180 thing about being a man is that you can wait longer, true.

On one hand, I really don't want a kid. Why? Everything from my own parent's divorce, to potential they end up pwned by something genetic, to the fact America is a failing state and the world seems worse off, to the fact that I can probably not afford to give them the "American dream" (a life better than my own), and their mother and I would likely get divorced because when your parent's divorce you are much more likely to do so, and just generally not being mature enough for it.

I'd focus on hobbies, my job, staying in shape, probably being a 180 uncle, charity work. I'd read a lot.

On the other hand, I think about how lonely it must be at like 50-60. If you're healthy--and you should be hitting the gym with all that extra time and in good shape--you have easily 30-40 years left. Your parents are dead. Your friends are all in families and married off. People scattered around the country. It seems all pretty fucking pointless.

I don't know how to reconcile these things.

I can meet a solid gf, but I'm never in love with them, it's just a union of convenience and tolerance. I feel like if it were some romantic notion of love/marriage in the movies, it might not be so bad. Let's not forget the million things that can happen to her (cancer pwned, death, becoming insane, cheating).

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3794658&forum_id=2#34668972)

the worst choice is to have kids in MFH or whatever - then you are truly financially fucked unless you're making like 700k-1MM a year

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3794658&forum_id=2#34668990)

But they don't just want "one" kid, they want 2-3, they want a bigger house, they want want want.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3794658&forum_id=2#34668988)

that alone is going to fuck you over, esp if she onl ymakes 120k a year pre-tax or whatever

at that point it's not even worth it for her to work

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3794658&forum_id=2#34668998)

regardless, having a kid in cheap as fuck flyover is pretty easy and manageable

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3794658&forum_id=2#34669026)

if you're not a provider it's substantially easier to deal with

and I am convinced this boom-bust model of employment and the economy is the new normal until we die (and beyond)

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3794658&forum_id=2#34669003)

1. My parents divorced and I saw firsthand the dark side of "family" life and the deterioration there of.

2. Loneliness is something you get used to after some time and it just becomes part of you. You learn to embrace it and channel it into other pursuits. It's the same shit that kidhavers do, just not as commonplace. I don't envy the guys who have to go home to a nagging spouse and screaming kids after a long day at work.

3. There is no stability for most people these days. Having kids just so they can struggle to get by in an increasingly stratified world just seems cruel and senseless to me.

4. Philosophically I'm a pessimist, and that pretty much isolates me from the vast majority of mankind. I don't really think life is a "good" thing, and if it is nobody has ever done a satisfactory job of demonstrating so.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3794658&forum_id=2#34669029)

just curious what kind of dude you are to compare to myself

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3794658&forum_id=2#34669048)

You're not alone bro. Just do you and don't let anybody tell you that you're wrong. Be strong and stick to your principles, that's all you can really do in this life.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3794658&forum_id=2#34669056)

If you don't have children, you may be able to live out your years in relative comfort, move around for jobs, travel to new places, etc.

Either way, you'll probably never be happy, but if you don't have kids, you won't know if the source of your unhappiness is failing to reproduce. If you do have kids, you'll be able to pinpoint your general ineffectiveness and shitty decisions as the source of your malaise.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3794658&forum_id=2#34669099)

This doesn't scare me at all but personalities differ to an insane degree when it comes to this subject. There are familymos here would rather die young than face old age alone. I tend to think I have enough extended family and strong enough social bonds with the people I care about that I will never be truly alone. But that's just as much of an assumption as the family havers assuming everything will work out great 25 years down the road.

Essentially, don't have kids if you're only motivator is FOMO but do have them if you're thinking about it but afraid to pull the trigger due to your risk-adversity. Being afraid to have kids because they cost money or take up too much of your useless time is ridiculous autism-spectrum talk. Perpetuate the human race and take part in the timeless joy of raising a family if you even suspect it's what you want.

I get what you're saying about the world looking like shit in 50 years, but every generation has this anxiety. We're bombarded with ridiculous pop culture images of a ruined planet and because we're a nation of egoists, we think the things happening in our moment are the most important events the world has ever known. Things may work out great and ARE country is likely going to be fine. There has never been a better bet than continued American prosperity and global dominance. It's not a guarantee but LOL at worrying about sending children into the union future when you live in the most peaceful, powerful, wealthy, abundant, secure nation that has ever existed.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3794658&forum_id=2#34669189)

As such, I am willing to suffer whatever negative consequences kid-having will have to my finances and lifestyle. There are poor people having tons of kids (I saw a pregnant woman with 6 kids at IKEA today), I'll find a way to make 2-3 kids work on a $170,000 household income.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3794658&forum_id=2#34669195)