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Protip: Invest 300K, commit felony, live off compounded interest when u get out
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Poast new message in this thread
Date: October 26th, 2016 9:10 AM Author: balding sienna theatre fortuitous meteor The money will just grow while you live rent-free and you don't have to work. You can have a small amount in dividend-producing stocks and just arrange for it to direct deposit into your commissary account, so no need to even get a prison job. This is basically your only shot at retirement. "Structuring" is a good felony that's easy to commit, just keep depositing and withdrawing 9,900 from the bank until the feds come and start asking questions. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3399337&forum_id=2#31729707) |
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Date: October 26th, 2016 11:40 PM Author: Pontificating Orchid Native Dopamine A) Your candy slant ass would get fucking raped and beaten in prison repeatedly.
B) They force you to get a job to get earned time, otherwise you do day for day, of the aforementioned ass raping and beating. |
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Date: October 27th, 2016 9:19 AM Author: balding sienna theatre fortuitous meteor A) We're most likely talking about minimum security federal prison here. But, worst case scenario, that is still better than biglaw. You could always lash out at a guard and get left alone in solitary, which is not an option in biglaw.
B) The entire premise is to do time to get compound interest to work, so getting a job to "earn time" would be counterproductive. |
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Date: February 10th, 2020 12:04 PM Author: Chartreuse Slippery Rigor (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3399337&forum_id=2#39570954) |
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Date: February 10th, 2020 1:43 PM Author: low-t odious orchestra pit Associates lash out at Partners periodically in BIGLAW. The associate is then either frozen out of work and let go, or placed on leave only to return to an environment where they are frozen out of work, and eventually let go. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3399337&forum_id=2#39571423) |
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Date: March 9th, 2020 10:45 AM Author: balding sienna theatre fortuitous meteor (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3399337&forum_id=2#39721876) |
Date: October 26th, 2016 9:17 AM Author: effete electric furnace (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3399337&forum_id=2#31729738) |
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Date: October 26th, 2016 9:19 AM Author: geriatric stock car (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3399337&forum_id=2#31729749) |
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Date: October 26th, 2016 9:21 AM Author: Fantasy-prone cruise ship partner shrewd (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3399337&forum_id=2#31729759) |
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Date: October 26th, 2016 9:22 AM Author: Adulterous exhilarant laser beams (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3399337&forum_id=2#31729765) |
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Date: October 26th, 2016 9:40 AM Author: Violent Peach Becky Queen Of The Night so basically, get out of jail in 5 years at age 35-40 with 400K in savings and no job prospects. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3399337&forum_id=2#31729841) |
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Date: October 26th, 2016 9:41 AM Author: balding sienna theatre fortuitous meteor Yes, this is a top 1% outcome for lawyers. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3399337&forum_id=2#31729845) |
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Date: October 26th, 2016 11:19 AM Author: Burgundy wrinkle coffee pot (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3399337&forum_id=2#31730414) |
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Date: October 26th, 2016 11:18 PM Author: insanely creepy idea he suggested property (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3399337&forum_id=2#31735306) |
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Date: December 14th, 2016 2:41 PM Author: Contagious spot gaping (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3399337&forum_id=2#32139699) |
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Date: December 16th, 2016 4:26 PM Author: geriatric stock car (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3399337&forum_id=2#32158457) |
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Date: June 21st, 2017 2:59 PM Author: mewling cuckoldry (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3399337&forum_id=2#33610430) |
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Date: November 16th, 2017 1:02 PM Author: Abnormal copper clown parlor (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3399337&forum_id=2#34701056) |
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Date: June 2nd, 2018 7:48 AM Author: Soggy vigorous step-uncle's house (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3399337&forum_id=2#36170153) |
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Date: June 2nd, 2018 8:16 AM Author: rose nowag preventive strike (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3399337&forum_id=2#36170233) |
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Date: January 4th, 2020 1:21 PM Author: misanthropic ceo (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3399337&forum_id=2#39376467) |
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Date: January 4th, 2020 1:21 PM Author: greedy sick turdskin (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3399337&forum_id=2#39376471) |
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Date: February 10th, 2020 12:04 PM Author: Chartreuse Slippery Rigor (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3399337&forum_id=2#39570956) |
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Date: October 26th, 2016 9:50 AM Author: mewling cuckoldry Brutal rape with hate tack-on is definitely more than 5 years brah. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3399337&forum_id=2#31729882) |
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Date: October 26th, 2016 11:15 AM Author: balding sienna theatre fortuitous meteor (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3399337&forum_id=2#31730376) |
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Date: October 26th, 2016 11:17 AM Author: Fantasy-prone cruise ship partner Just do the crime and go back in the slammer for longer for repeat offense. Youll be cookin with gas then. Reminder: there is lots of work in prison at the library for law types (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3399337&forum_id=2#31730389) |
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Date: October 26th, 2016 11:59 AM Author: Mind-boggling Cerise Range You can also pass the time by helping some of your retarded colleagues with their "court cases." (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3399337&forum_id=2#31730688) |
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Date: October 26th, 2016 6:01 PM Author: balding sienna theatre fortuitous meteor CR, a lot of them are suing the government for millions. If just one case is successful and you get a contingency, you're even more set for life. Prison is probably the only place where you won't have to compete with other shitlawyers and you are, essentially, always networking. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3399337&forum_id=2#31733137) |
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Date: October 26th, 2016 6:09 PM Author: floppy people who are hurt shrine this could be a really good book/show (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3399337&forum_id=2#31733174) |
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Date: October 26th, 2016 9:17 PM Author: Insecure rehab antidepressant drug The 1990s HBO show Oz already did this
Tobias Beecher was a lolyer |
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Date: October 26th, 2016 9:18 PM Author: Cocky Hospital kinda like shawshank redemption except for andy escapes INTO the prison at the end (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3399337&forum_id=2#31734506) |
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Date: December 14th, 2016 2:42 PM Author: Contagious spot gaping MAF partner throws a rock through poster on the wall of your biglaw office as you make your escape (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3399337&forum_id=2#32139712) |
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Date: June 21st, 2017 3:08 PM Author: Claret crackhouse milk shitlaw warden telling you not to be acute (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3399337&forum_id=2#33610489) |
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Date: June 21st, 2017 2:49 PM Author: Buff lodge Assuming you're not disbarred, is there any reason you can't collect a fee for in-prison legal services? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3399337&forum_id=2#33610342) |
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Date: June 21st, 2017 3:05 PM Author: Buff lodge "Because no inmate may conduct a business, the assisting inmate may not receive compensation."
https://www.bop.gov/policy/progstat/1315_007.pdf |
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Date: August 1st, 2019 4:41 PM Author: Curious lake garrison Have their guys on the outside deposit into your bank account or accept crypto (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3399337&forum_id=2#38623924) |
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Date: January 4th, 2020 1:13 PM Author: balding sienna theatre fortuitous meteor (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3399337&forum_id=2#39376433) |
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Date: October 26th, 2016 5:32 PM Author: balding sienna theatre fortuitous meteor CR, you can be king of the library and just pass the time reading and working out. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3399337&forum_id=2#31732980) |
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Date: October 26th, 2016 12:49 PM Author: transparent boiling water organic girlfriend (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3399337&forum_id=2#31731096) |
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Date: October 26th, 2016 1:09 PM Author: Crystalline Keepsake Machete Center (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3399337&forum_id=2#31731245) |
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Date: October 26th, 2016 1:23 PM Author: Galvanic Blue Gay Wizard Good luck finding a crime where you would face years and wouldn't also get bitchslapped hard with fines and civil suits.
Structuring wouldn't really cut it, they don't give people serious time for that unless it takes place in conjunction with another more serious act. Look at what happened to Denny Hastert. Just 15 months for structuring. |
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Date: October 26th, 2016 1:31 PM Author: balding sienna theatre fortuitous meteor Just do your 15 months, take a month long vacation somewhere nice (but not too expensive!), then structure again and do another 15 months. You can even turn yourself in for the reward money, thus adding to your nest egg. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3399337&forum_id=2#31731394) |
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Date: October 26th, 2016 5:42 PM Author: transparent boiling water organic girlfriend This is brilliant dude ty (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3399337&forum_id=2#31733026) |
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Date: June 2nd, 2018 8:19 AM Author: rose nowag preventive strike (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3399337&forum_id=2#36170243) |
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Date: December 14th, 2016 2:38 PM Author: deranged twinkling market pozpig CR. When I was clerking, any time a white-collar defendant could pay a fine, they got got with six figs right to the dick. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3399337&forum_id=2#32139684) |
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Date: October 26th, 2016 1:27 PM Author: saffron police squad circlehead lol (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3399337&forum_id=2#31731362) |
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Date: October 26th, 2016 5:42 PM Author: Ruddy slap-happy friendly grandma I think the authorities actually fine you to recoup costs from imprisonment. It usually doesn't matter because these folks are insolvent, but they'd absolutely take that money (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3399337&forum_id=2#31733028) |
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Date: October 26th, 2016 6:01 PM Author: balding sienna theatre fortuitous meteor Some state courts do this, but the feds don't, so be sure the felony you commit is one with federal jurisdiction (like structuring mentioned in the OP). (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3399337&forum_id=2#31733139) |
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Date: October 26th, 2016 11:35 PM Author: Buff lodge Gotta set up an irrevocable trust. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3399337&forum_id=2#31735435) |
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Date: October 27th, 2016 5:20 PM Author: balding sienna theatre fortuitous meteor CR. Probably set up one irrevocable trust to own most of your portfolio, an SPE to own the dividend producing stocks, then another one to actually receive the dividends and forward the funds to your commissary, with some sort of cash sweep of excess funds back to the main irrevocable trust. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3399337&forum_id=2#31739660) |
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Date: June 21st, 2017 2:58 PM Author: Laughsome Area Sounds like something you could go to prison for (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3399337&forum_id=2#33610417) |
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Date: October 26th, 2016 6:05 PM Author: Grizzly soul-stirring church building bbw (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3399337&forum_id=2#31733160) |
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Date: October 26th, 2016 6:17 PM Author: autistic principal's office Much better idea: Blow cash while still youthful, then in your decrepit old age "retire" to prison. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3399337&forum_id=2#31733216) |
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Date: October 26th, 2016 11:35 PM Author: Buff lodge That's the plan. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3399337&forum_id=2#31735439) |
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Date: October 26th, 2016 11:37 PM Author: effete electric furnace (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3399337&forum_id=2#31735448) |
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Date: October 27th, 2016 9:18 AM Author: balding sienna theatre fortuitous meteor But then you can't take advantage of compound interest. The entire plan works because you can spend many more years on the outside. You just need the magic of compound interest and a few years in prison. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3399337&forum_id=2#31736907) |
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Date: February 10th, 2020 12:05 PM Author: Chartreuse Slippery Rigor Why not both? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3399337&forum_id=2#39570960) |
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Date: October 26th, 2016 6:52 PM Author: Cocky Hospital as u're busy depositing and withdrawing 9.9K in ur account, be sure to carefully measure the dimensions of a piano keyboard
after u gain entrance to ur prison cell, replicate the piano keyboard dimensions on a piece of long paper or cloth
while u're waiting for ur investments to compound, u can practice air piano and come out as a champion jazz pianist |
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Date: October 26th, 2016 9:15 PM Author: Clear dog poop Cr. Also be careful not to choose a crime that doesn't involve restitution. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3399337&forum_id=2#31734487) |
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Date: October 27th, 2016 12:22 PM Author: balding sienna theatre fortuitous meteor CR. With all your free time, you can alternate between working out and practicing air piano. It also seems like you would inevitably pick up a few other prison skills. By the time you get out, you'll be a Renaissance man who doesn't have to work. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3399337&forum_id=2#31737687) |
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Date: June 2nd, 2018 8:20 AM Author: rose nowag preventive strike (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3399337&forum_id=2#36170245) |
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Date: October 26th, 2016 9:18 PM Author: Maroon exciting athletic conference striped hyena *gets restitution pwned* (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3399337&forum_id=2#31734505) |
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Date: October 26th, 2016 11:38 PM Author: Buff lodge There are lots of crimes with no restitution. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3399337&forum_id=2#31735463) |
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Date: October 27th, 2016 12:23 PM Author: balding sienna theatre fortuitous meteor There's no restitution element to structuring. You have to due diligence on the felony you're going to commit, that's just common sense. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3399337&forum_id=2#31737691) |
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Date: December 14th, 2016 2:31 PM Author: balding sienna theatre fortuitous meteor With the interest rate hike, now is the time to do this. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3399337&forum_id=2#32139622) |
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Date: December 16th, 2016 3:36 PM Author: Adulterous exhilarant laser beams (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3399337&forum_id=2#32158031) |
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Date: December 16th, 2016 4:02 PM Author: Puce provocative azn doctorate Bonus: Lose ur mind in C-Block & go totally apeshit + job offers all over the criminal underworld
Jail/prison is basically a job expo |
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Date: December 16th, 2016 4:24 PM Author: balding sienna theatre fortuitous meteor CR. Prison is great because it boosts your criminal network and you'll also inevitably pick up skills for your next "job," which makes it better than law school in at least two ways. Three, if you count that there's no such thing as a prison student loan. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3399337&forum_id=2#32158445) |
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Date: December 16th, 2016 6:11 PM Author: Puce provocative azn doctorate aint nobody teachin u how to sharpen a plastic spork handle into a shiv @ LOLSCHOOL (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3399337&forum_id=2#32159540) |
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Date: August 1st, 2019 4:08 PM Author: balding sienna theatre fortuitous meteor (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3399337&forum_id=2#38623784) |
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Date: December 16th, 2016 6:24 PM Author: rose nowag preventive strike Hahahaha
Best retirement plan ever |
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Date: June 21st, 2017 2:47 PM Author: Buff lodge Saving is for suckers. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3399337&forum_id=2#33610331) |
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Date: December 16th, 2016 7:01 PM Author: rose nowag preventive strike (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3399337&forum_id=2#32159968) |
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Date: July 8th, 2017 6:42 PM Author: rose nowag preventive strike (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3399337&forum_id=2#33730274) |
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Date: July 8th, 2017 6:45 PM Author: Appetizing Indian Lodge Therapy (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3399337&forum_id=2#33730294) |
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Date: July 8th, 2017 6:46 PM Author: honey-headed splenetic liquid oxygen hissy fit Can you play video games in prison? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3399337&forum_id=2#33730304) |
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Date: June 2nd, 2018 7:45 AM Author: balding sienna theatre fortuitous meteor benzo appears to have misunderstood this advice. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3399337&forum_id=2#36170144) |
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Date: December 2nd, 2021 10:18 AM Author: balding sienna theatre fortuitous meteor (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3399337&forum_id=2#43545114) |
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Date: January 4th, 2020 1:34 PM Author: vivacious free-loading hell On top of that, you can sign up for PSLF and get ur loans forgiven because u were working for the state prison system for 10 years. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3399337&forum_id=2#39376536) |
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Date: February 10th, 2020 11:57 AM Author: balding sienna theatre fortuitous meteor shrewd (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3399337&forum_id=2#39570910) |
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Date: February 10th, 2020 12:00 PM Author: Passionate library Do POWs from the army continue getting a salary while imprisoned? If so, you could just get kidnapped by the Taliban and chill for a few years. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3399337&forum_id=2#39570931) |
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Date: February 10th, 2020 12:03 PM Author: Haunting Orange Old Irish Cottage better lifehack:
1) quit ur job 2) drive uber on the side 3) live with ur parents or in your car 4) put all ur money into an ETF
bam. same thing as OP except u can put a few thousand a month into your savings AND u don't get raped in prison by big black men |
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Date: March 9th, 2020 10:47 AM Author: navy slimy pit new version why not just retire in thailand or vietnam? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3399337&forum_id=2#39721887) |
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Date: March 9th, 2020 12:12 PM Author: balding sienna theatre fortuitous meteor The prisons there are very unpleasant (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3399337&forum_id=2#39722571) |
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Date: June 25th, 2021 6:03 PM Author: balding sienna theatre fortuitous meteor XO Chauvin on the easy street to retirement (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3399337&forum_id=2#42686660) |