CharlesXII here, rating posters as PROLE TELLS in complex tabletop wargames
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Date: February 26th, 2018 11:21 PM Author: sapphire sex offender prole
I rate you as not checking your supply lines in Paths of Glory.
For fuck's sake, Paths of Glory has some of the most strict supply rules in existence. If your forces get cut off, they can't attack, can't move, and automatically DIE at turn's end. If they're army-sized units, they die FOREVER. Losing even one or two armies in this way is sufficient to lose the game, quite often.
The thing is, though, it's really easy to get your supply cut off; movement is Igo-Ugo and corps can move PRETTY FAR. So bitch, you'd better be PAYING ATTENTION and making sure those German corps aren't about to cut off the ENTIRE French army just because you forgot to garrison Sedan.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3905098&forum_id=2#35495864) |
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Date: February 26th, 2018 11:30 PM Author: sapphire sex offender prole
I rate you as playing De-Stalinization for ops as the Americans in Twilight Struggle.
Hey, idiot, have you ever even played this game before? De-Stalinization is the best Soviet event in the game. Playing it for ops as the US is fucking INSANE because it will let the Soviets trigger the event.
I know what you're thinking: "How is it the best Soviet event? It doesn't even give them new influence; it just lets them move existing influence elsewhere." IDIOT. The entire strategic situation of Twilight Struggle is that the Soviets start centered around the USSR and struggle to export influence to far-flung regions like Africa and South America. De-Stalinization eliminates that difficulty and lets them easily seed influence in places like Chile, Mexico, or South Africa. And you're just gonna give that to the Soviets as a freebie? Absurd. That shit is going to the SPACE RACE track, bub.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3905098&forum_id=2#35495913) |
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Date: February 26th, 2018 11:41 PM Author: sapphire sex offender prole
I rate you as not leaving garrisons in key cities in A Victory Lost.
C'mon, you prole shithead. A Victory Lost only has like 8 pages of rules. That's not many! Surely you noticed how abusable the railway rules are for the Soviets. When they get reinforcements, they can simply send them forward along the rail lines until they'd be blocked by an Axic Zone of Control. Any non-prole would realize the implications of this: As the Axis forces get utterly chewed up by Operation Saturn, they're gonna have GAPING holes in their lines, and the Soviets can conceivably rail their formations DEEP behind enemy lines. Of course, the game elegantly anticipates this; if the Soviets rail behind enemy lines, those units will be well out of HQ activation range and won't be able to move, retreat, or do anything else except die. So the Soviets won't do this...UNLESS you're a fucking PROLE who left the Victory Point cities ungarrisoned. If you did, the Soviets can just teleport men into them and win an autovictory! IDIOT.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3905098&forum_id=2#35495983) |
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Date: February 26th, 2018 11:46 PM Author: sapphire sex offender prole
I rate you as playing Great Campaigns of the American Civil War and NOT clipping your counters.
These games are fucking stacking monstrosities where individual units often have like 4-5 status markers piled on top of them in some horrifying abortion of strategic depth. With all those counters on the board, you're gonna need to maximize the ease with which you can pick up and fiddle around with the counters. And that means clipping the corners of the counters before you play. Here's an explainer:
https://boardgamegeek.com/geeklist/37769/how-clip-your-counters
BTW most games in the GCACW series have, like, 700 counters. Get clipping.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3905098&forum_id=2#35496018) |
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Date: February 27th, 2018 12:10 AM Author: sapphire sex offender prole
I rate you as trying to use the Armada to attack England in Virgin Queen.
Yeah, yeah, you want to reenact history. Okay, well, you want to win, too, right? And you know the Armada FAILED in real life, right? You know that England has fucking RACE-BUILT Galleons and they will utterly fuck up your Armada without breaking a sweat? And even if you do land in England, wtf are you gonna do? Capturing keys is a huge pain, and any half-decent English player knows he needs to have Walsingham as his home card to guard against a Catholic rebellion.
Nope, nope, nope. HUGE prole tell. Instead, have your armada go and FUCK UP the Ottomans, and then gobble up North Africa plus Malta (which you naturally lost on like turn 2, JFC). That will actually win you a game sometime in the next decade.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3905098&forum_id=2#35496186) |
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Date: February 27th, 2018 12:24 AM Author: sapphire sex offender prole
I rate you as thinking the first edition of Triumph and Tragedy has good box art:
https://boardgamegeek.com/image/2497742/triumph-tragedy
Okay, let's break this down.
1. Of all the counter symbols they could have shown, why a carrier? Carrier warfare did happen in Europe, but is overwhelmingly associated with the Pacific War.
2. Why the pocketwatch? Is it going for a "countdown" motif? Shouldn't it at least be closer to midnight then?
3. What's with the random clip-art style scattering of the stars, the atomic symbol, the marching soldier, etc? It's lazy as hell.
4. Most importantly, why does this WW2 game have a map that features Europe's PRESENT-DAY borders? GMT is a major wargame company and nobody fucking noticed that? What in the fuck?
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3905098&forum_id=2#35496301) |
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Date: February 27th, 2018 2:00 PM Author: sapphire sex offender prole
I rate you as Kickstarting any wargame.
Look, optimism was understandable when Kickstarter was new, and it's obvious why crowdfunding is particularly useful in wargames, a niche hobby where games have print runs of just a few thousand. But seriously, what wargame has ever had its first release be as awesome as it initially looked? Lincoln's War was busted out of the box and clearly inferior to both For the People and The U.S. Civil War. Victory in Europe was extremely late and still needed a big rules overhaul. Up Front wasn't even released; the money simply disappeared and the whole thing collapsed into a snarl of litigation and a 15,000-post BoardGameGeek thread (not flame: https://boardgamegeek.com/thread/956591/yes-what-does-mean-front)
By this point, only proles are getting burned by this sort of thing. If you want a kickstarter game, wait for it to come out and snap up a copy when early backers inevitably sell off an unpunched copy in a collection purge. Maybe you'll pay a bit extra for it, but that's more than made up for by not backing games that turn out utterly broken.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3905098&forum_id=2#35499219) |
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Date: February 27th, 2018 2:22 PM Author: sapphire sex offender prole
I rate you as failing to deploy America's "crappy" generals in Washington's War.
Far from being a weakness, America's non-Washington generals are their greatest asset in the game. Sure, they're terrible in combat, but that's not the point. They have a ton of them, they can never permanently die, and they're easily moved with 1 and 2-point ops cards. Meanwhile the British are stuck trying to stamp out the Americans with ponderous 3-ops generals. The Brits only have two generals with even decent mobility, and one of them is Burgoyne who fucking sucks. If you're trying to win the war as the Americans using just Washington and Rochambeau, you'll lose, because they lose head-to-head against Howe and Cornwallis. But if you have Lee, Gates, and Lafayette prancing around, cutting off supply lines, retreating before battle, and generally causing a ton of chaos, the British will have a really hard time winning the game.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3905098&forum_id=2#35499359) |
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Date: February 27th, 2018 3:53 PM Author: sapphire sex offender prole
I rate you as trying to achieve Japan's historic advance in Empire of the Sun.
Getting the actual knockout win as Japan is absurdly tough in EotS, especially with the 2nd edition rules. At a minimum you're probably gonna have to defeat 2/3 of India, China, and Australia, and even taking out one is hard and requires some luck. If you fail, tons of Japanese are gonna die. Not only that, but attacking more actually makes the game far easier for the Allies. They take a strategic will penalty if they don't make adequate war progress, a figure that is calculated simply based on how much land they can capture each turn. If there is less Japanese land to attack, this requirement is harder to achieve, and you're more likely to win a late-game strategic will victory.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3905098&forum_id=2#35500030) |
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Date: February 27th, 2018 8:39 PM Author: sapphire sex offender prole
It's a 180 hobby, brother. All not flame.
I rate you as playing A Few Acres of Snow at all. Sure, it's innovative, but the developer of the game has already confirmed the game is BUSTED. The British have an absolutely dominant strategy, the Halifax Hammer, and if executed right it's almost impossible for the French to win.
Even then, the game might be worth it if you tried to pretend the strategy didn't exist, but there's no need to bother, for two reasons. First, if you want a game on the French and Indian War, a better one already exists: GMT's Wilderness War. Second, if you want a game using AFAOS's mechanics, you can get the excellent and balanced Hands in the Sea, the most notable game on the First Punic War.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3905098&forum_id=2#35501982) |
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Date: February 28th, 2018 11:47 PM Author: sapphire sex offender prole
Thank.
I rate you as complaining that artillery radios break too often in Combat Commander: Europe.
Don't you get it, man? The radio isn't LITERALLY breaking. It's just the label used for every possible reason you might not have access to artillery barrages. Maybe the radio really did break. Maybe artillery is being used elsewhere on the wider off-map battlefield. Maybe the guns are temporary out of ammunition and more supplies are being brought forward. Maybe an enemy strafing run forced the artillery crew to scatter. There are COUNTLESS possible explanations, bro. USE YOUR IMAGINATION.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3905098&forum_id=2#35511222) |
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