason. This kid was like, "no way" getting to level 9 in Mega Man was WAY more important than a trip to the bathroom. Little fella would just go caveman style right there in the living room.....
So anyway, I frantically sprint to the bathroom about to drop my garbage all over the floor and I'm on the toilet yelling at my roommate to give me "the play by play". I must have been on the shitter for like 12 seconds flat, if crapping was an Olympic sport I'd have just brought home the gold. I run back into the living room with a trail of toilet paper still lodged in my ass and as soon as I take my seat, my cock blocking neighbor comes flying out of her house screaming at her dog to come. Obviously with that the coon bolts, I'm bummed out of my mind, my roommate throws on the lights in the living room and dude is sporting a 3 inch gash right down his forehead. Apparently when he came running out of his room and took on the hallway corridor the guy split his fuckin' wig. He's got blood all over his shirt like he just went toe to toe with a god damn mountain lion.......
I got to get some sleep.
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Date: November 30th, 2005 11:19 PM Author: Glittery scourge upon the earth orchestra pit Put me down for a possible extra. i have to check my pants to confirm, but it was one very powerful shart. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=307916&forum_id=2#4424990) |
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Date: November 30th, 2005 11:19 PM Author: avocado territorial hell 8 (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=307916&forum_id=2#4424999) |
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Date: November 30th, 2005 11:28 PM Author: Provocative nowag 0, but close a few times when i had diarrhea or farted very hard (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=307916&forum_id=2#4425104) |
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Date: November 30th, 2005 11:29 PM Author: slimy shrine Oh Lord. Just twice. Both at the office. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=307916&forum_id=2#4425127) |
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Date: November 30th, 2005 11:32 PM Author: Wild Charismatic Mood Home 0. Pissing myself while drunk is an entirely different story, however. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=307916&forum_id=2#4425153) |
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Date: November 30th, 2005 11:40 PM Author: Contagious Jade Plaza but how many of you have taken a big old dump on the street here in the good old usa? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=307916&forum_id=2#4425267) |
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Date: December 1st, 2005 1:11 AM Author: Galvanic mint windowlicker One time i was sitting at my computer, when I felt a sneeze coming on. Now, at this point, I had no thoughts of needing to take a shit at all. I sneezed, and in that instant, I shat an entire turd. Not a partial turd, but a completely formed adult turd. I just sat there for a minute questioning if it indeed had happened. Surely I didn't just crap my pants? There was no denying it however. It wasn't one of those farts where you think a turtle head may have poked out a little. No, had this been in the toilet, it would have quite possibly been an iceberg turd, or at least worthy of calling my friends over to look at it. It easily broke my previous record of FASTEST turd expelled, or at least ratio of speed/size of turd. I couldn't help but bust out laughing. I threw my shorts away. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=307916&forum_id=2#4426341) |
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Date: December 1st, 2005 1:13 AM Author: Provocative nowag lol 177 (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=307916&forum_id=2#4426353) |
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Date: December 1st, 2005 1:13 AM Author: citrine feces TTIWWOP (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=307916&forum_id=2#4426350) |
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Date: December 1st, 2005 1:29 AM Author: Galvanic mint windowlicker I had to google this. And I've gotta say, I agree, this thread is in fact worthless without pictures. I'll get right on that. Although that would mean i'd have to have a camera handy the next time I accidently crap my pants. Or perhaps when someone else craps their pants. I can't decide if I'd rather have a picture of the shit-covered pants or the person's expression when the shit hits the pants. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=307916&forum_id=2#4426529) |
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Date: December 1st, 2005 1:50 AM Author: boyish church private investor I dont know, probably 10 times if you count any noticable leakage due to farting (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=307916&forum_id=2#4426820) |