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Fleshlight here -- making my official retirement poast....
Poast new message in this thread
Date: October 22nd, 2018 12:28 PM Author: khaki background story ....not retirement from poasting, but retirement as a cheatmo. But since that's all I really poast about, this will also largely be a retirement from poasting...
Fucked two chicks last week and two more earlier this month. I've always been on point as fuck with my OPSEC, but I've gotten too sloppy recently -- probably because my cheating had, over time, become more and more compulsive and less of a calculated way of having some fun. Also, I've gone from cheating a few times a year, to now doing it basically every good chance I get, which ends up being ~12 chicks the past year. It's clearly now a full on addiction and not just me being a guy who can get laid easily.
I came EXTREMELY EXTREMELY close to getting caught with one of the chicks I fucked last week. I can't go into details on how I almost got caught because it would involve too much information on where I was traveling last week and what I was doing there.
Suffice it to say that I made a dumb dumb dumb OPSEC error that gave my wife a very good reason to think I was fucking a chick. I was only able to sneak my way out of it with some epic epic improvised on-the-spot lies, an app that placed fake phone calls in my phone, and asking a friend to cover for me. I'm 97% certain I'm in the clear, but not 100% out of the woods yet.
On top of this, at a wedding this weekend I was at, there was a chick I cheated with many years ago, which was not that close of a call, but was a stark reminder that this shit WILL catch up to me if I keep going.
So, I think this is finally providing the push I need to make the firm commitment to stop finally cheating. I've been saying I need to stop for probably 4 years now, but this time I really mean it. |
Date: October 22nd, 2018 12:31 PM Author: Big-titted curious french chef Wait (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4112336&forum_id=2#37072212) |
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Date: October 22nd, 2018 12:44 PM Author: khaki background story Sorry bro -- but no more sub-par Tinder-threading from this near-personality-disordermo. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4112336&forum_id=2#37072299) |
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Date: October 22nd, 2018 12:45 PM Author: Big-titted curious french chef Which disorder brother? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4112336&forum_id=2#37072306) |
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Date: October 22nd, 2018 1:03 PM Author: khaki background story I've actually spent a lot of time thinking about this and reading the literature on personality disorders and personality generally. I'm not all the way on any of them, but am fairly close to a few of them -- many of the ones that involve extremely low agreeableness.
I'm very low in negative emotion, which takes the following off the table: Paranoid PD, Schizotypal PD, Borderline PD, Histrionic PD, Avoidant PD, Dependent PD, and Obsessive-compulsive PD.
I show signs of Narcissistic personality disorder, but am not extroverted (especially assertive) enough to be fully NPD and also don't manipulate people enough or have enough of a desire for power or success.
I also show signs of Antisocial personality disorder, but am also not extroverted (especially assertive) enough to be fully ASPD, and I again don't manipulate people that much or cause any harm to others really.
My lower extroversion points some to Schizoid personality disorder. I'm very secretive, emotionally cold, detached, and apathetic, but I very much do not live a solitary or sheltered lifestyle. When I want to be, I'm very charismatic. I have lots of friends who feel really close to me -- and I'm very loyal to them -- but I don't really feel emotionally close with him. I think I'm too extroverted for this one (although still low on extroversion).
So, I think I'm fairly close to NPD, ASPB and Schizoid-PD, but don't fit neatly in one. Also, my life is 180 overall with no serious harm to me or to others from my behavior, so I can't actually be classified as having any personality disorder. Hence why I say I'm close to having a few of them.
From a big-5 perspective, I'm 1st percentile Agreeableness, ~5th percentile in Extroversion, ~5th percentile in Conscientiousness, ~70th percentile in Openness, and 1st percentile in Negative emotion.
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Date: October 22nd, 2018 1:12 PM Author: Big-titted curious french chef (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4112336&forum_id=2#37072482) |
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Date: October 22nd, 2018 1:25 PM Author: khaki background story I also think my high IQ lets me get away with lots of problematic behavior without any negative repercussions. IQ is well-known to protect against personality disorders all other things equal. Allows for more mindfulness and better deception. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4112336&forum_id=2#37072560) |
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Date: October 22nd, 2018 1:26 PM Author: Big-titted curious french chef (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4112336&forum_id=2#37072567) |
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Date: October 22nd, 2018 1:27 PM Author: beady-eyed knife “high IQ”
I guess we can add self-delusion to your list of symptoms. |
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Date: October 22nd, 2018 2:03 PM Author: khaki background story Even if you reject the idea that I'm smart by XO standards, I'm still obviously a lawyer and that's proof-enough of a high-enough IQ for my above-claim. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4112336&forum_id=2#37072752) |
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Date: October 22nd, 2018 2:35 PM Author: Thriller know-it-all office Your problem is psychopathy. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4112336&forum_id=2#37072941) |
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Date: October 22nd, 2018 2:42 PM Author: khaki background story Yes, in the sense that I have "too much" of, it, but as I explained in reasonable detail above, I do not fit the diagnostic criteria for ASPD. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4112336&forum_id=2#37072980) |
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Date: October 22nd, 2018 3:42 PM Author: submissive transparent police squad (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4112336&forum_id=2#37073378) |
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Date: October 22nd, 2018 3:47 PM Author: khaki background story I'm big into looking at personality disorders from the big-5 perspective (which is what the appendices to the latest DSM does) and my poast will make more sense if you look at it from that perspective. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4112336&forum_id=2#37073417) |
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Date: October 22nd, 2018 8:09 PM Author: Cracking nudist rigpig People are laughing at you but you sound fucked up in all the same ways I Fucked up. My diagnosis was mostly depression, adhd, not quite bi-polar, not quite narcissism, and similarly high iq. We also have in common the ability to live with the consequences of harming those close to us. |
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Date: October 22nd, 2018 8:19 PM Author: khaki background story I disagree thoroughly.
I'm ADHD, but the opposite of depressed or Bi-Polar. I'm extremley low in negative emotion and am as stable as a person can be.
Also -- I don't harm anyone around me. The only person I arguably harm is my Wife, but she has never found out about any of this and so has not been harmed.
Other than the cheatmoing and my drug use, I'm a model citizen. |
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Date: October 22nd, 2018 1:04 PM Author: odious doctorate faggot (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4112336&forum_id=2#37072426) |
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Date: October 22nd, 2018 6:56 PM Author: khaki background story I also suckNfuck with jacked musclestuds, so I'm 100% straight as fuck. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4112336&forum_id=2#37074564) |
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Date: October 22nd, 2018 1:04 PM Author: Charismatic sickened pistol faggot firefighter Turn to God, brother. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4112336&forum_id=2#37072428) |
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Date: October 22nd, 2018 1:22 PM Author: khaki background story I'm too practical for this. The key for me is to stop being so over confident about my ability to never get caught and to get more risk-averse. Sure, I can have a low chance of getting caught each individual time, but eventually I WILL get caught. Especially since I'm more sloppy than I should be. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4112336&forum_id=2#37072544) |
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Date: October 22nd, 2018 1:06 PM Author: Duck-like blathering location gas yourself (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4112336&forum_id=2#37072438) |
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Date: October 22nd, 2018 4:24 PM Author: khaki background story I'm a goy though... (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4112336&forum_id=2#37073693) |
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Date: October 22nd, 2018 1:06 PM Author: vigorous box office ladyboy ching chong bing bong (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4112336&forum_id=2#37072440) |
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Date: October 22nd, 2018 2:04 PM Author: ocher mad cow disease You should retire after bragging about fucking that disgusting tranny (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4112336&forum_id=2#37072761) |
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Date: October 22nd, 2018 2:05 PM Author: khaki background story You jealous faggots will always say something negative about the chicks I poast because you all hate me. She was a fucking SMOKESHOW. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4112336&forum_id=2#37072766) |
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Date: October 22nd, 2018 2:09 PM Author: ocher mad cow disease I have nothing against you, that girl was vomit inducing. Like legit gross. I wouldn’t fuck her if she paid me. If you truly think she was hot and aren’t running a long con flame routine then LOL at you. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4112336&forum_id=2#37072787) |
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Date: October 22nd, 2018 2:15 PM Author: khaki background story OK -- the 5'10" former successful model with a perfect body was "legit gross." Even if I concede that she had a tranny face (which she 100% did not), the body alone would still make her a high-quality fuck and clearly not the "legit gross" tranny you're trying to portray her as. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4112336&forum_id=2#37072824) |
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Date: October 22nd, 2018 4:03 PM Author: Mind-boggling sandwich mfcr (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4112336&forum_id=2#37073557) |
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Date: October 22nd, 2018 4:48 PM Author: ocher mad cow disease She was disgusting, lol if you think otherwise (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4112336&forum_id=2#37073864) |
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Date: October 22nd, 2018 2:11 PM Author: odious doctorate youre an ugly and retarded subhuman (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4112336&forum_id=2#37072807) |
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Date: October 22nd, 2018 3:39 PM Author: submissive transparent police squad (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4112336&forum_id=2#37073354) |
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Date: October 22nd, 2018 4:48 PM Author: ocher mad cow disease (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4112336&forum_id=2#37073867) |
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Date: October 22nd, 2018 4:03 PM Author: Mind-boggling sandwich 180000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4112336&forum_id=2#37073554) |
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Date: October 22nd, 2018 2:13 PM Author: ruby razzmatazz depressive step-uncle's house Please retire from life tyia (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4112336&forum_id=2#37072814) |
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Date: October 22nd, 2018 2:15 PM Author: floppy honey-headed patrolman (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4112336&forum_id=2#37072826) |
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Date: October 22nd, 2018 3:39 PM Author: submissive transparent police squad (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4112336&forum_id=2#37073353) |
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Date: October 22nd, 2018 4:00 PM Author: Olive deer antler (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4112336&forum_id=2#37073540) |
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Date: October 22nd, 2018 4:48 PM Author: ocher mad cow disease (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4112336&forum_id=2#37073870) |
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Date: October 22nd, 2018 5:18 PM Author: twinkling internet-worthy karate (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4112336&forum_id=2#37074089) |
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Date: October 22nd, 2018 7:38 PM Author: khaki background story LJL at that. Even if I get divorce pwned because of Cheating, I'll be in great shape. Don't get too bothered by stuff. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4112336&forum_id=2#37074788) |
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Date: October 22nd, 2018 9:25 PM Author: Ivory crusty cumskin center (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4112336&forum_id=2#37075580) |
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Date: October 22nd, 2018 2:26 PM Author: Insecure Coiffed Hall Good luck - seems like the right decision. Kids? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4112336&forum_id=2#37072895) |
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Date: October 22nd, 2018 2:34 PM Author: khaki background story TYFT.
No kids, but that's on the table. So, yet another reason I need to put this problematic behavior behind me. Also don't want to fudge up my Wife's hole with any more HPV than I already have. |
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Date: October 22nd, 2018 2:43 PM Author: Insecure Coiffed Hall any chance you can be honest with your wife so she can help you reform? your chances of success are exponentially greater if you have her helping you.
if you are going to have kids you need to find a way to stop. one option is therapy - seems like you could benefit from therapy for a variety of reasons. after all, you're a sophisticated person with an abundance of resources at your disposal. one of them is therapy. why not exhaust those resources towards the achievement of a goal you acknowledge is critically important to you? |
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Date: October 22nd, 2018 2:44 PM Author: swashbuckling preventive strike institution (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4112336&forum_id=2#37072995) |
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Date: October 22nd, 2018 3:36 PM Author: khaki background story Wife already thinks I'm in therapy for anger issues. I actually just go to a psychiatrist once / month to get Vyvanse. I've seriously considered therapy for this, but the efficacy for therapy for behavioral / personality issues like this is not good. All therapy is basically aimed at helping people with issues with negative emotion and sometimes hyper-conscientiousness. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4112336&forum_id=2#37073336) |
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Date: October 22nd, 2018 3:40 PM Author: Insecure Coiffed Hall where are you getting your information about low efficacy for this? that's not my understanding re sex disorders.
anyways, therapy is what you make of it. if you take it seriously (which means complete and painful honesty with your therapist) and stick with it efficacy is high.
btw, dude you need to stop lying to your wife - even about small stuff. sorry to get all alcoholics anonymous on you here but JFC |
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Date: October 22nd, 2018 3:43 PM Author: khaki background story I classify what I do as an expression of a quasi-personality disorder and not an addiction. I've read a lot of the literature on personality disorders generally (ie. DSM + appendices, chapters of psych textbooks, and dozens of published studies). There's some efficacy to therapy for PDs like OCPD & BPD, but not so much for the one's I'm nearer too. That said, I never looked at that issue specifically, that's just the takeaway i remember from what I read. Will look a bit into efficacy of therapy for addiction. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4112336&forum_id=2#37073391) |
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Date: October 22nd, 2018 3:39 PM Author: purple talented school but, as spack taught us, women like being cheated on (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4112336&forum_id=2#37073350) |
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Date: October 22nd, 2018 6:41 PM Author: khaki background story Spack? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4112336&forum_id=2#37074500) |
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Date: October 22nd, 2018 3:43 PM Author: vigorous box office ladyboy ESL syntax of thread title = further proof you're a gook (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4112336&forum_id=2#37073386) |
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Date: October 22nd, 2018 3:55 PM Author: khaki background story Please explain in details friend. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4112336&forum_id=2#37073489) |
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Date: October 22nd, 2018 4:00 PM Author: vigorous box office ladyboy there, u did it again (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4112336&forum_id=2#37073538) |
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Date: October 22nd, 2018 4:07 PM Author: Olive deer antler lol fatality (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4112336&forum_id=2#37073580) |
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Date: October 22nd, 2018 4:16 PM Author: khaki background story Two words for you -- confirmation bias. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4112336&forum_id=2#37073644) |
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Date: October 22nd, 2018 4:18 PM Author: Olive deer antler literally no native English speaker would use "details" instead of "detail" there, Ling-ling "Lee" Zhao (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4112336&forum_id=2#37073651) |
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Date: October 22nd, 2018 4:18 PM Author: khaki background story Occam's razor - it's a typo. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4112336&forum_id=2#37073654) |
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Date: October 22nd, 2018 4:24 PM Author: ruby razzmatazz depressive step-uncle's house (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4112336&forum_id=2#37073692) |
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Date: October 22nd, 2018 4:25 PM Author: ruby razzmatazz depressive step-uncle's house loling at his use of "confirmation bias" & "occam's razor" to try to prove his point (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4112336&forum_id=2#37073698) |
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Date: October 22nd, 2018 4:33 PM Author: khaki background story Both are accurate logical points. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4112336&forum_id=2#37073755) |
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Date: October 22nd, 2018 4:50 PM Author: vigorous box office ladyboy i come to america, study in electrical engineering, and make my dissertation writing on microchip (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4112336&forum_id=2#37073886) |
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Date: October 22nd, 2018 5:04 PM Author: khaki background story Your only real evidence for me being a gook is your assumption that someone who can actually pull down chicks easily would poast here. False assumption. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4112336&forum_id=2#37074005) |
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Date: October 22nd, 2018 5:11 PM Author: vigorous box office ladyboy Date: October 22nd, 2018 5:04 PM Author: Racist Manhattan Guy
Your only real evidence for me being a gook is your assumption that someone who can actually pull down chicks easily would poast here. False assumption.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=#)
u did it again |
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Date: October 22nd, 2018 5:14 PM Author: ocher mad cow disease This chink has to be flame (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4112336&forum_id=2#37074067) |
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Date: October 22nd, 2018 5:20 PM Author: khaki background story SZ is the one who's flaming. I think it's bad flame since it's basically the same flame about FATCEPs being a turd from when he poasted about his cheating, but people seem to dig it, so I'll allow it. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4112336&forum_id=2#37074106) |
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Date: October 22nd, 2018 4:49 PM Author: ocher mad cow disease (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4112336&forum_id=2#37073873) |
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Date: October 22nd, 2018 6:20 PM Author: floppy honey-headed patrolman (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4112336&forum_id=2#37074396) |
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Date: October 22nd, 2018 4:38 PM Author: Insecure Coiffed Hall spritezero really knows how to jump in and dominate a thread. he's like that kid who comes across a game of tag and says "actually we're all racing to right here!" and runs to some imaginary line. it seems unfair but he says it with such confidence you're like fuck i better beat greg to that line at least. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4112336&forum_id=2#37073802) |
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Date: October 22nd, 2018 4:39 PM Author: Olive deer antler (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4112336&forum_id=2#37073810) |
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Date: October 22nd, 2018 5:12 PM Author: autistic histrionic persian (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4112336&forum_id=2#37074054) |
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Date: October 22nd, 2018 7:25 PM Author: khaki background story Lacks creativity. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4112336&forum_id=2#37074708) |
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Date: October 22nd, 2018 8:08 PM Author: Thriller know-it-all office (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4112336&forum_id=2#37074982) |
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Date: December 9th, 2019 7:52 PM Author: ebony outnumbered dopamine (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4112336&forum_id=2#39239298) |
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Date: October 22nd, 2018 5:23 PM Author: nighttime crackhouse useless brakes it'd be so much more entertaining if were caught though (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4112336&forum_id=2#37074125) |
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Date: October 22nd, 2018 5:29 PM Author: khaki background story the irony is that if I was caught I probably wouldnt poast about it since the information would likley spread around IRL and so it would not be safe from an outing perspective to poast about it. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4112336&forum_id=2#37074160) |
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Date: October 22nd, 2018 5:32 PM Author: nighttime crackhouse useless brakes I don't buy it that almost getting caught is causing you to reconsider
almost but not getting caught feels like it'd be more of a sweetner for someone like you |
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Date: October 22nd, 2018 5:43 PM Author: khaki background story I hope you're not right, but that's a real risk.
Also important to note that leading up to this, I've been meaning to stop for a long time and have never previously had any close calls like this.
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Date: October 22nd, 2018 5:46 PM Author: nighttime crackhouse useless brakes "meaning to stop"
you won't
the thing that drives this is not a cold turkey fix
unless you have an 18-point plan that will prevent you from returning to the circuit, this was just a thought experiment
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Date: October 22nd, 2018 5:50 PM Author: khaki background story One thought is to share my phone location with my Wife so I'm forced to be honest. But that will stop me from lying about lots of the less-problematic shirt I lie about.
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Date: October 22nd, 2018 5:56 PM Author: Insecure Coiffed Hall as stated earlier I think you need to stop lying to your wife altogether. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4112336&forum_id=2#37074296) |
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Date: October 22nd, 2018 6:13 PM Author: khaki background story TITCR. The only things I really lie about are (1) cheating, (2) drug use, and (3) prescription drug use (Vyvanyse and ocasional Cialis), and (4) how late I stay out when she's not around.
(2) does not really count, since she vaguely knows that i casually use drugs -- just not the extent.
(3) I don't actively lie about -- I just don't tell her about it.
(4) Won't be too hard to solve. |
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Date: October 22nd, 2018 7:39 PM Author: Pungent unholy senate coffee pot lollèrcaust (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4112336&forum_id=2#37074798) |
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Date: October 22nd, 2018 8:04 PM Author: khaki background story How are your sexual exploits going? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4112336&forum_id=2#37074952) |
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Date: October 22nd, 2018 8:06 PM Author: Pungent unholy senate coffee pot only have 2 girls in the harem now
things have been slow for a while. its all good |
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Date: October 22nd, 2018 8:39 PM Author: khaki background story I already have a work trip planned that I am flying out for a day early specifically to cheatmo.
How should I spend my extra time? In the past when I tried to cut back on cheating during work trips I just get drunk at bars. Don't want to do that bc of the hangover. |
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Date: November 15th, 2018 7:41 PM Author: khaki background story Still have no cheatmoed.
You brejs proud? |
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Date: March 6th, 2019 9:16 PM Author: khaki background story Not going great. I fucked two chicks in December and one in early January.
None since then. So I'm 2 months cock-sober.
Hopefully I can keep it up. |
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Date: March 6th, 2019 9:20 PM Author: ocher mad cow disease Kill yourself (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4112336&forum_id=2#37890268) |