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Can't concentrate for more than 15m at a shot. Leaden paralysis.

Working is excruciating. Gdi.
Frozen garrison
  10/17/17
Got out of it. Needed proprietary methods. Dangerous.
Frozen garrison
  10/21/17
In leaden paralysis, you're unable to will voluntary muscle ...
Frozen garrison
  10/21/17


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Date: October 17th, 2017 4:19 PM
Author: Frozen garrison

Working is excruciating. Gdi.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3766901&forum_id=2#34464379)



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Date: October 21st, 2017 12:53 AM
Author: Frozen garrison

Got out of it. Needed proprietary methods. Dangerous.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3766901&forum_id=2#34492620)



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Date: October 21st, 2017 8:28 AM
Author: Frozen garrison

In leaden paralysis, you're unable to will voluntary muscle movement. Your votive force has been spilled out - you're left staring at a wall unblinking until forced to move. It's one of the most important signs of atypical depression (together with trait rejection sensitivity).

It's tempting to speculate, in a humanist mode, about the diathesis for rejection sensitivity. Trait rejection sensitivity forms the nucleus of the "annoying" cluster of PD's -- and the trait itself describes a poetic sensibility, the type of guy who picks up too much in the air and is affected too greatly by it. So one might say "mad Ireland hurt him into poetry," et cetera. Fun, but in the end useful only for bar chatter.

A more useful approach is to isolate causal bundles associated with the disorder and figure out the most efficient way to alter or unwind them. 'Atypical depression' is genetically loaded & heterogeneous. E.g., http://sci-hub.cc/10.1038/mp.2015.57; http://sci-hub.cc/http://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0165032716301343 (summarizing twin studies: "The familial heritability of the atypical subtype was 0.46 (95%CI 0.21-0.71), whereas that of the melancholic subtype was 0.33 (95%CI 0.21-0.45."). It responds preferentially to MAO-I's (relative to melancholic), and has been linked to certain genes related to neural inflammation. E.g., id.

There's much excitement in systems bio as the various causal pathways are mapped, bit by bit. The route between diathesis and stress needn't remain a black box - for example, rejection sensitivity can be operationalized as oversensitivity to social rejection cues PLUS some breakdown or other in the normal procedures for dealing w/ inflammation from psychosocial stress, & the mechanisms at each step have been investigated (if preliminarily). The neuroinflammation model also helps to integrate findings re: disrupted circadian rhythms having an impact -- etc.etc.

But I digress - most of that knowledge has yet to be reduced to practical wisdom which can be deployed in crisis, even though it's good to have a handle on it in coming up with a plan to deal with crisis.

And a crisis I faced! Sitting there, propped up at desk, staring a monitor in a posture meant to convey deep contemplation. I did not face a mood problem - no sadness, just unable to move. Nor a thought problem ~ thoughts associated with pathological rejection sensitivity are easy to detect and interrogate away with some experience.

Even so, the leaden paralysis alone would soon lead to full-blown depression and withdrawal from society. Being unable to move without some outside force leads to social withdrawal, which leads to a paucity of intrinsically rewarding activities, which leads to your reference sample of "mood picture" memories being dull and drab, which leads to even less of an appetite to move & melancholic features creeping in, etc. Not good, man.

I would write of the causal levers that got me out of this mess, but doubt there is any interest on this boart.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3766901&forum_id=2#34493313)