Date: February 14th, 2007 7:54 PM
Personally, I love the remark about the "Asian fetish". As if she doesn't have a white sausage fetish.
Sex and the Indy
One-on-one with sex blogger Lena Chen.
By Susana Bejar
In six months as the author of the blog Sex and the Ivy (sexandtheivy.com), Lena Chen has earned notoriety as Harvardís foremost sex blogger. Just in time for Valentine's Day, the Independent sat down with Chen to talk sex and love.
Do you have any special Valentineís Day plans?
No, I donít. This is kind of pathetic. It says a lot about my love life at this point. Guys are welcome to ask me out.
Does it bother you that you arenít in love?
It doesnít bother me as much as it has in previous years. Itís not super-serious. I donít feel unloved. I was pretty decidedly single before. This Valentineís Day, Iím not totally single. I have a lot of love to go around. My love is not restricted to one person.
Any Valentineís Day advice for our readers?
Donít be alone, because youíll probably want to kill yourself. Itís like not going home for Thanksgiving (I donít get this, butÖ whatev) or staying home on prom night. It seems all right; oh, Iíll just rent a movie. No! Donít do it!
What is your opinion of Valentineís Day in general?
Everyone celebrates it and everyone feels affected by it. Itís kind of like Christmas: even if you are Jewish and you donít celebrate it, everyone around you is, and itís extremely commercial. It makes my male friends think of dating in a more strategic manner. They think, ďOh, if we start dating before Valentineís Day, then we have to give them presents.Ē Itís become more obligation than anything else.
Is there anything you want to tell Harvard on this Valentineís Day?
Love me. (Laughs.) I donít know. Please love me. Yeah.
What made you decide to do the blog?
Iíve blogged for a really long time, actually. What do little girls write about in their diaries? Boys. This is my grown-up diary. My friends have always read my writing.
What Iím doing is not very different. Itís just the audience itís being exposed to.
Is it true that you were outed? That is, that someone revealed your identity against your will?
No, because I use another name on the blog but I had it on my Facebook. I didnít expect it to be a huge, huge thing. Like I said, Iíve written a blog for years and my friends have always read my writing. That being said, Iím sure that considering the fact that a lot of people Facebook stalk, Iím sure someone else wouldíve outed me if I hadnít outed myself.
What part, if any, do you think that being Asian plays in what you write and your decision to be a sex blogger?
Iím definitely in a unique position. Itís called ďSex and the Ivy,Ē but itís not all about sex.
When people think of sex columnists, Sex and the City, people think of white women. If you look at the website ó all those pop culture influences of white females. I get very unique criticism ó I think that people are critical of the guys I date and the guys I sleep with in a way that they wouldnít be if I were white and I think that has to do with the fact that most of the guys I date are white. Then thereís the Asian fetish.
Itís also who people assume who I date and sleep with. I donít date only white guys. People reveal their own prejudices. One of the very prominent guys on the blog is not white. I donít describe the guys I date physically. I donít talk about their race. Everyone just makes the assumption I date white guys. And of course I get racist comments and stuff like that.
I noticed youíve been talking about your therapist and other very personal things on your blog. What made you decide to write such things in something advertised as a sex blog?
I never really viewed it as a sex blog. When I blogged before, it was like a diary. Thereís so much in there that has nothing to do with sex. I didnít want to censor myself just because other people were reading it. Iím not embarrassed about the fact that Iím seeing a therapist. For some people, I understand that they prefer to keep that part of their lives private but itís something I would want my friends to know about.
Where do you see the blog going?
I donít see it changing much from its present form. I might be looking to write less. The blog is definitely a way I keep up with my friends at Harvard in a way that I couldnít before and thatís what blogging was for me in high school. Just a way for me to keep up with friends. Iíve been blogging all my life. Iíll definitely keep writing. The question is at what point will I meet someone important in my life who doesnít want me to blog, when things will get too personal.
Susana Bejar '08 (sbejar@fas) is more an obligation than anything else.