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I'm a 32 year old virgin and have never even kissed. Or hugged romantically
Poast new message in this thread
Date: March 14th, 2018 5:02 PM Author: Cerebral sinister library round eye (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3918708&forum_id=2#35605531) |
Date: March 14th, 2018 5:02 PM Author: effete goyim twinkling uncleanness (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3918708&forum_id=2#35605533) |
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Date: March 14th, 2018 5:02 PM Author: sticky cracking toaster what do you think your problem is? crippling social anxiety? ugliness? |
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Date: March 14th, 2018 5:06 PM Author: Cerebral sinister library round eye i have never been good looking
the biggest issue is i have trouble expressing attraction to women. i have never understood "flirting" or "hitting on" someone and have never done it. i basically interact with everyone in the exact same way -- friendly and professional |
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Date: March 14th, 2018 5:06 PM Author: sticky cracking toaster BEEP BEEP BEEP (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3918708&forum_id=2#35605567) |
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Date: March 14th, 2018 5:07 PM Author: Appetizing Mental Disorder flirting is poetry and song. its not something an autist would understand. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3918708&forum_id=2#35605570) |
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Date: March 14th, 2018 5:09 PM Author: Cerebral sinister library round eye i get along pretty well in almost every other context though - school, biglaw, recreational outings with co-workers
so i dont' know if i'm really an autist. it's just that expressing sexual attraction seems shameful and strange to me, as is changing one's behavior toward someone else because of such base instincts |
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Date: March 14th, 2018 5:10 PM Author: Appetizing Mental Disorder flirting is the aim of life. you have failed at being human and alive.
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Date: March 14th, 2018 5:10 PM Author: effete goyim twinkling uncleanness it is autism bro, I do the same thing (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3918708&forum_id=2#35605602) |
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Date: March 14th, 2018 5:12 PM Author: Cerebral sinister library round eye so how are you dealing with the situation. i don't really understand why i'm pretty normal in every way except sex/romance stuff (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3918708&forum_id=2#35605622) |
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Date: March 14th, 2018 5:13 PM Author: effete goyim twinkling uncleanness thinking about killing myself (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3918708&forum_id=2#35605625) |
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Date: March 14th, 2018 5:20 PM Author: excitant zippy kitty (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3918708&forum_id=2#35605699) |
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Date: March 14th, 2018 5:13 PM Author: sticky cracking toaster do you experience sexual arousal generally? does your heart start beating faster when an attractive girl talks to you? you would be better off literally straight up saying "btw I think you're beautiful" instead of trying to flirt in a subtler, more experienced way |
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Date: March 14th, 2018 5:14 PM Author: Cerebral sinister library round eye yes. i used to get crushes on people but haven't in like 8 years. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3918708&forum_id=2#35605633) |
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Date: March 14th, 2018 5:15 PM Author: sticky cracking toaster take my advice above the next time you're talking to a girl you find attractive, just be 100% honest if the conversation seems to be going well at all. Don't try too hard to be "smooth." Just tell her you think she's hot and go from there. If she rejects you, who fucking cares? You're better batting .100 than 0/0. |
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Date: March 14th, 2018 5:12 PM Author: Nighttime Gaping maybe you're just not a sex-haver, it's OK (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3918708&forum_id=2#35605613) |
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Date: March 14th, 2018 6:19 PM Author: Brindle Multi-colored Theater Stage Turdskin you should chop your cock off and buy one of those anime pillows and use it for emotional affection
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Date: March 14th, 2018 5:02 PM Author: Underhanded wrinkle 32 is young you can still maek it (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3918708&forum_id=2#35605535) |
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Date: March 14th, 2018 5:25 PM Author: Provocative ticket booth foreskin (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3918708&forum_id=2#35605740) |
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Date: March 14th, 2018 8:49 PM Author: swashbuckling rehab My mom used to say stupid shit like this to me right up until I hit 35 and then even my mom stopped pretending I was young. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3918708&forum_id=2#35607216) |
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Date: March 14th, 2018 8:51 PM Author: filthy nowag (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3918708&forum_id=2#35607225) |
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Date: March 14th, 2018 5:03 PM Author: drunken hairless half-breed join the club: https://twitter.com/mlauzon/ |
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Date: March 14th, 2018 5:04 PM Author: Aromatic Claret Really Tough Guy How have you not visited a prostitute or killed yourself? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3918708&forum_id=2#35605543) |
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Date: March 14th, 2018 5:07 PM Author: Tantric Frum Psychic Chapel (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3918708&forum_id=2#35605574) |
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Date: March 14th, 2018 5:08 PM Author: saffron menage hie to asia.
not flame. you bombed out of this society. but you have the privilege of descending on a lesser scene and being gifted bigstatus. |
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Date: March 14th, 2018 5:45 PM Author: spectacular blood rage (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3918708&forum_id=2#35605872) |
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Date: March 14th, 2018 8:46 PM Author: Racy parlor hissy fit (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3918708&forum_id=2#35607195) |
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Date: March 14th, 2018 9:08 PM Author: Insanely creepy hospital (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3918708&forum_id=2#35607383) |
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Date: March 15th, 2018 12:41 PM Author: impressive fiercely-loyal center (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3918708&forum_id=2#35611294) |
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Date: March 14th, 2018 5:11 PM Author: Appetizing Mental Disorder btw, do your coworkers know you are a virgin at 32? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3918708&forum_id=2#35605611) |
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Date: March 14th, 2018 5:13 PM Author: Cerebral sinister library round eye i don't think so, they probably think i'm private about personal matters. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3918708&forum_id=2#35605628) |
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Date: March 14th, 2018 5:15 PM Author: Appetizing Mental Disorder k... (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3918708&forum_id=2#35605646) |
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Date: March 14th, 2018 5:14 PM Author: drunken hairless half-breed probably. there's usually something off/awkward about these types (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3918708&forum_id=2#35605634) |
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Date: March 14th, 2018 5:16 PM Author: Cerebral sinister library round eye can you describe? i'm not like some neckbeard (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3918708&forum_id=2#35605654) |
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Date: March 14th, 2018 5:18 PM Author: sticky cracking toaster people, ESPECIALLY women, can smell (sometimes literally via pheromones) whether you're the kind of guy who gets laid or not (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3918708&forum_id=2#35605670) |
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Date: March 14th, 2018 5:32 PM Author: yapping messiness Yeah it's brutal. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3918708&forum_id=2#35605790) |
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Date: March 14th, 2018 5:34 PM Author: sticky cracking toaster :( I believe in you, friend |
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Date: March 14th, 2018 5:38 PM Author: yapping messiness What would you advise? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3918708&forum_id=2#35605821) |
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Date: March 14th, 2018 5:49 PM Author: sticky cracking toaster honestly, you might want to give OKCupid a shot I know, I know you detest the very idea of dating apps, but IME OKC is better than Tinder for finding more than just a hookup. You can fill out an extensive written profile, answer lifestyle questions that determine match %, indicate prominently that you're exclusively looking for a long-term relationship, that you're Christian and it's very important to you, etc. All of this information is instantly featured on all the women you'll look at. True, the quality of women looks-wise is not as good as Tinder/Bumble, but I don't think you can be too picky at this point. |
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Date: March 14th, 2018 6:11 PM Author: yapping messiness Is that really the only option? It's weird and probably irrational but my revulsion toward dating apps is incredibly powerful. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3918708&forum_id=2#35606081) |
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Date: March 14th, 2018 6:13 PM Author: ultramarine scourge upon the earth Okcupid is a wasteland. Quality has massively declined sometime in the last several years. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3918708&forum_id=2#35606095) |
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Date: March 14th, 2018 6:14 PM Author: sticky cracking toaster if you're in a major city (he's in DC), there are still diamonds in the rough (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3918708&forum_id=2#35606111) |
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Date: March 14th, 2018 6:13 PM Author: sticky cracking toaster I mean just look at it as a surefire way of increasing your pool of options tenfold. No one will make you swipe right on chicks you don't like. No one will force you to message or respond to messages. I don't see the downside of at least checking it out. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain. It really is different from Tinder/Bumble (again, IME) (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3918708&forum_id=2#35606105) |
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Date: March 14th, 2018 6:26 PM Author: yapping messiness Well, not zero risk. Journalists do have their dating profiles found and used for malicious purposes (I was literally told at my last job not to join Tinder for this reason).
Still, point taken. Maybe I'll give it a look.
Maybe. |
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Date: March 15th, 2018 2:33 PM Author: vivacious well-lubricated bawdyhouse therapy Do ChristianMingle (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3918708&forum_id=2#35612229) |
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Date: March 15th, 2018 2:44 PM Author: Glittery Jet-lagged Address Candlestick Maker OKCupid is pretty much at the bottom, second only to Plenty of Fish. He'd probably have much better luck on eHarmony or Match. At least with the pay services, you're filtering out the riffraff. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3918708&forum_id=2#35612321) |
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Date: March 15th, 2018 2:51 PM Author: avocado exhilarant tanning salon actually know a dude who got a hotwife on match (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3918708&forum_id=2#35612377) |
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Date: March 14th, 2018 5:47 PM Author: drunken hairless half-breed cr (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3918708&forum_id=2#35605882) |
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Date: March 14th, 2018 5:47 PM Author: curious national security agency spin, ratfucks (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3918708&forum_id=2#35605885) |
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Date: March 15th, 2018 2:02 PM Author: avocado exhilarant tanning salon (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3918708&forum_id=2#35611919) |
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Date: March 14th, 2018 5:15 PM Author: Cerebral sinister library round eye OP here. i think another related issue is i'm not really interested in developing relationships with people...like i don't really care about deepening friendships with people. my parents don't really have friends and just have each other and that's kinda what i'd like to have. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3918708&forum_id=2#35605647) |
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Date: March 14th, 2018 5:16 PM Author: sticky cracking toaster yeah again, you're autistic. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3918708&forum_id=2#35605660) |
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Date: March 14th, 2018 5:20 PM Author: Cerebral sinister library round eye but i'm quite good at public speaking, making jokes, "banter" with co-workers etc. can I still be autist? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3918708&forum_id=2#35605692) |
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Date: March 14th, 2018 5:21 PM Author: sticky cracking toaster you could just be high functioning your inability to form emotional relationships is the key factor |
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Date: March 14th, 2018 5:38 PM Author: Cerebral sinister library round eye OK that's fair, inability to form emotional relationships is very accurate description of my life so far. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3918708&forum_id=2#35605818) |
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Date: March 14th, 2018 5:24 PM Author: Nighttime Gaping you're more likely to be schizoid
probably best if you keep not having sex |
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Date: March 14th, 2018 8:48 PM Author: Heady fantasy-prone step-uncle's house (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3918708&forum_id=2#35607206) |
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Date: March 14th, 2018 5:27 PM Author: Appetizing Mental Disorder im super bad at all these. you are not autistic, but something about you must be off. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3918708&forum_id=2#35605750) |
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Date: March 14th, 2018 5:31 PM Author: motley garnet space pistol I’m the same way for the most part. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3918708&forum_id=2#35605784) |
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Date: March 14th, 2018 6:03 PM Author: ultramarine scourge upon the earth Sorry bro, you have some similarities to me based on what you've posted in this thread and I can tell you that the outlook for what you desire is very rough. I had it with organic hs gf/wife but divorced. The process to get it back was long and painful but I did eventually have a couple of decent LTRs.
The fundamental problem for you is that most women do not want what you want. In fact, wanting it makes you less desirable in their eyes. Somewhat counterintiutively, that is probably true *even* for the women who have similar goals to you because they will be attracted to high social status.
In my case I could use being better than average looking as a crutch. Got even more jacked, dressed well, etc. That combined with being successful and getting some real confidence (confidence that was actually innate, not the forced PUA kind) put me in a place where I could pointedly tell women that I prefer to keep to myself and not have it be a big deal. If you convey high status in other ways, being anti-social isn't fatal because it is perceived as a choice, but if you look like a slob you're creepy and DONE HERE.
Unfortunately I can also tell you that being aggressive is a requirement. My results got drastically better when I went in with the goal of FUCKING girls rather than hoping that I would have a nice date with some one I liked who also liked me. You gotta FUCK them and then it becomes your option as to where things go, but being nice and hoping they like you and that you go on several dates and form a bond is a path that will get you a lot of "didn't really feel a spark" texts.
I know having someone tell you these things isn't pleasant (nor did I find it pleasant learning them through trial and error), but you'll have to go against your personality in uncomfortable ways to get women. |
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Date: March 15th, 2018 5:37 AM Author: Heady fantasy-prone step-uncle's house JFC this is like an advertisement for hookers.
How to succeed on the dating market as a woman: Whatever, just show up, guys will fawn over you and no matter what you look or act like you're somebody's fetish.
How to succeed on the dating market as a man: Just do adopt an elaborate false consciousness and never deviate from wearing the mask. |
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Date: March 15th, 2018 2:01 PM Author: Cerebral sinister library round eye this sounds like it might be correct. i have been on a couple of dates that didn't end up going anywhere because i just don't know how to express attraction. the idea of touching someone without explicit permission is very weird to me...i supposed i've always wished the woman would make the first physical move.
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Date: March 15th, 2018 2:29 PM Author: ultramarine scourge upon the earth Keep in mind that if the idea of touching someone seems weird, you might be setting up your dates wrong. There are plenty of settings, like a coffee date, where escalating physically feels weird because it WOULD be weird to do so in that situation. Don't have dates like that, because female hamster brains will typically characterize them as "not really any chemistry" even if the date actually went quite well given its setting and constraints. The date needs to be one where you are naturally interacting with her physically to go well. Take this advice from a fellow autist to heart . . . It took a lot of IRL trial and error for me to learn this. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3918708&forum_id=2#35612182) |
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Date: March 15th, 2018 3:27 PM Author: yapping messiness What are good alternatives? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3918708&forum_id=2#35612681) |
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Date: March 15th, 2018 2:09 PM Author: yapping messiness Oof. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3918708&forum_id=2#35611990) |
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Date: March 15th, 2018 2:39 PM Author: Bearded 180 business firm The only advice on dating on xo that even comes remotely close to the truth. Prioritize giving them a peak sexual experience and then the whole kingdom is yours. It's so simple. Just lay down the pipe EXTREMELY WELL the first time and she is yours to lose forever. Sexual attraction, and subsequent domination, is the origination of everything. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3918708&forum_id=2#35612285) |
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Date: March 15th, 2018 2:43 PM Author: Heady fantasy-prone step-uncle's house Just do lay down the pipe EXTREMELY WELL the first time when you're frozen out of the sexual market and she's used to Chad. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3918708&forum_id=2#35612315) |
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Date: March 15th, 2018 2:47 PM Author: Bearded 180 business firm Or just keep on making up excuses on xo why you can't even perform the basic task of satisfying a woman and jerk off to hentai for the rest of your wretched life, or whatever the fuck it is you weirdos do instead of chase women. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3918708&forum_id=2#35612344) |
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Date: March 15th, 2018 3:23 PM Author: Heady fantasy-prone step-uncle's house Never got into hentai. I was planning to drink myself to death. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3918708&forum_id=2#35612656) |
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Date: March 15th, 2018 2:45 PM Author: Underhanded wrinkle (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3918708&forum_id=2#35612333) |
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Date: March 15th, 2018 3:25 PM Author: Underhanded wrinkle this poast is embarrassing, jfc. deleting (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3918708&forum_id=2#35612674) |
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Date: March 14th, 2018 5:16 PM Author: cordovan at-the-ready codepig Schizoid? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3918708&forum_id=2#35605658) |
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Date: March 14th, 2018 5:19 PM Author: Cerebral sinister library round eye covert schizoid does seem very apt. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3918708&forum_id=2#35605685) |
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Date: March 14th, 2018 5:17 PM Author: excitant zippy kitty (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3918708&forum_id=2#35605662) |
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Date: March 14th, 2018 5:18 PM Author: Appetizing Mental Disorder im worse than you. everyone i meet immediately knows i never had a gf and that im a virgin. i never got along with classmates and dont get along with my co-workers. you have it better than me.
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Date: March 14th, 2018 5:20 PM Author: Cerebral sinister library round eye what are your issues? also, biglaw? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3918708&forum_id=2#35605698) |
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Date: March 14th, 2018 5:28 PM Author: Appetizing Mental Disorder my issues? 140lb, sound like a little boy, small penis, zero confidence, high anxiety, super angry and sad all the time in public. in other words, no chill, and no chad. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3918708&forum_id=2#35605755) |
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Date: March 14th, 2018 5:29 PM Author: Tantric Frum Psychic Chapel (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3918708&forum_id=2#35605766) |
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Date: March 14th, 2018 5:37 PM Author: Nudist useless whorehouse : the xo story (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3918708&forum_id=2#35605817) |
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Date: March 15th, 2018 2:03 PM Author: copper field (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3918708&forum_id=2#35611929) |
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Date: March 15th, 2018 2:18 PM Author: avocado exhilarant tanning salon Asian? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3918708&forum_id=2#35612071) |
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Date: March 15th, 2018 2:36 PM Author: Provocative ticket booth foreskin (the xo story) (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3918708&forum_id=2#35612263) |
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Date: March 14th, 2018 5:24 PM Author: mind-boggling hell dingle berry Bang a hooker and get in shape. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3918708&forum_id=2#35605736) |
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Date: March 14th, 2018 5:26 PM Author: maize gaming laptop (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3918708&forum_id=2#35605748) |
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Date: March 14th, 2018 5:33 PM Author: fragrant mauve garrison You could have just said you’re Asian and we would’ve understood (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3918708&forum_id=2#35605794) |
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Date: March 14th, 2018 6:06 PM Author: Ruddy marvelous travel guidebook (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3918708&forum_id=2#35606034) |
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Date: March 15th, 2018 2:02 PM Author: avocado exhilarant tanning salon (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3918708&forum_id=2#35611927) |
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Date: March 14th, 2018 5:33 PM Author: irate main people hall I'm like this too, but even older. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3918708&forum_id=2#35605797) |
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Date: March 14th, 2018 6:26 PM Author: titillating territorial roast beef institution Evan, you’re gay. Totally different (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3918708&forum_id=2#35606227) |
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Date: March 15th, 2018 5:40 AM Author: Awkward histrionic boistinker ? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3918708&forum_id=2#35609649) |
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Date: March 15th, 2018 9:30 AM Author: irate main people hall ? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3918708&forum_id=2#35610215) |
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Date: March 14th, 2018 8:47 PM Author: Racy parlor hissy fit i have never been within a mile of a woman. ever. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3918708&forum_id=2#35607201) |
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Date: March 14th, 2018 8:48 PM Author: citrine macaca (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3918708&forum_id=2#35607204) |
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Date: March 14th, 2018 8:48 PM Author: swashbuckling rehab Why even live if this is your life? Just killself. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3918708&forum_id=2#35607209) |
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Date: March 14th, 2018 8:51 PM Author: Fuchsia Native I don’t believe it. Or you’re just sick (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3918708&forum_id=2#35607227) |
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Date: March 14th, 2018 8:59 PM Author: yapping messiness Why is it hard to believe? There's actually tons of people like this. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3918708&forum_id=2#35607294) |
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Date: March 14th, 2018 9:00 PM Author: vibrant national alpha for me to give a shit, list the self-improvement activities you've attempted over the years and the results (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3918708&forum_id=2#35607305) |
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Date: March 15th, 2018 3:12 PM Author: learning disabled stage pervert (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3918708&forum_id=2#35612549) |
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Date: March 15th, 2018 9:39 AM Author: talented chocolate university Are you lonely? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3918708&forum_id=2#35610264) |
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Date: March 15th, 2018 1:59 PM Author: Cerebral sinister library round eye no. i'm very introverted and can entertain myself for hours on the internet. poasting on forums also is great social interaction. my jerb gives me enough human contact, too.
the main thing is i think starting a family would be cool in the next 10 years but i don't really see any way for that to happen given my personality and experience. |
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Date: March 15th, 2018 2:02 PM Author: doobsian rigor You've come to the right place (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3918708&forum_id=2#35611922) |
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Date: March 15th, 2018 2:03 PM Author: Underhanded wrinkle (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3918708&forum_id=2#35611935) |
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Date: March 15th, 2018 2:05 PM Author: Cerebral sinister library round eye i really liek it here. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3918708&forum_id=2#35611953) |
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Date: March 15th, 2018 2:15 PM Author: Cerebral sinister library round eye CharlesXII, i think you and i are very similar. you have said before that you are fairly good in social situations and are not some shut-in aspie neckbeard.
have you also had this similar difficulty with expressing attraction? i'm not religious, but i feel like for some reason i have internalized the idea of sexual attraction as something to be hidden, or something that should be revealed and acted on only in rare, private situations. so flirting and being "physical" with women have always struck me as highly inappropriate and strange, even when i was a kid. i had always noticed some guys doing what i would identify as stupid, cringe-inducing things around women just for their attention, and I looked down on it. i remember noticing when friends would act differently around women. i treated women just like i treated men - friendly, professional, what i would call "normal." but clearly something is wrong with my approach. i feel very similar to Stevens in Remains of the Day. the way that he interacted with Kenton reminds me of my own interactions with girls i've had crushes on before. we have decent friendships and interaction, but i cannot bring myself to elevate those interactions to a more personal level; i wouldn't even know how and would feel like some ass doing anything that i see other people do with their girlfriends/wives/dates etc.
what troubles me is this whole "metoo" movement and anti-harassment movement seems to JUSTIFY my own behavior...as if what i'm doing is actually what society is saying is good and it's those other men who are bad. |
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Date: March 15th, 2018 2:45 PM Author: Bearded 180 business firm Spare yourself any further mental derangement and consider avoiding the temptation of following another blind man, or even soliciting his thoughts on anything even peripherally related to the matter at hand. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3918708&forum_id=2#35612334) |
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Date: March 15th, 2018 2:47 PM Author: Underhanded wrinkle So you're just now realizing what women say they want and what they actually want are not the same? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3918708&forum_id=2#35612341) |
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Date: March 15th, 2018 3:24 PM Author: yapping messiness I can relate to a lot of this:
Like you, I have a very hard (really, almost impossible) time expressing attraction for others, and I think I also view it as subtly inappropriate to be overly attracted to a person I just met. This is apparently an extremely non-CR attitude to have ('friend zone' and all that) but has proven difficult to overcome. Maybe this is an outgrowth of my religious conservatism but I personally don't think so.
I'm also self-conscious to a high degree and one of my deepest fears is being publicly humiliated. This makes me extremely wary of putting myself "out there" by admitting interest in somebody. Basically, I have every teenage boy's fear of rejection but I never really got over it. This combines badly with my sentiment against expressing attraction quickly, because this means most people I could express an interest in are friends to one degree or another, and so there's a genuine downside to expressing interest and getting rejected.
I can selectively overcome this fear in certain domains or for a short period of time but it's proven very hard to totally abolish. Add to that the #MeToo concerns about getting labeled creepy and it's a toxic mix.
If my goal were solely to find a slut and get laid I could probably start using brute-force methods to overcome this, but that's not my goal, and instead it's pretty rare for me to even meet a woman who I find interesting. |
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Date: March 15th, 2018 2:46 PM Author: purple charismatic area indirect expression lol @ "hugged romantically" -- what part of asia are you from? any chance to go back to the mainland to find a mate? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3918708&forum_id=2#35612337) |
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Date: March 15th, 2018 2:47 PM Author: Underhanded wrinkle (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3918708&forum_id=2#35612345) |