Off to the loonie bin
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Poast new message in this thread
Date: March 24th, 2018 7:43 PM Author: chrome twinkling uncleanness
Flying out tomorrow to a psychiatric care facility. If I can figure out my shit there that'd be great. If not, I'll move to Israel. Might not be able to post or even lurk for a bit.
Peace out
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3928013&forum_id=2#35679754) |
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Date: March 25th, 2018 11:53 AM Author: chrome twinkling uncleanness
Long story. I had an amazing life when I was 18 and 19. I had worked very hard To get to that point as an athlete and a student. Got injured at 20. Everyone abandoned me. My education which was supposed to be worth millions became worthless. I had switched my major to Liberal Arts to get my GPA above 3.0 to go to law school and then found out "just kidding the law schools were lying" and you should have majored in something useful. The pain in my leg was so bad I was begging for my leg to be amputated. All of a sudden my weed habit became a huge problem when I could no longer physically function and nothing else but smoking made me happy. Got a shitload of trouble for Weed and Alcohol because I was no longer being protected from the consequences of my actions by the football team the coaches the administration Etc.
After finding out that the law schools tricked me into majoring in the liberal arts I decided I couldn't go to law school and my family abandoned me. Forced to hack it on my own with a useless college degree and incredible pain in my leg, I had to become ruthless to make enough money to keep a roof over my head and food in front of me. That ruthlessness eventually allowed me to make pretty decent money. Until Dodd Frank. I then sold out. I sold the f*** out. I agreed to go to law school so that I could get my parents money otherwise I was going to have to hack it on my own in a post Dodd-Frank sociology degree having world. Went to law school try to drop out after first semester the school refuses to let me drop out, claws 10500 from my account for 2nd sem, won't give it back. However I had a girlfriend and I thought I was going to marry her. I was Furious because she had tons of student debt and I have bent over backwards my entire life selling my soul to avoid that. She then left after my second year, the school told me that I was going to have trouble getting an unpaid position. So I decided to Scorch the Earth and start shooting drugs. I haven't used hard drugs in over 2 years now. But it's not like I started using them because my life was livable, I started using them because my life was destroyed. So just because I'm sober it doesn't mean that my life isn't terrible, it is absolutely horrific
Edit. Not only was I not able to command a decent wage for my efforts, I had all these idiot classmates boring tons of money and then taking unpaid jobs living off of the loans. I had assumed that me not doing this meant that I was going to be substantially wealthier than my classmates. Oh contraire. PAYE comes out, my entire competitive advantage in the field dies. And every single one of my ex-girlfriends who borrowed a bunch of f****** money for school like a bunch of f****** idiots got bailed out by P aye
My high-school girlfriend borrowed like five hundred grand for college and grad school. Big reason we broke up. Now she's a successful dentist. Fuckmylife
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3928013&forum_id=2#35683216) |
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Date: March 25th, 2018 11:57 AM Author: bright market
So if you've been sober for two years what is this program going to do? If the problem is anhedonia etc. there are bizarre things you can try.
Got a job? Kids?
Sorry to hear about your rough turn. Try not to beat yourself up - doesn't help.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3928013&forum_id=2#35683238) |
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Date: March 25th, 2018 12:21 PM Author: bright market
Got it. Well, look, I doubt this program will help all that much on its own merits, but it might be a nice change of pace.
I'd strongly recommend doing cbt or something to help you focus on actionable steps instead of the past. You may have already.
Your complaints are entirely legitimate, and the world unfair, but past is past. Anything you can do to let go and move forward, but without the junk.
I'd consider moving out of state. Also, trying to hire an ethics attorney to smooth things over for you. You need a sweeper.
Next, if you are still trying to do pi, I'd try to hook up with cslg and that crew.
Oh, and learn to meditate ofs
Again, best of luck.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3928013&forum_id=2#35683385) |
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Date: March 25th, 2018 11:57 AM Author: chrome twinkling uncleanness
I haven't used opiates in 2 and 1/2 years.
I'm furious that I was forced to switch to nicotine instead of marijuana after college when I moved to Florida where marijuana used to be super illegal. I did that so I can become a lawyer. I sacrificed my health and my happiness. I love smoking pot. I don't want to be not able to do it anymore. If I move to California maybe things will be better for me
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3928013&forum_id=2#35683237) |
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