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Protip: Invest 300K, commit felony, live off compounded interest when u get out
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Poast new message in this thread
Date: October 26th, 2016 9:10 AM Author: Bipolar Spectacular Mediation The money will just grow while you live rent-free and you don't have to work. You can have a small amount in dividend-producing stocks and just arrange for it to direct deposit into your commissary account, so no need to even get a prison job. This is basically your only shot at retirement. "Structuring" is a good felony that's easy to commit, just keep depositing and withdrawing 9,900 from the bank until the feds come and start asking questions. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3399337&forum_id=2#31729707) |
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Date: October 26th, 2016 11:40 PM Author: beady-eyed ruby nowag genital piercing A) Your candy slant ass would get fucking raped and beaten in prison repeatedly.
B) They force you to get a job to get earned time, otherwise you do day for day, of the aforementioned ass raping and beating. |
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Date: October 27th, 2016 9:19 AM Author: Bipolar Spectacular Mediation A) We're most likely talking about minimum security federal prison here. But, worst case scenario, that is still better than biglaw. You could always lash out at a guard and get left alone in solitary, which is not an option in biglaw.
B) The entire premise is to do time to get compound interest to work, so getting a job to "earn time" would be counterproductive. |
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Date: February 10th, 2020 12:04 PM Author: Vigorous azure national pozpig (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3399337&forum_id=2#39570954) |
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Date: February 10th, 2020 1:43 PM Author: cracking shrine Associates lash out at Partners periodically in BIGLAW. The associate is then either frozen out of work and let go, or placed on leave only to return to an environment where they are frozen out of work, and eventually let go. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3399337&forum_id=2#39571423) |
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Date: March 9th, 2020 10:45 AM Author: Bipolar Spectacular Mediation (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3399337&forum_id=2#39721876) |
Date: October 26th, 2016 9:17 AM Author: haunting contagious organic girlfriend tank (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3399337&forum_id=2#31729738) |
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Date: October 26th, 2016 9:19 AM Author: Misanthropic Alcoholic Queen Of The Night Indian Lodge (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3399337&forum_id=2#31729749) |
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Date: October 26th, 2016 9:21 AM Author: Big range marketing idea shrewd (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3399337&forum_id=2#31729759) |
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Date: October 26th, 2016 9:22 AM Author: Fighting erotic national security agency (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3399337&forum_id=2#31729765) |
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Date: October 26th, 2016 9:40 AM Author: laughsome bespoke trailer park so basically, get out of jail in 5 years at age 35-40 with 400K in savings and no job prospects. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3399337&forum_id=2#31729841) |
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Date: October 26th, 2016 9:41 AM Author: Bipolar Spectacular Mediation Yes, this is a top 1% outcome for lawyers. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3399337&forum_id=2#31729845) |
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Date: October 26th, 2016 11:19 AM Author: lascivious confused round eye azn (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3399337&forum_id=2#31730414) |
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Date: October 26th, 2016 11:18 PM Author: trip sneaky criminal generalized bond (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3399337&forum_id=2#31735306) |
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Date: December 14th, 2016 2:41 PM Author: Khaki kitty rigpig (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3399337&forum_id=2#32139699) |
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Date: December 16th, 2016 4:26 PM Author: Misanthropic Alcoholic Queen Of The Night Indian Lodge (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3399337&forum_id=2#32158457) |
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Date: June 21st, 2017 2:59 PM Author: Claret medicated sanctuary mad cow disease (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3399337&forum_id=2#33610430) |
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Date: November 16th, 2017 1:02 PM Author: Chest-beating Multi-colored Milk Home (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3399337&forum_id=2#34701056) |
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Date: June 2nd, 2018 7:48 AM Author: Sick provocative mexican institution (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3399337&forum_id=2#36170153) |
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Date: June 2nd, 2018 8:16 AM Author: Marvelous gas station (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3399337&forum_id=2#36170233) |
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Date: January 4th, 2020 1:21 PM Author: yapping lime address international law enforcement agency (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3399337&forum_id=2#39376467) |
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Date: January 4th, 2020 1:21 PM Author: cerise razzmatazz ape (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3399337&forum_id=2#39376471) |
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Date: February 10th, 2020 12:04 PM Author: Vigorous azure national pozpig (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3399337&forum_id=2#39570956) |
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Date: October 26th, 2016 9:50 AM Author: Claret medicated sanctuary mad cow disease Brutal rape with hate tack-on is definitely more than 5 years brah. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3399337&forum_id=2#31729882) |
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Date: October 26th, 2016 11:15 AM Author: Bipolar Spectacular Mediation (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3399337&forum_id=2#31730376) |
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Date: October 26th, 2016 11:17 AM Author: Big range marketing idea Just do the crime and go back in the slammer for longer for repeat offense. Youll be cookin with gas then. Reminder: there is lots of work in prison at the library for law types (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3399337&forum_id=2#31730389) |
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Date: October 26th, 2016 11:59 AM Author: Lavender razzle dragon You can also pass the time by helping some of your retarded colleagues with their "court cases." (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3399337&forum_id=2#31730688) |
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Date: October 26th, 2016 6:01 PM Author: Bipolar Spectacular Mediation CR, a lot of them are suing the government for millions. If just one case is successful and you get a contingency, you're even more set for life. Prison is probably the only place where you won't have to compete with other shitlawyers and you are, essentially, always networking. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3399337&forum_id=2#31733137) |
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Date: October 26th, 2016 6:09 PM Author: Jet mood this could be a really good book/show (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3399337&forum_id=2#31733174) |
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Date: October 26th, 2016 9:17 PM Author: costumed center athletic conference The 1990s HBO show Oz already did this
Tobias Beecher was a lolyer |
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Date: October 26th, 2016 9:18 PM Author: orange internal respiration kinda like shawshank redemption except for andy escapes INTO the prison at the end (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3399337&forum_id=2#31734506) |
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Date: December 14th, 2016 2:42 PM Author: Khaki kitty rigpig MAF partner throws a rock through poster on the wall of your biglaw office as you make your escape (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3399337&forum_id=2#32139712) |
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Date: June 21st, 2017 3:08 PM Author: Cerebral associate shitlaw warden telling you not to be acute (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3399337&forum_id=2#33610489) |
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Date: June 21st, 2017 2:49 PM Author: Learning disabled tattoo jewess Assuming you're not disbarred, is there any reason you can't collect a fee for in-prison legal services? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3399337&forum_id=2#33610342) |
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Date: June 21st, 2017 3:05 PM Author: Learning disabled tattoo jewess "Because no inmate may conduct a business, the assisting inmate may not receive compensation."
https://www.bop.gov/policy/progstat/1315_007.pdf |
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Date: August 1st, 2019 4:41 PM Author: excitant carmine locus travel guidebook Have their guys on the outside deposit into your bank account or accept crypto (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3399337&forum_id=2#38623924) |
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Date: January 4th, 2020 1:13 PM Author: Bipolar Spectacular Mediation (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3399337&forum_id=2#39376433) |
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Date: October 26th, 2016 5:32 PM Author: Bipolar Spectacular Mediation CR, you can be king of the library and just pass the time reading and working out. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3399337&forum_id=2#31732980) |
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Date: October 26th, 2016 12:49 PM Author: sepia digit ratio (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3399337&forum_id=2#31731096) |
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Date: October 26th, 2016 1:09 PM Author: high-end duck-like hall (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3399337&forum_id=2#31731245) |
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Date: October 26th, 2016 1:23 PM Author: Hairraiser scourge upon the earth rehab Good luck finding a crime where you would face years and wouldn't also get bitchslapped hard with fines and civil suits.
Structuring wouldn't really cut it, they don't give people serious time for that unless it takes place in conjunction with another more serious act. Look at what happened to Denny Hastert. Just 15 months for structuring. |
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Date: October 26th, 2016 1:31 PM Author: Bipolar Spectacular Mediation Just do your 15 months, take a month long vacation somewhere nice (but not too expensive!), then structure again and do another 15 months. You can even turn yourself in for the reward money, thus adding to your nest egg. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3399337&forum_id=2#31731394) |
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Date: October 26th, 2016 5:42 PM Author: sepia digit ratio This is brilliant dude ty (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3399337&forum_id=2#31733026) |
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Date: June 2nd, 2018 8:19 AM Author: Marvelous gas station (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3399337&forum_id=2#36170243) |
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Date: December 14th, 2016 2:38 PM Author: Bright Sexy Stage CR. When I was clerking, any time a white-collar defendant could pay a fine, they got got with six figs right to the dick. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3399337&forum_id=2#32139684) |
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Date: October 26th, 2016 1:27 PM Author: Mentally impaired bull headed piazza legal warrant lol (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3399337&forum_id=2#31731362) |
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Date: October 26th, 2016 5:42 PM Author: rebellious school cafeteria I think the authorities actually fine you to recoup costs from imprisonment. It usually doesn't matter because these folks are insolvent, but they'd absolutely take that money (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3399337&forum_id=2#31733028) |
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Date: October 26th, 2016 6:01 PM Author: Bipolar Spectacular Mediation Some state courts do this, but the feds don't, so be sure the felony you commit is one with federal jurisdiction (like structuring mentioned in the OP). (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3399337&forum_id=2#31733139) |
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Date: October 26th, 2016 11:35 PM Author: Learning disabled tattoo jewess Gotta set up an irrevocable trust. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3399337&forum_id=2#31735435) |
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Date: October 27th, 2016 5:20 PM Author: Bipolar Spectacular Mediation CR. Probably set up one irrevocable trust to own most of your portfolio, an SPE to own the dividend producing stocks, then another one to actually receive the dividends and forward the funds to your commissary, with some sort of cash sweep of excess funds back to the main irrevocable trust. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3399337&forum_id=2#31739660) |
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Date: June 21st, 2017 2:58 PM Author: Hyperactive sapphire resort Sounds like something you could go to prison for (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3399337&forum_id=2#33610417) |
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Date: October 26th, 2016 6:05 PM Author: hideous magenta forum (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3399337&forum_id=2#31733160) |
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Date: October 26th, 2016 6:17 PM Author: Orchid corner Much better idea: Blow cash while still youthful, then in your decrepit old age "retire" to prison. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3399337&forum_id=2#31733216) |
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Date: October 26th, 2016 11:35 PM Author: Learning disabled tattoo jewess That's the plan. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3399337&forum_id=2#31735439) |
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Date: October 26th, 2016 11:37 PM Author: haunting contagious organic girlfriend tank (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3399337&forum_id=2#31735448) |
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Date: October 27th, 2016 9:18 AM Author: Bipolar Spectacular Mediation But then you can't take advantage of compound interest. The entire plan works because you can spend many more years on the outside. You just need the magic of compound interest and a few years in prison. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3399337&forum_id=2#31736907) |
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Date: February 10th, 2020 12:05 PM Author: Vigorous azure national pozpig Why not both? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3399337&forum_id=2#39570960) |
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Date: October 26th, 2016 6:52 PM Author: orange internal respiration as u're busy depositing and withdrawing 9.9K in ur account, be sure to carefully measure the dimensions of a piano keyboard
after u gain entrance to ur prison cell, replicate the piano keyboard dimensions on a piece of long paper or cloth
while u're waiting for ur investments to compound, u can practice air piano and come out as a champion jazz pianist |
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Date: October 26th, 2016 9:15 PM Author: very tactful slippery quadroon toaster Cr. Also be careful not to choose a crime that doesn't involve restitution. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3399337&forum_id=2#31734487) |
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Date: October 27th, 2016 12:22 PM Author: Bipolar Spectacular Mediation CR. With all your free time, you can alternate between working out and practicing air piano. It also seems like you would inevitably pick up a few other prison skills. By the time you get out, you'll be a Renaissance man who doesn't have to work. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3399337&forum_id=2#31737687) |
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Date: June 2nd, 2018 8:20 AM Author: Marvelous gas station (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3399337&forum_id=2#36170245) |
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Date: October 26th, 2016 9:18 PM Author: wine fragrant hairy legs church *gets restitution pwned* (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3399337&forum_id=2#31734505) |
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Date: October 26th, 2016 11:38 PM Author: Learning disabled tattoo jewess There are lots of crimes with no restitution. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3399337&forum_id=2#31735463) |
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Date: October 27th, 2016 12:23 PM Author: Bipolar Spectacular Mediation There's no restitution element to structuring. You have to due diligence on the felony you're going to commit, that's just common sense. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3399337&forum_id=2#31737691) |
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Date: December 14th, 2016 2:31 PM Author: Bipolar Spectacular Mediation With the interest rate hike, now is the time to do this. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3399337&forum_id=2#32139622) |
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Date: December 16th, 2016 3:36 PM Author: Fighting erotic national security agency (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3399337&forum_id=2#32158031) |
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Date: December 16th, 2016 4:02 PM Author: floppy topaz box office roommate Bonus: Lose ur mind in C-Block & go totally apeshit + job offers all over the criminal underworld
Jail/prison is basically a job expo |
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Date: December 16th, 2016 4:24 PM Author: Bipolar Spectacular Mediation CR. Prison is great because it boosts your criminal network and you'll also inevitably pick up skills for your next "job," which makes it better than law school in at least two ways. Three, if you count that there's no such thing as a prison student loan. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3399337&forum_id=2#32158445) |
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Date: December 16th, 2016 6:11 PM Author: floppy topaz box office roommate aint nobody teachin u how to sharpen a plastic spork handle into a shiv @ LOLSCHOOL (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3399337&forum_id=2#32159540) |
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Date: August 1st, 2019 4:08 PM Author: Bipolar Spectacular Mediation (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3399337&forum_id=2#38623784) |
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Date: December 16th, 2016 6:24 PM Author: Marvelous gas station Hahahaha
Best retirement plan ever |
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Date: June 21st, 2017 2:47 PM Author: Learning disabled tattoo jewess Saving is for suckers. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3399337&forum_id=2#33610331) |
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Date: December 16th, 2016 7:01 PM Author: Marvelous gas station (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3399337&forum_id=2#32159968) |
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Date: July 8th, 2017 6:42 PM Author: Marvelous gas station (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3399337&forum_id=2#33730274) |
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Date: July 8th, 2017 6:45 PM Author: vengeful black woman public bath (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3399337&forum_id=2#33730294) |
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Date: July 8th, 2017 6:46 PM Author: glittery kitchen Can you play video games in prison? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3399337&forum_id=2#33730304) |
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Date: June 2nd, 2018 7:45 AM Author: Bipolar Spectacular Mediation benzo appears to have misunderstood this advice. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3399337&forum_id=2#36170144) |
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Date: December 2nd, 2021 10:18 AM Author: Bipolar Spectacular Mediation (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3399337&forum_id=2#43545114) |
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Date: January 4th, 2020 1:34 PM Author: lake boyish house foreskin On top of that, you can sign up for PSLF and get ur loans forgiven because u were working for the state prison system for 10 years. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3399337&forum_id=2#39376536) |
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Date: February 10th, 2020 11:57 AM Author: Bipolar Spectacular Mediation shrewd (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3399337&forum_id=2#39570910) |
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Date: February 10th, 2020 12:00 PM Author: Galvanic Awkward Theater Stage Do POWs from the army continue getting a salary while imprisoned? If so, you could just get kidnapped by the Taliban and chill for a few years. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3399337&forum_id=2#39570931) |
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Date: February 10th, 2020 12:03 PM Author: mind-boggling hot stage trust fund better lifehack:
1) quit ur job 2) drive uber on the side 3) live with ur parents or in your car 4) put all ur money into an ETF
bam. same thing as OP except u can put a few thousand a month into your savings AND u don't get raped in prison by big black men |
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Date: March 9th, 2020 10:47 AM Author: olive insecure theater why not just retire in thailand or vietnam? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3399337&forum_id=2#39721887) |
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Date: March 9th, 2020 12:12 PM Author: Bipolar Spectacular Mediation The prisons there are very unpleasant (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3399337&forum_id=2#39722571) |
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Date: June 25th, 2021 6:03 PM Author: Bipolar Spectacular Mediation XO Chauvin on the easy street to retirement (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3399337&forum_id=2#42686660) |