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ITT you poast one joke

I'll start. "I just want a woman who loves me and a goo...
Bearded university stain
  04/20/18
https://www.reuters.com/article/us-russia-post-drone-crash/r...
peach trip therapy
  04/20/18
What did the paraplegic boy who was deaf blind and dumb get ...
violet pit sound barrier
  04/20/18
handjob
peach trip therapy
  04/20/18
Cancer
violet pit sound barrier
  04/20/18
I'm a bad lover. Once I caught a peeping tom booing me.
Dull dysfunction
  04/20/18
lol
Exhilarant crackhouse affirmative action
  04/20/18
I get no respect, no respect at all!
chrome thirsty headpube
  04/20/18
A farmer stopped by the local shop to have his tractor repai...
rusted casino
  04/20/18
The lady was peterman
Pale mind-boggling multi-billionaire
  04/20/18
lol
rusted casino
  04/20/18
170. Too long a wait for the punchline.
Bearded university stain
  04/20/18
lol
stirring tan office son of senegal
  04/20/18
What did the black kid get on his SAT? Barbecue sauce.
maroon goal in life
  04/20/18
...
fragrant mint new version hell
  04/20/18
fucking lol
alcoholic french chef
  04/20/18
180
Bearded university stain
  04/20/18
So I'm fucking this girl, right? And it's going good, but I ...
Exhilarant crackhouse affirmative action
  04/20/18
155. Kiddie rape jokes just arent funny.
Bearded university stain
  04/20/18
A guy was walking to a bar and on his way he found a girl ti...
motley patrolman
  04/20/18
...
peach trip therapy
  04/20/18
180
Bearded university stain
  04/20/18
what happened to the jew with a boner who ran into a wall? ...
khaki nursing home
  04/20/18
179
Bearded university stain
  04/20/18
What did the Nazi say to the black Jew? Get t...
onyx bateful ceo nowag
  04/20/18
What's the difference between a black man and a pizza? A ...
onyx bateful ceo nowag
  04/20/18
My favorite joke of all time. 3 guys are hiking through ...
Ivory Slippery Really Tough Guy Field
  04/20/18
Women's rights
Fishy Police Squad
  04/21/18


Poast new message in this thread



Reply Favorite

Date: April 20th, 2018 7:48 AM
Author: Bearded university stain

I'll start. "I just want a woman who loves me and a good mother for my children and I hope the two never meet." BAM! Funny.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3954580&forum_id=2#35880242)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 20th, 2018 7:49 AM
Author: peach trip therapy

https://www.reuters.com/article/us-russia-post-drone-crash/russian-postal-drone-program-hits-wall-in-debut-idUSKCN1H91B4

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3954580&forum_id=2#35880248)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 20th, 2018 7:51 AM
Author: violet pit sound barrier

What did the paraplegic boy who was deaf blind and dumb get for Christmas?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3954580&forum_id=2#35880253)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 20th, 2018 7:53 AM
Author: peach trip therapy

handjob

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3954580&forum_id=2#35880254)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 20th, 2018 7:53 AM
Author: violet pit sound barrier

Cancer

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3954580&forum_id=2#35880255)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 20th, 2018 8:02 AM
Author: Dull dysfunction

I'm a bad lover. Once I caught a peeping tom booing me.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3954580&forum_id=2#35880273)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 20th, 2018 8:34 AM
Author: Exhilarant crackhouse affirmative action

lol

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3954580&forum_id=2#35880368)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 20th, 2018 10:55 AM
Author: chrome thirsty headpube

I get no respect, no respect at all!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3954580&forum_id=2#35881124)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 20th, 2018 8:17 AM
Author: rusted casino

A farmer stopped by the local shop to have his tractor repaired. They couldn't do the work while he waited, and so, since he didn't live far from the shop, he decided to walk home.

On the way home, he stopped at the hardware store and bought a bucket and an anvil. He stopped at the feed store/ livestock dealer and picked up a couple of chickens and a goose. However, he had a problem... How to carry his entire purchase home.

The feed store owner said, "Why don't you put the anvil in the bucket, carry the bucket in one hand, put a chicken under each arm and carry the goose in your other hand?" "Hey, thanks!" said the farmer, and out the door he went.

While walking, he was approached by a little old lady who told him she was lost and asked if he could tell her the way to 1603 Mockingbird Lane.

The farmer said "as a matter of fact, I live at 1616 Mockingbird Lane. We can take a shortcut down this alley and be there in no time".

The little old lady looked him over cautiously, and then said, "I am a lonely widow without a husband to defend me. How do I know that when we get in the alley you won't hold me up against the wall, pull up my skirt, and ravish me?"

The farmer said, "Holy smokes lady! I'm carrying a bucket, an anvil, two chickens, and a goose. How in Hell could I possibly hold you up against a wall and do that?"

The lady said, "Set the goose down, cover him with the bucket, put the anvil on top of the bucket, and I'll hold the chickens."

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3954580&forum_id=2#35880314)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 20th, 2018 8:29 AM
Author: Pale mind-boggling multi-billionaire

The lady was peterman

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3954580&forum_id=2#35880352)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 20th, 2018 8:36 AM
Author: rusted casino

lol

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3954580&forum_id=2#35880376)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 20th, 2018 12:39 PM
Author: Bearded university stain

170. Too long a wait for the punchline.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3954580&forum_id=2#35881770)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 20th, 2018 12:56 PM
Author: stirring tan office son of senegal

lol

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3954580&forum_id=2#35881872)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 20th, 2018 8:34 AM
Author: maroon goal in life

What did the black kid get on his SAT? Barbecue sauce.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3954580&forum_id=2#35880367)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 20th, 2018 8:58 AM
Author: fragrant mint new version hell



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3954580&forum_id=2#35880440)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 20th, 2018 10:42 AM
Author: alcoholic french chef

fucking lol

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3954580&forum_id=2#35881034)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 20th, 2018 12:39 PM
Author: Bearded university stain

180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3954580&forum_id=2#35881766)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 20th, 2018 8:39 AM
Author: Exhilarant crackhouse affirmative action

So I'm fucking this girl, right? And it's going good, but I decide I want to mix it up, so I flip her over and put my dick in her ass. She turns around, glares at me and says, "Wow, it's really presumptuous of you to think I would just be ok with that."

I said, "Presumptuous? That's a pretty big word for a 10 year old."

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3954580&forum_id=2#35880386)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 20th, 2018 12:38 PM
Author: Bearded university stain

155. Kiddie rape jokes just arent funny.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3954580&forum_id=2#35881765)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 20th, 2018 8:53 AM
Author: motley patrolman

A guy was walking to a bar and on his way he found a girl tied up to the railroad tracks. He untied her and they had sex. Guy gets to the bar, friends ask why he's so late, tells them about the girl he found and all the different positions they fucked in. Friends give him props and ask if he got head, guy replies "I couldn't find it.”

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3954580&forum_id=2#35880427)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 20th, 2018 10:41 AM
Author: peach trip therapy



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3954580&forum_id=2#35881011)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 20th, 2018 12:38 PM
Author: Bearded university stain

180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3954580&forum_id=2#35881763)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 20th, 2018 10:58 AM
Author: khaki nursing home

what happened to the jew with a boner who ran into a wall?

he broke his nose

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3954580&forum_id=2#35881151)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 20th, 2018 12:37 PM
Author: Bearded university stain

179

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3954580&forum_id=2#35881762)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 20th, 2018 12:40 PM
Author: onyx bateful ceo nowag

What did the Nazi say to the black Jew?

Get to the back of the oven

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3954580&forum_id=2#35881778)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 20th, 2018 12:44 PM
Author: onyx bateful ceo nowag

What's the difference between a black man and a pizza?

A pizza can feed a family of four

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3954580&forum_id=2#35881808)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 20th, 2018 1:03 PM
Author: Ivory Slippery Really Tough Guy Field

My favorite joke of all time.

3 guys are hiking through the woods when they find a lamp.

One of them picks it up, rubs it, and out pops a Genie.

It booms "You have finally freed me after all these years, so I'll grant each one of you 3 wishes." The first guy immediately blurts out "I want a billion dollars." POOF, he's holding a printout that shows his account balance is now in fact 1,000,000,003.50

The second man thinks for a bit, then says "I want to be the richest man alive." POOF, he's holding papers showing his net worth is now well over 100 billion.

The third guy thinks even longer about his wish, then says "I want my left arm to rotate clockwise for the rest of my life." POOF, his arm starts rotating.

The Genie tells them it's time for their second wish.

First guy says: "I want to be married to the most beautiful woman on earth." POOF, a stunning beauty wraps herself around his arm.

Second guy says "I want to be good-looking and charismatic, so I can have every girl I want." POOF, his looks change and the first guy's wife immediately starts flirting with him.

Third guy says "I want my right arm to rotate counter-clockwise until I die." POOF, now both his arms are rotating, in opposite directions.

The genie tells them to think very carefully about their third wish.

First guy does, and after a while says "I never want to become sick or injured, I want to stay healthy until I die." POOF, his complexion improves, his acne is gone and his knees don't bother him any more.

Second guy says "I never want to grow old. I want to stay 29 forever." POOF, he looks younger already.

Third guy smiles triumphantly and says "My last wish is for my head to nod back and forth." POOF, he's now nodding his head and still flailing his arms around.

The genie wishes them good luck, disappears, and the men soon go their separate ways.

Many years later they meet again and chat about how things have been going. First guy is ecstatic: "I've invested the money and multiplied it many times over, so me and my family will be among the richest of the rich pretty much forever. My wife is a freak in the sheets, and I've never gotten so much as a cold in all these years." Second guy smiles and says "Well, I built charities worldwide with a fraction of my wealth, I'm still the richest guy alive and also revered for my good deeds. I haven't aged a day since we last met, and yes, your wife is pretty wild in bed."

Third guy walks in, flailing his arms around and nodding his head, and says:

"Guys, I think I fucked up."

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3954580&forum_id=2#35881921)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 21st, 2018 1:43 AM
Author: Fishy Police Squad

Women's rights

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3954580&forum_id=2#35886779)