I am surprised misogynist XO is so anti divorce
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Date: October 18th, 2017 10:16 PM Author: Beta narrow-minded abode
children of divorce don't feel they suddenly have 2 homes.
they feel they are homeless.
unless relationship was terrible, divorce is selfish and for the mom and or dad, not for the children.
your future GFs, BFs will innately want to kill and/or fuck your children.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768260&forum_id=2#34475795) |
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Date: October 18th, 2017 10:18 PM Author: pearl mood
being honest and racist. and stupid, but meaning well.
i just want justice and truth. and beauty. and i bemoan all the terror of life sometimes.
thats pretty much my shtick.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768260&forum_id=2#34475820) |
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Date: October 19th, 2017 9:59 AM Author: Fluffy rehab really tough guy
The 18 thing is sort of flame. I get the notion that you wait until they're out of the house, but I have a couple close work friends who are going through divorces and their youngests are now at college and it's still brutal and the kids are still losing their shit. I'm aware of other examples where the adult kids are relieved, but I'm also aware of examples where the kids recognize their parents were a horrible match and they're glad their parents separated when they were young so they don't remember the tension and fights (IME usually scenarios that don't involve step moms and step dads). Your adult kids will be histrionic if you basically did a good job hiding from them how unhappy your marriage was, so all that work to put their needs first ends up being for nothing in their eyes.
This is just XO being stupidly doctrinaire about a complex issue, like usual. You fuck your kids up by staying if your relationship with your wife is toxic enough. And even if you stay in good shape and pull chicks, enjoy all the new-found freedom, and you have enough money to enjoy life it's still shitty to have the person who was the center of your life grow to hate you. And it's completely devastating if your adult kids take her side and cut you off (which is what happened to one of my work friends).
The bottom line is that if you get married and have kids you need to work very hard to make the marriage good and keep it that way because all the alternatives from that point forward are way fucking worse.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768260&forum_id=2#34478127) |
Date: October 18th, 2017 11:24 PM Author: cobalt vivacious rigpig people who are hurt
Xoxo is not mysogynist. By any objective standard, we love women here. We obsess over fempoasters to the point of celebrity. We love rate her threads. Our love of women knows no bounds.
We do hate masculine, ruined megashrews who have given up their femininity for trivial gc bullshit. It is not women we hate. These Shrews have nothing in common with women.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768260&forum_id=2#34476357) |
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Date: October 19th, 2017 9:29 AM Author: floppy plum crackhouse party of the first part
That's because they create a Venn diagram issue for themselves.
As they become more successful they often look for a mate who is equally or more successful, in addition to other characteristics they might desire, and that drastically reduces the amount of available men, which starts to make it exceedingly hard for them to find a man who wants them back out of that small pool.
This is compounded by the fact that successful men often don't care much about having a wife who has a successful career, in large part because those men are already successful and the marginal value of more career success in a household is low. I.e., women and men look for different things in a mate.
I mean, if I'm a biglaw partner pulling down $2M per year, am I really gonna look for a workaholic shrew making $500k, $1M or $2M per year, or would I rather have someone hot, who takes care of all the other shit that I don't have the time to address, and who can raise a loving family with me?
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768260&forum_id=2#34477958) |
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Date: October 19th, 2017 9:48 AM Author: idiotic blathering tattoo
I was thinking specifically of female lawyers - like superior court judges, the most successful BIGLAW partners, etc. A lot of them don't have kids.
I imagine its the same in other professional fields at the very apex, e.g for female surgeons.
EDIT: googled:
"However, not surprisingly, Kin found that the exceptional demands of surgery affected women’s careers and family trajectories differently than men’s. Twenty-five percent of female surgeons are single, compared to only 6 percent of male surgeons. Similarly, Kin discovered that 60 percent of female surgeons have children versus 92 percent of male surgeons."
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768260&forum_id=2#34478045) |
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Date: October 19th, 2017 12:29 PM Author: Outnumbered flushed striped hyena piazza
You pretty much get it. It's not a good situation, but it was foreseeable that our marriage would be this way had I just paid attention to the signs when I was dating. I'm going to continue to do the best I can under the circumstances.
This last weekend was awful, just screaming and yelling at any perceived slight. She broke into an anger/panic three separate times over the weekend that ended in tears. The first was because I took my mother fishing for two hours, like I said I was going to do and she agreed was a good idea (the house was messy and it was stressing her out). The second was because I took longer to mow the lawn that what I said it would by about 30 minutes (I never do what I say I'll do), and the last time it was because I was cleaning a different room than what she wanted (I never do what I say). Bear in mind, I'm cleaning, maintaining the house, watching our kid while she spends the majority of the day watching TV and sleeping.
So, I took all this in stride - there's no arguing with someone who is totally out of control of their emotions. It's funny, we never make up, there's no forgiveness or mutual understanding of the problem, she just loses steam, is not longer mad, and then we go on with our lives like it never happened. It almost doesn't matter that she's mad -the smallest things send her into anger/panic, and she snaps out of it fairly quickly (no more than an hour or two), so I just don't engage at all and simply get our daughter and go on a walk when she is super out of control.
To be a good guy, i set up a nice pregnancy massage for Tuesday for her, and told her I did it because she seemed really stressed. That seemed to help a little, she was in a better mood today.
While I can keep my cool during these frequent outbursts, the insane schedule I'm keeping together with dealing with this madness whenever I'm not working is driving me mad. The only thing that helps is booze, and I'm drinking waaaay more than I should - on a daily basis, Wife goes to sleep at 730 every night, daughter is usually down for the count by 830-900, that leaves me 2 or so hours a night for myself, and I find myself just inhaling booze for those few hours.
I'm hoping things will change for the better after the new baby?
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768260&forum_id=2#34479169) |
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Date: October 20th, 2017 11:56 AM Author: Outnumbered flushed striped hyena piazza
Sure. Had a much different persona in public than when dealing with her parents. In fact, she is fairly abusive towards her parents, and in time she dropped her act and treats our daughter and me exactly in that manner.
She loved her dog but never took responsibility for caring for it. Her parents would walk the dog and pick up after it.
She stated that she hated doing housework, although when we were dating and engaged she still did housework. Towards the end of the engagement and into the marriage, she was resentful if she had to do even routine housework. She expected to be picked up after and cared for, and I found out towards the end of our engagement that her parents regularly came to her house unannounced to clean her house, mow her lawn, etc.
The biggest sign was that, despite being very hot, there were zero men in her life. There was not one guy who was calling, no one emailing, no one. I asked friends about this, and most of them said about the same thing: guys couldn't put up with her bullshit.
One thing that sticks in my mind was, one night after we had gotten engaged, we were out with a big group, and I was talking to a girl who was a friend/ acquaintance of hers, and the girl says to me something along the lines of: do you know what you're doing, this girl is seriously crazy, you need to know she's out there. Everyone says things like that, but the way she said it stuck with me.
Those are the signs I remember that I regret now ignoring.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768260&forum_id=2#34486823) |
Date: October 19th, 2017 12:34 AM Author: flirting twinkling uncleanness
Bc getting divorced bc of some existential bullshit "I'm not happy" or "I'm not in love!" Is total flame ... you aren't going to find a better relationship or happiness anywhere else. We just get bored. It's not worth it to ruin a family chasing something that doesn't exist.
This only applies if you have kids.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768260&forum_id=2#34476812) |
Date: October 19th, 2017 8:33 AM Author: charismatic theatre
Divorce is ttt
Its dysfunctional, destroys families, and has contributed to the moral rot/decay of america
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768260&forum_id=2#34477773) |
Date: October 19th, 2017 8:47 AM Author: Swashbuckling very tactful house crotch
There is a time and a place for divorce.
“I fell out of love with my spouse and started having sex with someone else” is not a legit basis when you have kids. That just means you’re selfish and give up easily when the going gets tough.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768260&forum_id=2#34477813) |
Date: October 19th, 2017 9:33 AM Author: floppy plum crackhouse party of the first part
Divorce is really horrible for kids.
I echo the thoughts of most other poasters on this issue. It's one thing if a couple has no kids (even though I think the idea of vows are important), but once a married couple has kids, their job is to work together for the good of the family, and yes that includes dealing with their petty bullshit.
Obviously in cases of abuse or whatever I agree that divorce is the better option.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3768260&forum_id=2#34477975) |
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