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Guys I was a lot better than made partner this year at my v5
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Date: February 9th, 2018 11:02 PM Author: arrogant smoky legend Talk me off the ledge brothers. I quit biglaw and left Manhattan after 8-9 years for my wife's large southern city. Our destination was neither Atlanta nor Charlotte, where law is practiced on a NYC pace. It's slow here, and we have all of my wife's family here.
After I left MFH, one partner in my former group unexpectedly died. Another quit in his 50s last year. These guys were promoted to fill their positions: a counsel and a 12th year senior associate. Both of the new partners started with me in our first year around 2006. When I quit as an 8th year we were the last three from our class and the class above or below us in our practice group.
At the time, we thought our move made sense. My wife is an obstetrician and went from 175K in MFH to $480K in chill southern town. I went from $400K to $250K. I'm now a non-equity partner at an AMLAW 100-150 firm after a few years as counsel. I could make $375K-600k if I tried to market more, but I just don't like to do business development. I prefer to just make what they pay me to write motions and do deps.
Please convince me I didn't make the wrong move leaving MFH, other than letting wife make more than me. I was told by 3 separate partners that the position in the V5 was mine as soon as an old guy retired. I was uniformly thought to be better than the person they filled his seat with.
OTOH, I now work maybe 4 hard hours per day. I'm rarely in the office more than 6-8 hours. I worked maybe 3 today. I'm a member of the old money country club in the area per my wife's parents, and often stop by after work to have a Cohiba and a cocktail before heading home, though the clientele there is generally 10+ years older than I am. I play 9 or 18 3x a week. I don't have a 180 set of friends, because my networks are in MFH and on the west coast where I grew up and went to school, but I've made a decent group of 170 friends.
Tell me I didn't make the wrong turn, bros. Tell me if I stayed in MFH, even if I got the breakfast, I would have preferred where I actually ended up.
Thank |
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Date: February 9th, 2018 11:06 PM Author: hilarious aromatic genital piercing messiness if they were your year in school that means that you had also been at your v5 firm for 12+ years?
surely the partners had some discussions with you about your prospects at the firm by the time you left. what did they say about your chances to go up for partner or what you needed to do in order to make it happen? |
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Date: February 9th, 2018 11:08 PM Author: arrogant smoky legend "I left in 2015"
I was told one guy's seat was mine. He retired, unexpectedly 15 years before people thought he would. |
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Date: February 10th, 2018 1:23 AM Author: hilarious aromatic genital piercing messiness well xo posters (living in big cities) routinely extol the virtues of just doing chill small metro suburb area.
not to rain on your parade but for me i'd much rather be partner at v5. even at fairly unprestigious Skadden avg PPP is at least $2.5-3mm and personally i'd much rather live in MFH than flyover country, esp once you start making partner level money. AFAIK none of the v5 have multitier partnership bands, so even if it takes a few years to see your draw go up you're not gonna get tossed in a second tier cuck partnership so that the 10 total equity equity partners can exploit you like jew slaveowners ala Cadwalader. |
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Date: February 10th, 2018 9:03 AM Author: Passionate casino PPP is 3M but it’s a big mix between rainmakers making $5-6 and service partners making $800k - $1 M. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3888540&forum_id=2#35368924) |
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Date: February 10th, 2018 10:13 AM Author: electric orchid antidepressant drug Jfc dude, what do you want? How can you be so far along in life w such a shitty life philosophy. Your life sounds 180. Cut the shit. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3888540&forum_id=2#35369098) |
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Date: February 10th, 2018 10:27 AM Author: Deranged Toilet Seat Roommate (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3888540&forum_id=2#35369131) |
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Date: February 10th, 2018 12:05 PM Author: Buff excitant people who are hurt The shitty life philosophy is why he is so far along with life, unfortunately. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3888540&forum_id=2#35369521) |
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Date: February 10th, 2018 2:36 PM Author: electric orchid antidepressant drug Ugh. Yeah. Guess so. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3888540&forum_id=2#35370417) |
Date: February 9th, 2018 11:06 PM Author: flatulent pearl therapy death wish you chose to do everything you were going to (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3888540&forum_id=2#35367623) |
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Date: February 9th, 2018 11:14 PM Author: arrogant smoky legend Felt smarter when I thought none of us would actually make it.
In retrospect, given the two openings, I would have had one if I stayed. |
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Date: February 9th, 2018 11:19 PM Author: flatulent pearl therapy death wish if u left because you didnt think ud maek it then u didnt want to maek it man (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3888540&forum_id=2#35367704) |
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Date: February 9th, 2018 11:22 PM Author: arrogant smoky legend I was pretty sure I'd make it. I thought I'd have to go 12 years as an associate then hang out as counsel for 4 to maek it, which didn't seem worth it.
The random death and the random early 50's retirement shuffled timelines. |
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Date: February 9th, 2018 11:48 PM Author: comical fuchsia gas station lettuce What year are you? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3888540&forum_id=2#35367875) |
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Date: February 10th, 2018 12:08 AM Author: arrogant smoky legend 06 (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3888540&forum_id=2#35367968) |
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Date: February 9th, 2018 11:08 PM Author: Duck-like Lodge hey man your life sounds awesome (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3888540&forum_id=2#35367639) |
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Date: February 9th, 2018 11:11 PM Author: arrogant smoky legend Thank
That's what I needed. |
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Date: February 9th, 2018 11:56 PM Author: trip black ticket booth (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3888540&forum_id=2#35367913) |
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Date: February 9th, 2018 11:42 PM Author: cordovan market GO SOLO.
Screw your courage to the sticking, and you'll not fail! |
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Date: February 9th, 2018 11:44 PM Author: frum bespoke field alpha Solo is hard work and it sounds like he doesn’t have I work hard. He also doesn’t neee the money. This guy has made it. Get really good at golf and focus on competing in mid - ams. Also get in good shape and take a mistress. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3888540&forum_id=2#35367854) |
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Date: February 9th, 2018 11:55 PM Author: arrogant smoky legend Have a hard time breaking single digit handicap.
Also I luv my wife, and would not like to take mistress. Would risk lives of kidmos. |
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Date: February 10th, 2018 12:49 PM Author: narrow-minded chapel flame, women can't resist a guy who has such low respect for her that he cheats on her (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3888540&forum_id=2#35369743) |
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Date: February 10th, 2018 11:33 AM Author: arrogant smoky legend I have no advantage in the solo market. It's dominated by local families that have done their piece of shitlaw for 3 generations or more. I'd make nothing.
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Date: February 9th, 2018 11:45 PM Author: Lascivious Bossy Liquid Oxygen Mexican enjoy your life dude, it sounds like you maed it (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3888540&forum_id=2#35367862) |
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Date: February 9th, 2018 11:53 PM Author: razzmatazz school cafeteria tioctcr
Other than your wife making more than you, which I'm sure must be totally emasculating , your life is objectively better than it ever could have been in MFH.
The next time you think about crying about how bad you have it working 20hrs/wk for $250k, think back to how much it hurt that first time your wife wore the big daddy strapon. That wouldve been your life every day. |
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Date: February 10th, 2018 12:09 AM Author: arrogant smoky legend It's fine, I guess. I think she vaguely knows she makes more than me in real terms, but since my draw comes without taxes taken out, it hits our bank account almost as heavy as hers. Not sure she realizes how much she's got me beat by. 100% sure she's not realized all those checks I write to IRS are just on my half. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3888540&forum_id=2#35367972) |
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Date: February 10th, 2018 9:46 AM Author: Frisky Stage Friendly Grandma She loves you and is letting you think that. She 100% knows.
Stop dwelling on what could have been. You maed it. |
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Date: February 10th, 2018 11:45 AM Author: arrogant smoky legend You're probably right, but she's not a money person.
I sweep our checking account into a brokerage every few months. I have tried to get her a password so she could see it. She has no interest. |
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Date: February 9th, 2018 11:51 PM Author: Ultramarine Center so some guys who are worse than you also have a worse life than you? what an awful fate you've met. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3888540&forum_id=2#35367885) |
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Date: February 9th, 2018 11:59 PM Author: arrogant smoky legend But could buy and sell me.
Maybe not, but they could buy and sell me without my wife's income. |
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Date: February 10th, 2018 12:00 AM Author: Ultramarine Center bad news for them: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thirteenth_Amendment_to_the_United_States_Constitution (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3888540&forum_id=2#35367927) |
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Date: February 10th, 2018 12:10 AM Author: arrogant smoky legend Would be an interesting wall hanging as a biglaw associate. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3888540&forum_id=2#35367977) |
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Date: February 10th, 2018 10:12 AM Author: provocative kitty cat regret underrated (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3888540&forum_id=2#35369095) |
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Date: February 10th, 2018 12:27 AM Author: Ultramarine Center more seriously, if you believe life is about how much money you make, then leaving V5 was a terrible decision on your part.
also: there's literally millions of people who can buy and sell your v5 partner friends |
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Date: February 10th, 2018 12:37 AM Author: arrogant smoky legend it's how people keep score. Wouldn't be depressing otherwise. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3888540&forum_id=2#35368129) |
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Date: February 10th, 2018 12:37 AM Author: Ultramarine Center opt out of the game (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3888540&forum_id=2#35368131) |
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Date: February 10th, 2018 12:45 AM Author: cordovan market (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3888540&forum_id=2#35368178) |
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Date: February 10th, 2018 12:20 PM Author: Claret Meetinghouse Juggernaut THIS. The game sucks even when you are "winning" so not sure why even play it. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3888540&forum_id=2#35369611) |
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Date: February 9th, 2018 11:51 PM Author: ruddy costumed dilemma halford so you maed it through biglaw without your wife leaving you, moved to a chill t2 city, and your household income is in the high six figures, and you're asking xo poasters whether youre a failure? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3888540&forum_id=2#35367887) |
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Date: February 10th, 2018 12:32 AM Author: arrogant smoky legend TY (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3888540&forum_id=2#35368113) |
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Date: February 9th, 2018 11:53 PM Author: lake know-it-all trust fund lol (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3888540&forum_id=2#35367895) |
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Date: February 9th, 2018 11:54 PM Author: filthy wonderful chad associate When you are on your deathbed, and that may come sooner than you think, will you be saying: "If only I would've stayed in MFH and made V5 partner, everything would have been different!"
If so, consider killing yourself now.
If not, stop worrying about some faggots in that trash dump of a city you chose to leave, and focus on enjoying the life you have, which is objectively 10x better than that of a soulless v5 partner that no one will remember or care about. |
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Date: February 9th, 2018 11:56 PM Author: Ultramarine Center also those dudes making 3-6x what he is (in a much more expensive city with much more stress and work) are probably depressed because some banker makes more than they do
if you're going to live a life full of envy, there's no happiness because there is always somebody else to envy |
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Date: February 10th, 2018 12:01 AM Author: sadistic idea he suggested jfc 700K in even Atlanta is A LOT (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3888540&forum_id=2#35367939) |
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Date: February 10th, 2018 12:26 AM Author: arrogant smoky legend Smaller than ATL (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3888540&forum_id=2#35368088) |
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Date: February 10th, 2018 12:11 AM Author: irradiated sapphire reading party jesus christ this is my dream (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3888540&forum_id=2#35367989) |
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Date: February 10th, 2018 12:26 AM Author: arrogant smoky legend TY that MAENS a lot (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3888540&forum_id=2#35368086) |
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Date: February 10th, 2018 12:43 AM Author: Tan sanctuary Your way of looking at life is fucked up and you should change it. "Oh I'm 'better' than this guy, but he makes more. But, oh my wife makes X, so am I OK guys????!"
Just focus on your own life and don't obsess over comparing yourself to others. Someone will always make more than you, regardless of what you end up doing.
Do you WANT more money? Nothing wrong with that. But if so, fucking get out there and fucking get business. If you don't, that's fine, but don't spend your life worry about someone else having something you don't need or want.
Edit: PS no one is impressed by "V5" and you don't need to be the "best" to be partner at a law firm; it's largely moving commas. |
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Date: February 10th, 2018 12:49 AM Author: arrogant smoky legend TITCR. Best response in thread. One I know to be true, even if I can't make myself believe it -- or at least act on it -- deep down.
Just sad seeing the road not traveled. It's mostly about money I don't need.
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Date: February 10th, 2018 10:10 AM Author: provocative kitty cat regret (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3888540&forum_id=2#35369088) |
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Date: February 10th, 2018 12:51 AM Author: Pink location turdskin The only people I envy are those like RSF with shit loads of money for doing nothing....not wagecucks
Why you would ever envy someone who makes money to work their ass off perplexes me. Wagecucks are not enviable. |
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Date: February 10th, 2018 12:57 AM Author: Razzle mad-dog skullcap I smell duck sauce (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3888540&forum_id=2#35368230) |
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Date: February 10th, 2018 12:58 AM Author: arrogant smoky legend (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3888540&forum_id=2#35368233) |
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Date: February 10th, 2018 1:32 AM Author: Amethyst cruise ship circlehead You don’t need to be taken off the ledge. You need to kill yourself: 1. for actually having these thoughts. And 2. for actually sharing them on xo (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3888540&forum_id=2#35368406) |
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Date: February 10th, 2018 1:46 AM Author: Brindle stage OP appears to have it made
But I think there's just some inherent dissatisfaction in being heavily outearned by your wife. I mean it's stupid to think about but it's one of those niggling little things that is preventing OPs full-fledged contentment. |
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Date: February 10th, 2018 8:48 AM Author: maroon up-to-no-good point That's a big part of it. But at the same time, his spirit seems broken by the experience in NY. Otherwise a guy like him would be aggressively trying to hustle for business, and would potentially outearn his wife. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3888540&forum_id=2#35368895) |
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Date: February 10th, 2018 9:04 AM Author: Passionate casino Had you stayed in MFH, your kids would have grown up in a small 3br apartment while you worked 12 hours a day and would have been raised by a nanny. They also would be the poorest kids in their school. In a small city in the South, they will be the richest kids in their class. You are a retard for regretting anything. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3888540&forum_id=2#35368928) |
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Date: February 10th, 2018 10:14 AM Author: provocative kitty cat regret Both recipes for awful children. Option A, they hate you and don't know you. Option B, they are shiftless and bad people. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3888540&forum_id=2#35369100) |
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Date: February 10th, 2018 9:06 AM Author: cerebral house He could've been promoted ahead of you if you stayed anyway, fool, GC laughs at your "betterness." (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3888540&forum_id=2#35368930) |
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Date: February 10th, 2018 9:55 AM Author: exciting brunch mediation On the off chance that this isn't some kind of reverse flame, you should be embarrassed for making this post. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3888540&forum_id=2#35369041) |
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Date: February 10th, 2018 10:10 AM Author: hot disturbing hall water buffalo (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3888540&forum_id=2#35369087) |
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Date: February 10th, 2018 11:37 AM Author: arrogant smoky legend I forgot to say not flame.
Not flame. |
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Date: February 10th, 2018 5:35 PM Author: razzle-dazzle voyeur trailer park (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3888540&forum_id=2#35371600) |
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Date: February 10th, 2018 10:08 AM Author: maroon up-to-no-good point Keep in mind, the partners might have been promising"your" slot to multiple associates at the same time. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3888540&forum_id=2#35369079) |
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Date: February 10th, 2018 10:10 AM Author: hot disturbing hall water buffalo (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3888540&forum_id=2#35369085) |
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Date: February 10th, 2018 10:11 AM Author: provocative kitty cat regret Do you have kids? Find meaning in your life ASAP. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3888540&forum_id=2#35369092) |
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Date: February 10th, 2018 11:36 AM Author: arrogant smoky legend three kids all under six (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3888540&forum_id=2#35369370) |
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Date: February 10th, 2018 12:23 PM Author: provocative kitty cat regret Be the best dad in the world. You make way more money than you need, you can allow your kids to fully develop all their dreams.
Look at this distinguished lawyer: http://www.duplass.com/portfolio-item/lawrence-j-duplass/
His kids are the Duplass brothers and he never once encouraged them to give up there dreams, in fact he helped finance their early filmmaking efforts. His only requirement to them was they they totally commit to their craft.
They're now two of the most important people in Hollywood with TV projects dominating and super hot wives. Do you think this regional lawyer feels like he hasn't had a fulfilling and complete life? |
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Date: February 10th, 2018 5:41 PM Author: Milky stirring shrine (Duplass brother) (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3888540&forum_id=2#35371629) |
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Date: February 10th, 2018 10:20 AM Author: hot disturbing hall water buffalo Good example of why lawyers can be so miserable to be around.
The response of a guy with a great career and high income who works a few hours a day and refuses to bring in business to the success of a former colleague who bills every waking hour is resentment and despondency.
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Date: February 10th, 2018 10:20 AM Author: exciting brunch mediation sad! (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3888540&forum_id=2#35369121) |
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Date: February 10th, 2018 10:22 AM Author: hot disturbing hall water buffalo He needs a talk off the ledge, but deserves a push. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3888540&forum_id=2#35369123) |
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Date: February 10th, 2018 11:32 AM Author: arrogant smoky legend Harsh (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3888540&forum_id=2#35369341) |
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Date: February 10th, 2018 11:33 AM Author: violent medicated doctorate stead (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3888540&forum_id=2#35369351) |
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Date: February 10th, 2018 5:36 PM Author: razzle-dazzle voyeur trailer park (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3888540&forum_id=2#35371604) |
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Date: February 10th, 2018 11:37 AM Author: Free-loading Thirsty University Rigpig Current sitch sounds 1000x better to me (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3888540&forum_id=2#35369375) |
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Date: February 10th, 2018 11:48 AM Author: ungodly new version I know this is not flame because you write like dog shit. Just like the partners I work for. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3888540&forum_id=2#35369414) |
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Date: February 10th, 2018 12:00 PM Author: arrogant smoky legend Edited first 3 paragraphs, per your hand markup!
Thank! |
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Date: February 10th, 2018 11:56 AM Author: Claret Meetinghouse Juggernaut I also graduated in 2006 and I retired last year and make no income. Feels way better than pining for millions in biglaw. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3888540&forum_id=2#35369455) |
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Date: February 10th, 2018 12:01 PM Author: Free-loading Thirsty University Rigpig This guy gets it (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3888540&forum_id=2#35369493) |
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Date: February 10th, 2018 12:03 PM Author: arrogant smoky legend How much saved?
Wife and kids? |
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Date: February 10th, 2018 12:18 PM Author: Claret Meetinghouse Juggernaut Several million (but less than 5 when I retired).
4 kids and growing. |
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Date: February 10th, 2018 5:36 PM Author: arrogant smoky legend Well I don't have $5M (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3888540&forum_id=2#35371607) |
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Date: February 10th, 2018 5:42 PM Author: Pink location turdskin jeez - did you make all of it in biglaw + investments? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3888540&forum_id=2#35371638) |
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Date: February 10th, 2018 1:49 PM Author: cyan organic girlfriend When you left you decided it wasn't about money. Don't make it about money now. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3888540&forum_id=2#35370143) |
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Date: February 10th, 2018 5:29 PM Author: arrogant smoky legend (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3888540&forum_id=2#35371566) |
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Date: February 10th, 2018 1:56 PM Author: disrespectful multi-colored hairy legs indian lodge jfc kill yourself (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3888540&forum_id=2#35370195) |
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Date: February 10th, 2018 5:32 PM Author: arrogant smoky legend Why? I had pangs of jealousy for a moment. That never happen to you? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3888540&forum_id=2#35371581) |
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Date: February 10th, 2018 6:28 PM Author: awkward stag film police squad Sounds 180 unless you’re Jewish. You sound Jewish. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3888540&forum_id=2#35371924) |
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Date: February 10th, 2018 6:37 PM Author: Citrine Mind-boggling Set Place Of Business So in sum, you make good coin and live an idyllic life AND have the choice to make more if you really want -- a choice you've expressly declined -- and you think you might've erred by turning down a shot at making more money and being worked to the bone? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3888540&forum_id=2#35371988) |
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Date: February 10th, 2018 10:20 PM Author: Bronze pit If you actually thought you made a poor decision then you wouldn't be trying to shard to sell XO on how great your life is. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3888540&forum_id=2#35373832) |