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chat live with a mormon missionary is working !!!!

Go to beta.mormon.org and click on the 'ask a question' sect...
rangerlaw
  05/02/07
lol, i will try doing this with live westlaw chat and see wh...
NYLS 2L
  05/02/07
I tried it and some bitch named Steve sent me the same link ...
:;;;;.............,.,.,.,..,,,,,,,,,,,..,.,.,.,.,.
  05/02/07
Settled for the direct approach
Niggers Have a 180 on the COCKSAT
  05/05/07
It's obvious these Mormons are not up for direct serious tal...
Hooked on Eugenics
  05/06/07
Yes, the level of bullshit they spew is ridiculous, even if ...
Niggers Have a 180 on the COCKSAT
  05/07/07
xoxo should be able to take down this feature in 72 hours
lawschooldesire
  05/02/07
where have you been?
done and done
  05/02/07
lurking....although I post every now and then
lawschooldesire
  05/02/07
Hello Richard, how may we help you? Richard: Hi, I have a...
lawschooldesire
  05/02/07
Richard: Is there someone there that knows enough to answer ...
fulano
  05/02/07
you people are evil
done and done
  05/02/07
tyty
@323##322
  05/05/07
incredibly hilarious
there\'s a wocket in my pocket
  05/02/07
I like the Jacob Smith part...hilarious!!!
rangerlaw
  05/02/07
You should definitely get a prize for that.
..........,,...........,................
  05/02/07
Wow, I actually think Steve comes off a lot better than Rich...
Solzhenitsyn
  05/03/07
Jason: How may I help you? Joe: Hi Jason. Yesterday I wat...
rangerlaw
  05/02/07
A++++++++++++ would read again!
NYLS 2L
  05/02/07
What a weasel.
..........,,...........,................
  05/02/07
weasels: never forget http://www.xoxohth.com/thre...
.... .
  05/05/07
Honestly, this chat thing can only end badly. Why are they ...
done and done
  05/02/07
No more memorizing discussions = IM TIME!
Poontonimous
  05/03/07
stab #2 Steve: Hello Charles, how may I help you? charl...
rangerlaw
  05/02/07
180 for the last line, awesome. I hadn't even put that toge...
done and done
  05/02/07
A++++++++++++++
:;;;;.............,.,.,.,..,,,,,,,,,,,..,.,.,.,.,.
  05/02/07
Nice attempt, but much like the young lion that chases witho...
Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer
  05/02/07
although I am officially retired.... Steve: Hello Chad, ...
dannieb
  05/02/07
hey sarcaschtick, why don't you give it a try?
rangerlaw
  05/02/07
at work, I'll have to pass for now
done and done
  05/02/07
Gerald Henderson: Hail, brother. Steve: Has transferr...
there\'s a wocket in my pocket
  05/02/07
'May the wind always be at your back adventurer' I just p...
done and done
  05/02/07
...
.....,.....,......,.,.,.,.,.,....,.,.,..,.,...,.
  05/03/07
please?
loafer
  05/03/07
nice. appreciate the wind line at the end as well
fulano
  05/02/07
well played
rangerlaw
  05/02/07
180.
Moonshine Hi11bi11y
  05/02/07
Niiiiiiice.
:;;;;.............,.,.,.,..,,,,,,,,,,,..,.,.,.,.,.
  05/02/07
Congratulations, you made me laugh for the first time in 5 d...
Handmaid
  05/02/07
Same. The "The Church does not look down on interracia...
Chicken voting for Colonel Sanders
  05/04/07
I'm still laughing as I type this. Awesome.
..........,,...........,................
  05/02/07
"Gerald Henderson: Ok, so no anal until I talk to my...
An Army of Liberal Lawyers
  05/02/07
Fantastic
Lucky Wang
  05/02/07
This is made entirely of WIN!
sarcaschtick\'s Betrayed Mother
  05/02/07
beautiful.
adalia
  05/02/07
"Can you see my computer megahurtz and that kind of thi...
Poontonimous
  05/03/07
180^180^180
lookthengo
  05/03/07
good job d00d.
A Simple Asian Man
  05/03/07
god damn that was good i love the "hth" stuck i...
loafer
  05/03/07
holy fuck that was great
C+C™
  05/04/07
INSPIRED!!!
@323##322
  05/05/07
Awesome
newusername
  05/06/07
180
Hooked on Eugenics
  05/06/07
I don't really approve of this thread, but still, authentic ...
OP
  05/07/07
AMAZING A+A+A+A+A+A+A+A+ I am so glad to be reading th...
pretzel
  09/28/07
I'm 6 months late, but this gets a 180. "May the wi...
PeterGunz
  11/11/07
oh god im hyperventilating im laughing so much
....,,.....,...,,...,..,...,,,...,,...,
  11/19/07
gj
My
  03/06/08
Brandon: Has transferred you to: Craig: How may I help yo...
rangerlaw
  05/02/07
Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww. Bryce D: Hello, how may I help y...
:;;;;.............,.,.,.,..,,,,,,,,,,,..,.,.,.,.,.
  05/02/07
'I actually just talked to someone about this'
done and done
  05/02/07
I started to laugh at that point
rangerlaw
  05/02/07
Wow. Awesome follow-up.
there\'s a wocket in my pocket
  05/02/07
Kevin: This is Kevin from the Church of Jesus Christ of Lat...
dannieb
  05/02/07
You are speaking live with Adrian, who is a member of The Ch...
lawschooldesire
  05/02/07
"should i perform blood atonement on her?" gave me...
Evan3000
  05/02/07
You inspired me.
Well Done Roundhouse Flame
  05/03/07
Steve: How may I help you? Bob: Hi Steve! I saw the P...
Niggers Have a 180 on the COCKSAT
  05/02/07
"Bob", we have been receiving a number of spam mes...
there\'s a wocket in my pocket
  05/02/07
LOLlerskates!
@323##322
  05/05/07
HOLY SHIT 180^180.
:;;;;.............,.,.,.,..,,,,,,,,,,,..,.,.,.,.,.
  05/02/07
this should be a winner. can I have your permission to po...
dannieb
  05/02/07
Go for it.
Niggers Have a 180 on the COCKSAT
  05/02/07
Bob: You mean like the oaths taken in a Skull and Bones meet...
sarcaschtick\'s Betrayed Mother
  05/02/07
the prayer has me cracking up.
adalia
  05/02/07
this will certainly accumulate many 180s.
NYLS 2L
  05/02/07
one to the fucking eighty
lookthengo
  05/03/07
Fantastic work.
Lucky Wang
  05/05/07
This one will be tough to top.
Barry \"Obama\" Gibson
  05/19/07
Craig: Has transferred you to: Bryson: Hi, thank you fo...
rangerlaw
  05/02/07
underrated
reverse commute
  05/05/07
Barnes & noble = 180
godofprestige
  05/05/07
...
DeanRobbins395
  03/07/08
Morgan: Hello. How may I help you? carlo: hello i h...
rangerlaw
  05/02/07
from my roommate Brandon: Thank you for contacting the...
rangerlaw
  05/02/07
Wow, was this all bullshit or is your roomate actually a gay...
MrJackson
  05/02/07
another one from my roommate: Ryan: Hello, How may I hel...
rangerlaw
  05/02/07
Bryson: Has transferred you to: Lucy: Hi! Brandon: How...
dannieb
  05/02/07
Adam: How can I help you? Mark: Yes, I had a question. A...
dannieb
  05/02/07
Mckay: Hello, How can I help you? 174: I have a quest...
174
  05/02/07
I was laughing.....good reference to the Branch Davidians (w...
dannieb
  05/02/07
Ty. I got booted again as soon as I said it. Luckily I don't...
174
  05/02/07
the tubgirl reference was priceless
dannieb
  05/02/07
The only problem is that they're pretty well-trained to bloc...
174
  05/02/07
well, my IP address is now banned
dannieb
  05/02/07
Proxies, my good friend.
174
  05/02/07
www.torrify.com
:;;;;.............,.,.,.,..,,,,,,,,,,,..,.,.,.,.,.
  05/02/07
In progress, been waiting for a response for a few minutes: ...
there\'s a wocket in my pocket
  05/02/07
BUAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHHHAHHAHAAAAHAHHAH!!! 180^180
WhatNow?
  05/03/07
fucking beautiful. this thread has made you one of my favori...
lookthengo
  05/03/07
Steve: Hello, may I help you? Dean: Hey, I've been ...
done and done
  05/02/07
I am sort of disappointed in you.....I thought that you woul...
dannieb
  05/02/07
All the good stuff had been taken. Also, they were deadly i...
done and done
  05/02/07
Why were they so quickly dismissive of your seemingly innocu...
Dr. Science
  05/02/07
I don't know, they started off hardball when I even mentione...
done and done
  05/02/07
Frankly, I expected a lot more. You gotta reverse engineer t...
An Army of Liberal Lawyers
  05/02/07
no joke, I did awful
done and done
  05/03/07
if at first you don't succeed... come on dood, you've got...
loafer
  05/05/07
...
Whamo
  05/02/07
don't talk about pussy with the missionaries...
Medea
  05/02/07
Joe: How may I help you? Todd: My mother was raped and ki...
Dr. Science
  05/02/07
give xoxo another day or two and we will shut down the chat ...
dannieb
  05/02/07
...
Evan3000
  05/02/07
Jason: How may I help you? Gen. Nathan: Good Evening Jas...
Man O\' War
  05/02/07
...
Evan3000
  05/02/07
I think that we need to get Rach to put up a STICKY on this ...
dannieb
  05/02/07
Haha, the chat is link dead.
there\'s a wocket in my pocket
  05/02/07
It is working for me
dannieb
  05/02/07
it's only active through 9pm central time
Evan3000
  05/02/07
180 points if someone gets them to click a tubgirl link.
WhatNow?
  05/03/07
http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&for...
loafer
  05/05/07
it is open for today
dannieb
  05/03/07
Pretending to be a girl finally got the Mormon's attn
Well Done Roundhouse Flame
  05/03/07
The ending was worth the wait.
there\'s a wocket in my pocket
  05/03/07
well played good chap. I was waiting in eager anticipatio...
dannieb
  05/03/07
I had a nice flame set up, but they banned me before I could...
there\'s a wocket in my pocket
  05/03/07
180 points to anyone that gets them to open a tubgirl pic
dannieb
  05/03/07
Pwning Justin AGAIN
Well Done Roundhouse Flame
  05/03/07
TY. Now I feel sorry for Justin.
:;;;;.............,.,.,.,..,,,,,,,,,,,..,.,.,.,.,.
  05/03/07
Yeah, me too...sort of. Luck of the draw, he came up again....
Well Done Roundhouse Flame
  05/03/07
dude, I almost shat my boxers!!! You are awesome. I hope y...
dannieb
  05/03/07
I was sorry that I missed this yesterday. I am now trying t...
Well Done Roundhouse Flame
  05/03/07
seriously, send them a tubgirl pic the next time you chat
dannieb
  05/03/07
Give me a decent disguised link (i.e., one they might plausi...
Well Done Roundhouse Flame
  05/03/07
I doubt the dude has ever heard of tubgirl..... just ask ...
dannieb
  05/03/07
DONE!
Well Done Roundhouse Flame
  05/03/07
reaction?
Crimson Staff Writer
  05/03/07
MISSION ACCOMPLISHED. See below. I figured out how to disg...
Well Done Roundhouse Flame
  05/03/07
No one has mentioned Mormon underwear yet?
Moses Malone
  05/03/07
McKay: "Bob", we have been receiving a number of ...
hizzlardass
  05/03/07
my fave: "f I join your church, will I have to give ...
A Simple Asian Man
  05/03/07
STEVE bites the dust....
Well Done Roundhouse Flame
  05/03/07
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! that's some excellent tubgirl pwn...
Crimson Staff Writer
  05/03/07
EPIC 180 one of my favorite threads ever
lookthengo
  05/03/07
I laughed so hard that I started to see stars "This ...
dannieb
  05/03/07
This is too good to be real.
Dr. Science
  05/03/07
Honestly, I almost didn't expect him to click. Thought he w...
Well Done Roundhouse Flame
  05/03/07
My favorite one so far
TPR droid hater
  05/03/07
i can't believe tubgirling is still funny, but it is. it re...
Sweep the Leg Johnny
  05/03/07
Wow. Just incredible.
there\'s a wocket in my pocket
  05/03/07
Well done.
S.S. Big Changes
  05/03/07
good
nappypooz
  05/03/07
That works
fulano
  05/03/07
You are a fucking legend, sir. 180.
:;;;;.............,.,.,.,..,,,,,,,,,,,..,.,.,.,.,.
  05/03/07
harrassing mormons shouldn't be so hilarious. but it is. wel...
Evan3000
  05/03/07
god damn, well done
loafer
  05/03/07
Holyshitonefuckingeighty!!!! I'm almost embarrassed to po...
Niggers Have a 180 on the COCKSAT
  05/04/07
brilliant. utterly brilliant.
adalia
  05/04/07
180^180^180^180^180^180 Still can't top this tubgirl pwna...
Hooked on Eugenics
  05/04/07
Perfect 180.
Lucky Wang
  05/05/07
HOLY FUCK THAT WAS HILARIOUS
[[account deleted]]
  05/05/07
brilliant!
@323##322
  05/05/07
Lexie: John, at this time, we are not taking any files, ...
Hamburgler
  05/05/07
Genius.
An Army of Liberal Lawyers
  05/06/07
AWESOME
analthendump
  05/17/07
Steve: Hello Bryson, how may i help you? Jennifer: ...
lookthengo
  05/03/07
This service is bullshit
Horny college senior
  05/03/07
Probably because Justin has already been pwn3d at least two ...
Well Done Roundhouse Flame
  05/03/07
Link?
S.S. Big Changes
  05/03/07
see above :)
@323##322
  05/06/07
Thanks a lot, you jerks. I can barely get anywhere now. I'...
Hooked on Eugenics
  05/03/07
hilarious shit
David Carr
  05/03/07
I am proud of all of you
rangerlaw
  05/03/07
After like 7 tries, this is the best I got. I'm apparently ...
done and done
  05/03/07
sarcaschtick, I was really surprised on how you took this. ...
dannieb
  05/03/07
i LOLed: Sarah: So, dotted or feathered indians? Carm...
VoodooChile
  05/09/07
They have a new tactic.
there\'s a wocket in my pocket
  05/03/07
I laughed at your Who's the Boss trolling.
Crimson Staff Writer
  05/03/07
Amazing. This may be the best so far.
MrJackson
  05/03/07
I don't vote that it is the best.....probably most original ...
dannieb
  05/03/07
This is awesome! I've already discussed my: troubles with f...
gobluelaw
  05/03/07
"how I don't feel anything after reading the BOM (at wh...
Poontonimous
  05/03/07
These guys are really on edge. I tried to frame myself such...
transferred to scranton
  05/03/07
I would love to know the discussions that the online chat mo...
dannieb
  05/03/07
"I got tubgirled!!"
@323##322
  05/05/07
what on earth is wrong with you people? they're just trying ...
t14 gunner
  05/03/07
it is a cult
dannieb
  05/03/07
I hope this is flame. "is it so terrible to give t...
gobluelaw
  05/03/07
Is there an IM program so complex that even God cannot opera...
Poontonimous
  05/03/07
I will never regret poking fun at the religious. After ...
Lucky Wang
  05/05/07
This is too fun...
gobluelaw
  05/03/07
good job....it would have been nicer if you could have devel...
dannieb
  05/03/07
I know, I think they're catching on. I had one shut me off ...
gobluelaw
  05/03/07
I wonder if they passed around the tubgirl pic. 180^180 to ...
dannieb
  05/03/07
Here to claim the prize.
Well Done Roundhouse Flame
  05/05/07
How do you copy and paste? I can't select the text from my ...
Poontonimous
  05/03/07
WTF?! I can't copy and paste this shit. And even after...
Poontonimous
  05/03/07
Yeah, it stopped working for me too for some reason. If you...
there\'s a wocket in my pocket
  05/03/07
I couldn't left or right click anything. Must be some bug. ...
Poontonimous
  05/03/07
Yes, they did that this morning, shortly after my first flam...
Well Done Roundhouse Flame
  05/03/07
I'll have to try that tomorrow after I'm done with my last f...
Poontonimous
  05/03/07
...
Evan3000
  05/03/07
I can't cut and paste anymore. But I'm having some great fu...
gobluelaw
  05/03/07
...
Evan3000
  05/03/07
Justin keeps kicking me off. If anyone gets him he needs to...
gobluelaw
  05/03/07
...
Evan3000
  05/03/07
He was so nice this morning. Maybe it's been a long, frustr...
Well Done Roundhouse Flame
  05/03/07
...
Evan3000
  05/03/07
Time to declare unrestricted submarine warfare on Justin?
Well Done Roundhouse Flame
  05/03/07
goatsed into oblivion
@323##322
  05/05/07
I'm using IE7 and I can't copy and paste. What browser are ...
Poontonimous
  05/03/07
...
Evan3000
  05/03/07
Why'd you delete everything, you little bitch?
Poontonimous
  05/06/07
I was just told that "WGWAG, while odd, isn't forbidden...
gobluelaw
  05/03/07
edit -> select all -> copy plz
lookthengo
  05/03/07
I can't copy, I don't know what's wrong. I've kept the chat...
gobluelaw
  05/03/07
http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&for...
Well Done Roundhouse Flame
  05/03/07
...
ego_requiro_vos
  05/03/07
That Justing guy has been there ALL fucking day. 80% of the ...
Horny college senior
  05/03/07
I know he's a bitch. I actually had a long conversation wit...
gobluelaw
  05/03/07
I talked with Emily.
Poontonimous
  05/03/07
Justin: Hello, how may I help you tonight? Joseph: Hello,...
Old Jeezy
  05/03/07
That is hilarious.
manutdrules
  05/03/07
*high five* copied straight off one of those nigerian spa...
Old Jeezy
  05/03/07
inspired.
adalia
  05/04/07
a hidden gem
there\'s a wocket in my pocket
  05/04/07
...
Whamo
  05/03/07
...
Evan3000
  05/03/07
...
Whamo
  05/03/07
Justin is a huge douche. I enjoy tormenting the Mormons mor...
gobluelaw
  05/03/07
Thank you for taking the time to chat with us and for your i...
Niggers Have a 180 on the COCKSAT
  05/04/07
what is cool is that after you accused him of racism he was ...
dannieb
  05/04/07
wow. this thread made my night. A+
snake_I
  05/04/07
This is only the beginning. I am going to make the best of ...
gobluelaw
  05/04/07
http://www.chatislam.com/
.,..,.,.,.,,,.,..,.,.,.,.,,.,.,.,..,.,.,,..,.,.
  05/04/07
Damn. So many rules. Still, probably deserves its own thre...
MrJackson
  05/04/07
http://www.jehovahswitnessonline.com/
.,..,.,.,.,,,.,..,.,.,.,.,,.,.,.,..,.,.,,..,.,.
  05/04/07
Not a live chat......
MrJackson
  05/04/07
http://www.askmoses.com/
A Simple Asian Man
  05/04/07
just wanted to say that i never laughed so much reading a th...
.................,............,...........,.......
  05/04/07
This thread alone is worth the ruin of GTO's career.
annie_econ
  05/04/07
I had no idea you were still around
done and done
  05/04/07
yes, if random normal people that come here because of the W...
snake_I
  05/04/07
The Mormons were asking for it.
Lucky Wang
  05/05/07
okay guys, get ready. Chat is live. I repeat, chat is live...
dannieb
  05/04/07
we have yet to hear anyone discuss mormon underwear or imper...
Moses Malone
  05/04/07
I think a chat involving a person who likes to borrow and we...
Poontonimous
  05/04/07
This shit has to go into a book or something
Moses Malone
  05/04/07
anyone have luck today? I haven't been able to get anywhere...
dannieb
  05/04/07
haha. proof that everything they say about lawyers is true.....
Diesel
  05/04/07
chill out dood
.,..,.,.,.,,,.,..,.,.,.,.,,.,.,.,..,.,.,,..,.,.
  05/04/07
That they're totally awesome?
Poontonimous
  05/05/07
I didn't get to harrass any Mormons today, I was busy all da...
gobluelaw
  05/05/07
Speak With a Missionary Thank you for taking the time to ch...
gobluelaw
  05/05/07
he should have banned you at "hooey lewis" (funny ...
dannieb
  05/05/07
I am probably on some Salt Lake City hit list now for this l...
Well Done Roundhouse Flame
  05/05/07
"John, at this time, we are not taking any files, espec...
.,..,.,.,.,,,.,..,.,.,.,.,,.,.,.,..,.,.,,..,.,.
  05/05/07
Lexie: Was that laugh really worth it? John: Yes...
@323##322
  05/05/07
Absolutely 180^(180^180)!!!! I'm astonished. They'll...
@323##322
  05/05/07
TIME TO ROLL OUT THE ASCII ART TUBGIRL!!! EDIT: ASCII tub...
sarcaschtick\'s Betrayed Mother
  05/05/07
If this doesn't bring down the site, nothing will. ASCIIp...
.... .
  05/05/07
someone should try copy-pasting ascii goatse just to make su...
sarcaschtick\'s Betrayed Mother
  05/05/07
* g o a t s e x * g o a t s e x * g o a t s e x * g ...
.... .
  05/05/07
worthless :(
.... .
  05/05/07
this is funny, tho http://asciigoatse.ytmnd.com/
.... .
  05/05/07
wait, is that how it shows up in the mormon chat window?
sarcaschtick\'s Betrayed Mother
  05/05/07
Bravo good chap!!! I suspect she is an older missionary, no...
dannieb
  05/05/07
You have a gift for this. One might even say you're god-tou...
:;;;;.............,.,.,.,..,,,,,,,,,,,..,.,.,.,.,.
  05/05/07
Obviously the next step is to direct them to pages with pict...
Hamburgler
  05/05/07
'it's some sort of a spire. winged figure' hahahahha
bellybath-ing
  05/06/07
amazing, amazing, amazing
loafer
  05/06/07
lolololo
analthendump
  05/17/07
I replaced my name with "me" me: I was curious ...
theblackening
  05/05/07
...
@323##322
  05/05/07
ok, for some reason probably having something to do with my ...
womanontop
  05/05/07
someone had to like it.....
theblackening
  05/06/07
lollerskates on the AI, and the eschatology... i just rea...
womanontop
  05/06/07
I was trying to get him to say "immanentize the eschato...
theblackening
  05/06/07
Here we go again...
Well Done Roundhouse Flame
  05/05/07
brilliant http://www.answers.com/topic/shock-site
@323##322
  05/05/07
Incredible execution. *****/5
Old Jeezy
  05/05/07
truly masterful
womanontop
  05/05/07
breathtakingly awesome
teabaggervance
  05/05/07
You are SO FUCKING GOOD 180^180
sarcaschtick\'s Betrayed Mother
  05/05/07
175
[[account deleted]]
  05/05/07
wow, ty
Evan3000
  05/05/07
i tried pasting the ascii goatse into the window and got thi...
sarcaschtick\'s Betrayed Mother
  05/05/07
too bad :-(
^%*$*
  05/05/07
How many legit chats do you think they get?
Hamburgler
  05/05/07
I was told by a stake president that they have already chalk...
dannieb
  05/05/07
...
gobluelaw
  05/05/07
i linked brandon to this thread. think they'll get pissed n...
MrJaneHoya
  05/05/07
you're not getting your own planet when you die
.,..,.,.,.,,,.,..,.,.,.,.,,.,.,.,..,.,.,,..,.,.
  05/05/07
more likely than any of you houligans. i did what was right...
MrJaneHoya
  05/05/07
ohhh, in that case...
.,..,.,.,.,,,.,..,.,.,.,.,,.,.,.,..,.,.,,..,.,.
  05/05/07
The irony is that they have been instructed not to click lin...
there\'s a wocket in my pocket
  05/05/07
haha
MrJaneHoya
  05/05/07
Taylor: Please stop abusing this service. Taylor: ...
.,..,.,.,.,,,.,..,.,.,.,.,,.,.,.,..,.,.,,..,.,.
  05/05/07
Oh, but he *is*! :D
%^&$^*$%^
  05/06/07
xoxo makes me proud *tears up*
rangerlaw
  05/05/07
Justin: Hellow, how may I help you today? C.C.: EVERYBODY...
Old Jeezy
  05/05/07
Stupid Justin...
gobluelaw
  05/05/07
I can't believe he talked to you after this: My friend ne...
dannieb
  05/05/07
Aha...so if you pose as an ESOL chatter, this lowers the Mo...
%^&$^*$%^
  05/06/07
Excellent discovery. This may be the next plan of attack.
Well Done Roundhouse Flame
  05/06/07
when did justin become so naive? i thought he was being a bi...
sarcaschtick\'s Betrayed Mother
  05/05/07
Justin just doesn't have the burning bosom
dannieb
  05/05/07
I think Justin was told to stop banning people so fast. I m...
gobluelaw
  05/05/07
tomorrow is fast & testimony.....I would love to be in J...
dannieb
  05/05/07
rofl
.,..,.,.,.,,,.,..,.,.,.,.,,.,.,.,..,.,.,,..,.,.
  05/05/07
as funny as these conversations are, don't go a step further...
SoooonyCourtwand2009
  05/05/07
How did Paulie get anyone fired?
dannieb
  05/05/07
The whole sequence of events that ended up with GTO's offer ...
:;;;;.............,.,.,.,..,,,,,,,,,,,..,.,.,.,.,.
  05/05/07
Anyone got any good ideas for the chat tomorrow (the sabbath...
gobluelaw
  05/06/07
Angry mom chews out Mormon
Well Done Roundhouse Flame
  05/06/07
not as good as some of your earlier work
sarcaschtick\'s Betrayed Mother
  05/06/07
Yeah, I just was trying something different here. It didn't...
Well Done Roundhouse Flame
  05/06/07
Still...it was worth a try. It's like Edison's finding th...
%^&$^*$%^
  05/06/07
It's successful in that it makes the Mormon highly uncomfort...
:;;;;.............,.,.,.,..,,,,,,,,,,,..,.,.,.,.,.
  05/06/07
you sure know how to pull them in
dannieb
  05/06/07
You are speaking live with Craig, who is a member of The Chu...
Well Done Roundhouse Flame
  05/06/07
Nice. I love how you casually inserted WGWAG. tyy tytytyty...
:;;;;.............,.,.,.,..,,,,,,,,,,,..,.,.,.,.,.
  05/06/07
did you get the cho references too? EDIT: and the reference...
sarcaschtick\'s Betrayed Mother
  05/06/07
It was sweet.
:;;;;.............,.,.,.,..,,,,,,,,,,,..,.,.,.,.,.
  05/06/07
Brooke: My husband is Korean and he speaks very little E...
%^&$^*$%^
  05/06/07
180. I love the little condescending asides you worked in h...
Niggers Have a 180 on the COCKSAT
  05/06/07
me too. a fresh voice on this page! also just this: Hurray...
fulano
  05/06/07
dude, when you are asked for writing samples, you should sub...
dannieb
  05/06/07
HOW DO I COPY/PASTE THIS SHIT?
Theduuude
  05/06/07
Right click, choose select all, then copy.
:;;;;.............,.,.,.,..,,,,,,,,,,,..,.,.,.,.,.
  05/06/07
he's obviously failed at life, don't try to help him along
sarcaschtick\'s Betrayed Mother
  05/06/07
no you fucking asshole, right click doesn't do anything. ...
Theduuude
  05/06/07
...
rennug
  05/06/07
You are speaking live with Brandon, who is a member of The C...
Well Done Roundhouse Flame
  05/06/07
i started laughing out loud when you responded to one of his...
.,..,.,.,.,,,.,..,.,.,.,.,,.,.,.,..,.,.,,..,.,.
  05/06/07
ty
Well Done Roundhouse Flame
  05/06/07
182.5.
NYLS 2L
  05/06/07
this is a masterpiece. a true pleasure to read.
Theduuude
  05/06/07
180180180! I was laughing thruout.... Pemberly: DING...
%^&$^*$%^
  05/06/07
seriously your flame is 'well done' i applaud you good sir!
sarcaschtick\'s Betrayed Mother
  05/06/07
are you sure that you aren't GTO?
dannieb
  05/06/07
Such great flame
analthendump
  07/27/07
You are speaking live with Mark, who is a member of The Chur...
Niggers Have a 180 on the COCKSAT
  05/06/07
That's hilarious. I especially enjoyed the mormonmobile par...
gobluelaw
  05/06/07
Now *this* is excellent! Hitting the same one again &...
%^&$^*$%^
  05/06/07
I love the brute force method. I would really pay just abou...
there\'s a wocket in my pocket
  05/06/07
We should pose as a documentary crew from Mormonland Tv or s...
An Army of Liberal Lawyers
  11/11/07
Gerald: Couldn't you at least send out a Mormonmobile? ...
sarcaschtick\'s Betrayed Mother
  05/06/07
lol! I WILL NOT BE IGNORED, MORMON!
NYLS 2L
  05/06/07
lol. Priceless.
......,.........,...........
  05/06/07
180
Well Done Roundhouse Flame
  05/06/07
this is where I started to lose it.... Stop being so rude...
dannieb
  05/06/07
tyty
analthendump
  05/17/07
More flame. Feedback appreciated.
Well Done Roundhouse Flame
  05/06/07
Iryuk: I am told you also have a seal in the temple. I can't...
bubbler
  05/06/07
"It's cold here, but to be honest, William, the aspersi...
Evan3000
  05/06/07
Iryuk: Not now. URLs are very suspicious here. We have w...
%^&$^*$%^
  05/06/07
Looks like you weren't expecting him to have actually been t...
MrJackson
  05/06/07
Spot on. I wasn't. I played for time and tried to remember...
Well Done Roundhouse Flame
  05/06/07
I dig your work, d00d. Genius.
Old Jeezy
  05/06/07
I bow to the master.
Niggers Have a 180 on the COCKSAT
  05/06/07
you developed this really well....however, I would have appr...
dannieb
  05/06/07
This is by far my favorite, well done.
gobluelaw
  05/07/07
fuckin sweet
analthendump
  05/17/07
"But there are no temples in the Far North, where the G...
Soapy
  08/08/08
the only way this could get better is if people start spammi...
loafer
  05/06/07
From what I've seen, they don't take addys for visits--they ...
%^&$^*$%^
  05/06/07
just follow their link and you can put in an address for mis...
dannieb
  05/06/07
excellent!
-.-
  05/06/07
Thank you for taking the time to chat with us and for your i...
Well Done Roundhouse Flame
  05/06/07
[Joel: I'm sorry but that request is outside of the scope...
Lucky Wang
  05/06/07
You should almost certainly adopt the persona of a Satanist ...
Lord Psycholomort
  05/06/07
180! This thread CONTINUES to outclass itself. just.. wow...
Fuckperty
  05/06/07
We need to engrave these precious words upon gold tablets.
:;;;;.............,.,.,.,..,,,,,,,,,,,..,.,.,.,.,.
  05/06/07
lol
dannieb
  05/06/07
omg, ty ty ty
Evan3000
  05/06/07
Bradley was trying to "one-up" a fellow cultist
dannieb
  05/06/07
Carma's turn to be annoyed...triple ban is now my trademark
Niggers Have a 180 on the COCKSAT
  05/06/07
XOXO: It's like being trapped. You know, like The Truman S...
-.-
  05/06/07
third conversation is superb
Evan3000
  05/06/07
My favorite so far... "It's like being trapped. You ...
...... .... ..... ...... ..... ..... ...... ....
  05/06/07
your chat had the two best lines in this whole thread..... ...
dannieb
  05/06/07
...
rennug
  05/06/07
LOL!!!!! "HTH: Good to know. Now on CGWBT, would ...
Hooked on Eugenics
  05/06/07
Thank you for taking the time to chat with us and for your i...
NYLS 2L
  05/06/07
great job GTO
dannieb
  05/06/07
You are speaking live with Jason, who is a member of The Chu...
Hooked on Eugenics
  05/06/07
i'm in tears. thank you.
Evan3000
  05/06/07
ywywyw First time I got off the ground.
Hooked on Eugenics
  05/06/07
nicely done! lol, kaavya. So they let "OMG"...
%^&$^*$%^
  05/07/07
Does anyone have Leiter's home address? I'm thinking about t...
t14 gunner
  05/06/07
I don't know. In light of T14 contest, this just sounds lik...
Hooked on Eugenics
  05/06/07
his CV is 19 pgs long
.,..,.,.,.,,,.,..,.,.,.,.,,.,.,.,..,.,.,,..,.,.
  05/06/07
They have forms that refer missionaries to people. I'm sure...
Poontonimous
  05/06/07
actually, they don't call. perhaps they will call if they g...
dannieb
  05/07/07
*tears of laughter* i can't believe how long this is last...
womanontop
  05/07/07
I have a much better idea than my previous one for a chat. ...
done and done
  05/07/07
I think the time has come to refine our countermormon strate...
Niggers Have a 180 on the COCKSAT
  05/07/07
This sounds credited to me. After all, we learned that ...
%^&$^*$%^
  05/07/07
A probe and destroy has confirmed that Mormons are now shari...
Niggers Have a 180 on the COCKSAT
  05/07/07
aha...lookin' forward to it :)
%^&$^*$%^
  05/07/07
..........
.,..,.,.,.,,,.,..,.,.,.,.,,.,.,.,..,.,.,,..,.,.
  05/07/07
someone should use subtle racism and other inappropriate ter...
.,..,.,.,.,,,.,..,.,.,.,.,,.,.,.,..,.,.,,..,.,.
  05/07/07
I sort of did this when I pretended I was a brazilian women ...
gobluelaw
  05/07/07
Caleb praises God...read to find out why.
Well Done Roundhouse Flame
  05/07/07
lol. tytytytyty.
NYLS 2L
  05/07/07
you have a gift.
.,..,.,.,.,,,.,..,.,.,.,.,,.,.,.,..,.,.,,..,.,.
  05/07/07
BOOO! This is doctored. I knew these were too good to be tru...
theAnon
  05/07/07
Well done.
...... .... ..... ...... ..... ..... ...... ....
  05/08/07
this was by far the most insidious one of them all. kudos t...
sarcaschtick\'s Betrayed Mother
  05/07/07
this is amazing. it's like you hypnotized him.
Sweep the Leg Johnny
  05/07/07
180 for all of your flames
analthendump
  05/17/07
Thank you for taking the time to chat with us and for yo...
...................,,,,,,.,
  05/07/07
not funny at all. hth.
SoooonyCourtwand2009
  05/07/07
Thank you for taking the time to chat with us and for your i...
Niggers Have a 180 on the COCKSAT
  05/07/07
Albert: Yes, but what about Godel? Steven Chase: I a...
%^&$^*$%^
  05/07/07
177
Hooked on Eugenics
  05/07/07
I used Roundhouse's great CGWBT idea and expanded on it. TY...
gobluelaw
  05/07/07
how come they don't realize that OMFG contains profanity?
sarcaschtick\'s Betrayed Mother
  05/07/07
I don't know but I will continue to pepper my chats with OMF...
gobluelaw
  05/07/07
The era of linking is over.
Hooked on Eugenics
  05/07/07
roflcopter for sure. I want to know about this "new se...
there\'s a wocket in my pocket
  05/08/07
I like that he won't realize you were flame until he goes ho...
MrJackson
  05/08/07
hopefully he will remember to check it. somehow, i doubt tha...
sarcaschtick\'s Betrayed Mother
  05/08/07
That means it's not a missionary. Missionaries can't go hom...
Poontonimous
  05/08/07
they're not missionaries.
sarcaschtick\'s Betrayed Mother
  05/09/07
Still hilarious.
:;;;;.............,.,.,.,..,,,,,,,,,,,..,.,.,.,.,.
  05/08/07
How about a sticky for this thread?
MrJackson
  05/08/07
*snob* I guess this thread is now dead *tears*
dannieb
  05/09/07
:'(
%^&$^*$%^
  05/09/07
...
nirvanayoda
  05/09/07
did you laugh? and then fat chicks gave you dirty looks?
dannieb
  05/09/07
titcr
womanontop
  05/09/07
Note: It seemed like there was a delay between what I said a...
.................,............,...........,.......
  05/09/07
just using the name Tyrone is prestigious
dannieb
  05/09/07
178. fucking hilarioussssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss ...
iLOVEanal
  05/09/07
ty
analthendump
  07/27/07
Mark: How may I help you? Darkwing Duck: I am the terro...
Jay Sherman (now with more DRAGON WAR)
  05/09/07
LOL, for some inexplicable reason this one made me laugh out...
RAM TOUGH
  05/25/07
Thank you for taking the time to chat with us and for your i...
Niggers Have a 180 on the COCKSAT
  05/10/07
...
nirvanayoda
  05/10/07
hilarious!! 180
imadirtywhore
  05/10/07
seconded!
@323##322
  05/10/07
I liked the violin part the best. excellent!!!!
dannieb
  05/10/07
Justin: Hi Amanda: Hello, this is Amanda. How may I he...
imadirtywhore
  05/10/07
180. This is good shit, love the schizo angle!!!!
Niggers Have a 180 on the COCKSAT
  05/10/07
Amanda: Could you give me your phone number so the mission...
@323##322
  05/10/07
A+ for originality
dannieb
  05/10/07
Thank you for taking the time to chat with us and for your i...
Niggers Have a 180 on the COCKSAT
  05/10/07
Yochebel: 180 Prestige Hall Yochebel: Cambridge, Ma...
WhatNow?
  05/10/07
whose cell?
dannieb
  05/10/07
...
nirvanayoda
  05/10/07
Jessica: Okay, we will need your contact information. Name...
@323##322
  05/10/07
leiter
sarcaschtick\'s Betrayed Mother
  05/10/07
Jill F.
Lucky Wang
  05/11/07
In honor of Roundhouse *props*
dannieb
  05/13/07
There are two redactions towards the end of this transcript ...
Well Done Roundhouse Flame
  05/13/07
___ _____ _____ |_ | / _ \ / _ \ | | | |_| ...
Xenn
  05/13/07
Thank you. I'm glad you enjoyed it. I prefer this appr...
Well Done Roundhouse Flame
  05/13/07
titcr, the way he divines his ratings is similar to the w...
Xenn
  05/13/07
done in the spirit of a gentleman
dannieb
  05/13/07
i laughed out loud at this. ty <3.
....... ....... ............ ..... ........
  05/17/07
I agree with the redactions, too. I wonder if Leiter wi...
@323##322
  05/17/07
I couldn't believe this chat lasted past my first flame. I ...
gobluelaw
  05/14/07
I guess since the xoxo assault has died down they have becom...
dannieb
  05/14/07
brilliant. best use of WGWAG ever.
adalia
  05/19/07
Sticky!
MrJackson
  05/19/07
I think the Mormons defeated us. We were unsuccessful in ma...
...................,...............
  05/20/07
This was a stupid idea in the first place. Mormons never di...
Always Subtracting Value
  05/20/07
how was the tiny-dicked priesthood meeting today?
dannieb
  05/20/07
I'm not a Mormon, but I admire them tremendously and this wh...
Always Subtracting Value
  05/20/07
uhhmm--veeerrrr.....I am telling on you!!! Get a life you...
dannieb
  05/20/07
"Get a life you piece of shit" I'm not the one ...
Always Subtracting Value
  05/20/07
you are harassing me, and all of the fine people posting in ...
dannieb
  05/20/07
Spreading stupidity and lies is an offense against all manki...
.... ...... ..... ..... ...... ..... .....
  05/20/07
Yes, but so is being a preening little douchebag.
Always Subtracting Value
  05/20/07
So then you agree that the Mormons did do something to us?
.... ...... ..... ..... ...... ..... .....
  05/20/07
No, I'm saying that your nonsensical logic would also justif...
Always Subtracting Value
  05/20/07
if GTO would act like a man, then he would STICKY this threa...
dannieb
  05/20/07
Wow, you make a lot of baseless assumptions and faulty anal...
.... ...... ..... ..... ...... ..... .....
  05/20/07
I say we invite some missionaries over for a talk and then t...
dannieb
  05/20/07
Thank you for taking the time to chat with us and for your i...
Niggers Have a 180 on the COCKSAT
  05/22/07
Haha, Michael is kind of a douche.
there\'s a wocket in my pocket
  05/22/07
ty for the lulz
analthendump
  07/27/07
Thank you for taking the time to chat with us and for your i...
Niggers Have a 180 on the COCKSAT
  05/22/07
Valiant efforts. Both of them.
%^&$^*$%^
  05/22/07
You are speaking live with /MICHAEL/, who is a member of The...
there\'s a wocket in my pocket
  05/22/07
If I didn't know better, I'd think MICHAEL was a tape record...
%^&$^*$%^
  05/23/07
...
^%*$*
  05/24/07
...
rangerlaw
  05/24/07
sad to see this die down
dannieb
  06/06/07
Yeah
WhatNow?
  06/22/07
this was xo's last hurrah...
womanontop
  06/22/07
...
.,..,.,.,.,,,.,..,.,.,.,.,,.,.,.,..,.,.,,..,.,.
  07/08/07
You are speaking live with Gwen, who is a member of The Chur...
katefromtexas.
  07/08/07
ty
:;;;;.............,.,.,.,..,,,,,,,,,,,..,.,.,.,.,.
  07/26/07
i wonder if the missionaries who work on this website are st...
DukeChick
  07/27/07
This thread is the most hilarious thing I've read on xoxo. ...
michmich
  09/28/07
the Mormons beat us dude.
Moses Malone
  10/01/07
How did they beat us? This thread is funny, it sounds like ...
michmich
  10/01/07
they are still up and running aren't they?
Moses Malone
  10/01/07
perhaps it is time for round #2
rangerlaw
  11/07/07
someone start a new thread plz
FreakyTah
  11/07/07
this thread is unreal
hizzle
  11/07/07
it's the GOAT
SkyReefer
  11/07/07
agreed.
C+C™
  11/08/07
http://www.break.com/index/christian-guy-totally-owns-mormon...
I like the way ya Gwerk it
  11/09/07
Moar?
Dank Literate Chicks
  11/19/07
lol Should ask them about this 2 Nephi 5:21 21 And ...
I like the way ya Gwerk it
  01/27/08
THE BEST THREAD EVER keep em short, I spent 2 hours readi...
......,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,
  02/03/08
We found a work around for that problem. I don't remember w...
Farts Chucking Justices
  02/03/08
You each could be charged with a Federal crime for online ha...
GoBarackObama!
  02/03/08
Bump for the last great xoxo thread
SkyReefer
  06/10/08
Damn, well done xoxo. This thread is a treasure trove of ...
Soapy
  07/26/08
You are speaking live with Scott, who is a member of The...
Soapy
  07/26/08
i enjoyed this
Now that you mention it
  08/21/08
bump, again, for teh lulz
MrJaneHoya
  08/21/08
...
A pumber gets fined for not getting healthcare
  10/05/08


Poast new message in this thread





Date: May 2nd, 2007 4:40 PM
Author: rangerlaw

Go to beta.mormon.org and click on the 'ask a question' section

the person that posts the most awesome chat transcript will win a prize (I promise)!!!!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8049823)





Date: May 2nd, 2007 4:50 PM
Author: NYLS 2L

lol, i will try doing this with live westlaw chat and see who gets better answers.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8049883)





Date: May 2nd, 2007 4:59 PM
Author: :;;;;.............,.,.,.,..,,,,,,,,,,,..,.,.,.,.,. (<Party of Five>)


I tried it and some bitch named Steve sent me the same link 20 times. Unhelpful and totally lame; they probably have to juggle several people at once, and they handle questions by posting links.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8049938)





Date: May 5th, 2007 12:15 PM
Author: Niggers Have a 180 on the COCKSAT
Subject: Settled for the direct approach

Sorry for posting up here, but this conversation really wasn't worth scrolling all the down for. It's not particularly funny, but I still thought it should be posted.

Thank you for taking the time to chat with us and for your interest in the Church. Please know that you are welcome to worship with us any time, request a visit from Mormon missionaries, order a Book of Mormon, or continue to browse our Web site to learn more answers to life's greatest questions.

Close this window

Bradley:

Hi, how may I help you?

Morgan:

Hello Bradley. I want to say up front and politely that I am an atheist. I'm coming to this site because a lot of people from your church have been visiting me. While I respect your right to freely practice your religion, I have to wonder why you are so eager to promote it. I hope we can have a civil discussion about that.

Bradley:

Of course.

Morgan:

Now this is a question that I hope you can answer for me. I have asked it of missionaries a few times. Some did not seem to know; others simply recommended I read your book. I'll let you know in advance that I have read your book, just like I've read many other religious texts (The Bible, Koran, Vedas, etc.).

Morgan:

There is a lot in the Book of Mormon which, to say the least, does not have scientific proof. We can debate endlessly about whether or not corrobative evidence can be found and how exactly we should interpret it, but quite frankly, there is no record (apart from the Book) which states unambiguously that Jesus Christ visited anyone in the Americas.

Morgan:

To put it simply, a lot of the claims in the Book of Mormon rely on faith. I think most of your (honest) members would admit that, seeing as the usual advice is to pray upon the words in the Book. Can we establish that, in some degree, faith is a necessary component of your religion?

Bradley:

You are correct, it is an essential part of our faith. We believe that just as Christ taught, physical evidence isn't enough. We must have faith and we believe God will manifest to us truth through his spirit.

Morgan:

All right. So far, so good. Now I suppose my next question is this: Why have faith? Reason has done a lot for humanity. We have placed people on the moon because of scientific advances. We have evolved into a liberal democracy because of political doctrines established by Enlightenment thinkers.

Morgan:

On the other hand, when people suspend rationality in favor of God's truth (or what they see as their God's truth), we have some awful travesties. The 9/11 hijackers, for example, had abundant faith. So did many of the Crusaders who slaughtered Jews and Muslims across Europe. Many of the persecutors of your fellow Mormons also had faith.

Morgan:

There is the classic accounts, for example, of Abraham and Japheth being commanded to sacrifice their children because of God's commands. People often say that religion provides them with a moral center. But I suppose my question is, if everything is ultimately decided on faith, not reason, how do you keep a moral center? If you are absolutely convinced that you and only you have the truth, what stops you from advancing God's objectives at the expense of your fellow human beings?

Bradley:

Let me push you some scriptures that might help you understand how we view God's dealings with humanity.

Bradley:

http://scriptures.lds.org/en/search?search=Moroni+7%3A12-13&do=Search

(This URL is opening in the browser window that you opened the chat window from.)

Morgan:

I'm very grateful, thanks.

Morgan:

Yes, but in sense, isn't this particular passage something of a tautology? That God is by definition good and the devil is by definition evil. I was wanting to know how you distinguish between good and evil, especially when people claim to advance certain principles in God's name.

Bradley:

It seems like you have many questions. The best thing I could say is to browse mormon.org, lds.org and josephsmith.net

Bradley:

Our purpose here on this chat site to help people understand our basic beliefs and how they can know if they are true.

Morgan:

Well, actually it was only one essential question: How do you know your faith is more valid than anyone else's?

Morgan:

A lot of people have faith in very contradictory theologies. They cannot all be right. How do I distinguish between your assurance and the assurance of, say, a very devout Muslim or a very devout Jew or even another devout Christian?

Bradley:

It all comes down to personal action. I've prayed and I know that God has answered my prayers. We don't expect people to have blind faith, so we aske them to do the same. Ask God for yourself. That's all he asks. Here's a page that might help.

Bradley:

http://beta.mormon.org/mormonorg/v/index.jsp?vgnextoid=b4f4055b23710110VgnVCM1000003a94610aRCRD&locale=0&sourceId=cb046db0580a1110VgnVCM100000176f620a____

(This URL is opening in the browser window that you opened the chat window from.)

Morgan:

All right, that's fair enough. But what about a devout Jew who prays and receives the answer from God (as he sees it) that Judaism is the one and only true religion? Is that person wrong? Did God deceive them?

Morgan:

Especially on a question of such magnitude.

Bradley:

Our simple invitation is to invite all people to pray for themselves, and we trust God that he will guide those who seek Him to His truth. Sometimes that guidance comes step by step, but I trust that those who seek God will find him.

Morgan:

But isn't the very act of prayer a tacit admission that this is all correct?

Bradley:

Our simple purpose here is to invite people to ask those questions for themselves.

Morgan:

I understand that, and I'm very glad you're willing to discuss this.

Bradley:

No, but it is an expression of desire to know if it is correct. You can open a book to try to learn about a theory without automatically believing the contents. Prayer can be used as a source to find truth, not simply to confirm belief.

Bradley:

Have you ever prayed before?

Morgan:

I remember a long time ago, when I was younger, that I prayed very much to God for some inkling of his presence. I can relate to the religious experience as I grew up in a very devout home. But when I was 12, a little younger than Joseph Smith, I prayed and suddenly, it hit me like a ton of bricks that no one really was listening. That was when I stopped praying.

Bradley:

What was it that hit you like a ton of bricks?

Morgan:

That no one was listening to me, that I was really conducting some sort of psychotherapy session, a talking cure of sorts. That I was replacing my fallible parents with the emotionally comforting but intellectually indefensible idea of a perfect, all-powerful Parent.

Morgan:

If my soul was in some mortal danger at that point, why, I sometimes wonder, didn't God intervene? Why couldn't he have offered me a revelation that would have overturned my doubts? And then it occured to me that if God exists, then there was a great problem in that most of the people seeking Him had arrived at the wrong conclusion.

Morgan:

If there is only one true religion out there--let's suppose for a moment that it is yours--then why would God not immediately give everyone the assurance that, yes, this is the truth? Why would he allow sincere people to go to other, presumably false religions?

Morgan:

I doubt it is for lack of sincerity. I know many people who sincerely persist in all manner of contradictory faiths.

Bradley:

There's something that we all most do as well. God doesn't provide us with miracles to give us faith, but rather, miracles confirm our faith. They come by faith, and trust in God. Here's a verse that might help.

Bradley:

http://scriptures.lds.org/en/search?type=words&last=1+Kings19%3A11-12&help=&wo=checked&search=1+Kings+19%3A11-12&do=Search&iw=scriptures&tx=checked&af=checked&hw=checked&sw=checked

(This URL is opening in the browser window that you opened the chat window from.)

Morgan:

Yes, but that's not precisely the case. In Judges 6, for example, Gideon gets three miracles to assure him that God and not a hallucination is calling him. Given God's apparent willingness to show off, why is He silent on sincere requests for the miraculous? Why, for example, can't the Book of Mormon levitate or turn into gold plates again to confirm faith?

Bradley:

Morgan, I have to go, but the single most important thing you can possibly do is to seek God's guidance. I invite you to meet with the missionaries to investigate this topic.

Morgan:

I'm open to further discussion on those points. I appreciate you taking the time to talk with me.

Bradley:

Great! Here's the page to do that.

Bradley:

http://beta.mormon.org/mormonorg/v/index.jsp?vgnextoid=57b29c3a68a50110VgnVCM1000003a94610aRCRD&locale=0

(This URL is opening in the browser window that you opened the chat window from.)

Bradley:

Take care!



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8065180)





Date: May 6th, 2007 10:53 PM
Author: Hooked on Eugenics

It's obvious these Mormons are not up for direct serious talks about their faith. This post justifies everything that follows.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8074503)





Date: May 7th, 2007 4:49 AM
Author: Niggers Have a 180 on the COCKSAT

Yes, the level of bullshit they spew is ridiculous, even if religious nutjobs.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8076542)





Date: May 2nd, 2007 4:53 PM
Author: lawschooldesire

xoxo should be able to take down this feature in 72 hours

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8049900)





Date: May 2nd, 2007 4:56 PM
Author: done and done (facts are fascist)

where have you been?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8049922)





Date: May 2nd, 2007 4:58 PM
Author: lawschooldesire

lurking....although I post every now and then

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8049930)





Date: May 2nd, 2007 5:02 PM
Author: lawschooldesire

Hello Richard, how may we help you?

Richard: Hi, I have a few questions for you about something I saw on PBS last night.

Richard: There was a documentary about your church.

Steve: I actually viewed this documentary also, I hope I can answer your questions.

Richard: First off, did Jacob Smith really write the Book of Mormon with a rock in a hat?

Richard: Sounds utterly bizarre

Steve: Yes, Joseph Smith received help and revelation in translating the Book of Mormon from what was called the Seer Stone. Joseph Smith used this stone in a hat, in order to see it in the dark.

Richard: The Mormon apologist, Daniel Peterson, in the documentary said that "most" of the Book of Mormon was written with the rock in the hat and that the plates weren't even around when he was doing it. Is this right?

Steve: That is false. Joseph had the plates the entire time. Actually, Daniel Peterson is not a Mormon.

Richard: PBS says he is:

Richard: http://www.pbs.org/mormons/interviews/

Richard: Daniel Peterson Daniel Peterson is a professor of Islamic studies and Arabic at Brigham Young University, a member of the university's Foundation for Ancient Research and Mormon Studies, and a contributor to the Foundation for Apologetic Information and Research and the Scholarly & Historical Information Exchange for Latter-day Saints. He is the author of numerous articles and books on Mormon history and doctrine.

Richard: Sorry--that should have had quotes around it. It is from the PBS site.

Steve: I'm sorry, Daniel Peterson is a member, I was mistaken for someone else quoted on the documentary.

Richard: So, my question still stands, why did he even need the plates if he had this magical rock in a hat?

Richard: Oh, and is there a museum that I can go to so I can check these plates out myself?

Steve: I think it is because the Lord wanted him to translate these ancient scriptures and give them to the world. The Lord could have just showed Joseph Smith what is contained in the Golden Plates, but instead He had Joseph translate them.

Richard: what do you mean "translate"? He was looking at a rock, right?

Steve: Joseph had the power to receive revelation, which means to speak with Christ directly. Through this power the Lord restored many truths. Translating the Book of Mormon brought forth many of these truths. It wasn't just given to Joseph...

Richard: So are the plates in a museum somewhere?

Steve: He had to work to translate it. There are several accounts where he worked very hard to understand the translations. Just like translating any language, it takes skill, knowledge, and also in Joseph's situation spiritual guidance.

Steve: The plates were given back to the angel Moroni after Joseph was done translating.

Richard: It takes skill and knowledge to look into a hat? I must be missing something here.

Richard: It all sounds extremely fishy to me, to say the least.

Steve: Richard, have you read the Book of Mormon?

Richard: Nope--just saw the documentary.

Steve: The great thing about it all, is that you don't have to believe PBS, me, or any other theologist. The Lord will answer your prayers and tell you what is true.

Steve: Do you believe God will answer your prayers?

Richard: Don't believe in God--I'm an atheist.

Steve: Do you believe in a higher power at all?

Steve: A creator?

Richard: Nope.

Richard: I also have a question about Smith's polygamy. Did he really marry over 30 women in secret?

Steve: Have you ever asked yourself about why humans are here on earth.

Richard: Some of them teenagers and some of them married to other men at the time?

Richard: Ever hear of evolution?

Steve: There are many rumors being spread about polygamy in the earlier years of the Church. I know that it was a commandment of God given to specific people.

Richard: The documentary said that 20-30 percent of Mormons participated.

Steve: I do not know the numbers, so I cannot expound on that.

Steve: To me, that sounds about right.

Richard: Jacob Smith had over 30, Brigam Young had over 50, with 57 children!

Richard: And poking around online (I admit that it's fascinating) I read that you still believe that polygamy will be practiced in the next life.

Richard: And that two of your apostles are eternally "sealed" to two different women!

Richard: Can men really do this in your church, even today?!?

Steve: I have actually only heard about polygamy in the next life. I do not know it as stated doctrine of the Church. I have never heard about the second statement.

Richard: Is there someone there that knows enough to answer my questions?

Steve: With these two apostles, I think they are referring to how their first wife died, and they remarried. "Sealed" is a word used in our church to signify a marriage relationship. Just like anyone else, yes they may remarry other women...

Steve: But you may only have one spouse in our church, unless of course that spouse dies and you remarry.

Richard: But I read that men can be sealed to many different women if the women have not been married in the temple before. This means that in the next life they will be living in a polygamous relationship.

Richard: but that women cannot be sealed to more than one man.

Richard: did I get that right--it's all very bizarre

Richard: And I still can't get my mind around Jacob Smith marrying other men's wives. Guy must have been drunk on his own power.

Steve: It does sound like you are very interested in our faith. I would like to invite you to read the Book of Mormon and find out for yourselves whether it is ture.

Richard: After watching the documentary, there's no way I could take it seriously.

Richard: Jacob Smith comes across as a total scam artist.

Steve: Richard, this site is meant for those who are interested in learning more about our religion. We help these people to contact our representatives and learn from the true source more about The Restoration.

Richard: Aren't you a representative?

Steve: Yes, and our representatives are everywhere throughout the world. They would love to visit with you and give you a free Book of Mormon so that you may find out for yourself the validity of our message.

Richard: Anyone there have answers about Smith marrying other men's wives?

Richard: Not interested in a visit--just have some questions about the PBS show.

Steve: I am sorry Richard, this website is not for the purposes I think you would wish it to be. I will refer you to further search www.mormon.org in order to find out more about the Church from a valid source.

Richard: ???

Richard: Isn't the purpose to answer people's questions?

Richard: Or is the purpose to convert people to your church?

Steve: Our representatives we can send to you may further expound on your questions.

Richard: If it's to convert, you should really put that right on the chat explanation.

Steve: Our job is to let you know about the Restoration. It is your choice to convert or not.

Richard: Guess I'll just surf around for more answers--doesn't look like you're interested. Thanks for your time. Later.



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8049951)





Date: May 2nd, 2007 5:05 PM
Author: fulano

Richard: Is there someone there that knows enough to answer my questions?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8049975)





Date: May 2nd, 2007 5:06 PM
Author: done and done (facts are fascist)

you people are evil

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8049978)





Date: May 5th, 2007 12:18 PM
Author: @323##322

tyty

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8065192)





Date: May 2nd, 2007 5:11 PM
Author: there\'s a wocket in my pocket

incredibly hilarious

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8050015)





Date: May 2nd, 2007 5:15 PM
Author: rangerlaw

I like the Jacob Smith part...hilarious!!!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8050023)





Date: May 2nd, 2007 5:23 PM
Author: ..........,,...........,................


You should definitely get a prize for that.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8050057)





Date: May 3rd, 2007 1:09 PM
Author: Solzhenitsyn

Wow, I actually think Steve comes off a lot better than Richard here, and I'm also an atheist. The rock in the hat part was pretty funny.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8054542)





Date: May 2nd, 2007 5:05 PM
Author: rangerlaw

Jason:

How may I help you?

Joe:

Hi Jason. Yesterday I watched a show on Mormons and I would like to know if you can confirm that J.S. was married to women who were already married?

Jason:

That is outside of our purpose on this site. There may be other resources to help you with that question. We help people understand the basic doctrines of the church

Joe:

Oh I see. Could you indicate those other resources that you recommend? BTW, Is being faithful to you spouse a basic doctrine taught by the Gospel?

Joe:

Are you saying that what J.S. did by inspiration or revelation is outside of the doctrines of the Church? How come he was a prophet then???

Jason:

You might check on lds.org

Joe:

I checked http://www.familysearch.org (I believe it's affiliated w/the Church) and saw the extensive list of wifes JS had. I understand that polygamy was once taught and practiced just like Abraham did. But I would like to know if it is in accordance with gospel principles to take other men's wifes?

Joe:

Are you inconfortable with such questions? I don't mean to put you in an akward position...

Joe:

I am discussing this issue with my wife and I would like to have an authorized view on it. Is this something I am allowed to ask?

Jason:

Joe, I am not uncomfortable with these questions, they are simply outside of the scope of our purpose.

Joe:

Can you help me understand which principle allowed JS to act this way? Is it divine revelation?

Jason:

Joe, the most important question to ask at this point is whether Joseph Smith is a prophet.

Joe:

I agree! ...And by their fruits you will know them

Joe:

Another question then: Are men authorized to be sealed to more than one women for the afterlife?

Jason:

We are here to help you find out for yourself if he was a prophet. It takes study, prayer, and real intent. Are you willing to do this?

Joe:

I did! Jason. Believe me I did. But I want to help my wife as well so I am in search of information if that is fine with you.

Jason:

did you get an answer?

Joe:

Yes. I felt compelled to look for more information, to meditate about it and to ask God for the answer. That's why I am trying to get more information.

Joe:

Are men authorized to be sealed to more than one women for the afterlife?

Jason:

Joe, we are not here for academic discussions about church doctrines. We are here to help people find out for themselves if the message of the church is true. Can I help you with that instead>?

Joe:

I hope Jason. But You are not telling me what the message of the Church is. What does the Church teach about eternal marriage? Are men authorized to be sealed to more than one women for the afterlife?

Jason:

The message of the church is that the church of Jesus Christ that he established while he was on earth was lost. It was restored through Joseph Smith. The way to know if this message is true is to read the Book of Mormon and ask God if it is true.

Jason:

If you will do this, you can know for yourself that it is true.

Joe:

Does the gospel teach anything about eternal marriage?

Jason:

There would be little point in discussing that if you don't know if Joseph Smith was a prophet or not

Joe:

Why is that Jason?

Jason:

If he is not a prophet, what is the point of going the rounds on the doctrine of the churh?

Joe:

Because what he taught and how he lived could potentially affirm or infirm his status as a prophet. Don't you think?

Jason:

Joe, if you had every question like that answered, you would be no closer to knowing from God that he is a prophet. It has to start with the qeustion of whether he is a prophet.

Jason:

By asking God

Joe:

Hmmm... I think you made your point Jason. It was nice chatting with you. Thanks for taking the time. Sorry I bothered you with some specifics about JS's revelations. Take it EZ.

Jason:

You're welcome.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8049970)





Date: May 2nd, 2007 5:05 PM
Author: NYLS 2L

A++++++++++++ would read again!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8049971)





Date: May 2nd, 2007 5:33 PM
Author: ..........,,...........,................


What a weasel.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8050095)





Date: May 5th, 2007 2:15 PM
Author: .... .

weasels:

never forget

http://www.xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=592614&mc=52&forum_id=2

http://www.encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php/AutoAdmit

http://www.xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=599817&mc=12&forum_id=2

http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=592396&mc=58&forum_id=2

http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=290757&mc=17&forum_id=2

http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/220037/autoadmit_threat_shuts_down_hastings.html

http://anonymouslawyer.blogspot.com/2007/03/reader-sent-me-link-to-washington-post.html

http://psychology-101-should-be-a-required-class-at-yale-law-school.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=607238&mc=10&forum_id=2

http://onlinereputation.googlepages.com/charityefforts

http://www.xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=197266&mc=105&forum_id=2

http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=614676&mc=10&forum_id=2

http://www.xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=592855&mc=5&forum_id=2

http://www.xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=331077

http://www.xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=617425&mc=12&forum_id=2

http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=591664&mc=9&forum_id=2

http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=591875&mc=54&forum_id=2

http://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=591875&forum_id=2&PHPSESSID=d3275a68320df53fb45fe1e232cb3b53

http://www.xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=591875&mc=55&forum_id=2

http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=617176&mc=12&forum_id=2

http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=613270&mc=1&forum_id=2

http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=613270&mc=15&forum_id=2

http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=613270&mc=12&forum_id=2

http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=617793&mc=34&forum_id=2



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8065628)





Date: May 2nd, 2007 5:07 PM
Author: done and done (facts are fascist)

Honestly, this chat thing can only end badly. Why are they doing this?

Probably because missionaries are bored in the MTC, I'd imagine.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8049990)





Date: May 3rd, 2007 2:21 AM
Author: Poontonimous

No more memorizing discussions = IM TIME!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8053114)





Date: May 2nd, 2007 5:07 PM
Author: rangerlaw

stab #2

Steve:

Hello Charles, how may I help you?

charles:

I am

charles:

I am Catholic but saw the PBS documentary on the Mormons last night.

Steve:

Alright, I hope I can help you.

charles:

We believe in the Trinity, that God and Jesus and the Holy Spirit are one. Mormons apparently beleive they are each individual beings. Is this true?

Steve:

I do want to tell you right up front - this documentary was not produced by our church. There are many things I disagree with and I think are false.

Steve:

Yes, this is true.

charles:

How can you claim to be Christian then?

Steve:

We believe in God, our Eternal Father. We believe in His Son Jesus Christ. And we believe in the Holy Ghost.

Steve:

We still believe Christ is our saviour and only through Him can we be saved.

charles:

Why did one of your leaders order that all those people be killed - The Mountain Meadows Massacre?

charles:

It sounded alot like 9/11 to me..

charles:

In fact it happened on Sept 11? So were you guys behind the Twin Towers too?



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8049991)





Date: May 2nd, 2007 5:09 PM
Author: done and done (facts are fascist)

180 for the last line, awesome. I hadn't even put that together

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8050003)





Date: May 2nd, 2007 5:15 PM
Author: :;;;;.............,.,.,.,..,,,,,,,,,,,..,.,.,.,.,. (<Party of Five>)


A++++++++++++++

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8050025)





Date: May 2nd, 2007 5:17 PM
Author: Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer

Nice attempt, but much like the young lion that chases without stalking, you went for the kill too soon.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8050037)





Date: May 2nd, 2007 5:09 PM
Author: dannieb

although I am officially retired....

Steve:

Hello Chad, how may I help you?

Chad:

Hey, I have a quick question for you....

Steve:

I hope I may help?

Chad:

I saw that PBS show last night and was wondering about someone on their named Oaks, I think???

Chad:

Or maybe Oak

Chad:

Anyway, I was just wondering if this guy is really a leader of your church, or if he's some kind of maverick--he said some pretty crazy stuff.

Steve:

Yes, Dallin H. Oaks is an apostle of our church.

Chad:

like, "members of the church can't criticize leaders even if the criticism is true"!!!???!!!

Chad:

made you guys come across as a bunch of sheep, to tell you the truth

Chad:

and then the section on intellectuals, holy cow

Chad:

do you really excommunicate people just for writing the truth about your history?

Steve:

Chad, are you interested in learning more about the Restoration of Christ's Gospel, or did you just come here to argue?

Chad:

just had some questions, steve, isn't that what this chat thing is about?

Chad:

am i arguing? you sound a little defensive

Steve:

Yes, we are here to help those interested in learning more about the Restoration. Have you heard of Joseph Smith before?

Chad:

yeah, I watched the pbs show. guy was pretty out there--30+ wives, head-in-a-hat stuff...

Chad:

you guys have distanced yourselves from this guy, right?

Steve:

He is a prophet of God. He restored many truths and brought forth the Book of Mormon.

Steve:

I challenge you te read the Book of Mormon and pray and ask God if it is true.

Chad:

I'm really interested in the intellectual thing, though. I was thinking about really looking into Mormonism, but that is scary...

Chad:

to excommunicate people for just telling the truth...

Chad:

sounds like the catholic church back in the day

And that was it, I was blocked out of replying.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8050004)





Date: May 2nd, 2007 5:12 PM
Author: rangerlaw

hey sarcaschtick, why don't you give it a try?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8050019)





Date: May 2nd, 2007 5:15 PM
Author: done and done (facts are fascist)

at work, I'll have to pass for now

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8050026)





Date: May 2nd, 2007 5:37 PM
Author: there\'s a wocket in my pocket

Gerald Henderson:

Hail, brother.

Steve:

Has transferred you to:

Bryce D:

Hello, how may I help you?

Gerald Henderson:

Hi, I am a new convert to the church

Gerald Henderson:

And someone referred me to this site

Bryce D:

Awesome

Gerald Henderson:

I have a question

Gerald Henderson:

That I am embarassed to ask

Gerald Henderson:

at my church, because I am new

Bryce D:

Ok, well this is brand new. We use the chat to talk with non-members, investigators, etc. and try to help answer any questions they have

Bryce D:

Ok

Gerald Henderson:

Oh, so I shouldn't talk to you?

Bryce D:

Alright, well hopefully I can help

Gerald Henderson:

Ok...

Bryce D:

You can ask me, that is fine

Gerald Henderson:

Is this confidential? I mean, will you tell my church about this? Can you see my computer megahurtz and that kind of thing? (I'm new to the interwebs and the tube thing scares me) Or is this one way?

Bryce D:

This information is completely confidential. It is not used for anything besides helping you

Gerald Henderson:

Ok, that sounds fair

Gerald Henderson:

Ok...so like I said, I'm new to the church

Gerald Henderson:

As a teenager, I was pretty lost

Gerald Henderson:

and practiced all manners of sexual deviance

Gerald Henderson:

I'm tempted by it still, but I don't know where to go to find out if this stuff is permitted or not

Gerald Henderson:

I don't FEEL it's wrong, but I can't be certain

Gerald Henderson:

I was pretty heavily into WGWAG

Bryce D:

ok

Gerald Henderson:

I just want to do the right thing, but some people in the secular world look down upon those who practice WGWAG

Bryce D:

I'm not sure what you are refering to by WGWAG but as you probably know, sexual relations and things of the sort are sacred and should be done between a husband and a wife

Gerald Henderson:

Oh, right

Gerald Henderson:

WGWAG means, white girls with asian guys.

Gerald Henderson:

(I'm asian(

Gerald Henderson:

So within the confines of marriage, a WGWAG is acceptable?

Bryce D:

Ok, I'm not sure what the problem is, though

Gerald Henderson:

Does the church permit WGWAG? (White Girls with Asian Guys)

Gerald Henderson:

Sometimes people will look down on me when I am out in public with a white girl

Bryce D:

I'm not sure what you are meaning by that. Are you refering to an asian dating or marrying a white person?

Gerald Henderson:

Yes, that's right!

Gerald Henderson:

But specifically, an asian male and a white female

Bryce D:

The Church does not look down on interracial relationships.

Bryce D:

We are all children of God

Gerald Henderson:

What a blessing! WGWAG!

Gerald Henderson:

Ok, now in a WGWAG marriage

Gerald Henderson:

are there any 'unclean' sexual practices?

Gerald Henderson:

For example, I used to be Muslim, and the Koran prohibited anal WGWAG sex EVEN if you were married!

Bryce D:

That is something that should be discussed between you and your bishop

Gerald Henderson:

(Sorry if this is too personal but I'm embarrased to ask in real life)

Bryce D:

I understand, but to be honest, we are not here to discuss things of that sort

Gerald Henderson:

Can you give me any hints? My wife is not yet converted (she's white, hth) and is basically begging for it, but I'm refraining because I don't want to let down the Church.

Gerald Henderson:

Ok, I understand.

Bryce D:

That is something I cannot discuss, I am sorry

Gerald Henderson:

Ok, so no anal until I talk to my bishop.

Gerald Henderson:

Thanks.

Gerald Henderson:

That was it for now, brother

Bryce D:

Sorry about that

Gerald Henderson:

Thank you.

Gerald Henderson:

May the wind always be at your back adventurer

Bryce D:

Talk with your bishop

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8050115)





Date: May 2nd, 2007 5:39 PM
Author: done and done (facts are fascist)

'May the wind always be at your back adventurer'

I just pissed my pants

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8050126)





Date: May 3rd, 2007 12:45 AM
Author: .....,.....,......,.,.,.,.,.,....,.,.,..,.,...,.




(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8052599)





Date: May 3rd, 2007 7:13 PM
Author: loafer

please?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8055934)





Date: May 2nd, 2007 5:40 PM
Author: fulano

nice. appreciate the wind line at the end as well

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8050134)





Date: May 2nd, 2007 5:43 PM
Author: rangerlaw

well played

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8050150)





Date: May 2nd, 2007 5:46 PM
Author: Moonshine Hi11bi11y

180.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8050164)





Date: May 2nd, 2007 5:49 PM
Author: :;;;;.............,.,.,.,..,,,,,,,,,,,..,.,.,.,.,. (<Party of Five>)


Niiiiiiice.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8050183)





Date: May 2nd, 2007 5:51 PM
Author: Handmaid

Congratulations, you made me laugh for the first time in 5 days.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8050194)





Date: May 4th, 2007 10:27 AM
Author: Chicken voting for Colonel Sanders

Same. The "The Church does not look down on interracial relationships" part really got me for some reason.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8058776)





Date: May 2nd, 2007 5:52 PM
Author: ..........,,...........,................


I'm still laughing as I type this. Awesome.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8050198)





Date: May 2nd, 2007 6:04 PM
Author: An Army of Liberal Lawyers

"Gerald Henderson:

Ok, so no anal until I talk to my bishop. "

Awesome. I can't wait for sarcaschtick's one. He's their worst nightmare.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8050245)





Date: May 2nd, 2007 7:10 PM
Author: Lucky Wang

Fantastic

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8050585)





Date: May 2nd, 2007 7:56 PM
Author: sarcaschtick\'s Betrayed Mother

This is made entirely of WIN!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8050811)





Date: May 2nd, 2007 8:42 PM
Author: adalia

beautiful.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8051056)





Date: May 3rd, 2007 2:26 AM
Author: Poontonimous

"Can you see my computer megahurtz and that kind of thing?"

I like.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8053131)





Date: May 3rd, 2007 1:15 PM
Author: lookthengo (non-trad 0L looking to party)

180^180^180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8054571)





Date: May 3rd, 2007 1:21 PM
Author: A Simple Asian Man

good job d00d.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8054604)





Date: May 3rd, 2007 3:39 PM
Author: loafer

god damn that was good

i love the "hth" stuck inconspicuously in the middle.

ty ty ty

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8055153)





Date: May 4th, 2007 10:10 AM
Author: C+C™ (Gonna Make You Sweat)

holy fuck that was great



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8058698)





Date: May 5th, 2007 12:26 PM
Author: @323##322

INSPIRED!!!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8065217)





Date: May 6th, 2007 2:56 PM
Author: newusername

Awesome

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8071342)





Date: May 6th, 2007 10:49 PM
Author: Hooked on Eugenics

180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8074464)





Date: May 7th, 2007 12:54 PM
Author: OP (in ur base killin ur d00dz)

I don't really approve of this thread, but still, authentic 180.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8077532)





Date: September 28th, 2007 2:36 AM
Author: pretzel

AMAZING

A+A+A+A+A+A+A+A+

I am so glad to be reading this now that I do not regret missing this the first time around

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8699252)





Date: November 11th, 2007 6:33 PM
Author: PeterGunz

I'm 6 months late, but this gets a 180.

"May the wind always be at your back adventurer" absolutely sealed the deal.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8882858)





Date: November 19th, 2007 6:43 PM
Author: ....,,.....,...,,...,..,...,,,...,,...,


oh god im hyperventilating im laughing so much

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8915156)





Date: March 6th, 2008 3:19 AM
Author: My

gj

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#9436937)





Date: May 2nd, 2007 5:53 PM
Author: rangerlaw

Brandon:

Has transferred you to:

Craig:

How may I help you today?

Jane:

Does your religion believe in the Bible?

Craig:

We definitely do. We believe the Bible to contain the word of God.

Craig:

We also believe that The Book of Mormon is the word of God also.

Jane:

The Bible says we are saved by Grace through the Atonement of Christ, not our works, lest any man should boast.

Jane:

But when I talked to my Mormon friend, he said that you can't go to heaven unless you are baptized mormon and follow all their rules.

Craig:

We believe that it is through Christ and His Atonement that we can be saved.

Craig:

We believe it is Christ's Atonement that gives us a chance to repent of our sins and to be cleansed from them.

Jane:

Okay, i understand that but why do you have to be married in a mormon temple to get to the highest level of heaven which is where my friend says God will be.

Jane:

Does that mean a Catholic nun who has devoted her entire life to God can't go to where God will actually be?

Craig:

We believe that the only way a man and wife can be together after this life is through the marriage ordinance that is performed our temples. As for who gets to go to the highest level of heaven with God......

Jane:

What about Mother Theresa? I asked my friend, and he said she would have to be baptized mormon after she dies/died.

Craig:

I can't say who will and won't go there because I am not the judge.

Craig:

I know that Christ is our Judge and He will judge righteously and will know how to judge people. Whether they be a righteous catholic nun, a righteous Mormon, or a horrible murderer.

Craig:

I know there are plenty of good people in the world who are not "mormons." And I can't say if they will or won't make it to heaven.

Jane:

But the teachings of your religion according to my friend is you must be mormon and temple-married to get there. Is he just a random nut and you guys really don't believe this?

Craig:

But I do know that we will each obtain the level of heaven in which we are worthy. Christ is the judge and only He can say who will or won't make it to have eternal life with Him and Heavenly Father.

Jane:

Another thing that bothers me is why a woman can't be a pastor/clergy in your church. They can in some other churches and I don't think got is sexist.

Craig:

Let me send you a link that helps to explain this position.....

Jane:

Oops, I mean "God"

Jane:

How can you explain away God trusting men more than women? I don't get this.

Craig:

Let me know if this link pops up.

Craig:

http://mormon.org/question/faq/category/answer/0,9777,1601-1-63-1,00.html

(This URL is opening in the browser window that you opened the chat window from.)

Craig:

This one might help also.

Craig:

http://mormon.org/learn/0,8672,1588-1,00.html

(This URL is opening in the browser window that you opened the chat window from.)

Craig:

Did these help with your concern?

Jane:

Because "the Lord has put it that way" and it's "part of His program?" These are your answers? Then I don't think you guys believe in a Lord that is fair and unbiased.

Jane:

Are we not good enough to be his prophets and religious leaders?

Craig:

I'm sorry you feel that way. The God I know is fair and loves all of His children. We don't always understand why He does what He does, but I do know that He knows what is best for us. Women are no less qualified then men to be religious leaders.....

Craig:

They just play a different role. This is a role that God has revealed to us through His prophets.

Jane:

What role is that?

Craig:

The woman and the man work together to teach their children about God and raise them to the best of their abilities. The men may take care of the administrative duties of the church, but as those links I sent you point out......

Jane:

To be in that society the link was talking about?

Craig:

The women do play a major role in the church and in how it is run.

Jane:

My friend says a woman's place is in the home. I think he's kind of a jerk in his thinking but he does have other good qualities.

Jane:

He asked me to go to church with him and his family, but I don't know... I have never been a church-goer tho I have read the Bible some.

Jane:

But honestly, sometimes the guy makes me feel uncomfortable. He seems real nice and freindly but he also seems a bit nosy and judgemental at times.

Craig:

One thing we can do to find answers to these questions we may have is to ask God.....

Jane:

What makes your religion better than others? He claims mormons are the only true church.

Craig:

I don't like to look at it as the "Mormons" being right and everybody else being wrong, but I like to look at it as many of these churches contain parts of the truth but not all of the truth, while The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints contains

Craig:

the complete truth.

Craig:

Let me send you a talk from one of our apostles that explains this really well.....

Jane:

If you mean pray, I have. Not really to ask what church to go to, I don't think it matters if you accept Jesus as your savior and try to be a good person. I don't think g

Craig:

He really explains how many of these other churches have essential truths involved with their doctrines.....

Jane:

I don't think God is mean or strict, just wants us to try to live a good life and be happy. Why would he say, sorry, you didn't do this and this so you can't be with me?

Craig:

This link I am sending should explain more about how many churches contain essenetial doctrines, but not the complete fulness of the gospel.

Craig:

http://lds.org/portal/site/LDSOrg/menuitem.b12f9d18fae655bb69095bd3e44916a0/?vgnextoid=2354fccf2b7db010VgnVCM1000004d82620aRCRD&locale=0&sourceId=6766945bd384b010VgnVCM1000004d82620a____&hideNav=1

(This URL is opening in the browser window that you opened the chat window from.)

Craig:

Let me know what you think after you have read through this talk.

Jane:

"Now to those who think us uncharitable, we say that it was not devised by us; it was declared by Him, for he gave commandments to the early brethren, and I quote..." This quote from the article you sent me makes me wonder two things:

Jane:

1. Why does there have to be one true religion. Why cant they all be a sincere effort of people trying to follow Christ's teachings?

Jane:

And,

Jane:

2. So this guy who wrote the article is trying to say, we are the only true church, but hey, we're not being uncharitable - God is!!

Jane:

My friend told me a little bit about the temple and says once you go there you have to wear sacred undergarments. I have never heard of this.

Craig:

I think as you finish this article, you will find answers to these two concerns. Let me know when you have finished the article and then we can discuss the concerns you may still have.

Jane:

Ok will finish the article. I worry about the underwear thing later.

Craig:

That sounds like a good idea.

Jane:

Ok, I read it but I'm not believing it. So the mormon religion is better beacuse it is like a degree at Harvard instead of the U of Pheonix. And other religions are not playing with a full keyboard? This Packer guy is not playing with a full deck! I don't want to offend your beliefs, I respect that you believe but I don't think I will be going to church with my freind. thanks for your time and god bless.



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8050203)





Date: May 2nd, 2007 5:59 PM
Author: :;;;;.............,.,.,.,..,,,,,,,,,,,..,.,.,.,.,. (<Party of Five>)


Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.

Bryce D:

Hello, how may I help you?

Samantha:

Hi, I'm a new convert but I have some questions that I really want answered.

Bryce D:

Ok, hopefully I can help

Samantha:

Uh, does the church look down upon Caucasian females marrying Asian males? My husband just joined the church and he seemed worried about this.

Bryce D:

I actually just talked to someone about this

Samantha:

Really? What was your answer?

Bryce D:

We believe that we are all children of God and therefore race should not matter. The only thing the Church has said was our prophet, Gordon B. Hinckley, advised us to be smart about who we marry and make sure they are the right person for us

Bryce D:

Pres. Hinckley said that sometimes it can be challenging to mix cultures and ethnicity but that that does not mean that it is wrong, he just said we need to be smart about our decisions

Bryce D:

Does that make sense?

Samantha:

I watched a documentary and I heard that blacks were banned from the church for a long time. I heard nothing about Asians so I'm worried.

Samantha:

Yes, that does make sense. :)

Bryce D:

We are all children of God. God does not look down on one's skin color or anything like that. I hope this has helped

Samantha:

I..have another personal question. Is anal okay? I love anal but my husband refuses to do anything with me. I think he's too embarrassed to ask anyone directly so I'm asking for him.

Samantha:

'cause honestly, I really miss it.

(I get banned at this point.)

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8050228)





Date: May 2nd, 2007 6:00 PM
Author: done and done (facts are fascist)

'I actually just talked to someone about this'

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8050229)





Date: May 2nd, 2007 6:01 PM
Author: rangerlaw

I started to laugh at that point

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8050236)





Date: May 2nd, 2007 6:01 PM
Author: there\'s a wocket in my pocket

Wow. Awesome follow-up.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8050235)





Date: May 2nd, 2007 6:04 PM
Author: dannieb

Kevin:

This is Kevin from the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. How may I help you?

michael:

I read that Brigham Young said if the a black person and a white person produce any offspring it should be death on the spot for the couple. Is this true. My friend is African American and looking into the church, and I was reading about you guys online and came across several rascists statements made by your church. I don't know any Mormons personally, so I came here to aske the question.

Kevin:

I have never heard this.

Kevin:

I would question the source.

michael:

Here is the quote. It is on several internet sites. “Shall I tell you the law of God in regard to the AFRICAN RACE? If the WHITE man who belongs to the chosen seed mixes his blood with the seed of Cain, the PENALTY, under the LAW OF GOD, IS DEATH ON THE SPOT. THIS WILL ALWAYS BE SO.” (Journal of Discourses, Vol. 10, page 110)

Kevin:

Interesting. I have never heard it.

Kevin:

One thing to note is that the journal of discouses is not official doctrine.

michael:

I learned from research that when your church says "seed of Cain" it is referring to blacks.

Kevin:

I'm not sure what to say... is this a question or a statement?

Kevin:

The color of anyone does not effect their relationship with God or the standing in this church.

michael:

I just want to know if that is what you believe. I have a black friend who is looking into your church and I am wondering if this is where he needs to be. I also have another quote from another leader Bruce R. McConkie: “Certainly the caste systems in communist countries and in India, for instance, are man made and are not based on true principles. “However, in a broad sense, CASTE SYSTEMS have their ROOT and ORIGIN in the GOSPEL itself, and when they operate according to the DIVINE DECREE, the resultant restrictions and SEGREGATION ARE RIGHT AND PROPER AND HAVE THE APPROVAL OF THE LORD. To illustrate: Cain, Ham, and the whole negro race HAVE BEEN CURSED WITH A BLACK SKIN, the mark of Cain, so they can be identified as a CASTE APART, a people with whom the other descendants of Adam should not intermarry.”

(Mormon Doctrine, 1958, pp. 107-108)

Kevin:

I have an inventation for you...

michael:

My friend is dating a white girl. If they get married will your church look down on it?

michael:

I don't understand what official doctrine means. If your prophets say this stuff don't you believe that they are true?

Kevin:

you have many questions, more than we could ever answer here. I would like to invite you to read the Book of Mormon. Have you ever heard of it? The problem is that doing research on antagonistic websites presents slanted views. Go to the sources...

Kevin:

mormon.org, lds.org, and especially the Book of Mormon.

michael:

From my research your members revere your prophets as men who actually speak for God on earth. So was BY speaking for God?

Kevin:

Your friend will not be looked down on if he marries a white girl. It makes no difference.

Kevin:

Yes, we hold the same belief.

Kevin:

We also understand that prophets have opinions.

Kevin:

When they speak as a prophet we listen.

Kevin:

When they speak as a person we listen, but understand they are human.

michael:

I understand that some websites can be biased and slanted, but I think you are kidding yourself that Brigham Young never said that. I don't know what the Journal of Discourses is, but I did research and know that your church published it.

Kevin:

That's great. Another thing you can do is request one through the mail on the mormon.org website.

Kevin:

Book of Mormon that is.

michael:

Is it possible that at one time the church thought blacks were subhuman and inferior like many slave owners or the past, and have now changed their view like everyone else?

michael:

Maybe Mormons were pro slavery back in the day and now they are not.

Kevin:

The Church...no. People within the Church...perhaps. Isn't it the same in every organization?

michael:

So Brigham Young could've been racist, but that doesn't mean other members were.

michael:

Maybe he was a product of his time.

michael:

Maybe your church has changed since the old days, but I still think your early leaders believed blacks were inferior. Like I said, I have a black friend who is interested in your church and I am just looking out for his best interests.

michael:

Well, I guess that's that huh? I guess I will see you later.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8050250)





Date: May 2nd, 2007 6:07 PM
Author: lawschooldesire

You are speaking live with Adrian, who is a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Information provided in this session is to provide assistance only and is not an official statement of the Church.

Sorensen:

Hi Ryan.

Ryan:

Has transferred you to:

Adrian:

how can i help you?

Sorensen:

Hi Adrian. Do you have a few minutes to answer some questions?

Adrian:

Yes of course.

Sorensen:

What makes your church different from others? I am talking to the missionaries and have lots of questions.

Adrian:

God restored his church and the fulness of the gospel once again on this earth through Joseph Smith, our fisrt modern day Prophet.

Adrian:

We have a living day prophet today who receives revelation from God. He is God's mouth piece.

Sorensen:

I feel good when I talk to the missionaries but after they leave I then I hear bad things about the church that I don't know if they are true or not.

Adrian:

Through Joseph Smith God restored the same authority that Christ gave to his apostles.

Adrian:

There is alot of bad things said against the church, many rumors. You feel good because it is right. Satan doesn't want you to hear truth. That's why there are so many people saying bad things. They aren't true.

Adrian:

Is there anything that you would like me to clear up?

Sorensen:

What is "blood atonement"?

Adrian:

Thats the spirit testifing to you that what you are hearing is true. Have you prayed and asked God what the missionaries have taught you is true.

Sorensen:

I believe it is true when I am talking to the missionaries, but after they leave, I start to have doubts. My friends tell me bad things about the church.

Adrian:

I'm not sure what 'blood atonement' is, but I can tell you what the Atonement of Jesus Christ is.

Adrian:

Jesus Christ atoned for our sins, or in other words, took upon him all the sins of the world so that we can repent and be made clean of sin.

Sorensen:

I don't what it is either, but the baptist lady next door told me to ask.

Sorensen:

She showed me a book called "mormon doctrine"

Adrian:

Satan works hard to keep us from following the commandments and hearing truth, but I encourage you to keep talking with the missionaries and clear up any doubt you may have.

Adrian:

There are many anti-mormon books written. They are not true.

Sorensen:

I am thinking of joining, but my neighbor is giving me doubts with the books she is showing me. I am praying really hard to know the truth. I am so confused.

Adrian:

Just follow your heart, listen to the spirit. What the missionaries teach you is the word of God and is true. Have you been to church and/or read some of the Book of Mormon?

Sorensen:

Yes, I have been to church a couple of times and have read some passages from the book of mormon the missionaries told me to read. It feels good but I have doubts from what others have told me.

Adrian:

I'm so glad that you have taken the time to be taught the word of God. What answer have you received from your prayers?

Sorensen:

As I was praying, the door bell rang and it was.........

Sorensen:

....my baptist neighbor.

Adrian:

I can promise you that if you pray and ask God that what the missionaries have taught you, the spirit will testify to you of its truthfulness, and it doesn't matter what anyone else says once you know its true, because it's your salvation.

Sorensen:

My neighbor used to be mormon and shared this with me. What does it mean? "Health in the navel, marrow in the bones, strength in the loins, and in the sinews, power in the priesthood, be upon me and upon my posterity through all generations of time and throughout all eternity."

Adrian:

You have been taught by the missionaries, you have attended our church, you know its good and true.

Adrian:

This is sacred stuff that should not be discussed.

Sorensen:

Sorry about that. My neighbor told me to ask the missionaries this. What does it mean?

Adrian:

It's not that it's secret, but it's sacred. Its okay, since you didn't know, but your neighbor shouldn't have told you that.

Sorensen:

Should I perform blood atonement on her?

Adrian:

In the Temple we perform sacred ordinances between the Lord, and we make conenants that we must keep. We cannot discuse what goes on in the Temple becasue it is sacred. I'm sorry what is Blood atonement?

Sorensen:

I don't know what it is but my neighbor keeps talking about it. I am very confused.

Adrian:

I know you are receiving alot of opposition. Who should you listen to? Someone that is a member of the faith, or someone that opposes, or doesn't understand it.

Adrian:

Do you believe that Joseph smith was a prophet called of God and that the Book of Mormon is true?

Sorensen:

My neighbor said this blood atonement stuff comes from the book mormon doctrine by an apostle Mcconnie.

Adrian:

Did you see the questions I sent?

Sorensen:

Yes, I believe it with all my heart. But I am so confused.

Sorensen:

I was always taught to think with my brain and not my heart.

Adrian:

Are you familiar with the scripture in Proverbs 3:5-6? We need to listen to what God tells us, not what man tells us, because God is not the author of confusion.

Sorensen:

mommy is coming and doesn't like me on her computer. I need to go. She will spank me if she catches me. SHe is a real big broad.

Adrian:

have a nice day.



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8050259)





Date: May 2nd, 2007 7:59 PM
Author: Evan3000

"should i perform blood atonement on her?" gave me the roffles

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8050819)





Date: May 3rd, 2007 2:06 PM
Author: Well Done Roundhouse Flame

You inspired me.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8054811)





Date: May 2nd, 2007 6:08 PM
Author: Niggers Have a 180 on the COCKSAT

Steve:

How may I help you?

Bob:

Hi Steve! I saw the PBS special on the Mormons and I had some questions.

Steve:

I will do my best to answer them.

Bob:

Thanks. Mormons seem to have very close-knit families. Why is this? Is it just because the act of worshipping binds the family closer together, because of special emphasis Mormons place on the family, or because of familiarity (you know, growing up in the Church)?

Steve:

We do place a special emphasis on families.

Steve:

Here is a website about why families are so important to us:

Steve:

http://beta.mormon.org/mormonorg/v/index.jsp?vgnextoid=b4f4055b23710110VgnVCM1000003a94610aRCRD&locale=0&sourceId=e3c16db0580a1110VgnVCM100000176f620a____

(This URL is opening in the browser window that you opened the chat window from.)

Steve:

Did you get it?

Bob:

Thanks, yes, I did.

Bob:

A friend of mine told me that Mormons don't approve of interracial relationships. She was telling me about the Bob Jones case. Is this true?

Steve:

I actually do not know.

Steve:

I have never heard anything against these relationships.

Steve:

...from our church.

Bob:

So would a White girl be allowed to marry an Asian guy for example?

Bob:

Is that permitted?

Steve:

It is up to the two getting married. Our church places no restrictions on this subject.

Bob:

Good to know. My wife is White and I'm Asian, so that would have been a problem.

Bob:

Honestly speaking, you don't think we're freaks, I hope?

Bob:

Do you?

Bob:

Steve?

Steve:

No. I have several friends marrying people of other races.

Bob:

Really? That's good to know. I've heard that I would have to get married again to my wife if I became a Mormon? Is that true?

Bob:

Something about a secret temple?

Steve:

Eternal Marriage is truth which has been restored through our modern-day prophets.

Steve:

May I send you a website?

Bob:

Sure. I just finished reading the last one you sent me.

Steve:

http://mormon.org/learn/0,8672,1149-4,00.html

(This URL is opening in the browser window that you opened the chat window from.)

Bob:

Steve, unfortunately you sent a link in German.

Bob:

It says: "Die Familie kann für uns zur Quelle des größten Glücks werden. Nirgendwo anders empfinden wir so tiefe Liebe und so große Freude wie im Kreis der Familie. Die Familie kann uns die schönsten Erlebnisse unseres Lebens bescheren."

Bob:

And I can't read it.

Steve:

Sorry, one minute.

Bob:

Thanks.

Steve:

http://mormon.org/learn/0,8672,1149-1,00.html

(This URL is opening in the browser window that you opened the chat window from.)

Bob:

Where does it talk about eternal marriage?

Steve:

It mentions much about how families are very important to our church and how they are central to our Heavenly Father's Plan.

Steve:

I need to go, may I transfer you to my colleague McKay?

Bob:

Sure. Thanks a lot, Steve!

Steve:

Has transferred you to:

Bradley:

Hi, how may I help you?

Bob:

Hi Bradley!

Bob:

I was just talking to Steve about a question I had. Would I have to marry my wife again in a secret temple if I became Mormon?

Bradley:

Steve just left, let me send you to another person.

Bradley:

Has transferred you to:

Mckay:

Hi Bob, this is McKay, how can I help you?

Bob:

Hi Mckay! Wow, you guys must be busy today!

Bob:

Anyway, I was talking to Steve and I had a question about marriage.

Mckay:

We are, I'm sorry.

Bob:

No problem, I'm learning to be more patient.

Mckay:

Allright, I can do my best to answer your question, but the focus of the chat is based on the material found on the website.

Mckay:

What is your question?

Bob:

Well, two major ones. The first was that someone told me that Mormons don't allow interracial marriage. My wife is White and I'm Asian; this was a considerable problem at my last church.

Bob:

The second was that if I became a Mormon, I would have to marry my wife again in a secret temple.

Mckay:

That is not a true doctrine, there is no doctrine in our church that states that interracial marriage is not allowed.

Bob:

Thank you. That's a relief.

Bob:

What about the secret temple?

Mckay:

To answer your second question, let me tell you a little about temples and what their purpose is.

Bob:

OK.

Mckay:

First of all, in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, there is never any principle or ordinance that is forced upon anyone. Every person has their agency.

Mckay:

However the temple is more of a sacred place, not so much a secret place, where we go to make covenants with God.

Mckay:

For example, baptism is a covenant.

Mckay:

In the temple, we make specific covenants when we are worthy promising God that we will keep his commandments.

Bob:

You mean like the oaths taken in a Skull and Bones meeting? That sounds prestigious.

Mckay:

It is also a place where families, husbands and wives can be sealed not only for this life, but for all eternity. This is done through the priesthood of God.

Mckay:

No, its not like that at all.

Bob:

Oh, OK. What would be a better analogy?

Mckay:

The reason that temples may seem secret to you is because only those members of the church who are worthy may enter.

Bob:

It's just that every baptism I've been to has been a public event. Even bar mitzvahs are public. Trying to get my mind around this concept.

Mckay:

Are you investigating the church right now by speaking with missionaries?

Bob:

I'm trying to see whether I should start investigating the church. This seemed like a safe way to get a few answers to my questions. I mean, you can understand that I would want to know more about the Church before inviting people to my home, right?

Mckay:

Absolutely, that's why we have this program, I just wondered if the missionaries had allready come by and begun explaining things to you.

Bob:

I like what I see in a lot of Mormon communities: strong families, traditional values, talented choir, and so forth. But I grew up a strict Baptist home, where I never really heard good things about Mormons. So I guess I'm trying to sort between those things. Thanks for your patience.

Mckay:

I'd like to refer you to a link that goes into further detail about the temple.

Bob:

Sure, I'd be happy to take a look.

Mckay:

You're welcome, I understand how you feel.

Mckay:

http://beta.mormon.org/mormonorg/v/index.jsp?vgnextoid=4765055b23710110VgnVCM1000003a94610aRCRD&locale=0&sourceId=c0fa087d253a1110VgnVCM100000176f620a____

(This URL is opening in the browser window that you opened the chat window from.)

Mckay:

take a look at that page and let me know if you have any questions about anything you read.

Bob:

Don't take this the wrong way--but many of the Mormons I see are just...they seem so happy. My wife works with two Mormon women and she just thought they were so cheerful and so big...big hearted. I guess that seems at odds with everything I've heard about Mormons.

Mckay:

Well, I'm sorry that you've heard such negative things about us.

Bob:

No, maybe it's a good thing, because it's such a surprise to see how wonderful you all really seem to be.

Mckay:

We have strong families and are optimistic about life because of the teachings and principles that we live.

Bob:

Maybe that's a blessing.

Bob:

I guess I'm trying to understand those principles and what it is that seems to set you apart from even other Christians.

Bob:

It kind of reminds me of the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air, where Will Smith goes to a completely different family from the one he knew on the streets.

Mckay:

"Bob", we have been receiving a number of spam messages about white women with Asian men. If you are only here to cause trouble, please stop.

Bob:

I promise I'm not.

Bob:

Mckay?

Bob:

I promise. Just one last question?

Mckay:

I'll try my best to help, but only if you are seriously seeking the truth.

Bob:

Would you pray with me?

Mckay:

Of course.

Bob:

Dear Grateful Shiteater, Big Changes have descended upon me at this time. I'm glad you sent me this prestigious Skull and Bones religion, instead of some TTT Quaker guy. May you bless Brother Mckay here, as he lovingly pwns the cunnus of his cheerful wife with big tits. I pray that tomorrow will not be a rainy day.

For some reason, I got blocked.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8050260)





Date: May 2nd, 2007 6:19 PM
Author: there\'s a wocket in my pocket

"Bob", we have been receiving a number of spam messages about white women with Asian men. If you are only here to cause trouble, please stop.

Incredible.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8050306)





Date: May 5th, 2007 12:36 PM
Author: @323##322

LOLlerskates!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8065236)





Date: May 2nd, 2007 6:20 PM
Author: :;;;;.............,.,.,.,..,,,,,,,,,,,..,.,.,.,.,. (<Party of Five>)


HOLY SHIT 180^180.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8050310)





Date: May 2nd, 2007 6:31 PM
Author: dannieb

this should be a winner.

can I have your permission to post this on an anti-mormon website?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8050362)





Date: May 2nd, 2007 6:38 PM
Author: Niggers Have a 180 on the COCKSAT

Go for it.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8050407)





Date: May 2nd, 2007 8:34 PM
Author: sarcaschtick\'s Betrayed Mother

Bob: You mean like the oaths taken in a Skull and Bones meeting? That sounds prestigious.

180!!!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8051010)





Date: May 2nd, 2007 8:51 PM
Author: adalia

the prayer has me cracking up.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8051104)





Date: May 2nd, 2007 8:58 PM
Author: NYLS 2L

this will certainly accumulate many 180s.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8051137)





Date: May 3rd, 2007 1:22 PM
Author: lookthengo (non-trad 0L looking to party)

one to the fucking eighty

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8054607)





Date: May 5th, 2007 1:41 AM
Author: Lucky Wang

Fantastic work.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8063913)





Date: May 19th, 2007 1:52 PM
Author: Barry \"Obama\" Gibson

This one will be tough to top.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8140033)





Date: May 2nd, 2007 6:09 PM
Author: rangerlaw

Craig:

Has transferred you to:

Bryson:

Hi, thank you for contacting The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. How may I help you?

Kyle:

I work with a Mormon lady. She is always telling me her church is true. She tells me not to drink coffee because God commanded it. I have never heard of this before.

Kyle:

What's wrong with coffee?

Kyle:

Hello.... Bryson... Craig... Anyone?

Bryson:

Well, we have a prophet. A prophet is a man called of God and given the authority to act in God's name. Through prophets we are able to recieve modern revelation where the prophet speaks to God face to face. In that modern revelation we have been...

Bryson:

...council to abstain, or not drink coffee. There are some opinions about why, but we know that if we follow the prophet and obey, we will be blessed.

Kyle:

So a prophet said no coffee, or did God tell a prophet not to drink coffee. I have never heard this counsel where do I find it.

Bryson:

God told the prophet to give us the council to not drink coffee. We have records or revelation given to the prophet Joseph Smith, which is called the Doctrine and Covenants. In those records...

Kyle:

Can I get this book at Barnes and Noble?

Bryson:

...we are given council to not drink coffee, alcohol, use illegal drugs, tobacco and other addicting substances.

Kyle:

Sometimes I like to go to Barnes and Noble and get a coffee and read a book. I probably shouldn't do that with your book. Correct?

Bryson:

No, this book cannot be found in Barnes and Noble. I can however send you a book called the Book of Mormon which was translated by the prophet Joseph through the power of God.

Bryson:

Would you be interested in recieving a copy of this book?

Kyle:

When you say addicting substances do you also mean junk food? I say this because I am healthy and thin and my LDS coworker is obese. She eats Taco Bell like everyday and drinks a lot of Coke. I find it funny that she tells me my coffee is bad for me when she is due a heart attack anytime.

Kyle:

How much is your book. Can my co-worker get me one?

Bryson:

The book is free and yes your co-worker can get you one. We would, however, like to offer to have two representatives come over to your home and bring that book to you if you want.

Kyle:

Also, my co-worker says God said no alcohol. I can understand this because my dad used to get drunk and then take off his clothes and beat my mom and me. He went to jail. I hate alcohol and people who drink it because of this.

Bryson:

Yeah, that's right, there are many good reasons not to drink alcohol.

Bryson:

Would you like two representatives bring you a copy and share a message with you about the book?

Kyle:

Dude, I cannot have anyone come visit me or try and convert me. I just moved in with my girlfriend and she HATES all religions. I don't want to screw things up with my girlfriend.

Kyle:

I know I just made her sound like a pyscho, but she is not, and she is totally hot, so I don't want to blow a good thing. Know what I mean? Can I order this book online?

Bryson:

http://www.mormon.org/seenontv/1,19733,6199-1,00.html

(This URL is opening in the browser window that you opened the chat window from.)

Kyle:

Thanks man. Is it normal for Mormons to act like they are better than everyone like my co-worker does? You seem pretty level headed.

Bryson:

Well, keep in mind no one is perfect. Not all Mormons try to make others feel inferior. I know that our Heavenly Father loves us and he wants us to return to live with him again and as we obey his commandments and do as he would have us we can live with..

Bryson:

...him again.

Kyle:

I will look into your website. I like how you guys have a code of health and all, and I respect my co-worker for living by it, but she seriously needs to join Jenny Craig. Thanks for your time.

Bryson:

You're very welcome! Anything else I can help you with?

Kyle:

No, but thank you.

Bryson:

I know that if you order the book, read it, and then pray to know that if it is true then you will come to know that it is true through the Holy Ghost. You will be blessed.

Bryson:

Will you order it, read it, then pray to know if it is true?

Kyle:

Yeah, but sometimes I have to drink coffee when I read a book. It helps me stay awake. Is that OK?

Bryson:

Well, God has given these commandments and we will be blessed if we live them. I would challenge you to not drink the coffee while reading. I know that if you do your understanding will increase and...

Bryson:

...the Holy Ghost can better speak to you, and tell you these things are true.

Bryson:

Will you read it without drinking coffee?

Kyle:

I understand. How about Mountain Dew? My Mormon co-worker drinks it and she seems pretty religious. Maybe I should switch to like diet Mountain Dew or something, since it has no sugar.

Bryson:

That would be fine. I know that as you do the things you have committed to do, that you will be blessed. You will find happiness in this life. The gospel of Jesus Christ has blessed my life a great deal...

Bryson:

I find peace and love in my heart when I obey and do as Heavenly Father would have me do. I know you can and will too.

Bryson:

Will you read and pray to know if the Book of Mormon is true?

Kyle:

Alright I kick back with a Mountain Dew and read your book and pray about it. I don't want to take it any further with that though because of my girlfriend. I better get going. She wants me to come to bed and watch the Sopranos with her. Thanks for your time. C-Ya!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8050267)





Date: May 5th, 2007 11:53 AM
Author: reverse commute

underrated

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8065102)





Date: May 5th, 2007 2:34 PM
Author: godofprestige

Barnes & noble = 180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8065715)





Date: March 7th, 2008 8:44 PM
Author: DeanRobbins395



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#9446144)





Date: May 2nd, 2007 6:12 PM
Author: rangerlaw

Morgan:

Hello. How may I help you?

carlo:

hello i have a question about the book of mormon

Morgan:

Alright, go ahead. I will do what I can to answer it.

carlo:

i recieved one from a friend at work and they asked me to read it

carlo:

and then pray about it

Morgan:

Wonderful. Have you had the chance to read any of it?

carlo:

yes

carlo:

my question is if i'm praying the way they expect me to

carlo:

becuase i'm not feeling what they said i would feel

carlo:

and i am feeling confused

carlo:

am i doing something wrong

Morgan:

I understand that it can be difficult sometimes to know how we receive answers, especially if someone has told us we should be feeling.

Morgan:

What do you think about the Book of Mormon?

carlo:

i havent read all of it

carlo:

but it seems pretty interesting

Morgan:

Well I am glad to hear that you are enjoying it.

Morgan:

Do you know much about the Book of Mormon and what it is?

carlo:

my friend says that it is a stoyr about the origin of the central american idians and that jesus came to them

carlo:

i'm interested in that stuff because i used to live in mexico on the yucatan

carlo:

my friend and i were talking about the quetzalcoatl legends and that's when he gave me the book of mormon

Morgan:

Well that is exciting. I used to live in Belize, I love it down there. You are right. The Book of Mormon was written by people that lived on this continent. They were prophets, they had people that believed in Christ and wanted to follow Him. It is a

carlo:

i was very close to belize...it is a great country and the people are wondrful

Morgan:

companion to the Bible. It is a way that we can know that Christ loves all men, no matter where they are or who they are, He wants us to feel of His love and grow closer to Him.

Morgan:

What have you felt when you read it?

carlo:

mostly curiosity. it seems like an interesting story although i'm not sure how accurate it is

carlo:

but i didn't feel anything "special" and i was sort of expecting to given what my friend said

carlo:

maybe my expectations were too high?

carlo:

i talked to my friend about it but i felt kind of uncomfortable about it so he said to talk to missionaries

carlo:

he gave me the website address and so here i am

Morgan:

Well, everyone feels it completely different. I don't get extreme feelings or some great inspiration when I read the Book of Mormon, sometimes I feel similar to you, more intrigued and with desires to know more, sometimes with more questions about the

Morgan:

gospel, sometimes I feel peace and just plain contentment.

Morgan:

I am glad that you got on today. I can tell you that the Book of Mormon is true, but not through immediate feelings or great revelations. I know because I feel a little more peace, hope, love, desire or faith when I read it. More than anything, it has

Morgan:

been the blessings I have received when I act upon one of the teachings.

carlo:

what happens if i don't feel any of that though

carlo:

it seems like it talks about some common sense ideas like kindness to others and so forth but nothing really earth-shattering...maybe i haven't read enough of it yet?

Morgan:

I would invite you to continue to study and pray, but also to put into practice the principles that it teaches.

carlo:

which ones though...is there anything specific i should be doing other than trying to be a good person (which i am already doing as well as i can)

Morgan:

Well I know there are important truths in this book, but it is a companion to the Bible so many of the truths we are very familiar with. I don't read it to find out some great secret of God, but to strengthen my faith in Him.

Morgan:

One of the greatest truths that is taught in the Book of Mormon is the plan of salvation. It is the plan that our Father in Heaven has created for His children. It teaches us about where we came from, why we are here and what happens after this life.

Morgan:

Knowing of this plan has helped me so many times in my life to continue during trials and to have hope, it also helps me to enjoy even more the good times.

carlo:

i guess i'd better read it again because so far i haven't seen anything about the where we came from and what happens after this life stuff yet :)

carlo:

well thank you for chatting with me...i guess i'll keep reading and praying over the book and see where i end up

Morgan:

You are welcome, also we have missionaries in your area who would like to come and help answer your questions in person. Would you be interested in visiting with them?

carlo:

i think maybe i'd better finish the book first, but thank you for offering

Morgan:

I know that they are there to help and feel free to ask your friend as well. I know that if you ask sincerely and put the principles in practice you will see a difference little by little in your life.

carlo:

well i don't drink, smoke, cuss or fool around on my wife so maybe God's phone is just busy right now...i'll keep at it! :)

carlo:

have a good day



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8050276)





Date: May 2nd, 2007 6:13 PM
Author: rangerlaw

from my roommate

Brandon:

Thank you for contacting the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints how may i help you?

Michael:

DO you believe that a church that claims to be true should be entirely true, otherwise it makes it difficult to determine exactly what aspects of this church are in fact true.

Brandon:

Yes

Brandon:

What questions do you have?

Michael:

So if there are parts of the Mormon church that I know to be false, then it makes it very difficult to believe anything else coming from the church.

Brandon:

What do you believe to be false?

Michael:

That your hierarchy claims that homosexuals actually choose to be homosexual. Do you believe you made a choice to be heterosexual, or do you believe you were born that way?

Brandon:

Here is a talk that will allow you to understand more about this topic.

Brandon:

http://www.lds.org/portal/site/LDSOrg/menuitem.b12f9d18fae655bb69095bd3e44916a0/?vgnextoid=f318118dd536c010VgnVCM1000004d82620aRCRD&locale=0&sourceId=bf10226fecfdb010VgnVCM1000004d82620a____&hideNav=1

(This URL is opening in the browser window that you opened the chat window from.)

Brandon:

did you get this URL?

Michael:

There is a big difference between someone with gabling addiction and someone born gay. A gay person faces life alone, and must deny all feelings for someone they might love. How could you deal with such a future?

Brandon:

Did you read the talk I sent you?

Michael:

Yes. I have read it before. I find it to be full of misconceptions and judgment. I am gay. It is not a "lifestyle choice". I do not find solace in being gay. I find hatred, misunderstanding, loneliness, and depression. To suggest people choose to be gay is delusion. Do you know how much pain being gay causes people? This is not something anyone would ever choose.

Brandon:

I feel for you in your position, is there anyway I can help you?

Michael:

You feel for me? Your church, the church I was born in, teaches that I should not marry a woman to try to "overcome" being gay (as if that has ever been possible). It also teaches that I cannot have a relationship with a person I love outside of marriage. Your church actively uses tithing money to stop any move towards gay marriage. So you see my choices in life don't you?

Michael:

How can any Mormon help anyone who is gay? It's no wonder there are so many inactive young men and suicides.

Brandon:

All of us have inclination to sin, we are all tempted, but we must all try to resist that temptation and do what we know to be right. And Jesus Christ can help us through the Atonement.

Brandon:

Many people have overcome this, including people in the church. And if you put forth the effort Jesus Christ will help you to overcome your trials.

Michael:

Imagine if your attraction to the opposite sex was a sin that you had no control over. Imagine fasting and praying for years with no answer. Imagine hating yourself because you could not stop being attracted to the opposite sex. Imagine wanting to kill yourself, of hating your birth. Imagine being given very little option other than doing that or leaving a church that hates people born heterosexual. You then have some inkling at what I faced before I left the church. How can a true church make people feel like that? I know that I was born gay and had no choice in the matter. Since your leaders claim that I chose this, I can tell you without a shadow of a doubt that they are wrong, and therefore uninspired, and that the church is false and lead by a false profit. I say this in the name of Jesus Christ Amen

Brandon:

Have you talked to your bishop, he can help you, and will not judge you.

Michael:

You have got to be kidding! What's the point? I can't change what I am any more than I can change my race.

Michael:

This is a waste of time. You clearly have no real answers. I hope you can at least understand that the church is not a good thing for everyone. When I left I felt happier and no longer hated myself. I think Jesus would like that for me.

Brandon:

But if you put forth the effort to make a change, I can promise you that Christ will help you overcome your afflictions. Christ has helped me in my life to overcome trials and problems i have faced, you need to just put your faith in Christ.

Michael:

You assume I have not done this. You also assume this is a choice. You assume I can be healed. Why hasn't an amputee been healed? With enough faith isn't that possible? With a blessing from the Prophet could someone with no legs grow new ones?

Brandon:

Alma 34: 10-14, I never said that you did not try. I testify that Jesus Christ atonement is infinite in power, and this is his true church. I encourage you to continue to try to seek help. I realize that this is a real concern for you, I pray that you

Brandon:

will be able to overcome your afflicitions and find answers.

Michael:

Well I won't be finding them with a church that teaches hatred of gays by making the true believers think that I choose to be this way and therefore it is my fault! That's a lie that your so-called inspired leadership continue to teach.

Brandon:

I hope that you have a good day.

Michael:

If I sound angry, I am. Sorry.

Michael:

You're a robot. You really sound like you are in a cult.

Brandon:

Im sorry but there is nothing else we can do for you here.

Michael:

No kidding



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8050277)





Date: May 2nd, 2007 7:45 PM
Author: MrJackson

Wow, was this all bullshit or is your roomate actually a gay ex-member?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8050767)





Date: May 2nd, 2007 6:13 PM
Author: rangerlaw

another one from my roommate:

Ryan:

Hello, How may I help you?

Fredrick:

Why do you suppose that the lord commanded Joseph Smith to marry 11 other guy's wives?

Ryan:

What are you referring to?

Fredrick:

Well, spiritual wivery . . .

Fredrick:

There were 11 women who were married to other men

Ryan:

I've never heard that he was told to marry other men's spouses

Fredrick:

Have you ever heard of the novel In Sacred Lonliness?

Fredrick:

Farms, a division of BYU, released a paper on it

Ryan:

Where did you recieve that information?

Ryan:

Joseph Smith was told of the Lord to practice polygamy as the prophets of old, but it was never adultery.

Fredrick:

I had heard about it, and went to farms to try to find out about the explanation for that . . .

Fredrick:

Not according to the director of Farms at BYU; Daniel Peterson wrote a paper on it

Ryan:

what did it say?

Fredrick:

There was no explanation

Fredrick:

The only thing they said was there was no proof that Joseph Smith ever consumated the marriages

Fredrick:

Let's get off of that thread

Fredrick:

I am also wondering about the lord not warning Brigham Young about the Mountain Meadows Massacre in time to prevent it . . .

Fredrick:

Was that a Deuteronomy 13 type thing?

Ryan:

It seems like you have studied a lot about the church. Have you met with missionaries before?

Fredrick:

No, I haven't had much luck

Ryan:

what do you mean? meeting with, or your meetings themselves?

Fredrick:

I live in a really insane neighborhood . . .

Fredrick:

they aren't generally welcomed here

Ryan:

do you have a copy of the Book of Mormon?

Fredrick:

I could see them by the College

Fredrick:

Yes

Fredrick:

I've read it several times

Ryan:

where are you from?

Fredrick:

I move quite a bit

Fredrick:

right now, I am in a bad part of Louisville

Fredrick:

Lots of neighbors in white robes, if you know what I mean

Ryan:

Have you read the Book of Mormon?

Fredrick:

Yes

Fredrick:

More than once

Fredrick:

Cover to cover

Ryan:

Have you received a witness of its truthfullness?

Fredrick:

No,

Fredrick:

What's that supposed to be?

Ryan:

you know that the Book is true then?

Fredrick:

No,

Fredrick:

How would I know that?

Fredrick:

Didn't Joseph Smith put a time-frame on the second comming?

Ryan:

ok

Fredrick:

OK what?

Ryan:

Do you believe in prayer?

Fredrick:

Yes

Ryan:

Everything we believe hinges on whether the Book of Mormon is the word of God

Fredrick:

Yes . . .

Fredrick:

I have questions besides that . . .

Fredrick:

I am not sure that the book of Mormon can be the word of God, unless God had deliberately gone out of his way to hide evidence that it is true . . .

Fredrick:

That would seem illogical, as he left much of the evidence that the bible is true

Fredrick:

For instance, cities in the bible have been found.

Ryan:

We believe that Chirst established a church with prophets and apostles, but over time they were rejected them and the true church of Chirst was lost. It wasn't until the calling of Joseph Smith was the church restored

Ryan:

Joseph Smith translated the Book and if the Book is true, his mission was one ordained of God

Ryan:

Do you have your Bible there with you?

Fredrick:

Most likely . . .

Fredrick:

Which version?

Ryan:

doesn't matter, KLV?

Fredrick:

KLV?

Ryan:

sorry, KJV

Ryan:

King James Version will work

Ryan:

read Matthew 16:13-17

Ryan:

The fact alone that Peter saw Christ was not enough to allow him to know that he was the Savior of World. Christ taught it was through his Father in Heaven revealing it to him was Peter able to know with a surety he was divine.

Ryan:

Flesh or (fact) would not produce faith, which is what Christ requires of us.

Fredrick:

What about the Mountain Meadows Massacre?

Ryan:

Our invitation to you is to pray with a sincere heart about the Book of Mormon to God and ask if it is a true Book. That is how all of your questions can be answered and you can know with surety as I know that the Book is another witness of Christ.

Fredrick:

I didn't find a whole lot of instruction on living a happy life, in there

Fredrick:

I found that a lot of it was just a war novel.

Fredrick:

Not a very good war novel, of course . . .

Fredrick:

Why aren't you answering my questions?

Ryan:

Fredrick, I'm not sure what your intention was in coming to chat tonight, but I can tell you that your next step to understanding our faith is to pray about the Book of Mormon. Openly and sincerly.

Ryan:

Because there is no point in answering them right now

Fredrick:

Why's that?

Ryan:

I am just trying to help you understand how you can answer those questions for yourself

Fredrick:

The book of Mormon doesn't contain any answers to those questions.

Ryan:

by asking God in humility if the Book is true.

Fredrick:

If the book is true, it doesn't answer those questions

Fredrick:

How do I get answers to my questions?

Ryan:

my point is that if you know the Book is true, you know that Joseph Smith was a true prophet of God and that this is the true church

Fredrick:

There's a bit of evidence against the book being true . . .

Ryan:

many questions people have don't really have answers

Fredrick:

The book mentions chariots, while there's no evidence of chariots

Fredrick:

It mentions grains that there is no evidence existed in precolumbian America

Fredrick:

How do I get around those things?

Ryan:

Fredrick, I would love to help, but if you want to understand something spiritual like scriptures, the Book of Mormon, you have to ask God, not man

Fredrick:

I have heard that mormons think that God only talks to Mormons

Ryan:

I'm sorry I can't answer your questions, but I know that you have to get past the questions that don't always have answers and trust in God, that he will not lead you astray.

Fredrick:

everyone else is just given a warm fuzzy feeling.

Ryan:

That is not true. I am sorry you heard that.

Ryan:

study Moroni 10:3-5 and then after you put that to the test, please come back and we can talk again.

Fredrick:

peace, then

Ryan:

I know God will answer your prayer if you pray with a sincere heart and real intent.



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8050279)





Date: May 2nd, 2007 6:15 PM
Author: dannieb

Bryson: Has transferred you to:

Lucy: Hi!

Brandon: How can I help you?

Brandon: Hi

Lucy: Hi brandon...I have read some about lds and have some questions?

Brandon: Sure what are they?

Lucy: I know about the book of mormon...how joseph smith found golden tablets and translated them and what he says in it

Lucy: about Indians and settingly the new world

Lucy: so my question is this..

Lucy: what kind of work is being done with the tablets now? This is such a great discovery! Waht else are scientist discovering about them?

Brandon: Just give me one minute please.

Lucy: ok no prob

Brandon: http://scriptures.lds.org/en/bm/jstestimony

(This URL is opening in the browser window that you opened the chat window from.)

Brandon: its long but at the end with the last ********* read below that

Lucy: ok...cool.thx. just a sec

Brandon: ok

Lucy: ok I looked at that part. So who's got them now...the messenger? Where did he put them...

Lucy: also what is urim and thummmmin?

Lucy: a frind at school was telling me about all this and so I'm pretty pumped to find out about discoveries. I like the history channel

Brandon: That means we don't have them on the earth.

Lucy: ohhhh...

Lucy: so..

Lucy: I don't get it. sorry.

Lucy: u mean they went to heaven?

Brandon: Have you talked to the missionaries?

Lucy: no, just my frind

Lucy: but I'm talking to one now right?

Brandon: Yes

Brandon: What don't you get?

Lucy: oh I thought that ppl could see the gold things

Lucy: because it would be important to study you know

Lucy: but you are saying they don't exits? I mean are in heaven?

Brandon: ok do you have a Book of Mormon?

Lucy: can I get it at the library?

Lucy: maybe my freind deena has it

Lucy: oh wait...what are those other deals...urim and thum?

Lucy: also there are probly lots of books about this rite? and movies, too>

Brandon: They were translated in to the Book of Mormon and thats what we have you can read that.

Lucy: oh so urim thingy is in the book of mormon?

Brandon: You can have the missionaries bring you a coppy and tell you more about it.

Lucy: I can read it myself. I like to check things out U know? read at the library, go online, disvoery channel

Lucy: and you are missionary so you are telling me what they would, rigte?

Lucy: my typing is bad LOL!

Brandon: They are translators given by God to help Joseph Smith translate.

Lucy: the missionaries? you guys helped him translate?

Lucy: U must be smart!

Brandon: Yes I am a missionary.

Brandon: I'm just a normal person.

Lucy: U helped him translate the golden tablets U saw them and worked on them?

Lucy: wow!

Lucy: I want to do research on ancient and old stuff too

Brandon: This was in the 1820's

Lucy: oh so you are old. I thot you were a young dude...lolz

Lucy: wow it must be great doing yur work

Brandon: I like it

Lucy: hey so what kind of museums can I find stuff in?

Lucy: do you ahve to go to school for a long time? U probly need a lot of extra degrees for this work

Lucy: what college should I go to to do this stuff?

Brandon: I invite you to read and pray about the Book of Morman. I nead to get going.

Lucy: K thx bye!



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8050284)





Date: May 2nd, 2007 6:16 PM
Author: dannieb

Adam:

How can I help you?

Mark:

Yes, I had a question.

Adam:

I hope I can help.

Mark:

I've been talking to a friend who is a mormon who has asked me to read the book of mormon.

Mark:

I am a Christian.

Mark:

While I've been reading the book of Mormon, I came across where it talks about "many precious things" were taken from the bible.

Adam:

Great.

Mark:

So I was wondering if you had any information about this.

Adam:

Well, let me see if I can elaborate a little on that phrase...

Adam:

There are many religions or faiths these days who believe the bible to be the word of God, Mormons included.

Adam:

However, as we can see, many of these differing faiths teach different doctrines to an extent...

Adam:

Let's take baptism for example...

Adam:

One Christian Religion may teach that baptism needs to be done in a specific fashion while another teaches a different principle...

Adam:

these differences may include age, accountability, authority, or form of baptism.

Adam:

Many of the true doctrines that were written and taught by Jesus and his Disciples for example cannot be found soley in the bible.

Adam:

Therefore, the Book of Mormon contains many of those "plain" and "precious" truths about basic gospel principles that are essential to our salvation.

Adam:

There are many things which this phrase refers to...

Adam:

While at one point in time, the bible may have contained these true principles...

Adam:

many of these truths have been lost, or taken, or translated incorrectly throughout the ages

Adam:

does this answer your question at all?

Mark:

Yes, thanks. So do you have information on when these truths were taken from the Bible? And who did this? And what exactly was taken out?

Adam:

Well...I'll share with you what I know on the subject...

Mark:

Okay

Adam:

After the death of Jesus Christ and His Apostles, priesthood keys and authority were taken from the earth...

Adam:

this was the power basically that Christ had and His prophed had to receive revelation from God

Adam:

they were men, called of God to lead and direct the church.

Adam:

it was their writings that make up the bible...

Adam:

without revelation and priesthood authority, people relied on human wisdom to interpret the scriptures and the principles and ordinances of the gospel of Jesus Christ...

Adam:

False ideas were taught as truth...

Adam:

many plain and precious truths regarding the nature of God, the gospel, and other basic principles were lost

Adam:

this led to what is called the apostacy.

Adam:

So there was a great period of time where there was no revelation on the earth, and the "truth" was changed or distorted in some

way.

Adam:

to compensate for this, God, our Heavenly Father, revealed another book of scripture called the book of mormon to teach us the

true doctrines about that which is not found in the bible.

Mark:

Well, that's pretty general. Although I appreciate this information. But is there any specific information sources that you could

refer me to? Like when this occured (dates), who or what group took passages from the Bible and what exactly was taken from the

Bible?

Mark:

Or should I just believe by faith that this did occur without any factual information to back it up?

Adam:

Well you bring up an interesting point...and that is definately a great question.

Adam:

Much of what we are expected to accept does require faith.

Adam:

that is a basic principle that God wants us to learn.

Adam:

However, I believe that there are definately answers to your questions, however regarding dates and groups of people, I am not

informed on that information.

Mark:

Well, I can understand that principle. Especially since we can't prove God's existence. But if a portion of the Bible had been

taken from it at some point in time then it seems to me that it should be verifiable and that would be a strong indication that my

faith as a Christian is based on a fraud. But I would like facts instead of just taking someone's word.

Adam:

Well...it is definately worth researching. I don't want to give you false or uncomplete information, but I am aware of evidences

about these truths being lost or changed.

Mark:

What is the source of your evidences?

Adam:

The real question should be, "is the book of mormon true or not?"

Mark:

That is a good question and if I could verify that portions of the bible were taken out then that would definately give the Book

of Mormon more credibility, don't you think?

Adam:

Different scholars have researched the topic, but I have no information on that topic, nor can I tell you where you can find it...

Adam:

Sure it would...

Adam:

are you familiar with the promise that is given at the end of the Book of Mormon?

Mark:

I mean, I could believe that the Muslim scripture is the word of God but merely having faith in it doesn't make it so.

Adam:

Great point.

Mark:

So I would like some hard evidences that some of these Book of Mormon claims are real.

Adam:

The last prophet who wrote in the book of mormon told us how we can know...

Mark:

Joseph Smith?

Adam:

Well, I completely understand your desire to know, and I want you to know that there are things or evidences that can help us to

know that these things are true, but the only true way to know that the Book of Mormon is a true book is by...

Adam:

1. read from its pages 2.ponder it in your heart 3. pray to ask God if the things you have read are true

Adam:

then by the power of the Holy Ghost (feelings of joy, peace, love, happiness, etc.) you can know that these things are true.

Adam:

This is definately one of those 'testimonies' that requires faith.

Mark:

What if after I finish reading it and follow these steps, God tells me in my heart that it isn't true? Would it not be true then?

Adam:

If you Read with real intent to know if it is true, and you WANT to know for yourself, accepting it if it is or if it isn't, the

response you get is your answer...

Adam:

but I want you to know that I have read the Book of Mormon...

Adam:

and I have prayed...

Adam:

and I continue to do so...

Adam:

and I know for myself that the Book is true.

Mark:

So there is the possibility that God would tell me it isn't true?

Adam:

God teaches us that if we desire to know if something is right, we will feel a

Adam:

burning in our bosom

Adam:

if it is not right...we will have no such feeling

Adam:

but we must have a true desire to know.

Adam:

otherwise the feeling will not come.

Mark:

So if my desire is true and the burning doesn't come, then it isn't true?

Mark:

How long do you have to keep praying until you know the burning isn't going to come or will come?

Adam:

then there's your answer...but I testify to you that it wasn't my answer...nor the answer of hundreds of thousands who have also

read and prayed about the book...

Adam:

If you keep reading, with real intent, you will feel a peace, have an understanding...

Adam:

you have great questions...

Adam:

Tell God in your prayer that you want to know

Adam:

He will answer you, I promise.

Mark:

How many people didn't receive the burning? Do you have any numbers on how many those are?

Adam:

I can't tell you when or how, because it is God's will and timing...

Adam:

How many people have recieved a witness for themselves?

Mark:

If there were 10 million people who prayed and 5 million felt the burning and the other 5 million didn't feel it, then who is

right?

Adam:

well the LDS church is the fastest growning church on the earth.

Adam:

I testify that it is God's church and that thousands each day recieve a personal witness that the book of mormon is true.

Mark:

Well, according to an article I read recently, the Assembly of God denomination is now the fastest.

Mark:

Is there a way I can get back with you to let you know if I get the burning or not?

Adam:

Ok, here's an analogy...in the days of Noah only one family believed what God had to say and they were the only ones who were not

drowned in the flood...

Adam:

You can definately get back to me via chat.

Adam:

I would recommend you speak with your friend who is a member as well.

Mark:

How do I reach you on this chat?

Adam:

There are also representatives of the church, the missionaries, who would love to teach you more about the gospel, if you'd be

interested.

Adam:

My specific shedule here varies...

Adam:

but there should usually be someone here to answer your questions.

Adam:

you can ask for Adam, if I'm around, I'll respond.

Mark:

I still need to find research into what parts of the Bible were taken and who took them. That is a major claim!

Adam:

But I hope you do read and pray...because I know God wants you to know.

Adam:

Ok, just remember, first comes faith, then God blesses us with a firm knowledge that things are true.

Adam:

I promise it will come if you have faith, and seek true knowledge with real intent

Mark:

I've looked and can't find any evidence that manuscripts were lost or stolen or ripped apart. So I will keep looking.

Adam:

Try praying first...about the book of mormon.

Adam:

Ask God, then things will unfold according to His will and timing for you.

Mark:

I have an idea. What if I pray about if the Bible is correct? Would the burning work for that too?

Adam:

Sure...the Holy Ghost testifies of all things that are true...for example, you may know in your heart that Christ is your savior.

You've never seen Him, but you know, in your heart. You feel it's true.

Adam:

its not just the book of mormon, you're right.

Adam:

It is all things.

Mark:

Have you tried to pray and asked God if the Christians are correct?

Adam:

But we have to be listening to the Holy Ghost, because sometimes we get our answer, and we don't recognize it...

Adam:

What do you mean by the Christians?

Adam:

If chrisianity is the true religion?

Mark:

I mean those who believe the Bible is God's only true word.

Adam:

I have prayed to know Christ is my savior, and yes I know he is!

Mark:

Like evangelical christians.

Adam:

Oh, well I too believe the bible is true...

Adam:

I believe much of what they have is true...

Adam:

But I also know that the Book of Mormon is true, and that the Chruch of Latter-day Saints is the one true church on the earth

today...

Adam:

that I have prayed about.

Adam:

That I do know.

Adam:

Not to say what other's believe is not true...

Mark:

Okay, it's just that both Christians and Mormons can't both be true. Either the gospel that Christians hold to is false or the

Mormon gospel is false.

Adam:

Mormons are christians! We believe in Christ!

Adam:

But yes, you do need to find out if these things are true...

Mark:

But if Mormons are Christians then why are your beliefs so different than Christians?

Mark:

Why would I need to be a Mormon if we both are Christians? Are you saying that being a Mormon Christian is a step up from just a

regular Christian?

Adam:

What I am saying is, the truth is found in the Book of Mormon, Joseph Smith was a true prophet of God, and we have a prophet

leading the church today...

Mark:

And if you are a Christian, then why call yourself a Mormon? Why not just call yourself a Christian?

Adam:

Mormon is really just a nickname...

Adam:

catholics are catholics, baptists baptists, etc...officially we are "latter-day saints"

Adam:

but we are christian

Mark:

But your beliefs are so different than Christian beliefs. You and I can't both be Christians. That's like saying and apple and an

orange are both oranges.

Mark:

Either catholics, baptists and other churches are not Christians and Mormons are or we are true Christians and you aren't. I don't

see any other way to looking at it.

Adam:

We obviously have a different opinion about what "christian" means...

Mark:

What is your definition of a Christian?

Adam:

to me it means anyone who believes in Christ...that accepts Him as the savior of the world. That I believe with all my heart, and

I know many of other faiths who believe the same.

Mark:

That's what I believe. So we are the same then.

Adam:

Yes...we both believe in Christ.

Adam:

Now add to that.

Adam:

Know for yourself that the book of mormon is true

Adam:

That Joseph Smith was a true prophet

Mark:

Okay, here is a question for you. Why do I need to add to me being a Christian?

Adam:

Well, as I mentioned before, the true gospel of Jesus Christ has been restored. This means that the AUTHORITY of God

(priesthood)is found only in this church. The authority to baptize...to recieve the gift of the holy ghost...etc.

Adam:

all essential ordinaces to return to live with our father in heaven.

Adam:

You would love the message of the missionaries of the church

Adam:

they can answer so many of your questions in person

Mark:

Aren't you a missionary?

Adam:

I was a missionary for two years...we serve full time missions, but now I am a normal member of the church...

Adam:

there are missionaries in all parts of the world to share and teach these things

Mark:

Okay, I see. Do you get paid to chat?

Adam:

I help to train the missionaries before they leave on their missions, this chat is just a benefit of my job :).

Mark:

So getting back to your last statement, I can't just be a Christian to be with my Father in heaven? I have to be a Mormon?

Adam:

It's not about being MORMON, its about being baptized with the proper authority...following the counsel of the living

prophet...living the true teachings found in the Book of Mormon etc.

Adam:

its not that all "mormons will be saved"

Adam:

it means that those who obey God's commandments...

Mark:

But being baptized with proper authority, following counsel and all that... isn't that being a Mormon?

Adam:

those who live the principles and ordinances of the gospel will be saved

Adam:

well, yes...

Adam:

I hope I haven't left you confused...

Mark:

So only being a Mormon will you see Father in heaven but being what I am (a Christian) will not get you there. Is that what you

are saying? Because I believe that I will see my Father in heaven without being what you are, i.e. a Mormon.

Mark:

You are saying what I am is not good enough to be up there in heaven, I have to believe in Joseph Smith being a prophet, believe

in the Book of Mormon as God's Word, believe all the teachings of the Mormon Church, etc?

Adam:

Yes...believe and live it. It is God's church, and His prophet...and His teachings.

Mark:

So being a Christian, i.e. believing in Christ as the Savior of the world, is not enough to get you to your Father in heaven.

Mark:

My Mormon friend told me that I will still get to heaven. That is why I asked you this because it contradicts what you are saying.

Adam:

Exactly right...although belief in Christ is good and essential...there are specific things that you have to do (i.e. baptism in

God's church) to return to your Father in Heaven

Mark:

So should I tell my Mormon friend that he is wrong?

Adam:

Mark, you need to do those things I've told you. 1. read the Book of Mormon 2. Ponder in your heart 3. Pray to know it's true

Adam:

I've taught you true doctrines.

Mark:

Thanks, although they aren't true unless I get the burning, right?

Adam:

I strongly suggest meeting with the missionaries, there is only so much I can do to help you ONLINE to understand these things.

Adam:

You will feel by the feelings of the Holy Ghost.

Adam:

The bible describes those feelings in Galatians as peace, joy, love, longsuffering, happiness

Adam:

then you will know that these things are true

Mark:

What if I feel those feelings of the Holy Spirit right now already being a Christian?

Mark:

Because I do.

Adam:

Well Mark, as I said before, you can indeed feel the spirit now, because there are things you know and believe that are true.

BUT, there is more, and your Father in Heaven wants you to learn of it.

Adam:

The Holy Ghost testifies of all things that are true.

Adam:

Do those three things.

Adam:

Read.

Adam:

Ponder.

Adam:

Pray.

Mark:

Well, I am pondering. That's why I came here to ask you about the precious things being taken from the bible.

Mark:

But I need more than just good feelings to know that the Book of Mormon is true.

Adam:

Ok, Mark, its a test of your faith now. I can't tell you how you'll know these things are true, but I testify God will answer

your prayer if you pray with faith.

Adam:

Once you exercise your faith, you will know for sure.

Mark:

Okay, Adam, thanks for your time. God bless.

Adam:

I promise.

Adam:

Your very welcome.

Adam:

Great to meet you.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8050294)





Date: May 2nd, 2007 6:35 PM
Author: 174

Mckay:

Hello, How can I help you?

174:

I have a question about polygamy but don't mean to be insulting. The last guy booted me. I'm just curious what the Mormon faith's position on it is. Thanks for your help.

Mckay:

Unfortunately this includes one of the topics we are not instructed to chat about. However, I can tell you that polygamy is a practice that the church does not endorse in any way.

174:

Thanks. I'm curious though, if the church does not in any way endorse it, then why can't you discuss it? I'm not trying to be argumentative, so please let me know if I am out of line.

Mckay:

Please see the website mormon.org which discussed the official church view on polygamy.

Mckay:

It should be able to answer your questions.

Mckay:

http://mormon.org/question/faq/category/answer/0,9777,1601-1-114-1,00.html

(This URL is opening in the browser window that you opened the chat window from.)

174:

I'm going to be displeased if this is a tubgirl link. How does the faith view interracial couples?

Mckay:

This question is outside the scope of our purpose, We are here to help people understand the basic doctrines of the church on mormon.org and discuss how to find out if they are true.

174:

Good deal. I read the link about polygamy, thank you for that. It helped clear things up, except that I didn't know excommunication was the most serious penalty the church could impose. I read about the Mormons in Waco, Texas and thought they punished violations with violence, like when the FBI raided them and they returned gunfire. I guess the Church distanced itself from that Koresh guy, though. Man, what a character he was.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8050387)





Date: May 2nd, 2007 6:39 PM
Author: dannieb

I was laughing.....good reference to the Branch Davidians (who are actually far offshoots from the 7th Day Adventists)

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8050410)





Date: May 2nd, 2007 6:40 PM
Author: 174

Ty. I got booted again as soon as I said it. Luckily I don't think they realize that I just keep logging back in.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8050421)





Date: May 2nd, 2007 6:41 PM
Author: dannieb

the tubgirl reference was priceless

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8050427)





Date: May 2nd, 2007 6:42 PM
Author: 174

The only problem is that they're pretty well-trained to block you as soon as they get a hint of anything out of the ordinary.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8050431)





Date: May 2nd, 2007 6:44 PM
Author: dannieb

well, my IP address is now banned

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8050445)





Date: May 2nd, 2007 6:45 PM
Author: 174

Proxies, my good friend.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8050451)





Date: May 2nd, 2007 6:58 PM
Author: :;;;;.............,.,.,.,..,,,,,,,,,,,..,.,.,.,.,. (<Party of Five>)


www.torrify.com

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8050528)





Date: May 2nd, 2007 6:51 PM
Author: there\'s a wocket in my pocket

In progress, been waiting for a response for a few minutes:

Bradley:Has transferred you to:

William:Hello?

Bradley:Has transferred you to:

Steve:Hello, how may I help you?

William:Hi

William:I have a quick question

William:I recently moved out west to Cali

Steve:Hi William.

William:but back east in Philly, I used to talk to these two white folk

William:Black pants, white shirts, I think it was y'alls

William:Know what I'm saying?

Steve:I will do my best.

William:It's like this homie.

William:I'm gonna take a minute, and just sit right there

William:and tell you how my life got flipped, turned upside down

William:Because I'm pretty confused now, updawg

William:Maybe you can offer some help

Steve:Is there any way I can help you, William?

William:Well, like I said

William:I recently moved from Philly to Cali

William:I mean, I was just chilling

William:Shooting some hoops outside the school

William:and these two guys come up to me

William:(i could tell they were up to no good)

William:and i got in one little fight

William:but are you guys a non-violent religion?

William:I was jusst defending myself

William:word?

William:oh what, you dont want to talk to me, cause i'm BLACK?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8050490)





Date: May 3rd, 2007 12:39 AM
Author: WhatNow? (I remember I was hammering on a fence in the backyard when Dad a)

BUAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHHHAHHAHAAAAHAHHAH!!!

180^180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8052563)





Date: May 3rd, 2007 1:30 PM
Author: lookthengo (non-trad 0L looking to party)

fucking beautiful. this thread has made you one of my favorite posters.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8054642)





Date: May 2nd, 2007 6:52 PM
Author: done and done (facts are fascist)

Steve:

Hello, may I help you?

Dean:

Hey, I've been talking with some Mormons at work , and they keep telling me about your temple

Dean:

Can you tell me more about it?

Steve:

Well, the temple is a place of God where sacred ordinances are performed, like baptisms and weddings. This is outside the scope of our discussion, so maybe you should go to Mormon.org for more information

Dean:

Oh noes, coke all over the keyboard why did I ask a question naked

Dean:

This always happens :( – sorry, I spill a lot on the keyboard

Steve:

That’s ok, do you have any other questions?

Dean:

Yeah, I heard a lot about Bringem Young, what can you tell me about him?

Steve:

Actually, it’s Brigham Young, and I think Mormon.org would be better to answer your questions about him

Dean:

I heard Matt Leinart (do you watch football?) say that Moses was still the better prophet, do you think there’s truth to that?

BANNED



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8050493)





Date: May 2nd, 2007 7:00 PM
Author: dannieb

I am sort of disappointed in you.....I thought that you would have been more clever and deadly in your approach....since you are an insider and all

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8050542)





Date: May 2nd, 2007 7:35 PM
Author: done and done (facts are fascist)

All the good stuff had been taken. Also, they were deadly in bannings, I tried to get a few other convos off the ground and didn't work.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8050721)





Date: May 2nd, 2007 7:48 PM
Author: Dr. Science (Sucks for you, you motherfucking McBeef.)

Why were they so quickly dismissive of your seemingly innocuous questions?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8050785)





Date: May 2nd, 2007 7:58 PM
Author: done and done (facts are fascist)

I don't know, they started off hardball when I even mentioned the temple, I was going to go more depth into it but couldn't make any headway.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8050816)





Date: May 2nd, 2007 8:40 PM
Author: An Army of Liberal Lawyers

Frankly, I expected a lot more. You gotta reverse engineer this shit more. I mean, dropping mad xoxo apparent non-sequiturs? that's amateur style, g.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8051041)





Date: May 3rd, 2007 11:05 AM
Author: done and done (facts are fascist)

no joke, I did awful

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8053974)





Date: May 5th, 2007 2:34 AM
Author: loafer

if at first you don't succeed...

come on dood, you've gotta be like a level 10 thetan or whatever. show us your shit.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8064203)





Date: May 2nd, 2007 7:46 PM
Author: Whamo



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8050775)





Date: May 2nd, 2007 8:06 PM
Author: Medea
Subject: don't talk about pussy with the missionaries...

Justin:

Hello, how may I help you today?

Medea:

Hi Justin. I heard that only Mormons can go into temples. Is that true, and why is that?

Justin:

Let me share with you a page about temples.

Justin:

http://beta.mormon.org/mormonorg/v/index.jsp?vgnextoid=4765055b23710110VgnVCM1000003a94610aRCRD&locale=0&sourceId=c0fa087d253a1110VgnVCM100000176f620a____

(This URL is opening in the browser window that you opened the chat window from.)

Medea:

Also, have you seen the show Big Love, and how realistic are the lifestyles (besides the polygamy)?

Justin:

Take a look at this...

Justin:

http://beta.mormon.org/mormonorg/v/index.jsp?vgnextoid=bd124e970b2e1110VgnVCM1000003a94610aRCRD&locale=0&sourceId=4612e28828102110VgnVCM100000176f620a____

(This URL is opening in the browser window that you opened the chat window from.)

Medea:

Is the Mormon church against the use of birth control?

Justin:

That is really outside of the scope of my purpose here. I would love to help you understand the basic principles of the Church.



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8050850)





Date: May 2nd, 2007 8:41 PM
Author: Dr. Science (Sucks for you, you motherfucking McBeef.)

Joe: How may I help you?

Todd: My mother was raped and killed by a Mormon in Southern Idaho in 1987. Were you in Idaho in 1987? Did you rape and kill my mother? If not, why not? Do you think you're too good for her?

BLOCKED.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8051052)





Date: May 2nd, 2007 8:49 PM
Author: dannieb

give xoxo another day or two and we will shut down the chat feature

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8051090)





Date: May 2nd, 2007 8:44 PM
Author: Evan3000



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8051069)





Date: May 2nd, 2007 8:58 PM
Author: Man O\' War

Jason:

How may I help you?

Gen. Nathan:

Good Evening

Jason:

Hello

Gen. Nathan:

I just had a visit from two of your guys who gave me your bible.

Gen. Nathan:

Do you let black people in your church?

Jason:

Yes.

Gen. Nathan:

NIGGERS NIGGERS NIGGERS NIGGERS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8051134)





Date: May 2nd, 2007 9:20 PM
Author: Evan3000



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8051266)





Date: May 2nd, 2007 11:23 PM
Author: dannieb

I think that we need to get Rach to put up a STICKY on this thread. We can do some xoxo team building and take down this chat feature. Amen.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8052063)





Date: May 2nd, 2007 11:34 PM
Author: there\'s a wocket in my pocket

Haha, the chat is link dead.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8052139)





Date: May 2nd, 2007 11:40 PM
Author: dannieb

It is working for me

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8052181)





Date: May 2nd, 2007 11:41 PM
Author: Evan3000

it's only active through 9pm central time

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8052190)





Date: May 3rd, 2007 12:44 AM
Author: WhatNow? (I remember I was hammering on a fence in the backyard when Dad a)

180 points if someone gets them to click a tubgirl link.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8052595)





Date: May 5th, 2007 2:48 AM
Author: loafer

http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8054684

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8064297)





Date: May 3rd, 2007 11:04 AM
Author: dannieb

it is open for today

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8053971)





Date: May 3rd, 2007 11:40 AM
Author: Well Done Roundhouse Flame
Subject: Pretending to be a girl finally got the Mormon's attn

You are speaking live with Justin, who is a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Information provided in this session is to provide assistance only and is not an official statement of the Church.

Justin:

Hello, how may I help you?

Nancy:

hi i had a few questions about mormons!

Nancy:

mormons started in america right?

Justin:

Ok, what are your questions?

Justin:

Yes, through a boy named Joseph Smith

Justin:

Have you heard of Joseph Smith?

Nancy:

the inventor of the quill pen?

Nancy:

the name sounds familiar for some reason...

Justin:

Joseph Smith, as a young boy, had questions regarding which church out of all of the churches was true. He read in James 1:5 and found that if we have questions we can ask the Lord

Justin:

After much prayer, Joseph recieved an answer in the form of a vision

Nancy:

a vision? what did he see in the vision?

Nancy:

for some reason i keep thinking of pochahontas. am i thinking of the wrong joseph smith?

Justin:

God the father, and His son, Jesus Christ, appeared to Joseph and instructed him as to what he should do. They told him that all of the churches of that time, the early 1800s, had a portion of the truth but not all of it

Nancy:

so where did pocahnotas fit in?

Justin:

You might be thinking of John Smith.

Justin:

Joseph Smith was called to be a prophet and to restore the church that Christ had formed during His life

Nancy:

wait so all the churches of the time were wrong?

Justin:

Basically what had happened is that when Christ died, there was no prophet or authority on the earth to lead and guide the people

Nancy:

hold on a minute if all the churches in the 1800s were wrong does that mean that the founding fathers went to the wrong church?

Justin:

Over almost 2000 years without a prophet, the people had formed what they believed to be true but they were missing that essential part, a prophet, so they were doing the best they could but a prophet was needed to restore all of the truth

Nancy:

so the prophet was joseph smith?

Nancy:

the boy with the vision?

Justin:

The founding fathers played integral roles in the restoration of the gospel. They made it possible for religious freedom. Yes, Joseph was called to be a prophet

Nancy:

and so what did joseph do?

Nancy:

i mean after the vision?

Justin:

It is quite an amazing thing, but you do not have to take my word for it. We have evidence that we can hold in our hands and read and question and then pray about to know if this is all true

Justin:

Ok

Nancy:

what kind of evidence?

Justin:

After the vision, Joseph spent many years being prepared by the Lord and instructed in order to restore the gospel

Justin:

One of the main things he did was he translated the Book of Mormon

Nancy:

oh! is that why you guys are called mormon?

Nancy:

after the book?

Justin:

The Book of Mormon is the evidence I was speaking of. It is Joseph's "fruit" as said by the Bible

Justin:

Yes

Nancy:

translated? why did he need to translate the book?

Justin:

After the book, Joseph organized the church

Justin:

The book is an ancient record, like the Bible, only it is a record of ancient prophets that lived in the americas

Nancy:

there were ancient prophets in america too?

Justin:

Joseph was guided in finding what were then golden plates and, through the power of God, he was able to translate ancient egyptian writing into english so that we could read and know of their words

Nancy:

wait a minute im confused. isnt egypt in africa?

Nancy:

so why were the ancient prophets writing in egyptian?

Nancy:

if they lived in america?

Nancy:

why didnt they just write it in english?

Justin:

I like to think of it this way...If God loves all of His children, why would he only call prophets in Jerusalem? There were people in the americas that needed guidance, too, so prophet were called to lead them

Justin:

That is a great question

Nancy:

ok...well that makes sense. i can see why God would want to have prophets in america to save the people there. but still a little confused.

Justin:

What is confusing for you?

Nancy:

i guess why the writing was in egyptian? when egypt is all the way on the other side of the world?

Justin:

Ok, I found the verses I was looking for

Justin:

I will send them to you

Justin:

http://scriptures.lds.org/en/search?search=Mormon+9%3A32-34&do=Search

(This URL is opening in the browser window that you opened the chat window from.)

Justin:

That is a section of the Book of Mormon explaining why they wrote in egyptian.

Nancy:

thanks! im reading through it.

Nancy:

so God purposed for them to write in egyptian so that none one else would know the language...

Nancy:

...except by a prophet guided by God? so was it to prove that joseph smith was a prophet?

Justin:

There were many reasons, such as not having sufficient enough space for them to write in Hebrew, but part of it was that it was all in preparation for what was to come in the future--the translation by Joseph

Nancy:

oh yeah it says the part about the plates being large too. ive never seen hebrew before. is it that much bigger than egyptian?

Justin:

I really do not know specifically, but they were writing on golden plates, it was very difficult and time consuming to do so

Justin:

They had to be efficient

Justin:

Have you ever read the Book of Mormon before, Nancy?

Nancy:

no but it sounds like a pretty interesting story

Nancy:

is there some way i can read more about this?

Justin:

You can request one from mormon.org and we will send it to your home. It is an amazing book

Nancy:

ok maybe i will do that.

Justin:

I love talking to you about it, but I would much rather have you read it for yourself and find out for yourself if it is true

Nancy:

that sounds fair. do i have to have it sent to my home? is there some way i can drop by a mormon church and pick one up?

Nancy:

my parents are strict catholics, see.

Justin:

Oh, ok. Would you like to know where the nearest church building in your area is?

Nancy:

catholic just isnt working for me. it feels like something is missing.

Justin:

I understand, my father went through the exact same thing

Nancy:

really? and he became a mormon?

Justin:

Yes. He felt just as you just said, like there was something more that he was missing

Justin:

He was able to fill that void through the teachings of the church

Nancy:

i really do want to feel...complete, i guess.

Justin:

I know that you can do the same if you will read from the Book of Mormon and then pray to God asking if these things are true.

Justin:

That is how it all starts, then you can build from there

Nancy:

how will i know? i feel like im saying a prayer with every heartbeat, but i wonder if God really listens.

Justin:

He does, Nancy, He is always listening

Justin:

Answers to prayers can come in many different ways, but usually it is through feelings of peace and joy, or comfort

Justin:

We wont all have a vision like Joseph, but we can receive answers. For me, I remember praying and asking about these things and I just felt at peace

Justin:

I knew it was an answer from the Lord

Justin:

I have felt those same feelings over and over again throughout my life

Nancy:

so if i pray about it and God gives me peace, ill finally know?

Nancy:

that really sounds beautiful justin

Justin:

Yes, and it is an amazing feeling

Justin:

Just know that sometimes we will recieve answers the first time, other times it may take a few days or even a week but do not give up.

Nancy:

thank you so much? how much do i owe you?

Justin:

Sorry?

Justin:

This ministry is about helping you. You don't owe me a thing.

Nancy:

i assume i have to tip you, right? 30%?

Justin:

Save that money for the Lord's ministry and charity, Nancy. That would be a better use.

Nancy:

arent you the Lord's ministry? why wont you accept credit card #s?

Justin:

This is an entirely free service.

Nancy:

are you saying you want a blowjob? you sick mormon bastards cant stop thinking about catholic schoolgirl fantasies. is your virgin cock nice and hard justin? do you want me to suck your cock nice and hard like one of brigham youngs 57 wives? you want me to pump your strong loins and sinews, make you jizz all over my healthy navel.

BANNED

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8054152)





Date: May 3rd, 2007 11:55 AM
Author: there\'s a wocket in my pocket

The ending was worth the wait.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8054235)





Date: May 3rd, 2007 11:56 AM
Author: dannieb

well played good chap.

I was waiting in eager anticipation for the twist. Excellent set-up.

I posted your transcript on an ex-mormon website:

http://www.exmormon.org/boards/w-agora/index.php?site=exmobb&bn=exmobb_recovery

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8054244)





Date: May 3rd, 2007 12:04 PM
Author: there\'s a wocket in my pocket

I had a nice flame set up, but they banned me before I could really develop it.

I logged in and asked for "Jennifer". She wasn't available.

http://beta.mormon.org/images/Mormonorg/jennifer_sm.jpg

I was going to pretend that I thought it was a Mormon only dating site and try to get her number. I was going to say that I didn't mind if she was married, because I would just marry her too, like Joseph Smith did.

I got as far as asking how I could add her to my friends list or *wink* at her and asking how I could register for the site. The last thing was, of course, that I was going to mention that I hoped she didn't have a problem with WGWAG.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8054264)





Date: May 3rd, 2007 12:06 PM
Author: dannieb

180 points to anyone that gets them to open a tubgirl pic

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8054273)





Date: May 3rd, 2007 12:21 PM
Author: Well Done Roundhouse Flame
Subject: Pwning Justin AGAIN

Justin:

Hello, how may I help you?

Thomas:

Hi Justin! You're a Mormon right?

Justin:

yes, I am

Thomas:

Well some missionaries offered me a Book of Mormon recently. It's been a tough time for me...there are big changes at my office. Everything's going down. I even had to sell my boat.

Justin:

I am sorry to hear that about your work

Thomas:

It happens.

Thomas:

I was waiting in line at the unemployment dole when I decided I might as well get around to reading the Book.

Thomas:

I did. It is fascinating.

Justin:

Have you had a chance to read any of the Book of Mormon?

Thomas:

Yes, I managed to read through the whole thing. I'm going to try again. Maybe there's something wrong in how I'm reading it?

Thomas:

The missionaries said that I should pray to know if it is the truth. I have prayed. Many times. But God still hasn't answered me.

Justin:

It truly is, I love reading it

Thomas:

Is there a special sign I should be watching for?

Justin:

Many times we will not receive an answer the first, second, or even third time we pray, but you will receive an answer

Justin:

It is important to not only read the words but think about them and study them out. Ponder what it says and search for spiritual meaning

Justin:

I like to try to apply each verse to my life and seek guidance from what I am reading

Thomas:

But how will I know if there's an answer? Once, I spent the whole day on my knees, crying to God to tell me if this was the truth. The phone rang and it was someone asking me to donate money to the Mitt Romney.

Justin:

Answers usually come in the form of feelings such as peace, joy, or comfort

Thomas:

How do I apply each verse? I mean, the first thing it says is about a guy named Nephii born of goodly parents who makes a recording of everything. How do I apply that in my life?

Justin:

That is one of my favorite verses. I, too, have great parents that have raised me and helped me in so many ways. For me, it makes me appreciate all that I have. It also says "being favored by the Lord"

Justin:

I love that part

Justin:

I feel like I have been blessed so much in my life

Justin:

I remember praying, many times, asking for guidance, and one night I was kneeling and just felt a warmth come over me, like a soft comforting feeling

Justin:

I knew it was from the Lord

Thomas:

I don't mean to sound rude here, but at this point, I really don't feel blessed.

Thomas:

There's a lot that's going wrong. It's not just the business. My kids are getting into trouble at school, my dad is sick, and it feels like everything is falling apart.

Justin:

That is understandable. I have problems, too, but I know you can receive help from the Lord

Justin:

I would encourage you to read more in the Book of Mormon and keep praying.

Thomas:

If I join your church, will I have to give up beer? Beer gives me answers. It gives me peace, joy, and comfort.

Thomas:

Or at least amnesia so I don't remember how rotten my life is.

Justin:

That is a false happiness

Justin:

Simply pushing the problems away will not solve anything.

Thomas:

But how do I know God is listening? I mean, it just really feels like I'm talking to the air when I pray.

Justin:

God loves each of His children and listens to all of us. Build your faith in that by praying and really pouring out your soul to Him. Let Him know your problems and the trials you are facing

Justin:

Make your prayers personal and talk with Him like you would if He were standing in front of you. I know He is listening.

Thomas:

If God were standing in front of me, I'd punch him in the nose for all the shit he's putting me through. I just feel so much...so much anger. Not on purpose. It just comes over me at times. On miserable, rainy days like this.

Thomas:

I'm sorry. Didn't mean to blow up there.

Justin:

If you think of things in that way, you are never going to recieve an answer

Thomas:

So how should I be thinking? I mean, do I just go into denial?

Justin:

God wants us to learn, He is not just going to give us everything and make the world perfect. Just because you are going through tough times does not mean that it is all God's fault

Thomas:

When I was kid, some bullies pushed me in a creek. What was I supposed to learn from that?

Justin:

I would encourage you to read more on mormon.org and study the things out. Read about the character of God so that you can come to know Him better

Justin:

Once you have done that, pray and ask for help

Justin:

After that, come back and we can talk some more

Thomas:

All right, Justin. Can I ask one last question?

Thomas:

It's about this temple thing you Mormons have.

Justin:

sure

Justin:

That is outside the scope of our purpose here

Thomas:

Oh. OK. I just wanted to know why it was so secret.

Justin:

We are here to help people understand the basic doctrines of the church contained on mormon.org

Thomas:

Would you mind if I asked a question about Family Night then? What it is and why Mormons have it? Or is that also outside the scope?

Justin:

http://beta.mormon.org/mormonorg/v/index.jsp?vgnextoid=bd124e970b2e1110VgnVCM1000003a94610aRCRD&locale=0&sourceId=5ea49e599f8e1110VgnVCM100000176f620a____

(This URL is opening in the browser window that you opened the chat window from.)

Thomas:

I was thinking maybe I should start doing that. Would I need to be a member first before I could?

Thomas:

Wait a second...Monday night?

Justin:

No, that is simply meant to bring the family together at least one night a week

Thomas:

It sounds like a good idea. I would like to be closer to my kids.

Justin:

That is a great idea. I would encourage you to hold a family night and spend time with your kids.

Thomas:

Are you being sarcastic? You think I don't spend time with my kids?

Justin:

No. I just think it's great you

Thomas:

Oh, so now you're being sarcastic?

Thomas:

What, you think because you're Mormon you're better than me?

Justin:

I believe we are all God's children and that He loves each of us equally.

Justin:

Perhaps you should take some time to reflect on your words and your anger and start praying.

Thomas:

Maybe YOU should take some time to shove your finger up your ass, wiggle it around slowly, and pull out your fucking Book of Morons, you TTT Utah shitface. Get back to fucking hizzla instead of your hot 16 y/o daughter. HTFH

Thomas:

PWN3D!!!!!!!!!

BANNED AGAIN

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8054333)





Date: May 3rd, 2007 12:27 PM
Author: :;;;;.............,.,.,.,..,,,,,,,,,,,..,.,.,.,.,. (<Party of Five>)


TY. Now I feel sorry for Justin.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8054355)





Date: May 3rd, 2007 12:32 PM
Author: Well Done Roundhouse Flame

Yeah, me too...sort of. Luck of the draw, he came up again. I hope he's not in the fetal position right now.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8054378)





Date: May 3rd, 2007 12:34 PM
Author: dannieb

dude, I almost shat my boxers!!! You are awesome. I hope you are going into litigation!

I posted your chat transcript on a mormon website:

http://www.exmormon.org/boards/w-agora/index.php?site=exmobb&bn=exmobb_recovery

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8054386)





Date: May 3rd, 2007 12:46 PM
Author: Well Done Roundhouse Flame

I was sorry that I missed this yesterday. I am now trying to make up for lost time. Over the top again.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8054431)





Date: May 3rd, 2007 12:47 PM
Author: dannieb

seriously, send them a tubgirl pic the next time you chat

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8054443)





Date: May 3rd, 2007 1:02 PM
Author: Well Done Roundhouse Flame

Give me a decent disguised link (i.e., one they might plausibly click). I don't want to spend the whole day searching for tubgirl.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8054512)





Date: May 3rd, 2007 1:17 PM
Author: dannieb

I doubt the dude has ever heard of tubgirl.....

just ask him if this is a picture of the first vision (it is even a .org address)

http://halflife2.zoy.org/images/tubgirl.jpg

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8054583)





Date: May 3rd, 2007 1:23 PM
Author: Well Done Roundhouse Flame

DONE!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8054611)





Date: May 3rd, 2007 1:28 PM
Author: Crimson Staff Writer

reaction?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8054635)





Date: May 3rd, 2007 1:40 PM
Author: Well Done Roundhouse Flame

MISSION ACCOMPLISHED. See below. I figured out how to disguise the link. ImageShack will take it down soon, so please enjoy it while you can.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8054691)





Date: May 3rd, 2007 12:51 PM
Author: Moses Malone

No one has mentioned Mormon underwear yet?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8054468)





Date: May 3rd, 2007 1:18 PM
Author: hizzlardass

McKay: "Bob", we have been receiving a number of spam messages about white women with Asian men. If you are only here to cause trouble, please stop.

LOL this made my day!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8054592)





Date: May 3rd, 2007 1:33 PM
Author: A Simple Asian Man

my fave:

"f I join your church, will I have to give up beer? Beer gives me answers. It gives me peace, joy, and comfort"

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8054652)





Date: May 3rd, 2007 1:38 PM
Author: Well Done Roundhouse Flame
Subject: STEVE bites the dust....

Steve:

Hello Amy, how may I help you?

amy:

hi steve

amy:

i had a question about your religion.

amy:

mind if i ask?

Steve:

That is fine, I will do my best to answer.

amy:

my dad died a few years ago. he was a mormon a long time ago. then he left the church and did some bad things. in fact while he lived, he did something very bad. he stole money from some people. a lot of money. in fact, he was able to buy me a pony with it.

amy:

i feel guilty because i begged him so much for it.

amy:

because of a legal technicality, i was able to keep the pony. but Jesus says that if we really want to follow him, we have to sell all our possessions. i love the pony. it's all i have to remind me of my dad. but it also was bought with stolen money.

Steve:

How may I help you Amy?

amy:

in your religion, am i being wrong and selfish if i keep this pony.

amy:

if it makes any difference i was five when he bought it.

amy:

steve are you still there? is this a bad time?

Steve:

This question is outside the scope of our purpose. We are not here to give counsel, but we are here to help people understand the basic doctrines of the church on Mormon.org and discuss how to find out if they are true. May I help you with anything else?

amy:

well i did want to know if my dad is going to hell according to your religion. because even though he stole money, he was a great dad to me.

Steve:

I don't know Amy. Jesus Christ will be his judge. I invite you to look at our website to learn more about the Plan of Our Heavenly Father. Here is the website:

Steve:

http://beta.mormon.org/mormonorg/v/index.jsp?vgnextoid=8215055b23710110VgnVCM1000003a94610aRCRD&locale=0&sourceId=797602fc53b71110VgnVCM100000176f620a____

(This URL is opening in the browser window that you opened the chat window from.)

Steve:

Did you get it?

amy:

yes i did, steve

amy:

the black man in the video says that we can all be a family together after death. how is this possible if i dont even know if my dad went to hell? im confused even more now steve.

Steve:

I would love to send missionaries to visit with you and talk with you more about the questions you have. Will you allow me to send missionaries to your home?

amy:

well ok, but could you do me one favor?

Steve:

What is that, Amy?

amy:

would you please keep this picture of my father? its him on his mission when he was only 19.

amy:

i don't know if this is the right path for me, but maybe you can see that he really was a good person once.

Steve:

That request is outside the scope of our purpose here. We are here to clarify basic doctrines on our site.

amy:

it would really be a blessing if you could just do this for me.

amy:

here i'll give you a link and you can decide. then you can send me the link for the missionaries.

amy:

take a look.

amy:

http://img239.imageshack.us/img239/637/dadmissionku8.jpg

Steve:

Thanks. I'll get that link for you.

Steve:

This was disgusting. You are no longer welcome on this site.

IPADDRESSEXCOMMUNICATED!!!!!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8054684)





Date: May 3rd, 2007 1:42 PM
Author: Crimson Staff Writer

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

that's some excellent tubgirl pwnage

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8054705)





Date: May 3rd, 2007 1:43 PM
Author: lookthengo (non-trad 0L looking to party)

EPIC 180

one of my favorite threads ever

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8054708)





Date: May 3rd, 2007 1:44 PM
Author: dannieb

I laughed so hard that I started to see stars

"This was disgusting"

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8054712)





Date: May 3rd, 2007 1:45 PM
Author: Dr. Science (Sucks for you, you motherfucking McBeef.)

This is too good to be real.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8054715)





Date: May 3rd, 2007 1:47 PM
Author: Well Done Roundhouse Flame

Honestly, I almost didn't expect him to click. Thought he would have just sent me the missionary link anyway, called it a day, and ruined the flame.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8054726)





Date: May 3rd, 2007 1:52 PM
Author: TPR droid hater

My favorite one so far

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8054745)





Date: May 3rd, 2007 1:53 PM
Author: Sweep the Leg Johnny (i am told it subsequently became something offensive)

i can't believe tubgirling is still funny, but it is. it really is.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8054755)





Date: May 3rd, 2007 2:05 PM
Author: there\'s a wocket in my pocket

Wow. Just incredible.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8054808)





Date: May 3rd, 2007 3:58 PM
Author: S.S. Big Changes

Well done.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8055239)





Date: May 3rd, 2007 5:18 PM
Author: nappypooz

good

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8055514)





Date: May 3rd, 2007 5:22 PM
Author: fulano

That works

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8055525)





Date: May 3rd, 2007 6:40 PM
Author: :;;;;.............,.,.,.,..,,,,,,,,,,,..,.,.,.,.,. (<Party of Five>)


You are a fucking legend, sir. 180.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8055839)





Date: May 3rd, 2007 7:17 PM
Author: Evan3000

harrassing mormons shouldn't be so hilarious. but it is. well done and ty.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8055946)





Date: May 3rd, 2007 7:19 PM
Author: loafer

god damn, well done

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8055950)





Date: May 4th, 2007 12:24 AM
Author: Niggers Have a 180 on the COCKSAT

Holyshitonefuckingeighty!!!!

I'm almost embarrassed to post mine now.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8057340)





Date: May 4th, 2007 10:47 AM
Author: adalia

brilliant. utterly brilliant.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8058885)





Date: May 4th, 2007 10:07 PM
Author: Hooked on Eugenics

180^180^180^180^180^180

Still can't top this tubgirl pwnage.

I've been hard at work trying to get some Mormons, but they seem to catch me before I get much. Oh well, the chase continues...

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8062572)





Date: May 5th, 2007 1:32 AM
Author: Lucky Wang

Perfect 180.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8063850)





Date: May 5th, 2007 1:57 AM
Author: [[account deleted]] (http://www.myspace.com/wgwag)

HOLY FUCK THAT WAS HILARIOUS

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8064008)





Date: May 5th, 2007 1:06 PM
Author: @323##322

brilliant!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8065319)





Date: May 5th, 2007 4:26 PM
Author: Hamburgler

Lexie:

John, at this time, we are not taking any files, especially image ones. We recently had an unfortunate incident with that and we do not want a repeat.



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8066232)





Date: May 6th, 2007 4:00 PM
Author: An Army of Liberal Lawyers

Genius.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8071663)





Date: May 17th, 2007 11:40 AM
Author: analthendump (THIS IS OUR COUNTRY THIS IS OUR COUNTRY THIS IS OUR COUNTRY THIS)

AWESOME

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8130346)





Date: May 3rd, 2007 1:41 PM
Author: lookthengo (non-trad 0L looking to party)

Steve:

Hello Bryson, how may i help you?

Jennifer:

hi

Jennifer:

its jenn actually but thats ok

Steve:

Sorry, Hello Jennifer.

Jennifer:

i just have one quick question for you

Jennifer:

(no problem =)

Jennifer:

Does the CJCoLDS have an official position on white girls with asian guys?

Jennifer:

and as a corollary, do you agree that asians are magical?

Jennifer:

hello?

Jennifer:

steve, if youre asian its okay

Jennifer:

im a white girl

Jennifer:

here for you

BANNED

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8054695)





Date: May 3rd, 2007 1:58 PM
Author: Horny college senior
Subject: This service is bullshit

What's the point of it? These guys are so repressive and afraid to be open about their faith it's sad.

Michelle:

Hi

Justin:

Hello, how may I help you?

Michelle:

I'm sorry, what exactly do you do in this service

Michelle:

I was checking out the site

Michelle:

and I had a lot of questions about the mormon faith

Justin:

This is a chat service that is used to help people understand the basic truths of our church

Michelle:

Ok

Michelle:

What's the mormon's church stance on interracial marriage Justin?

Michelle:

I couldn't find anything about it in the site I'm sorry :(

Justin:

This question is outside of the scope of our purpose. We are here to help people understand the basic doctrines of the church on mormon.org and discuss how to find out if they are true. May I help you with anything else?

Michelle:

I'm confused

Michelle:

Justin,

Michelle:

I have a lot of questions about the mormon faith, I really do

Michelle:

but somehow it seems like

Michelle:

you guys don't really like these sorts of questions

Michelle:

for instance,

Michelle:

how does the mormon faith feel about sexuality?

Michelle:

going to church?

Michelle:

what's the purpose of your faith?

Michelle:

what's the purpose of life?

Michelle:

(according to the mormon faith)

Justin:

A lot of the answer to your questions are found on mormon.org. I would encourage you to search through the site to find answers to your questions

Justin:

I wish you the best in your search. Have a great day.

Chat Session Ended, Goodbye. (5010)

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8054778)





Date: May 3rd, 2007 2:05 PM
Author: Well Done Roundhouse Flame

Probably because Justin has already been pwn3d at least two times today. I'd imagine he would be really on the alert now. Not to mention that "interracial marriage" has probably been flagged. Temple questions also seem to be particularly touchy at the moment. I suspect that has something to do with the prestigious Templepwnage lawschooldesire pulled yesterday.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8054806)





Date: May 3rd, 2007 4:00 PM
Author: S.S. Big Changes

Link?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8055248)





Date: May 6th, 2007 4:36 PM
Author: @323##322

see above :)

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8071878)





Date: May 3rd, 2007 2:33 PM
Author: Hooked on Eugenics

Thanks a lot, you jerks. I can barely get anywhere now. I've made 7 attempts, 0 hits.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8054894)





Date: May 3rd, 2007 2:39 PM
Author: David Carr (Glass of water for Mr. Grainger)

hilarious shit

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8054913)





Date: May 3rd, 2007 3:30 PM
Author: rangerlaw

I am proud of all of you

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8055114)





Date: May 3rd, 2007 4:20 PM
Author: done and done (facts are fascist)

After like 7 tries, this is the best I got. I'm apparently a terrible flame artist.

Carma:

Hello. How may I help you?

Sarah:

hello Carma

Sarah:

I have a question about the book of mormon can you help me?

Carma:

I hope so--have you been reading it

Carma:

?

Sarah:

I have been

Sarah:

But I'm confused about the story

Sarah:

Is it about indians here in north america?

Carma:

Kind of--It is about a people that God led out of the land of Jesursalem, and what subsequently happened to those people.

Sarah:

So, dotted or feathered indians?

Carma:

It is a testament to the divinity of Jesus Christ...

Sarah:

Mostly feathered?

Sarah:

Does the Book of Mormon replace the Bible?

Carma:

Here is a page that explains a bit more about it.

Carma:

Why don't you look through this page and tell me what you think.

Carma:

http://beta.mormon.org/mormonorg/v/index.jsp?vgnextoid=b4f4055b23710110VgnVCM1000003a94610aRCRD&locale=0&sourceId=cbe36db0580a1110VgnVCM100000176f620a____

(This URL is opening in the browser window that you opened the chat window from.)

Sarah:

Ok, I looked through that page, why did the Gospel need restoring? don't we already have the catholic church and crap?

Carma:

Are you Catholic?

Sarah:

Yes, im a good catholic schoolgirl

Sarah:

born and raised catholic, so this idea of a restoration is new to me

Carma:

I understand. It is a new concept to most people. Let me send you another page that will give you a brief explaination of why a restoration was needed...

Carma:

http://beta.mormon.org/mormonorg/v/index.jsp?vgnextoid=b4f4055b23710110VgnVCM1000003a94610aRCRD&locale=0&sourceId=39226db0580a1110VgnVCM100000176f620a____

(This URL is opening in the browser window that you opened the chat window from.)

Sarah:

Thank you, I'll look it over

Sarah:

Carma, are you female? I had a couple of questions about what it's like to be a woman in the church too

Carma:

I will send you a page about that. I invite you to look these things over, and then come back with your questions.

Carma:

http://lds.org/portal/site/LDSOrg/menuitem.3933737ad2ff28132eb22a86942826a0/?vgnextoid=bbd508f54922d010VgnVCM1000004d82620aRCRD&locale=0&sourceId=8222f73c28d98010VgnVCM1000004d82620a____

(This URL is opening in the browser window that you opened the chat window from.)

Carma:

I know that you want to know about a lot of these things...

Sarah:

Yes, I do... I want to know if you feel the same way towards me that I do to you... I love women

Sarah:

I love licking them and sucking them, making them feel oh so good

Carma:

Your questions can be answered with the material that is available on mormon.org and lds.org.

Sarah:

do you want that Carma? Want me to lick your pussy and make you cum????



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8055330)





Date: May 3rd, 2007 5:15 PM
Author: dannieb

sarcaschtick, I was really surprised on how you took this. You have redeemed yourself

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8055508)





Date: May 9th, 2007 8:36 PM
Author: VoodooChile

i LOLed:

Sarah: So, dotted or feathered indians?

Carma: It is a testament to the divinity of Jesus Christ...

Sarah: Mostly feathered?



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8092813)





Date: May 3rd, 2007 4:33 PM
Author: there\'s a wocket in my pocket
Subject: They have a new tactic.

This session is to provide assistance only and is not an official statement of the Church.

Carma:

Hello. How may I help you?

Tony:

Hello!

Tony:

I recently saw a special on PBS about Mormonites

Tony:

But even before that I was thinking about reading the Book of Mormon, but it did confuse me a bit.

Carma:

I'm glad that you're reading the Book of Mormon. Which parts were you reading?

Tony:

Nephi?

Tony:

The first part, I think

Carma:

That's wonderful. It contains so many teachings and such clear doctrine about Jesus Christ. That is one of my favorite parts.

Tony:

It can get quite exciting

Tony:

But, what part of the Book talks about marriage and morality?

Tony:

I mean, I used to play baseball in TTT St. Louis, and you know how a young man can be. But now, I have a daughter and I want to do right by her.

Tony:

But she doesn't have a mother.

Tony:

And I'm looking for guidance for the whole family and for my own life as well.

Carma:

It sounds like a difficult situation.

Tony:

It is.

Carma:

You know, I think there is something that is really clear that might be what you're looking for--it is a proclamation to the world on the family...

Tony:

I do have a job, so I'm grateful for that, but it does hurt my pride to be a live-in housekeeper.

Carma:

it was written by the current prophet of our day, and by apostles, chose by the Lord to help give the world guidance on these very subjects.

Tony:

Does it tie in with the Book of Mormon?

Tony:

Is it like a cliff's notes?

Carma:

Yes, the doctrine is in the Book of Mormon, but I think it is pulled together in a succinct way here.

Carma:

http://www.lds.org/library/display/0,4945,161-1-11-1,00.html

(This URL is opening in the browser window that you opened the chat window from.)

Tony:

Because I tend to have specific questions that can be hard to answer sometimes

Tony:

Like, if my daughter and I are living with my employer in Connecticut and I'm a widower, and she's divorced, is it wrong to live together?

Carma:

I understand. We believe in being morally clean--that no matter your living circumstances that you are responsible to follow the commandments of God...

Tony:

I don't really understand. I'm not actually engaging in any sexual activity with her. I work for her and I'm more of a role model to her quirky son

Tony:

If you think about it, it's quite the humorous gender role reversal, but that's besides the point

Carma:

Yes, that can make for a funny picutre...It sounds like you are aware of your situation and desire to do what is right.

Tony:

The only sexually active adult is her, uh, promiscuous mother

Tony:

With all the adults around, though, it can be hard to discipline the children..it's hard for them to know who to listen to, I mean, who's the boss?

Carma:

I know what you mean--in that page that I sent you, it talks about the divine place that families have in the plan of God for His Children...

Tony:

Right, it was kind of short though.

Carma:

It talks about how children should be raised by their own mother and father. I know that this is sometimes not possible...

Tony:

What if my daughter is very attractive?

Tony:

Some would call her "hot." I've heard the boys call her that.

Tony:

She's growing up, you know?

Tony:

BAM! Just like that, she's 16

Carma:

It seem like they grow up before you know it.

Carma:

I have some brothers and sisters who are a lot younger than me, and while I can clearly remember babysitting them when they were toddlers, now they are 17 and 14 and practically all grown up.

Tony:

We're at the beach and some sun tanning lotion drops into her penumbra, but she cant' reach and asks me to wipe it off

Tony:

And BAM! There's cobras at the beach (metaphorically speaking) of course.

Carma:

It is so important to teach our children the truth while they are young. Doesn't the Bible say, afterall, that if we will do that that when they are older, they will not depart from it?

Tony:

I don't want to be bitten by the sinful cobra of impurity.

Tony:

And I don't want the lustful cobra to strike my daughter on her creamy thigh, injecting her with venom.

Tony:

Because once it reaches her heart, what can I do?

Carma:

Here's a scripture that addresses that a little bit--it comes from the Book of Mormon. It was spoken by a prophet to his people and here, he is talking about what we need to teach our children.

Carma:

http://scriptures.lds.org/en/search?type=references&last=Mosiah+4%3A13-16&help=&ro=checked&search=Mosiah+4%3A13-15%0D%0A&do=Search&show=

(This URL is opening in the browser window that you opened the chat window from.)

Carma:

http://scriptures.lds.org/en/search?type=references&last=Mosiah+4%3A13-16&help=&ro=checked&search=Mosiah+4%3A13-15%0D%0A&do=Search&show=

(This URL is opening in the browser window that you opened the chat window from.)

Carma:

http://scriptures.lds.org/en/search?type=references&last=Mosiah+4%3A13-16&help=&ro=checked&search=Mosiah+4%3A13-15%0D%0A&do=Search&show=

(This URL is opening in the browser window that you opened the chat window from.)

Tony:

HYPO: This isn't the case, but what if I were asian? (The lady I'm living with is white) Wikipedia says you frown on interracial relationships

Carma:

http://scriptures.lds.org/en/search?type=references&last=Mosiah+4%3A13-16&help=&ro=checked&search=Mosiah+4%3A13-15%0D%0A&do=Search&show=

(This URL is opening in the browser window that you opened the chat window from.)

Carma:

http://scriptures.lds.org/en/search?type=references&last=Mosiah+4%3A13-16&help=&ro=checked&search=Mosiah+4%3A13-15%0D%0A&do=Search&show=

(This URL is opening in the browser window that you opened the chat window from.)

Carma:

http://scriptures.lds.org/en/search?type=references&last=Mosiah+4%3A13-16&help=&ro=checked&search=Mosiah+4%3A13-15%0D%0A&do=Search&show=

(This URL is opening in the browser window that you opened the chat window from.)

Carma:

http://scriptures.lds.org/en/search?type=references&last=Mosiah+4%3A13-16&help=&ro=checked&search=Mosiah+4%3A13-15%0D%0A&do=Search&show=

(This URL is opening in the browser window that you opened the chat window from.)

Tony:

Wow, that's a lot of links!

Carma:

http://scriptures.lds.org/en/search?type=references&last=Mosiah+4%3A13-16&help=&ro=checked&search=Mosiah+4%3A13-15%0D%0A&do=Search&show=

(This URL is opening in the browser window that you opened the chat window from.)

Tony:

Did you see my question earlier?

Carma:

http://scriptures.lds.org/en/search?type=references&last=Mosiah+4%3A13-16&help=&ro=checked&search=Mosiah+4%3A13-15%0D%0A&do=Search&show=

(This URL is opening in the browser window that you opened the chat window from.)

Carma:

http://scriptures.lds.org/en/search?type=references&last=Mosiah+4%3A13-16&help=&ro=checked&search=Mosiah+4%3A13-15%0D%0A&do=Search&show=

(This URL is opening in the browser window that you opened the chat window from.)

Carma:

http://scriptures.lds.org/en/search?type=references&last=Mosiah+4%3A13-16&help=&ro=checked&search=Mosiah+4%3A13-15%0D%0A&do=Search&show=

(This URL is opening in the browser window that you opened the chat window from.)

Carma:

http://scriptures.lds.org/en/search?type=references&last=Mosiah+4%3A13-16&help=&ro=checked&search=Mosiah+4%3A13-15%0D%0A&do=Search&show=

(This URL is opening in the browser window that you opened the chat window from.)

Tony:

Hello Carma?

Tony:

You seem to be stuck in a loop

Carma:

http://scriptures.lds.org/en/search?type=references&last=Mosiah+4%3A13-16&help=&ro=checked&search=Mosiah+4%3A13-15%0D%0A&do=Search&show=

(This URL is opening in the browser window that you opened the chat window from.)

Tony:

You can release the CTRL+V buttons now

Carma:

http://scriptures.lds.org/en/search?type=references&last=Mosiah+4%3A13-16&help=&ro=checked&search=Mosiah+4%3A13-15%0D%0A&do=Search&show=

(This URL is opening in the browser window that you opened the chat window from.)

Carma:

http://scriptures.lds.org/en/search?type=references&last=Mosiah+4%3A13-16&help=&ro=checked&search=Mosiah+4%3A13-15%0D%0A&do=Search&show=

(This URL is opening in the browser window that you opened the chat window from.)

Carma:

http://scriptures.lds.org/en/search?type=references&last=Mosiah+4%3A13-16&help=&ro=checked&search=Mosiah+4%3A13-15%0D%0A&do=Search&show=

(This URL is opening in the browser window that you opened the chat window from.)

Carma:

http://scriptures.lds.org/en/search?type=references&last=Mosiah+4%3A13-16&help=&ro=checked&search=Mosiah+4%3A13-15%0D%0A&do=Search&show=

(This URL is opening in the browser window that you opened the chat window from.)

Carma:

http://scriptures.lds.org/en/search?type=references&last=Mosiah+4%3A13-16&help=&ro=checked&search=Mosiah+4%3A13-15%0D%0A&do=Search&show=

(This URL is opening in the browser window that you opened the chat window from.)

Tony:

I understand, this must be a test of my patience. I will wait until you have completed your test.

Carma:

http://scriptures.lds.org/en/search?type=references&last=Mosiah+4%3A13-16&help=&ro=checked&search=Mosiah+4%3A13-15%0D%0A&do=Search&show=

(This URL is opening in the browser window that you opened the chat window from.)

--Every time I say something now, they paste that same link 10 times.



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8055372)





Date: May 3rd, 2007 4:37 PM
Author: Crimson Staff Writer

I laughed at your Who's the Boss trolling.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8055389)





Date: May 3rd, 2007 4:48 PM
Author: MrJackson

Amazing. This may be the best so far.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8055423)





Date: May 3rd, 2007 5:20 PM
Author: dannieb

I don't vote that it is the best.....probably most original approach

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8055520)





Date: May 3rd, 2007 4:50 PM
Author: gobluelaw

This is awesome! I've already discussed my: troubles with falacies in the BOM, my problem with Catholics (she agreed they're the whore of babylon), how I don't feel anything after reading the BOM (at which point we discussed my praying techniques), and also about my loathing of WGWAG (which she said she "can understand my feelings").

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8055429)





Date: May 3rd, 2007 6:09 PM
Author: Poontonimous

"how I don't feel anything after reading the BOM (at which point we discussed my praying techniques)"

I just did that, but I can't fucking copy and paste my conversation. It's also auto-pasting some link over and over.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8055722)





Date: May 3rd, 2007 4:50 PM
Author: transferred to scranton

These guys are really on edge. I tried to frame myself such that they were cornered into a position where they could not tell me to go to church or seek a missionary. I failed.

Thank you for taking the time to chat with us and for your interest in the Church. Please know that you are welcome to worship with us any time, request a visit from Mormon missionaries, order a Book of Mormon, or continue to browse our Web site to learn more answers to life's greatest questions.

Close this window

Carma:

Has transferred you to:

Adam:

Hi how can I help you?

A.J.:

I have some questions

A.J.:

I recently read the book of Mormon

A.J.:

and I don't know how to understand to take some of the passages

Adam:

I hope I can help.

A.J.:

Recently, I have been very sick, and very contagious

A.J.:

I am getting better, but, being alone by myself allows me a lot of time to read and think

Adam:

Where did you obtain your copy of the Book of Mormon?

A.J.:

It was left for me by a missionary

A.J.:

they can not talk to me

A.J.:

because

A.J.:

I am very contagious

A.J.:

How does the mormon church feel about Jewish people?

A.J.:

The doctor that has been taking such good care of me is Jewish, and I like him very much

Adam:

You got a book of mormon from the missionaries/

A.J.:

It was left for me. Only my family and the doctors can come into the room

Adam:

Do you have a specific question about any of the basic principles discussed on this website?

A.J.:

no

A.J.:

I have not reviewed this website as closely as I would like

A.J.:

however

A.J.:

I have read the book of mormon

A.J.:

and I am looking for someone to explain some of it to me

A.J.:

because I cannot leave my hospital room

Adam:

This question is beyond the scope of our purpose, we are here to help people understand the basic doctrines of the church on Mormon.org and discuss how to find out if they are true.

Adam:

May I help you with anything else?

A.J.:

is the book of mormon not part of your basic doctrines?

Adam:

Allright well I encourage you to view the website as there is a ton of information to read about our beliefs

Adam:

Many of your questions will most likely be answered

A.J.:

can you direct me to the website that addresses the church's stance on jewish people?

Adam:

Yes if you have a specific question about the Book of Mormon, I would be happy to discuss that, but anything beyond the basic principles is beyond the purpose of this chat.

A.J.:

Ok

A.J.:

That is great

A.J.:

I do not get to talk to people very often

A.J.:

2 Nephi 10:3 says "... the Jews, among those who are the more wicked part of the world; and they shall crucify him -- for thus it behooveth our God, and there is none other nation on earth that would crucify their God."

A.J.:

does that mean Jewish people are wicked?

Adam:

I invite you to pray and ask your Father in Heaven if the things which you read are true.

A.J.:

I have prayed, but, there is a conflict

A.J.:

Dr. Goldberg is the nicest man

A.J.:

He has taken very good care of me

Adam:

read this scripture:

Adam:

http://scriptures.lds.org/en/search?search=moroni+10%3A3-5&do=Search

(This URL is opening in the browser window that you opened the chat window from.)

A.J.:

2 Nephi 25:2 For I, Nephi, have not taught them many things concerning the manner of the Jews; for their works were works of darkness, and their doings were doings of abominations.

A.J.:

does that mean Dr. Goldberg's work is an abomination?

end of chat

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8055432)





Date: May 3rd, 2007 5:24 PM
Author: dannieb

I would love to know the discussions that the online chat mormons have had regarding xoxo discussions

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8055530)





Date: May 5th, 2007 1:06 PM
Author: @323##322

"I got tubgirled!!"



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8065316)





Date: May 3rd, 2007 5:29 PM
Author: t14 gunner

what on earth is wrong with you people? they're just trying to do their service to God and you're making it needlessly difficult. is it so terrible to give to others and expect nothing in return?

Sometimes I wonder about the people on this board

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8055546)





Date: May 3rd, 2007 5:33 PM
Author: dannieb

it is a cult

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8055560)





Date: May 3rd, 2007 5:39 PM
Author: gobluelaw

I hope this is flame.

"is it so terrible to give to others and expect nothing in return?"

Ya, your right I guess the only return they get by converting someone is 10% of their earnings for the rest of their lives.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8055585)





Date: May 3rd, 2007 6:11 PM
Author: Poontonimous

Is there an IM program so complex that even God cannot operate it?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8055733)





Date: May 5th, 2007 1:39 AM
Author: Lucky Wang

I will never regret poking fun at the religious.

After all, if these idiots aren't here to entertain us then tell me - why are they here?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8063894)





Date: May 3rd, 2007 5:31 PM
Author: gobluelaw
Subject: This is too fun...

Speak With a MissionaryThank you for taking the time to chat with us and for

your interest in the Church.

Close this window

Kyle:

How are you this afternoon?

Julian:

Hi Kyle, I'm great how are you?

Kyle:

Just fine. What questions can I help you with today?

Julian:

I want to join the LDS church. I know the Church is true after reading the BOM.

The only problem is that I'm a homosexual. How can I be part of the church?

Can I be cured? Sorry, I know this is a serious question I just don't know

where to turn.

Kyle:

This page should help you with this question.Kyle:

http://beta.mormon.org/mormonorg/v/index.jsp?vgnextoid=bd124e970b2e1110VgnVCM1000003a94610aRCRD&locale=0&sourceId=6c4ce28828102110VgnVCM100000176f620a____

(This URL is opening in the browser window that you opened the chat window

from.)

Julian:

Thank you for the link. I do not act of my sexual desires. It's so so hard to

refrain though (especially because I work at a gym). I just want to get rid of

these desires so I can focus completely on my faith. Does the LDS church offer

a course on how to get rid of these homosexual desires?

Kyle:

Take a look at this article.Kyle:

http://www.lds.org/ldsnewsroom/v/index.jsp?vgnextoid=27f71f1dd189f010VgnVCM100000176f620aRCRD&vgnextchannel=726511154963d010VgnVCM1000004e94610aRCRD&vgnextfmt=tab1

(This URL is opening in the browser window that you opened the chat window

from.)

Julian:

Thanks for that link. You seem like a nice young man, are you a Missionary?

The two young men who came to my house were so nice.

Kyle:

You're welcome. Were there any other questions from the material on this

website that I could help you with?

Julian:

Well, I just think it was so nice for you to help me. It's a good thing you

aren't here in person. My temptations might be too great!

Julian:

JK haha I like you.

Kyle:

Have a great day.



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8055551)





Date: May 3rd, 2007 5:47 PM
Author: dannieb

good job....it would have been nicer if you could have developed it further

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8055615)





Date: May 3rd, 2007 5:51 PM
Author: gobluelaw

I know, I think they're catching on. I had one shut me off after saying that I think Mormons are cool because they're the true religion. After tubgirl, they're not taking any chances.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8055632)





Date: May 3rd, 2007 5:53 PM
Author: dannieb

I wonder if they passed around the tubgirl pic. 180^180 to anyone that can get them to open a goatse pic.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8055638)





Date: May 5th, 2007 12:48 PM
Author: Well Done Roundhouse Flame

Here to claim the prize.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8065269)





Date: May 3rd, 2007 5:53 PM
Author: Poontonimous

How do you copy and paste? I can't select the text from my chat.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8055641)





Date: May 3rd, 2007 6:04 PM
Author: Poontonimous

WTF?!

I can't copy and paste this shit.

And even after I hit "End" it kept auto-pasting some stupid link.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8055705)





Date: May 3rd, 2007 6:13 PM
Author: there\'s a wocket in my pocket

Yeah, it stopped working for me too for some reason. If you right click on the screen and do select all, it still works.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8055747)





Date: May 3rd, 2007 6:18 PM
Author: Poontonimous

I couldn't left or right click anything. Must be some bug. Oh, well. I closed it already.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8055778)





Date: May 3rd, 2007 10:13 PM
Author: Well Done Roundhouse Flame

Yes, they did that this morning, shortly after my first flame. Save your web browser as an HTML file, then open it up with another application (like Explorer, etc.). Click "Select All". Copy. Paste. Mormonpwn3d.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8056630)





Date: May 3rd, 2007 10:32 PM
Author: Poontonimous

I'll have to try that tomorrow after I'm done with my last final.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8056715)





Date: May 3rd, 2007 5:56 PM
Author: Evan3000



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8055664)





Date: May 3rd, 2007 6:45 PM
Author: gobluelaw

I can't cut and paste anymore. But I'm having some great fun though. I just posed as a native american and began to talk about how happy I was because I'm part jewish.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8055855)





Date: May 3rd, 2007 7:16 PM
Author: Evan3000



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8055942)





Date: May 3rd, 2007 8:09 PM
Author: gobluelaw

Justin keeps kicking me off. If anyone gets him he needs to be pwn3d hardcore.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8056104)





Date: May 3rd, 2007 9:00 PM
Author: Evan3000



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8056342)





Date: May 3rd, 2007 10:25 PM
Author: Well Done Roundhouse Flame

He was so nice this morning. Maybe it's been a long, frustrating day of flame?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8056676)





Date: May 3rd, 2007 10:29 PM
Author: Evan3000



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8056701)





Date: May 3rd, 2007 10:45 PM
Author: Well Done Roundhouse Flame

Time to declare unrestricted submarine warfare on Justin?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8056773)





Date: May 5th, 2007 3:20 PM
Author: @323##322

goatsed into oblivion

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8065921)





Date: May 3rd, 2007 7:48 PM
Author: Poontonimous

I'm using IE7 and I can't copy and paste. What browser are you using?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8056022)





Date: May 3rd, 2007 8:00 PM
Author: Evan3000



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8056076)





Date: May 6th, 2007 4:28 PM
Author: Poontonimous (http://www.hidebehind.com/2B9081)

Why'd you delete everything, you little bitch?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8071830)





Date: May 3rd, 2007 8:51 PM
Author: gobluelaw

I was just told that "WGWAG, while odd, isn't forbidden by the Church." LOLZ

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8056296)





Date: May 3rd, 2007 8:58 PM
Author: lookthengo (non-trad 0L looking to party)

edit -> select all -> copy plz

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8056336)





Date: May 3rd, 2007 9:21 PM
Author: gobluelaw

I can't copy, I don't know what's wrong. I've kept the chat up though just in case I can figure out how to copy it.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8056458)





Date: May 3rd, 2007 10:26 PM
Author: Well Done Roundhouse Flame

http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8056630

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8056684)





Date: May 3rd, 2007 9:22 PM
Author: ego_requiro_vos



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8056463)





Date: May 3rd, 2007 9:34 PM
Author: Horny college senior

That Justing guy has been there ALL fucking day. 80% of the time I enter the chat, he's there. I can't get past two sentences before he kicks me out.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8056504)





Date: May 3rd, 2007 9:55 PM
Author: gobluelaw

I know he's a bitch. I actually had a long conversation with him before I told him that I was gay and he sounded cute. I asked him if he could cure me but he kicked me off.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8056569)





Date: May 3rd, 2007 10:33 PM
Author: Poontonimous

I talked with Emily.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8056720)





Date: May 3rd, 2007 10:08 PM
Author: Old Jeezy

Justin: Hello, how may I help you tonight?

Joseph: Hello, Brother Justin

Joseph: Greetings and Salutations.

Joseph: I come to you with an urgent matter.

Justin: What can I help you with?

Joseph: I am Mr. Graham Richfield, the Chief Financial officer of Fincorp Investment Ltd. I got your contact via the Internet and I am using this medium to solicit your cooperation to allow me use your information to re-profile the total sum of US$12Million in cash. This deal is very confidential and top secret and by virtue of this, you should indicate your interest immediately after reading this correspondance.

*Ended* :(

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8056602)





Date: May 3rd, 2007 10:10 PM
Author: manutdrules

That is hilarious.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8056610)





Date: May 3rd, 2007 10:13 PM
Author: Old Jeezy

*high five*

copied straight off one of those nigerian spams.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8056626)





Date: May 4th, 2007 10:58 AM
Author: adalia

inspired.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8058931)





Date: May 4th, 2007 12:22 PM
Author: there\'s a wocket in my pocket

a hidden gem

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8059267)





Date: May 3rd, 2007 10:22 PM
Author: Whamo



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8056667)





Date: May 3rd, 2007 10:25 PM
Author: Evan3000



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8056678)





Date: May 3rd, 2007 10:27 PM
Author: Whamo



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8056692)





Date: May 3rd, 2007 10:31 PM
Author: gobluelaw

Justin is a huge douche. I enjoy tormenting the Mormons more because Justin is there.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8056713)





Date: May 4th, 2007 12:31 AM
Author: Niggers Have a 180 on the COCKSAT

Thank you for taking the time to chat with us and for your interest in the Church. Please know that you are welcome to worship with us any time, request a visit from Mormon missionaries, order a Book of Mormon, or continue to browse our Web site to learn more answers to life's greatest questions.

Close this window

Kyle:

Has transferred you to:

Bradley:

Hi, how may I help you?

Tyrone:

Yo dawg, word up.

Bradley:

How can I help you tonight?

Tyrone:

I got a question about my boy Bobby. See, the man is getting married in two months.

Tyrone:

And I wanted to throw him a SWeet bachelor party, becuz of the BIG CHANGES he be going thru. But he rolls wit y'all and he says, no strippers, no beer. I thot he was trippin, yo, but I look around this crazy ass site and it look like he being serious.

Tyrone:

I mean my daddy was a preacher boy too but I ain't NEVA seen nuttin like this, dawg. What is up with this?

***At this point, I got blocked, so I switched IPs and logged in again***

Thank you for taking the time to chat with us and for your interest in the Church. Please know that you are welcome to worship with us any time, request a visit from Mormon missionaries, order a Book of Mormon, or continue to browse our Web site to learn more answers to life's greatest questions.

Close this window

Bradley:

Hi, how may I help you?

Babyface:

Yo Bradley, why you won't talk to a brother? Is it cause I'm BLACK? That ain't right, man. I was just asking about my homie.

Babyface:

Tryin' to be sensitive to his beliefs and what, but y'all just push me off. Why the hate, man?

Bradley:

We do not tolerate any type of profanity on this website.

Babyface:

Ok, its cool then. I wont run my mouth, gonna talk to you like I talk to momma.

Babyface:

It's just this, dawg. I want to know what I should do for his bachelor party.

Bradley:

I'm glad you took some time to review our website. If you would like, you can also receive a free copy of the Book of Mormon.

Bradley:

Do you want that link?

Babyface:

Yeah, that'd be SWeet.

Babyface:

Is that like The Bible? Bobby has one of dose I think.

Bradley:

http://beta.mormon.org/mormonorg/v/index.jsp?vgnextoid=b4f4055b23710110VgnVCM1000003a94610aRCRD&locale=0&sourceId=eda16db0580a1110VgnVCM100000176f620a____

(This URL is opening in the browser window that you opened the chat window from.)

Bradley:

Our purpose here is to help people understand our basic doctrines and help them know if it is true. Anything else is outside of our purpose here.

Babyface:

Yo, thats cool then.

Babyface:

How do I know if this true, then, dawg?

Bradley:

If you keep looking on that page, you can chose a link that says "The Book of Mormon." It will explain more about it.

Bradley:

http://beta.mormon.org/mormonorg/v/index.jsp?vgnextoid=b4f4055b23710110VgnVCM1000003a94610aRCRD&locale=0&sourceId=cb046db0580a1110VgnVCM100000176f620a____

(This URL is opening in the browser window that you opened the chat window from.)

Babyface:

You gots lots of preachers out there. I even see a homeless man who been saying Jesus goin come back on mardi gras

Babyface:

Dawg, you believe this shizzle that Joseph Smith was a true prophet?

Bradley:

Absolutely. I know he was a prophet because I have asked Heavenly Father in prayer. You can do the same thing. I know the God answers sincere prayers for those who really want to know the truth.

Babyface:

Yo, dawg, I got a vision saying Joseph Smith was trippin', taking too much weed, maybe a little coke, snorting it off bitches in the club, come give me a tug,

Babyface:

Sitting in the tub with a bottle of Bacardi, partyin like its mardi, smoking dope with the fresh prince of bel-air.

And suddenly, the Mormons did not want to talk to me anymore.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8057393)





Date: May 4th, 2007 12:58 AM
Author: dannieb

what is cool is that after you accused him of racism he was more lenient.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8057514)





Date: May 4th, 2007 2:35 AM
Author: snake_I

wow. this thread made my night.

A+

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8057916)





Date: May 4th, 2007 3:32 AM
Author: gobluelaw

This is only the beginning. I am going to make the best of this chat feature until it is shut down (which it will be after the XOXO raids). I just hope Justin is there tomorrow, haha.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8058093)





Date: May 4th, 2007 6:08 AM
Author: .,..,.,.,.,,,.,..,.,.,.,.,,.,.,.,..,.,.,,..,.,. (Alchemist, Geometer, Astrologer)


http://www.chatislam.com/

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8058424)





Date: May 4th, 2007 8:41 AM
Author: MrJackson

Damn. So many rules. Still, probably deserves its own thread.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8058539)





Date: May 4th, 2007 6:08 AM
Author: .,..,.,.,.,,,.,..,.,.,.,.,,.,.,.,..,.,.,,..,.,. (Alchemist, Geometer, Astrologer)


http://www.jehovahswitnessonline.com/

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8058425)





Date: May 4th, 2007 8:42 AM
Author: MrJackson

Not a live chat......

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8058541)





Date: May 4th, 2007 6:31 AM
Author: A Simple Asian Man

http://www.askmoses.com/

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8058434)





Date: May 4th, 2007 6:32 AM
Author: .................,............,...........,.......


just wanted to say that i never laughed so much reading a thread or maybe even anything on the internet. i literally was laughing out loud and my eyes teared up at one point.

brilliant.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8058436)





Date: May 4th, 2007 9:41 AM
Author: annie_econ

This thread alone is worth the ruin of GTO's career.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8058619)





Date: May 4th, 2007 9:53 AM
Author: done and done (facts are fascist)

I had no idea you were still around

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8058650)





Date: May 4th, 2007 10:31 AM
Author: snake_I

yes, if random normal people that come here because of the WaPo article can't appreciate this, then i don't want to know what 'normal' is.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8058796)





Date: May 5th, 2007 1:50 AM
Author: Lucky Wang

The Mormons were asking for it.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8063974)





Date: May 4th, 2007 9:57 AM
Author: dannieb

okay guys, get ready. Chat is live. I repeat, chat is live. Have fun!!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8058657)





Date: May 4th, 2007 10:28 AM
Author: Moses Malone

we have yet to hear anyone discuss mormon underwear or impersonate joseph smith.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8058779)





Date: May 4th, 2007 10:55 AM
Author: Poontonimous

I think a chat involving a person who likes to borrow and wear (or is curious about borrowing and wearing) other people's "garments" would be good.

Remember: Don't go for the kill too soon. The more they're invested, the better.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8058916)





Date: May 4th, 2007 1:13 PM
Author: Moses Malone

This shit has to go into a book or something

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8059502)





Date: May 4th, 2007 2:41 PM
Author: dannieb

anyone have luck today? I haven't been able to get anywhere. They must be hyper-sensitive today.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8059986)





Date: May 4th, 2007 5:03 PM
Author: Diesel

haha. proof that everything they say about lawyers is true...

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8060887)





Date: May 4th, 2007 11:40 PM
Author: .,..,.,.,.,,,.,..,.,.,.,.,,.,.,.,..,.,.,,..,.,. (Alchemist, Geometer, Astrologer)


chill out dood

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8063118)





Date: May 5th, 2007 2:10 AM
Author: Poontonimous

That they're totally awesome?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8064070)





Date: May 5th, 2007 1:08 AM
Author: gobluelaw

I didn't get to harrass any Mormons today, I was busy all day. But luckily I've got a clean slate tomorrow. Those bitches are going down. I really hope XOXO can bring down this feature...

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8063677)





Date: May 5th, 2007 12:42 PM
Author: gobluelaw

Speak With a Missionary

Thank you for taking the time to chat with us and for

your interest in the Church. Please know that you are welcome to worship with us

any time, request a visit from Mormon missionaries, order a Book of Mormon, or

continue to browse our Web site to learn more answers to life's greatest

questions.

Close this window

Bradley:

Hi, how are you?

Phillip:

Hi Brad! I'm great how are you?

Bradley:

I am good, how can I help today?

Phillip:

I LOVE JOSEPH SMITH! I've been reading the Book of Monmon and I'm so glad he

decided to restore the church, why am I so excited?

Phillip:

Bradley, did you get that? My internets might not be working.

Bradley:

I did get it.

Bradley:

Are you investigating the church?

Phillip:

Yes, the missionairies went to my home in DC and gave me this book, its a great

story.

Bradley:

Did they ask you to pray about the Book of Mormon? Phillip:

Yes, I love the Church and am ready to join. I want my family to join to

though. Because I want to be with them forever.

Phillip:

They aren't as enthusiastic.

Bradley:

Have you gone to churc already Phillip?

Phillip:

Yes. I went to sacrament meeting and met with some of the members. They were

so so nice.

Bradley:

That is great!

Bradley:

So are you currently meeting with the missionaries?

Phillip:

Yes, but my family is so mad at me. I try and tell them that this church is

true but they won't here any of it. They said I will be going to hell.

Phillip:

I don't get why they say that though because they're atheists.

Bradley:

I think it is great that you are showing so much interest in the church. The

missionaries would be ones to discuss you joining the church and helping you

understand how to relate with your family.

Phillip:

Okay that's great I just wish I could convince them to join. Especially my nine

year old adopted son, hooey lewis, he's my favorite son. Is there any advice

you can give to help me convince him? I've thought about reading the Book of

Monmon as we're all eating dinner.

Bradley:

You are welcome to browse mormon.org, lds.org, josephsmith.net and talk with the

missionaries. I think you will find some answers there.

Bradley:

Thank you for coming in Phillip. Have a great day!

Phillip:

Okay, I think I will, unfortunately my partner only uses the internet for other

reasons. He's so gay sometimes. I think I will tell him to go f himself.

Phillip:

I love you bradley, all you missionaries are so cute, a lot cuter than my fat gay partner.



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8065252)





Date: May 5th, 2007 1:08 PM
Author: dannieb

he should have banned you at "hooey lewis" (funny as hell).

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8065329)





Date: May 5th, 2007 12:45 PM
Author: Well Done Roundhouse Flame

I am probably on some Salt Lake City hit list now for this latest stunt. However, I did this for all you xoxo. Did I feel a mild twinge of guilt? Yes. Did this particular Mormon deserve the carnage that followed? Maybe not. Her religion is nutty and absolutely obnoxious, but Lexie seemed like a nice girl. Was it great fun? You bet. Without further ado...

Lexie:

How may I help you?

John:

Good morning, Lexie. I'm doing a project on the Church for my high school class. I have an interview scheduled at a local ward on Monday, but I was wondering if I could ask some preliminary questions.

Lexie:

Go ahead.

John:

First, I wanted to know more about the transition from Joseph Smith's leadership to Brigham Young's. As I understand, Joseph Smith was murdered in Illinois?

Lexie:

Yes, he was.

Lexie:

I would love to explain this. Do you know our basic beliefs?

John:

I have some idea (checked out a few books from library), but if you have a moment, I'd be happy to review those.

Lexie:

Well, what we believe is that God has always called prophets to lead us to our Savior, Jesus Christ.

John:

I was wanting some historical perspective on the events that led up to Joseph Smith's murder as well.

John:

Prophets as in the Old and New Testaments?

Lexie:

Yes. Like Moses, Abraham, Isaac, Isaiah and others.

Lexie:

These prophets receive revelation from God.

Lexie:

But sometimes the people reject those prophets. For example, when Christ came to the earth, the people rejected him and his apostles.

Lexie:

For a long period of time, we didn't have a prophet, or the authority of God on the earth.

John:

You mean the crucifixion?

Lexie:

Yes. They rejected Him by killing Him, but they also rejected His teachings. I'm going to send you a site that explains this better.

John:

Thank you. That would be great. Would it be print some of that explanation for use as a primary source?

John:

Sorry, missed the word "permissible" there. Just wanted to know if it'd be OK.

Lexie:

It's taking a minute to load. Have you checked out beta.mormon.org?

Lexie:

are you referring to this chat?

Lexie:

as a primary source?

John:

Oh no, I meant the site you were going to direct me to.

Lexie:

Yes

Lexie:

This is the best site for you to go to to get more information about our basic doctrines.

John:

Yes, the lady on the phone recommended I take a look here first before interviewing at the ward.

John:

You've been very helpful so far. I appreciate it.

Lexie:

Youre welcome.

Lexie:

So, what I was leading to was that now, we believe that God called another prophet to lead and guide us to our Savior, Jesus Christ.

Lexie:

This prophets name was Joseph Smith.

Lexie:

These prophets are given authority to act in the name of Jesus Christ. This authority is called the Priesthood.

John:

How did God call Joseph Smith? I know there are different ways it happens in the Bible. Isaiah or Jeremiah, if I remember correctly, was touched by a burning coal. John the Baptist went into the wilderness. How did Joseph Smith receive his message?

Lexie:

Well, let me start from the beginning. Joseph Smith was confused because there were so many religions that preached from the bible and interpreted it so differently.

Lexie:

He read from the Bible a lot, and one day he was reading in James 1:5, that says: "If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God..."

Lexie:

So he decided to pray about it.

Lexie:

He went into a grove of trees near his home, and he prayed to know which of all the churches were correct.

Lexie:

A miracle happened, John. God the Father, and Jesus Christ, appeared to this young boy (he was 14).

John:

Wow, I didn't realize he was that young.

Lexie:

He said in his own words: "I saw a pillar of light, exactly over my head, above the brightness of the sun, which descended gradually until it fell upon me...

Lexie:

"When the light rested upon me, I saw two personages, which brightness and glory defy all description, standing above me in the air. One of them spake unto me, calling me by name and said, pointing to the other--

Lexie:

"This is My Beloved Son. Hear Him!"

Lexie:

(Joseph Smith History 1:16-17)

John:

Thanks for the citation!

John:

Isn't that the same thing the voice said when Christ was baptized?

Lexie:

You're welcome.

John:

Or something similar?

Lexie:

Yes, it was.

Lexie:

Isn't that incredible?

John:

It does seem like a tremendous experience.

John:

So then what happened? After he saw this vision?

Lexie:

John, I know that this happened. I know that Joseph saw God and Jesus Christ and that they told him that none of the churches at this time had the authority of God.

Lexie:

They told him that through him, they would restored Christ's church on the earth again.

Lexie:

Joseph Smith was called as a prophet of God

Lexie:

This site finally came up.

Lexie:

http://beta.mormon.org/mormonorg/v/index.jsp?vgnextoid=b4f4055b23710110VgnVCM1000003a94610aRCRD&locale=0&sourceId=31936db0580a1110VgnVCM100000176f620a____

(This URL is opening in the browser window that you opened the chat window from.)

John:

I see. I assume after that he founded the Church? At what point did he work on the Book of Mormon? Was that around the time of his vision or afterwards?

Lexie:

You can also look at josephsmith.net

Lexie:

This site also had a lot of good information, but more specifically about Joseph Smith.

John:

Thanks a lot. Let me print the page on The Restoration of the Gospel.

John:

I appreciate that.

Lexie:

Ok. Great.

Lexie:

You can also follow those links on the left hand side to find out more of The Book of Mormon

John:

So your view is that the Church restores Christianity back to its original state?

Lexie:

Yes

Lexie:

That is exactly our view

John:

I think I'll order a copy of the Book of Mormon as well. May not be able to read it all in time for my project, but it sounds like an interesting book. I've been reading up a little bit about the tribes of Israel that came to America.

Lexie:

John, that's great.

Lexie:

If you'd like, I can order one for you also.

Lexie:

I know that The Book of Mormon is true. This book is the word of God.

Lexie:

It has helped me so much in my life and has brought me closer to my Savior.

Lexie:

Because I know that this book is true, I know that the prophet who translated it was truly called of God

Lexie:

And if that prophet was called of God, that means that The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is God's true church.

Lexie:

That means that everything I shared with you is true.

John:

I also understand that members of the Church wear certain sacred clothes and practice special ordinances in the temple. I understand that these services are not publicly discussed, so I won't I ask on specifics. However, I was wondering if you could tell me a bit about the general purpose of these practices.

John:

What assures you that Joseph Smith's vision and the Book of Mormon are true? Every religion, at least to adherents, does claim to be the truth, right?

Lexie:

John, I love your questions. Let me send you a couple more pages that explain more.

John:

Thanks. My mom always says I'm too full of questions. Just let me know if I'm being a pest at any point.

Lexie:

No, you're fine. I just need a minute to answer your questions.

John:

No problem.

John:

I was planning to ask this at the in-person interview as well, but maybe I could ask you as well. What do you think are the three most important benefits of your faith?

John:

Ms. Lexie, are you still available at this time?

Lexie:

Oh, of course. Sorry, John, but you have a lot of questions!

Lexie:

I'm pulling up all sorts of information to give you the best possible response.

John:

Wow. Thank you so much. That's very kind of you.

Lexie:

The page is still loading. You wanted to know more about the benefits of my faith?

John:

Yes, but just a quick question?

Lexie:

The most important benefit has been the peace I feel. Knowing that this is the truth, what God was able to bring to his prophet, has been a complete blessing.

Lexie:

You can ask. I'm still waiting for the computer.

John:

Thanks. I've always been interested in architecture and I was particularly impressed by the Salt Lake Temple.

Lexie:

Yes, it is very beautiful. Have you ever visited it before?

John:

No, I haven't had the chance, but I managed to get some wonderful pictures of it from the Internet.

Lexie:

You should visit sometime. It is a breathtaking experience.

John:

I was wondering if you or somebody there could explain this architectural feature I found interesting. It is on the design of one of the spires.

John:

I circled it in a Paint file I made earlier. Could you take a look at it for me?

Lexie:

John, at this time, we are not taking any files, especially image ones. We recently had an unfortunate incident with that and we do not want a repeat.

Lexie:

Besides, it probably would be a better idea to talk to an architect instead of a missionary about that.

John:

An incident? I'm sorry, I didn't mean to be a pest. It's just that I was really curious about this spire. It's some sort of winged figure.

John:

Maybe it might be an angel and if that has any significance.

John:

I thought that maybe since you'd been so helpful on other things, you might also with this one.

John:

It'd be a great help.

Lexie:

I'm sorry, John, but we are not accepting links to image files. I would like to help you, but that is outside the scope of our purpose.

John:

All right. I just thought...yeah, no it's me. I'm sorry.

John:

It was stupid of me to ask in the first place.

John:

You must think I'm really stupid.

Lexie:

No I dont.

Lexie:

On the contrary you come off as a very bright young man.

Lexie:

All right but you promise I wont regret.

John:

Really? Thanks a million!

John:

No, not at all. It would be a great help!

John:

You're the best.

John:

Here's the link.

John:

http://img211.imageshack.us/my.php?image=slctempleet0.jpg

John:

It's the large red circle that I was focusing on.

Lexie:

John, I'm very disappointed in you.

Lexie:

Was that laugh really worth it?

John:

Yes, actually.

BANNED

OFFICIALLYONTHEDEATHLISTFORALLMORMONS!!!!!!!!!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8065261)





Date: May 5th, 2007 1:07 PM
Author: .,..,.,.,.,,,.,..,.,.,.,.,,.,.,.,..,.,.,,..,.,. (Alchemist, Geometer, Astrologer)


"John, at this time, we are not taking any files, especially image ones. We recently had an unfortunate incident with that and we do not want a repeat."

179

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8065323)





Date: May 5th, 2007 1:28 PM
Author: @323##322

Lexie:

Was that laugh really worth it?

John:

Yes, actually.



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8065402)





Date: May 5th, 2007 1:10 PM
Author: @323##322

Absolutely 180^(180^180)!!!!

I'm astonished.

They'll *never* accept an image link again

Though...could tubgirl appear on a text link?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8065337)





Date: May 5th, 2007 2:12 PM
Author: sarcaschtick\'s Betrayed Mother

TIME TO ROLL OUT THE ASCII ART TUBGIRL!!!

EDIT: ASCII tubgirl looks like crap. Can't make it out at all. Instead, try ASCII goatse.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8065615)





Date: May 5th, 2007 2:40 PM
Author: .... .

If this doesn't bring down the site, nothing will.

ASCIIpornpwned!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8065744)





Date: May 5th, 2007 2:46 PM
Author: sarcaschtick\'s Betrayed Mother

someone should try copy-pasting ascii goatse just to make sure it works. then our master well done roundhouse flame can incorporate it into his next round of MORMONPWNAGE chat

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8065770)





Date: May 5th, 2007 2:50 PM
Author: .... .

* g o a t s e x * g o a t s e x * g o a t s e x *

g g

o / \ \ / \ o

a| | \ | | a

t| `. | | : t

s` | | \| | s

e \ | / / \\\ --__ \\ : e

x \ \/ _--~~ ~--__| \ | x

* \ \_-~ ~-_\ | *

g \_ \ _.--------.______\| | g

o \ \______// _ ___ _ (_(__> \ | o

a \ . C ___) ______ (_(____> | / a

t /\ | C ____)/ \ (_____> |_/ t

s / /\| C_____) | (___> / \ s

e | ( _C_____)\______/ // _/ / \ e

x | \ |__ \\_________// (__/ | x

* | \ \____) `---- --' | *

g | \_ ___\ /_ _/ | g

o | / | | \ | o

a | | / \ \ | a

t | / / | | \ |t

s | / / \__/\___/ | |s

e | / | | | |e

x | | | | | |x

* g o a t s e x * g o a t s e x * g o a t s e x *

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8065781)





Date: May 5th, 2007 2:51 PM
Author: .... .

worthless :(

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8065786)





Date: May 5th, 2007 2:53 PM
Author: .... .

this is funny, tho

http://asciigoatse.ytmnd.com/

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8065794)





Date: May 5th, 2007 2:53 PM
Author: sarcaschtick\'s Betrayed Mother

wait, is that how it shows up in the mormon chat window?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8065796)





Date: May 5th, 2007 1:10 PM
Author: dannieb

Bravo good chap!!! I suspect she is an older missionary, not one of the 19 year old fucks.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8065338)





Date: May 5th, 2007 1:23 PM
Author: :;;;;.............,.,.,.,..,,,,,,,,,,,..,.,.,.,.,. (<Party of Five>)


You have a gift for this. One might even say you're god-touched.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8065379)





Date: May 5th, 2007 4:29 PM
Author: Hamburgler

Obviously the next step is to direct them to pages with pictures instead of the pictures themselves. Any moron can put a picture on a simple HTML page. You could even post the picture in some obscure forum's post and link to that.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8066249)





Date: May 6th, 2007 4:11 PM
Author: bellybath-ing

'it's some sort of a spire. winged figure' hahahahha

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8071738)





Date: May 6th, 2007 6:12 PM
Author: loafer

amazing, amazing, amazing

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8072556)





Date: May 17th, 2007 11:45 AM
Author: analthendump (THIS IS OUR COUNTRY THIS IS OUR COUNTRY THIS IS OUR COUNTRY THIS)

lolololo

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8130361)





Date: May 5th, 2007 2:44 PM
Author: theblackening

I replaced my name with "me"

me: I was curious as the the church's views on millenialism and the rapture. Do Mormons take a different perspective from mainstream christianity?

bradly:

has transferred you to:

Mark: I'm not sure I have any information for you on that. Our purpose here is to focus on the basic beliefs of the church.

Mark: I do know that if we live righteously and follow God's commandments, we will be very happy when that day comes.

Me: I was curious to learn more about eschatology

Me: Do you believe revelation is canonical or apocryphal?

Mark: I'm not sure I understand your question.

Me: The book of Revelation. Some protestants consider it, some don't.

Me: I wasn't sure if the faith's end of days was based on something from the book of mormon or revelation.

Mark: Oh, I see

Mark: We believe the Bible to be the word of God as far as it is translated correctly.

Mark: We also believe in the book of mormon. Have you heard about it?

Me: Is this a computer program? You really don't know what eschatology is?

Mark: Yes, this is a real person, and no, i'm sorry I don't know what eschatology is.

Me: You're not one of those AI programs?

Mark: Nope

me: Eschatology is the study of a religion's idea of the end of the world. ie: for Christians the rapture, for the Norse it was Ragnarok. Eschatos - greek for last.

Mark: I see. I'm sorry I didn't know that.

Mark: members of our church most commonly use the KJV of the bible

Mark: version of the bible is not as important as relationship with god.

mark: if we are in tune with him we can know his will for us.

me: so mormons aren't biblical literalists

mark: we know that christ often taught in symbolism to help teach his true followers. howevere we also know that many things in the bible are literal.

mark: you are asking some great in depth questions ---- but our purpose here is to focus on the basic beliefs of the church. is there anything else i can help you with.

me: can you recommend a mormon apologist? i still think you're a computer program. these answers seem to be based on keyword

me: really i'm not trying to be offensive and i appreciate your time, if you're not a computer.

mark: oh, you aren't offending me at all.

mark: (and no, i'm not a program).

mark: like i said we try to stay focused on the basics

mark: have you met with church missionaries

me: i'm a devoted christian, i'm not seeking conversion

but i appreciate your time.

mark: oh, okay.

mark: well, i'm sorry we could not discuss as deeply as you would like

me: thanks anyway! blessings in christ.

mark: i'd encourage you to search mormon.org and josephsmith.net for more information,

mark: and you too, god bless.



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8065760)





Date: May 5th, 2007 3:27 PM
Author: @323##322



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8065946)





Date: May 5th, 2007 3:51 PM
Author: womanontop

ok, for some reason probably having something to do with my upbringing this was my favorite one...

why does lmao at this thread make me feel so bad yet so good?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8066028)





Date: May 6th, 2007 12:42 PM
Author: theblackening

someone had to like it.....

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8070770)





Date: May 6th, 2007 2:55 PM
Author: womanontop

lollerskates on the AI, and the eschatology...

i just read it again and it made me chuckle out loud, which garnered strange looks... i go to school w/ quite a fair number of mormons so if i'm going to study here it might be more prudent if i avoid checking this thread...

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8071337)





Date: May 6th, 2007 3:09 PM
Author: theblackening

I was trying to get him to say "immanentize the eschaton" or some other fundamentalist catchphrase, but to no avail.

Utah?

I'd have killed myself if having sex with women before marriage was frowned upon when I was in school.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8071384)





Date: May 5th, 2007 3:17 PM
Author: Well Done Roundhouse Flame
Subject: Here we go again...

It is Taylor's turn for some Well Done Roundhouse Flame. And the bell!

You are speaking live with Taylor, who is a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Information provided in this session is to provide assistance only and is not an official statement of the Church.

Taylor:

Hello... How may I help you?

Ethan:

Hey Taylor. My name is Ethan and it's nice to meet you.

Ethan:

Before I start, I should introduce myself and tell you some things. I just returned from a tour in Iraq.

Taylor:

oh wow.

Ethan:

I've been sitting around this house a lot, just thinking lately. There's a lot of stuff that went on there and I'm trying to work through it.

Ethan:

I came across this brochure a friend of mine gave me about the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

Taylor:

I can imagine

Taylor:

wonderful

Ethan:

I was wondering if maybe you could help me with some questions. I didn't really use to be that big on faith, but now...I guess now I feel like I need God.

Ethan:

And I'm starting to search for answers.

Taylor:

Thats great Ethan. I know that God lives and knows you personally. In our church we know that each of us is a child of a loving Heavenly Father. He cares about us and wants us to be happy.

Taylor:

Have you had a chance to search through our website?

Ethan:

Yeah, yeah, I did. It seems to make a lot of sense, most of what I see here, but some of it has left me with questions.

Taylor:

What questions do you have about the website?

Ethan:

I guess the biggest question to me is--well, let me put it like this. I saw people die in Iraq. I mean, I don't talk to my family about this, but I see guys die in Iraq. Just bang, gone. I put on a brave face, because you know, that's war, but it's really tough. Sometimes I have nightmares about my buddies, keep thinking we're getting shot at or that an ied is going to go off at any time.

Ethan:

And I wanted to know this: is there any hope for them? I mean, a lot of the people I saw were kids when they died. Some of my buddies and a lot of innocent Iraqis too.

Ethan:

I mean, I thank God I have the chance to be a better person and change my life around now that I'm home and safe. But a lot of people never got that chance. What happens to them?

Ethan:

And so it was a real comfort to read about Life after Death on your website and I was wondering if maybe you could tell me a little more about that.

Taylor:

What did you find comforting when you read from our website, and what questions do you have?

Ethan:

I guess that there was still a way in spirit for those who accept Jesus to be saved. But I was wondering what that spirit world is like, and whether someone like me can do anything for all those people I lost.

Taylor:

Have you ever read the Book Of Mormon before?

Ethan:

Yes, I'm starting to read it. I've prayed about it and I've felt, for the first time in a long while, some kind of peace. Completely different from anything I ever felt before. That's why I wanted to know more.

Ethan:

There's a lot of questions I still have and a lot of guilt I still feel, but this seems like a path back--almost like I'm going back home in a way. It seems familiar and strange at the same time.

Taylor:

Ethan I have also read the Book Of Mormon several times and I know that the Book of Mormon is true and that when I have read it I have also had a peace and comfort. What are some your questions?

Ethan:

Mainly, I guess I want to know that there's some hope for my buddies in the spirit world. And I wanted to know how I can be a better father and son. I don't really know how at this point. I'm not trying to push them all away, but sometimes, it's just...I did everything I could to survive over there and now I feel like I can't even face my family.

Ethan:

I guess I want to know how to be a good person. How to be someone worthy of God.

Taylor:

Ethan these are good questions, I am in no way trying to counsel you. But I know that our Heavenly Father loves each and everyone of us and that He knows all of us by name. He knows what we are all going through.

Taylor:

What role has prayer made in your life?

Ethan:

At first I think I just started praying because I didn't know what else to do. It just seemed like a good idea. During my first firefight, I promised myself that I would never pray, because I thought that meant I'm scared. But later, I just started praying because I had no one else. A buddy of mine who was later killed told me that he could tell God stuff that he never would have told the rest of the mess hall. We were all close, but there are just some things you can never admit.

Ethan:

Ever since I got back, it's really hit me how lucky I am to have survived all that.

Taylor:

There is probably a reason that you are here. I know Heavenly Father wants you to learn about this church.

Ethan:

So I started praying more, this time to thank God. And that's when I started learning more about the Book of Mormon.

Ethan:

And a lot of it made sense to me.

Ethan:

You know, at the head level, I know this is true. But it's the heart level--trying to commit to this life and to this church--that's what is so hard.

Taylor:

I know that prayer is a one on one talk with our Father in Heaven. I know that He is always there and willing to listen and help us through all the problems that life throws at us.

Ethan:

But even talking with you now, I just realized this.

Ethan:

That really is a blessing then.

Ethan:

But will He give me the strength to be a good person?

Taylor:

You are absolutely right

Taylor:

Yes He will give you the strength to be a great person

Taylor:

and a great father and a great son

Taylor:

It is not easy and nobody is perfect but it is possible, but Christ is always there for you.

Ethan:

Has God made that kind of difference in your life? This is the first time that I've actively asked anyone about God, but already it feels like a step in the right direction.

Taylor:

Yes God has made a huge difference in my life. It is such a great blessing to me to be able to turn to our Heavenly Father at all times, thick and thin.

Taylor:

Have you met with any church missionaries?

Ethan:

Not yet. I haven't really talked to anyone about religion. I mean, people have talked to me, but I always made it like I wasn't interested. Maybe as a shield, to protect myself.

Ethan:

Is there any way I can meet with some missionaries in person to talk more about this?

Taylor:

absolutely. Let me send you a link where you can enter your address. The missionaries would love to speak to you.

Taylor:

this link is a request to receive a book of mormon. I realize that you already have one, so you can tell the missionaries you already have a copy when they come by.

Taylor:

http://beta.mormon.org/mormonorg/v/index.jsp?vgnextoid=b4f4055b23710110VgnVCM1000003a94610aRCRD&locale=0&sourceId=eda16db0580a1110VgnVCM100000176f620a____

(This URL is opening in the browser window that you opened the chat window from.)

Ethan:

Thanks. Would you mind if I included you in my prayer this evening? I feel as if talking to you has lifted a huge weight off my chest. I've been feeling so much grief over the death of one of my best friends. Thanks to you, I can see there is hope.

Ethan:

Praise God for that. Thank you for the missionary link.

Taylor:

Ethan absolutely, you will also be in my prayers tonight. Thank you and best of luck.

Ethan:

If I could make a special request during that time?

Taylor:

Go ahead.

Ethan:

My friend that I talked about, Pfc. Brian Ritlee (from Texas), was the one who brought me to prayer.

Ethan:

He died during an HUC at Al-Asqar.

Ethan:

It broke me up.

Taylor:

I can imagine. But God has blessed you through him.

Ethan:

Yes. Well, shortly before he died, he told me about how God has a plan and purpose for all of us.

Taylor:

so true.

Ethan:

That we can always trust in the Lord's Path. He called it The Will Power. That God has both a will and the power.

Taylor:

Isn't that wonderful, Ethan?

Ethan:

It is. Would you mind if I shared a website of inspirational Christian music he compiled? Maybe you could include it with your prayer service.

Ethan:

The home page has one of my favorite songs. And it was the song that started playing when I opened the Book of Mormon.

Ethan:

So I saw that as maybe God's way of reaching me.

Taylor:

That is amazing. It is truly a miracle.

Ethan:

Here's the website. Hope you enjoy it; it says everything I feel about the Book of Mormon.

Ethan:

http://thewillpower.org

Taylor:

Please stop abusing this service.

Taylor:

You are not funny.

Ethan:

Oh, but I am.

BANNED AGAIN!!!!!!!

LORDHAVEMERCYITSRAININGMORMONPWNAGE!!!!!!!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8065906)





Date: May 5th, 2007 3:31 PM
Author: @323##322

brilliant

http://www.answers.com/topic/shock-site

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8065964)





Date: May 5th, 2007 3:51 PM
Author: Old Jeezy

Incredible execution.

*****/5

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8066032)





Date: May 5th, 2007 3:56 PM
Author: womanontop

truly masterful

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8066064)





Date: May 5th, 2007 4:27 PM
Author: teabaggervance

breathtakingly awesome

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8066238)





Date: May 5th, 2007 4:07 PM
Author: sarcaschtick\'s Betrayed Mother

You are SO FUCKING GOOD

180^180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8066120)





Date: May 5th, 2007 5:56 PM
Author: [[account deleted]] (http://www.myspace.com/wgwag)

175

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8066688)





Date: May 5th, 2007 7:42 PM
Author: Evan3000

wow, ty

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8067293)





Date: May 5th, 2007 4:01 PM
Author: sarcaschtick\'s Betrayed Mother

i tried pasting the ascii goatse into the window and got this:

http://img244.imageshack.us/my.php?image=goatmf0.jpg

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8066090)





Date: May 5th, 2007 4:17 PM
Author: ^%*$*

too bad :-(

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8066190)





Date: May 5th, 2007 4:36 PM
Author: Hamburgler

How many legit chats do you think they get?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8066269)





Date: May 5th, 2007 4:46 PM
Author: dannieb

I was told by a stake president that they have already chalked up a few converts.....time for xoxo to get to work

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8066303)





Date: May 5th, 2007 5:34 PM
Author: gobluelaw



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8066549)





Date: May 5th, 2007 5:43 PM
Author: MrJaneHoya

i linked brandon to this thread. think they'll get pissed now? hahahha

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8066608)





Date: May 5th, 2007 5:44 PM
Author: .,..,.,.,.,,,.,..,.,.,.,.,,.,.,.,..,.,.,,..,.,. (Alchemist, Geometer, Astrologer)


you're not getting your own planet when you die

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8066615)





Date: May 5th, 2007 5:46 PM
Author: MrJaneHoya

more likely than any of you houligans. i did what was right and what the father told me to. i believe! i felt it!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8066629)





Date: May 5th, 2007 5:51 PM
Author: .,..,.,.,.,,,.,..,.,.,.,.,,.,.,.,..,.,.,,..,.,. (Alchemist, Geometer, Astrologer)


ohhh, in that case...

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8066661)





Date: May 5th, 2007 5:53 PM
Author: there\'s a wocket in my pocket

The irony is that they have been instructed not to click links due to the tubgirl/goatse and he probably did not click it.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8066668)





Date: May 5th, 2007 5:53 PM
Author: MrJaneHoya

haha

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8066672)





Date: May 5th, 2007 5:56 PM
Author: .,..,.,.,.,,,.,..,.,.,.,.,,.,.,.,..,.,.,,..,.,. (Alchemist, Geometer, Astrologer)


Taylor:

Please stop abusing this service.

Taylor:

You are not funny.



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8066690)





Date: May 6th, 2007 6:43 PM
Author: %^&$^*$%^

Oh, but he *is*! :D

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8072783)





Date: May 5th, 2007 6:00 PM
Author: rangerlaw

xoxo makes me proud *tears up*

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8066714)





Date: May 5th, 2007 6:04 PM
Author: Old Jeezy

Justin: Hellow, how may I help you today?

C.C.: EVERYBODY DANCE NOW!!!

Justin: Is there something I can help you with?

C.C.: Um, I was really just hoping everybody would dance now...sorry :(

Justin: If not, have a good day!

*banned*

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8066740)





Date: May 5th, 2007 7:33 PM
Author: gobluelaw
Subject: Stupid Justin...

Speak With a MissionaryThank you for taking the time to chat with us and for

your interest in the Church. Please know that you are welcome to worship with us

any time, request a visit from Mormon missionaries, order a Book of Mormon, or

continue to browse our Web site to learn more answers to life's greatest

questions.

Close this window

Justin:

Hello, how mya I help you today?

Isabel:

Hi, I'm writing from Brazil. I have just heard about your church.

Justin:

Great! What can I help you with?

Isabel:

Some of my friends have been visited by Missionaries.

Isabel:

It seems like interesting relgion.

Justin:

Great.

Justin:

Would you like to meet with missionaries as well?

Isabel:

Well, I'm not totally sure yet I'm still looking around. Is it true that Jospia

Smith wrote a book that you read?

Justin:

He translated a book called the Book of Mormon. It is another testament of

Jesus Christ and is evidence that he was called to be a prophet of God.

Isabel:

Oh so its like another Bible?

Justin:

Like the Bible it is a record of prophets called and authorized by God to teach

His gospel.

Justin:

http://beta.mormon.org/mormonorg/v/index.jsp?vgnextoid=b4f4055b23710110VgnVCM1000003a94610aRCRD&locale=0&sourceId=cbe36db0580a1110VgnVCM100000176f620a____

(This URL is opening in the browser window that you opened the chat window

from.)

Isabel:

Oh thank you for that site, I will study it. My friends the missionaries were

very nice, are they all that nice?

Isabel:

Sorry I meant my friends said the missionaries were nice. I'm still learning

english.

Justin:

That is fine. They really are nice, and are they to teach and answer your

questions. They also woul be able to bring you a free copy of the Book of

Mormon if you wish.

Isabel:

Oh so then I could read it, it seems like a very good book.

Justin:

Yes, it is! It is a powerful witness of Jesus Christ.

Isabel:

Oh good, this sounds like a good thing. My friends said it was the missionaries

were so nice and cute, they helped out a lot.

Justin:

I would talk with your friend and see when the missionaries are going to visit

her again. Have her tell them that you are interested in learning about the

gospel as well.

Isabel:

Oh okay, that sounds like a great idea. Are you a missionary too?

Justin:

No, I am not.

Isabel:

Oh well I can't wait to talk to the missionaries. My friends said they will

help out with anything you need. They truly are doing God's work.

Justin:

They are indeed!

Justin:

Is there anything else I can help you with?

Isabel:

My friend needed a good fucking! The missionaries gladly agreed. They banged

her so hard. I can't wait till I get fucked by my very own missionaries. Do

you think they'll tag team me?

Isabel:

Sorry did I say that right?

Justin:

Your language is inappropriate. If you continue to use that language I will

need to end this chat session.

Isabel:

Oh sorry I didn't realize it was inappropiate.

Isabel:

Please forgive me.

Justin:

That is fine. I understand that learning a language you do not always know what

is appropriate.

Justin:

Well, if there is nothing else I can do for you, I wish you the very

best!

Isabel:

Okay thank you Justin. I hope I get to fuck your friends soon.

Isabel:

That will feel so good.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8067248)





Date: May 5th, 2007 7:36 PM
Author: dannieb

I can't believe he talked to you after this:

My friend needed a good fucking! The missionaries gladly agreed. They banged

her so hard. I can't wait till I get fucked by my very own missionaries. Do

you think they'll tag team me?



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8067256)





Date: May 6th, 2007 1:58 PM
Author: %^&$^*$%^

Aha...so if you pose as an ESOL chatter, this

lowers the Mormons' guard?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8071064)





Date: May 6th, 2007 2:57 PM
Author: Well Done Roundhouse Flame

Excellent discovery. This may be the next plan of attack.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8071343)





Date: May 5th, 2007 7:36 PM
Author: sarcaschtick\'s Betrayed Mother

when did justin become so naive? i thought he was being a bitch after being punked several times, but now this? i'm disappointed in you justin

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8067259)





Date: May 5th, 2007 7:38 PM
Author: dannieb

Justin just doesn't have the burning bosom

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8067269)





Date: May 5th, 2007 7:39 PM
Author: gobluelaw

I think Justin was told to stop banning people so fast. I made it a point to act sincere to people and complain about how mean Justin was to me. Maybe I'll get him excommunicated, haha.



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8067274)





Date: May 5th, 2007 7:41 PM
Author: dannieb

tomorrow is fast & testimony.....I would love to be in Justin's ward

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8067288)





Date: May 5th, 2007 11:30 PM
Author: .,..,.,.,.,,,.,..,.,.,.,.,,.,.,.,..,.,.,,..,.,. (Alchemist, Geometer, Astrologer)


rofl

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8068813)





Date: May 5th, 2007 7:44 PM
Author: SoooonyCourtwand2009

as funny as these conversations are, don't go a step further by trying to fire this guy and pull a Paulie Walnuts.

Please.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8067308)





Date: May 5th, 2007 7:45 PM
Author: dannieb

How did Paulie get anyone fired?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8067311)





Date: May 5th, 2007 11:34 PM
Author: :;;;;.............,.,.,.,..,,,,,,,,,,,..,.,.,.,.,. (<Party of Five>)


The whole sequence of events that ended up with GTO's offer being rescinded started with Paulie Walnuts's T14 beauty contest.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8068832)





Date: May 6th, 2007 12:24 AM
Author: gobluelaw

Anyone got any good ideas for the chat tomorrow (the sabbath)?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8069071)





Date: May 6th, 2007 12:36 PM
Author: Well Done Roundhouse Flame
Subject: Angry mom chews out Mormon

Trying something new.

You are speaking live with Brandon, who is a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Information provided in this session is to provide assistance only and is not an official statement of the Church.

Brandon:

Hello, how may I help you?

Dana:

Hello Brandon. I'm having a problem with a Mormon family and I am seeking some context so I know how to handle this appropriately.

Brandon:

Okay. How may I help?

Dana:

My youngest son, David, is being bullied by two very vicious unprestigious Mormon children. Normally, I wouldn't care about their religion, except that they keep teasing him about being "not worthy".

Brandon:

Children will be children. It's important not to jump to conclusions.

Dana:

I'm not trying to accuse anyone. But it got to the point where they made him wear a paper bag, saying that was his "temple garment." Another time, they made him wear their mother's soiled temple underwear. This behavior I obviously found disturbing.

Brandon:

I'm sorry, but you will need to speak to the parents about this. I can't help you.

Dana:

You asked how you can help, I'm giving you an opportunity to help, what's the problem?

Dana:

When I spoke to the parents, their only response was that I should consider converting to your religion. I do not appreciate this type of coercion. So I wanted to clarify: 1--is this sort of behavior in any way condoned by your church, to your knowledge and 2--if not, who could I talk to in your church organization that would best get through to the parents.

Brandon:

There is nothing that I can do to help. You will need to resolve this issue with the persons involved.

Dana:

If this were a Catholic family, I would know to go to the parish priest. Here, I really don't know what to do.

Brandon:

I can assure you that the behavior you described is not accepted by our church, but I cannot help you. You will need to resolve the problem with the persons involved.

Dana:

I have tried that. They have fallen back on your church's doctrines, so I really would prefer that someone in your church set them straight.

Dana:

If you cannot help me, could you at least direct me to someone who could?

Brandon:

There is nothing I can do.

Dana:

I'm starting to see why you Mormons are so despised.

Brandon:

Dana, that's uncalled for. There's nothing we can do.

Dana:

Well, all right, thank you for your time. You have been very unhelpful and obstructionist, but I suppose that's that. You need to cover for your people, no matter what they do. Please know I have no interest in your doctrines if you can't even be a decent person.

Brandon:

Have a nice day.

Dana:

No thanks to you.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8070754)





Date: May 6th, 2007 1:16 PM
Author: sarcaschtick\'s Betrayed Mother

not as good as some of your earlier work

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8070911)





Date: May 6th, 2007 1:26 PM
Author: Well Done Roundhouse Flame

Yeah, I just was trying something different here. It didn't really have the potential to draw out, so I aborted.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8070945)





Date: May 6th, 2007 1:49 PM
Author: %^&$^*$%^

Still...it was worth a try.

It's like Edison's finding the right filament for his light bulb.

Trial and error.

Probe and destroy.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8071034)





Date: May 6th, 2007 1:53 PM
Author: :;;;;.............,.,.,.,..,,,,,,,,,,,..,.,.,.,.,. (<Party of Five>)


It's successful in that it makes the Mormon highly uncomfortable.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8071047)





Date: May 6th, 2007 8:17 PM
Author: dannieb

you sure know how to pull them in

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8073425)





Date: May 6th, 2007 1:04 PM
Author: Well Done Roundhouse Flame

You are speaking live with Craig, who is a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Information provided in this session is to provide assistance only and is not an official statement of the Church.

Craig:

Hello. How may I help you today?

Brooke:

Good morning Craig! I'm a physician in Cedar Rapids and I recently started reading Word of Wisdom on the advice of a friend.

Brooke:

I was thoroughly impressed. It's amazing that Joseph Smith anticipated so much of what medical science has now confirmed.

Craig:

Great. What do you think of it so far?

Craig:

Has your friend shared much with you about the beliefs of the church?

Brooke:

The health advice is absolutely sound. If my patients followed his counsel on diet, they would never see me!

Brooke:

No, I haven't had an opportunity to speak with her since last Thursday. But I was interested in learning more about the church. It seems to me that this has to be inspired.

Craig:

This testifies to me even more that Joseph Smith really was called of God to reveal God's will for us.

Brooke:

Right, I did some research on nineteenth century medical practices at Cambridge (in England, in case you didn't know), and a lot of Words of Wisdom is thoroughly at odds with it. But science has shown that Joseph Smith, not the doctors, were really correct!

Craig:

I'm glad that you got on today. The best way to learn more about the church is to meet with a couple of our local representatives who are devoted full time right now to sharing this message with people.

Brooke:

I've read a little bit about his background. The fact that he was just a poor little farm boy is nothing short of amazing. I would not have expected this, especially when the expert opinions of the time were absolutely going the other way.

Craig:

I'm glad you have studied this out so far. Will you meet with representatives where they can share about this with you?

Brooke:

I would certainly love to Craig. In fact, I'm thinking to talk to a friend of mine on Capitol Hill (that's in Washington) about looking more into Word of Wisdom vis a vis FDA health standards. People seem to take it for granted that caffeine is part of a normal diet, without realizing the many health risks that follow.

Brooke:

My husband was just suggesting to me the other day that I contact some representatives of your church.

Brooke:

He's a little more neutral than I am on it at this point. That's just his temperament; he's calm about everything. When you play the stocks, you can't afford to be too nervous. He needs to be in New York on Wednesday, but he's willing to see some of your people today.

Craig:

I can send you a page that will let you request a visit from them. Give me one second to send it to you.

Brooke:

My daughter is in college right now. Do you think there's some way I could have them meet with her as well? Is there a directory of church campus groups so I can let her know?

Craig:

http://beta.mormon.org/mormonorg/offerfulfillment

(This URL is opening in the browser window that you opened the chat window from.)

Craig:

Did that page pop up?

Brooke:

I'm sorry, but there seems to be some kind of error.

Brooke:

Let me try refreshing it.

Brooke:

No, still an Error 405...don't really know what that means.

Craig:

Let me know if it works.

Craig:

Let me try it one more time.

Brooke:

Thanks so much.

Craig:

http://beta.mormon.org/mormonorg/v/index.jsp?vgnextoid=57b29c3a68a50110VgnVCM1000003a94610aRCRD&locale=0

(This URL is opening in the browser window that you opened the chat window from.)

Craig:

Did it work this time?

Brooke:

Hurray! It's a miracle! Yes, it did! Praise God!

Craig:

This will make it so that the missionaries can contact you. Is your daughter going to school nearby?

Brooke:

No, she's in New Jersey at this point.

Brooke:

Princeton, actually.

Craig:

That's nice! You can invite your daughter to come on this site like you have done and she can learn more.

Brooke:

Oh, all right. Yes, maybe that it is a good idea. The younger generation is really into computers and everything. She did some signals analysis for the NSA (it's a very competitive internship; not many people get it) last summer. I'm sure she'll have no problem finding this site.

Brooke:

Do you know anyone at Princeton? Personal references are always the best.

Craig:

With her permission, we can help her find missionaries in her area and also find some members that are attending college there as well.

Craig:

I don't know anyone there personally, but I'm sure we have a church not to far from there.

Brooke:

No, I suppose you wouldn't know. Oh well, I suppose that will have do.

Craig:

Would you like me to send you a page so that you can find the address of the chapel we have nearest you?

Brooke:

Oh, that would be wonderful. You are so sweet and helpful, Craig. I would love that.

Brooke:

Should I give you my address? As I'm sure, you can tell, we live in a very distinguished part of town.

Craig:

No, that's all right. You can submit that information on-line.

Craig:

Give me one second to find the page.

Craig:

http://www.mormon.org/worshipwithus

(This URL is opening in the browser window that you opened the chat window from.)

Craig:

Did that pop up for you?

Brooke:

I'm sorry, I was checking on the maid.

Brooke:

Something popped up.

Brooke:

Yes, yes, it was exactly the page you said it would be!

Brooke:

Oh, and there's a very helpful link about what to expect from the service. Do you mind if I just skim over it quickly and ask a few questions (while I still have you)?

Brooke:

I will have to put this into my Blackberry: Church next Sunday. That would be fabulous.

Craig:

Are you all set?

Brooke:

Yes, I was wondering if your church provided translators.

Brooke:

My husband is Korean and he speaks very little English. You don't have to worry about me. I'm just a regular cheerful blonde big-bosomed Iowa girl still.

Craig:

You would have to contact the local church.

Craig:

On the first page I sent you, you can specify language information.

Brooke:

That's wonderful. You people are very thoughtful.

Brooke:

Spirituality would be a great addition. My husband the other day was just noting that the Mercedes isn't enough, the trust fund isn't enough, the gold necklaces aren't enough. We really need need a church. And then this miracle happens!

Craig:

Isn't it amazing? I truly believe Heavenly Father has a plan for all of us.

Brooke:

Can we also request that your representatives appear in costume?

Craig:

I'm not sure I understand.

Brooke:

I would prefer a firefighter outfit. Hyun-woo is partial to whipped cream himself. And we both need more protein in our diet.

Brooke:

We're willing to settle for Mormon cock at this point, just as long as we can get free underwear from your church.

BANNED

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8070867)





Date: May 6th, 2007 1:13 PM
Author: :;;;;.............,.,.,.,..,,,,,,,,,,,..,.,.,.,.,. (<Party of Five>)


Nice. I love how you casually inserted WGWAG. tyy tytytytytyty

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8070893)





Date: May 6th, 2007 1:20 PM
Author: sarcaschtick\'s Betrayed Mother

did you get the cho references too?

EDIT: and the references to this site's obsession with prestige. good work!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8070924)





Date: May 6th, 2007 1:52 PM
Author: :;;;;.............,.,.,.,..,,,,,,,,,,,..,.,.,.,.,. (<Party of Five>)


It was sweet.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8071042)





Date: May 6th, 2007 1:55 PM
Author: %^&$^*$%^

Brooke:

My husband is Korean and he speaks very little English. You don't have to worry about me. I'm just a regular cheerful blonde big-bosomed Iowa girl still.

WGWAG & CGWBT in one sentence.

NICE!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8071051)





Date: May 6th, 2007 3:05 PM
Author: Niggers Have a 180 on the COCKSAT

180. I love the little condescending asides you worked in here (telling him where Cambridge and Capitol Hill are, talking about your Princeton daughter being "in New Jersey", etc.).

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8071370)





Date: May 6th, 2007 9:46 PM
Author: fulano

me too. a fresh voice on this page!

also just this:

Hurray! It's a miracle! Yes, it did! Praise God!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8073921)





Date: May 6th, 2007 8:23 PM
Author: dannieb

dude, when you are asked for writing samples, you should submit these transcripts. I don't know if you will get the job or not, but you will definitely do better than GTO.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8073454)





Date: May 6th, 2007 2:05 PM
Author: Theduuude

HOW DO I COPY/PASTE THIS SHIT?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8071103)





Date: May 6th, 2007 2:12 PM
Author: :;;;;.............,.,.,.,..,,,,,,,,,,,..,.,.,.,.,. (<Party of Five>)


Right click, choose select all, then copy.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8071141)





Date: May 6th, 2007 2:15 PM
Author: sarcaschtick\'s Betrayed Mother

he's obviously failed at life, don't try to help him along

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8071156)





Date: May 6th, 2007 3:04 PM
Author: Theduuude

no you fucking asshole, right click doesn't do anything.

maybe its b/c i have vista + whatever the newest version of IE is?



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8071368)





Date: May 6th, 2007 4:08 PM
Author: rennug



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8071711)





Date: May 6th, 2007 2:58 PM
Author: Well Done Roundhouse Flame

You are speaking live with Brandon, who is a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Information provided in this session is to provide assistance only and is not an official statement of the Church.

Brandon:

Hello, how may I help you?

Pemberly:

Good evening to you, Brandon. I'm writing to you from London.

Brandon:

Wonderful. How may I help you?

Pemberly:

Brandon, I have a lot in life. I've made a success out of myself. I have a great job, a beautiful wife and soon-to-be son, more money than I could possibly ever spend, prestige and acclaim from every quarter. I should be happy. But I'm not.

Brandon:

I am sorry to hear that you are not happy.

Pemberly:

My parents were Christians on holidays and Jews on Wednesdays. Chapel was something I went to on Sundays in prep school, but God had no meaning. Yet for the first time in my life, I got on my knees and I prayed. I waited for a very long time and then for no reason I came here.

Pemberly:

I don't know why or what drew me, but something told me to come here. So I did.

Brandon:

I understand. What are looking for?

Brandon:

you*

Pemberly:

Peace. All my life, I've been searching for prestige. I have it now. Ten Schools prep, HYP undergraduate, YHS law school, law review editor-in-chief, COA clerkship, SCOTUS clerkship, V5 position, billed 120 hrs/week, made partner, heading the London office, new watch. I even tip waiters. But I don't have peace.

Pemberly:

I feel...I don't know where I've heard this before, but I feel like I've gained the whole world and lost my soul.

Brandon:

Well, I can assure that peace comes through the Gospel of Jesus Christ.

Pemberly:

Does it? Do you have peace, Brandon?

Brandon:

Yes.

Pemberly:

Even without prestige?

Brandon:

Yes.

Pemberly:

That is amazing. I always thought people without prestige could not type. Except maybe at Wayne State.

Brandon:

That is not true. Why would you think?

Pemberly:

Let's ask a more important question. Why do you have peace? What is it about Christ's Gospel that can give you that peace?

Brandon:

I found it through studying the Holy Bible and The Book of Mormon. Also, by attending church services.

Brandon:

I invite you to do the same.

Pemberly:

Handwritten invitation?

Brandon:

Sorry?

Pemberly:

Quill only please, tyia.

Pemberly:

You were saying?

Brandon:

The peace comes from knowing that what you are doing is right. It gives purpose to life.

Pemberly:

That makes sense. My life so far has been scheduled around the rat race. It's hard to know right from wrong. And even when I know, wrong is so much fun.

Brandon:

Would you like to receive a free copy of the Holy Bible and The Book of Mormon?

Pemberly:

Which one has Christ's Gospel, the one that gave you peace?

Brandon:

Both do.

Pemberly:

180

Brandon:

I have peace in knowing that God has a plan for us. Let me send you a web page that outlines God's plan.

Brandon:

http://beta.mormon.org/mormonorg/v/index.jsp?vgnextoid=8215055b23710110VgnVCM1000003a94610aRCRD&locale=0&sourceId=383e02fc53b71110VgnVCM100000176f620a____

(This URL is opening in the browser window that you opened the chat window from.)

Pemberly:

Does your church use tiers?

Brandon:

What do you mean by tiers?

Pemberly:

In prep school, we went to chapel according to our class rank. It determined the order we received sacraments. It turned me off religion, because my weighted GPA was higher than the fellow immediately in front of me, but they used the unweighted system.

Pemberly:

I don't know if all churches use a similar system.

Brandon:

We do not have a system like the one you described. Let me send you a page that outlines what our shurch services are like.

Brandon:

http://beta.mormon.org/mormonorg/v/index.jsp?vgnextoid=8f0c6f2e496e1110VgnVCM1000003a94610aRCRD&locale=0

(This URL is opening in the browser window that you opened the chat window from.)

Brandon:

church*

Pemberly:

I see something about the Priesthood for the men. Is this a competitive position?

Brandon:

No, the Priesthood is given to all worthy males in the Church. The Priesthood is the authority of God given to man to act in His name.

Pemberly:

Worthy males...I like the sound of that. I want to be a worthy man.

Brandon:

With preparartion you can be.

Pemberly:

Preparation is what my life has always been about. 174/3.98, chances at worthiness?

Brandon:

I don't understand.

Pemberly:

I keep forgetting you're not prestigious.

Brandon:

This preparation includes exercising faith in Jesus Christ, repenting of your sins, being baptized, and receiving the Gift of the Holy Ghost.

Brandon:

I have found that one of the best ways to exercise faith is to study Christ's Gospel. Are you familiar with the Book of Mormon?

Pemberly:

When you say "exercising faith in Jesus Christ", what do you mean? For some reason, this reminds of the Rhodes Scholarship. Some kid at Caltech took that from me.

Pemberly:

No, I'm not familiar with the Book of Mormon at all. Like I said, I just came here under a vague impression. I don't really have much preparation, so I can't give as polished a presentation as I usually do. But rest assured, I am wearing a pink shirt and white shoes.

Brandon:

Let me send you a page that outlines what I mean by exercising faith in Jesus Christ.

Brandon:

http://beta.mormon.org/mormonorg/v/index.jsp?vgnextoid=5e25055b23710110VgnVCM1000003a94610aRCRD&locale=0&sourceId=21946db0580a1110VgnVCM100000176f620a____

(This URL is opening in the browser window that you opened the chat window from.)

Pemberly:

The page hasn't loaded for some reason.

Brandon:

Okay. Let me send you the URL. http://beta.mormon.org/mormonorg/v/index.jsp?vgnextoid=5e25055b23710110VgnVCM1000003a94610aRCRD&locale=0&sourceId=21946db0580a1110VgnVCM100000176f620a____

Pemberly:

Thank you. It works now. When you say "striving" to keep the commandments, is that in the pejorative sense of the term?

Brandon:

Sorry, I do not understand what you are asking. Pejorative?

Pemberly:

Well, take Tom, one of the new associates. He has always been called a striver. People said that because he came from a poor family that didn't land at Plymouth Rock.

Pemberly:

Did yours?

Brandon:

No.

Pemberly:

My condolences.

Brandon:

I would define striving as a steady consistent effort.

Pemberly:

That has a prestigious tone to it. Almost rings of old money.

Brandon:

Pemberly, I have given you a brief introduction into what we belief. If you are really interested in learning more I would encourage you to meet with local representatives of our church.

Pemberly:

By Church, I assume you mean pensive?

Pemberly:

The reclusive misfit who invented Ambition, the world's most boring game?

Brandon:

Pemberly, I don't know what you are talking about.

Brandon:

You claim to be here sincerely, but I have the feeling you are just subtly trying to insult me.

Pemberly:

You'll have to understand if I don't catch on as fast as most people. I never really was the high IQ type.

Brandon:

It's all right if you are sincere.

Pemberly:

I am. I'm sorry if I offended you. That wasn't my intention.

Pemberly:

Your church has local representatives?

Brandon:

Yes. They can teach more about our beliefs and give you a copy of the Book of Mormon.

Pemberly:

But how will they know who I am? I haven't even told you where my offices are.

Brandon:

Yes. We have representatives of our church spread throughout the world so they can teach people about our church.

Brandon:

Would you like to meet with the local representatives?

Pemberly:

Is there any chance they can say that they are clients? My coworkers gossip a lot and I can't afford that at this point (big changes going on here, have to keep the boat steady).

Pemberly:

I would love to meet with your "local representatives", but discretion would be preferred.

Brandon:

If you prefer, I can give you a telephone number for the local office in your area and they can make arrangements for the representatives to meet you in on your terms.

Pemberly:

If that won't work, could they come to my home? Or is that considered improper?

Brandon:

Yes. They can come to your home.

Pemberly:

That's very accomodating. My wife is modeling in Cancun at the moment and she's really the only one who knows how to use the phone (it's one of those old prestigious rotaries owned by Henry VIII) and I can't use the office at this point, but I could keep the number if you'd be so kind.

Brandon:

Here is the number for the office in London: 44 207-584-7553.

Pemberly:

Very good, Brandon. Do your "local representatives" eat their steaks well-done?

Brandon:

Please contact the representatives. They can help you find the peace you are looking for. In the meantime, feel free to browse mormon.org to learn more about our basic beliefs.

Pemberly:

Thank you, Brandon. I think I understand why I was drawn here.

Brandon:

Have a great day! Good luck!

Pemberly:

It's evening here, but all right! Not all of us learned time zones in the third grade!

Brandon:

Take care Pemberly. Will you be sure to contact our representatives?

Pemberly:

DING, FAG!

BANNED

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8071347)





Date: May 6th, 2007 3:06 PM
Author: .,..,.,.,.,,,.,..,.,.,.,.,,.,.,.,..,.,.,,..,.,. (Alchemist, Geometer, Astrologer)


i started laughing out loud when you responded to one of his comments with "180".

well done overall.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8071371)





Date: May 6th, 2007 3:08 PM
Author: Well Done Roundhouse Flame

ty



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8071377)





Date: May 6th, 2007 3:06 PM
Author: NYLS 2L

182.5.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8071374)





Date: May 6th, 2007 3:12 PM
Author: Theduuude

this is a masterpiece. a true pleasure to read.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8071395)





Date: May 6th, 2007 3:18 PM
Author: %^&$^*$%^

180180180!

I was laughing thruout....

Pemberly:

DING, FAG!

Truly inspired!!!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8071418)





Date: May 6th, 2007 4:15 PM
Author: sarcaschtick\'s Betrayed Mother

seriously your flame is 'well done' i applaud you good sir!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8071763)





Date: May 6th, 2007 8:30 PM
Author: dannieb

are you sure that you aren't GTO?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8073488)





Date: July 27th, 2007 1:24 AM
Author: analthendump (in ur correge, kirrin ur kidzzzz)

Such great flame

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8440209)





Date: May 6th, 2007 3:54 PM
Author: Niggers Have a 180 on the COCKSAT

You are speaking live with Mark, who is a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Information provided in this session is to provide assistance only and is not an official statement of the Church.

Mark:

Hello, how may I help you?

Gerald:

Hi Mark.

Gerald:

There's a Mormon car blocking my driveway. If I gave you the license plate, do you think you could call up your church to tow it?

Mark:

I cannot help you with that. You will need to ask the owner to move the car.

Gerald:

But you're a Mormon and he's a Mormon. I don't see what the problem is.

Gerald:

Can't you be more helpful than that?

Mark:

I can not help you. Have a nice day.

At this point, I got blocked.

You are speaking live with Mark, who is a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Information provided in this session is to provide assistance only and is not an official statement of the Church.

Mark:

Hello, how may I help you?

Gerald:

Why were you so rude earlier?

Mark:

You will need to resolve the matter with the persons involved. I cannot help you.

Gerald:

Couldn't you at least send out a Mormonmobile?

Mark:

There is no such thing as Mormonmobile. Whatever information you may have received about it is inaccurate.

Gerald:

Stop being so rude. I read it in the Book of Mormon.

Mark:

No, you did not.

Gerald:

Yes, it is how the Jews got to America and started buying up all the banks until Jesus stopped them.

Gerald:

Now will you stop horsing around and send the Mormonmobile?

Mark:

Have a great day.

I got blocked again.

Thank you for taking the time to chat with us and for your interest in the Church. Please know that you are welcome to worship with us any time, request a visit from Mormon missionaries, order a Book of Mormon, or continue to browse our Web site to learn more answers to life's greatest questions.

Close this window

Mark:

Hello, how may I help you?

Gerald:

Me again.

Mark:

I'm sorry. We cannot help you.

Gerald:

You just said you could help me. What gives?

Gerald:

Are you staring at nude pictures instead of helping people? I can't understand why you are so indifferent to my problem!

Mark:

I can't help you with your problem. I've said that already.

Gerald:

I notice you didn't deny staring at nude pictures. Was tubgirl the first naked woman you ever saw?

Mark:

Have a nice day.

Blocked for the third time.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8071621)





Date: May 6th, 2007 4:07 PM
Author: gobluelaw

That's hilarious. I especially enjoyed the mormonmobile part. I like to log back on with the same name after they kick you out, most of the time they'll keep talking to you.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8071709)





Date: May 6th, 2007 4:10 PM
Author: %^&$^*$%^

Now *this* is excellent!

Hitting the same one again & again...

I wonder if they'll ever snap?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8071730)





Date: May 6th, 2007 4:11 PM
Author: there\'s a wocket in my pocket

I love the brute force method. I would really pay just about any amount of money to be a fly on the wall of Mormon chat HQ.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8071740)





Date: November 11th, 2007 6:12 PM
Author: An Army of Liberal Lawyers

We should pose as a documentary crew from Mormonland Tv or some shit and go there to film while an attack is launched from here.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8882793)





Date: May 6th, 2007 4:17 PM
Author: sarcaschtick\'s Betrayed Mother

Gerald:

Couldn't you at least send out a Mormonmobile?

Mark:

There is no such thing as Mormonmobile. Whatever information you may have received about it is inaccurate.

EDIT: READINGCOMPPWNED! I still like the 2nd line: 'Whatever information you may have received about it is inaccurate.'

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8071777)





Date: May 6th, 2007 4:18 PM
Author: NYLS 2L

lol! I WILL NOT BE IGNORED, MORMON!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8071783)





Date: May 6th, 2007 4:35 PM
Author: ......,.........,........... (I <3 FBI Agents)


lol.

Priceless.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8071871)





Date: May 6th, 2007 5:29 PM
Author: Well Done Roundhouse Flame
Subject: 180

Wow. Very well done. I laughed throughout the whole thing. Impressive job.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8072242)





Date: May 6th, 2007 8:34 PM
Author: dannieb

this is where I started to lose it....

Stop being so rude. I read it in the Book of Mormon.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8073515)





Date: May 17th, 2007 11:47 AM
Author: analthendump (THIS IS OUR COUNTRY THIS IS OUR COUNTRY THIS IS OUR COUNTRY THIS)

tyty

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8130367)





Date: May 6th, 2007 5:22 PM
Author: Well Done Roundhouse Flame
Subject: More flame. Feedback appreciated.

You are speaking live with William, who is a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Information provided in this session is to provide assistance only and is not an official statement of the Church.

William:

How may I help you?

Iryuk:

Hi! Are these messages going through?

William:

Yes

Iryuk:

I'm checking because I am at the Juneau Relief Station in Alaska. Power is low, so I have to check.

Iryuk:

May I tell you something miraculous?

William:

Sure

Iryuk:

Four years ago, two missionaries from your church came to my family's igloo. We are traditional Inuit, following the caribou and keeping the old ways as best we can.

Iryuk:

They left us with The Book of Mormon, which I have been studying very carefully all these years. This is the first time I've had access to the internet in years and I wanted to contact someone from the church.

William:

I've been to Alaska! where were you when the missionaries came to your family?

Iryuk:

I was out with my father and the sled dogs. The missionaries visited our igloo, and when we returned, we shared a meal with them. They were very friendly.

Iryuk:

You've been to Alaska? That's wonderful! Where have you visited?

William:

What city were you living in?

William:

I've been to Juneau, Fairbanks, and Anchorage. That's why I was curious where you were living?

Iryuk:

As I was saying, we lived in the old ways, migratory and far from many towns. I would say the nearest town would have been Nome at the time.

William:

OK. What have you studied in the Book of MOrmon?

Iryuk:

I hope you enjoyed the beauty of Alaska while you were here.

William:

I did. it is a wonderful place.

Iryuk:

I have been reading about the Lamanites and the Nephites in particular. My grandfather told that there were old tales in our culture that were similar.

Iryuk:

And so I studied the Book with great interest.

William:

Do you believe in Jesus Christ?

Iryuk:

Initially, I did not. But as I have studied and prayed over The Book Of Mormon, I have come to the conviction that Jesus Christ is my Savior.

William:

I'm glad you did!

Iryuk:

I have come to Juneau with the intention of joining the Restored Church. And I am excited to find this website has lots of wonderfu information that answered many of my questions.

Iryuk:

I did have one important question, however.

At this point, I closed the window, waited a few moments, then logged back in.

You are speaking live with William, who is a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Information provided in this session is to provide assistance only and is not an official statement of the Church.

William:

Welcome back!

Iryuk:

Thanks. We lost a little power back there.

William:

No problem.

Iryuk:

Anyway, I did have one important question.

Iryuk:

I feel that God has blessed my life so much by bringing me The Book of Mormon. And I want to share that gift with others.

William:

I'm glad to hear that!

Iryuk:

Is there any way I could obtain more copies of the Book of Mormon? I know some very isolated communities that have not yet had the chance to read God's word through his prophet, Joseph Smith. My sled dogs are hardy, and perhaps I can give them that opportunity!

William:

YOu can order a copy from Mormon.org.

Iryuk:

Praise God! I also wanted to know what I could do to become like the missionaries I met. Are there special classes I would need?

William:

Iryuk, if you want to join the church, you will need to meet with missionaries.

William:

There are some in Juneau

Iryuk:

Yes, yes, I am fully prepared to do this. But there are no temples in the Far North, where the Great Bear roams. Should I bring up my special concerns for ministry with the church here?

William:

Great! just click on "Ask a question" and there is a form you can fill out to meet with the missionaries.

Iryuk:

I have met with missionaries. I am interested in becoming one.

Iryuk:

Our young people need us.

William:

You will need to meet with the missionaries so you can join the church.

Iryuk:

TITCR

William:

We do not allow profanity in these chats, Iryuk.

Iryuk:

That wasn't profanity. I have to use acronyms because my fingers are so cold.

Iryuk:

That stands for "That is true Christian religion."

Willam:

I see. I'm sorry.

Iryuk:

I really want to go into children's ministries. I have read so much about Bringem Young and admire his spirt.

William:

Brigham Young.

Iryuk:

Jesus said that we must have the faith of a child. In traditional Inuit culture, we call a child "Little Seal", because the seal is small and vulnerable, but through it, everyone on the tundra can eat, from the caribou to the Great Bear to the . In the same way as children.

William:

I don't quite follow.

Iryuk:

When I was very young, Father Leiter O'Brian would talk to us about the softness and vulnerability of children. About the changing rooms for the altar boys smelling of innocence. About the T15. I never became a Catholic, but that image was burned in my mind. Do Mormons have a similar view on children? I would be so excited to work on children.

Iryuk:

*with children

William:

Family is very important to us. Let me give you a link about the importance of family in our church.

Iryuk:

Actually, could you not? The computer is running on limited supply because the daylight hours are long.

William:

I can give you the URL.

Iryuk:

Not now. URLs are very suspicious here. We have weirdos who wander in trying to look up dirty images. They usually do this through URLs.

William:

Oh, OK, I completely understand.

Iryuk:

I am told you also have a seal in the temple. I can't wait until I am worthy, so I can see the seals!

William:

That is a different type of seal, Iryuk.

Iryuk:

Oh, don't worry, I know about the different types of seals. It is essential to surviving the hunt.

William:

You should speak to the missionaries first. They can explain more about the temple for you.

Iryuk:

You don't seem to have much faith that I can become a missionary.

William:

You can, but you will need to join the church first.

Iryuk:

I already said I planned to do so. Why do you keep doubting my word?

William:

That is the first step. Will you invite them to meet with you?

Iryuk:

Obviously I will. I did say, however, that I've already met with missionaries, four years ago. I have also studied the Book of Mormon carefully all that time. Doesn't that count for anything?

William:

Yes, but you will need to actually join the church before you can be a missionary.

Iryuk:

I already said I would join the church. The only thing that has prevented me is the fact that I live very far away from most other people. That has prevented me from joining up until now.

William:

I understand. But you still need to join the church.

Iryuk:

You're being very condescending. I'm sensing some very subtle Yapik trolling.

William:

You cannot be this hypersensitive if you want to do mission work.

Iryuk:

It's cold here, but to be honest, William, the aspersions you're casting are even colder.

Iryuk:

I forgive you, William.

William:

I appreciate that, but I did not do anything.

Iryuk:

YFWGI

William:

I don't understand.

Iryuk:

That's because you're not a URM. Maybe I didn't have your fancy BYU third-tier degree, but I still love Jesus and I can still do a lot for the church.

William:

I never said otherwise.

William:

Why don't you take a break and we can continue this later?

Iryuk:

Maybe I'll be too busy splashing your CGWBT wives with Eskimo cockpie to bother coming back. I'd bang your daughters too, but they all look like hizzla. They'll be lucky if they get raped once in their lives.

Iryuk:

Killself, douchebag.

BANNNED!!!!!!!!!!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8072198)





Date: May 6th, 2007 5:37 PM
Author: bubbler (now a legit TTT)

Iryuk: I am told you also have a seal in the temple. I can't wait until I am worthy, so I can see the seals!

William: That is a different type of seal, Iryuk.

For some reason, I love this part the most.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8072278)





Date: May 6th, 2007 5:41 PM
Author: Evan3000

"It's cold here, but to be honest, William, the aspersions you're casting are even colder."

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8072300)





Date: May 6th, 2007 5:47 PM
Author: %^&$^*$%^

Iryuk:

Not now. URLs are very suspicious here. We have weirdos who wander in trying to look up dirty images. They usually do this through URLs.

William:

Oh, OK, I completely understand.



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8072337)





Date: May 6th, 2007 6:05 PM
Author: MrJackson

Looks like you weren't expecting him to have actually been to Alaska. Good recovery though.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8072490)





Date: May 6th, 2007 6:09 PM
Author: Well Done Roundhouse Flame

Spot on. I wasn't. I played for time and tried to remember what that damned town in "Balto" was called. Didn't want him to ding me, so there wasn't really time for Wikipedia.

In my defense, though, I did remember Inuit vs. Yapik from the one time I visited Alaska.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8072528)





Date: May 6th, 2007 6:09 PM
Author: Old Jeezy

I dig your work, d00d. Genius.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8072527)





Date: May 6th, 2007 6:26 PM
Author: Niggers Have a 180 on the COCKSAT

I bow to the master.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8072690)





Date: May 6th, 2007 8:40 PM
Author: dannieb

you developed this really well....however, I would have appreciated a different ending....not sure how, but I was a tad disappointed...

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8073551)





Date: May 7th, 2007 12:55 AM
Author: gobluelaw

This is by far my favorite, well done.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8075550)





Date: May 17th, 2007 11:52 AM
Author: analthendump (THIS IS OUR COUNTRY THIS IS OUR COUNTRY THIS IS OUR COUNTRY THIS)

fuckin sweet

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8130387)





Date: August 8th, 2008 2:26 PM
Author: Soapy

"But there are no temples in the Far North, where the Great Bear roams."

This is awesome.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#10047646)





Date: May 6th, 2007 6:31 PM
Author: loafer

the only way this could get better is if people start spamming Fertik's or Leiter's house with mormon missionaries. post transcripts plz

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8072716)





Date: May 6th, 2007 6:49 PM
Author: %^&$^*$%^

From what I've seen, they don't take addys for visits--they just redirect you.

But a "drunk Michael Fertik" persona might be hilarious.

"I disocvered FERTIK's LAW, bitch!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"Gd must bow to meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!"

Etc.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8072814)





Date: May 6th, 2007 8:41 PM
Author: dannieb

just follow their link and you can put in an address for missionaries to visit.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8073564)





Date: May 6th, 2007 8:49 PM
Author: -.-

excellent!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8073612)





Date: May 6th, 2007 7:00 PM
Author: Well Done Roundhouse Flame

Thank you for taking the time to chat with us and for your interest in the Church. Please know that you are welcome to worship with us any time, request a visit from Mormon missionaries, order a Book of Mormon, or continue to browse our Web site to learn more answers to life's greatest questions.

Close this window

Bradley:

Hi, how may I help you?

Joel:

Hi, I'm with the Jehovah's Witnesses and we are canvassing your neighborhood to let you about Jehovah's message. Would you be interested in talking to us for a few moments?

Bradley:

Thank you for coming in Joel. Our purpose here is to answer questions people have and help them understand our basic doctrines.

Joel:

Thanks for inviting me in, Bradley. We are available to answer all your questions.

Bradley:

Is there anything we can help you with?

Joel:

Yes, Bradley. Have you heard the good news about Jehovah God?

Bradley:

Have you browsed our websites? mormon.org, lds.org and josephsmith.net?

Joel:

To correct errors on those site, please visit http://www.watchtower.org for authoritative sources about beliefs and teachings.

Bradley:

That is next one very briefly explains the sacrament for us.

Bradley:

http://beta.mormon.org/mormonorg/v/index.jsp?vgnextoid=bd124e970b2e1110VgnVCM1000003a94610aRCRD&locale=0&sourceId=e8f59e599f8e1110VgnVCM100000176f620a____

(This URL is opening in the browser window that you opened the chat window from.)

Joel:

Have you been anointed, my friend? If not, please know that you're committing a grave error by partaking in Christ's memorial.

Bradley:

I'm sorry, I pushed you the wrong page. I apologize.

Joel:

I accept your apology. Baby steps, my friend, baby steps.

Bradley:

Our invitation to all Joel is to invite them to learn more about of faith and this is tool for people to come in and ask how they may do that.

Joel:

This is indeed a tool. In addition to our neighborhood efforts, I'd like to sign you up for a free subscription to our Watchtower newsletter.

Bradley:

I would be more than willing to guide you in the direction so you can know personally the truth of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

Joel:

I'm sorry but that request is outside of the scope of our purpose. Would you like us to send representatives of our Kingdom Hall to visit you at your home?

BANNED



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8072896)





Date: May 6th, 2007 7:31 PM
Author: Lucky Wang

[Joel:

I'm sorry but that request is outside of the scope of our purpose. Would you like us to send representatives of our Kingdom Hall to visit you at your home?]

Priceless.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8073137)





Date: May 6th, 2007 7:40 PM
Author: Lord Psycholomort

You should almost certainly adopt the persona of a Satanist who is looking for a slightly more cultish church.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8073204)





Date: May 6th, 2007 7:53 PM
Author: Fuckperty

180!

This thread CONTINUES to outclass itself. just.. wow.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8073294)





Date: May 6th, 2007 7:55 PM
Author: :;;;;.............,.,.,.,..,,,,,,,,,,,..,.,.,.,.,. (<Party of Five>)


We need to engrave these precious words upon gold tablets.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8073307)





Date: May 6th, 2007 8:45 PM
Author: dannieb

lol

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8073582)





Date: May 6th, 2007 8:18 PM
Author: Evan3000

omg, ty ty ty

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8073435)





Date: May 6th, 2007 8:46 PM
Author: dannieb

Bradley was trying to "one-up" a fellow cultist

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8073587)





Date: May 6th, 2007 8:13 PM
Author: Niggers Have a 180 on the COCKSAT
Subject: Carma's turn to be annoyed...triple ban is now my trademark

Carma, quite frankly, was a bitch. She wouldn't let me log in under the same name (automatically blocked me). I hope karma bites Carma in the ass.

First Chat

Thank you for taking the time to chat with us and for your interest in the Church. Please know that you are welcome to worship with us any time, request a visit from Mormon missionaries, order a Book of Mormon, or continue to browse our Web site to learn more answers to life's greatest questions.

Close this window

Carma:

Hello. How may I help you?

WGWAG:

Hi Carma. I'm trying to decide whether to vote for Mitt Romney and I need to know your church's position on WGWAG

WGWAG:

Also any link to CGWBT would be greatly appreciated.

Carma:

Well, let me say that we remain politically neutral as far as supporting any specific candidate goes...

WGWAG:

Understood. *wink*

Carma:

As for our position on WGWAG...to my knowledge we don't have any official position. I don't think there have been any statements made on that specifically.

WGWAG:

Given it's importance in today's highly charged political environment, don't you find the absence of a statement on an important issue like WGWAG a little problematic?

Carma:

For more information on any issues of a political nature, I invite you to look in the LDS newsroom on LDS.org.

WGWAG:

All right, I can understand why you dodged that question. WGWAG legislation is extreme hot button. Mind if I ask you another question, not on politics, while I'm here?

Carma:

We are here for you to be able to ask questions about the basic doctrine of our church--I would love to answer the questions you have about that.

WGWAG:

Thanks. With respect to eternal salvation, are CGWBT a relevant factor?

Carma:

I invite you to look through mormon.org and lds.org to find information regarding salvation. If you will read those things, I think you will find the answers that you are looking for.

Carma:

Good luck in your search.

WGWAG:

Where would I look?

WGWAG:

All the pages I see here don't answer my question.

Carma:

You could go to the "Ask a question" link and type salvation (or any other term) in the search field. That out to bring it up.

Carma:

*ought

WGWAG:

Or I could go to the "Ask a question" link and talk to a person who is in the know, right? Which is what I did.

Carma:

Ok. How can I help you?

WGWAG:

No search results came up for salvation and CGWBT. I find this highly improbable.

Carma:

I see. I thought you were wanting to know about salvation in general. I misunderstood. The reason you won't find it on mormon.org is because those questions are outside of the scope of our purpose here.

WGWAG:

Carma, I can appreciate that you need a break to wipe out your gigantic cunt. But this is your job. Aren't you supposed to be a professional instead of making up excuses?

For some reason, she never answered my question.

Second Chat

Thank you for taking the time to chat with us and for your interest in the Church. Please know that you are welcome to worship with us any time, request a visit from Mormon missionaries, order a Book of Mormon, or continue to browse our Web site to learn more answers to life's greatest questions.

Close this window

Carma:

Hello. How may I help you?

HTH:

Carma, why are you part of the LSD church?

Carma:

That's an interesting question--may I ask why you'd like to know?

HTH:

Someone's in a flirty mood. Well because it says at the top that you are and I want to confirm that you are indeed a Mormon. Do you know that Jesus loves you?

Carma:

I do. I know that He loves all of us.

Carma:

(And yes, I am a member.)

HTH:

Good to know. Now on CGWBT, would you say that you tend more to the side that believes in a federated system composed of individual sovereign mammaries or the more centrally controlled cheer?

HTH:

Carma, this is a simple yes or no question. Don't think too hard about it.

Carma:

One second...

Carma:

I afraid I don't know what you're referring to. But in any case, our purpose here is to answer questions about the basic doctrine of our church...

Carma:

and then to invite you to find out for yourself that it is true.

Carma:

Is that something that you would like to do?

HTH:

I'm ambivalent, Carma. There are very good arguments for either course of action. What would your advice be?

Carma:

I'm sorry. I am not here to give my advice. But if you would like to learn more about our basic beliefs, please browse Mormon.org to find more information.

HTH:

Carma, may I give some advice?

Carma:

You may, but I may not want to take it.

HTH:

Get President Hinckley's limp dick out of your mouth and practice on mine.

They stopped talking to me.

Third Chat

You are speaking live with Carma, who is a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Information provided in this session is to provide assistance only and is not an official statement of the Church.

Carma:

Hello. How may I help you?

XOXO:

Hi Carma! I recently received a beautiful copy of the Book of Mormon and I was wondering if you could answer a few questions I had.

Carma:

I will do my best to anwer them if I can.

XOXO:

I was reading Moron 7:30.

XOXO:

Sent a chill down my spine.

XOXO:

And since you are a Mormon, I was wondering how you read this passage.

Carma:

Let me find it, one moment.

Carma:

okay.

Carma:

I actually find this verse very comforting.

XOXO:

Oops, wrong verse. Sorry.

XOXO:

7:17 was what I meant. *kiss*

Carma:

Okay--I will find it.

Carma:

Okay, I'm looking at it.

Carma:

It seems fairly straightforward to me.

Carma:

There are only two forces at work in the world..

XOXO:

Huh? I always learned there were at least four.

Carma:

I'm not talking about physics; I mean two spiritual forces.

XOXO:

nice edit

Carma:

one is God and the other is Satan, and if anything persuades you away from God then it is of the Devil, because the devil will not persuade people to do good...

Carma:

He may deceive them into thinking that they are doing good, but appearances can be deceiving.

XOXO:

So, for example, a missionary on a chat site could actually be the devil?

XOXO:

!!!!

Carma:

You have just demonstrated the importance of our invitation to everyone--to sincerely find out from God for yourself what is true...

XOXO:

But what if it's just the appearance of God that really is trying to lead me away from God?

XOXO:

I'm not trying to be belligerent, it's genuinely scary, don't you think?

Carma:

I'm sorry, I don't get your meaning.

XOXO:

OK, presumably there's lots of people who sincerely think God is telling them the truth. My dad, for example, was a committed Buddhist. He was obviously being tricked by Satan, but how could he know it???

XOXO:

It's like being trapped. You know, like The Truman Show or going to Cornell.

Carma:

I know this--that what the Bible says is true--that everyone who asketh receiveth.

Carma:

Those who are following another way in all sincerity--I don't know why they have chosen what they have, or what has persuaded them to live that way.

Carma:

And it's not necessarily a bad way to live--I've never known a Buddhist to be anything but peaceful.

XOXO:

Well, my uncle was abusive and he was Buddhist. He threw prayer beads at us all the time.

Carma:

I'm sorry. This has not been my experience of Buddhists.

Carma:

They have always been very gentle.

XOXO:

That's what you think.

Carma:

But it is an incomplete way to live.

XOXO:

I agree. Buddhists are missing a lot, especially clothes and money and English.

Carma:

And Jesus too.

XOXO:

But how do I know that Jesus won't trick me like he tricked Buddhists? I want to believe, but it's so hard.

XOXO:

Especially when I have no clear counsel on the most important factor for me.

Carma:

I am sorry to hear that. I know that we are each judged according to the light and truth that we have been given. When you know something is wrong and you do it any way, no matter what religion you are, God knows that you knew better...

Carma:

Do you think that Jesus would trick you?

XOXO:

I don't know! I'm scared he might. I mean, look at the Buddhists. It would be a comfort to me if you could just point me to a passage in the Book of Mormon that would settle my mind on one issue.

XOXO:

Just one issue.

Carma:

Which issue (just for me to be clear)? About not being deceived? About how to know when you're hearing the voice of the Spirit and not something else?

XOXO:

Well, mostly, I just wanted to understand CGWBT.

Carma:

You are the third person who has asked about CGWBT today.

XOXO:

Maybe that should tell you that this is an important issue.

Carma:

If you would like, I could send some missionaries to talk with you about your concerns with CGWBT.

XOXO:

How many missionaries?

Carma:

Two can come to see you.

XOXO:

What kind of slut do you think I am?

And I was banned for the third time.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8073401)





Date: May 6th, 2007 8:20 PM
Author: -.-

XOXO:

It's like being trapped. You know, like The Truman Show *or going to Cornell.*

:D

Carma:

You are the third person who has asked about CGWBT today.

:D



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8073444)





Date: May 6th, 2007 8:22 PM
Author: Evan3000

third conversation is superb

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8073448)





Date: May 6th, 2007 8:23 PM
Author: ...... .... ..... ...... ..... ..... ...... ....

My favorite so far...

"It's like being trapped. You know, like The Truman Show or going to Cornell."

Classic.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8073455)





Date: May 6th, 2007 8:52 PM
Author: dannieb

your chat had the two best lines in this whole thread.....

Get President Hinckley's limp dick out of your mouth and practice on mine.

you would like, I could send some missionaries to talk with you about your concerns with CGWBT.



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8073634)





Date: May 6th, 2007 9:06 PM
Author: rennug



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8073721)





Date: May 6th, 2007 10:39 PM
Author: Hooked on Eugenics

LOL!!!!!

"HTH:

Good to know. Now on CGWBT, would you say that you tend more to the side that believes in a federated system composed of individual sovereign mammaries or the more centrally controlled cheer?"

180!!!!!!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8074378)





Date: May 6th, 2007 9:23 PM
Author: NYLS 2L

Thank you for taking the time to chat with us and for your interest in the Church. Please know that you are welcome to worship with us any time, request a visit from Mormon missionaries, order a Book of Mormon, or continue to browse our Web site to learn more answers to life's greatest questions.

Close this window

Justin:

Hello. How may I help you?

AnthonyCiolli:

Hi, I recently saw the PBS documentary on the LDS church.

Justin:

Great!

AnthonyCiolli:

And it got me thinking about the book of mormon

Justin:

That is great! Have you read the Book of Mormon?

AnthonyCiolli:

Well, I was greatly disappointed when I read this book after being given a copy of it by one of my Mormon friends.

AnthonyCiolli:

I'll be the first one to tell other people that it's important to respect other peoples' religious traditions. However, I find it a lot easier to respect the Mormon's religion than to respect their holy book. This book strikes me as neither interesting nor deep. The style of writing is rather uniform, unlike older texts which were compiled from a variety of sources and have been preserved for thousands of years.

Justin:

Have you spoken to any missionaries about this?

AnthonyCiolli:

Yes.

AnthonyCiolli:

I told them my biggest complaint about this book is how it so transparently presents the dominant values of the society that Joseph Smith was living in.

AnthonyCiolli:

The Jesus that appears in the book of Mormon is not the same Jesus that lived and died two thousand years ago, and whose life and teachings are documented in the four gospels and in other texts.

AnthonyCiolli:

The Jesus in this book is oversimplified...he does not lead people through the countryside teaching them slowly and in parables, and he does not challenge the authority of organized religion--in contrast, he seems to support the notion of organized religion to some degree.

AnthonyCiolli:

He simply appears and spouts out a bunch of stuff all at once, in a very simplified fashion, and what he spouts includes a lot of the dominant values from Joseph Smith's society--stuff that has little, if anything, to do with the original Jesus.

AnthonyCiolli:

I've always wanted to re-write this book. Maybe I will some day. I haven't had any divine inspiration to do so, however, and apparently no one else has either...so until this day comes, we'll have to deal with it as it is. I have a feeling it's not particularly high on God's list of priorities.

BANNED! FREESPEECHPWN3D.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8073827)





Date: May 6th, 2007 9:37 PM
Author: dannieb

great job GTO

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8073888)





Date: May 6th, 2007 10:27 PM
Author: Hooked on Eugenics

You are speaking live with Jason, who is a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Information provided in this session is to provide assistance only and is not an official statement of the Church.

Jason:

How may I help you?

Opal:

hiiii jason!

Jason:

Hello

Opal:

my name is opal. im just an ordinary indian-american girl from new jersey.

Opal:

can you help me with a special problem im having?

Jason:

I hope so.

Opal:

i went to in the maaaall last Thursday. me and my girlfriend priscilla (more like priss-ill-aaaah) were looking for summer clothes. five department stores, and 170 specialty shops later, i was sick of listening to her hum along to Alicia Keys.

Opal:

that's when I saw two *VERY* hothothot guys who gave me a brochure as well as a free copy of book of mormon. and i was like double the fun. but yeah anyway i started reading after i got home bc well the guys were soooooo cute!!!

Opal:

now like heres my question.

Opal:

jason r u still there????

Opal:

i need 2 no

Jason:

Yes, go ahead.

Opal:

tytyty. now i have this mormon book on my desk and i have an english paper due very soon. i need this paper so i can get an a and be valedictorian and go to harvard wich is my parents DREAM. i ma sure my teacher wouldnt notice (cause shes OLD) if i borrowed 1 or 2 phrases from the book. u think thats right?

Jason:

You should cite the reference like you would any other source.

Jason:

That is the honest thing to do.

Opal:

but this is a poetry assn. how am i supposed to write FIVE PAGES of poetry? and the mormon book has so many beautiful passages. i love reading it. it is my FAVORITE book.

Jason:

I'm sorry, I can't help you with that.

Opal:

ok but i looooove this book you guys gave me anyway. it is THE best in the world. so tytytyty

Opal:

its just sooooooooooo much better than anything i could EVER write. sometiems that makes me sad and i cry. *tear*

Jason:

I don't have much help to offer on your paper. But I would like to tolk about what you have read in the Book of Momron.

Opal:

well, first of all, i believe this was written by god because it reads like something a harvard student could have writen and joseph smith according to my sources never went to harvard (OMG)!

Opal:

so how can i explain it? must have been the work of jesus.

Opal:

what do you think?

Jason:

How much have you read?

Opal:

i have read a lot. almost the entire reading list for my grade level (i will be in ap next year).

Jason:

Of the Book of Mormon.

Opal:

o, right, sorry.

Opal:

i read all of 1 nephii. then read 2 nephi, but it got confusing, so i skipped and read the ending (moroni, i think...yup, moroni). and then i read some of jarom, which was my favorite so far.

Opal:

right now im looking at book of ether, which is cool, but a little out there, if you know what i mean.

Jason:

What did you like in Jarom?

Opal:

well, its really short for one.

Opal:

but not just that.

Opal:

verse 8 is my total favorite. all right get this: i want to be an i-banker. and when i read that verse, i thought OMG, jesus is sooooooo calling me!

Opal:

it was almost as if the book was speaking right to me...as a person. like i could feel jesus right in my bed with me as i was reading.

Opal:

have you ever felt that?!? i never felt from reading a book, it was always like zzzzzzz...boring. but this was different. like way different

Opal:

do you know what i mean jason?

Opal:

what passages do you like?

Jason:

Let me share with you one of my favorite passages from the Book of Mormon.

Opal:

plz do!!!!

Jason:

http://scriptures.lds.org/en/search?search=3+Nephi+11%3A1-17

(This URL is opening in the browser window that you opened the chat window from.)

Jason:

This is one of the most sacred events in the Book of Mormon.

Opal:

oh i have completely not gotten to 3 nephii

Opal:

spoilers?

Jason:

No!

Opal:

plz i will love u 4 ever if you spoil!!!

Jason:

Just after the Savior was resurrected, he came to America and visited the people that were living here at the time.

Jason:

The Book builds to this event.

Jason:

Let me know when you have read those verses.

Opal:

so jesus was in america???

Opal:

do you know if he was involved in the founding of harvard? that would completely stoke my parents!

Opal:

i am so going to read them...RIGHT NOW.

Jason:

Have you read the verses I sent you?

Opal:

i can read super fast.

Opal:

OMG, yes, i just finished it. so jesus came out. of. the. sky.

Opal:

wow

Opal:

can i ask a super-strange question??? major bugging me?

Jason:

Notice that he asked the people to come to Him one by one.

Opal:

uh huh

Opal:

but how come it took 3 times for them to hear him? i mean i have bad ears but if jesus came out of the sky, i would still totally hear it.

Jason:

That is something that I appreciate about Him. That he knows each of us one by one.

Opal:

its almost like were custom-made.

Jason:

Good question.

Jason:

Verse 5 describes what they did to finally understand.

Jason:

And again the third time they did hear the voice, and did aopen their ears to hear it; and their eyes were towards the sound thereof; and they did look steadfastly towards heaven, from whence the sound came.

Opal:

opened their ears?

Opal:

but your ears are always open! or mine are...lolz

Jason:

It is hard to undertstand when God speaks at first, but if you focus on Him, and open your ears (by being willing to learn and humble), then you can understand.

Opal:

so you are saying that to write my poetry assn i need to focus on God. that totally makes snese!

Jason:

Opal, I encourage you to keep reading the Book of Mormon. One of the things that I value about it is that it helps me to come unto Christ.

Opal:

i enjoy coming onto christ as well...it feels like a magnet drawing me to something deep and profound and poetic.

Jason:

that is something that I value a great deal.

Opal:

i feel for you.

Jason:

I need to go soon.

Opal:

can i come another time to talk with you? you were so helpful.

Jason:

Is there anything else I can help you with?

Opal:

no thats all. im going thru a dry spell thanx 4 making it better. i luve you...lolz

Jason:

You're welcome. I can't guarantee you will speak to me next time. Take care.

Opal:

we dont have to talk nxt time...you can just suck my plaigiarist pussy...lolercaust!!!!

Jason:

Opal, that is a highly inappropriate remark.

Opal:

i know...but i wont let u fuck me just yet!

Opal:

<JASON3 <JASON3 <JASON3

Opal:

thats ur cock and sack not a hart

Opal:

luv ya!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8074269)





Date: May 6th, 2007 11:11 PM
Author: Evan3000

i'm in tears. thank you.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8074654)





Date: May 6th, 2007 11:13 PM
Author: Hooked on Eugenics

ywywyw

First time I got off the ground.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8074675)





Date: May 7th, 2007 10:15 AM
Author: %^&$^*$%^

nicely done!

lol, kaavya.

So they let "OMG" thru. Wonder if they'd get "OMFG"?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8076848)





Date: May 6th, 2007 11:03 PM
Author: t14 gunner

Does anyone have Leiter's home address? I'm thinking about trying to direct the missionaries to his office, but I'm not sure they'll go for that

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8074580)





Date: May 6th, 2007 11:12 PM
Author: Hooked on Eugenics

I don't know. In light of T14 contest, this just sounds like a meltdown waiting to happen, even though I don't see any immediate problems. The thread is good as it is.

Please rate my conversation. TYIA.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8074659)





Date: May 6th, 2007 11:15 PM
Author: .,..,.,.,.,,,.,..,.,.,.,.,,.,.,.,..,.,.,,..,.,. (Alchemist, Geometer, Astrologer)


his CV is 19 pgs long

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8074695)





Date: May 6th, 2007 11:24 PM
Author: Poontonimous (http://www.hidebehind.com/2B9081)

They have forms that refer missionaries to people. I'm sure they'd call first, though.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8074789)





Date: May 7th, 2007 12:02 AM
Author: dannieb

actually, they don't call. perhaps they will call if they go and then the person is not home. I have sent missionaries to people in the past. Sometimes I put a real number or a random number such as (area code)-555-1212.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8075128)





Date: May 7th, 2007 5:09 AM
Author: womanontop

*tears of laughter*

i can't believe how long this is lasting...

we should make a pact to hunt down anyone who tips them off...

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8076554)





Date: May 7th, 2007 10:08 AM
Author: done and done (facts are fascist)

I have a much better idea than my previous one for a chat. 7 pm EST I'll post it if I can get it off the ground.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8076818)





Date: May 7th, 2007 12:23 PM
Author: Niggers Have a 180 on the COCKSAT

I think the time has come to refine our countermormon strategy. Up until now, we've been following a fairly generic plan. Perhaps we should start tailoring individualized strategies for the various recurring characters. For example, I think Carma's a pretty different beast from, say, Bradley or Justin. Maybe we should handle each one differently to maximize results. Does this sound like a good idea?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8077413)





Date: May 7th, 2007 12:30 PM
Author: %^&$^*$%^

This sounds credited to me.

After all, we learned that one of them (I forget which) spent time in Alaska.

If we developed dossiers on each, it would allow for more targeted pwnag3.

Things in the dossiers might also include:

1) Whether they've been tubgirled/goatse'd

2) "Characters" of ours who they've "met"

etc.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8077442)





Date: May 7th, 2007 1:10 PM
Author: Niggers Have a 180 on the COCKSAT

A probe and destroy has confirmed that Mormons are now sharing intelligence on us as well.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8077594)





Date: May 7th, 2007 1:22 PM
Author: %^&$^*$%^

aha...lookin' forward to it

:)

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8077623)





Date: May 7th, 2007 1:26 PM
Author: .,..,.,.,.,,,.,..,.,.,.,.,,.,.,.,..,.,.,,..,.,. (Alchemist, Geometer, Astrologer)


..........

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8077638)





Date: May 7th, 2007 12:33 PM
Author: .,..,.,.,.,,,.,..,.,.,.,.,,.,.,.,..,.,.,,..,.,. (Alchemist, Geometer, Astrologer)


someone should use subtle racism and other inappropriate terms...sort of like borat. drop in random slurs like it's no big deal, and if they tell you it's inappropriate, get defensive and say that they're not used to your culture. or something. you know the drill.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8077452)





Date: May 7th, 2007 1:32 PM
Author: gobluelaw

I sort of did this when I pretended I was a brazilian women and explained how the missionaries fucked my friend. I blamed it on me not knowing english that well and he continued to talk to me.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8077679)





Date: May 7th, 2007 2:43 PM
Author: Well Done Roundhouse Flame
Subject: Caleb praises God...read to find out why.

You are speaking live with Caleb, who is a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Information provided in this session is to provide assistance only and is not an official statement of the Church.

Caleb:

Hi, how may I help you?

George:

Hi Caleb.

George:

How are you today?

Caleb:

I'm doing fine, yourself?

George:

Been better. I've been sober now for my fourth week today.

Caleb:

That's great!

Caleb:

Are you currently investigating the church?

George:

I have been, yes. Now that I'm not drinking anymore, I'm starting to think about Jesus. I've been visiting various Christian sites to see what they all teach and I came across this one.

George:

I have two questions for you if you don't mind.

Caleb:

I'm happy for you that you are searching for Jesus Christ, go right ahead with the questions!

George:

My first question is, if you had to choose one sentence that said the most important thing you would want me to know about your church, what would it be?

Caleb:

That's a great question. The sentence would be as follows: Jesus Christ has restored his Gospel through a prophet today, and that prophet leads the Church through direct revelation from Christ.

George:

All right. Thank you Caleb.

Caleb:

What is your second question?

George:

My second question is, what is your opinion of Rowan?

Caleb:

I'm not sure who that is?

George:

Are you saying Fertik isn't very important to you?

Caleb:

I've never heard of anyone like that.

George:

He ruins lives for a living.

Caleb:

I'm very sorry to hear that.

George:

So I was wondering if you could do a special Mormon dance. To protect me from Fertik.

Caleb:

I'm afraid I don't understand.

George:

You know, where you stick needles into a doll of Fertik.

Caleb:

There is no such dance in our church.

George:

I'm pretty sure it was on your website, htfh.

Caleb:

No.

Caleb:

George, if you don't mind, I have a question for you.

George:

Go ahead.

Caleb:

Why are you here?

George:

I'm seeking answers to the important questions of life. Now that I'm sober, I want to get my life back on track. I think your church can help me. But not as long as Fertik is in business.

Caleb:

The Book of Mormon is another testament of Jesus Christ. It can help you come closer to him.

Caleb:

It is a record of prophets who lived and preached in ancient America.

George:

Wait, you mean the Indians?

Caleb:

It also contains an instance where Jesus Christ appeared to the people on that continent. It is really an amazing story.

Caleb:

No, not like the Indians.

Caleb:

Some scholars place Book of Mormon happening in Central America, but no one is quite sure.

George:

But weren't the Indians in ancient America? They crossed the bridge in Alaska and spread around everywhere?

Caleb:

All that we know is that the Book of Mormon was written by prophets who lived somewhere on the American continent.

George:

Could they have lived on Long Island?

Caleb:

It is possible.

George:

I do not trust people from Long Island.

Caleb:

One second, let me find a page will quick that might help you out.

Caleb:

With this specific topic, I mean.

George:

Long Island?

Caleb:

Well, with the origins of the Book of Mormon.

George:

Hey, Caleb if this a prophetic book, can it answer some of my most important questions? Like why I am here? What is the right thing to do? Why is there pain in this world? How can we achieve the CGWBT standard?

Caleb:

It can indeed, here is the page that I was looking for. It is the introduction to the Book of Mormon.

Caleb:

http://scriptures.lds.org/en/bm/introduction

(This URL is opening in the browser window that you opened the chat window from.)

Caleb:

What does "CGWBT" mean?

Caleb:

Did you get that page?

George:

Christian Give With Big Tithe. It is a reminder to be grateful for all of God's blessings and return to Him what we have received.

George:

It is something I learned in my alcoholics class.

Caleb:

Yes, I am familiar with the subject. We pay tithing in this church as well.

George:

You are familiar with the subject of CGWBT?

Caleb:

Yes. The concept of CGWBT is very important in my life.

George:

I hope you will share the joy of CGWBT with all your friends, Caleb. We forget sometimes that God has blessed us and that we must always seek to mold our behavior around CGWBT.

George:

I am learning to be more grateful to God as a result.

Caleb:

That is true, we do need to remember how important it is to show our gratitude to God for the things which he has given us.

Caleb:

That's wonderful!

Caleb:

George, did you get a chance to read that page I sent you?

George:

I am. This is amazing stuff Caleb! Do you mind if I print this out so I can read it some more throughout my day. I have the feeling that this is really something to ponder.

Caleb:

Go ahead and print it out.

Caleb:

That's fine!

Caleb:

I can also send you a copy of the Book of Mormon, if you so desire.

Caleb:

It would be a gift, of course.

George:

Caleb could I read more about this Book and maybe come back tomorrow to order it?

George:

I want to pray about this, if you don't mind.

Caleb:

For sure, let me get you another page that will give you some more information. Hold on for one second.

George:

No problem.

Caleb:

Here is a copy of the book online, it should give you a good idea about what the book is all about.

Caleb:

http://scriptures.lds.org/en/bm/contents

(This URL is opening in the browser window that you opened the chat window from.)

Caleb:

George, thank you for your interest.

Caleb:

I would like to let you know that I know that God loves you very much and that he has given us the Book of Mormon to come closer to him. I can promise you that if you read it and pray about it (just like you were going to do) you will feel his love.

George:

Please understand if I want to take my time with this.

George:

But I hope God blesses you and that you always remember CGWBT.

Caleb:

I will definetly always remeber that concept. It is a wonderful way that God has given us to show our devotion to him.

George:

Will you always keep CGWBT in your mind?

Caleb:

Yes. I will remember to thank each day and to show it with CGWBT.

George:

Your church seems by far the most enthusiastic about CGWBT. It certainly explains a lot in the history of the Mormons. Your success and growth owes a lot to CGWBT.

Caleb:

George I am so glad that CGWBT have led you to the truth about God and his prophets today. It just goes to show how God truly blesses our lives.

George:

WGWAG

George:

It's another beautiful phrase I learned in my alcoholic class.

Caleb:

What does it stand for?

George:

With God We Achieve Greatness

Caleb:

That is a beautiful message indeed.

George:

I'm glad we shared this. You taught me about the Book of Mormon, and I was able to pass on CGWBT and WGWAG to you.

Caleb:

Isn't God wonderful?

George:

Yes, He truly is, Caleb. 180--that means turn from self to Christ.

Caleb:

Thank you for sharing this George.

George:

All right, before I go, once again--

George:

CGWBT

Caleb:

WGWAG. Praise God for that.

PWN3DMORMONSWITHOUTGETTINGSELFBANNED!!!!!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8078205)





Date: May 7th, 2007 3:21 PM
Author: NYLS 2L

lol. tytytytyty.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8078533)





Date: May 7th, 2007 5:30 PM
Author: .,..,.,.,.,,,.,..,.,.,.,.,,.,.,.,..,.,.,,..,.,. (Alchemist, Geometer, Astrologer)


you have a gift.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8079527)





Date: May 7th, 2007 11:07 PM
Author: theAnon

BOOO! This is doctored. I knew these were too good to be true.

"George I am so glad that CGWBT have led you to the truth about God and his prophets today. It just goes to show how God truly blesses our lives."

Why would he use the plural "have" in this context if you're talking about an idea?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8081441)





Date: May 8th, 2007 12:03 AM
Author: ...... .... ..... ...... ..... ..... ...... ....

Well done.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8081753)





Date: May 7th, 2007 11:13 PM
Author: sarcaschtick\'s Betrayed Mother

this was by far the most insidious one of them all.

kudos to you, 180^180 and all that jazz

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8081464)





Date: May 7th, 2007 11:50 PM
Author: Sweep the Leg Johnny (i am told it subsequently became something offensive)

this is amazing. it's like you hypnotized him.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8081669)





Date: May 17th, 2007 12:07 PM
Author: analthendump (THIS IS OUR COUNTRY THIS IS OUR COUNTRY THIS IS OUR COUNTRY THIS)

180 for all of your flames

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8130459)





Date: May 7th, 2007 5:52 PM
Author: ...................,,,,,,.,


Thank you for taking the time to chat with us and for your interest in the Church. Please know that you are welcome to worship with us any time, request a visit from Mormon missionaries, order a Book of Mormon, or continue to browse our Web site to learn more answers to life's greatest questions.

Close this window

Apollo : Hello, I have an important question

Carma: Hello. How may I help you?

Carma: I will do my best to answer it if I can.

Apollo :what is the mormon church's official position on boxing?

Carma:To my knowledge, I don't think that the church has an official position on boxing.

Apollo :would I be barred from joining the church if I participate in boxing?

Carma: As long as you were willing to learn and abide by the principles of the gospel of Jesus Christ, other things shouldn't keep you from being able to join. Are you considering joining?

Apollo :So even though I box mainly because I actually enjoy causing pain to others(and not really for the competitive aspects), I would still be allowed to join?

Carma: In order for more information on the specifics, you would need to talk to your local leadership--the missionaries in your area and those associated with them.

Apollo : there are missionaries in my area?

Carma: For more information concerning our basic beliefs and how you could get in contact with those missionaries--there are in most areas of the world. I'm not sure exactly where you are...I can send you the request form and you can fill it out...

Carma: if you like.

Apollo : do you think these "missionaries" would be a good place for me to find sparring partners? various accidents and misfortunes have befallen my prior partners

Apollo : but perhaps the new ones might be more resilient thanks to the protection of Jesus

Carma: We are primarily concerned with fostering fellowship through the church.

Apollo : Is it wrong to knock somebody out?

Apollo : Like, I was fighting this two bit bum, wasn't fit to be in the ring with me, and I was just toying with him, working my jab. I could have easily spared him the pain and humiliation of being knocked out and still won, but I went for the KO because I like it when the announcer talks about how many of my wins have come by knockout.

Apollo : Was I being selfish, or was it OK to give that bum what he deserved?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8079688)





Date: May 7th, 2007 6:06 PM
Author: SoooonyCourtwand2009

not funny at all. hth.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8079801)





Date: May 7th, 2007 6:21 PM
Author: Niggers Have a 180 on the COCKSAT

Thank you for taking the time to chat with us and for your interest in the Church. Please know that you are welcome to worship with us any time, request a visit from Mormon missionaries, order a Book of Mormon, or continue to browse our Web site to learn more answers to life's greatest questions.

Close this window

Steven Chase:

Hi, thank you for visiting mormon.org, how may I help you?

Albert:

I was wondering if you could help me derive an analytic form for the square site percolation threshold.

Steven Chase:

I'm sorry. This feature is to help people understand the basic doctrines of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Do you have a question about this site?

Albert:

Actually, my question is directly related to the basic doctrines of the Church. I wanted to know about The Book of Mormon. As I understand, it helps you determine truth from falsehood. Would that be an accurate statement?

Steven Chase:

The Book of Mormon is an account of ancient scripture comparable to the Bible. It helps us understand the doctrines of Jesus Christ's gospel and discern falsehoods.

Steven Chase:

However, the role of the Holy Ghost is to help us understand truths. He can even help you understand your original question.

Steven Chase:

Can I send you a link that explains the role of the Holy Ghost?

Albert:

Will this link harm my computer? I am running a background sieve program that requires a lot of memory and there's a lot of precious data there. Please don't send malicious or otherwise threatening programs.

Steven Chase:

No, it's just a link to this site. We wouldn't send a malicious link to you. Is it ok if I send that?

Albert:

But I am already on this site. Why would I need a link to this site?

Steven Chase:

It's just a quick way for me to guide you through the site, if you'd like you may also go to the "ask a question" button or the "glossary" on this site and look for yourself.

Albert:

Somehow I think you are presenting a false dichotomy. Surely there is an intermediate option between you sending me a potentially malicious link and me having to navigate through this obscure page by myself?

Steven Chase:

You were talking about the purpose of the Book of Mormon. The main purpose of the Book of Mormon is to testify of Christ, but it is also proof that Joseph Smith was a prophet called by Jesus Christ.

Steven Chase:

Here is the link:

Steven Chase:

http://beta.mormon.org/mormonorg/v/index.jsp?vgnextoid=bd124e970b2e1110VgnVCM1000003a94610aRCRD&locale=0&sourceId=602a0f74351e1110VgnVCM100000176f620a____

(This URL is opening in the browser window that you opened the chat window from.)

Albert:

Looks like you decided to send your malicious link anyway.

Steven Chase:

It's not malicious.

Steven Chase:

Have you read the Book of Mormon?

Albert:

I downloaded a PDF version of it and did a quick search through the contents. Unfortunately, I wasn't able to find what I had been looking for. Perhaps my search parameters were incorrect?

Steven Chase:

If you don't have a copy of the Book of Mormon, I can send a free copy to you.

Steven Chase:

I'm sorry, a PDF version of what?

Albert:

A PDF version of the Book of Mormon. It was given to me on my birthday by a very dear friend of mine.

Steven Chase:

That is great that you have a copy of the Book of Mormon though, have you read it?

Albert:

As I mentioned, I did a text search through it. I am still analyzing its contents in light of the Church-Turing Thesis.

Steven Chase:

I'm not familiar with the term Church-Turing Thesis.

Albert:

The Church-Turing Thesis allows me to use general recursive functions when dissecting the Book of Mormon. It has led to many wonderful insights about the axiological structure of its claims.

Steven Chase:

Was your friend a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints?

Albert:

I do not know. We never discussed our personal lives, even though we were exceptionally close. She was the sort of person who could walk with you for long miles without saying a word and yet you would utterly comfortable all the while.

Albert:

She has since passed on. I miss her greatly.

Steven Chase:

I'm sorry that your friend passed away. Have you read through the Book of Mormon though?

Albert:

I am still analyzing the contents of the Book of Mormon at this time.

Steven Chase:

If you are curious about the content of the Book of Mormon I would like to encourage you to read through the text of the Book of Mormon, think about the things that it teaches and especially pray about it, asking God if it is true.

Steven Chase:

The Holy Ghost can then teach you if it is true. Another role of the Holy Ghost is to comfort us.

Albert:

Yes, but what about Godel?

Steven Chase:

I am not familiar with Godel.

Steven Chase:

Did you mean the Gospel?

Albert:

Well, in basic terms, Godel demonstrated that any formal system that is interesting enough to formulate its own consistency can prove its own consistency iff it is inconsistent.

Steven Chase:

Do you believe that God is all knowing and answers prayers?

Albert:

A general solution to the Entscheidungsproblem is impossible, as has been proven by Church and Turing.

Steven Chase:

I am not familiar with that. However, I would like you to know that I have a testimony of an all knowing and living God. He is our Heavenly Father. He loves us and wants us to be happy.

Steven Chase:

Have you read the Book of Mormon?

Albert:

This is the third time you have used this particular input. Since this conversation is a bijective function, I fail to see how you expect to achieve a different output by doing so.

Steven Chase:

What role has religion played in your life?

Albert:

I have often longed to read from God's Book, which has all the solutions I have been longing to find. Erdos wrote beautifully about it and it has formed the core of my religion.

Steven Chase:

I am sincerely curious about your beliefs and whether or not you are a sincere seeker of truth, especially about the truth of Christ's Church. My questions are based only on helping me help you.

Albert:

I sincerely seek the truth. It forms the core of my life. But even truth must be defined and proven, otherwise it is merely conjecture. Not to say that conjectures are not interesting. But they are not proof.

Steven Chase:

What are you looking for in a religion then?

Albert:

I am looking for the music and the harmony that elucidates our world. I am looking for the pattern of all things.

Steven Chase:

Ok, well I can tell you that there is proof.

Steven Chase:

Would you like to know where you can find that proof?

Albert:

Proof of which particular theorem?

Steven Chase:

The proof that there is a Christ, that God lives and communicates with us today.

Albert:

All right, would you mind if I formulated your proposed hypothesis as a rigorous statement for the purposes of clarity?

Albert:

You are proposing that there exists at least one Christ such that (1) God exists, (2) God meets the necessary and sufficient conditions for life and (3) God communicates in a particular temporal interval.

Steven Chase:

I would like to invite you to continue searching on this and other of the Church's sites and then to sincerely pray and ask God if the things you learn are true. Let me tell you about the wonderful experience that I had when I read the Book of Mormon.

Albert:

It seems to me that you are attempting a proof by mathematical induction. I do not doubt that you may be able to prove the basis. However, it is the inductive step that concerns me here, Steven.

Steven Chase:

Albert, my purpose is to help those who sincerely want to learn about Christ and His true Church on the earth today. Those who sincerely want to find the truth are invited to pray to God to learn if that is true.

Albert:

I am trying to understand you, but there are many terms you are not defining sufficiently, Steven. I am attempting to clarify where I can.

Steven Chase:

I am glad that you are eager to find the truth, but I cannot answer every question you have. I again encourage you to continue looking on these sites and ask God if they are true.

Albert:

We have already established that the algorithm God does not exist. Please review your notes to effect.

And that was it. I got banned.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8079868)





Date: May 7th, 2007 6:45 PM
Author: %^&$^*$%^

Albert:

Yes, but what about Godel?

Steven Chase:

I am not familiar with Godel.

Did you mean the Gospel?

Funny :-)

I guess the natural next step would be to have

"Stephen" introduce Steven to the Field Equations

for General Relativity...;)

E.g., "It's quite obvious, with a quantum-mechanical

treatment of black holes, that an information-bearing

celestial body like "God" must needs be increasing in

entropy..."



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8079975)





Date: May 7th, 2007 10:28 PM
Author: Hooked on Eugenics
Subject: 177

Hilarious chat transcript, especially the Godel part. But I still think you could have struck with a more solid ending.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8081228)





Date: May 7th, 2007 10:51 PM
Author: gobluelaw

I used Roundhouse's great CGWBT idea and expanded on it. TY for the idea Roundhouse. I think we should continue using this acronym, perhaps it will be adopted by the Mormons.

Speak With a MissionaryThank you for taking the time to chat with us and for

your interest in the Church. Please know that you are welcome to worship with us

any time, request a visit from Mormon missionaries, order a Book of Mormon, or

continue to browse our Web site to learn more answers to life's greatest

questions.

Close this window

Ben: How may I help you today?

William: Hello, I'm wondering if the LDS religion could help me live the principles of CGWBT?

Ben: I'm sorry, I'm not sure I understand. What is CGWBT?

William: OMFG, CGWBT? Are you kidding me!?!? It's Christians Give with Big Tithe.

Ben: Oh, I didn't know that, sorry.

William: It's okay, just don't let it happen again. So can I be with CGWBT always by being a Mormon?

Ben: Well I'm still not sure what that means, perhaps you could search our website, mormon.org.

William: OMFG, you cannot be serious! Perhaps your not fluent in English. I just want to find out about CGWBT.

Ben: Well, your right, I am still learning the language.

William: You better get with the program, Ben, or else you won't be able to experience CGWBT.

Ben: I know, I'm learning everyday. However I have to go now, I invite you to continue browsing our sites.

I was kicked off at this point, I logged back in and spoke to Craig.

Speak With a MissionaryThank you for taking the time to chat with us and for

your interest in the Church. Please know that you are welcome to worship with us

any time, request a visit from Mormon missionaries, order a Book of Mormon, or

continue to browse our Web site to learn more answers to life's greatest

questions.

Close this window

Craig:

How may I help you today?

William:

I was wondering about CGWBT. Could the Church help me live by this principle?

I asked Ben but he didn't understand my question.

Craig:

I also don't understand what you are referring to.

William:

CGWBT stands for Christians give with big tithe. I'm looking for a religion

that will help me live with this principle in mind.

Craig:

Let me send you a page that explains tithing.

Craig:

http://beta.mormon.org/mormonorg/v/index.jsp?vgnextoid=7a45055b23710110VgnVCM1000003a94610aRCRD&locale=0&sourceId=d8a76db0580a1110VgnVCM100000176f620a____

(This URL is opening in the browser window that you opened the chat window

from.)

William:

OMFG!!! This is exactly what I was looking for. So as a mormon I can be a

Christian that gives with a big tithe?

Craig:

We believe that tithing is a commandment that God has given us. We are only

asked to give 10% of our income, but other donations are always welcome and will

always go to helping others.

William:

Excellent, is that gross or net pay?

Craig:

We pay tithing on our income before taxes.

William:

Okay excellent this seems like an adequate religion. Where should I begin to

send my checks?

Craig:

The first thing to do is to meet with some of our representatives.

Craig:

Will you meet with a couple of our representatives?

William:

Will they take my checks? I'll meet them if I can tithe.

Craig:

They will help you learn more about the gospel and will direct you to where to

send your check.

William:

Okay sounds like a plan! Believe me, you'll want my checks, I will work at a V5

after graduating from HLS.

Craig:

Let me send you a page where you can request a visit from our

representatives.

Craig:

http://beta.mormon.org/mormonorg/offerfulfillment

(This URL is opening in the browser window that you opened the chat window

from.)

William:

Oh noes, I didn't get that page! Perhaps I'm not worthy enough to view

it?

Craig:

http://beta.mormon.org/mormonorg/v/index.jsp?vgnextoid=57b29c3a68a50110VgnVCM1000003a94610aRCRD&locale=0

(This URL is opening in the browser window that you opened the chat window

from.)

Craig:

Did that work?

William:

Oh yes it did, tytyty. This is so helpful. I guarantee Craig, that I will live

CGWBT so fully that a Temple will be built due to my actions.

Craig:

I know the representatives can help you and I hope you have a good day.

William:

You too Craig, may CGWBT be with you always. I hope that multiple CGWBT will

dwell in your household as in the days of old.

Craig:

Have a good day.

William:

Remember CGWBT always Craig. XOXO HTFT.



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8081345)





Date: May 7th, 2007 11:22 PM
Author: sarcaschtick\'s Betrayed Mother

how come they don't realize that OMFG contains profanity?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8081507)





Date: May 7th, 2007 11:26 PM
Author: gobluelaw

I don't know but I will continue to pepper my chats with OMFG until they ban me.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8081520)





Date: May 7th, 2007 11:57 PM
Author: Hooked on Eugenics
Subject: The era of linking is over.

You are speaking live with Craig, who is a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Information provided in this session is to provide assistance only and is not an official statement of the Church.

Craig:

Hello. How can I help you today?

Lindsey:

Why does your church allow Safeway to sell alcohol?

Craig:

I'm sorry. I don't know what you are talking about. This site is to discuss the foundations of the gospel of Jesus Christ and I would love to send you a page about our beliefs on alcohol and other things.

Lindsey:

Doesn't your church own Safeway?

Craig:

The Church doesn't own Safeway.

Lindsey:

Oh, so you mean I can shop there now?

Lindsey:

What a relief!

Craig:

I'm not going to tell you where to shop, but I would love to share more with you about the gospel of Jesus Christ.

Lindsey:

Share away. You just made my day. Safeway is so much closer than Walgreen's, but I've been avoiding it all this time because I didn't want to support religious nutjobs.

Lindsey:

Anyway, you were saying?

Craig:

We believe that God has called a living prophet to lead the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. He leads it through revelation.

Craig:

We also believe that the Church today is the same church that Christ established while He was on the earth. God restored Christ's church to the earth again through a prophet named Joseph Smith in the year 1830.

Lindsey:

Why did the Church need restoration? What was wrong with it?

Craig:

Let me send you a page that helps to explain that.

Craig:

http://beta.mormon.org/mormonorg/v/index.jsp?vgnextoid=b4f4055b23710110VgnVCM1000003a94610aRCRD&locale=0&sourceId=39226db0580a1110VgnVCM100000176f620a____

(This URL is opening in the browser window that you opened the chat window from.)

Lindsey:

Wait, so this apostasy was going on for centuries?

Lindsey:

By 500 AD, say, there was already apostasy?

Craig:

Exactly.

Lindsey:

So why didn't God just stop it then? Why did he have to wait until 1830?

Craig:

I don't always know why God does the things He does, but I do know that He knows what is best for us. His timetable is what is best for us.

Lindsey:

Can I get a copy of his timetable at least so I can know what's best for me, Craig?

Craig:

The best way to learn what God wants for us is to ask Him through prayer and to study the scriptures He has given us.

Lindsey:

Any advice on dating?

Craig:

I can send you a page about what the leaders of the church have suggested.

Craig:

I can't find the page I am looking for. But the church does recommend not dating at an early age.

Lindsey:

What is considered an early age?

Craig:

We are asked not to date until we are at least 16.

Lindsey:

Oh, well that isn't a problem for me then. I'm much older than that.

Lindsey:

Are you still 16?

Craig:

No, I just wasn't sure of how old you were....

Craig:

For those of us that are older then teenagers....

Craig:

We have been counseled to date those that we would want to marry. People with our same standards.

Craig:

I'm sorry if I have gotten off of the purpose of this site, which is to discuss the basic doctrines of Jesus Christ's gospel, but I would love to discuss more with you about how we have a book of scripture that confirms what we learn from the Bible.

Craig:

Have you heard of the Book of Mormon?

Lindsey:

I can't tell if I want to marry someone from just one dinner. Does your Book help me decide?

Lindsey:

By the way, it's very flattering that you still thought I was a teenager.

Craig:

This Book of Mormon has helped me come to know God and Jesus Christ better and I know that it can do the same for you.

Craig:

Would you like a free copy of the Book of Mormon?

Lindsey:

Nothing is ever free. What's the catch?

Craig:

I have read the Book of Mormon, and I know it to confirm the truths that are taught in the Bible. And yes, we can send you a free copy of the Book of Mormon.

Craig:

We can either have a couple of our representatives deliver to you and share a message with you about it and the gospel of Jesus Christ, or we could just mail it to you.

Lindsey:

I expect you'll want me to pay the shipping and handling fee?

Craig:

You don't have to pay anything. It is truly free.

Craig:

We just want to share this book with everyone we can because it truly is another testament of Jesus Christ and confirms the truths we learn from the Bible.

Lindsey:

One moment, Craig...someone is at the door.

Craig:

Would you like me to send you a page where you can order your free copy of the Book of Mormon?

Lindsey:

Craig, you've been so kind, offering me a free book about your most sacred beliefs. I feel like I should offer something in return.

Craig:

You don't need to give us anything in return. I just hope that you will read the Book of Mormon and find the peace and joy I have found through living it's teachings.

Craig:

May I send you the page where you can order your free copy?

Lindsey:

All right, well can I share one of my favorite websites in return?

Craig:

Go right ahead.

Lindsey:

http://www.lemonparty.org

Lindsey:

It's my favorite baking site with lots of recipies.

Lindsey:

Take a look and tell me what you think, Craig.

Craig:

I can't do it right now because they installed a new server here today. We had some trouble with spammers.

Craig:

It doesn't let me click new internet addresses, but I will do it later when I get home.

Lindsey:

Well, I hope you and your whole family can enjoy it.

Craig:

I'm sure we will. Let me send you that page I was talking about.

Lindsey:

No problem at all.

Craig:

http://beta.mormon.org/mormonorg/v/index.jsp?vgnextoid=4765055b23710110VgnVCM1000003a94610aRCRD&locale=0&sourceId=cb046db0580a1110VgnVCM100000176f620a____

(This URL is opening in the browser window that you opened the chat window from.)

Craig:

Did that page pop up?

Lindsey:

Yes, it did. Thanks a million, Craig. Take care now.

Craig:

Have a wonderful evening also!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8081707)





Date: May 8th, 2007 12:04 AM
Author: there\'s a wocket in my pocket

roflcopter for sure. I want to know about this "new server."

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8081758)





Date: May 8th, 2007 12:06 AM
Author: MrJackson

I like that he won't realize you were flame until he goes home and checks out the website.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8081779)





Date: May 8th, 2007 12:11 AM
Author: sarcaschtick\'s Betrayed Mother

hopefully he will remember to check it. somehow, i doubt that will happen. we can always dream tho

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8081800)





Date: May 8th, 2007 12:47 PM
Author: Poontonimous (http://www.hidebehind.com/2B9081)

That means it's not a missionary. Missionaries can't go home and fuck around on the internet.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8083976)





Date: May 9th, 2007 10:54 PM
Author: sarcaschtick\'s Betrayed Mother

they're not missionaries.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8093503)





Date: May 8th, 2007 12:13 AM
Author: :;;;;.............,.,.,.,..,,,,,,,,,,,..,.,.,.,.,. (<Party of Five>)


Still hilarious.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8081813)





Date: May 8th, 2007 11:51 AM
Author: MrJackson

How about a sticky for this thread?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8083642)





Date: May 9th, 2007 8:23 PM
Author: dannieb

*snob* I guess this thread is now dead *tears*

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8092768)





Date: May 9th, 2007 8:41 PM
Author: %^&$^*$%^

:'(

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8092842)





Date: May 9th, 2007 9:13 PM
Author: nirvanayoda



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8093000)





Date: May 9th, 2007 10:37 PM
Author: dannieb

did you laugh? and then fat chicks gave you dirty looks?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8093435)





Date: May 9th, 2007 11:01 PM
Author: womanontop

titcr

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8093554)





Date: May 9th, 2007 10:48 PM
Author: .................,............,...........,.......


Note: It seemed like there was a delay between what I said and when she received it. I think that's maybe why I wasn't booted for so long (also, adding the race factor probably makes them walk on egg shells). Anyways, I switched between "black" talk and "civilized" talk just to amuse myself. Enjoy

JUDD TYLER:

Hello how may i help you?

Tyrone:

hey judd

Tyrone:

is it possible to has a black missionary come to my crib? i personally is not racist at all, but i feelz slightly uncomfortable in the past on two different occasions when white missionaries came to my crib.

JUDD TYLER:

hi

Tyrone:

it's almost like they didn't think i was sincere

Tyrone:

does that make sense?

JUDD TYLER:

what can i do for you?

JUDD TYLER:

Sorry we just have no way of knowing which missionaries come.

Tyrone:

okay

JUDD TYLER:

They should have thought that you were sincere. Im sorry about that.

Tyrone:

my whole life people have told me i'm not prestigious and how my URM (under represented minority) status is the only reason why i got into law school (harvard woot woot). i know it's not like a school admissions process to be accepted in the church, but it feels that way. you know what im sayin, babs?

JUDD TYLER:

No

Tyrone:

sorry, people tell me i cant speak good english. but i can rap

JUDD TYLER:

How long have you been meeting with the missionaries?

Tyrone:

it's hard for me to get all my thoughts down in writing...probably has something to do why i got a 155 on the lsat

Tyrone:

i met with two missionaries

Tyrone:

about 2 weeks ago, and then about a year before that i met with a good friend of mine who was going on his own mission

but decided to spend some time with me and help me when my questions

JUDD TYLER:

Do you have any questions about the basic beliefs of our church?

Tyrone:

not really. i understand stuff pretty well despite the fact i'm a URM, but my main issue is race. do you have any brothers i could speak with? i wanna ax/ask them some questions

Tyrone:

not trying to be rude, but i think they could better understand

JUDD TYLER:

did they teach you about Joesph

Tyrone:

yes, they told me much about him

JUDD TYLER:

Joseph Smith?

Tyrone:

but my non-LDS friends told me that he was racist, but i have never seen that in his writings

JUDD TYLER:

Do you know anything about Joseph Smith?

Tyrone:

yes, i said just that. are you not listening to me? this is how it was with those missionaries. please treat me like you would any of your own kind.

Tyrone:

i have also read the book of mormon

JUDD TYLER:

Talking about race is beyond the scope of this website.

Tyrone:

ok, so i can't find someone here to speak to, the missionaries have preconceived notions about me

Tyrone:

so basically blacks are not welcome

JUDD TYLER:

Do you have a Book of Mormon?

Tyrone:

yes

JUDD TYLER:

Great. Have you read it and prayed to God to know if it is true?

Tyrone:

yes, i have cried

Tyrone:

*tried. sorry, was freudian slip cause i beez thinkin about my lsat.

JUDD TYLER:

Have you prayed and asked God if it is true?

JUDD TYLER:

Sorry about that. You can visit the nearest church and try to meet with some other missionaries

Tyrone:

is you a real person or just a robot? you seem to beez anwswering my questions out of order.

JUDD TYLER:

Sorry about that, I am going to send you a page with a scripture that might help

Tyrone:

ok

JUDD TYLER:

http://scriptures.lds.org/en/search?search=Galatians+3%3A22&do=Search

(This URL is opening in the browser window that you opened the chat window from.)

JUDD TYLER:

The important thing for you to do is to find out if the Book of Mormon is true. If it is true, then Joseph Smith is a prophet of God

JUDD TYLER:

If he is a prophet of God, then this church is the true church of Christ on the earth

Tyrone:

i seez. i get what you is saying (despite 155 status).

Tyrone:

Has Joseph Smith spoken to you?

JUDD TYLER:

Yes, through his writings I have been able to hear his voice and the voice of God.

Tyrone: Does he ask you to aw skeet skeet ?

JUDD TYLER:

I don't understand.

Tyrone: I can hear him speak to me, but he's always so damn loud. He be like "TOUCH YOSELFFFF AWWW SKEET SKEET" and then he be like "LEMME HEAR YA SAY YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"

** BANNED

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8093478)





Date: May 9th, 2007 11:02 PM
Author: dannieb

just using the name Tyrone is prestigious

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8093560)





Date: May 9th, 2007 11:23 PM
Author: iLOVEanal

178. fucking hilarioussssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss

best part was "harvard woot woot"

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8093718)





Date: July 27th, 2007 1:17 AM
Author: analthendump (in ur correge, kirrin ur kidzzzz)

ty

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8440173)





Date: May 9th, 2007 10:59 PM
Author: Jay Sherman (now with more DRAGON WAR)

Mark:

How may I help you?

Darkwing Duck:

I am the terror that flaps in the night

BANNED

Hey, I never said I was a good flame artist.

Can you not cut and past anymore? Ctrl + A isn't working for me

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8093538)





Date: May 25th, 2007 8:55 PM
Author: RAM TOUGH

LOL, for some inexplicable reason this one made me laugh out loud.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8169875)





Date: May 10th, 2007 5:55 PM
Author: Niggers Have a 180 on the COCKSAT

Thank you for taking the time to chat with us and for your interest in the Church. Please know that you are welcome to worship with us any time, request a visit from Mormon missionaries, order a Book of Mormon, or continue to browse our Web site to learn more answers to life's greatest questions.

Close this window

Caleb:

Hi, are you there Jane?

Jane:

Here I am, Caleb.

Jane:

Could you help me find something on your site?

Caleb:

How may I help you?

Caleb:

Sure, what are you looking for?

Jane:

I have a coupon for a free t-shirt from the church and I was wondering where I would go to order it.

Caleb:

I'm not sure what you mean, our church does not give out free t-shirts from what I understand.

Caleb:

The purpose of this website is to help people understand the basic truths of our church.

Jane:

I have a coupon here that say that it does. This is the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, right?

Caleb:

This is that church, but we have never given out free t-shirts. I don't think we even have t-shirts made by the church.

Jane:

One of my girlfriends had a shirt from the church. It was really cool, so I wanted to get one.

Jane:

I even bought an overpriced smoothie just so I could get the coupon.

Caleb:

Did the coupon say go to mormon.org?

Jane:

Yes, it says, "To order your FREE t-shirt from The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, please visit http://www.moron.org"

Caleb:

Sorry Jane, but I think the website you have is the wrong one. Yours is moron.org On this site we talk about the basic doctrines of Jesus Christ.

Caleb:

Do you have any questions about Joseph Smith and the Book of Mormon?

Jane:

I thought that was just a spelling mistake. I get the two confused all the time.

Jane:

Yes, I do.

Caleb:

Go ahead.

Jane:

First of all, is Joseph Smith the guy giving this free t-shirt?

Caleb:

Jane, any serious questions?

Jane:

That was a serious question. But if you don't want to answer it, I do have another.

Caleb:

Jane, we believe that Joseph Smith is a prophet of God. He was called to restore the gospel of Jesus Christ. That is what we know to be true.

Jane:

That is a really good idea. It reminds me of something my father once told, "When the sun rises in the west, and the flowers fall in the north, then will you know the voice of God is in your mind."

Caleb:

What a nice poem.

Jane:

Yeah see the sun doesn't rise in the west.

Jane:

So it's saying that only idiots believe in Jesus...lolercaust!

Caleb:

Jane, thanks for your time. If you have any further questions, you can go to mormon.org. That site will be able to help you out.

Seems he didn't want to talk to me. What follows is my tribute to the worst schtick every played on this board.

Thank you for taking the time to chat with us and for your interest in the Church. Please know that you are welcome to worship with us any time, request a visit from Mormon missionaries, order a Book of Mormon, or continue to browse our Web site to learn more answers to life's greatest questions.

Close this window

JONATHAN KENT:

Hello, how may i help you?

Jane:

Hi Jonny

Jane:

Do you mind if I ask you a deeply personal question?

JONATHAN KENT:

sure

Jane:

Tell me in one word what feeling you have when you read the Book of Mormon?

JONATHAN KENT:

Peace.

Jane:

Uh huh, and what about truth?

JONATHAN KENT:

What do you mean by truth?

Jane:

I mean, does the word "truth" come into your head when you read The Book of Mormon?

JONATHAN KENT:

When I read the Book of Moromon, I feel it is true. I get a greater sense of that by the feeling of peace that comes to me when reading it.

Jane:

So you feel truth?

JONATHAN KENT:

Yes that is accompanied by peace.

Jane:

You really think peace and truth go together?

JONATHAN KENT:

Yes, the feeling of peace helps me to know that it is true.

JONATHAN KENT:

Have you read the Book of Mormon?

Jane:

I can't read.

Jane:

We are only chatting because my son can and he types for me.

Jane:

A boy's best friend is his mother.

JONATHAN KENT:

Have you had the opportunity to read any of it on the lds.org website.

JONATHAN KENT:

Here is a web page.

JONATHAN KENT:

http://www.lds.org/mp3/display/0,18692,5297-41,00.html

(This URL is opening in the browser window that you opened the chat window from.)

Jane:

I just said I can't read.

JONATHAN KENT:

Im sorry, this is the audio format.

Jane:

Oh, that's very nice. It's in audio!

Jane:

Is it read in a soothing voice? I can't stand it when audiobooks are read by people with bad voices.

JONATHAN KENT:

Have you ever had any contact with the church?

Jane:

I haven't had contact with any human being in years. It's just me and my son, running this motel together.

JONATHAN KENT:

Would you like some representatives of our church to come by and talk about the Book of Mormon with you?

Jane:

We are very open to visitors. Just the other day, there was nice young woman who stopped her and shared lunch with Norman (that's my son).

JONATHAN KENT:

Alright, if you would go to the Mormon.org web page that you can use to request these representatives.

JONATHAN KENT:

http://www.mormon.org/mormonorg/v/index.jsp?vgnextoid=57b29c3a68a50110VgnVCM1000003a94610aRCRD&locale=0

(This URL is opening in the browser window that you opened the chat window from.)

Jane:

Could I request that they bring violins as well? I love music and it is so soothing.

JONATHAN KENT:

They won't be able to bring violins when they visit you.

Jane:

Why not?

JONATHAN KENT:

Missionaries are called to teach everyone who is willing the gospel of Jesus Christ.

Jane:

And how does a violin interfere with that?

JONATHAN KENT:

Well missionaries dont carry any musical instruments with them even if they could play them.

Jane:

Jon, what kind of philistines don't carry musical instruments with them? And what do you mean 'if' they could play them? Doesn't everyone learn the violin/

JONATHAN KENT:

I'm sorry that is all i can do for you. If you would still like representatives to visit you you can request them with the following page.

JONATHAN KENT:

http://www.mormon.org/mormonorg/v/index.jsp?vgnextoid=57b29c3a68a50110VgnVCM1000003a94610aRCRD&locale=0

(This URL is opening in the browser window that you opened the chat window from.)

Jane:

Could your representative at least eat out my pussy in the shower?

And then I was banned.

Thank you for taking the time to chat with us and for your interest in the Church. Please know that you are welcome to worship with us any time, request a visit from Mormon missionaries, order a Book of Mormon, or continue to browse our Web site to learn more answers to life's greatest questions.

Faith M:

Hello how may I help you?

Jane:

Hi Faith!

Jane:

Oh, you have such a pretty name.

Faith M:

Thank you.

Jane:

Faith, I just recently received a copy of the Book of Mormon.

Jane:

And I had some questions.

Faith M:

Wonderful.

Faith M:

How can I help?

Jane:

My first question was about God's plan. From what I've read in the Book of Mormon, it seems like God is always there for us, even when we forget him. Even as they were warring in America, the Lamanites and Nephites were never far from God's mind, were they?

Faith M:

I do not believe so, he is our father and loves us greatly.

Jane:

But does God have a plan for little old me? I am just poor, helpless creature and very frail.

Faith M:

Oh yes!

Jane:

God knows me?

Faith M:

Jane God knows us individually and he knows what we are cabable of, he wants us to be happy and one day return to live with him.

Jane:

O RLY?

Faith M:

Do you believe in God?

Jane:

Yes, I do. But I just seem so insignificant. My father used to say that God was a watchmaker who designed the universe, then just let it go. In my head, it sounds plausible, but in my heart, I just feel that there is a God who cares about me.

Faith M:

Jane do you have children?

Jane:

Only one daughter. I lost her during the birth.

Jane:

Well, it was more like a partial birth.

Faith M:

I am sorry to hear that. That must have been hard. The reason I ask is because usually a parent is very aware of his or her children, and this analogy can help us understand how God knows us.

Jane:

I see what you mean.

Faith M:

My mom had nine children. I am in the middle, yet she always knew me. She knew what I was good at and what I struggled with.

Jane:

There were five in my family as well and I was number 4. You came from a very large family!

Faith M:

yes I did.

Jane:

Your siblings all turned out all right?

Faith M:

I guess that depends on what you mean by right. We all love God, love each other and are trying to follow Christ. None of us is perfect.

Jane:

Clearly.

Faith M:

I know this is only because my parents worked so hard to teach us about Christ. and to have a personal relationship with him.

Faith M:

In the scriptures it says we are God's children. One of these scriptures is in Romans 8:16. I will send it to you.

Faith M:

http://scriptures.lds.org/en/rom/8

(This URL is opening in the browser window that you opened the chat window from.)

Jane:

Faith, the link you sent me isn't working. My antivirus blocker is stopping it for some reason.

Jane:

Please don't say that you're pulling a prank on me.

Faith M:

I am sorry it did not work.

Faith M:

I will quote it for yo uin the text of my message.

Faith M:

16 The Spirit itself beareth awitness with our bspirit, that we are the cchildren of God: 17 And if children, then heirs; aheirs of God, and joint-heirs with Christ; if so be that we bsuffer with him, that we may be also glorified together.

Faith M:

Sorry I had some typo's there with the double letters.

Jane:

That's all right, Faith. I could read it. I'm not retarded, although my youngest brother is. He's playing down by the creek now.

Faith M:

If you have a bible you can open there with me.

Jane:

Let me fetch mine.

Faith M:

The book of Mormon also talks about the importance of teaching our children to turn to Christ.

Faith M:

In 2 Nephi Chapter 25 verse 26 it reads:

Jane:

Oh this is a beautiful verse, yes.

Faith M:

And we talk of Christ, we rejoice in Christ, we preach of Christ, we prophesy of Christ, and we write according to our prophecies, that our children may know to what source they may look for a remission of their sins.

Jane:

That brings me some comfort. Not much, but some.

Faith M:

Jane God does know you. He loves you and each of us have a part to play, small or large that is equal in his site. Have you prayed to ask him if he knows you?

Jane:

I prayed yesterday, but in the middle, I just started crying. It hurt so much.

Faith M:

Why do you think it hurt?

Jane:

I don't know. It was like opening a door that had been shut for a long time. Also my knees get itchy.

Faith M:

That makes sense. I have felt that way before too.

Faith M:

Sometimes we carry such heavy burdens and when we talk to our Father we feel them on us and the heartache comes to the surface.

Faith M:

I know Jane that when we have faith, Christ can take the burdens from us.

Jane:

Can he really? It feels like it hurts more when I pray than when I eat ice cream.

Faith M:

I understand completely.

Faith M:

Have you ever had a splinter?

Jane:

I sat on a piece of wood once and it splintered.

Jane:

Well, it wasn't actually wood, it was my boyfriend. But same thing.

Faith M:

Sometimes it feels better to leave it alone, and let it burry itself then to dig it out, but the healing only comes when it is gone.

Jane:

I've often had things buried inside me which I just wanted to stay there. It just pops out in the night and buries itself in me. Feels painful at first, but once I let it in and just nurse the pain tenderly, I feel better.

Faith M:

You can't keep it in forever though can you?

Jane:

No, I guess not. It explodes eventually.

Faith M:

yes

Faith M:

Have you been speaking to missionaries?

Jane:

I want to, but I don't know if I should.

Faith M:

Do you want to come closer unto Chrsit?

Jane:

I do want to come closer, yes.

Jane:

And harder.

Jane:

But I don't know if I will have the strength.

Faith M:

Jane I do not know all the answers about what should or should not be left alone, or burried. I do know, however, that if there is pain, or sin, or any other ailment, that Christ can make it better.

Faith M:

What have you to lose?

Jane:

I guess only my pride.

Jane:

Certainly not my virginity.

Faith M:

That is the best thing to lose I think. I wish I had gotten rid of all of mine.

Jane:

lolz...I hope you meant the pride.

Faith M:

Yes Jane.

Faith M:

Jane God wants to heal you; to hold you, and love you.

Faith M:

Let him.

Jane:

All right. How can I contact the missionaries?

Faith M:

Where you you live?

Faith M:

sorry

Faith M:

Where do you live?

Jane:

New Haven, Connecticut.

Faith M:

Wonderful, if you go to mormon.org

Faith M:

and click on "Ask a question"

Jane:

Actually, I'd much rather live in Cambridge. But my husband insists on USNWR.

Jane:

He mentors some Persian girl in the evenings. Irawany I think.

Faith M:

there is a link to set up an appointment with the missionaries.

Jane:

I will do exactly that now.

Faith M:

It was my pleasure. Vist with the missionaries, they will teach you the truth. I know that our father will do anything to help us find happiness and come unto him. God Bless.

Jane:

Could the missionaries suck my pussy too? I haven't had a real man down there in so long.

Faith M:

Have a great day.

Well, I suppose I'll just have to ask the missionaries.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8097706)





Date: May 10th, 2007 6:03 PM
Author: nirvanayoda



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8097733)





Date: May 10th, 2007 6:03 PM
Author: imadirtywhore

hilarious!! 180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8097735)





Date: May 10th, 2007 7:58 PM
Author: @323##322

seconded!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8098362)





Date: May 10th, 2007 8:25 PM
Author: dannieb

I liked the violin part the best. excellent!!!!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8098533)





Date: May 10th, 2007 6:27 PM
Author: imadirtywhore

Justin:

Hi

Amanda:

Hello, this is Amanda. How may I help you?

Amanda:

Do you have any questions you'd like to ask?

Justin:

Hi. I have a question about if there any restrictions on mentally ill people speaking with missionaries?

Justin:

I have been battling schizophrenia for quite some time now

Justin:

and I am on medication

Justin:

I did not feel that my local catholic church was very receptive to me and i was wondering if your Church had any issues with that

Amanda:

Yes, we can get missionaries to you regardless of any mental illnesses

Justin:

okay that is good to know. also, past sins can be absolved, correct?

Justin:

i want to start with a clean slate, you know?

Amanda:

Yes, we can have missionaries in your area explain how that can be possible

Justin:

omfg, how do you know what area I live in!!? **looks out window**

Amanda:

Through repentence and baptism, we can have a clean slate

Justin:

i see

Amanda:

no, but we have missionaries all over the world

Justin:

oh ok, i thought you meant you know where i live. and that kind of thing creeps me out. i'm mentally ill, remember?

Justin:

sorry

Amanda:

Oh no, all I know is your first name. If you are really interested, we give your information to some in your area. I didn't mean to scare you. I can relate.

Justin:

wait, you're crazy too? lollerskates what a small world

Justin:

i'd rather meet in a neutral area

Amanda:

where do you live?

Justin:

philadelphia

Justin:

right next to university of pennsylvania's law school. it's pretty TTT, but the missionaries could meet me there

Justin:

a nice neutral place with sub-par student quality.

Amanda:

Which ever you would prefer

Justin:

ok

Justin:

i have one more question

Amanda:

That can be arranged - if we give them your information, they can call and make arrangements

Justin:

i am approaching the age of 50, and i never knew the Church of LDS when I was growing up. I have done many things including going to a non t14 school, having sex before marriage, drugs, and other such things. Will I have to discuss my past sins such as these with the missionaries?

Justin:

I feel like a URM when people judge me. It hurts to be judged

Amanda:

We can make arrangements by giving them your phone number and they will call you to set the appointment.

Justin:

AW SKEET SKEET gotta take my meds

Amanda:

The gospel is about changing and receiving forgiveness.

Justin:

do you think julia stiles and kirsten dunst equals the worst TTT 3some in history?

Justin:

i would like to discuss that with you

Amanda:

We're not about digging into a person's past - we're about improving their future

Justin:

hey amanda

Justin:

my meds are not kicking in

Justin:

i'm going to be an asshole now

Justin:

sorry

Amanda:

Could you give me your phone number so the missionaries can contact you?

Justin:

1-800-ANALSEX

Justin:

why have not banned me yet?

Justin:

is it because you feel sorry for my mentally ill ass?

Justin:

btw, dale earnhardt is a poor hick

Amanda:

Hey when your feeling better, let us know and we'll try and help you

Amanda:

have a good day

**BANNED

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8097848)





Date: May 10th, 2007 7:59 PM
Author: Niggers Have a 180 on the COCKSAT

180. This is good shit, love the schizo angle!!!!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8098367)





Date: May 10th, 2007 8:01 PM
Author: @323##322

Amanda:

Could you give me your phone number so the missionaries can contact you?

180

p.s. You all realize the potential for mayhem here, right?



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8098383)





Date: May 10th, 2007 8:31 PM
Author: dannieb

A+ for originality

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8098557)





Date: May 10th, 2007 7:31 PM
Author: Niggers Have a 180 on the COCKSAT

Thank you for taking the time to chat with us and for your interest in the Church. Please know that you are welcome to worship with us any time, request a visit from Mormon missionaries, order a Book of Mormon, or continue to browse our Web site to learn more answers to life's greatest questions.

Close this window

John:

How may I help you today?

Yochebel:

Hello! I was wondering what the missionary position on Iraq was.

John:

Let me transfer you to another computer really quick. sorry.

John:

Has transferred you to:

Jessica:

Hello this is Jessica thanks for contacting the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. Can I help you?

Yochebel:

Hello there, Jessica. I was transferred to you from John.

Jessica:

Okay, is there a question I can answer for you?

Yochebel:

There certainly is. Jessica, honey, can you tell me what the missionary position on Iraq is?

Jessica:

The church has not issued a stance on this issue.

Yochebel:

I see. Darling, are Mormons allowed to serve in the military? Or are you pacifists like the Quakers?

Jessica:

Yes. Members of the Church do serve in the military.

Yochebel:

Do they serve in a combatant role as well, sweetie? Or can Mormons appeal to conscientious objection?

Jessica:

Yes they serve in combatant roles. There is no difference between an LDS military person and one who is not of our faith in the roles they participate in while serving in the military.

Yochebel:

Sugar, does your church have a worldwide reach?

Jessica:

Definitely. Currently there are more Latter-Day Saints outside of the United States then there are within. We believe that the gospel will be taught to every nation and every person in their native language.

Yochebel:

What happens when two Mormons are on opposite sides of the same war? That doesn't seem like something my honey-poo would like.

Jessica:

They are each fighting to defend their freedom, their homes and their families.

Yochebel:

So both sides are right? What about Germans who were drafted during the Second World War, and were just defending their families, but at the same time, by not immediately surrendering, prolonged the Holocaust?

Jessica:

Yochebel, I don't have the answers to these questions. They are outside the scope of our purpose. If you are interested I would love to have missionaries from our Church come over and tell you about our basic beliefs.

Yochebel:

Would these missionaries be able to explain why Mormons fighting on both sides of a war are correct?

Jessica:

No, what the missionaries would do is explain to you the nature of God. The purpose of life and the gospel of Jesus Christ. Then you would be able to find out the answers for yourself.

Yochebel:

Wait, the missionaries understand God, but not something like a war here on Earth? They can tell me the meaning of life, but not why two people who kill each other are both correct?

Jessica:

I don't have the answer to this one question, but would you still be interested in learning more about the church?

Yochebel:

Does the church have answers to this question? I'd be interested to learn about that.

Jessica:

Like I said, the church doesn't have a stance on the war in Iraq or this specific question. However, we can teach you about the gospel of Jesus Christ.

Yochebel:

I'd be very interested to hear your generalized description of humanity, then, even if you can't tell me specifics.

Jessica:

I don't know what answer you are looking for and don't know exactly how I can help you.

Yochebel:

Then why are you taking questions?

Jessica:

We are just here to help people learn the basic beliefs and doctrines of our Church.

Yochebel:

And you do not cover wars in your basic beliefs and doctrines?

Jessica:

No.

Yochebel:

Are wars not important enough for the church?

Jessica:

http://scriptures.lds.org/en/a_of_f/1

(This URL is opening in the browser window that you opened the chat window from.)

Jessica:

Here is a copy of our basic beliefs.

Jessica:

The church does not have a specific stance on wars, so we don't teach anything about wars. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion on it, whatever they feel is best.

Yochebel:

Isn't that just the moral relativism that the postmodern atheists preach, though?

Jessica:

Yochebel, I'm sorry I cannot help you today. I hope you have a good day and find answers to your questions.

Yochebel:

Actually, you could help me with one thing more.

Jessica:

Okay

Yochebel:

You seem so convicted and yet a lot of this (don't take this the wrong way) is flimsy. How do you know any of this true?

Jessica:

I know that this church is true because I have felt it through the power of the Holy Ghost, the spirit of the Lord. I have read the Book of Mormon and I know that it is the word of God, another testament of Jesus Christ. I know that there are prophets

Jessica:

on the earth today, and Joseph Smith was the prophet called by God to restore the Gospel of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints

Jessica:

Yochebel, a lot of times we can't prove everything and you have to go by faith. That is what my testimony and a lot of things are based off of, and that is how I gained my testimony and now i know these things to be true

Yochebel:

I think it is so beautiful that you have faith, Jessiepie. I really wish I could have it too. How can I believe like you? Do I have to take something? I really want to know. I struggle a lot with doubt. You know what I mean, kitty?

Jessica:

You can know that these things are true too. In the Book of Mormon there is a scripture that tells us how we can know that these things are true. I invite you to think about what this scripture says and act on this scripture, so you can know too

Jessica:

http://scriptures.lds.org/en/search?search=moroni+10%3A3-5&do=Search

(This URL is opening in the browser window that you opened the chat window from.)

Yochebel:

All right. Can I back and talk to you later, baby?

Jessica:

No, but can I send some missionaries to come over and talk to you?

Yochebel:

Wow, that was harsh Jess.

Jessica:

I'm sorry if you feel that way.

Yochebel:

Sure, send your missionaries.

Jessica:

Okay, we will need your contact information. Name, address, and phone number so the missionaries can contact you

Yochebel:

All right.

Yochebel:

Yochebel Iylyserkggzcyqzailhcsaftuwmbvich

Yochebel:

180 Prestige Hall

Yochebel:

Cambridge, Massachusetts 02138

Yochebel:

My cell is 212-867-5309.

Yochebel:

Did you get that, Jess?

Jessica:

Okay, I have your information. Thank you so much for contacting us today. The missionaries will be contacting you soon. It was great talking with you, I hope you receive the answers you are looking for and find the truth in the gospel.

Yochebel:

One more thing, coochie?

Jessica:

No problem, Yochebel.

Yochebel:

I feel we really have some chemistry going on here. Would you be interested in contacting me personally?

Jessica:

Have a great day.

Banned. I think she likes me.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8098206)





Date: May 10th, 2007 8:04 PM
Author: WhatNow? (I remember I was hammering on a fence in the backyard when Dad a)

Yochebel:

180 Prestige Hall

Yochebel:

Cambridge, Massachusetts 02138

Yochebel:

My cell is 212-867-5309.

:rofl:

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8098399)





Date: May 10th, 2007 8:34 PM
Author: dannieb

whose cell?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8098575)





Date: May 10th, 2007 8:36 PM
Author: nirvanayoda



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8098578)





Date: May 10th, 2007 8:06 PM
Author: @323##322

Jessica:

Okay, we will need your contact information. Name, address, and phone number so the missionaries can contact you...

Okay, who do we want LDSpwned, guys?



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8098405)





Date: May 10th, 2007 9:06 PM
Author: sarcaschtick\'s Betrayed Mother

leiter

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8098741)





Date: May 11th, 2007 5:25 AM
Author: Lucky Wang

Jill F.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8101150)





Date: May 13th, 2007 12:17 PM
Author: dannieb

In honor of Roundhouse *props*

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8110616)





Date: May 13th, 2007 12:30 PM
Author: Well Done Roundhouse Flame

There are two redactions towards the end of this transcript in the interests of decency. I care about good flame, but I also know not to cross the line. I think you all will undertand in light of recent events.

Otherwise, enjoy!

You are speaking live with Mike, who is a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Information provided in this session is to provide assistance only and is not an official statement of the Church.

Mike:

How can I help you?

Bradley:

Hi Mormon!

Bradley:

I was wondering about your views on the T14.

Mike:

That's outside the scope of our purpose here on mormon.org. We're here to discuss the basic principles of the church.

Bradley:

The T14 is not in the basic principles of your church?

Mike:

No.

Bradley:

Then how can you call yourselves a Christian denomination?

Mike:

What is the T14 exactly?

Bradley:

Your position on the nature of God. T = Trinity, 1 = Unitary, 4 = Corporeal Being.

Bradley:

I know, for example, that the Catholics are in the T school, while the Jehovah's Witnesses are in the 1 school.

Mike:

Sorry, I'd never heard of that before.

Bradley:

My apologies, I thought this was common parlance in theological circles.

Mike:

We believe in God the eternal father and in His son Jesus Christ, and in the Holy Ghost.

Bradley:

And how are they related to one another? That's really my question. I don't think many Christians deny that Christ and the Holy Ghost exist.

Mike:

The Father has a body of flesh and bones as tangible as man's; the Son also; but the Holy Ghost has not a body of flesh and bones but is a personage of Spirit. Were it not so, the Holy Ghost could not dwell in us.

Bradley:

I see. So it's sort of a mix of the T and 4 schools?

Mike:

I guess you could say that.

Mike:

They are three separate beings, but one in purpose.

Bradley:

Ah, that clarifies things. Would you call them a trinity?

Mike:

We don't usually use that term, but yes, they are the three who rule the universe.

Bradley:

Very interesting. Speaking of the Trinity, do you believe YHS is superior to CCN?

Mike:

What do those mean?

Bradley:

Oh, sorry, I just always think in acronyms.

Bradley:

YHS = Yahweh, Holy Ghost (Spirit), Christ are in control

Bradley:

CCN = Creation, Calvary, New Jerusalem is in control

Mike:

I guess I don't really know what either of those are. Are they specific doctrines?

Bradley:

Basically, did God ordain the Plan of Salvation? Or did the Fall of Man ordain the Plan?

Mike:

We definitely teach that God ordained the plan of salvation.

Bradley:

So YHS > CCN?

Mike:

The fall of man was a part of that plan.

Mike:

If that means what I just said, then yes.

Bradley:

It certainly rings true.

Mike:

You can read about that in 2 Nephi chapter 2.

Mike:

In the Book of Mormon.

Mike:

Have you ever read the Book of Mormon?

Bradley:

I'm starting to.

Mike:

That's great!

Bradley:

Is your religion TTT (Temperance, Testimony, Tithe)?

Mike:

That's really the way that you'll be able to know if this church is run by Jesus Christ or by man.

Mike:

I guess so. We don't drink, we believe that every person needs to have their own witness or testimony that the church is of Christ, and we pay tithing.

Bradley:

I've always preferred the TTT religions. They are very wholesome, it seems. Cling to traditional values.

Bradley:

Or, as I like to say, TTTradiTTTional values.

Mike:

Haha. That's true. Those traditional values are based on the scriptures, which come from God.

Bradley:

I find the Book of Mormon fascinating, I must tell you.

Mike:

Our religion is also based on scriptures and revelation from God, both ancient and modern.

Mike:

God speaks to the president of the church today.

Mike:

That's great. For me, I know that it's the word of God.

Mike:

When I read it, I find peace and answers to questions that I have.

Mike:

It helps me get through hard times.

Bradley:

I do as well, which is why I wanted to ask these questions and find out more about your religion. My only trouble is that sometimes it's really hard to read the book.

Mike:

Why is that?

Bradley:

See, I work as a train conductor. Everything here is about efficiency. That's why I use acronyms so much--everything is easier to remember, you see?

Mike:

Sure.

Bradley:

But the Book of Mormon is really hard to get through. Some of the language is really dense and I have to take my time.

Bradley:

That can be relaxing, but to me, it is also sometimes frustrating.

Mike:

I can understand that.

Mike:

I think that it's written that way in some part so that we can get different meanings from the same words.

Mike:

We can apply the same passage to many different situations.

Mike:

That's how it's been for me.

Bradley:

Wow, you sound like a gunner.

Mike:

What does that mean?

Bradley:

That's train conductor slang for someone who can adapt enthusiastically to different situations.

Mike:

Oh. Well thank you!

Bradley:

NPAA

Bradley:

= No problem at all :)

Mike:

Great.

Mike:

Are you meeting with missionaries now?

Bradley:

I was hoping I could. I met with two and learned about CGWBT

Mike:

I'm guessing that's something good. If you get me your address, I can send missionaries out to visit with you.

Bradley:

Oh, right. CGWBT = Christ, Golden Plates, Baptism, Words of Wisdom, and the Temple.

Mike:

I can also look and see if there is a church near you that you could attend today.

Bradley:

I haven't learned it all, but I find it very interesting. And you Mormons are so nice!

Mike:

Sounds like a good discussion.

Bradley:

The CGWBT model really works, I think.

Mike:

We try to live like Jesus who loved everyone.

Bradley:

It certainly shows.

Bradley:

I'm all over the place nationally, thanks to my job. But I'm staying in Texas for about two weeks. Would that be enough time to meet the missionaries?

Mike:

Yes, it would.

Mike:

I can send them an email and explain your situation.

Mike:

I could also give you the mission office number to call so that you could explain your situation and have them visit with you.

Mike:

I'll do both.

Mike:

What is your address there?

Bradley:

That would be great. I'm staying with my friend Brian right now (we went to high school together).

Bradley:

727 E. Dean Keeton Street

Bradley:

Austin, Texas 78705\

Bradley:

Should I give you Brian's number as well?

Mike:

Yeah, that would be great.

Bradley:

(512) 232-1319

Mike:

Great. Let me find you the number to call.

Bradley:

I appreciate that so much.

Mike:

210-349-3268

Bradley:

All right, I wrote that down. Mike, before I go, could I teach you one more acronym?

Mike:

Sure.

Bradley:

WGWAG

Bradley:

= With God We Achieve Grace. Would you say that with me, Mike? WGWAG

Mike:

WGWAG

Bradley:

Isn't that a wonderful message?

Bradley:

It's what I thought of the first time I read the Book of Mormon.

Mike:

Yes, it is. It's true.

Bradley:

Thank you so much for your time, Mike. I look forward to meeting the missionaries.

Mike:

Great. I'll send that email but give them a call as well. That will make sure they get to you in the two weeks.

Bradley:

I'll call them right after this. Take care, Mike, God bless, and remember, WGWAG!

Mike:

Will do! Oh, they won't be there today. It's an office that's open M-F

Mike:

9-5.

Bradley:

Oh, all right, I'll call them tomorrow then. I'm so happy to finally find a TTT religion; it really feels like a restoration of truth in my life.

Mike:

That's what our message is. The truth is back on earth.

Bradley:

And after that, HTH right?

Bradley:

HTH = Home To Heaven!

Mike:

I actually guessed that one!

Bradley:

Wow, you're getting good at this! We could use you down at the tracks!

Mike:

Haha. That would be fun.

Bradley:

You take care, Mike. WGWAG

Mike:

WGWAG.

Mike:

Oh, what was your last name?

Bradley:

Bradley Fertik.

Mike:

Great. Just wanted the missionaries to have your full name to get in touch with you.

Bradley:

You mind if I give you a nickname before I go?

Mike:

Sure.

Bradley:

MC

Bradley:

Mike Church, in honor of you, Mike, showing the path to the true church, which I really do believe this is now.

Mike:

Thank you.

Bradley:

Through the power of Jesus Christ, of course.

Mike:

Wonderful. I know that this is the true church as well. Let me know if you get baptized. You can call me at [redacted] or on my home phone [redacted].

Bradley:

Will do, Mike. Will do! I look forward to learning more about CGWBT, the TTT, keeping in mind of course that WGWAG! Amen?

Mike:

Amen.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8110638)





Date: May 13th, 2007 12:44 PM
Author: Xenn

___ _____ _____

|_ | / _ \ / _ \

| | | |_| | | | | |

| | } _ { | |/| |

| | | |_| | | |_| |

|_| \_____/ \_____/

180, seriously.

And it's good that you redacted those numbers, though I'm sure the sick fucks on here would enjoy harassing/killing someone IRL over their religion.

I'm liking your new and gentler attempts, which don't end in bans, it's actually a lot more fulfilling and relaxing.

Keep up the good new work.

I hope LeiTTTer converts, hahaha. That was brilliant giving that information, Train conductor, awesome.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8110685)





Date: May 13th, 2007 1:03 PM
Author: Well Done Roundhouse Flame

Thank you. I'm glad you enjoyed it.

I prefer this approach as well. I hope Leiter finds peace with his magic book.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8110749)





Date: May 13th, 2007 1:08 PM
Author: Xenn

titcr,

the way he divines his ratings is similar to the way the prophet joseph smith divined his golden tablets into the new gospel of our Lord Jesus Christ.

Perhaps you can use Leittter the Divinator and his magic ratings in one of your future shticks.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8110763)





Date: May 13th, 2007 4:59 PM
Author: dannieb

done in the spirit of a gentleman

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8111673)





Date: May 17th, 2007 9:19 AM
Author: ....... ....... ............ ..... ........ (wayne chiang's decapitated ghost)

i laughed out loud at this. ty <3.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8129936)





Date: May 17th, 2007 1:59 PM
Author: @323##322

I agree with the redactions, too.

I wonder if Leiter will blog about this...

727 E. Dean Keeton Street

Austin, Texas 78705

180!



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8130948)





Date: May 14th, 2007 9:58 PM
Author: gobluelaw

I couldn't believe this chat lasted past my first flame. I especially love his comment at the end about Asians.

Speak With a MissionaryYou are speaking live with Tyson, who is a member of The

Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Information provided in this

session is to provide assistance only and is not an official statement of the

Church.

Tyson:

hello this is Tyson how may I help you?

Joshua:

I just had sex with a Mormon.

Tyson:

How can I help you?

Joshua:

Well, I don't know she was into it at first but now she feels all bad, what

should I do?

Tyson:

We belive that sexual relations before marrige is a sin but through Jesus Christ

we are able to repent of our sins.

Joshua:

Oh well how should I tell her to repent? She said she made a huge mistake even

though it felt good at the time. Has she already repented?

Tyson:

One of the steps of repentance is feeling sorrow for our sins but there are more

steps like talking to her church leader and doing her best to not committ the

sin again.

Joshua:

Okay, thats great! I think she is well on her way to repentence. Is there

anything I can do to help her?

Tyson:

Absolutly, you can support her by helping her avoid that situation and helping

her respect her body and as a gift from God.

Joshua:

She has said how she used to believe in WGWAG but she didn't so much after we

had sex. How do I convince her to believe in WGWAG again?

Joshua:

She used to say it was a big part of her faith.

Tyson:

I am sorry I don't know what that means.

Joshua:

Oh sorry, it means With God We Achieve Grace. She always lived her life by

WGWAG before until after our intimacy. Now she says that WGWAG might not be

fore her. Your religion seems so great though.

Joshua:

* sorry I meant "for her"

Joshua:

I may be interested in joining your Church, that is another reason I came

here.

Tyson:

The grace of Jesus Christ comes from obeying his commandments, we qualify for

his grace by sincere repentance. If she is sincere and takes the proper steps

she will receive a remission of her sins.

Joshua:

Oh that's great I will tell her this. Your Church seems wonderful.

Joshua:

Will you allow me to join if I take the proper steps?

Tyson:

As far as going to church can I send you some information about our

church?

Joshua:

Definitely.

Joshua:

I feel that if we both commit ourselves to the Church she might believe in WGWAG

again.

Tyson:

I'm going to send you some information, Thank you for interest. I invite you to

prayfully read these pages.

Joshua:

Oh this is a very super site. I'm nervous the Church won't let me join though,

I'm an Asian male, is that okay?

Tyson:

I have to go now but I know that we are all children of God and he loves all of

us. Give me a moment to send some pages if you are still interested. Don't worry we support

everyone, even Asians.

Joshua:

Yes, this is the best religion ever! May WGWAG rule the world!

Joshua:

Pray for us and that we may soon join the Church Tyson.

Tyson:

http://www.mormon.org/mormonorg/v/index.jsp?vgnextoid=8215055b23710110VgnVCM1000003a94610aRCRD&locale=0&sourceId=90e402fc53b71110VgnVCM100000176f620a____#d

(This URL is opening in the browser window that you opened the chat window

from.)

Joshua:

Also, pray for WGWAG please.

Tyson:

I will pray for you, your girlfriend, and above all, WGWAG. May you soon find the truth.

Joshua:

I know that as soon as WGWAG is again believed by my girlfriend we will be married and have all the relations we want.

Tyson:

That is great! Good Luck!



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8118219)





Date: May 14th, 2007 10:06 PM
Author: dannieb

I guess since the xoxo assault has died down they have become more tolerant of flame.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8118248)





Date: May 19th, 2007 1:45 PM
Author: adalia (watching her life pass her by)

brilliant. best use of WGWAG ever.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8140003)





Date: May 19th, 2007 1:41 PM
Author: MrJackson

Sticky!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8139991)





Date: May 20th, 2007 2:26 PM
Author: ...................,...............


I think the Mormons defeated us. We were unsuccessful in making them disable the chat... they waited us out.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8144135)





Date: May 20th, 2007 2:35 PM
Author: Always Subtracting Value

This was a stupid idea in the first place. Mormons never did anything to us. They're more clever than everyone who posted on this thread.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8144168)





Date: May 20th, 2007 2:41 PM
Author: dannieb

how was the tiny-dicked priesthood meeting today?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8144184)





Date: May 20th, 2007 2:44 PM
Author: Always Subtracting Value

I'm not a Mormon, but I admire them tremendously and this whole thread was uncalled-for. This is the sort of shit that gets this board in trouble.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8144188)





Date: May 20th, 2007 2:57 PM
Author: dannieb

uhhmm--veeerrrr.....I am telling on you!!!

Get a life you piece of shit

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8144239)





Date: May 20th, 2007 3:02 PM
Author: Always Subtracting Value

"Get a life you piece of shit"

I'm not the one harassing people.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8144250)





Date: May 20th, 2007 3:20 PM
Author: dannieb

you are harassing me, and all of the fine people posting in this thread you piece of shit. go and fuck some relief society whores.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8144321)





Date: May 20th, 2007 2:44 PM
Author: .... ...... ..... ..... ...... ..... .....

Spreading stupidity and lies is an offense against all mankind.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8144187)





Date: May 20th, 2007 2:45 PM
Author: Always Subtracting Value

Yes, but so is being a preening little douchebag.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8144190)





Date: May 20th, 2007 2:51 PM
Author: .... ...... ..... ..... ...... ..... .....

So then you agree that the Mormons did do something to us?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8144211)





Date: May 20th, 2007 3:00 PM
Author: Always Subtracting Value

No, I'm saying that your nonsensical logic would also justify liquidating this board. Obviously, I don't support that. Unlike you, I'm consistent in my beliefs.

Just because you find something obnoxious doesn't mean you have to ruin it. That's the ethic of Reputation Defender, not Xoxo.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8144247)





Date: May 20th, 2007 3:09 PM
Author: dannieb

if GTO would act like a man, then he would STICKY this thread

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8144279)





Date: May 20th, 2007 3:15 PM
Author: .... ...... ..... ..... ...... ..... .....

Wow, you make a lot of baseless assumptions and faulty analogies.

If someone finds this board objectionable I have no problem with them coming here and spamming to voice their displeasure. Of course they will get banned like our spammers get banned at the Mormon chat site.

But that's completely irrelevant... we are expressing our opinions on this site and the Mormons are telling outright lies. I can't believe you don't see the difference between expressing an unpopular opinion and members of a cult spreading objectively false bullshit in order to get people to join their cult and collect their tithe.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8144299)





Date: May 20th, 2007 3:16 PM
Author: dannieb

I say we invite some missionaries over for a talk and then take care of them Mike Tyson style....fuckers probably never saw an old school Nintendo system...

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8144309)





Date: May 22nd, 2007 6:14 PM
Author: Niggers Have a 180 on the COCKSAT

Thank you for taking the time to chat with us and for your interest in the Church. Please know that you are welcome to worship with us any time, request a visit from Mormon missionaries, order a Book of Mormon, or continue to browse our Web site to learn more answers to life's greatest questions.

Close this window

MICHAEL:

How may I help you?

*Timothy*:

HI MICAHEL

*Timothy*:

I WANT TO ASK SUM QUESTIONS.

MICHAEL:

What can I help you with?

MICHAEL:

Ok

*Timothy*:

FIRST WHY DON'T MORMONS BELIEVE IN JESUS?

MICHAEL:

We do believe in Jesus, the name of our church is the Church of JESUS CHRIST of latter day saints

*Timothy*:

YEAH BUT THAT'S NOT THE REAL JESUS IS IT? THE ONE IN THE BIBLE?

MICHAEL:

We believe Christ to be the Son of God, the savior and redeemer of the world.

MICHAEL:

We believe that through Him, we can return to our Father in Heaven.

*Timothy*:

DO YOU BELIEVE IN THE JESUS IN THE BIBLE?

MICHAEL:

We believe in the bible, we believe it to be God's word.

*Timothy*:

AND MOSES TOO?

MICHAEL:

Of course we believe in Jesus Christ, especially the one in the bible.

MICHAEL:

We believe Moses was a prophet of God.

*Timothy*:

WHY DO YOU WORSHIP MOSES THEN?

MICHAEL:

He received revelation from God, and had the priesthood, the authority to act in God's name on earth.

*Timothy*:

WHY IS MOSES ON YOUR STAMP AND NOT JESUS?

MICHAEL:

We don't worship Moses, we worship our Father in Heaven, God the Father.

*Timothy*:

MOSES?

MICHAEL:

What stamp?

*Timothy*:

THE STAMP YOU ISSUE WHEN YOU HAVE YOUR LAMB FESTIVALS AT YOUR CHURCH.

MICHAEL:

I'm not familiar with the lamb festival you are talking about. I would love to tell you that we do believe in Jesus Christ. He performed the atonement so we can return to our Father in Heaven. We can be cleansed of our sins if we follow him.

MICHAEL:

We do believe in the bible.

*Timothy*:

REALLY?

MICHAEL:

My favorite scripture in the bible is in Matthew 11:28-30.

MICHAEL:

It talks of how Christ can relieve our burdens.

*Timothy*:

WHY DO YOU USE A SMALL B?

*Timothy*:

WHEN YOU SPELL BIBLE?

MICHAEL:

I also know that Jesus Christ's church has been restored to this earth and that we have a living prophet, as well as apostles, just as Jesus Christ's church had in his time.

MICHAEL:

Sorry-Bible. Did you read Matthew 11:28-30 in the Bible?

*Timothy*:

OF COURSE I READ IT. DO YOU THINK I CAN'T READ?

*Timothy*:

HOW COULD I BE CHATTING WITH YOU IF I CAN'T READ?

MICHAEL:

No, I just wanted to share my favorite scripture with you from the Bible.

MICHAEL:

We not only believe in the Bible, but in the Book of Mormon as well. This contains the fulness of Christ's Gospel.

MICHAEL:

After Jesus Christ died and was resurrected he visited his sheep on the American continent.

*Timothy*:

HIS SHEEP?

*Timothy*:

THERE WERE NO SHEEP IN AMERICA!

MICHAEL:

The Book of Mormon is another testament of Jesus Christ from apostles living on the American Continent.

MICHAEL:

In John 10

MICHAEL:

verse 16

*Timothy*:

YOU SAID SHEEP. WHAT DO SHEEP HAVE TO DO WITH THIS?

MICHAEL:

Christ said, "other sheep I have, which are not of this fold: them also I must bring, and they shall hear my voice; and there shall be one fold, and one shepherd.

MICHAEL:

Jesus Christ is the good shepherd.

MICHAEL:

Sheep is a metaphor for God's people used in the Bible as well as the Book of Mormon.

MICHAEL:

I have a passage from the Book of Mormon:

*Timothy*:

DO YOU THINK MATT DAMON IS THE ANTICHRIST?

*Timothy*:

HE WAS IN THAT MOVIE THE GOOD SHEPHERD WHO YOU JUST SAID WAS JESUS. SO IS MATT DAMON PRETENDING TO BE JESUS?

MICHAEL:

"The good shepherd doth call after you; and if you will hearken unto his voice he will bring you into his fold, and ye are his sheep."

MICHAEL:

What I'm trying to say is Jesus Christ's gospel is again on the earth, we have a living prophet on the earth today, and I want you to know of this.

MICHAEL:

You can know the truthfulness of this message if you pray to our Heavenly Father.

*Timothy*:

BUT WHAT ABOUT MATT DAMON? EVEN HIS NAME IS SCARY--MATT DEMON(!)

MICHAEL:

Do you have any questions about what we believe?

*Timothy*:

YES. DO YOU BELIEVE MATT DAMON IS THE ANTICHRIST?

MICHAEL:

If you really want to learn of Jesus Christ, you can pray to our Heavenly Father, I am here to share with you that the gospel of Jesus Christ is on the earth, if you have any questions about our beliefs you can feel free to browse our website mormon.org

*Timothy*:

MICHAEL YOU'RE NOT BEING HELPFUL. IT'S A SIMPLE QUESTION. MATT DAMON = ANTICHRIST?

MICHAEL:

Like I said Timothy, I am here to help answer questions about the True Church of Jesus Christ on the Earth today, I'm not here to discus hollywood stars.

*Timothy*:

BUT IF HE'S THE ANTICHRIST, THEN THAT HAS TO DO WITH THE CHURCH ON EARTH, RIGHT?

MICHAEL:

You can accept this message or not, I cannot discuss movie stars and compare them to the gospel, in all seriousness I invite you to pray to our Heavenly Father to know the truth of this message.

MICHAEL:

Feel free to browse our website.

*Timothy*:

OK CAN I ASK YOU ANOTHER QUESTION?

MICHAEL:

If it pertains to the restored Gospel of Jesus Christ.

*Timothy*:

WHY DOES YOUR CHURCH REQUIRE CIRCUMCISION? DON'T YOU THINK THAT'S CRUEL?

MICHAEL:

We don't. It sounds like you don't know a lot about our church. I sincerely invite you to browse our website to know what we believe.

MICHAEL:

I am here to answer any questions you have about what we believe.

MICHAEL:

Have you ever heard of the Book of Mormon?

MICHAEL:

I can tell you more about that.

MICHAEL:

I can also tell you more about a living prophet on the earth today.

*Timothy*:

ARE YOU MAKING FUN OF ME? "IT SOUNDS LIKE YOU DON'T KNOW A LOT ABOUT OUR CHURCH". WELL EXCUUUUUUSE ME!

MICHAEL:

I'm not making fun, I am just here to tell you about our church.

*Timothy*:

THEN WHY DO YOU NEED TO SAY SOMETHING LIKE "IT SOUNDS LIKE YOU DON'T KNOW A LOT ABOUT THE CHURCH."

MICHAEL:

Timothy you know that wasn't my intention.

*Timothy*:

HEY MORMO, IT SOUNDS LIKE YOU CAN'T EVEN DO LOGIC 101 AND FIGURE OUT THAT YOUR MAGIC PLATES ARE FAKE.

MICHAEL:

I think I've done everything I can for you, feel free to explore mormon.org and learn more about our church. You have a good day.

*Timothy*:

MAY I SPEAK TO YOUR MANAGER?

MICHAEL:

There is nothing they can do that I can't. I am here to share with you the message of the Restored Gospel. I am in fact a missionary for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.

MICHAEL:

If you have any questions pertaining to our church, then feel free to browse our website mormon.org

*Timothy*:

I WOULD LIKE TO SPEAK TO YOUR MANAGER ALL THE SAME.

MICHAEL:

Timothy, this site is intended to teach others about the basics of the gospel of Jesus Christ.....

MICHAEL:

I don't feel like we can help you anymore than we have already tried to do.

MICHAEL:

Have a nice day and please feel free to search more on mormon.org and lds.org.

*Timothy*:

MICHAEL I WANT TO SPEAK TO YOUR MANAGER. IF YOU CAN'T HELP ME, YOU SHOULD LET ME SPEAK TO YOUR MANAGER.

MICHAEL:

Timothy, my name is Craig and I am a supervisor here. Michael has done everything he can to help you. Do you really want to learn more about the gospel of Jesus Christ?

*Timothy*:

NO YOU'RE STILL MICHAEL JUST PRETENDING TO BE SOMEONE ELSE. STOP PLAYING AROUND AND GET ME THE MANAGER.

MICHAEL:

Timothy have a nice day.

teh banned

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8154113)





Date: May 22nd, 2007 7:00 PM
Author: there\'s a wocket in my pocket

Haha, Michael is kind of a douche.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8154253)





Date: July 27th, 2007 1:11 AM
Author: analthendump (in ur correge, kirrin ur kidzzzz)

ty for the lulz

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8440158)





Date: May 22nd, 2007 6:52 PM
Author: Niggers Have a 180 on the COCKSAT

Thank you for taking the time to chat with us and for your interest in the Church. Please know that you are welcome to worship with us any time, request a visit from Mormon missionaries, order a Book of Mormon, or continue to browse our Web site to learn more answers to life's greatest questions.

Close this window

STEPHANIE:

Hi, how can i help you today?

Nate:

Hi Stephanie. I'm dating a Mormon girl and she's told me about Joseph Smith. I'm here to find out more about Mormonism.

STEPHANIE:

What would you like to know?

Nate:

Well first I wanted to know if it is true that your church teaches the whole sex before marriage thing.

STEPHANIE:

We do believe that God has commanded that we abstain from sexual relations before marriage.

Nate:

Oh shit. I think we may have broken that rule. Does that mean I got her kicked out of the church?

STEPHANIE:

That would be between her and her Bishop. Both of you could actually go and talk with her Bishop and he could help you understand the importance of chastity.

STEPHANIE:

Let me send you a page that explains the Law of Chastity.

Nate:

Would her Bishop still talk to her or would he be pissed off at me?

STEPHANIE:

The bishop is there to help. He realizes that people make mistakes and he is there to help people work through their mistakes.

STEPHANIE:

I know that he only wants to help her--he would never show anger to anyone who comes to get help.

Nate:

Yes, but the Bishop is her dad.

STEPHANIE:

http://www.mormon.org/mormonorg/v/index.jsp?vgnextoid=7a45055b23710110VgnVCM1000003a94610aRCRD&locale=0&sourceId=0fe66db0580a1110VgnVCM100000176f620a____

(This URL is opening in the browser window that you opened the chat window from.)

Nate:

And he thinks I'm a bad influence on her. See, we weren't technically supposed to be seeing each other.

STEPHANIE:

I can see how that would worry her, she could also talk to her stake president to find out what she needs to do.

Nate:

OK. Stake president sounds scary, like they're going to burn her or something.

STEPHANIE:

He is a man of God and will not hurt her in any way.

Nate:

Whoa, wtf no porn either?

STEPHANIE:

I know that would be a hard step for her to take, but it will be worth it.

Nate:

Her? What about me? No porn--that's impossible for guys.

STEPHANIE:

I can imagine that she feels very guilty, but she really needs to speak with her stake president, and that is all I can say about that.

STEPHANIE:

I know many guys who don't participate in pornography.

Nate:

Yeah, I don't participate in it either. But every guy looks at porn--it's normal.

STEPHANIE:

I also can tell you that they are happier because they don't. Things like pornography make you a slave--it's addictive. We've been promised that if we abstain from these things that we will be blessed.

Nate:

Wait, are you saying they don't even LOOK at porn? Um, if they say that, they're lying.

STEPHANIE:

We have been promised by a prophet of God that if we abstain from looking at pornography that we will be blessed.

Nate:

WTF? How are you blessed? Stephanie, have you ever been to medical school?

STEPHANIE:

AS I have lived the Law of Chastity I have been blessed with peace of conscience and a greater ability to feel the love of my Heavenly Father. I know that the Law of Chastity is a commandment given to us by God.

Nate:

Yes, but Stephanie, you're a girl. Again, have you ever been to medical school?

STEPHANIE:

No.

Nate:

Well, I have and you are full of it. Porn is normal.

STEPHANIE:

You don't have to trust me on this, Nate. You can find out for yourself. If you really want to know if God wants you to live the Law of Chastity you can ask Him.

Nate:

Stephanie, this may be news to you, but men and women have different peepee parts. Men get filled up every day with a fluid called semen and it needs to be expelled every day for healt purposes. That's why doctors say porn is normal.

STEPHANIE:

We're not here to discuss these kind of things. I encourage you and your girlfriend to meet with the Stake President, and please search mormon.org or lds.org if you have anymore questions.

Nate:

You seem threatened by the male anatomy. How often did your father rape you when you were a hot 16 y/o?

STEPHANIE:

Have a nice day.



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8154232)





Date: May 22nd, 2007 7:41 PM
Author: %^&$^*$%^

Valiant efforts.

Both of them.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8154516)





Date: May 22nd, 2007 6:56 PM
Author: there\'s a wocket in my pocket

You are speaking live with /MICHAEL/, who is a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Information provided in this session is to provide assistance only and is not an official statement of the Church.

MICHAEL: How may I help you?

Klo: HI

Klo: Do you know Julianne Hough is a Mormon?

Klo: She is on Dancing with the Stars and she dresses like a SLUT

MICHAEL: I have no idea whether Julianne Hough is a Mormon or not, I am not here to discuss hollywood stars, I am here to discuss the gospel of Jesus Christ

Klo: Oh

Klo: I wouldn't call her a slut

MICHAEL: I can help you with any questions you have about our church.

Klo: sorry, that slipped

Klo: ok

Klo: How does the mormon church view creationism?

MICHAEL: We believe that there is a living prophet on the earth today.

MICHAEL: We believe that Jesus Christ suffered and died for our sins and that we can return to our Heavenly Father through His son Jesus Christ.

Klo: I mean, the story of Adam and Eve

MICHAEL: Would you like to learn more about our church.

MICHAEL: ? Klo: Yes, I would like to learn about your view of the story of Adam and Eve

MICHAEL: We believe the Bible to be the word of God.

Klo: The creation story in the Bible

Klo: Oh, so you think they really existed?

Klo: Or was it more of a parable to help teach a lesson?

MICHAEL: We believe that we have a loving Heavenly Father and that we can become like Him and return to His presence.

Klo: Ok

Klo: That is not my question

MICHAEL: We believe that Jesus Christ, under the direction of our Heavenly Father created the Earth.

Klo: Here we go

Klo: Give it to me

MICHAEL: We are on earth as a testing period.

Klo: That's the stuff

MICHAEL: We believe in Adam and Eve

MICHAEL: Adam and Eve lived in the Garden of Eden.

Klo: Do you think we were created in God's image?

MICHAEL: They were told to not eat of the fruit of the tree of knowledge of Good and Evil.

MICHAEL: God also commanded them to multiply and replenish the earth.

Klo: Oh snap!

Klo: I hope they were married before they did that.

MICHAEL: They lived in God's presence in a state of innocence.

MICHAEL: Yes, they chose to partake of the forbidden fruit so that they could have children, so that we could exist on this earth.

Klo: Wait

Klo: So they couldn't have kids before they ate the fruit?

MICHAEL: Adam and Eve were the first of God's children on the earth.

MICHAEL: What is your question?

Klo: Ok

Klo: Do you think we were created in God's image?

MICHAEL: They really existed

Klo: Or that Adam was created in God's image

MICHAEL: Adam was God's first prophet on the earth.

MICHAEL: Adam was the first man on the earth.

MICHAEL: He received the priesthood, the power and authority to act in God's name on the earth.

Klo: Michael, I am sorry to be rude but you need to work on your reading comprehension or you will never get past a 170 on the LSAT

Klo: Was Adam created in God's image?

MICHAEL: When Adam and Eve partook of the fruit they were cast out of the Garden of Eden.

MICHAEL: I know we were created in God's image.

Klo: So then it's fair to say Adam was a hottie

MICHAEL: God has a perfected and glorified body of flesh and bones.

Klo: So it's fair to say he was NOT asian

Klo: So I take it, you do not believe this new theory

Klo: of Adam and Steve

MICHAEL: Exactly right.

Klo: Ok, so Adam and EVE

MICHAEL: They chose to partake of the fruit so they could have kids, so we could come to this earth to experience mortality.

Klo: a WHITE man and a WHITE woman (superior race)

MICHAEL: We were created in God's image.

Klo: So God is WHITE

Klo: This is very helpful

Klo: Ok MICHAEL: Genesis 1:26

Klo: So Adam and Eve were NOT tricked into eating the fruit by a Jew, is that correct? MICHAEL: And God said, Let us make man in our image, after our likeness.

Klo: Interesting

Klo: Ok

MICHAEL: Yes

Klo: On a scale of 1 to 10

Klo: HYPOtheticaclly

Klo: What would you RATE Eve?

MICHAEL: I can testify that Adam was a prophet and that we have a prophet on the earth today.

Klo: Ok

Klo: so it's fair to say

Klo: that Julianne Hough is a modern day EVE?

MICHAEL: We have a God's word through a living prophet on the earth today.

Klo: And that accordingly, she should stop dressing like such a SLUT

Klo: Is it true your temples keep addresses for all Mormons?

MICHAEL: I testify to you that through Jesus Christ, we can return to our Father in Heaven.

Klo: I know if I were a HOT DAUGHTEr my father would not want me dressing like that in public.

MICHAEL: Jesus Christ is the way that we can return to our Father.

Klo: Mayve in private.

Klo: Ok

Klo: So question.

Klo: Back to the forbidden fruit

MICHAEL: So you've read the Bible, I can tell you that we also have the Book of Mormon.

Klo: Did you know beans are fruits?

MICHAEL: The Book of Mormon is another testament of Jesus Christ.

Klo: Is it possible the forbidden fruit was a BEAN?

Klo: Focus please Michael, think about the LSATs again

Klo: Is it possible the forbidden Fruit was a BEAN

MICHAEL: I have a scripture from the Book of Mormon: The Lord Inviteth all to come unto him and partake of his goodness; and he denieth none that come unto him, black and white, bond and free, male and female.

MICHAEL: I extend to you an invitation to listen to this message.

Klo: I dont mind the coloreds, as long as he doesnt take asians

MICHAEL: I testify that the Book of Mormon is the Word of God, and that Jesus Christ would never turn away any who seek His love.

Klo: BUT what about the BEAN, Michael

MICHAEL: I testify that you can know the truthfulness of this gospel through prayer. MICHAEL: Adam and Eve were tempted by Satan.

Klo: CanI know the truthfulness about your thoughts on the magic beans?

MICHAEL: I have another scripture, if you'll let me share it about Adam and Eve.

Klo: No

Klo: I won't let you share it, in fact

Klo: until you answer my bean question.

Klo: This is very important to me

MICHAEL: Adam blessed God and was filled, and began to prophesy concerning all the families of the earth.

Klo: Oh, Michael :(

Klo: Ok

Klo: I will continue

MICHAEL: Saying: Blessed be the name of God, for because of my transgression my eyes are opened, and in this life I shall have joy, and again in the flesh I shall see God. Klo: If I say I love chinamen will you stop talking about how God loves all whites and blacks?

Klo: I mean, you already told me God, Adam and Eve were WHITE

Klo: I know Joseph Smith was WHITE

Klo: so we are clearly the master race, I dont mind the other races as long as they acknowledge that

MICHAEL: And Eve, his wife, heard all these things and was glad, saying: Were it not for our transgression we never should have had seed, and never should have known good and evil, and the joy of our redemption, and the eternal life which God giveth to the obedien

MICHAEL: t.

Klo: I just dont want those asians to be lusting after our slutty white women like julianne hough

MICHAEL: I know that the obedient shall receive Eternal Life in the life to come.

Klo: well "t." to you too.

Klo: I dont think I like your attitude.

Klo: in FACT

Klo: TTT to you, sir.

Klo: It is now obvious that you are not a white.

Klo: Please transfer me to another Mormon

MICHAEL: If we live righteous, we can live forever with our families in a state of hapiness.

Klo: a WHITE Mormon

Klo: So I can speak about my bean question.

MICHAEL: God rewards the obedient.

Klo: Michael.

MICHAEL: Do you believe in God the Father and His son Jesus Christ?

Klo: Are you listening to me?

Klo: Yes

Klo: I do.

Klo: I believe they were WHITE. HTFH.

MICHAEL: Our temples are sacred places where we perform sacred ordinances.

Klo: Is there a WHITE Mormon I could talk to? a Man

Klo: Where the hell do you get off talking about temples? When did we bring that up?

MICHAEL: I implore you to either listen to this message or not.

Klo: Ok

Klo: I implore that I will NOT Klo: until you lsiten to my questions

MICHAEL: In all seriousness, if you have any questions regarding the beliefs of our church I will happily answer them.

Klo: Ok, I do.

Klo: It's about Adam and Eve and the forbidden fruit.

MICHAEL: Shoot.

Klo: Checking in.

MICHAEL: You can feel free to browse our website to learn more about our website mormon.org and lds.org.

Klo: Ok, it is common knowledge that "Bean" is a euphemism for the female clitoris. It is acknowledged Adam ate the forbidden fruit and screwed us all. What are the chances the "forbidden fruit" was Adam performing Oral Sex on Eve?

Klo: By extension, does this mean Oral Sex is forbidden by the church?

MICHAEL: I am here to answer questions pertaining to our beliefs.

Klo: Fine Michael.

Klo: I see how it is.

Klo: Checking out.

Klo: and I am WHITE.

Klo: HTH.



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8154245)





Date: May 23rd, 2007 4:39 PM
Author: %^&$^*$%^

If I didn't know better, I'd think MICHAEL was a tape recording. :(

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8158616)





Date: May 24th, 2007 2:54 PM
Author: ^%*$*



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8162880)





Date: May 24th, 2007 3:28 PM
Author: rangerlaw



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8163025)





Date: June 6th, 2007 3:39 PM
Author: dannieb

sad to see this die down

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8221400)





Date: June 22nd, 2007 1:02 PM
Author: WhatNow? (I remember I was hammering on a fence in the backyard when Dad a)

Yeah

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8286330)





Date: June 22nd, 2007 4:46 PM
Author: womanontop

this was xo's last hurrah...

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8287066)





Date: July 8th, 2007 9:57 PM
Author: .,..,.,.,.,,,.,..,.,.,.,.,,.,.,.,..,.,.,,..,.,.




(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8353931)





Date: July 8th, 2007 11:48 PM
Author: katefromtexas. (And All I Got Was This Crummy T-Shirt)

You are speaking live with Gwen, who is a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Information provided in this session is to provide assistance only and is not an official statement of the Church.

Margarita:

Hello, how may I help you tonight?

Mista:

Howdy Margarita!

Mista:

Or should I say Hola?

Mista:

I was just talking with Alex, and he told me to come back if I had any other questions

Mista:

I have one more. Do you think you can help?

Mista:

Are you there?

Margarita:

Ok

Margarita:

what question do you have?

Mista:

Like I was telling Alex, I got interested in mormonism because of Mr Romney. You know him, right?

Margarita:

I will do my best

Margarita:

Yes

Mista:

He is VERY inspirational

Mista:

Anyway...

Mista:

Like I was telling Alex, I have a sort of checkered past.

Mista:

Alex said that my past might be a serious problem

Mista:

and that even if I repent

Mista:

I won't be able to join the church.

Mista:

So I was wondering if the church might be able to make an exception if I helped out with the Romney campaign.

Mista:

You think that's do-able?

Mista:

You there, hon?

Mista:

Hello?

Margarita:

I don't think so, Mista. I am sorry. Our church has nothing to do with his political campaign

Mista:

That's kind of a bummer.

Mista:

One final question?

Mista:

Margarita, honey, you there?

Mista:

Why hast thou forsaken me?

Margarita:

I am here

Mista:

Thank god.

Margarita:

hold on one second

Mista:

ok

Margarita:

Has transferred you to:

Gwen:

Hello Mista.

Gwen:

This is Gwen.

Gwen:

We have seen you a lot this evening.

Mista:

Hey, hon. You're back.

Mista:

I'm just trying to get some answers

Mista:

Unfortunately, everyone seems to be too busy

Mista:

Why did Margarita leave?

Gwen:

We have been trying to answer your questions.

Mista:

I know. You're all busy people

Gwen:

Mista, is there anything else I can help you with tonight?

Mista:

Yep.

Gwen:

any questions you have about mormon.org

Gwen:

and what you have read.

Mista:

One last thing (promise-with sugar on top)

Mista:

I have read everything Alex sent me and everything (almost) on mormon.org

Mista:

I also promised Alex that I would pray on a story before bed

Gwen:

go ahead.

Mista:

OK.

Mista:

I'm sorry to do this, Gwen, hon, but you sound like such a succulent flower. I need to go rub one out really quick. brb

Mista:

OK. Back

Mista:

Have you seen this: http://chat-live-with-a-mormon-missionary-is-working.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&mc=484&forum_id=2

Mista:

And what is you stance on WGWAG?

Gwen:

okay

Mista:

Gwen?

Mista:

What's the Church's position on WGWAG?

Mista:

I simply can't be a member of an organization that supports WGWAG

Mista:

HELLOOOOOOO?

Gwen:

Mista, we are here to help people come unto Christ by understanding the doctrines on mormon.org.

Mista:

YOu are doing god's work, Gwen

Gwen:

That is outside the scope of our purpose. Do you have any more questions about mormon.org.

Mista:

Are you refusing to answer questions about WGWAG because you don't acknowledge their existence?

Mista:

Or because they are depraved?

Mista:

Regardless of your views on WGWAG, I can tell you that I HAVE SEEN THEM

Mista:

I saw one in Michael Moore's Sicko. (in the middle)

Mista:

It was pretty gross

Mista:

This is a deal breaker. Please advise

Mista:

I demand an answer



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8354448)





Date: July 26th, 2007 10:13 PM
Author: :;;;;.............,.,.,.,..,,,,,,,,,,,..,.,.,.,.,. (<Party of Five>)


ty

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8439495)





Date: July 27th, 2007 1:28 AM
Author: DukeChick

i wonder if the missionaries who work on this website are stuck doing this because they are physically handicapped and ride a bike like real mormon missionaries?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8440221)





Date: September 28th, 2007 11:18 AM
Author: michmich

This thread is the most hilarious thing I've read on xoxo. Someone needs to post some more of these chats, I'm begging you...

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8699806)





Date: October 1st, 2007 10:37 AM
Author: Moses Malone

the Mormons beat us dude.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8713049)





Date: October 1st, 2007 11:12 AM
Author: michmich

How did they beat us? This thread is funny, it sounds like some major mormon pwn3age to me.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8713142)





Date: October 1st, 2007 11:19 AM
Author: Moses Malone

they are still up and running aren't they?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8713169)





Date: November 7th, 2007 5:07 PM
Author: rangerlaw

perhaps it is time for round #2

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8865987)





Date: November 7th, 2007 5:33 PM
Author: FreakyTah

someone start a new thread plz

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8866084)





Date: November 7th, 2007 6:18 PM
Author: hizzle

this thread is unreal

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8866288)





Date: November 7th, 2007 6:29 PM
Author: SkyReefer

it's the GOAT

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8866347)





Date: November 8th, 2007 9:22 PM
Author: C+C™ (Gonna Make You Sweat)

agreed.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8871521)





Date: November 9th, 2007 11:14 AM
Author: I like the way ya Gwerk it

http://www.break.com/index/christian-guy-totally-owns-mormons.html

Appropriate for this thread.

I'm waiting for the Mormons to say 'That is beyond the scope of our conversation.'

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8873570)





Date: November 19th, 2007 6:36 PM
Author: Dank Literate Chicks

Moar?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#8915142)





Date: January 27th, 2008 6:17 PM
Author: I like the way ya Gwerk it

lol

Should ask them about this

2 Nephi 5:21

21 And the Lord had caused the cursing to come upon them, yea, even a sore cursing, because of their iniquity. For behold, they had hardened their hearts against him, that they had become like unto a flint; wherefore, as they were white, and exceedingly fair and delightsome, that they might not be enticing unto my people the Lord God did cause a skin of blackness to come upon them.

Alma 3: 6 "And the skins of the Lamanites were dark, according to the mark which was set upon their fathers, which was a curse upon them because of their transgression and their rebellion against their brethren, who consisted of Nephi, Jacob, and Joseph, and Sam, who were just and holy men."

3 Nephi 2:14-15

14 And it came to pass that those Lamanites who had united with the Nephites were numbered among the Nephites;

15 And their curse was taken from them, and their skin became white like unto the Nephites;

Moses 7:22

22 And Enoch also beheld the residue of the people which were the sons of Adam; and they were a mixture of all the seed of Adam save it was the seed of Cain, for the seed of Cain were black, and had not place among them.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#9230632)





Date: February 3rd, 2008 9:43 PM
Author: ......,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,

THE BEST THREAD EVER

keep em short, I spent 2 hours reading this fucking thread.

I cried twice.

I did my own, but I can't copy it for some reason.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#9265574)





Date: February 3rd, 2008 9:45 PM
Author: Farts Chucking Justices

We found a work around for that problem. I don't remember what it was, though. Try looking at the source code for the page after you're done.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#9265578)





Date: February 3rd, 2008 9:45 PM
Author: GoBarackObama!

You each could be charged with a Federal crime for online harassment.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#9265579)





Date: June 10th, 2008 9:43 PM
Author: SkyReefer

Bump for the last great xoxo thread

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#9878274)





Date: July 26th, 2008 9:23 PM
Author: Soapy

Damn, well done xoxo.

This thread is a treasure trove of entertainment.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#10013092)





Date: July 26th, 2008 9:50 PM
Author: Soapy

You are speaking live with Scott, who is a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Information provided in this session is to provide assistance only and is not an official statement of the Church.

Darren:

Hi Scott

Scott:

hey hows it going?

Darren:

OK, I guess. Hey I've been having some doubts lately about my religious beliefs, and I was doing some research online about Mormonism. I was wondering if you could just answer a few questions for me that I'm still unclear on.

Scott:

Sure ill answer to the best of my ability

Darren:

OK, thanks. Lately my life's been going through some BIG CHANGES. I've gotten bored with my friends: they are all strivers who only care about their 40K watches. I want more from life than materialism, though. What i love about Jesus's teachings is that they are NOT materialistic. Does Mormonism hold the same views on materialism as Christianity?

Scott:

We are actually christians too, and agree with what your saying. i have a scriptuire i want to share with you...

Darren:

OK

Scott:

http://scriptures.lds.org/en/search?search=matthew+6%3A24

(This URL is opening in the browser window that you opened the chat window from.)

Darren:

Yes, that is a good quotation. I'm glad to see that Mormonism teaches AGAINST striverdom. However, I'm still not sure what teh fulcrum of the religion is. What would you say it is? Faith? Jesus? Revelation?

Scott:

There's not one specific thing, we focus on all of those things and more

Scott:

There's repentance, baptism... alot and there all really important

Darren:

OK, fair enough. I have to be honest that I am in fact looking to convert away from my current religion. I am not scared about converting, either. Guys at my high school converted all the time and it was no big deal. I just want to make sure that I make the right choice so that I don't have to feel this way down the road. I think I have one more pressing question, then. What is Mormonism's view on the body? Like, is it eternal like the soul? Is it just a vessel? Are we supposed to take care of it (I must admit I don't take care of my body well: I don't eat well, I don't work out, I can barely curl 225). What is the body then and what is its importance?

Scott:

Yes, we are supposed to care of it. we believe that when we die on in this life, our spirits are separated and go to a place we call the spirit world. We will wait there until the resurrection then we will all be resurrected back to our perfect form

Scott:

There's a scripture i have to share with you...

Darren:

OK

Darren:

Your help is a real 180, btw. I appreciate it, d00der.

Scott:

http://scriptures.lds.org/en/search?search=1corinthians+3%3A16-17

(This URL is opening in the browser window that you opened the chat window from.)

Scott:

This explains the importance of keeping our bodies clean and pure

Darren:

OK, thnx. Well that answers my questions. I must say I feel more confident in Mormonism now. Next time I see my striver friends I might even be more brave in front of them, and I'll actually step up to their faces and say "SHOW ME YOUR 40K WATCH FAGGOTSSSS!" (they're gay). Anyway, thanks, Scott! bye

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#10013159)





Date: August 21st, 2008 10:27 PM
Author: Now that you mention it

i enjoyed this

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#10085253)





Date: August 21st, 2008 10:21 PM
Author: MrJaneHoya

bump, again, for teh lulz

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#10085237)





Date: October 5th, 2008 12:35 AM
Author: A pumber gets fined for not getting healthcare



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=625312&forum_id=2#10229163)