"Let's get started without them..."

*they join ten minutes later*

"Oh, hi guys!"

*five minutes of smaltalk, same ten minute conversation again*

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3954610&forum_id=2#35880472)

"I have to drop early for another call-- can we schedule another time for this?"

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3954610&forum_id=2#35880487)

*injects heroin*

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3954610&forum_id=2#35880488)

Well, Cheryl hasn't seen him. He might be arriving late from his 10 o'clock. Why don't we just proceed without him? I--"

"Hello everyone, this is Brett Anderson, sorry I'm late."

"It's okay Brett, I just put Cheryl on your trail so don't be surprised if she knocks on your door."

"Hey Marty. I'm actually not in the office today."

"Didn't you have a 10 o'clock with Lee?"

"Yeah but that's a remote one."

"Oh it is? I thought Lee was in today."

"No Lee's in Stamford."

"Oh that's right, the conference."

"Yup."

"I got it, I see. Okay, well, anyway, looks like we have a full complement. Should we get started? I think--"

"--h, hey Marty?"

"--Yeah?"

"I actually was gonna try to pull Tony in."

"Oh, good point, yeah, Tony might want to be around for this."

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3954610&forum_id=2#35881128)

*rest of group nervously laughs*

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3954610&forum_id=2#35881219)

*rainmaker cutting in* "Shut the fuck up Jerry."

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3954610&forum_id=2#35881231)

*sound of thick saliva being swallowed in mouth*

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3954610&forum_id=2#35881243)

*the mortgage payment coupon sits atop his desk, glaring at him*

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3954610&forum_id=2#35881271)

"Umm could whoever is typing please go on mute. Thanks."

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3954610&forum_id=2#35881267)

{under the midlevel's breath} "Fuck you Jenny. Fuck you."

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3954610&forum_id=2#35881293)

{3000 miles away, a lance of V-22s in formation suddenly ascend into view from the high-floor Arpsitorium conference room then disappear again as they make their way to the firm's roof}

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3954610&forum_id=2#35881372)

"Ok, that's very A E S T H E T I C but please, go on mute."

"Nah, turn that up."

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3954610&forum_id=2#35881349)

"Yes that caused some challenges on our end as well."

"When did you guys move to 365."

"Jill when was that, last November"

"I think that's right"

"And its going well now?"

"Yep, going well now. Some cool new functionalities"

"Great to hear. Let's just wait a bit longer here."

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3954610&forum_id=2#35881369)

"Salt Lake, mind if you mute?"

*silence*

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3954610&forum_id=2#35881505)

"LINE IS OPEN -- Mtg to level set due diligence and purchase agreement -- Dial in 123-456 Code: 12121234531234521"

Email response:

"Sorry, what's the dial in? Number is missing."

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3954610&forum_id=2#35881531)

Always take pleasure when the person speaking sighs quietly and soldiers on without acknowledging the bitch.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3954610&forum_id=2#35881891)

*Beep*

"Hi, did someone just join?"

*silence*

"Anywa.."

"I think someone dropped off"

"Anyways, if you look at figure..."

*Beep*

"Hi, did someone just join?"

"Hey, sorry, it's steve, I got disconnected"

"Oh, haha, hey Steve, we were just looking at figure 3, it seems to..."

*beep*

"Hi, did someone just join?"

*Silence*

"I don't think that was a beep"

"Ok, so anyways, figure 3 suggest that..."

"Sor-"

"the trend is - oh, yes?"

"Sorry, you don't seem to be presenting any more, anyone else having this issue?"

"No, it's fine"

"I still see it"

"It's fine for me"

"Ok, just me then, I'll reconnect. Dropping off"

"K, no problem. Anyways, let's--"

*Beep*

"Let's turn to figure 3"

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3954610&forum_id=2#35885462)

"Is everything okay?"

*vomiting continues*

"Hey, it sounds like--it sounds like someone is getting sick. Is everything okay?"

*last chunks of vomit being expelled; the plopping reverb of their drops into the porcelain god echoing on the open line*

'Yeah. {hacking clearing of throat} Sorry guys. It's--it's Jerry. My bad. Keep the discussion going. We really seemed to be building momentum.'

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3954610&forum_id=2#36159528)

*horrified silence on other lines*

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3954610&forum_id=2#36159558)