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Lena Chen: Rules for using my vajayjay

http://sexandtheivy.com Random Thoughts on Random Hookups...
.... .
LOL @ #2. How many times do you think she has been thrown...
#3 is also hilarious... Why would anyone want to stick aroun...
this girl posted on craigslist for a date while she was visi...
.... .
nothing special...her ad was pretty innocent if I recall...w...
she's a fat asian
That'd be quite a scoop, if true. *Craigslist*, Lena? ...
I know. Wish I had saved the email/posting.
margaret cho
that thin chinese girl is onto something. i would like to ta...
sarcaschtick\'s Betrayed Mother

Poast new message in this thread

Date: May 15th, 2007 6:13 PM
Author: .... .


Random Thoughts on Random Hookups

Filed under: Sex, Hooking Up ó Elle May 15, 2007 @ 2:49 am

My blockmate Terra said to someone yesterday that I just donít do Harvard guys (and I mean ďdoĒ in an all-purpose, not entirely sexual sense). I canít deny that sheís right. With the exception of early sophomore fall and the occasional drunk makeoutfest, Iíve stayed away from Harvard undergrads when it comes to both dating and sexing. I just donít like the way college boys feel. Too young, too inexperienced, too disappointing. My most satisfying experiences have been with older guys ó at least four years removed. One exception: I lucked out as a freshman with my first college fuck buddy. Despite being a virgin, he was miraculously savvy in the sack. Iíve yet to encounter such blow-my-mind manual dexterity in the year and a half since.

Is it any wonder that of the guys I have hooked up with, the overwhelming majority are from this yearís graduating class? Itís not as if two-yearís difference means terribly much but the difference, however minute, is enough. At the very least, Iím no oneís first drunken error and the guy has a condom if I donít and he will actually attempt oral sex somewhat successfully. But Iím being completely critical at the moment, generalizing about an entire population, and not exactly offering helpful tips. So Iíll cease.

The reason I write all this is that I recently spent the night with an undergrad who was actually responsive to my needs, respectful, and not entirely awkward come dawn. I left feeling like he was a decent individual, which is not what can be said for 90% of similar situations Iíve been in. It made me wonder why hooking up couldnít always be like this, and especially why hooking up in college, at Harvard, couldnít be like this. From this, I formed the conclusion that there are some universal rules to abide by:

1. Phone calls arenít expected after one-night stands, but acknowledge the other party in public instead of conveniently looking at your shuttle schedule when they pass by.

2. Unless theyíre about to puke on you, let your hookup spend the night. You took them home; itís polite.

3. Do spend the night if offered. Itís polite. (At least pretend that you werenít just over for the orgasm).

4. Straight couples: if the girl insists on going home anyway, walk her even if itís 3 a.m. Just do it. Gay couples: not so sure on the etiquette ó call cab? Either way, muggings are not so sexy.

5. Reciprocate. Especially when it comes to oral.

If everyone would just do stuff like this, it would make the entire hookup scene more pleasant and less awkward.

On a tangent, Iíd also like to take a moment to clear my name. My atrocious behavior last weekend (not reciprocating after receiving oral sex ó and in fact, only kissing the guy) wasnít that bad when considering the context. First, I told him before I even went home with him that I wouldnít ďbe doing a damn thingĒ for or with him so I was already going further than promised. Second, he got off on going down on me anyway. Win-win. Besides, getting oral sex is far from consent to give it. It may not be terribly polite to deny the other party (after all, Iím breaking my own rule), but there is certainly no obligation. Also, this instance is most definitely a first and will not be repeated. Not that he should be holding his breath.


Date: May 15th, 2007 6:16 PM
Author: homeless

LOL @ #2.

How many times do you think she has been thrown out in the middle of the night?


Date: May 15th, 2007 6:18 PM
Author: ViolentPoor

#3 is also hilarious... Why would anyone want to stick around after fucking her?!


Date: May 15th, 2007 6:26 PM
Author: lenachenfan

this girl posted on craigslist for a date while she was visiting NYC last year. I corresponded with her for awhile but never met her.


Date: May 15th, 2007 7:16 PM
Author: .... .



Date: May 15th, 2007 7:23 PM
Author: lenachenfan

nothing special...her ad was pretty innocent if I recall...when I googled her name this sexandtheivy crap popped up. It was around New Years.

Does she meet all the guys she talks about on craigslist?


Date: May 15th, 2007 7:26 PM
Author: AntiGunner

she's a fat asian


Date: May 15th, 2007 7:35 PM
Author: %^&$^*$%^

That'd be quite a scoop, if true.

*Craigslist*, Lena?

How UNpretentious of you.



Date: May 15th, 2007 7:44 PM
Author: lenachenfan

I know. Wish I had saved the email/posting.


Date: May 15th, 2007 7:30 PM
Author: Cyrus
Subject: margaret cho

I was at dinner with some friends the other night, and a relatively svelte, cute Chinese girl sitting to my left had a somewhat rotund Asian girl sitting to her left. This chunky girl wound up being loud and a bit obnoxious, and was even intentionally abrasive at times. At least that's how it seemed to me.

After dinner, the thin Chinese girl said something really funny to her female friend, just within my earshot, about the chunky girl: "Why do all fat Asian girls wind up with Margaret Cho's personality?!"


Date: May 15th, 2007 8:08 PM
Author: sarcaschtick\'s Betrayed Mother

that thin chinese girl is onto something. i would like to talk to her about this some more in private...