In This Thread we xoxo-ify the Truths about Chuck Norris
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Poast new message in this thread
Date: December 16th, 2005 8:41 AM Author: Overrated mauve puppy
Chuck Norris has won the "Last Person to Post in this Thread Wins"
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=320941&forum_id=2#4577521) |
Date: December 16th, 2005 8:46 AM Author: Concupiscible national wagecucks
Chuck Norris got a 174 on the LSAT simply by writing TITCR
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=320941&forum_id=2#4577526) |
Date: December 16th, 2005 8:55 AM Author: sienna cruel-hearted athletic conference
Chuck Norris can't get laid.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=320941&forum_id=2#4577535) |
Date: December 16th, 2005 9:01 AM Author: chocolate whorehouse
Chuck Norris, Antonin Scalia Endowed Professor of Space Law, Princeton School of Law
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=320941&forum_id=2#4577539) |
Date: December 16th, 2005 11:09 AM Author: naked ratface
When a URM asked about his chances at HYS with a 3.3/165, Chuck Norris killed him with a roundhouse kick to the face and said "HTFH"
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=320941&forum_id=2#4577976) |
Date: December 16th, 2005 11:11 AM Author: hairless marvelous tattoo
Chuck Norris doesn't apply for law school, law schools apply for him
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=320941&forum_id=2#4577988) |
Date: December 16th, 2005 11:15 AM Author: hairless marvelous tattoo
Chuck Norris often takes the LSAT to clear his sinuses, coincidentally, those were the very times that Robin Singh missed getting a 180
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=320941&forum_id=2#4578018) |
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Date: December 16th, 2005 11:20 AM Author: naked ratface
The highest score you can get on the LSAT, in fact, is "Chuck Norris."
A "Chuck Norris" = Yale auto-admit.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=320941&forum_id=2#4578055) |
Date: December 16th, 2005 11:16 AM Author: hairless marvelous tattoo
Chuck Norris once PWN3d Tubgirl by Lemonpartying her
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=320941&forum_id=2#4578029) |
Date: December 16th, 2005 11:31 AM Author: Mint foreskin
You are just two subpoenas away from death by roundhouse kick.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=320941&forum_id=2#4578204) |
Date: December 16th, 2005 11:52 AM Author: Mahogany Parlor Dysfunction
ChuckNorislikesporkchopsbecausetheyareshapedlikeAfrica
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=320941&forum_id=2#4578402) |
Date: December 16th, 2005 11:58 AM Author: walnut stimulating love of her life generalized bond
Any conservatives want to smoke this with Chuck and Andots?
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=320941&forum_id=2#4578434) |
Date: December 16th, 2005 11:59 AM Author: ebony alpha house
HYSCCN =
Harvard
Yale
Stanford
Columbia
Chuck
Norris
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=320941&forum_id=2#4578441) |
Date: December 16th, 2005 12:00 PM Author: hairraiser institution pozpig
On his birthday, Vin Diesel randomly selects one lucky gunner to be thrown into the sun.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=320941&forum_id=2#4578451) |
Date: December 16th, 2005 12:00 PM Author: doobsian purple nursing home
Chuck Norris is best in Asia.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=320941&forum_id=2#4578454) |
Date: December 16th, 2005 12:01 PM Author: talented peach halford
Chuck Norris invented Ambition, and regularly engages in tournaments with Renada Deshada and 174.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=320941&forum_id=2#4578457) |
Date: December 16th, 2005 12:01 PM Author: Mahogany Parlor Dysfunction
Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=320941&forum_id=2#4578462) |
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Date: December 16th, 2005 5:42 PM Author: Buck-toothed round eye
A.
A.
A.
A.
A.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=320941&forum_id=2#4581977) |
Date: December 16th, 2005 12:05 PM Author: dashing milky trust fund
When law professors deliver their final words on the last class, the students begin a slow clap . . . . for Chuck Norris.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=320941&forum_id=2#4578481) |
Date: December 16th, 2005 12:16 PM Author: Rose philosopher-king set
A few years ago, while browsing around the library downtown, I had to take a piss. As I entered the john a big beautiful all-american football hero type, Chuck Norris, came out of one of the booths. I stood at the urinal looking at him out of the corner of my eye as he washed his hands. He didn't once look at me. He was "straight" and married -- and in any case I was sure I wouldn't have a chance with him. As soon as he left I darted into the booth he'd vacated, hoping there might be a lingering smell of shit and even a seat still warm from his sturdy young ass. I found not only the smell but the shit itself. He'd forgotten to flush. And what a treasure he had left behind. Three or four beautiful specimens floated in the bowl. It apparently had been a fairly dry, constipated shit, for all were fat, stiff, and ruggedly textured. The real prize was a great feast of turd -- a nine inch gastrointestinal triumph as thick as a man's wrist. I knelt before the bowl, inhaling the rich brown fragrance and wondered if I should obey the impulse building up inside me. I'd always been a heavy rimmer and had lapped up more than one little clump of shit, but that had been just an inevitable part of eating ass and not an end in itself. Of course I'd had jerk-off fantasies of devouring great loads of it (what rimmer hasn't), but I had never done it. Now, here I was, confronted with the most beautiful five-pound turd I'd ever feasted my eyes on, a sausage fit to star in any fantasy and one I knew to have been hatched from the asshole of the world's handsomest young stud. Why not? I plucked it from the bowl, holding it with both hands to keep it from breaking. I lifted it to my nose. It smelled like rich, ripe limburger (horrid, but thrilling), yet had the consistency of cheddar. What is cheese anyway but milk turning to shit without the benefit of a digestive tract? I gave it a lick and MY HEAD IMMEDIATELY EXPLODED FROM THE POWER OF CHUCK NORRIS FECES.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=320941&forum_id=2#4578582) |
Date: December 16th, 2005 12:21 PM Author: Bateful seedy forum
Chuck Norris is the patented creator of Meatspin and receives royalties each time you click on the link. All proceeds go to fight double aids in subsaharan africa. won't you do your part? www.meatspin.com
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=320941&forum_id=2#4578642) |
Date: December 16th, 2005 1:48 PM Author: Overrated mauve puppy
The "\" at the top is actually a scar left over from when Chuck Norris roundhoused his computer
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=320941&forum_id=2#4579432) |
Date: December 16th, 2005 5:27 PM Author: vigorous elite codepig
Cravath wasn't even a V100 firm until three years ago when Chuck Norris became the hiring partner.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=320941&forum_id=2#4581844) |
Date: December 16th, 2005 5:34 PM Author: Irradiated Bipolar International Law Enforcement Agency Idea He Suggested
What is Chuck Norris? Chuck Norris is a wonderful Japanese artform...
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=320941&forum_id=2#4581897) |
Date: December 16th, 2005 5:36 PM Author: razzle-dazzle amber church building
Chuck Norris stared the classic refrigerator, hls cool doods with haircuts, all the rate this chick threads, farted and office smells like an asshole, and more imporantly the chuck norris threads that make you laugh.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=320941&forum_id=2#4581916) |
Date: December 16th, 2005 5:36 PM Author: talented peach halford
I was at McDonalds, and talking with some friends and stuff. There was this guy sitting in the corner all by himself. He looked sort of depressed. I didn't really think about it until later though. He finished his food before us and walked out. Like, 30 seconds later, we hear these brakes screeching and we were like 'WTF, was that a car accident?' and we all stand up and look out the window. It was that kid. I guess he jumped in front of a car or something. He was just lying on the ground. I couldn't tell if he was alive or not. It was crazy. This lady standing in line started screaming and stuff. We didn't go out there, but we watched until the ambulance came. It was really sad when his mom showed up though. They had to sort of shovel him onto the stretcher, and as they were putting him into the ambulance, Chuck Norris came, gave the guy CPR, and kicked the shit out of the driver of the car.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=320941&forum_id=2#4581924) |
Date: December 16th, 2005 5:41 PM Author: territorial aromatic home scourge upon the earth
Chuck Norris is so virile that he vomits semen, hence the spunk on rasquach's floppy tits.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=320941&forum_id=2#4581966) |
Date: December 16th, 2005 5:42 PM Author: Buck-toothed round eye
Chuck Norris to Stabby: DING! Fag!
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=320941&forum_id=2#4581987) |
Date: December 16th, 2005 5:59 PM Author: doobsian purple nursing home
TITCR. This is THE Chuck (Norris) Response.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=320941&forum_id=2#4582109) |
Date: December 16th, 2005 6:01 PM Author: beady-eyed ticket booth sweet tailpipe
in this thread we CHUCK NORRIS
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=320941&forum_id=2#4582124) |
Date: December 16th, 2005 6:02 PM Author: Buck-toothed round eye
Just farted. Office smells like Chuck Norris.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=320941&forum_id=2#4582136) |
Date: December 16th, 2005 6:04 PM Author: beady-eyed ticket booth sweet tailpipe
chucknorrislikesporkchopsbecausetheyareshapedlikearoundhousedhead
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=320941&forum_id=2#4582145) |
Date: December 16th, 2005 6:11 PM Author: naked ratface
Once four Michigan 1Ls known as "The Crew" picked a fight with Chuck Norris because they mistook him for a drunken fratboy.
Chuck Norris caved two of their heads in using only his chin, while the other two stood by and watched. Then he killed those two with roundhouse kicks to the face.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=320941&forum_id=2#4582210) |
Date: December 16th, 2005 6:11 PM Author: Misunderstood Avocado Stead Boistinker
All pleadings in federal court against Chuck Norris involve Rule 9(g).
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=320941&forum_id=2#4582216) |
Date: December 16th, 2005 6:15 PM Author: beady-eyed ticket booth sweet tailpipe
UT dropped to tier 4 status when Chuck Norris became aware of Leiter's ranking methodology.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=320941&forum_id=2#4582255) |
Date: December 16th, 2005 6:19 PM Author: Impertinent rigpig stain
In this thread we talk like Chuck Norris roundhouse kicking the life out of B-FF
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=320941&forum_id=2#4582280) |
Date: December 16th, 2005 6:23 PM Author: arrogant native
Chuck Norris is so prestigious his name is both the C and the N in the very coveted CNN of the T-14.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=320941&forum_id=2#4582313) |
Date: December 16th, 2005 6:29 PM Author: pearl violent psychic mood
Long ago, when an inferior poster tried to make a point, Chuck Norris destroyed him with such ferocity and quickness that the poster killed himself immediately. When later asked about the incident, GTO replied:
Poster Was Norrised
And PWN was born.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=320941&forum_id=2#4582360) |
Date: December 16th, 2005 6:34 PM Author: Metal trailer park
Cool Guys with Cool Haircuts in Delta Force
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=320941&forum_id=2#4582406) |
Date: December 16th, 2005 6:35 PM Author: Metal trailer park
Walker, TTTexas Ranger
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=320941&forum_id=2#4582420) |
Date: December 16th, 2005 6:35 PM Author: Overrated mauve puppy
Egg's RoboCop art was actually Chuck Norris in a RoboCop costume
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=320941&forum_id=2#4582424) |
Date: December 16th, 2005 6:42 PM Author: Internet-worthy faggotry parlour
Chuck Norris has never had amazing sex with someone NOT his boyfriend, because Chuck Norris is not a fag.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=320941&forum_id=2#4582489) |
Date: December 16th, 2005 6:47 PM Author: naked ratface
A gell-headed Chuck Norris crushed Evan-2001/Dan's face using only his beard. Because he had been keeping an eye out for him.
Well, wasn't that a nice end-of-semester surprise!
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=320941&forum_id=2#4582533) |
Date: December 16th, 2005 6:48 PM Author: Overrated mauve puppy
Chuck Norris RIPPED OFF HIS NUTS
I dont think of myself as a shit eating faggot, I think of myself as CHUCK NORRIS
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=320941&forum_id=2#4582542)
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Date: December 16th, 2005 6:55 PM Author: beady-eyed ticket booth sweet tailpipe
Bill McHenry was actually nullo'ed when Chuck Norris flipped out and created a nullifying sonic boom after trying to roundhouse kick away the sadness from Snape killing Dumbledore on page 606.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=320941&forum_id=2#4582614) |
Date: December 16th, 2005 7:13 PM Author: Overrated mauve puppy
Chuck Norris won the "XOXO Smut writing contest" simply by writing "Chuck Norris's penis is hard"
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=320941&forum_id=2#4582772) |
Date: December 17th, 2005 1:04 PM Author: Dun Gunner
Chuck Norris City WAS built in a day by Chuck Norris before he sold it to the Ancient Romans.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=320941&forum_id=2#4588682) |
Date: December 30th, 2005 1:07 PM Author: Bateful seedy forum
I just read about Chuck Norris in US Weekly. Those guys at the football game were real jerks
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=320941&forum_id=2#4695542) |
Date: December 30th, 2005 2:24 PM Author: Flushed School
The guy sitting next to me drew Chuck Norris on his torts exam.
Instead of a grade, the professor roundhouse kicked him in the face.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=320941&forum_id=2#4695953) |
Date: December 30th, 2005 2:29 PM Author: very tactful stage
Robocop is curator of the Museum of Modern Chuck Norris Art.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=320941&forum_id=2#4695981) |
Date: December 30th, 2005 2:43 PM Author: Histrionic pink jew candlestick maker
Chuck Norris is more prestigious than Biglaw
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=320941&forum_id=2#4696079) |
Date: December 30th, 2005 3:53 PM Author: Overrated mauve puppy
Chuck Norris won the "Would Anyone raise kids in a city" debate with a roundhouse
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=320941&forum_id=2#4696514) |
Date: January 4th, 2006 5:40 PM Author: Overrated mauve puppy
chuck norris once hate fucked jill
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=320941&forum_id=2#4734007) |
Date: January 4th, 2006 5:46 PM Author: thriller locale
Chuck Norris notified Haley Jo Osmond, at the time a 6 year old child, that Osmond had contracted the HIV/AIDs virus.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=320941&forum_id=2#4734047) |
Date: January 4th, 2006 5:47 PM Author: hairraiser institution pozpig
Chuck Norris has a room in which he mounts the heads of Feministes he has beheaded via roundhouse kick. The number of heads is equal to the number of Feministes he has had sex with.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=320941&forum_id=2#4734055) |
Date: February 5th, 2006 4:16 PM Author: Overrated mauve puppy
Chuck Norris gave Madame Cunt AIDS without giving her HIV. This is the source of her "AIDS knowledge."
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=320941&forum_id=2#5002308) |
Date: February 5th, 2006 4:22 PM Author: Contagious kitchen milk
Chuck Norris can kill people with his mind and then resurrect them with his mind so fast that you don't notice anything has happened.
And then he will kill them with a roundhouse kick to the face.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=320941&forum_id=2#5002360) |
Date: February 5th, 2006 4:34 PM Author: Bearded telephone indirect expression
Hey Chuck Norris, Poetic Dreamer wants his virginity back
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=320941&forum_id=2#5002489) |
Date: February 5th, 2006 4:59 PM Author: Floppy Liquid Oxygen
Non-Chuck Norris threads bump themselves so that they may be closer to Chuck Norris-related threads.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=320941&forum_id=2#5002727) |
Date: February 5th, 2006 5:00 PM Author: yellow soul-stirring abode selfie
Chuck Norris got in everywhere he applied!
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=320941&forum_id=2#5002736) |
Date: February 5th, 2006 5:06 PM Author: Nighttime main people rigor
chuck norris came here and told me a bunch of funy jokes!!!111 unfortunately, i don't remember them because he also gave me a roundhouse kick to the face.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=320941&forum_id=2#5002794) |
Date: February 5th, 2006 5:32 PM Author: infuriating kitty cat
Chuck Norris' roundhouse kicks are both shrewd and decadent.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=320941&forum_id=2#5003029) |
Date: February 5th, 2006 8:34 PM Author: Contagious kitchen milk
Chuck Norris can fart naked all he wants and never get diarrhea all over the carpet.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=320941&forum_id=2#5004352) |
Date: October 8th, 2006 1:24 AM Author: Buck-toothed round eye
Chuck Norris jokes never get old
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=320941&forum_id=2#6748471) |
Date: October 8th, 2006 2:06 AM Author: Sapphire electric pistol weed whacker
chuck norris discovered that FAGGOT FIREFIGHTERS caused all the deaths during 9/11 and killed anne frank.
chuck norris' flow is slick and smooth like diarrhea
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=320941&forum_id=2#6748761) |
Date: October 8th, 2006 6:43 AM Author: deep trip regret theater
is an old useless fuck who was Bruce Lee's bitch and was never any good at a martial art dominated by Asians. he got to where he was by being white, sort of like Vanilla Ice.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=320941&forum_id=2#6749122) |
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