Option B: A high school English teacher is asked to pick one word out of the 100 most commonly used words in the English language. You are not told what word he picked. In 20 years, you will get $5 for every time you have uttered that word IN A SENTENCE during said 20 year period.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3955981&forum_id=2#35890738)

i would split this list of 100 most common words into 8-10 sentences and commit them to memory and recite them during shower, during commute, during moments of boredom

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Most_common_words_in_English

i would also read aloud everything i'm typing on xo and elsewhere.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3955981&forum_id=2#35890831)

also that is 20c per word.... saying a word out loud is far more costly than you think

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3955981&forum_id=2#35890858)

each sentence would take about 2s to utter, so 20s to run through the entire list. so $5/20s, or $15/min, or $900/hr

an hour a day of deliberate recital would bring in about $300k/yr, plus the amount brought in by incidental utterance. let's say $400k/yr, which would be 8 million in 20 years. not bad.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3955981&forum_id=2#35890924)

i would break the monotony by coming up with creative ways to use the words

i can definitely do this

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3955981&forum_id=2#35890955)

if you say something enough times over and over again, it rewires your brain. I would not fuck around willy nilly with something like that.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3955981&forum_id=2#35890969)

like the sound "Aum" is the go-to one for meditation because it apparently "sounds like" the origin/totality of the cosmos.

even if you use a longer mantra in a language you don't understand, the sounds are very important.

Saying weird contrived english sentences for an hour a day would start to sound like gobbledegook nonsense in your head (this phenomenon happens if you repeat even a single english word over and over), like a Lewis Carroll poem. You wouldn't reach nirvana. You'd get put in a psych ward.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3955981&forum_id=2#35891008)

if so, A

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3955981&forum_id=2#35891738)

Option B: You get to go back to college with 10/10 raw intellectual horsepower. You'll be the smartest undergrad on campus. However, at age 27, you will decline to an IQ of 110 - 120. How much you hydrate will determine your final IQ. If you hydrate well, it will be closer to 120. If you neglect to drink enough water, it will decline to 110.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3955981&forum_id=2#35890807)

it's not that hard to carry around a bottle and fill it up consistently, and 120 isn't that bad

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3955981&forum_id=2#35890817)

only tricky part of option B is having to deliberately avoid fields/careers that are only available to you because of your high IQ, because then you'd get fucked once it declines

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3955981&forum_id=2#35890889)

Option B: Anytime you shout "where dem boys at?", somewhere between 3-5 former members of the Dallas Cowboys will appear and do your bidding for up to 45 minutes. You can't control which Cowboys or how many: they could be guys who retired from the NFL last year, they could be geriatric guys who played 30+ years ago. They could be all offensive linemen, they could be two punters and a running back, it's all randomly determined. The sports media follows you around and runs stories about how you use this power and how well you tip.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3955981&forum_id=2#35890838)

hard to see the benefits of A

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3955981&forum_id=2#35890884)

those govts profit on those homeless and u can't promise where the homeless come from

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3955981&forum_id=2#35890942)

am I missing the benefits of A?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3955981&forum_id=2#35891981)

Option B: You become the Court Jester of Rhode Island. You must move to Providence, Rhode Island. Your job is to tell jokes at official dinners and parties hosted by the Governor of Vermont. Your job is not a political appointment, so you stay in office when the Governor changes and can only be fired "for cause" such as gross misconduct. You are paid $50,000 per year with a 2.5% annual COL increase. Your pension vests after 5 years of service. If your pension vests, that means at age 60 you can retire from jesting and you will be paid your final jesting salary annually until you die.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3955981&forum_id=2#35890878)

gonna go with A and cheat with the internet. Offer a $100k reward for information leading to the location of the cow.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3955981&forum_id=2#35890932)

Option B: A mysterious man known to you only as "Murphy" appears between 3:00 PM and 3:15 PM on the 7th day of every month in one of the parking lots of the United Center in Chicago. Only you can see Murphy. If you come up to Murphy, he will whisper in your ear and tell you the outcome of between 3-5 cases that will be decided by the 7th Circuit Court of Appeals in the FOLLOWING month. Sometimes he will just tell you who wins the case, sometimes he will speak in riddles that require research to decipher.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3955981&forum_id=2#35890948)

Especially in the event I get a riddle

Helps that the time to meet Murph is when I would feel safe near UC

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3955981&forum_id=2#35891296)

Option B: You develop a compulsive need to have a pacifier in your mouth. You MUST constantly suck on a pacifier when you're not speaking, and you will go stark raving mad if you go without sucking on a pacifier for more than an hour or two. On the flip side, you will become "the baby boss" - any child under the age of 3 will follow your commands. The older the kid gets, the more you'll have to work to get them to follow. So like a 1 year old will follow your instructions explicitly and immediately, while with a kid who's about to turn 3 years old tomorrow it will take like 5-10 minutes of cajoling but he/she will EVENTUALLY do as you say. You can't command the kids to do anything they're not physically or mentally capable of at that age, but kids will follow your commands even if they can't yet understand human language.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3955981&forum_id=2#35890988)

A

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3955981&forum_id=2#35891149)

Option B: Anyone who watches every single Star Wars movie back-to-back in one sitting in chronological order without falling asleep gets a special medal. This medal entitles you to superior customer service: you'll cut to the front of the line at the DMV, you'll be able to get a passport next day, and you will always be treated politely when you call a customer service hotline. However, the medal only lasts for a year, and each year you must "re-certify" by watching all the Star Wars movies chronically again, including any new films that came out during the previous year.

PS by chronological order we mean in-universe chronology. So, I, II, III, Rogue One, IV, V, VI, VII, VII.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3955981&forum_id=2#35891050)

The workers give you the best feasibly possible treatment, but won't do more than can be legally provided?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3955981&forum_id=2#35891215)

Option B: You get a thousand bucks everytime CharlesXII (the XO poaster, not the dead Swedish king) creampies a girl.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3955981&forum_id=2#35891058)

Creampie is he does not wear a condom and cums inside her vagine (she can use contraception)?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3955981&forum_id=2#35891087)

I'm gambling on him eventually getting married and creampieing her semi-regularly til they're too old to fuck anymore

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3955981&forum_id=2#35891092)

you think this happening is more likely than not?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3955981&forum_id=2#35891127)

if I go with A, it's a total crapshoot. I might make a few thousand bucks, I might make nothing. I have no idea how I would go about selecting the optimal kid.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3955981&forum_id=2#35891140)

the first paper back informing them of this problem will have like 8 passive voice uses

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3955981&forum_id=2#35891157)

seems like they're lazy and might just give them a lower grade without marking it explicitly, as is required

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3955981&forum_id=2#35891190)

4 years of English... one/two teachers probably do their jerbs

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3955981&forum_id=2#35891221)

If it's the former, I still pick A. Tons of thirsty thots that I can unleash upon him

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3955981&forum_id=2#35891621)

I was already sketching out a perpetual rape machine for Charles12 to basically just use his captured, imprison FUCKSTICK like a jackhammer to reward thirsty women.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3955981&forum_id=2#35891654)

Option B: A cure for male pattern baldness is discovered. It will restore any bald man to a full, thick head of hair. However, it carries a 10% chance that after the man turns 60, his arms will become hideously deformed and useless.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3955981&forum_id=2#35891101)

A

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3955981&forum_id=2#35891208)

can you make an equivalent hypo for women please

ty

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3955981&forum_id=2#35892077)

Option B: You are given video footage of famous actor Ben Stiller sexually harassing a female costar.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3955981&forum_id=2#35891220)

Option B: Trump fires Scott Pruitt as head of the EPA and appoints you to that position.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3955981&forum_id=2#35891240)

As for B, I don't see how I would ever get confirmed, but at least it's a hell of a lot easier

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3955981&forum_id=2#35891304)

point is, A is an absolute no-go, so B

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3955981&forum_id=2#35891336)

Option B: You get $1,000,000 tax free if any of the following MLB teams win the World Series between now and December 1, 2028: Atlanta Braves, Philadelphia Phillies, Chicago White Sox. (These are all teams that suck right now but might be good in the near future due to prospects they control)

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3955981&forum_id=2#35891345)

Option B: If you want to, every Sunday you can go to the center of the city you live in and stand for 12 hours with a sandwich board that has an advertisement on each side. Each time you do this, you earn $1,000. You get a 5 minute bathroom break every 2 hours. If you fail to stand for the whole 12 hours you must pay a $75 fine.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3955981&forum_id=2#35891576)

Option B: You will be given 10 Civil War battles. You must put them in order from most casualties to fewest casualties. Once you turn in your answers, the proctor will tell you "you have x battles in the wrong place" and you'll have a chance to change your answers. If you can get a perfect score, you will receive a $175 annual travel credit for the rest of your life, which you can apply only to Uber/Lyft rides, taxis, and public transit fare.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3955981&forum_id=2#35891603)

Option B: Pick a figure from Chinese history before 1900. Any figure. The Chinese Communist Party will suddenly turn him into a hero and force every child in China to learn about him/her (or at least an idealized version of him/her) and imitate him/her.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3955981&forum_id=2#35891638)

I would probably pick this ALPHA.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zhang_Zongchang

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3955981&forum_id=2#35901958)

Option B: So it turns out you're incredibly talented at playing the bassoon. With just a few years of practice you become one of the best bassoon players in the entire world. Within 10 years, you are recognized as possibly the best bassoon player of all time. A better bassoon player than you will not be born until the year 2075.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3955981&forum_id=2#35891989)