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ITT you poast one joke
Poast new message in this thread
Date: April 20th, 2018 7:48 AM Author: jade kitty national I'll start. "I just want a woman who loves me and a good mother for my children and I hope the two never meet." BAM! Funny. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3954580&forum_id=2#35880242) |
Date: April 20th, 2018 7:49 AM Author: Pale nowag address https://www.reuters.com/article/us-russia-post-drone-crash/russian-postal-drone-program-hits-wall-in-debut-idUSKCN1H91B4 (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3954580&forum_id=2#35880248) |
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Date: April 20th, 2018 7:51 AM Author: Big sickened pozpig What did the paraplegic boy who was deaf blind and dumb get for Christmas? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3954580&forum_id=2#35880253) |
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Date: April 20th, 2018 7:53 AM Author: Pale nowag address handjob (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3954580&forum_id=2#35880254) |
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Date: April 20th, 2018 7:53 AM Author: Big sickened pozpig Cancer (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3954580&forum_id=2#35880255) |
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Date: April 20th, 2018 8:02 AM Author: Blathering Institution Gaping I'm a bad lover. Once I caught a peeping tom booing me. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3954580&forum_id=2#35880273) |
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Date: April 20th, 2018 8:34 AM Author: fuchsia stage lol (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3954580&forum_id=2#35880368) |
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Date: April 20th, 2018 10:55 AM Author: maroon idiotic gaming laptop I get no respect, no respect at all! (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3954580&forum_id=2#35881124) |
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Date: April 20th, 2018 8:17 AM Author: dull goal in life A farmer stopped by the local shop to have his tractor repaired. They couldn't do the work while he waited, and so, since he didn't live far from the shop, he decided to walk home.
On the way home, he stopped at the hardware store and bought a bucket and an anvil. He stopped at the feed store/ livestock dealer and picked up a couple of chickens and a goose. However, he had a problem... How to carry his entire purchase home.
The feed store owner said, "Why don't you put the anvil in the bucket, carry the bucket in one hand, put a chicken under each arm and carry the goose in your other hand?" "Hey, thanks!" said the farmer, and out the door he went.
While walking, he was approached by a little old lady who told him she was lost and asked if he could tell her the way to 1603 Mockingbird Lane.
The farmer said "as a matter of fact, I live at 1616 Mockingbird Lane. We can take a shortcut down this alley and be there in no time".
The little old lady looked him over cautiously, and then said, "I am a lonely widow without a husband to defend me. How do I know that when we get in the alley you won't hold me up against the wall, pull up my skirt, and ravish me?"
The farmer said, "Holy smokes lady! I'm carrying a bucket, an anvil, two chickens, and a goose. How in Hell could I possibly hold you up against a wall and do that?"
The lady said, "Set the goose down, cover him with the bucket, put the anvil on top of the bucket, and I'll hold the chickens." |
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Date: April 20th, 2018 8:29 AM Author: flatulent overrated digit ratio The lady was peterman (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3954580&forum_id=2#35880352) |
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Date: April 20th, 2018 8:36 AM Author: dull goal in life lol (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3954580&forum_id=2#35880376) |
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Date: April 20th, 2018 12:39 PM Author: jade kitty national 170. Too long a wait for the punchline. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3954580&forum_id=2#35881770) |
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Date: April 20th, 2018 12:56 PM Author: Umber shaky state lol (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3954580&forum_id=2#35881872) |
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Date: April 20th, 2018 8:34 AM Author: razzle brunch elastic band What did the black kid get on his SAT? Barbecue sauce. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3954580&forum_id=2#35880367) |
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Date: April 20th, 2018 8:58 AM Author: exhilarant antidepressant drug (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3954580&forum_id=2#35880440) |
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Date: April 20th, 2018 10:42 AM Author: henna frisky temple dog poop fucking lol (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3954580&forum_id=2#35881034) |
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Date: April 20th, 2018 12:39 PM Author: jade kitty national 180 (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3954580&forum_id=2#35881766) |
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Date: April 20th, 2018 8:39 AM Author: fuchsia stage So I'm fucking this girl, right? And it's going good, but I decide I want to mix it up, so I flip her over and put my dick in her ass. She turns around, glares at me and says, "Wow, it's really presumptuous of you to think I would just be ok with that."
I said, "Presumptuous? That's a pretty big word for a 10 year old." |
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Date: April 20th, 2018 12:38 PM Author: jade kitty national 155. Kiddie rape jokes just arent funny. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3954580&forum_id=2#35881765) |
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Date: April 20th, 2018 8:53 AM Author: Appetizing useless menage A guy was walking to a bar and on his way he found a girl tied up to the railroad tracks. He untied her and they had sex. Guy gets to the bar, friends ask why he's so late, tells them about the girl he found and all the different positions they fucked in. Friends give him props and ask if he got head, guy replies "I couldn't find it.” (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3954580&forum_id=2#35880427) |
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Date: April 20th, 2018 10:41 AM Author: Pale nowag address (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3954580&forum_id=2#35881011) |
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Date: April 20th, 2018 12:38 PM Author: jade kitty national 180 (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3954580&forum_id=2#35881763) |
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Date: April 20th, 2018 10:58 AM Author: Irate Hell what happened to the jew with a boner who ran into a wall?
he broke his nose |
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Date: April 20th, 2018 12:37 PM Author: jade kitty national 179 (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3954580&forum_id=2#35881762) |
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Date: April 20th, 2018 12:40 PM Author: Aphrodisiac Pearly Field What did the Nazi say to the black Jew?
Get to the back of the oven |
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Date: April 20th, 2018 12:44 PM Author: Aphrodisiac Pearly Field What's the difference between a black man and a pizza?
A pizza can feed a family of four |
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Date: April 20th, 2018 1:03 PM Author: red ticket booth My favorite joke of all time.
3 guys are hiking through the woods when they find a lamp. One of them picks it up, rubs it, and out pops a Genie. It booms "You have finally freed me after all these years, so I'll grant each one of you 3 wishes." The first guy immediately blurts out "I want a billion dollars." POOF, he's holding a printout that shows his account balance is now in fact 1,000,000,003.50 The second man thinks for a bit, then says "I want to be the richest man alive." POOF, he's holding papers showing his net worth is now well over 100 billion. The third guy thinks even longer about his wish, then says "I want my left arm to rotate clockwise for the rest of my life." POOF, his arm starts rotating. The Genie tells them it's time for their second wish. First guy says: "I want to be married to the most beautiful woman on earth." POOF, a stunning beauty wraps herself around his arm. Second guy says "I want to be good-looking and charismatic, so I can have every girl I want." POOF, his looks change and the first guy's wife immediately starts flirting with him. Third guy says "I want my right arm to rotate counter-clockwise until I die." POOF, now both his arms are rotating, in opposite directions. The genie tells them to think very carefully about their third wish. First guy does, and after a while says "I never want to become sick or injured, I want to stay healthy until I die." POOF, his complexion improves, his acne is gone and his knees don't bother him any more. Second guy says "I never want to grow old. I want to stay 29 forever." POOF, he looks younger already. Third guy smiles triumphantly and says "My last wish is for my head to nod back and forth." POOF, he's now nodding his head and still flailing his arms around. The genie wishes them good luck, disappears, and the men soon go their separate ways.
Many years later they meet again and chat about how things have been going. First guy is ecstatic: "I've invested the money and multiplied it many times over, so me and my family will be among the richest of the rich pretty much forever. My wife is a freak in the sheets, and I've never gotten so much as a cold in all these years." Second guy smiles and says "Well, I built charities worldwide with a fraction of my wealth, I'm still the richest guy alive and also revered for my good deeds. I haven't aged a day since we last met, and yes, your wife is pretty wild in bed." Third guy walks in, flailing his arms around and nodding his head, and says:
"Guys, I think I fucked up." |
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Date: April 21st, 2018 1:43 AM Author: razzle-dazzle tanning salon boiling water Women's rights (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3954580&forum_id=2#35886779) |