GQ declares 21 novels you dont need ro read. Spoiler alert: all by white males
| Buck-toothed contagious corner hunting ground | 04/20/18 | | garnet school personal credit line | 04/20/18 | | Buck-toothed contagious corner hunting ground | 04/20/18 | | ungodly indian lodge death wish | 04/20/18 | | Violet cruel-hearted dog poop | 04/21/18 | | underhanded kitchen deer antler | 04/21/18 | | bearded wild trailer park | 04/20/18 | | garnet school personal credit line | 04/20/18 | | exciting adulterous depressive water buffalo | 04/20/18 | | very tactful patrolman | 04/20/18 | | Zippy lay | 04/20/18 | | slate crackhouse | 04/20/18 | | ungodly indian lodge death wish | 04/20/18 | | Amber theater stage | 04/20/18 | | thriller transparent pocket flask | 04/20/18 | | infuriating cobalt blood rage | 04/20/18 | | Misunderstood Ticket Booth Trump Supporter | 04/21/18 | | Snowy theatre kitty cat | 04/21/18 | | histrionic bossy useless brakes | 04/21/18 | | cerebral ebony stage | 04/21/18 | | federal native | 04/21/18 | | Medicated Flirting Boltzmann Public Bath | 04/21/18 | | flushed hairraiser pervert wagecucks | 05/03/18 | | Heady rough-skinned idea he suggested puppy | 04/20/18 | | garnet school personal credit line | 04/20/18 | | burgundy erotic senate boiling water | 04/21/18 | | Violet cruel-hearted dog poop | 04/21/18 | | Passionate cuckoldry scourge upon the earth | 04/21/18 | | Swollen space party of the first part | 11/03/18 | | Swollen space party of the first part | 11/03/18 | | Racy nursing home jap | 04/20/18 | | nighttime love of her life orchestra pit | 04/20/18 | | Buck-toothed contagious corner hunting ground | 04/20/18 | | Buck-toothed contagious corner hunting ground | 04/20/18 | | Passionate cuckoldry scourge upon the earth | 04/21/18 | | Vivacious dull center antidepressant drug | 04/20/18 | | Pontificating National Security Agency Knife | 04/20/18 | | Crusty Keepsake Machete | 04/20/18 | | Heady rough-skinned idea he suggested puppy | 04/20/18 | | garnet school personal credit line | 04/20/18 | | Glittery Associate Community Account | 04/21/18 | | exciting adulterous depressive water buffalo | 04/20/18 | | Crusty Keepsake Machete | 04/20/18 | | thriller transparent pocket flask | 04/20/18 | | walnut mind-boggling halford plaza | 04/20/18 | | Violet cruel-hearted dog poop | 04/21/18 | | Chocolate misanthropic alpha | 04/21/18 | | Brilliant impressive range coffee pot | 04/21/18 | | Racy nursing home jap | 04/20/18 | | useless box office electric furnace | 04/21/18 | | Glittery Associate Community Account | 04/21/18 | | apoplectic parlour macaca | 04/21/18 | | bearded wild trailer park | 04/20/18 | | nighttime love of her life orchestra pit | 04/20/18 | | Racy nursing home jap | 04/20/18 | | Swollen space party of the first part | 04/20/18 | | very tactful patrolman | 04/20/18 | | garnet school personal credit line | 04/20/18 | | Pontificating National Security Agency Knife | 04/20/18 | | Rambunctious Mad Cow Disease Station | 04/20/18 | | Chocolate misanthropic alpha | 04/21/18 | | Cerise Provocative Pozpig Temple | 04/22/18 | | Racy nursing home jap | 04/20/18 | | arousing sick doctorate weed whacker | 04/20/18 | | duck-like impertinent legal warrant fanboi | 04/20/18 | | Buck-toothed contagious corner hunting ground | 04/20/18 | | duck-like impertinent legal warrant fanboi | 04/20/18 | | Pontificating National Security Agency Knife | 04/20/18 | | Passionate cuckoldry scourge upon the earth | 04/21/18 | | Startling Alcoholic Stock Car | 04/21/18 | | Know-it-all cordovan church building | 04/21/18 | | Green Ratface Half-breed | 04/20/18 | | mauve location | 04/20/18 | | bearded wild trailer park | 04/20/18 | | useless box office electric furnace | 04/21/18 | | Glittery Associate Community Account | 04/21/18 | | garnet school personal credit line | 04/20/18 | | very tactful patrolman | 04/20/18 | | cracking shivering parlor | 04/21/18 | | mauve location | 04/20/18 | | Heady rough-skinned idea he suggested puppy | 04/20/18 | | Buck-toothed contagious corner hunting ground | 04/20/18 | | Racy nursing home jap | 04/20/18 | | Heady rough-skinned idea he suggested puppy | 04/20/18 | | Pontificating National Security Agency Knife | 04/20/18 | | Pontificating National Security Agency Knife | 04/20/18 | | Buck-toothed contagious corner hunting ground | 04/20/18 | | garnet school personal credit line | 04/20/18 | | crawly wonderful locus | 04/20/18 | | Amber theater stage | 04/20/18 | | histrionic bossy useless brakes | 04/20/18 | | useless box office electric furnace | 04/21/18 | | Startling Alcoholic Stock Car | 04/21/18 | | Brilliant impressive range coffee pot | 04/21/18 | | irradiated azn | 04/21/18 | | Green Ratface Half-breed | 04/20/18 | | garnet school personal credit line | 04/20/18 | | Racy nursing home jap | 04/20/18 | | walnut mind-boggling halford plaza | 04/20/18 | | fiercely-loyal church | 04/21/18 | | ungodly indian lodge death wish | 04/20/18 | | blue razzle toaster | 04/21/18 | | Violet cruel-hearted dog poop | 04/21/18 | | indigo indecent stage filthpig | 04/21/18 | | swashbuckling gay university jew | 04/21/18 | | disrespectful lascivious piazza pisswyrm | 04/21/18 | | Glittery Associate Community Account | 04/21/18 | | Orange Meetinghouse Hissy Fit | 04/21/18 | | Buck-toothed contagious corner hunting ground | 04/20/18 | | balding curious base twinkling uncleanness | 04/20/18 | | garnet school personal credit line | 04/20/18 | | histrionic bossy useless brakes | 04/20/18 | | nudist talking sweet tailpipe hairy legs | 04/20/18 | | burgundy erotic senate boiling water | 04/21/18 | | Glittery Associate Community Account | 04/21/18 | | Glittery Associate Community Account | 04/21/18 | | Buck-toothed contagious corner hunting ground | 04/21/18 | | Glittery Associate Community Account | 04/21/18 | | Chocolate misanthropic alpha | 04/21/18 | | disrespectful lascivious piazza pisswyrm | 04/21/18 | | odious genital piercing | 04/30/18 | | crawly wonderful locus | 04/20/18 | | Stimulating mental disorder | 04/21/18 | | balding curious base twinkling uncleanness | 04/20/18 | | red autistic abode ceo | 04/20/18 | | Buck-toothed contagious corner hunting ground | 04/20/18 | | red autistic abode ceo | 04/20/18 | | Buck-toothed contagious corner hunting ground | 04/20/18 | | walnut mind-boggling halford plaza | 04/20/18 | | burgundy erotic senate boiling water | 04/21/18 | | cracking shivering parlor | 04/21/18 | | Startling Alcoholic Stock Car | 04/21/18 | | Crusty Keepsake Machete | 04/20/18 | | ungodly indian lodge death wish | 04/20/18 | | Startling Alcoholic Stock Car | 04/21/18 | | Zippy lay | 04/20/18 | | Rambunctious Mad Cow Disease Station | 04/20/18 | | infuriating cobalt blood rage | 04/20/18 | | Glittery Associate Community Account | 04/21/18 | | Brilliant impressive range coffee pot | 04/21/18 | | crawly wonderful locus | 04/20/18 | | Boyish Potus Step-uncle's House | 04/21/18 | | Cerise Provocative Pozpig Temple | 04/22/18 | | Bronze Crotch | 04/20/18 | | Crusty Keepsake Machete | 04/20/18 | | titillating bbw hell | 04/21/18 | | Glittery Associate Community Account | 04/21/18 | | burgundy erotic senate boiling water | 04/21/18 | | Magenta gaming laptop | 04/21/18 | | Passionate cuckoldry scourge upon the earth | 04/21/18 | | Startling Alcoholic Stock Car | 04/21/18 | | Medicated Flirting Boltzmann Public Bath | 04/21/18 | | fiercely-loyal church | 04/21/18 | | Know-it-all cordovan church building | 04/21/18 | | infuriating cobalt blood rage | 04/30/18 | | Diverse Rehab | 04/20/18 | | Pontificating National Security Agency Knife | 04/20/18 | | garnet school personal credit line | 04/20/18 | | garnet school personal credit line | 04/20/18 | | ungodly indian lodge death wish | 04/20/18 | | swashbuckling gay university jew | 04/21/18 | | Startling Alcoholic Stock Car | 04/21/18 | | Heady rough-skinned idea he suggested puppy | 04/20/18 | | Grizzly gunner | 04/20/18 | | arousing sick doctorate weed whacker | 04/20/18 | | garnet school personal credit line | 04/20/18 | | blue razzle toaster | 04/20/18 | | nighttime love of her life orchestra pit | 04/20/18 | | Heady rough-skinned idea he suggested puppy | 04/20/18 | | Spectacular bat shit crazy milk incel | 04/21/18 | | Chocolate misanthropic alpha | 04/22/18 | | Passionate cuckoldry scourge upon the earth | 04/21/18 | | infuriating cobalt blood rage | 04/20/18 | | Pontificating National Security Agency Knife | 04/20/18 | | infuriating cobalt blood rage | 04/20/18 | | slimy puce internal respiration principal's office | 04/20/18 | | Pontificating National Security Agency Knife | 04/20/18 | | slimy puce internal respiration principal's office | 04/21/18 | | Glittery Associate Community Account | 04/21/18 | | blue razzle toaster | 04/20/18 | | infuriating cobalt blood rage | 04/20/18 | | Rambunctious Mad Cow Disease Station | 04/21/18 | | infuriating cobalt blood rage | 04/20/18 | | Passionate cuckoldry scourge upon the earth | 04/21/18 | | jade vibrant marketing idea school cafeteria | 04/20/18 | | infuriating cobalt blood rage | 04/20/18 | | Heady rough-skinned idea he suggested puppy | 04/20/18 | | Rambunctious Mad Cow Disease Station | 04/20/18 | | very tactful patrolman | 04/21/18 | | Emerald shrine karate | 04/20/18 | | infuriating cobalt blood rage | 04/20/18 | | burgundy erotic senate boiling water | 04/21/18 | | bearded wild trailer park | 04/20/18 | | Smoky point stain | 04/21/18 | | Glittery Associate Community Account | 04/21/18 | | Dashing mint heaven circlehead | 04/21/18 | | Glittery Associate Community Account | 04/21/18 | | Glittery Associate Community Account | 04/21/18 | | useless box office electric furnace | 04/21/18 | | blue razzle toaster | 04/21/18 | | out-of-control sanctuary multi-billionaire | 04/21/18 | | balding curious base twinkling uncleanness | 04/21/18 | | nighttime love of her life orchestra pit | 04/21/18 | | mustard den juggernaut | 04/21/18 | | nighttime love of her life orchestra pit | 04/21/18 | | mustard den juggernaut | 04/21/18 | | Hilarious property | 04/21/18 | | Chocolate misanthropic alpha | 04/21/18 | | cracking shivering parlor | 04/21/18 | | Hilarious property | 04/21/18 | | nighttime love of her life orchestra pit | 04/21/18 | | Adventurous navy headpube rigor | 04/21/18 | | histrionic bossy useless brakes | 04/21/18 | | Brilliant impressive range coffee pot | 04/21/18 | | histrionic bossy useless brakes | 04/21/18 | | hideous tanning salon therapy | 04/21/18 | | mustard den juggernaut | 04/21/18 | | fiercely-loyal church | 04/21/18 | | charismatic soggy home | 04/21/18 | | histrionic bossy useless brakes | 04/21/18 | | Aromatic Massive Theater | 04/21/18 | | Spectacular bat shit crazy milk incel | 04/21/18 | | avocado aphrodisiac mediation pit | 04/21/18 | | balding curious base twinkling uncleanness | 04/21/18 | | Slap-happy national | 04/21/18 | | Passionate cuckoldry scourge upon the earth | 04/21/18 | | charismatic soggy home | 04/21/18 | | nighttime love of her life orchestra pit | 04/21/18 | | charismatic soggy home | 04/21/18 | | nighttime love of her life orchestra pit | 04/21/18 | | red autistic abode ceo | 04/21/18 | | garnet school personal credit line | 04/21/18 | | Racy nursing home jap | 04/21/18 | | free-loading striped hyena fat ankles | 04/21/18 | | Snowy theatre kitty cat | 04/21/18 | | charismatic soggy home | 04/21/18 | | Racy nursing home jap | 04/21/18 | | walnut mind-boggling halford plaza | 04/21/18 | | balding curious base twinkling uncleanness | 04/21/18 | | Snowy theatre kitty cat | 04/21/18 | | Diverse Rehab | 04/21/18 | | Magenta gaming laptop | 04/21/18 | | Startling Alcoholic Stock Car | 04/21/18 | | red autistic abode ceo | 04/21/18 | | Snowy theatre kitty cat | 04/21/18 | | Passionate cuckoldry scourge upon the earth | 04/21/18 | | Buck-toothed contagious corner hunting ground | 04/21/18 | | Startling Alcoholic Stock Car | 04/21/18 | | walnut mind-boggling halford plaza | 04/21/18 | | charismatic soggy home | 04/21/18 | | fantasy-prone telephone | 04/21/18 | | charismatic soggy home | 04/21/18 | | balding curious base twinkling uncleanness | 04/21/18 | | Startling Alcoholic Stock Car | 04/21/18 | | Snowy theatre kitty cat | 04/21/18 | | garnet school personal credit line | 04/21/18 | | charismatic soggy home | 04/21/18 | | Brilliant impressive range coffee pot | 04/21/18 | | charismatic soggy home | 04/21/18 | | Brilliant impressive range coffee pot | 04/21/18 | | free-loading striped hyena fat ankles | 04/21/18 | | charismatic soggy home | 04/21/18 | | Snowy theatre kitty cat | 04/21/18 | | walnut mind-boggling halford plaza | 04/21/18 | | charismatic soggy home | 04/21/18 | | Snowy theatre kitty cat | 04/21/18 | | Orange Meetinghouse Hissy Fit | 04/21/18 | | bright geriatric set | 04/21/18 | | Spectacular bat shit crazy milk incel | 04/21/18 | | garnet school personal credit line | 04/21/18 | | Saffron garrison | 04/21/18 | | Startling Alcoholic Stock Car | 04/21/18 | | Chocolate misanthropic alpha | 04/22/18 | | Orange Meetinghouse Hissy Fit | 04/21/18 | | red autistic abode ceo | 04/21/18 | | Snowy theatre kitty cat | 04/21/18 | | balding curious base twinkling uncleanness | 04/21/18 | | Orange Meetinghouse Hissy Fit | 04/21/18 | | Medicated Flirting Boltzmann Public Bath | 04/21/18 | | galvanic chartreuse corn cake | 04/30/18 | | Saffron garrison | 04/21/18 | | Crusty Keepsake Machete | 04/21/18 | | Marvelous Sepia Institution People Who Are Hurt | 04/21/18 | | Startling Alcoholic Stock Car | 04/21/18 | | Know-it-all cordovan church building | 04/21/18 | | Startling Alcoholic Stock Car | 04/22/18 | | indigo indecent stage filthpig | 04/21/18 | | pungent chapel | 04/21/18 | | infuriating cobalt blood rage | 04/27/18 | | Laughsome copper laser beams nibblets | 04/27/18 | | chrome round eye | 04/27/18 | | balding curious base twinkling uncleanness | 11/03/18 |
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Date: April 20th, 2018 10:42 PM Author: Buck-toothed contagious corner hunting ground
21 Books You Don’t Have to Read
Books
21 Books You Don’t Have to Read
Photograph by Ryan Segedi
Photo of The Editors of GQ
BY THE EDITORS OF GQ
1 day ago
And 21 you should read instead (technically 20 books—Adventures of Huckleberry Finn did not fare well).
We've been told all our lives that we can only call ourselves well-read once we've read the Great Books. We tried. We got halfway through Infinite Jest and halfway through the SparkNotes on Finnegans Wake. But a few pages into Bleak House, we realized that not all the Great Books have aged well. Some are racist and some are sexist, but most are just really, really boring. So we—and a group of un-boring writers—give you permission to strike these books from the canon. Here's what you should read instead.
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1. Lonesome Dove by Larry McMurtry
Instead: The Mountain Lion by Jean Stafford
I actually love Lonesome Dove, but I'm convinced that the cowboy mythos, with its rigid masculine emotional landscape, glorification of guns and destruction, and misogynistic gender roles, is a major factor in the degradation of America. Rather than perpetuate this myth, I'd love for everyone, but particularly American men, to read The Mountain Lion by Jean Stafford. It's a wicked, brilliant, dark book set largely on a ranch in Colorado, but it acts in many ways as a strong rebuttal to all the old toxic western stereotypes we all need to explode. —Lauren Groff, 'Florida'
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2. The Catcher in the Rye by J. D. Salinger
Instead: Olivia: A Novel by Dorothy Strachey
I have never been able to fathom why The Catcher in the Rye is such a canonical novel. I read it because everyone else in school was reading it but thought it was totally silly. Now, looking back, I find that it is without any literary merit whatsoever. Why waste adolescents' time? Alternatively, I'd suggest Olivia, the story of a British teenage girl who is sent to a boarding school in France. It is short and written in a kind of levelheaded and deceptively straightforward style. Olivia eventually falls in love with her teacher Mademoiselle Julie T, who in turn, and without reciprocating that love out loud, is equally in love with Olivia. Julie never takes a wrong step, but there are signs for those who know how to read them. I read Olivia many, many times, bought it for many of my friends, and consider it the inspiration for Call Me by Your Name. —André Aciman, 'Call Me by Your Name'
3. Goodbye to All That by Robert Graves
Instead: Dispatches by Michael Herr
Goodbye to All That, the autobiographical account of Graves's time in the trenches during World War I, is entertaining and enlightening. It's also incredibly racist. Graves includes samples of near unintelligible essays produced by three of his students (“Mahmoud Mohammed Mahmoud,” “Mohammed Mahmoud Mohammed,” and “Mahmoud Mahmoud Mohammed”) from his postwar stint as an English instructor in Cairo. The joke is twofold—all these silly natives have similar-sounding names, and they lack the basic intellectual capacity to grapple with the literature. A better option is Dispatches by Michael Herr. It concerns a different time, country, and war, but this is still, in my mind, the most indispensable personal account of the cruelty and violence of modern warfare. —Omar El Akkad, 'American War'
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21 Books You Don’t Have to Read
4. The Old Man and the Sea by Ernest Hemingway
Instead: The Summer Book by Tove Jansson
My father loved The Old Man and the Sea, so I tried to love it. It left me unmoved. Mostly, I kept hoping the fish would get away without too much damage. (When my grandpa pushed me to catch a trout at a fish farm, I threw the rod into the pond.) I'd rather read Tove Jansson's The Summer Book. This series of vignettes about a grandmother and granddaughter living on a remote Finnish island is not just heartwarming: In its views of both Nature and human nature, it teaches us what it is to be in sync with the world. All of Jansson's adult fiction is deeply humane and beautiful. —Jeff VanderMeer, 'Annihilation'
5. The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho
Instead: Near to the Wild Heart by Clarice Lispector
Somehow, even at 208 pages, The Alchemist is 207 pages too long. A dude wanders the desert, trying to uncover his Personal Legend (capitalized as such throughout the book) while meeting people who speak in the inane aphorisms of a throw pillow: “Remember that wherever your heart is, there you will find your treasure.” If you're after a book of existential meandering by a Brazilian author, pick up the similarly slim Near to the Wild Heart by Clarice Lispector. Unlike the entitled desert wandering of The Alchemist, Wild Heart's contemplations are inward and complex. For Lispector, there aren't easy answers—and her universe sure as hell is not interested in your hopes and dreams. —Kevin Nguyen, GQ senior editor
6. A Farewell to Arms by Ernest Hemingway
Instead: The Great Fire by Shirley Hazzard
Hemingway's novels—with their masculine bluster and clipped sentences—sometimes feel almost parodic to me. If you want to read about the intersection of love and war, Hemingway's subjects in A Farewell to Arms, consider Shirley Hazzard's The Great Fire, about the fallout of the Second World War. Though it was published in 2003, the book feels both contemporaneous with that period and wholly contemporary. Hazzard just writes so damn well, every sentence a gem.
—Rumaan Alam, 'That Kind of Mother'
7. Blood Meridian by Cormac McCarthy
Instead: The Sisters Brothers by Patrick deWitt
I'm a great admirer of Cormac McCarthy's sparer masterpieces, but I'm ambivalent about Blood Meridian, the historical epic often cited as his greatest work. Set in the Old West and written in an impenetrable style that combines Faulkner and the King James Bible, Blood Meridian is a big, forbidding book that earns the reader bragging rights but provides scant pleasure. If you're looking for a more human-scaled, emotionally engaging novel set in the same time period, I'd recommend The Sisters Brothers by Patrick deWitt. It's a dark, funny, brutal Western about a pair of hired killers, at least one of whom has a conscience. It covers some of the same ground as Blood Meridian and has a lot more fun along the way. —Tom Perrotta, 'Mrs. Fletcher'
8. John Adams by David McCullough
Instead: Destiny of the Republic: A Tale of Madness, Medicine and the Murder of a President by Candice Millard
David McCullough is one of our foremost historians, and his books are written with great care and impressive attention to detail. They also happen to be the driest, boringest tomes you'll ever sludge through. One time I read his book about the history of the Panama Canal, and it required about as much sweat and labor as it took to build the actual canal. For some kick-ass history, read Destiny of the Republic, about the assassination of President Garfield, the doctors who tried to save him but actually ended up killing him, and the frantic attempt by a deranged Alexander Graham Bell to invent a machine to find the bullet located in the president's body. All in a relatively tidy 339 pages. At no point will you feel like there's a test at the end. —Drew Magary, GQ contributor
9 & 10. Adventures of Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain
Instead: Narrative of the Life of Frederick Douglass, an American Slave by Fredrick Douglass
The worst crime committed by Adventures of Huckleberry Finn is that it makes first-time Twain readers think Twain wrote tedious, meandering stories. He did, as is evidenced by this, his book of tedious, meandering stories—but he also wrote a lot of richly entertaining meandering stories that are not constrained by the ham-fisted narration of a fictional backcountry child or suffused with his sweaty imitation of a slave talking. Alternatively, read Frederick Douglass's firsthand account of slavery, which is equal parts shocking and heartbreaking. It's also an invigorating revenge story: Douglass identifies slave owners by name and hometown, detailing their crimes with such specificity that their descendants will be embarrassed forever. While Jim, the affable slave friend of Huck Finn, exclaims things like “Lawsy, I's mighty glad…,” Frederick Douglass makes observations like “I love the pure, peaceable, and impartial Christianity of Christ: I therefore hate the corrupt, slaveholding, women-whipping, cradle-plundering, partial and hypocritical Christianity of this land.” You were saying, Mr. Twain? —Caity Weaver, GQ writer and editor
Instead: The Adventures and Misadventures of Maqroll by Alvaro Mutis
Mark Twain was a racist. Just read Adventures of Huckleberry Finn. He was a man of his time, so let's leave him there. We don't need him. If you want adventure, or misadventure, read The Adventures and Misadventures of Maqroll, by Alvaro Mutis. It's one of my favorite books: sad, poetic, philosophical, and funny, with some of the best writing I've read. —Tommy Orange, 'There There'
11. The Ambassadors by Henry James
Instead: The Rise and Fall of the Third Reich by William L. Shirer
Several people described The Ambassadors by Henry James in such a way as to make me impatient to read it, but between those descriptions and my experience of the book lay a chasm of such yawningness that it will never be crossed. Alternatively, I recommend The Rise and Fall of the Third Reich by William L. Shirer. I suspect that contemporary readers feel no great urge to pick it up because—in a way that doesn't happen with fiction—it has been rendered somewhat obsolete by more recent books on the subject. It's actually still as gripping as any literary classic. —Geoff Dyer, 'White Sands'
12. The Bible
Instead: The Notebook by Agota Kristof
The Holy Bible is rated very highly by all the people who supposedly live by it but who in actuality have not read it. Those who have read it know there are some good parts, but overall it is certainly not the finest thing that man has ever produced. It is repetitive, self-contradictory, sententious, foolish, and even at times ill-intentioned. If the thing you heard was good about the Bible was the nasty bits, then I propose Agota Kristof's The Notebook, a marvelous tale of two brothers who have to get along when things get rough. The subtlety and cruelty of this story is like that famous sword stroke (from below the boat) that plunged upward through the bowels, the lungs, and the throat and into the brain of the rower. —Jesse Ball, 'Census'
13. Franny and Zooey by J. D. Salinger
Instead: Death Comes for the Archbishop by Willa Cather
I loved all of Salinger's books when I was young, but now I feel that they're shallow. It's not that Salinger isn't a very accomplished writer, but there's a sort of slick, brittle, midcentury veneer to his work. It's very polished and not very profound. With Franny and Zooey, there's some Buddhist-y stuff in there, and there's stuff about being disenchanted and the real world around you seeming fake, but is that really profound? Instead I'd recommend a hidden gem, Cather's Death Comes for the Archbishop. Cather is a beautiful writer. She's very unfashionable, and I love that about her. Death Comes for the Archbishop is about a priest in what I'm pretty sure is Santa Fe. And it's incredibly calm and contemplative and open. It's the opposite of the kind of glossy, slick New York narrative. When you read it, it's like having a spiritual experience. It's not too long, and it's not effortful. —Claire Messud, 'The Burning Girl'
14. The Lord of the Rings by J. R. R. Tolkien
Instead: Earthsea Series by Ursula K. Le Guin
I liked The Hobbit. A lot. But while Tolkien's Lord of the Rings books are influential as exercises in world building, as novels they are barely readable. It never seemed to me that Tolkien cared about his story as much as he cared about rendering, in minute detail, the world he built. Why not instead read Ursula K. Le Guin's magnificent (and as beautifully rendered) stories and novels surrounding Earthsea? Le Guin captures the world of Earthsea through a powerful, dark, gorgeous kind of storytelling that is irresistible. Perhaps Le Guin's work—along with an entire universe of fantasy fiction—wouldn't have been possible without Tolkien's influence behind it, but in its time, Le Guin's books are more influential and make for better reading. —Manuel Gonzales, 'The Regional Office Is Under Attack!'
15. Dracula by Bram Stoker
Instead: Angels by Denis Johnson
Gothic-horror classics like Dracula and Frankenstein always leave me cold. If you want to read a truly terrifying literary gem, try Johnson's Angels. It unspools as a sort of nightmare that begins on a Greyhound bus. Poor Jamie grew up in West Virginia and leaves her abusive husband back in their trailer when she runs off with her two small children. On that fateful Greyhound bus she meets Bill Houston, who's done everything bad except kill someone, although by the end of the book he will have done it all. —Matthew Klam, 'Who Is Rich?'
16. Catch-22 by Joseph Heller
Instead: The American Granddaughter by Inaam Kachachi
I never could get into Joseph Heller's Catch-22. It fails to capture the absurdities and impossible conflicts of war. However, one of the most arresting novels I've read about war is Kachachi's The American Granddaughter. Set at the beginning of the Iraq war, this book tells the story of Zeina, an Iraqi-American who signs up to be an interpreter for the U.S. Army and finds herself stationed in her hometown of Baghdad, where she must hide her work from her formidable grandmother. What follows is a thoughtful, nuanced, and often uproariously funny meditation on war in the 21st century. —Emily Robbins, 'A Word for Love'
17. Life by Keith Richards
Instead: The Worst Journey in the World by Apsley Cherry-Garrard
I've nodded along—or maybe plain lied in agreement—when people extol Keith Richards's memoir, Life. Richards's cockiness and conceit about the wrong things jars; it's a book that somehow makes me sympathize with Mick Jagger. I'd rather read The Worst Journey in the World, a memoir in which the author spends no time at all trying to convince the reader of his own greatness. Quite the opposite. In 1910, a 24-year-old Cherry-Garrard joined a British expedition to the South Pole. As the title of his book hints, it didn't go well. Their leader, Captain Scott, was beaten to the Pole by a Norwegian explorer, and those who reached the Pole died on their return. Keith Richards suddenly looks very petty. —Chris Heath, GQ correspondent
18. Freedom by Jonathan Franzen
Instead: Too Loud a Solitude by Bohumil Hrabal
Freedom is intolerably boring. The risks of frustration and asphyxiation while reading in bed are equally high with this huge, much vaunted American über-tome. But freedom is at the heart of this tiny Czech novel, Too Loud a Solitude. In around a hundred pages, it tells the story of Hanta, who has found wisdom in his job, compressing paper and books in a totalitarian state. The jokes are funny, and the stories lead us to ever richer revelations. The book is over almost before it has begun. —Richard Flanagan, 'The Narrow Road to the Deep North'
19. Gravity's Rainbow by Thomas Pynchon
Instead: Inherent Vice by Thomas Pynchon
When young Thomas Pynchon was writing Gravity's Rainbow, he was fixated on the Big Things (punishingly boring and confusing things) of a Big World War II Novel that would announce him as a Big American Writer in 1973. Fortunately for us, nearly four decades later he brought us his recollections of everything else that was swirling around him back then. The world Pynchon conjures in Inherent Vice (published in 2009) is the world he himself was living in while writing Gravity's Rainbow, when he was shacked up in a small apartment in the real-life Gordita Beach. Inherent Vice is where you should start if you want to dine on a small plate of Pynchon's stuff instead of a potluck platter. —Daniel Riley, GQ features editor
20. Slaughterhouse-Five by Kurt Vonnegut
Instead: Veronica by Mary Gaitskill
When men on dating apps list a book, they invariably list Slaughterhouse-Five. I'd rather not get a drink with a person who's taking his cues from Vonnegut: The few women in Slaughterhouse-Five die early, are porn stars, or are “bitchy flibbertigibbets.” Instead, read Gaitskill's Veronica, in which emotions are so present and sensory they almost hold a physical weight. Gaitskill understands how you can sense a loved one's mood radiating from the next room as clearly as rain out the window. This empathy drives her characters closer to cruelty than to kindness. —Nadja Spiegelman, 'I'm Supposed to Protect You from All This'
21. Gulliver’s Travels by Jonathan Swift
Instead: The Life and Opinions of Tristram Shandy, Gentleman by Laurence Sterne
Why Swift's dreary satire is routinely inflicted on high school English classes is a mystery to me. Tristram Shandy at least has the virtue of occasionally being funny. It's also deeply weird: postmodern 200 years before postmodernism, with a deeply unreliable narrator, typographic trickery (a death early in the book is followed by a solid-black page), and a list of character names that would make Pynchon jealous (Dr. Slop, Billy Le Fever, and a certain Hafen Slawkenbergius). It is an important achievement in the history of the novel, a reminder that literature is an ongoing experiment—which means you should treat it like Don Quixote and read the first half before calling it a day. One can admire the pyramids without feeling the need to scale them. —Christopher Cox, GQ executive editor
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This story originally appeared in the May 2018 issue with the title "21 Books You Don't Have to Read Before You Die"
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21 Mixed-Race Historical Figures You Thought Were White
21 Mixed-Race Historical Figures You Thought Were White
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3955424&forum_id=2#35886019)
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Date: April 21st, 2018 2:19 AM Author: Glittery Associate Community Account
While Jim, the affable slave friend of Huck Finn, exclaims things like “Lawsy, I's mighty glad…,” Frederick Douglass makes observations like “I love the pure, peaceable, and impartial Christianity of Christ: I therefore hate the corrupt, slaveholding, women-whipping, cradle-plundering, partial and hypocritical Christianity of this land.” You were saying, Mr. Twain?
Ohhhhhhh! She got Twain good! These people are literally delusional - she's implying that just because the book didn't focus on the horrors of slavery that Twain is denying those horrors existed.....
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3955424&forum_id=2#35886862) |
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Date: April 21st, 2018 2:21 AM Author: Glittery Associate Community Account
The odds are zero - I haven't met a single person who's attempted Catch 22 who didn't find it belly-laugh inducing hilarious.
But I'm sure the "story of Zeina, an Iraqi-American who signs up to be an interpreter for the U.S. Army and finds herself stationed in her hometown of Baghdad, where she must hide her work from her formidable grandmother" is a riot.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3955424&forum_id=2#35886865)
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Date: April 20th, 2018 10:49 PM Author: Green Ratface Half-breed
I have never been able to fathom why The Catcher in the Rye is such a canonical novel. I read it because everyone else in school was reading it but thought it was totally silly. Now, looking back, I find that it is without any literary merit whatsoever. Why waste adolescents' time? Alternatively, I'd suggest Olivia, the story of a British teenage girl who is sent to a boarding school in France. It is short and written in a kind of levelheaded and deceptively straightforward style. Olivia eventually falls in love with her teacher Mademoiselle Julie T, who in turn, and without reciprocating that love out loud, is equally in love with Olivia. Julie never takes a wrong step, but there are signs for those who know how to read them. I read Olivia many, many times, bought it for many of my friends, and consider it the inspiration for Call Me by Your Name. —André Aciman, 'Call Me by Your Name'
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damn, that's like my 2nd fav book. salinger is 180
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3955424&forum_id=2#35886058) |
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Date: April 21st, 2018 2:25 AM Author: Glittery Associate Community Account
"the story of a British teenage girl who is sent to a boarding school in France"
Andre - you're gay we get it. His parents owned a knitting factory and I'm sure he knitted while reading Olivia, the story of a British teenage girl who is sent to boarding school in France, multiple times over. While knitting and fantasizing about being a British teenage girl.
"Aciman was born in Alexandria, Egypt, the son of Regine and Henri N. Aciman, who owned a knitting factory.[12][13][14] His mother was deaf.[15] Aciman was raised in a French-speaking home where family members also spoke Italian, Greek, Ladino, and Arabic.[7]
His parents were Sephardic Jews, of Turkish and Italian origin, from families that had settled in Alexandria in 1905" - odd case
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3955424&forum_id=2#35886876) |
Date: April 20th, 2018 10:53 PM Author: mauve location
hay, don't read the bible, which is, for better or worse, one of the key texts of all of western civilization
ignore all of that shit and focus on a marvelous tale of two brothers who have to get along when things get rough
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3955424&forum_id=2#35886077) |
Date: April 20th, 2018 11:00 PM Author: Green Ratface Half-breed
"Also, William Shakespeare. I mean, really, is he even that good? Zoya Jackson's play, 'the african whore,' follows in similar line to 'the merchant of venice,' and, quite frankly, is superior in its characters, plot, and dialogue. I remember reading Shakespeare in school and thinking 'wow, i'd rather be smoking weed,' but with Zoya's recent rendition, I find myself thinking, 'wow, i'd like to see this play in the theatre, and i'd like Zoya's autograph as well because she's amazing!"
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3955424&forum_id=2#35886121) |
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Date: April 21st, 2018 12:40 AM Author: blue razzle toaster
you laugh, but give it 10 more years.
10 years ago, could anyone imagine the ABOVE list? or that libs would SERIOUSLY be calling for the razing of George Washington statues?
this is the propaganda game they play. it's a jewish plot to *keep the pressure on*, incrementally, relentlessly moving us further afield into looney land, never letting you re-establish your bearings.
see: Cass Sunstein's 'Nudge' concept.
ABN = Alway Be Nudging.
this is how (((they))) operate. NUDGE, NUDGE, NUDGE.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3955424&forum_id=2#35886575) |
Date: April 20th, 2018 11:03 PM Author: crawly wonderful locus
The winner for most audacious, retarded shitlibbery goes to:
If the thing you heard was good about the Bible was the nasty bits, then I propose Agota Kristof's The Notebook, a marvelous tale of two brothers who have to get along when things get rough.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3955424&forum_id=2#35886139) |
Date: April 20th, 2018 11:15 PM Author: Bronze Crotch
"I never could get into Joseph Heller's Catch-22. It fails to capture the absurdities and impossible conflicts of war."
The book literally introduced a phrase to the modern lexicon that captures absurd, impossible conflicts.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3955424&forum_id=2#35886215) |
Date: April 20th, 2018 11:19 PM Author: Diverse Rehab
"Mark Twain was a racist. Just read Adventures of Huckleberry Finn. He was a man of his time, so let's leave him there. We don't need him."
LMFAO
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3955424&forum_id=2#35886236) |
Date: April 20th, 2018 11:25 PM Author: arousing sick doctorate weed whacker
12. The Bible
Instead: The Notebook
Lmao
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3955424&forum_id=2#35886267) |
Date: April 20th, 2018 11:30 PM Author: blue razzle toaster
just... what the fuck?
a men's magazine makes a list of books that are 'bad' because they are too 'masculine'?
i'm just... at a loss at this point. where are we going here? we are now committed to the premise that men should be *less* male? and women are all BADASSES?
has anyone stopped to note the reasoning behind any of this?
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3955424&forum_id=2#35886287) |
Date: April 20th, 2018 11:33 PM Author: slimy puce internal respiration principal's office
obviously this is mostly nonsense but some of the takes are correct; The Alchemist sucks, 'Freedom' sucks, 'Inherent Vice' is better than 'Gravity's Rainbow' and Blood Meridian is massively overrated (and so is McCarthy in general).
I am a little confused as to why Geoff Dyer thinks "The Rise and Fall of the Third Reich" is at all a substitute for "The Ambassadors". Is he a Boomer old? "Literary fiction is boring, let's read this Rommel biography!"
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3955424&forum_id=2#35886298) |
Date: April 20th, 2018 11:42 PM Author: jade vibrant marketing idea school cafeteria
12. The Bible
Instead: The Notebook by Agota Kristof
The Holy Bible is rated very highly by all the people who supposedly live by it but who in actuality have not read it. Those who have read it know there are some good parts, but overall it is certainly not the finest thing that man has ever produced. It is repetitive, self-contradictory, sententious, foolish, and even at times ill-intentioned. If the thing you heard was good about the Bible was the nasty bits, then I propose Agota Kristof's The Notebook, a marvelous tale of two brothers who have to get along when things get rough. The subtlety and cruelty of this story is like that famous sword stroke (from below the boat) that plunged upward through the bowels, the lungs, and the throat and into the brain of the rower. —Jesse Ball, 'Census'
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3955424&forum_id=2#35886357) |
Date: April 20th, 2018 11:47 PM Author: infuriating cobalt blood rage
White Men Are Mad That This ‘GQ’ List Dismisses Books By White Men
BY TAYLOR BRYANT · APRIL 20, 2018
White Men Are Mad That This ‘GQ’ List Dismisses Books By White Men
Yesterday, GQ published an article titled “21 Books You Don’t Have To Read.” In it, the editors, along with many acclaimed authors, compiled a list of works they think are overrated and should be, if not struck from the canon, at least passed over in favor of other often overlooked, but excellent works.
Now, because some of the books GQ insists "you don't have to read" include Catcher in the Rye, The Alchemist, A Farewell to Arms, The Lord of the Rings, and Catch-22, and those books are very near and dear to many, some controversy was bound to ensue. But because all 21 of those books were written by men, and overwhelmingly white men at that, the controversy was particularly whiny, because, well: white men. They like to whine.
Not going to link to this GQ piece about 21 classic books you can skip (here's a suggestion: READ THEM), but I am going to gently suggest that the person who wrote this sentence not write about books again. Ever, please. pic.twitter.com/7zZJE0Wzn0
— Mark Harris (@MarkHarrisNYC) April 20, 2018
The whole point of GQ magazine was supposed to be to help guys become more like Hemingway, not to replace him with the latest chick lit. WTF is wrong with you people?
— Ricky Velasquez (@QueenMengerKarl) April 20, 2018
Ironically, the books that are replacing those that "you don't have to read" are also overwhelmingly by... white men. While there are more women authors included, those women are also mostly white. In fact, Frederick Douglass is the only black person listed and there is not one black woman or Asian author in the mix.
So while those whining white dudes should definitely try picking up some James Baldwin or Toni Morrison or Audre Lorde or Amy Tan, so should the writers who GQ's editors polled—as well as the editors themselves. They might learn something in the process.
https://nylon.com/articles/gq-books-dont-have-to-read-white-men?utm_source=twitter&utm_medium=social&utm_campaign=nylon
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3955424&forum_id=2#35886376) |
Date: April 21st, 2018 12:23 AM Author: Smoky point stain
hey hey ho ho
western civ has got to go!
[100 years later]
fuck why did we piss away 2500 of wisdom?
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3955424&forum_id=2#35886519) |
Date: April 21st, 2018 2:05 AM Author: Glittery Associate Community Account
I actually love Lonesome Dove, but I'm convinced that the cowboy mythos, with its rigid masculine emotional landscape, glorification of guns and destruction, and misogynistic gender roles, is a major factor in the degradation of America. Rather than perpetuate this myth, I'd love for everyone, but particularly American men, to read The Mountain Lion by Jean Stafford. It's a wicked, brilliant, dark book set largely on a ranch in Colorado, but it acts in many ways as a strong rebuttal to all the old toxic western stereotypes we all need to explode.
-------
Is this satire? If not these people are a scourge on the earth - but seriously look what this paragraph implies. "I actually love Lonesome Dove" but.....
Translation: I'm smart enough to appreciate this great book but the common person, whom I stick up for politically, is not and will be negatively influenced by these stereotypes.
There are some great books on that list - authors should kill themselves if not satire.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3955424&forum_id=2#35886822) |
Date: April 21st, 2018 2:15 AM Author: Glittery Associate Community Account
MORE STORIES LIKE THIS ONE
Not Every Gay Man Is DTF
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3955424&forum_id=2#35886849)
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Date: April 21st, 2018 2:18 AM Author: blue razzle toaster
down with christian bible, down with manhood, down with white/european culture!
up with homosex!
kill these ppl
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3955424&forum_id=2#35886860) |
Date: April 21st, 2018 8:03 AM Author: mustard den juggernaut
12. The Bible
Instead: The Notebook by Agota Kristof
This is Onion level stuff.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3955424&forum_id=2#35887289) |
Date: April 21st, 2018 8:38 AM Author: hideous tanning salon therapy
The worst crime committed by Adventures of Huckleberry Finn is that it makes first-time Twain readers think Twain wrote tedious, meandering stories. He did, as is evidenced by this, his book of tedious, meandering stories—but he also wrote a lot of richly entertaining meandering stories that are not constrained by the ham-fisted narration of a fictional backcountry child or suffused with his sweaty imitation of a slave talking. Alternatively, read Frederick Douglass's firsthand account of slavery, which is equal parts shocking and heartbreaking. It's also an invigorating revenge story: Douglass identifies slave owners by name and hometown, detailing their crimes with such specificity that their descendants will be embarrassed forever. While Jim, the affable slave friend of Huck Finn, exclaims things like “Lawsy, I's mighty glad…,” Frederick Douglass makes observations like “I love the pure, peaceable, and impartial Christianity of Christ: I therefore hate the corrupt, slaveholding, women-whipping, cradle-plundering, partial and hypocritical Christianity of this land.” You were saying, Mr. Twain?
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3955424&forum_id=2#35887360) |
Date: April 21st, 2018 10:14 AM Author: Slap-happy national
LJL:
The worst crime committed by Adventures of Huckleberry Finn is that it makes first-time Twain readers think Twain wrote tedious, meandering stories. He did, as is evidenced by this, his book of tedious, meandering stories—but he also wrote a lot of richly entertaining meandering stories that are not constrained by the ham-fisted narration of a fictional backcountry child or suffused with his sweaty imitation of a slave talking. Alternatively, read Frederick Douglass's firsthand account of slavery, which is equal parts shocking and heartbreaking. It's also an invigorating revenge story: Douglass identifies slave owners by name and hometown, detailing their crimes with such specificity that their descendants will be embarrassed forever. While Jim, the affable slave friend of Huck Finn, exclaims things like “Lawsy, I's mighty glad…,” Frederick Douglass makes observations like “I love the pure, peaceable, and impartial Christianity of Christ: I therefore hate the corrupt, slaveholding, women-whipping, cradle-plundering, partial and hypocritical Christianity of this land.” You were saying, Mr. Twain? —Caity Weaver, GQ writer and editor
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3955424&forum_id=2#35887650) |
Date: April 21st, 2018 10:39 AM Author: charismatic soggy home
as usual, xo is angry only because something white and male is being criticized
if this were a list of 20 books by female authors, for example, xo wouldn't give a shit. Or if the list were mixed. How predictable; I knew what the entire thread was going to be before I opened it.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3955424&forum_id=2#35887760) |
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Date: April 21st, 2018 11:37 AM Author: Diverse Rehab
setting aside whether it would be possible to write those comparable lists, in the real world none of those groups are the targets of a public "THEY MUST GO!" campaign. lol @ bringing up xo's hypothetical lack of anger to an article tearing down Chicano lit (that you had to imagine because it obviously doesn't exist) as a point in your favor lmao.
anyway, do you agree with the spirit of the piece? essentially "they were men of their time, fuck them, we have nothing to learn from them". it kinda seems like insane and unhealthy fanaticism to me no matter who the targets are.
and lol how you have nothing to say about the article and immediately go after the identities of the other responders - so bored and tired of this standard evil shitlib tactic which seems drilled in your heads to the point of instinct now. every time: insane article gets written, staying quiet gets taken for acquiescence and something even more insane comes down the line next month. if any white men rise to the bait and say "this seems insane" nobody has to engage on substance and can just jeer at them for their "predictable" whiny white male tears. poor guys can't even bitch anonymously in a web 0.5 safe space without someone popping up to play this game!!
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3955424&forum_id=2#35888073) |
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