Craziest thing that's ever happened to you?
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Date: December 4th, 2020 9:23 PM Author: Buff field
that means it wasn't a random mugger and was something bizarre like a dog stabbing you
EDIT: outted
https://twitter.com/PharaohOW/status/1269420602877771777
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4705053&forum_id=2#41488113) |
Date: December 4th, 2020 9:39 PM Author: Narrow-minded mentally impaired immigrant trump supporter
Came incredibly close to shooting a camouflaged hunter in a tree stand
I was hunting grouse, wearing blaze orange and walking around making all kinds of noise. A grouse flushed, I fired, and from the *exact* direct that I shot, I heard a guy start yelling. He sounded more pissed off than hurt so I just GTFO of there. He was pretty close but the cover was thick & I never actually saw the guy.
Out of all the fucking trees in the woods...
It was public land, but a VERY remote part of northern WI. Didn't even see any cars on our drive in; I had zero idea that there was even anyone else around for miles
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4705053&forum_id=2#41488190) |
Date: December 4th, 2020 10:22 PM Author: Charcoal stirring hell
It began on a sunny day in California, the day of my grandfather's funeral. Following the service, I wanted to go on a hike to clear my head and my boyfriend and sister came with me. Boyfriend and I were in college, my younger sister was in high school. We walked along the river through the redwoods, certain there was no way we could get lost. How can you get lost walking along a river? Somehow on the return trip, we did. So it's getting dark and we see the highway in the distance but it's behind a fence with a LOT of trespassing signs. I say fuck it, let's just climb the fence, cross their land and get to the highway. Just as we get over the fence this guy in a fucking GOLF cart (to this day I have no idea why he was in a golf cart) sees us and starts yelling. Within minutes we are surrounded by people with guns asking us wtf we are doing on their land. We apologize profusely, climb over the fence and try to find our way back. Turns out the river split and by retracing our steps we figured this out late into the night, hours later.
So we finally find our way back, get back in my dead grandfather's car (borrowed it to go on the hike) and head home. We get home, my shoes and clothes are soaking wet from crossing the river, I'm freezing cold, I end up wearing some slippers and a sweater that belong to my grandfather's widow. My parents start this massive fight and threaten to get violent. My sister says she wants to leave with my boyfriend and I. Someone calls the cops. So now I'm standing there in old lady slippers, wearing an old lady sweater 3x too big, talking to the cops about a domestic dispute.
The next morning, we find out my parent's rental car was stolen overnight. Literally nothing like this has ever happened to me before or after. Shit gets kookie in California.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4705053&forum_id=2#41488356) |
Date: December 5th, 2020 12:28 AM Author: pale karate private investor
saw a gay guy who sort of stalked me years later when i was getting my haircut.
when i was in college i had an internship and the block near the office was under construction. one day im leaving work and walking to the t. i have my headphones in but see some dude in his 40s running across the street while cars are coming by, one beeps at him and he's running right towards me. as soon as he comes up to me he shakes my hand and says my haircut looks great and asks where i get my hair cut and i tell him the place. i start to keep walking to the t station but he keeps following and immediately brags about banging a lot of girls and working out. then before i went into the station he gives me his business card and tells me to text him if i ever want to work out with him. i get on the train. go home.
next day dude is waiting there and goes through basically the same thing--just sort of trailing me talking about CHICKS and LIFTING constantly and about how he has a bunch of close friends who are college aged/right out of college who he BANGS CHICKS and LIFTS WEIGHTS with and tells me to text him and go to the gym with him. says hes from the town over so it would be easy to meet up and gives me another business card. the town hes from is around 30-40 mins away.
cut out of work early since its friday, weekend goes by, next few days that week i go to a different station to take the t home. eventually he shows up again, we go through the same ordeal.
soon the internship ends. finish up next few years of college, out of school for a while, and then i go to get my hair cut. some dude walks in--hair looks weird as shit--and as soon as i see him i feel like i recognize him and he asks the lady next to me if she can take him after she finishes cutting the guys hair. she says he has an appointment and he storms out. afterwards she talks to another barber about how weird the guy is and how he doesnt let them cut the top of his hair because he only cuts it himself and other weird shit. at one point someone says he's from the town that guy is from and someone else says why does he go to this barbershop because he lives 40 minutes away or whatever and then someone says his name.
at that moment all at once i realized some gay construction guy a few towns over had been going to the same barbershop i mentioned to him for literally years most likely so he could bump into me and be an autistic fart knocker and talk about weights or whatever. felt weird as shit.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4705053&forum_id=2#41488888) |
Date: December 5th, 2020 12:56 AM Author: Canary spot crotch
1. One Saturday morning, just before dawn, I was driving on the I-10 near downtown Phoenix, when a car raced down the on ramp near me and lost control when their right wheels went in the landscaping gravel on the side of the road. The car yawed right, started rolling, and threw the (presumably drunk) driver a couple dozen feet into the air.
2. A neighbor a few houses down from me in high school got pissed at his wife, doused the interior of the house in gasoline, and blew the fucker apart. 2x4s blasted into the walls of the neighboring houses. Their fat yellow lab got singed, and we took care of her for a few weeks while the wife (who wasn't home at the time) looked for a new place to live.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4705053&forum_id=2#41488955) |
Date: December 5th, 2020 1:44 AM Author: Navy azn factory reset button
1. I was walking around Golden Gate Park with my parents when they were visiting. My dad is fairly naive about homeless people, drugs, violence, etc. but is also easily spooked. My mom is more tuned in. There was a weird homeless guy in the bushes dressed in camo with twigs and leaves taped to him. He was probably 25 yards away from us. He peeked up over a big log, saw my mom and me looking over in his direction, and then quickly crouched back down. My mom and I looked at each other, and knowing my dad would freak out, kept our mouths shut and continued walking.
We kept walking around, spent an hour on the paddle boats, and then were retracing our steps back to the car, but when we got back near where the homeless guy had been, the path was blocked off with police tape and an SFPD officer directing us to find another path. We did and circled around to the other side, and there was an SF Coroner van and a bunch of cops.
I kept searching news sites and looking at the crime map to see what had happened but nothing was ever reported. Not sure if he killed himself or someone else. Was pretty freaky. We never told my dad.
2. I was a young teenager (13?) on a mall date. Was pissing at JC Penney and noticed a hole in the stall wall with an eye looking at me standing there. Was weirded out but didn’t tell a manager or security - just got out of there.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4705053&forum_id=2#41489100) |
Date: December 5th, 2020 11:26 AM Author: Vigorous blathering locus hissy fit
1) used to have a job merchandising/selling to truck stops. i did training in midwest and remember going into this truckstop in gary indiana. in the bathroom, all of the stall doors were cut in half so you could see trucks pinched faces while they were taking shits. when i asked why, the employees said there was this rogue gay dude who was terrorizign the bathrooms, drilling holes in the stall walls and shoving his cock through. no one could catch him. somehow the retarded employees thought this would stop it.
anyways, returned to the truck stop a few weeks later. its important to note that truckstop had a 'drop ceiling', like if you pressed up you could lift up tiles on the ceiling. the employees told me that one day the ceiling in the trucker showers collapsed and a wiry man fell to the floor covered in dust. he managed to slip away. when they looked above the drop ceiling they found all sorts of porn magazines, candybar wrappers he had stolen from the store, cumrags, etc. i guess this gay dude had taken up residence in the ceiling of a gary indiana truckstop and was peeping on shitting truckers, showers for months.
2) during childhood i lived in midsized town in PNW. these aging hippies moved into our suburban neighborhood and painted their entire property lavendar purple - this included the sidewalk, driveway, and spraypainting the grass purple. one day i came home from school and there were police, swat teams all over our street. the male hippie had put on a 'bomb vest' and was holding his wife at gunpoint in his garage. this played out over 4-5 hours and was eventually de-escalated. it turns out that he had rolled up pieces of newspaper and painted them red to look like dynamite and added details with aluminum foil.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4705053&forum_id=2#41490090) |
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Date: December 5th, 2020 11:41 AM Author: Vigorous blathering locus hissy fit
3 ) another story from truck stop job. had this indian customer who owned a store in a ghetto part of SE texas town. he ran a payday loan booth out of his store, and would also 'put money out on the streets' (i.e. lend money to nigs to buy large quantities of drugs to sell).
one night his store got raided by a gang and he got in a massive shootout with the owner. it went on for over an hour - the police in that part of town were mostly black/mexican and hated indian owned businesses, so they just parked outside and watched. the security camera footage the customers showed me was surreal. one of the nigs hid in the oil/fuel additive aisle. there was a nearby novelty t-shirt rack. the nig was desperately trying to create a molotov cocktail by tying the novelty t-shirts that said things like 'i don't skinny dip, i chunky dunk' w/ a picture of a fat curvey woman to gallons of lucasoil and setting them on fire with a bic. eventually the clerk at the store shot and killed one of the nigs and the others ran off.
the next day the owner called me to the store, and asked me to create fake invoices for thousands of dollars of damaged goods and displays so he could submit them to insurance.
anyways, the same gang returned a few weeks later and executed the guy working the night shift. turns out this was the owner's uncle and he had a life insurance policy out for him. the owner cashed the insurance check and never sent money to the uncle's impoverished kids who lived back in india(which created a lot of additional drama)
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4705053&forum_id=2#41490172)
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Date: December 5th, 2020 12:19 PM Author: Pea-brained cordovan dysfunction
Another student officer I worked with used to tell me about satanic worship stuff that would go on in a part of the state. We went up one weekend that he said had some wiccan or what ever holiday. I thought he was full of shit but assumed it'd be fun to road trip, get to fuck around off road, etc.
Turned out there actually was a decent size group that met and figured out we were out there. Some 4 wheel ATV thing drove around near where we were hiding out and the three of us had a very real conversation regarding if we'd have to possibly shoot our way out of the situation (this was very remote and we could have been 'disappeared' easily). We ended up walking back to the truck eying the spot where we think ATV dude was hiding behind and driving off.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4705053&forum_id=2#41490352) |
Date: December 5th, 2020 12:37 PM Author: Charismatic wagecucks
I was playing disc golf with my friend and our dogs in a city park a couple years ago when a moose ran across our path, around 10 feet in front of me. It looked spooked but I'm not sure what had spooked it, since neither dog was harassing it. After crossing the trail, the moose ran about 15 yards up a hill and stopped. This is pretty typical stuff for Alaska, so I didn't think much of it until it attacked.
After a brief pause on the hill, the moose came running back towards the trail. I ran behind a tree with just enough time to see the moose raise up on its hind legs to stomp my friend's 15 year old deaf and blind dog. It tried to hit her with both its front and hind legs, but fortunately none of the hits were direct and the dog escaped injury. I drew my ultralight .357 revolver loaded with .38 special Hornady Critical Defense rounds as the moose continued into the brush obscuring my dog from sight.
My dog is a breed closely related to the Karelian bear dog and, like the Karelian, her breed uses speed and agility to hunt bear and other large game. I wasn't too worried about her since she could easily run circles around the moose, assuming that she recognized it as a threat. Well what she makes up in speed and beauty, she lacks in brains, and she didn't get out of the way. I heard her yelp and raised the firearm. The moose didn't pause to stomp, so I called my dog over and we began moving out of the area.
Moose aren't typically aggressive and tend to leave you alone after they've chased you off. Even so, I wasn't going to turn my back to it or holster the firearm while it was still nearby. We made it about 30 yards before the moose circled around and charged my dog again. I wasn't going to let the moose get anywhere near her this time, so I aimed in front of it and pulled the trigger, breaking the charge.
My friend called both dogs to follow him and sprinted up the trail with them while I watched the moose. I figured there was no way the moose was going to charge again now that the dogs were gone and I was walking backwards out of the area, but this was one aggressive fuckin moose. It charged me again, even though the dogs were pretty far away by this point and we'd been trying to get away from it since the initial encounter. If we had been anywhere outside the city, I would have shot it in the face, but shooting a moose in a city park would be front page news, even in Alaska, so I aimed between its legs and pulled the trigger, scaring the moose enough to once again break her charge.
I caught up with my friend but didn't holster the firearm until we were at least 150 yards from the scene of the first encounter. Once out of harm's way we decided to get out of the area since the cops were almost certainly on the way and, while I would definitely report having killed a moose, I wanted to avoid answering any questions about having discharged a firearm within city limits.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4705053&forum_id=2#41490429) |
Date: December 5th, 2020 2:27 PM Author: maroon love of her life legend
was at an airshow/fly in as a kid with dad. it was the last day and lots of planes leaving. picture like 20-30 small planes lining up on taxi way and i was 20-30 feet away.
the first plane was a small home built 2 seater with a pilot/co-pilot in the front. behind it was some enormous old WW2 plane with huge propeller.
this WW2 plane taxied straight into small plane. planes was shreded like a weedwhacker on grass. passenger was shreded. pilot was able to walk. must of had his seat 6 inches further up or something. crazy he survived. remember him in shock sitting in half a plane with the engine still running and some dude running to the plane to cut the engine/drag him out.
we were running. remember looking at the area with binoculars later and saw them picking up a body part.
same airshow two years later some another deadly crash when a plane was landing.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4705053&forum_id=2#41490893)
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Date: December 6th, 2020 5:42 AM Author: Plum violent space
Got a few stories...
1. Last year my wife was stuck in the middle of the 'terrorist' incident near London Bridge - https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/live/2019/nov/29/london-bridge-incident-police-city I was at work and my wife called panicked with the sounds of screaming in the background. She was in the pack running away from the attacker and took shelter in a pub that then locked all their doors. I told my boss why I was leaving for the day and he sat there shocked. I ran across town to find the police had shutdown all the streets surrounding my wife and evacuated everyone they could. Wife was still stuck in the pub in the middle but she didnt have reception or her phone was dead. I heard gunshots and an explosion a few blocks away and I said fuck it and ran down an alley to where I thought I could get through to the pub. Cop tried to stop me from a block away but he didnt run after me. I made it to the back of the pub just as the attacker was killed on London Bridge. They opened the pub doors just as I got there and wife and I hightailed it to the next pub we could, grabbed a pint and tried to calm her coworkers down / figure out wtf just happened.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4705053&forum_id=2#41494251) |
Date: December 6th, 2020 6:35 PM Author: Emerald adulterous faggot firefighter
A few years ago, while browsing around the library downtown, I had to take a piss. As I entered the john a big beautiful all-american football hero type, about twenty-five, came out of one of the booths. I stood at the urinal looking at him out of the corner of my eye as he washed his hands. He didn't once look at me. He was "straight" and married -- and in any case I was sure I wouldn't have a chance with him. As soon as he left I darted into the booth he'd vacated, hoping there might be a lingering smell of shit and even a seat still warm from his sturdy young ass. I found not only the smell but the shit itself. He'd forgotten to flush. And what a treasure he had left behind. Three or four beautiful specimens floated in the bowl. It apparently had been a fairly dry, constipated shit, for all were fat, stiff, and ruggedly textured. The real prize was a great feast of turd -- a nine inch gastrointestinal triumph as thick as a man's wrist. I knelt before the bowl, inhaling the rich brown fragrance and wondered if I should obey the impulse building up inside me. I'd always been a heavy rimmer and had lapped up more than one little clump of shit, but that had been just an inevitable part of eating ass and not an end in itself. Of course I'd had jerk-off fantasies of devouring great loads of it (what rimmer hasn't), but I had never done it. Now, here I was, confronted with the most beautiful five-pound turd I'd ever feasted my eyes on, a sausage fit to star in any fantasy and one I knew to have been hatched from the asshole of the world's handsomest young stud. Why not? I plucked it from the bowl, holding it with both hands to keep it from breaking. I lifted it to my nose. It smelled like rich, ripe limburger (horrid, but thrilling), yet had the consistency of cheddar. What is cheese anyway but milk turning to shit without the benefit of a digestive tract? I gave it a lick and found that it tasted better then it smelled. I've found since then that shit nearly almost does. I hesitated no longer. I shoved the fucking thing as far into my mouth as I could get it and sucked on it like a big brown cock, beating my meat like a madman. I wanted to completely engulf it and bit off a large chunk, flooding my mouth with the intense, bittersweet flavor. To my delight I found that while the water in the bowl had chilled the outside of the turd, it was still warm inside. As I chewed I discovered that it was filled with hard little bits of something I soon identified as peanuts. He hadn't chewed them carefully and they'd passed through his body virtually unchanged. I ate it greedily, sending lump after peanutty lump sliding scratchily down my throat. My only regret was the donor of this feast wasn't there to wash it down with his piss. I soon reached a terrific climax. I caught my cum in the cupped palm of my hand and drank it down. Believe me, there is no more delightful combination of flavors than the hot sweetness of cum with the rich bitterness of shit. Afterwards I was sorry that I hadn't made it last longer. But then I realized that I still had a lot of fun in store for me. There was still a clutch of virile turds left in the bowl. I tenderly fished them out, rolled them into my hankerchief, and stashed them in my briefcase. In the week to come I found all kinds of ways to eat the shit without bolting it right down. Once eaten it's gone forever unless you want to filch it third hand out of your own asshole. Not an unreasonable recourse in moments of desperation or simple boredom. I stored the turds in the refrigerator when I was not using them but within a week they were all gone. The last one I held in my mouth without chewing, letting it slowly dissolve. I had liquid shit trickling down my throat for nearly four hours. I must have had six orgasms in the process. I often think of that lovely young guy dropping solid gold out of his sweet, pink asshole every day, never knowing what joy it could, and at least once did, bring to a grateful shiteater.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4705053&forum_id=2#41496953) |
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