RATE this epic "haha" text I got after my first date with a college sophomore
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Poast new message in this thread
Date: January 18th, 2018 8:56 PM Author: Laughsome newt
She's fit as fuck, lifts 4× weekly. Going to be a nice change of pace from my lazy ex gf. I'm in my mid 30s, she's a teenager. :)
"Hi! Just wanted to say thank you, I had a great time! I'm sorry if I was a little weird, I got a bit shy, I'm not usually like this haha"
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3864060&forum_id=2#35185919) |
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Date: January 24th, 2018 6:46 PM Author: Cream Mental Disorder Hospital
*unfolds chair*
*unzips*
You may proceed
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3864060&forum_id=2#35229066) |
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Date: January 19th, 2018 3:22 AM Author: Laughsome newt
Well FRIEND, she is a spicy latina, probably an 8/10, likes soccer and lifting, plans to be a pediatrician. She seems very sweet and earnest with just enough shit talking to still be fun. She's confident and on the aggressive side. I was planning not to text her much and just go for the quick meet but she actually beat me to setting up the date. I can tell she's a good person, she lit up the most when talking about how she wanted to help people by being a doctor. She lectured me about how much money I could save by meal prepping instead of eating out and seems to be pretty grounded/mature, not just for her age but even compared to older chicks. There are various other subtle little things I picked up on that gave me a high opinion of her.
Date had some fun back and forth with a bit of awkwardness mixed in. Ended with us talking in the parking lot outside the restaurant we met at but it was cold as fuck and finished with an awkward kiss on the cheek. She sent the haha text right after. Today we texted some more and set up a date for tomorrow. The initial premise was that we were going out, but later she suggested we pick the food up and watch netflix. I can tell by some things she's said that she's angling for a relationship and I'm cool with that.
I imagine the sex tomorrow night is going to be absolutely mind blowing. For over two years I was with a chick who tried but couldn't get into shape, and at her best I was only sort of into fucking. It basically sapped my T and killed my intensity to stay in peak shape myself. This will be the first new chick I've touched since that, and she's young and fit as fuck, athletic, aggressive. . . Unnngh. I can already feel my T levels going back up, I was so locked in when I lifted today. I just want to get completely shredded again and have wild, screeching sex with this chick for hours every weekend until we're both physically broken.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3864060&forum_id=2#35187735) |
Date: January 19th, 2018 4:17 PM Author: Plum arousing potus
enjoy the creampies.
SA is tremendously fun for a year or two, especially since young girls these days legit have never seen a condom.
But believe it or not, it gets old after a couple of dozen 18-23 yr olds
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3864060&forum_id=2#35191123) |
Date: January 24th, 2018 5:07 PM Author: Laughsome newt
AN UPDATE FOR ALL OF MY FANS AND DETRACTORS: The second date did not go well. When she got to my place she seemed nervous and physically distant, and had to leave after just a few minutes to give her little brother a ride somewhere (or get in trouble). She came back an hour later and I thought she would warm up some, but she sat on the opposite side of the couch with a pillow on her lap. She was high strung and annoyingly sarcastic. Eventually she came over and cuddled a bit when the movie was almost over, and we kissed a couple of times . . . after which she abruptly left. Not exactly how I envisioned it going.
At first I felt like completely dropping her because I only date chicks who just straight up like to fuck (heh) and either she isn't very sexual, or she likes playing games, both of which would be unacceptable to me. She is very sweet and sincere in her texts and showing a lot of interest though, so I'm going to give her one more shot and just tell her what's on my mind. I'm fairly convinced that the issues are nervousness rather than games.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3864060&forum_id=2#35228273) |
Date: January 27th, 2018 5:10 AM Author: Laughsome newt
MASSIVE REVERSAL: Just had a phenomenal third date with her. Wasn't really expecting it to go great because she was texting me earlier in the day about having cramps and a cold, but she got dressed up and came out anyway. Picked her up and discovered that she lives less than a mile away from me. She looked amazing, wore a shirt with a low neckline and a tasteful, understated necklace. Took her to a place that is fairly inexpensive but has nice lighting and ambiance and we had really nice conversation over and after dinner for a couple of hours. The tension was way down and she was a lot more relaxed. At one point she joked about wanting to see a shrink just for the novelty of having someone she could say anything she wanted to and have it stay confidential. I pointed out that as her attorney, I'm the next best thing.
We went back to my place and a bit of the awkwardness and tension returned, but was somewhat broken when she jokingly asked me to analyze her. I playfully grabbed a legal pad and she really opened up. Only dates older guys because guys her own age aren't on the same page, last breakup was because the guy wanted to rush to kids/marriage/housewife. Only wants a relationship, doesn't do flings, wants to know what my intentions are. Pointedly states that she's hot and has to be careful about guys using her.
I was able to open up to her as well, about my last relationship and how much it hurts when I think about it. She held my hand and gently stroked it while I talked, and told me I could think about her instead. She understood why sexual chemistry is the most important thing to me right now, and why I was concerned about her not being very physical. I told her that the timing was rough for a relationship, but that I really liked her. We essentially agreed do do our best for each other--she's going to make it a priority to go all out on sex and fuck the pain and regret out of me, and I'm going to try to be a good boyfriend.
Unfortunately we could not actually have sex because she is on her period (not a big surprise), but she bragged about her prowess and how good she would make it for me when she's done. Still one of my favorite dates ever, probably actually the best that did not involve sex. I may be feeling the very beginning of falling in love. She was very sweet and I'm basically defenseless against that.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3864060&forum_id=2#35251181)
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Date: January 28th, 2018 4:41 AM Author: Laughsome newt
CLOSED: I was on such a high last night that it took me forever to fall asleep. Finally nodded off watching an episode of the new "Gamers!" anime. Woke up too early today feeling like shit, and tried to reverse it by napping off and on until 4pm. I figured I had a < 5% chance of getting laid today, so I jerked off a couple of times to the clip she texted me, then trolled XOXO for a while and made some crypto trades.
She texts and asks if I want to do something tonight. I tell her I don't want to do anything because I'm going to be half dead from working out, but that it would be nice to see her. She endears herself to me by suggesting a gaming night even though she's not into video games. I down some ErgoPre preworkout going completely all-in on the idea of not fucking her tonight. I usually have a hard time getting (let alone keeping) an erection after I lift heavy lower body, and stims make that even worse. I murder my workout today . . . actually I've murdered every workout since I've met her. Light bench, light deadlift, moderate incline press, heavy squat, heavy standing OHP, heavy curls, heavy lat pulls. I lift for two hours solid and my body is fucking wrekt.
I shower and pull the Wii U out of storage so I can teach her noob ass to play Mario 3D World and go pick her up. She's actually not completely incompetent, has a few skills picked up from having brothers. Eventually she says "I need to ask you a question," somewhat melodramatically. I tell her to go for it (having no idea what the fuck it could be because I told her so much shit last night). She actually just wants to know in detail what I like for kissing, and says she likes a lot of tongue and biting and is worried I won't be into it. I tell her that's exactly what I need, and got out of the habit because my ex only liked gentle kisses. She then runs through every kissing technique in her arsenal, whispering what she's going to do into my ear and telling me why I'm going to like it. Of course I am DIAMOND Dallas HARD at this point. I tell her that she got her period at the absolute worst time possible, but that I'm such a terrible person that I still want to take her into the other room and fuck her. Surprisingly she is open to the idea even though she's never tried it before . . .
[TO BE CONTINUED]
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3864060&forum_id=2#35258769) |
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Date: January 31st, 2018 7:18 PM Author: rose zippy sex offender
This thread was seriously shitty up until this single post.
Seriously, pre-fuck threads are worthless unless there is some compelling reason to make one.
No one gives a fuck about no pussy. The only thing that matters is getting your cock inside her and when you do, then you can include details of the buildup. Retarded to do the opposite.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3864060&forum_id=2#35290857) |
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Date: February 2nd, 2018 4:13 AM Author: Laughsome newt
After sneaking out of work for a second consecutive midday fuck sesh, I feel the need to provide a supplemental pussy review. I still stand by the majority of the original review, but our first fuck sesh was a bit rushed and I was not diligent enough in my investigation to do it justice. Make no mistake: of the 10-15 genetic women I've slept with, she undisputedly has the best all round pussy. She is also my favorite sex partner, although that is beyond the scope of this post.
-Taste/odor/hygiene: 10/10. Simply put, this is the cleanest pussy I have ever indulged in. Almost completely odorless and tasteless, and to the minimal extent that it isn't, what's there is intoxicatingly pleasant. Not a hint of discharge or residue.
-Texture/viscosity: 10/10. As a continuation of the above, she has the smoothest, most perfectly consistent fluids I have ever felt. Never sticky, never gooey, never congeals into strings, never thickens. . . just wonderfully smooth wetness without being watery. Even better, she gets this way very, very easily. I have never seen a girl have such intense, unfaked reactions to being fingered. Slip a finger inside and she gasps, her whole body writhes, she grinds against it, she bites down on my shoulder, gets absolutely soaked . . . it's the hottest thing I've ever seen. Like its fluids, the vagina's texture is also very smooth. I might even be tempted to say too smooth, but anything it lacks in stimulating texture is made up for by the fact that it really, really swells up and does an amazing job of molding to my cock and keeping full contact over the entire surface with no air gaps at all times.
Tightness: 9/10. Pleasant, but due to the smoothness and wetness, I do wish she was a bit tighter at default grip. In fact, rating just on that, I might even dip this to an 8. However, today I asked her to squeeze me while I was buried to the absolute hilt in missionary, and I learned that she can clamp down like a fucking vice and literally jerk my cock off with her vagina as if it was a hand. Most chicks can create some pleasant pressure if you ask them to squeeze, but this is "eyes roll back" good.
Aesthetics: 8/10. It's a nice coin slot pussy, shaved (although slightly growing back), but it doesn't have any unique visual appeal that would justify an elite rating. Not that there's anything wrong with that, I'm just trying to be objective in my assessment. At the end of the day, it's a good vagina to look at but a fantastic one to touch.
Overall rating (not an average) - 180/10.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3864060&forum_id=2#35302766) |
Date: February 1st, 2018 12:48 AM Author: Laughsome newt
Fine. All of you philistines can't live without your bread and circuses? Go ahead:
[Removed]
Not going to leave this up for long
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3864060&forum_id=2#35293611) |
Date: February 10th, 2018 12:54 AM Author: Laughsome newt
She's basically just using me for sex now, NOT FLAME. She texts me in the middle of the day between her classes, I sneak away from work and meet her at my house to pound her out a few times, and we go on about our business.
She wasn't very talkative at all this week, usually texts me good morning and good night every day but had gone silent for a couple of days, and before that our schedules hadn't lined up to meet so we hadn't fucked since last weekend. Tonight at around 9 she called and told me I needed to get home right away. As soon as she walked in she started taking her pants off. After we finished it came out that she had just watched the new 50 shades movie. She was hungry and wanted to go get something to eat but legit didn't seem to care if I went or not so I just stayed home to POAST and play video games.
Basically by 11 tonight I had already smashed 3x and was already freed up to do whatever I want. This is 180. It was a bit annoying to get to the point of fucking her, but since then this has been the best ratio of effort vs. sex I've ever experienced.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3864060&forum_id=2#35368219) |
Date: February 11th, 2018 1:31 AM Author: Laughsome newt
JFC, she's literally just using me for my cock. Actual text exchange from approximately 2 hours ago.
her: "are u home?"
me: "yep"
her: "leave the door open"
*5 minutes later walks in and starts undressing*
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3864060&forum_id=2#35375069) |
Date: August 12th, 2018 12:58 PM Author: Laughsome newt
So my hawt teen had sort of faded out of the picture for a while. One day she texted me to get pounded out but I couldn't because I had only slept a few hours the night before and was crunching on a major deadline and she started texting me a lot less after that.
Then Friday I get this:
"How about I just saw you walk into smoothie king a while ago
You look great haha I'm proud of you"
Immediately I texted Monkey's Paw chick an excuse why I couldn't see her this weekend but she said she was already on her way over. Saturday night, sure enough, around 10pm I get:
"Are you busy?"
Which is her code for can I walk straight through your front door, undress, and slide my perfect teenage pussy onto your cock. I was playing Mario 3D World with mrs Monkey's Paw. :(
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3864060&forum_id=2#36603595) |
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Date: July 19th, 2020 6:25 PM Author: Laughsome newt
Nothing else really came of it.
One random Friday night months later, she texted me out of the blue to come pick her up (which based on prior course of dealings, meant pound her a few times and watch a movie or drop her off someplace out with her friends). I spent 30 min wrapping up some work and then was about to go get her when she cancelled, citing some random family emergency that had just come up.
Never bothered with it after that, had new slampieces. A major factor in no further attempts was that I saw her on tinder a while later (actually matched with her) and her looks had declined. She probably put on 10-15 lbs. Really short shelf life on this one. She was a solid 9 in pics probably 1-2 years before I met her, probably 8 when I was fucking her, precipitously dropped to a 6 thereafter.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3864060&forum_id=2#40632147) |
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Date: July 20th, 2020 2:38 PM Author: Laughsome newt
The deeper analysis doesn't really matter to me given the basic facts.
I ended a 2+ year relationship with a chick who was not fit and who I did not enjoy fucking. I was still very depressed about it. However, within like a week I was balls deep in a 19 y/o with a fit body and cute face. Her pussy was tight and she let me slip it in raw. I probably had 7-10 fuck sessions with her, nutting 2-4 times each. I spent maybe $80 total for dinner one night and takeout another.
This was an absolutely perfect rebound fling that cut at my exact point of dissatisfaction with my prior relationship. Obviously it's doubtful that this chick was some innocent little angel, but every aspect of the whole thing was incredibly 180.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3864060&forum_id=2#40635403) |
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