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Anyone else's parents weird about sharing info on health problems with other fam
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Date: April 22nd, 2018 11:52 PM Author: odious psychic I guess I don't talk with my grandma as much as I should, but tonight I found out from her that she is about to move into an assisted living facility.
My father has ordinarily been something of a clearinghouse on what is going on with everyone else in the family, so to not hear this information from him is pretty suspect. He definitely knew and chose not to share this with me. |
Date: April 22nd, 2018 11:54 PM Author: trip marketing idea it's non of your business creep (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3956964&forum_id=2#35897883) |
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Date: April 23rd, 2018 12:04 AM Author: odious psychic My grandmother moving into assisted living is none of my business?
My dad is happy to keep people in the loop on everything else that is going on in the family.
In fact, he's been on the flip side of this kind of thing in the past. He blabbed about my sister's miscarriage to a bunch of people, which royally pissed off my sister |
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Date: April 23rd, 2018 12:22 AM Author: trip marketing idea yeah imagine having one foot in the grave and making your humiliating end-of-life pretty much official by moving into a old fogey's home, I'm sure you'll be thinking "gee I hope my weird as fuck xo poaster grandson hears about this asap" (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3956964&forum_id=2#35898071) |
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Date: April 23rd, 2018 12:37 AM Author: odious psychic You don't seem to understand, my dad is a narcissistic drama queen.
My grandma would have been happy to share what is going on with her but she's weird about calling people. |
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Date: April 23rd, 2018 2:42 AM Author: Walnut halford Wtf maybe he wants to visit her (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3956964&forum_id=2#35898514) |
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Date: April 22nd, 2018 11:59 PM Author: tan hell bbw They know you don't truly give a shit and are loath to engage in the whole "Aunt Doris had her leg removed" "Oh, such a pity!" pantomime with you. Call her sometime and find out for yourself. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3956964&forum_id=2#35897935) |
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Date: April 23rd, 2018 12:07 AM Author: odious psychic My grandma had a heart attack a couple of months ago and has legit been on the mend.
I called her once not so long ago and she told me that she fell down trying to answer my call. She wasn't injured, but fuck it hurt to hear :( |
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Date: April 23rd, 2018 12:01 AM Author: rose puppy I hate family gossip. They aren't there to "help each other" but to "learn about what's going on with each other." It's interesting gossip to get once in a while, and as long as you call back to "check" you can pretend you give a shit while doing nothing for them.
I hate my extended family and never talk to them because of the above stated facts. |
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Date: April 23rd, 2018 12:13 AM Author: odious psychic It's just really suspect right now, because my sister is moving and my parents have stepped in to try and help as much as they can (despite living a couple hundred miles away from her and being old and not really able to lift stuff)
Meanwhile my grandma is moving in a matter of weeks and they can't even mention it to me? |
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Date: April 23rd, 2018 12:33 AM Author: rose puppy Why not straight up ask them? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3956964&forum_id=2#35898126) |
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Date: April 23rd, 2018 12:44 AM Author: odious psychic I will talk with them about it.
I talked with them earlier today and they didn't say anything about it. I found out later this evening when I talked with my grandma myself.
This thread though isn't exactly about her, it's about my parents selectively not sharing things when they ought to, and sharing other things when it's pretty clear that they shouldn't.
It's really fucking frustrating |
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Date: April 23rd, 2018 2:00 AM Author: rose puppy Sorry, man. I personally hate my family and have kept my distance from them for other reasons, so I feel you. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3956964&forum_id=2#35898413) |
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Date: April 23rd, 2018 2:09 AM Author: odious psychic I get it. I moved away from my family precisely because of how shitty they can be.
I just wish I'd be more kept in the loop on the really serious stuff |
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Date: April 23rd, 2018 12:18 AM Author: Crystalline startled electric furnace i get that you are hurt because this is pretty big news, and it sounds like you were the last to hear. i might also think it was an intentional omission given your dads past behavior, which is indeoendently hurtful
It's a difficult transition both for your grandma and your dad. i really try not to infer bad intentions, so maybe now that you know, focis on being as helpful as your can to your grandma.
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Date: April 23rd, 2018 12:32 AM Author: odious psychic Well, she's definitely been on a bit of decline over the last year or so.
This thread isn't even really about her though TBH. It's about my dad either omitting info or oversharing at basically every possible opportunity.
There have been multiple events with himself and my mother that I didn't hear about until unacceptably late in the process of things. Somewhat recently, he passed out and had the rescue squad called on him and I didn't find out until well afterward.
He put the family dog down when I was in college without telling me about it beforehand.
With my sister's miscarriage, she suddenly started getting sympathy cards in the mail from fairly distant relatives despite her only telling our mother about it. It was her first pregnancy and she was pretty distraught about it. My sister was so pissed that she ceased talking to my mom and dad, which made my mother nearly suicidal. |
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Date: April 23rd, 2018 12:20 AM Author: godawful concupiscible internal respiration he's ashamed that he's putting her in a home instead of taking her in, and is shocked that as a boomer he can feel shame (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3956964&forum_id=2#35898059) |
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Date: April 23rd, 2018 12:21 AM Author: Crystalline startled electric furnace (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3956964&forum_id=2#35898066) |
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Date: April 23rd, 2018 2:12 AM Author: Fighting theater stage place of business (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3956964&forum_id=2#35898462) |
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Date: April 23rd, 2018 2:35 AM Author: odious psychic To some extent, this is part of it.
My dad lives in the same city as my grandma.
My dad has this second home a hundred miles or so away from my grandma. He absolutely loves it there but she's supposedly been lobbying to get them to spend more time on her & less time at their vacation home
Getting old sucks for real and I don't envy my father or grandmother in the totality of all of this |