OK so there's this island off the coast of New Zealand. Authorities thought it would make a nice place for endangered birds to nest, so they made a bunch of concrete birds and put them on the island. They thought real birds would show up and start living there.

Except only one bird showed up. Nigel. He mistook the concrete birds for real ones and spent nearly a decade trying to mate with the fake concrete birds, building nests for them, bringing them seaweeds as gifts, etc.

Now he is dead.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3879736&forum_id=2#35303256)

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/content/dam/news/2018/02/02/TELEMMGLPICT000153060409_trans_NvBQzQNjv4BqNJjoeBT78QIaYdkJdEY4CnGTJFJS74MYhNY6w3GNbO8.jpeg?imwidth=1400

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3879736&forum_id=2#35303260)

New Zealand conservationists mourn loss of celebrated bird that was lured by replica gannets in the hope of establishing a breeding colony

If there is such a thing as a tragic life for a bird, then the life of Nigel “no mates”, a New Zealand gannet, probably fits that bill.

Nigel lived for years on his own on uninhabited Mana Island off the north of the country, surrounded by concrete replica gannets.

The immobile replicas had been put in place by conservation officers who used the sound of gannet calls broadcast by solar-powered speakers in an attempt to lure a colony to settle on the pest-free scientific reserve.

Nigel was the first gannet in 40 years to make his home on Mana, arriving alone in 2013.

There he remained, alone. That is until just a few weeks ago when he was finally joined by three real life members of his species. However, Nigel failed to befriend them, and then he died.

Department of Conservation ranger Chris Bell found Nigel’s body surrounded by his concrete friends.

“Nigel was very faithful to the colony,” said Bell, who also lives and works alone on the island,

“I think it must have been quite a frustrating existence. Whether or not he was lonely, he certainly never got anything back, and that must have been very strange experience, when he spent years courting. I think we all have a lot of empathy for him, because he had this fairly hopeless situation.”

Bell said after Nigel arrived on Mana five years ago he began courting one of the 80 concrete decoys which had been positioned on the eastern cliffs, with painted yellow beaks and black tipped wings.

The gannet was observed carefully constructing a nest for his chosen mate, grooming her chilly, concrete feathers, and chatting to her - one-sided - year after year after year.

Nigel died weeks after three real-life gannets had settled on the island, with conservation staff hoping Nigel may have bonded with the flesh and blood creatures.

But he never showed any interest in the real-life birds, said Bell, instead remaining “aloof”, chattering to his concrete mate while the real-life birds got on with business in a different part of the colony.

“From a conservation point of view, he was a massive asset to have. Because the concrete gannets – they may have fooled Nigel – but they never fooled another gannet. We always considered Nigel increased our chances of getting a colony going, and that seems to be in the end what happened,” said Bell.

“He was an attraction that helped bring in other birds – gannets like to nest where a gannet has nested before. It’s really sad he died, but it wasn’t for nothing.”

Friends of Mana, a volunteer group which works on the island, said they were “devastated” by Nigel’s death.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3879736&forum_id=2#35305331)

Now he is dead.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3879736&forum_id=2#35305418)

"when will i see you again?"

"i dunno maybe 10 more times haha" *flies away*

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3879736&forum_id=2#35305454)

Here he is hanging with his bro this year

https://imgur.com/a/S41UH

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3879736&forum_id=2#35310917)

Except only one lawyer showed up. Whokebe. He mistook the board lawyers for real ones and spent nearly a decade trying to post with the fake lawyers, creating topics for them, bringing them legal analysis, etc.

Now he is dead.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3879736&forum_id=2#35310955)

*continues poasting with my 'bros' on xo*

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3879736&forum_id=2#35312244)

Nicole Serratore

‏Verified account @MildlyBitter

Nicole Serratore Retweeted Matt Novak

This might be harsh since Nigel is now dead, but...

Even concrete birds do not owe you affection, Nigel. Stop wooing a bird who is not interested.

More thoughts on rape culture expressed by this article about a gannet. https://www.facebook.com/NMSerratore/posts/10155513608804611 …

there's a whole twitter thread here including a facebook link to a rant that i can't read because i'm not on facebook

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3879736&forum_id=2#35326093)

LMFAO.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3879736&forum_id=2#35333028)

https://www.google.com/search?q=Nicole+Serratore&source=lnms&tbm=isch&

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3879736&forum_id=2#35333061)

Concrete bird: ....

Nigel: Continuing a course of action without regard to discouragement, opposition or previous failure, over.

*dies childless*

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3879736&forum_id=2#35335915)

We only want what's best for him

We're only making plans for Nigel

Nigel just needs this helping hand

And if young Nigel says he's happy

He must be happy

He must be happy in his work

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AiIlcew-GVM

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3879736&forum_id=2#35335988)