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cohabitation before marriage might have been a terrible idea
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Date: March 9th, 2018 12:24 AM Author: Mint mad cow disease i want to marry my girlfriend, but i'm going to have to leave for a while for economic reasons. there is no material reason she should come with me. i fucked up. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3913822&forum_id=2#35567052) |
Date: March 9th, 2018 12:25 AM Author: light razzmatazz box office who knew lol (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3913822&forum_id=2#35567061) |
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Date: March 9th, 2018 12:26 AM Author: Mint mad cow disease i was an atheist for years and years, it made me done goofed. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3913822&forum_id=2#35567068) |
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Date: March 13th, 2018 2:46 PM Author: embarrassed to the bone circlehead becky (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3913822&forum_id=2#35596212) |
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Date: March 9th, 2018 1:13 AM Author: Sapphire useless ticket booth incel Why don't you marry her? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3913822&forum_id=2#35567323) |
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Date: March 9th, 2018 9:09 AM Author: Mint mad cow disease I want to get married, I'm even friends with a seminary rector who jokes about how easy it would be to just get married in back. it's literally just social forces that stop us, like Becky is getting married this year and I don't want to compete with her napkin choice. fucking gc (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3913822&forum_id=2#35568118) |
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Date: March 9th, 2018 9:24 AM Author: Lascivious Lime Parlor Antidepressant Drug Just marry her. A summer can contain more than one wedding for a friends group. Just put it in a different month. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3913822&forum_id=2#35568197) |
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Date: March 9th, 2018 9:30 AM Author: Hilarious Boistinker Bawdyhouse Your woman sounds like fine marriage material. Lmao (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3913822&forum_id=2#35568232) |
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Date: March 9th, 2018 9:31 AM Author: red orchestra pit (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3913822&forum_id=2#35568237) |
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Date: March 9th, 2018 9:40 AM Author: Mint mad cow disease eef (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3913822&forum_id=2#35568273) |
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Date: March 9th, 2018 9:42 AM Author: light razzmatazz box office (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3913822&forum_id=2#35568282) |
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Date: March 9th, 2018 1:31 PM Author: balding outnumbered gas station bbw (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3913822&forum_id=2#35570080) |
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Date: March 9th, 2018 6:12 PM Author: Motley Harsh Kitchen Love Of Her Life (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3913822&forum_id=2#35572153) |
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Date: March 9th, 2018 6:13 PM Author: Medicated indian lodge weed whacker (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3913822&forum_id=2#35572163) |
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Date: March 13th, 2018 2:47 PM Author: High-end pearly deer antler (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3913822&forum_id=2#35596221) |
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Date: March 13th, 2018 2:55 PM Author: Provocative topaz azn (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3913822&forum_id=2#35596295) |
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Date: March 9th, 2018 10:24 AM Author: crimson startled gay wizard church building Holy fucking shit lol at marrying a woman like that (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3913822&forum_id=2#35568562) |
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Date: March 9th, 2018 10:40 AM Author: Sapphire useless ticket booth incel Lmao those are terrible reasons to not get married. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3913822&forum_id=2#35568668) |
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Date: March 9th, 2018 10:43 AM Author: Mint mad cow disease agreed (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3913822&forum_id=2#35568692) |
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Date: March 9th, 2018 10:50 AM Author: Sapphire useless ticket booth incel So get married. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3913822&forum_id=2#35568767) |
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Date: March 9th, 2018 6:13 PM Author: Misanthropic Church you can get married now and have a party at some later more convenient date (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3913822&forum_id=2#35572171) |
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Date: March 9th, 2018 9:24 AM Author: red orchestra pit sex before marriage also terrible idea (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3913822&forum_id=2#35568202) |
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Date: March 9th, 2018 9:32 AM Author: infuriating primrose theater Are you kidding? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3913822&forum_id=2#35568244) |
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Date: March 9th, 2018 9:48 AM Author: red orchestra pit only kind of (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3913822&forum_id=2#35568313) |
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Date: March 14th, 2018 10:00 AM Author: Honey-headed Excitant Knife People Who Are Hurt You’re such a stupid cunt (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3913822&forum_id=2#35602349) |
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Date: March 9th, 2018 10:08 AM Author: Mint mad cow disease i'll admit i don't know where to draw the line between a couple of relationships and tinder cock carousel, but i don't think there's any putting the genie back in the bottle wrt this (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3913822&forum_id=2#35568446) |
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Date: March 9th, 2018 10:41 AM Author: red orchestra pit oh, definitely, im speaking theoretically (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3913822&forum_id=2#35568679) |
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Date: March 9th, 2018 10:45 AM Author: Sapphire useless ticket booth incel There is no line. There has just been a great catastrophe and we live in the aftermath. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3913822&forum_id=2#35568715) |
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Date: March 9th, 2018 10:50 AM Author: red orchestra pit (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3913822&forum_id=2#35568772) |
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Date: March 9th, 2018 11:44 AM Author: Mint mad cow disease sadly tcr (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3913822&forum_id=2#35569280) |
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Date: March 9th, 2018 1:31 PM Author: balding outnumbered gas station bbw (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3913822&forum_id=2#35570082) |
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Date: March 9th, 2018 6:14 PM Author: cocky insanely creepy main people station (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3913822&forum_id=2#35572176) |
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Date: March 13th, 2018 2:35 AM Author: claret lay selfie (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3913822&forum_id=2#35593161) |
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Date: March 13th, 2018 2:40 AM Author: low-t set (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3913822&forum_id=2#35593192) |
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Date: March 13th, 2018 2:57 AM Author: onyx property spin, ratfucks (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3913822&forum_id=2#35593224) |
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Date: March 13th, 2018 3:19 AM Author: Bossy Plaza Twinkling Uncleanness (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3913822&forum_id=2#35593255) |
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Date: March 14th, 2018 10:00 AM Author: Honey-headed Excitant Knife People Who Are Hurt (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3913822&forum_id=2#35602352) |
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Date: March 9th, 2018 9:33 AM Author: infuriating primrose theater This thread is full of fail. If you want to get married then get married. If you want her to come with you and she can, then why can't she come with you? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3913822&forum_id=2#35568246) |
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Date: March 9th, 2018 9:48 AM Author: supple casino keepsake machete (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3913822&forum_id=2#35568320) |
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Date: March 9th, 2018 10:09 AM Author: Mint mad cow disease i haven't brought up the question but don't think she wants to get married right now from what probing i've done. can't come because she won't have a job and she's a gc worker unit. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3913822&forum_id=2#35568459) |
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Date: March 9th, 2018 11:42 AM Author: infuriating primrose theater So have a conversation with her on all this. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3913822&forum_id=2#35569258) |
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Date: March 9th, 2018 1:46 PM Author: Maize Violent Hairy Legs Address Ntcr. You decide when to get married, not her. You should never discuss marriage before proposing. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3913822&forum_id=2#35570203) |
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Date: March 9th, 2018 6:13 PM Author: Motley Harsh Kitchen Love Of Her Life (single guy) (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3913822&forum_id=2#35572168) |
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Date: March 9th, 2018 1:45 PM Author: Maize Violent Hairy Legs Address You pussy. Just buy a ring and propose. She’ll say yes unless she wants to pack her shit and leave your place. It’s not up to her when you propose. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3913822&forum_id=2#35570196) |
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Date: March 14th, 2018 10:01 AM Author: Honey-headed Excitant Knife People Who Are Hurt You’re the lowest iq dimwit here (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3913822&forum_id=2#35602354) |
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Date: March 9th, 2018 9:33 AM Author: Boyish Naked Stage People who cohabitate before marriage have higher divorce rates, hth. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3913822&forum_id=2#35568247) |
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Date: March 9th, 2018 9:34 AM Author: infuriating primrose theater JFC, do they not teach that correlation does not equal causation anymore? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3913822&forum_id=2#35568250) |
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Date: March 9th, 2018 9:35 AM Author: Insane brethren the causation can be logically argued, but it's hard to prove. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3913822&forum_id=2#35568255) |
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Date: March 9th, 2018 9:43 AM Author: infuriating primrose theater No shit, but the mere fact that they're correlated doesn't mean shit. In this case it probably has more to do with the fact that the only people who don't cohabit before marriage are religious nutjobs, who are less likely to get divorced. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3913822&forum_id=2#35568285) |
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Date: March 9th, 2018 9:47 AM Author: Insane brethren and it probably also has something to do with the fact that premarital cohabitation causes people to be shittier spouses, to value marriage less seriously, etc. again, it's hard to prove this. i'm not saying it's a complete causation by any means. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3913822&forum_id=2#35568308) |
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Date: March 9th, 2018 9:51 AM Author: infuriating primrose theater I seriously doubt this. Whether someone is a good or shitty spouse has more to do on life outlook, compatibility, etc. Compatibility, incidentally, is really hard to gauge on a day to day level before living together.
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Date: March 9th, 2018 9:57 AM Author: Insane brethren compatibility is about character and values and compromise, not whether one person is a neat freak and other is a slob. basic day to day shit is superficial and can be worked out if two people have the right values and character. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3913822&forum_id=2#35568385) |
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Date: March 9th, 2018 10:07 AM Author: infuriating primrose theater "compatibility is about character and values and compromise, not whether one person is a neat freak and other is a slob"
It is both.
"basic day to day shit is superficial and can be worked out if two people have the right values and character"
Yeah, if two people like to live in totally different ways they're in for a rough time. |
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Date: March 9th, 2018 10:13 AM Author: Insane brethren how many divorces happen because of day-to-day incompatibility like one person is clean and the other is messy? is that even in incompatibility -- two neat freaks can drive each other crazy, and two slobs can drive each other crazy as well. all this stuff can be deal with. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3913822&forum_id=2#35568483) |
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Date: March 9th, 2018 10:19 AM Author: infuriating primrose theater Can it? Yes. But it makes life harder and living with someone for decades will have challenges even in the best of cases.
Also, the number one cause of divorce is finances. This is an opportunity to see how they handle spending on a day to day basis. |
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Date: March 9th, 2018 10:22 AM Author: Insane brethren you missed the point. there's potential for conflict in any permutation of clean/neat. two clean freaks can drive each other crazy just as much as one clean freak and one slob can drive each other crazy. there's no best of cases and worst of cases. this is all superficial shit.
of course divorce/sex are the top causes of divorce. you could easily observe how shitty someone is with their money without living with them. i could tell you whether every friend/acquaintance i know is good or bad with money just by seeing the lifestyle they lead. |
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Date: March 9th, 2018 11:43 AM Author: infuriating primrose theater LOL, you're a perfect example of why people should live together first. You have no idea what you're talking about. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3913822&forum_id=2#35569267) |
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Date: March 9th, 2018 9:51 AM Author: khaki awkward step-uncle's house I think it's more that once you start combining possessions, it's much harder to separate. People just move on to the next step (marriage) instead of breaking up. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3913822&forum_id=2#35568345) |
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Date: March 13th, 2018 2:50 PM Author: High-end pearly deer antler yes.
i broke up with a LTR after we had lived together for a couple years, had the same circle of friends, shared most things, etc and it was fucking DREADFUL. |
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Date: March 9th, 2018 9:54 AM Author: bespoke philosopher-king Lol come on (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3913822&forum_id=2#35568359) |
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Date: March 9th, 2018 9:54 AM Author: bespoke philosopher-king This was always my take on that stat too (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3913822&forum_id=2#35568369) |
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Date: March 9th, 2018 10:23 AM Author: vibrant garrison (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3913822&forum_id=2#35568555) |
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Date: March 9th, 2018 9:41 AM Author: Mint mad cow disease seems right but link for scholarly purposes? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3913822&forum_id=2#35568278) |
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Date: March 9th, 2018 9:50 AM Author: Boyish Naked Stage https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/in-the-name-love/201303/does-cohabitation-lead-more-divorces
My wife and I cohabitated for a few years and have been married for 11, btw. We were aware going in to our marriage that cohabitation prior was connected with higher divorce rates. We also did premarital counseling through our church and they urged us to make specific life changes so that our life together felt "new" after the marriage and that helped considerably. |
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Date: March 9th, 2018 10:00 AM Author: Insane brethren fuck jesus, but this is CR. our ortho jew marital advisors (rabbis, rebbetzins, elders who gave us husband/wife classes) did the same for us. the big one, of course, is observing the laws of jewish marital purity. we also got new sheets (returned the old ones, of course), got new sofas, kashered the kitchen and replaced all the cookware with the kashering (returned them of course) right after the wedding, etc. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3913822&forum_id=2#35568408) |
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Date: March 9th, 2018 10:06 AM Author: Mint mad cow disease interesting, ty bro (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3913822&forum_id=2#35568433) |
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Date: March 9th, 2018 1:41 PM Author: brilliant boltzmann institution what kind of changes did you make iyo (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3913822&forum_id=2#35570163) |
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Date: March 9th, 2018 3:57 PM Author: Boyish Naked Stage The biggest was moving. We were ready to buy a house and so waited to do it until right after we were married, and we chose to go to a new community. Nesting into the house and making new friends in our neighborhood helped.
It was also far enough away that we needed to find a new church.
We also started a "date night" since we'd already fallen into an old married couple routine. We've let it go since then, but that lasted for a while and was helpful.
We made a few commitments toward basic relationship maintenance - communication type things - that we started right after we got married, too, and that we hadn't been doing when we were just living together. |
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Date: March 9th, 2018 10:21 AM Author: bearded affirmative action Men who are still marrying in 2018 are betas who have concluded they can't do any better and are okay with putting everything they've worked for on the line against an extremely biased family court system.
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Date: March 9th, 2018 10:28 AM Author: Mint mad cow disease or trying to be virtuous and live well, bro (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3913822&forum_id=2#35568584) |
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Date: March 9th, 2018 11:01 AM Author: Sapphire useless ticket booth incel (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3913822&forum_id=2#35568850) |
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Date: March 13th, 2018 2:49 AM Author: low-t set (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3913822&forum_id=2#35593216) |
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Date: March 9th, 2018 10:28 AM Author: Mint mad cow disease (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3913822&forum_id=2#35568585) |
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Date: March 9th, 2018 10:28 AM Author: Insane brethren (beta virgin) (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3913822&forum_id=2#35568587) |
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Date: March 9th, 2018 10:41 AM Author: bearded affirmative action I have nothing against getting laid. However, I'm very against allowing the government to determine what happens if your relationship fails. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3913822&forum_id=2#35568681) |
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Date: March 9th, 2018 10:48 AM Author: Insane brethren this is virginspeak (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3913822&forum_id=2#35568751) |
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Date: March 9th, 2018 10:54 AM Author: bearded affirmative action I lost my virginity in the 90s. You're probably just mad because you're already married and now realize you have no way out without losing everything. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3913822&forum_id=2#35568802) |
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Date: March 9th, 2018 1:43 PM Author: mildly autistic den oh so you're sad, lonely, AND old. thanks for clarifying. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3913822&forum_id=2#35570184) |
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Date: March 9th, 2018 2:08 PM Author: Insane brethren (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3913822&forum_id=2#35570410) |
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Date: March 13th, 2018 2:37 AM Author: claret lay selfie (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3913822&forum_id=2#35593175) |
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Date: March 9th, 2018 1:23 PM Author: infuriating primrose theater (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3913822&forum_id=2#35570027) |
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Date: March 13th, 2018 2:36 AM Author: claret lay selfie Jesus christ take a break from redpill thought for once (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3913822&forum_id=2#35593170) |
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Date: March 13th, 2018 2:42 AM Author: red orchestra pit cr, sad to see people too far down the redpill wormhole. broken souls, probably irretrievable. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3913822&forum_id=2#35593198) |
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Date: March 13th, 2018 2:53 PM Author: Provocative topaz azn Is he wrong about family court tho? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3913822&forum_id=2#35596273) |
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Date: March 9th, 2018 10:47 AM Author: galvanic giraffe "but i'm going to have to leave for a while for economic reasons"
explain |
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Date: March 9th, 2018 3:59 PM Author: Mind-boggling salmon dog poop titcexplain (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3913822&forum_id=2#35571279) |
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Date: March 9th, 2018 6:12 PM Author: Motley Harsh Kitchen Love Of Her Life Let me get this straight, you want to marry your live in girlfriend. You have to go to a different city for work. Instead of telling her all of this, you're just going to break up? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3913822&forum_id=2#35572161) |
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Date: March 13th, 2018 2:33 AM Author: Mint mad cow disease i didn't have a ring or anything, but brought up marriage a few days ago. she was taken aback and could not handle talking about the concept. i'm fucked, bros. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3913822&forum_id=2#35593153) |
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Date: March 13th, 2018 2:34 AM Author: onyx property spin, ratfucks (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3913822&forum_id=2#35593157) |
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Date: March 13th, 2018 2:36 AM Author: Mint mad cow disease i love her but she just doesn't want to get married at 25. she is entering the church soon though so maybe there will be a miracle conversion but idk man (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3913822&forum_id=2#35593166) |
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Date: March 13th, 2018 2:36 AM Author: onyx property spin, ratfucks (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3913822&forum_id=2#35593172) |
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Date: March 13th, 2018 2:37 AM Author: Mint mad cow disease 3 years and lol no, but i was also a degenerate. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3913822&forum_id=2#35593178) |
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Date: March 13th, 2018 2:39 AM Author: onyx property spin, ratfucks (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3913822&forum_id=2#35593182) |
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Date: March 13th, 2018 2:40 AM Author: Mint mad cow disease of course it is. anti-social hedonism is awful, whether from men or women. arguably, men should know better. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3913822&forum_id=2#35593193) |
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Date: March 13th, 2018 3:25 AM Author: Medicated indian lodge weed whacker (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3913822&forum_id=2#35593259) |
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Date: March 13th, 2018 2:21 PM Author: Sapphire useless ticket booth incel (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3913822&forum_id=2#35595949) |
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Date: March 13th, 2018 2:52 PM Author: Provocative topaz azn (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3913822&forum_id=2#35596256) |
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Date: March 13th, 2018 2:57 PM Author: onyx property spin, ratfucks (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3913822&forum_id=2#35596314) |
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Date: March 13th, 2018 2:45 PM Author: Sapphire useless ticket booth incel Damn, that sucks.
Sorry to pry a bit, but rather than simply advise ATD I guess I'd have a few questions:
-Is she entering the church for serious reasons or mostly to make you happy? Are you still cohabiting (and presumably boning) at this moment? Do you consider this inadvisable at all if so?
-Why the heck is she so opposed to getting married at 25? That's a perfectly normal age to get married at. No significant life changes are coming past that point save your steady decline to inevitable death.
-Does she know about your impending departure to foreign land? How does she feel about it? Was she just down for some non-marital LDR of indeterminate length? |
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Date: March 13th, 2018 2:52 PM Author: High-end pearly deer antler i'm also curious about #2. you guys have been dating for 3 years and 25 is a normal age for a girl to get married. if she wants to marry you, what's the difference whether she marries you at 26 (assuming a 1 yr engagement) or like 28? what does that change? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3913822&forum_id=2#35596258) |
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Date: March 14th, 2018 1:18 AM Author: Mint mad cow disease odds i got irl catfished? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3913822&forum_id=2#35601293) |
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Date: March 14th, 2018 1:19 AM Author: onyx property spin, ratfucks (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3913822&forum_id=2#35601296) |
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Date: March 14th, 2018 1:23 AM Author: Mint mad cow disease i love her though and really don't want to seek another relationship at this point. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3913822&forum_id=2#35601304) |
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Date: March 14th, 2018 1:24 AM Author: onyx property spin, ratfucks (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3913822&forum_id=2#35601309) |
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Date: March 14th, 2018 9:53 AM Author: High-end pearly deer antler idk. i just find it completely bizarre when she says she wants to wait. wait for what?
it'd be different if she had a reason. like maybe she might get a promotion that would require her to expat for a year and she wants to get married when she's back in the US. or if you had been dating for only 3 months and she wanted more time to get to know you better, that would be totally reasonable.
but 3 years dating and you're moving in together? i mean shit, if you don't know by now whether you want to marry the person then you might as well break up. |
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Date: March 14th, 2018 12:38 AM Author: Mint mad cow disease my answers might not be very interesting but here we go: - she has serious reasons of her own, and her social life has weirdly swayed into an awkward position between degenerate liberals and tradcons. cohabitating was a mistake, but, perhaps luckily, we won't be soon. on sex i have a perhaps post-hoc or disingenuous position, but seriously think that the telos should not just be childbearing, but also serious, hopefully permanent unification of two people. obviously it should be done in marriage so that it will be permanent, and i regret my decisions. - i have no idea. one of her friends is getting married at 29 (the becky mentioned above), so maybe that's making her think it isn't time yet; or, since she is from proletown USA, perhaps she associates getting married young with that; or perhaps she did not plan for the relationship to be marriage-track, as you suggest. - she knows, and she encouraged me to do it when i initially said "fuck no". maybe she didn't think she was signing up for this, so to speak, and she expected to be in more relationships before she tied herself down. in that case, i wonder if she would have cut out much earlier if we weren't cohabitating. on the other hand, giving her the benefit of the doubt, me leaving is hitting her kinda hard too. maybe she just was not prepared to think about marriage. |
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Date: March 14th, 2018 1:28 AM Author: dashing tattoo she sounds genuine but perhaps not mentally prepared to give up fucking other people on the side, which she's probably been doing
not trying to be too flippant here. just can't think of many other reasons given your description of her and the situation. you're her "relationship" but she thinks she's too young to give up the rest of her sex life. |
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Date: March 14th, 2018 1:28 AM Author: onyx property spin, ratfucks (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3913822&forum_id=2#35601318) |
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Date: March 14th, 2018 1:43 AM Author: dashing tattoo it's really my best guess
if she didn't like op she wouldn't have spent 3 years with him or cohabitated with him, and she wouldn't have gotten "taken aback/anxious" at the idea of marriage. she would have said "lol fuck no" and gone on her way.
she got anxious because she actually does think she might want to marry him, but she isn't ready for it, and is afraid that if she just says "no" then it's all over and back to square one for her as far as finding a potential mate goes. but she also doesn't want to say "yes" because she doesn't want to give up her youth yet.
optimal path for a chick is to maximize time fucking strange while still young, and lock someone down just before looks start to go downhill. risk is that she hasn't locked someone down before it starts to go downhill. so the game to play is to foster relationships with potential husbands while still pulling tricks on the side. then she can maximize fucking around time without the risk of not having a potential long-term mate when looks start to go south. but op has forced her hand and now she can't have both MY relationship and MY chads.
i.e. she wants to have her cake and eat it too. |
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Date: March 14th, 2018 1:50 AM Author: onyx property spin, ratfucks (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3913822&forum_id=2#35601378) |
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Date: March 13th, 2018 2:24 PM Author: bearded affirmative action Don't get married, bro. It'll likely be the biggest mistake you'll ever make. All relationships fizzle out at some point...whether it's 3 years from now, 10 years from now, 20 years from now or 40 years from now.
It'll happen. |
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Date: March 21st, 2018 1:03 AM Author: Mint mad cow disease gf did her first confession today. she seemed shaken but i was too when i came back to the church. priest told her she had to stop cohabitating, so maybe there's some providential force in me moving far away. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3913822&forum_id=2#35650575) |
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Date: March 26th, 2018 12:33 AM Author: Sapphire useless ticket booth incel (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3913822&forum_id=2#35688930) |
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Date: March 26th, 2018 12:47 AM Author: Mint mad cow disease ty bro (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3913822&forum_id=2#35689021) |