Date: October 18th, 2018 6:48 AM
Author: pale shivering bawdyhouse really tough guy
i have a very limited drug-taking resume, because i have a very delicate equilibrium and i have reacted very badly to every drug i have ever tried. i smoked pot like 6 times in HS and college and only really experienced any effect like 3 times. the 2nd time i got really high and it almost made me insane. it did something to my brain and the effect lasted for like a year. i had some kind of breakdown. my grandmother was schizophrenic and i think i have some mild form of schizophrenia.
anyway, i foreswore ever using drugs again, after that experience. but once in college i was at a party and everyone pestered me into smoking marijuana again. this time i had the same violently anxious and horrifying initial reaction, but followed by something incredible.
it was like my mind was EMPTY the next day, when i awoke. i had the greatest sense of *calm* i had ever experienced. like all the garbage in my mind had been flushed out. i felt like i was a *blank slate*, without any identity. but then it gradually faded over time.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4109461&forum_id=2#37047958)