Date: April 19th, 2024 5:07 PM
Author: scarlet electric institution
https://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-13328767/Taylor-Swift-worst-lyrics-ranked-cringe-tortured-poets-department.html
10.
'God save the most judgmental creeps / Who say they want what's best for me / Sanctimoniously performing soliloquies I'll never see'
Track: 'But Daddy I Love Him'
What in the thesaurus?
Bizarrely, this song seems to be aimed at fans who took umbrage at her short-lived romance with accused-racist Matty Healy.
Surprise Swifties! Now you have your own song about how much Taylor wants to break up…. with you!
9.
'Now I'm down bad, crying at the gym'
Track: 'Down Bad'
For those not aged 15 or under – to be 'down bad' is to be shamelessly keen for a sexual relationship. Taylor Swift is 34.
8.
'His hands so calloused from his pistol softly traces hearts on my face'
Track: 'I Can Fix Him (No Really I Can)'
Really, Taylor? Are we honestly to believe Indie rocker nepo-baby Matthew Timothy Healy, son of British daytime TV host Denise Welch, is that much of a bad boy?
7.
'Who's afraid of little old me?... You should be'
Track: 'Who's Afraid of Little Old Me?'
Petrifying, Tay Tay! What's truly scary is how uninspired these lyrics are.
6.
'Touch me while your bros play Grand Theft Auto'
Track: 'So High School'
Reminder that these are the 'poems' of a woman approaching 40 years old.
5.
'My friends all smell like weed or little babies'
Track: 'Florida!!!'
Die-hard fans are highlighting this line for its particular genius. Smells desperate to me...
4.
'I'm an Aston Martin that you steered straight into the ditch / Then ran and hid'
Track: 'imgonnagetyouback'
Aston Martin! She's just like you and me!
3.
'You're not Dylan Thomas / I'm not Patti Smith / This ain't the Chelsea Hotel / We're modern idiots'
Track: 'The Tortured Poets Department'
I guess being self-aware counts for something, right?
2.
'We would pick a decade / We wished we could live in instead of this / I'd say the 1830s but without all the racists'
Track: 'I Hate It Here'
Beyond parody. This is one of the lyrics that I had to wait for the official release to check if it was real.
If no critic can muster the courage to call out this crap, I will officially believe that Swift is paying them all off.
1.
'You smokŠµd, then ate seven bars of chocolate / We declared Charlie Puth should be a bigger artist / I scratch your head, you fall asleep / Like a tattooed golden retriever'
Track: 'The Tortured Poets Department'
No contest. Maybe the worst set of lyrics I have ever laid eyes on.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5519360&forum_id=2#47596076)